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How to Heal When the Church Hurts You
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- Опубліковано 19 сер 2024
- Jackie Hill
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I am no longer dealing with church hurt but I am ok with not belonging to one. I will attend but will continue to build boundaries. I have to protect my sanity
You can love but that doesn’t mean you have to stay there. You can move on in peace.
The Church is a group of sinful and imperfect people, but through them God still works... And that is beautiful.
@AnnaTopal, I agree with you 100% Percent!
@Jørgen Hansen Keep going to Church! None of us can make it without God. Get the Devil back with the word of God.
Well said
i am not in church because of hurt & betrayal after hearing her testimony i can be healed
My wife was hated by a pastor's wife in a church she used to go to. In fact, my wife would do everything she could to find out how she offended the woman, but the lady would not tell her. In fact, my wife, a very good and serious Christian had trouble praying and worshipping at times because she felt like she should "leave her gift at the alter and be reconciled with this lady." But what finally happened, is God stepped in and changed a heart. When my wife was dying of cancer, this woman came to the hospital and had communion with her. God changed a heart, and that made my wife very happy too. Stephanie was a great saint of God. She was very happy this lady "forgave her" because she knew that without her forgiving, she could not be forgiven. That is the type thinker I want to be, I wish I could get a lot more like Stephane.
eugene bell wow , that’s sad that that pastors wife acted like that ... glad she changed . May The Lord comfort you
Jesus please give a hug to my brother & heal his heart
Im sorry your wife went through this., and Im so very sorry you lost your beautiful wife to cancer. That would be so very difficult, but I'm so glad that you know she's no longer suffering and is with the Lord in heaven. One day you will be reunited with her again and that will be a glorious day!
I can relate very much to what you've related about your wife. My pastor's wife doesn't like me either and will barely acknowledge me or give me the time of day. I have absolutely no idea why... We even look quite a bit alike even though I'm well over a decade older than her...people have gotten us confused before on several occasions and I could tell that really bothered her. However, I'm my own person, and I dont try to imitate her or look like her. I really have no idea if that has anything to do with it or not. However, I wont give particulars, but I have gone way out of my way to be kind to her and try to befriend her or at least get to know her better. Much like your wife, I am completely puzzled by it. Even though I've tried my best to walk in love and forgiveness, its not easy. I wont go into detail, but there are a number of things she has said and done against me to isolate me and make me feel like I'm not worthy. About 3 times she spoke about me from the pulpit without mentioning my name, but talked about me in several humiliating ways. Several times she spoke about me publically talking about a specific incident. I actually truly did a good thing that was well received by the individual at the time.
They even thanked me several times. However, that good was turned to a lie and the truth twisted to make it seem evil. As God as my witness, it was not evil and done from a pure heart. It was very hard to hear...
But about 5 weeks ago the pastor himself spoke about me in an ugly and demeaning way about the same occurrence. Keep in mind, nothing was ever said to me...only about me. I've even asked in past to meet with them, but they ignore me. I was again lied about, publically humiliated, and was called a gossip and devisive person. It's ridiculous, because I have never ever told no one. This cuts so deeply. That most recent occurrence even went out publically on You Tube about me. Most people wouldn't know though, because I have said nothing.
I truly ❤️ my church and the teachings are very good. I know for certain God called me to this church. However, since this , I haven't been able to bring myself to go back. I don't even know what to do. I know there are other good churches, but I dont feel a release. Yet, the pain and heartache is very real! It was all I could do to not break down sobbing...I'm a pretty strong person, but this just has gonevon too long.
Same here. I'm still wondering how I hurt so many people in church .
I'm currently going through this .. I been in my church since 2011 and I'm 27 now . Through out the years there's been cliques , I have been left out , I have been condemned over and over again . There's been favoritism I'm always the wrong one they never are . I have a life threatening condition where I had surgery at 23 years old and I kept talking about my illness after hiding it in me for so many years ..they say you talk about your illness too much . Then one of the girls around my age recently block only me out of the rest of youth when I didn't even do anything .it hurts honestly . I'm to the point I lost hope and patience..
