The *real* reason you can't change.
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- Опубліковано 8 чер 2024
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Change is hard, but you can make it easier 🧠
CHAPTERS:
00:00 intro
00:44 stages of change
01:51 stage 1: precontemplation
02:30 stage 2:contemplation
03:14 stage 3: preparation
03:45 stage 4: action
04:26 stage 5: maintenance
05:33 where you get stuck
09:23 examples of relapsing
11:15 the 6th phase
11:53 shame & guilt
14:04 getting through relapsing
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Talk about a serendipitous video - I am currently wallowing in the "shame/guilt" of relapse on some behaviors that I have decided to "clean up" in 2024. Did great until the end of April and then the wheels fell off. Thanks for the hand up, the kick in pants and the encouragement to move forward! (the things I wanted to change are in the same vein as your getting up early )
I definitely get caught up in the preparation stage, by trying to develop the perfect plan before taking any action, lol
Very good topic, and lots of good hints. My biggest roadblock is with action. I like to plan, I like to decide what I will do, but when it comes time to doing, that’s where I hit the wall.
One thing to keep in mind, however, is that making the decision to do something is easy. Making it a habit requires work. Whether taking baby steps, or going in full hog, you need to come back to it every day, day after day. You need to force your brain to change and establish,
and then reinforce connections that make the new habit possible.
Great video! As usual. I spent many decades trying to make changes with mixed success…and then at an embarrassingly old age discovered that I’d had adhd the whole time. From what I’ve learned since then, that means that most of the “habit change” gurus were giving me advice that didn’t really work for my brain - I could do a thing for 30, 60, 120 days, and still just suddenly not do it, because that whole internalized motivation just wasn’t there. Instead I’ve been working on externalizing the desired change - making routines that are supported by my environment instead of relying on some internal motivation. I think, based on that chart, it’s in the section about action-relapse - maintenance-except it’s more “design the system - test the system - system fails (relapse) - adjust the system.” This also helps with the guilt, I think, because it’s not about me failing - it’s that I’m trying to design something, and prototyping and testing until I find something that works.
Anyway, obviously you gave me a lot to think about - probably end up making my own video or writing about it on Medium. Much appreciated!!
Wow- I needed this video right now in my life! Thank you so much! I always get stuck in the Preparation phase. The Action phase always seems too difficult for me. I’m just now getting started, and it’s so helpful to be aware of the Relapse phase! This video is totally going to help me feel less shame and guilt, because I now know, thanks to you, that it’s normal to have some regression. Again. Thank you so much. ❤️💛💚💙💜
do you have any advice for getting out of the preparation phase? i feel like i spend too much time trying to find the perfect plan/resources instead of just starting
Well, this was timely… 😅 *puts reevaluation chat with her supporting partner on the to do list for today*
your videos are always so helpful
The comparison to a story reslly resonated with me!
Such an important video, thank you for sharing ☺☺
Good video
The only problem with this video is I didn’t see it decades ago 🤯
I think it's a bit presumptuous to think that people need to change. It's not just you, but it's everywhere on social media and it got me thinking about "change" and why it's almost accepted that people are always changing, or need to change...so they buy the books, listen to the "experts", even listen to baldies like James Clear and Tim Ferriss.
They fill their time with all these things that they think will cause real change and they just end up getting yet another planner, another calendar, another productivity app. I grew up in the 1990s and I can't relate to any of that.
The hard truth is that the economy is so poor that we're going to have to draw wisdom from previous generations and ancestors who made by with very little. Even if you're making $120,000 a year like some are, there may come a time when you're not.
I saw that data from Redfin that half of all homeowners are struggling to make their mortgage payments. That signals collapse.
While all of this "change" and self-recollection are OK, all I see are channels buying up planners, fountain pens, and stickers and not thinking about the future because the future is now and it's not looking good.
I think this video is geared toward people who want to change. Those who don’t can skip on by. (Frankly, good for them!) Also- I can relate to the whole planner thing. I have bought a few… yeah, no help there. 😅
If this isn’t the content you are looking for you can tell the algorithm that you don’t like it or you don’t want the channel recommended to you.
I grew up in the 1990s and felt the need to constantly change and be better/ happier. Maybe some people want to change their money habits in order to pay their mortgage and need the help of channels like hers. Maybe someone is going back to school because of the terrible economy and wants help with changing habits/ lifestyles. Not everyone has a good support system to help them and rely on the internet for advice.
It’s okay to want to change and it’s okay to not want to change. Life is different for everyone.