I'm sorry for your pain. I pray that God has healed you and renewed you in this since you posted this. He is a faithful King even when His followers are deeply flawed.
I can relate the church I grew up in has so many cliques. And the members are extremely judgmental critical of others. Ive gone there since I was 4, and it was hard to fit into the youth group there, but I had no other choice than to go every week. That must have hurt alot, I'm sorry you went through that😞. The only thing we can do after all this. Is process the emotions of anger and hurt and allow God to work on our hearts. I just praise Jesus that He also can relate to our pain. He was criticized heavily by those around Him, excluded from where he grew up. He knows all our pain, I'll pray that you are able to receive healing from Him, God bless you sis, thanks for sharing ❤
Sad
I'm praying 🙏 for u! I've experienced much of the same things (minus the severe illness), even accused of hitting on men, by the Pastor & kicked Outcome without even an attempt to allow Myself (im a woman) & my husband to sit down to have a meeting & clear up the misunderstanding; which was something he always preached, but when it came to HIS family he didn't practice what he preached..
It made me turn away from God and backslide for a long time!!!
How are you doing now?
I gotta admit that... I haven't gone to the church since september, 2013 and it's quite difficult to start believing again in those who used to call you Sister, but didn't act as if you really were one.
I'm angry and I'm distrustful, but I get the point: I should love the church because Jesus does, even with every mistake and every sin its members commit. And if I want to look like Jesus, if I want to be just like him then I should do the same. It's hard. It's about letting go what hurt you in the past and denying yourself in order to start forgiving people. That's what our Father wants us to do, and I really pray to him so he can give me the strenght I really need.
He has already giving you strength. you choose to use it
Hi my sis ❤️ I kinda feel what you feel.. I was also hurt by church.. and it's really hard to trust anyone.. it's so hard to be accepted..when you are from a different type of a family.. most people in the church are very judgemental.. I sometimes wonder ...are people going to church to look at the flaws of others...or to pray.. I mean for real.. people like to make others feel unworthy , not valuable..or like they are the biggest sinners...well truth be told we all are sinners... And some act as if they are the most righteous..and others are beneath them and all... To me ...this child we both were in 7th grade and she told me..I would go to hell...cause my parents are from two different churches..and because I'm not from her church... It hurt me so much... U know...that was the time..I didn't really even know right from wrong..as in a lot of adult things I didn't know at all..even now idk some things ..but for someone to just point blank tell you..u will go to hell... That sucks beyond anything.. and that's why when I found the truth... I decided to not be like that..I decided to love ..not just Christian's..not just my same race..not just my same anything..to love everyone equally...cause I felt Abba wants that..and to not make anyone feel unworthy... Cause Abba gave me another chance.. and who am I to judge anyone...we all make mistakes .. 😍 haha idk why I said all this...
No PLEASE this is how people keep you under their thumb do not go back girl, believe in community, god is but a story we’ve made up to better control and manipulate one another. You are much safer away from these people. You can totally find meaning through higher power, but not to the extent a lot of people take it. Living life and ultimately doing what makes YOU happy is what is right. Sometimes you do have to be a little selfish, and there’s nothing wrong with that. If you’re looking for community to give back to try starting with your neighbourhood. In reality you are going to get a lot more out of your life by doing what makes you happy, rather than condemning yourself to serving someone else for the rest of your life.
I choose me.
🖤🤘🏼
Everything begins in the gospel, one must understand that God is Holy and just
And in His Holiness, He hates sinners and is displeased with them everyday
Jesus said, Be perfect just as your heavenly in Father is perfect
Only perfect people can be accepted by God in heaven
In which, leaves us hopeless, for none is good, not not even one
Leading us to the good news, Jesus Christ, truly God and truly man, came to earth for the sinners to save them
He lived a perfect life, truly sinless, yet He was considered as a wicked men, condemned to death, bearing the wrath of the Father, dying on the cross and on the third day rose again
Therefore, God is offering salvation, forgiveness of all one's sins, and be a child of God
Believe, on who Christ is and His works are sufficient for your salvation, and you shall be saved!
If you truly believe, then repent, turn away from loving sin and forsake evil, walk into the narrow way, and continue to know Christ through the Bible
I’m hurting right now. But I never thought about it from this perspective. How Jesus’s friend turned against him causing great harm. But Jesus still loved him. And we the church are to love the sinners we are all sinners, not just the ones who believe they have it all right already. One of my favorite sayings is the Great physician in his Church (us). So what need is there for the Dr if everyone is perfect already? I want to be at the church where God is the Dr. And is needed. And that means being around imperfect people. I am also imperfect. I can only become more like Christ when I love even those that refuse to know me or my story. Those that refuse to love me as Christ loves me. ❤
Well I disagree. Not all people use hurt to justify their hatred. I've been hurt but I dont go around hurting people either. Just because you forgive someone does not mean you need to reconnect them. Pray for them and move on. Trust me when I say some people are legitimately toxic and use the word of God to truly manipulate others to doing their own will and saying its "Gods will". Why would God in his epistles warn of wolves in sheeps clothing if it wasnt real?
She Said some people.i agree not all.
I agree with what you said fully. I believe the church I came out of had tares amongst the wheat and they are there to purposefully persecute you. When I was still at that church I literally world thank the Lord that He showed me who He us before I stepped foot in that check otherwise I'd have been an atheist. That's how bad it was. When I left and started going to a different church it was like I got saved all over again. Praise the Lord!
That's not what she is saying. She is saying the opposite. She is speaking of people that hold on to their pain as justification not to forgive the church as a whole.
You have some great points. Just bc its a church doesn't mean it's a healthy church or has healthy Christians who are disciples of Christ. A Christian vs. a disciple makes a difference. I feel like I've been supported more outside my church than inside it. I pray I can find a healthy church so I can experience that while in earth. Been in church since youth and truly haven't found a place I can say is a church family. I just exist and go through the motions. I am tired of it now though
She said some
"I think some people that have been hurt use their pain as justification for hatred, which isn't right."
PREACH IT!!! 🙌🙌🙌
That was real..... it was hard 2 give when i was hurt by people in the church cuz i thought ...man.... we are suppose 2 be God's saints.... And it was also really tough on my wife.... because we were extremely close 2 the people ..... but thru God he showed me his glory 2 forgive despite what happens..... And look me tell u .... it was 1 of the hardest things God took me thru.... but it was worth it seeing God on the other side...Amen
... Trust GOD ...he delivers....
I just told my pasture i wouldnt be attending any more an hour ago. Im hurt, im scared, im lost. I have gave everything in my heart to serve and suport that congregation. For the past four years and ive be been miserable. After finding God and recieving the Holy spirit i searched for the body for a long time, over a year. But although i longed for the body i was happy and led by the spirit. Once I became involved in the Church i have lost so much. It has been a soul wrenching experience the whole 4 years. I couldnt do it anymore. I will find another place to attend and pray i have a exsperience that brings me closers and helps me to grow and serve Christ.right now I'm really hurting. 2:51 2:51
Like*
i get that jackie, i totally do. but theres a reality of going through the healing process in a healthy manner and everyone has their own walk. ultimately Gods perfect will is unity but sometimes it takes a separation and time in order for their to be reconcilation. God gets the glory as people walk in His will and peace for their lives
Wow! These are my thoughts exactly and precisely what I am currently going through.
Thank you for expressing what you’ve been through. I was hurt by two church leaders who only wanted to gain recognition and evangelise lives into the church because that would mean that their spiritual level would be raised(so they believed). Though the church itself wasn’t a cult, their actions were cult like. One even checked my phone to see if I was chatting to men in case I was sexually falling. If we didn’t get up to pray every morning we would be considered spiritually low level and it went on. It got to a point where I nearly checked myself into a mental institution because I was made to feel like everything was wrong with me for many years. As a result I hated those people and even had so much anger towards God for allowing these people to run the church and not helping me. It’s taken me 5 years to get my mental health back on track and not be triggered by past memories. I was close to suicide but because I’ve met proper loving Christians i was able to heal.
I'm so sorry you experienced that. I pray God heals your heart and give you peace that surpass all understanding.
@@Naymichelle76 Same. Truly sorry..I get it...really do! You didn't deserve what happened to you and neither do I. I'm glad other Christians gave you unconditional ❤️ love! God bless!
This is a great message for all people. As a pastor's kid, I really needed to hear this!!
I'm a pk too! This was a super timely reminder for me; to see the church as God sees it.
It's not about walking with the church but WALKING WITH GOD.....but sometimes you have to let them be and just focus on GOD.
Thank God for His grace over her life.
Spot on! May God continue to bless your ministry
Only One is Worthy, Jackie. A friend of mine sent me a link to some of your work yesterday. It is all beautiful. I look forward to our continuing to reap the benefits of your refusal to bury the talents you've been entrusted with. There are many forums within which to minister. More and more of Him in and through you, sister, to His glory.
IRON SHARPENS IRON. YOU ARE SO RIGHT. GOD BLESS YOU, YOUR LIFE, YOUR DESTINY AND YOUR MINISTRY.
Praise God I needed this I left an abusive Church kind of like a cult my sisters are still in it and it hurts the Lord open my eyes to the truth and brought me back to the Simplicity of the Gospel I seen some of the stuff she was preaching was not lighting up to the word of God but to cut a long story short keep me in prayer and my family for Unity and for my healing as well. 🙏
I am struggling with this aspect, but just like how the hospital is not for the healthy, the church is not for the "spiritually perfect" (there is no one perfect except for God Himself anyways). Take faith that despite the pain, Jesus went through pain that reached the peak of dying on the cross out of love for us. I do pray that anyone going through struggles in church won't let it make them walk away from God, and for there to be people who exemplify what it means to be loving, kind, patient, and graceful to us, and walk with us when we are down - just as God is to us even when we may not feel it to be the case.
Beautifully Said Sweet Sister!!💯👌🏽
God Bless You For Sharing!💕🙂
She's got it! This young lady is on the right path!
Don't assume her gender she's a non binary transgender lesbian gay Christian how dare you assume or judge who they think they are
Excellent. What an asset to have in your Ministry. Praise God for Jackie Hill and what she's learnt through her journey!
I thank God for you. Your gift has truly truly blessed me. GBU you, your husband and child.
Wooooow ! This is Amazing, I love your humility and forgiven heart
Decided to leave my church today after 10 years the hurt is so deep I’ve become someone who hates themself I doubt all my intentions and feel unworthy. I don’t know what’s next but I can’t take it anymore. I’m always the bad guy and im tired of it
This was beautiful and it blessed me
I LOVE this ❤️ VERY WELL SAID. Thank you for being willing to share your heart!
I'm so blessed to have discovered your messages. Keep 'em comin!
I'm going through this and not able to return to church. I don't trust the people anymore.
I worked at a church for 4 years. I grew up there, went away for college but thought that I would be there forever. Our new senior pastor, has fired pastors and lied to the congregation about it saying they really wanted to go into real estate. He also told the congregation that my best friend was being used of the devil to divide our church. I am heart broken and I don't know where to go from here. All I do know is that I cannot stay in this hurt forever. I want to move forward but I am too scared to walk into a church. Anyone have any advice?
John Robert, I am so sorry you're going through this. I am going through my own situation involving the pastors of my church. (I wrote quite a diatribe about my situation without giving many details. You can read it if you wish too,)
Anyway, I know how deeply it cuts and hurts and I just wanted to offer my prayers🙏and support. I don't have any advice except to keep your eyes and heart on the Lord and ask him to make the crooked paths straight. I also encourage you to walk in love and forgiveness. We're human, so God understands our ❤️ hearts...even when we vascilate back and forth in our feelings. I haven't been able to make myself go back except one time. I think it's really important to seek after the Holy Spirit who leads us into all truth. God 🙌 bless you and keep you through everything you're going through!
Wow I just watched you on a tbn episode on here and this came up next. I’ve never seen this by you and I’ve followed you and your poetry along while now. This is good info Jackie 🙏❤️
Love this!
Very well stated. I needed to hear this today.
I can’t never be used at a church properly! People only use me for my gifts but the moment I slipped up I can’t be used lol I don’t fit in at all anywhere
Amen. 🙏
Please pray for my lungs to be healed
This is where I am now I need to do better. Somebody pray for me.
I needed this.
needed this - thank you & be blessed
Wow this is a great one.
Nothing you can do when hurt by a church.
how are ppl hurt where they are supposed to be healed.........🤷
Amen
Thank You SOOOOO SO MUCH for sharing
Very awesome video..
Well said
There are too many crappy pastors who will NEVER live up to the standard and only wish to glorify themselves. Forgive and move on.
#preach
If God does not forgive sinners if we do not repent, why do we have to forgive those who do not repent
I wonder if any of the women that John Piper has hurt by telling them to stay and endure being abused ¨for a night¨ and then go to the church rather than telling them to go to the police for help need this video.
Avoid getting hurt by avoiding legalism and the baptist.
Why the baptist
*****
Hey Thomas, The girl in this video sounds genuine. She starts out saying she used great caution in her decision to join a church. She is wise for that IMO. Legalism is "alive & well" in most churches. My family was recently ran off from a local baptist "church" (openly during service) because we support the right to vote. We were vehemently against the vote passing (alcohol referendum) but as lovers of the constitution and our freedom we protect the peoples right to vote. I know they're some wonderful saved baptists out there...This is the wrong place to expound on the subject. To summarize it though...most baptist churches are very good (and experienced) at appearing spiritual and legitimate when in fact...many are well orchestrated shams. you ask: "Why the baptist"... well in light of the video "church hurt" and my personal experience (SS superintendent, treasurer, SS teacher, trustee etc.) within the denomination (not anymore thank God above)...I 'm obligated to warn others to avoid getting hurt by the baptist. ANY church that tries to wrap a cable tow around your neck should be avoided. When the fake pastor starts telling everyone the precise way that should walk, talk, dress, eat, smell, stand, sit etc. ...shake the dust off your feet... I highly recommend that a person stand at least three feet from a baptist when shaking hands with him and DO NOT take your eyes off his left hand as he says "God bless ya brother"...then slowly back away.
I am blessed
#regalbabies
Church made of imperfect people
I do need fellow believers
I behave myself- quite, mind my business yet get rejected
Must love from afar
Can’t take it anymore
The word “church hurt” sounds to me like gaslighting. Not only that but talking about the individuals who have been *abused* as if they are the ones who invited this pain isn’t Christian. Just putting it out there.
Going through church hurt now and I’m over it. I can’t be used cause I’m shy but we got ushers who smoke weed, gay, and in secret competition with stank attitudes. I’m over it!!!! I can’t stand it!!!!! I hate going to church now I’m disgusted! I force myself to go. I purposely took my time getting dressed today just so I can be late for church… lol i don’t care no more!!!
Did you go back to the same church or another
I get where she's coming from, as it's biblical. But we need to be careful though because this advice taken to an extreme can be used to justify abuse as well. This advice is also working on the assumption that the majority of people in a certain local church are actually born again believers. Pew research surveys seem to indicate that like 80-90% of professing believers in churches do not know God. And even if they are all true believers, they can still sin and be the church inconsistently, and hurt others. Sometimes I'm convinced that membership and attendance in the institutional church is one of the biggest idols in our day. People act like they are justified by church attendance and fellowship alone rather than faith in Christ alone. I firmly believe that in heaven we will be shocked to see how many people there never walked through the door of a church or left because of church hurt and never returned.
The opinion that God chooses His glory over the idea that He wants me and you healed of an abuse by the leaders or members of the Church doesn't give context and meaning to why that is.
The reason Father and our Lord rather wants His glory to be forward and first isn't simply to keep that first, He knows that in His glory resides and abides all the healing necessary for maturity and when we direct our hurt towards Him and all that glory -
Obedience by the Holy Spirit. Fruit production of the Holy Spirit. The Golden rule. Abiding in Christ. Hearing the word identify you as a child of God and not one who becomes the sin done against you, not the you who thinks he liked being raped or she liked being raped and dominated because it met a seedy desire she could never shake or the guy's act was fully akin to living that way willingly.
No. Those moments of sin we fall to tell a tale, but God's glory can, will, must, should and naturally outshines the pain of sin all the time and in all ways except when one gives into pain and hurt and it leads to suicide.
Still, all blessings in the heavenly places lead us back to His truth:
I AM the Way. The Truth. And the Life!
Everything begins in the gospel, one must understand that God is Holy and just
And in His Holiness, He hates sinners and is displeased with them everyday
Jesus said, Be perfect just as your heavenly in Father is perfect
Only perfect people can be accepted by God in heaven
In which, leaves us hopeless, for none is good, not not even one
Leading us to the good news, Jesus Christ, truly God and truly man, came to earth for the sinners to save them
He lived a perfect life, truly sinless, yet He was considered as a wicked men, condemned to death, bearing the wrath of the Father, dying on the cross and on the third day rose again
Therefore, God is offering salvation, forgiveness of all one's sins, and be a child of God
Believe, on who Christ is and His works are sufficient for your salvation, and you shall be saved!
If you truly believe, then repent, turn away from loving sin and forsake evil, walk into the narrow way, and continue to know Christ through the Bible
🫡
Uhh, wait... what? 😅
No where in scripture does Jesus refer to the church as his bride. That is a false doctrine. In the book of Revelations he says that his bride is the holy city of Jerusalem.
The church can’t hurt you if your faith is focused on God.
Is the church a building?
No it’s believers. God isn’t coming to redeem a building or an organization but his bride, those who believe and follow him
@@DaughterofYah101 Philemon 1:2 - And to our beloved Apphia, and Archippus our fellowsoldier, and to the church in thy house:
See God can do the work you need done in Christ not the church because most churches are just playing religion and tradition has nothing to do with Christ I don’t need a pastor or function of a Church the Holy Spirit is our teacher Jesus himself never mentioned the church he said I will send the comforter the spirit of truth to guide you church use to much manipulation to keep people coming and following what the pastor vision is not Christ
If you follow this advice you'll regret it.
Yeshua gave only ONE New Commandment - love one another as He loved us, and He said to love them to the point of not only sacrificing our goods, but our lives if need be. The church DOES NOT AT ALL follow Christ. When we think our loving God will send average people be tortured by fire for billions of years, you must realize that person is not only mentally ill, but demonic as well. YOU raise your children, usually in a church with its values, and if your children get on drugs or if they refuse to obey you, they expect you to kick your children out of your home and your life. Did your children raise themselves? No, they grew up in an extremely toxic atmosphere - a demonic atmosphere - we can't we stop and think that WE and the perverted church are the cause of those disastrous results in our children. Stop defending the church. Muslims also believe in Christ, they believe He will return, and with that should be extremely obvious to them, they are willing to kill and die for their perversion. Study Christ alone. It was prophesied many times we should follow Judaism, but combined with the spirituality of Christ. Paul with his spite for the original disciples, he changed the message of Christ from love to rules and human reasoning. Please wake up. Love your family, love others as Christ loves them. Can you honestly say what you see in church is truly divine love? ua-cam.com/video/Un2MT0U3FiQ/v-deo.html