Making New Friends in Your 30s and 40s is not easy.
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- Опубліковано 25 чер 2024
- Making new friends in your 30s and 40s can feel really awkward and difficult. A lot of your friends are married, have kids, or have just become boring and want to stay home. If you want to know how to make friends as an adult, this video can help. Here's what I've learned that has helped me make friends and grow my social life.
0:00 Making new friends in your 30s and 40s is harder
1:30 It's not your fault your social life changed, it's part of life
2:20 Be Generative
4:03 Focus on Interests
5:33 Invite, Don't Ask
7:21 Create Triads
9:12 Tying it all together and making new friends
I have learned how to meet people and make friends in my 30s and 40s. I have had times when I had to start over meeting new people in a new country and after a relationship ended. It can be scary if you have to meet new people and you feel like an introvert or don't have good social skills.
#makingfriends #lifeat30 #lifeat40 #socialskills #meetingnewpeople #socialanxiety #adultfriends - Навчання та стиль
Problem is when you’ve basically got no friends. It’s real hard especially even without money … life sucks
I have no friends at 34. It's hard to make friends at this age and in these times. I've been a loner since high school. Would be nice to have a support system and not having to rely solely on myself
It’s definitely something that takes some shifts in your behavior. I agree right now that things are especially challenging with the lockdown. If you focus on activities that interest you and have some social component it definitely takes away the pressure of having to force making friends. I hope that helps a little and keep persisting. We’re here to support you!
Thank you for the advice. I will have to change my mindset and alter my introvert behavior patterns if I want to see a different outcome. I appreciate the content 🙏
@@skillzzz being an introvert can make it feel harder to initiate conversations, that's for sure. That's why I learned to focus on activities that can help you meet people, rather than forcing yourself to try to be more 'social'. Wishing you all the best, my friend!
@@skillzzz I absolutely get how you feel. I want new friends but i can't stand people. I want to meet like minded people but it's so rare these days almost like gold dust.
@@1PeteAFC it's very rare to meet like minded people. I think these online communities exist for people not like me lol I'm not even into social media
Great tips, especially the one to invite to something specific upfront!
Great advice!!! I’m 39 and single with no kids or friends. There are times when I enjoy alone time because I am introverted, however, it would be nice to develop meaningful relationships with others. I definitely need to work on changing my mindset about people because I do have trust issues and can be cynical about life!!! Thanks for the video💛🧡💜
Thanks for sharing your realizations! Yes it can be hard to overcome cynical feelings at times, but there is a lot of great things life can offer when you change your approach/perspective! 😊🙏🏻
Same here.
watching this as a 15 y/o to help my mother
Wishing you and your mother all the best! 😊🙏🏻
I made the wrong choices with friends when I was younger, now I find myself without a single friend at age 36. I have a partner and been blessed with a beautiful daughter, my dog is my best friend. It actually hurts on a deep level. Who would I invite to our wedding? Who’s going to be my best man? I’ve had a shitty week and want to have a beer with a mate? I’ve also noticed my “dickhead” meter is super quick to judge people these days, as soon as someone shows traits I don’t like I cut them off instantly. I know there’s people out there who would be great friends, finding them is the hard part.
If you are behavior like that, you will never have friends in your life. No one is perfect in life, sometimes we need to have love and forgiveness or tolerate for people in life, if someone want to be friend with you but if they say something or do something you don't like and you are cut them off, no surprised to me that you have zero friends in life.
A wise woman once said: When people show you who they are believe them the first time.
It’s normal. It really is. Like Daniel said, it’s not your fault.. it’s just a season of life. I’m going through a similar season myself, only I’m a single man. Trust in yourself and count what your grateful for. People will come and will go, but your relationship with yourself is the most important. Love yourself. Don’t feel sad or angry when you see others laughing with their friends. Just let it be, but also try being a little more open to people, expecting nothing. And above all, give it to the creator. Give it to God. He promised you “you will never be alone”. Rooting for you brother
Invite me to your wedding
@@moonlightfitz getting married in April next year 😬
Just crossed the 30 mark and I am surprised it isn’t just me feeling like this. great content.
I'm turning 50 this year and have no friends. This is GREAT ADVICE. Thank you.
Very great advise!my long time best friend doesn't seem to care anymore,I guess I have do some homework and find a new good friend
Yes it can be hard when friends grow apart. You will find new people to connect with you as you grow and put yourself out into the world! 😊
I am going through the same experience. My friend and I have gotten older and parted ways due toys choosing different paths. No hard feelings, just grown apart
I have no friends any more at age 32 after my best friend passed away kind of became a loner.
So sorry to hear that! I have also lost dear friends in the past and it's incredibly hard to handle. There are many wonderful people in the world who you can connect with, so try to stay open to sharing your life with others. Wishing you all the best my friend 🙏🏻
I know how you feel. My best friend pasted away in 2017. I've tried to find new friends but no one really wants to. So it's just me and my cat for the most part and my five year old girl every other weekend
That's kind of understandable actually, losing a Best Friend to death at such a young age is kind of surreal so I would be hesitant to charge back out there and find/make a new BFF. Take Your time but eventually You should try to make some Friends even if they're more casual ones than really close ones.
I know it’s an old comment, but I’m so sorry for your loss.
Daniel, why is it that people would rather be negative than positive with others??! 😟😢. This is what I've realized being almost in my 40's!
I think all four tips are great, but the first one hit home. Being generative is something that truly defined my 20s and it's the one thing that has been absent in my 30s. From now on, I'll try to make things happen again. The video was quite useful, Daniel. Thank you!
Thanks for being straight up with good information. Great tips. Thank you.
I'm 30 and don't have one friend because I cut all my old ones off their toxic they weren't really friends so now I have trust issues and depression but trying to overcome it. I don't do social media as well
Thanks for the video. I'm 50 with no real friends. I can spend many hours alone without caring that much but I'm lonely. It can be hard to make conversation; I think that's an introvert thing. The bit about interests was eye-opening. I'd always just thought about the cliched, "let's go for a coffee" type of thing. The dilemma is finding common interests with people I don't know all that well.
Totally get you Shane I feel exactly the same...shit Innit mate. I hope you sort it out matey. X jase
I have that same problem!!! I love being an introvert, but it’s really hard to meet people especially when it’s starts off with small talk and you know introverts hate that crap😂😂😂
Nothing is wrong with you. Give it to the creator. Give it to God. There’s all kinds of different seasons. I’m going through one myself, now, as well. I can tell you that if you nourish the most important thing, Hope, you will never fail.
Hello am 47 from India...
I'm 33 recently separated but on the way to a divorce. Lost my best friend in 2017 due to a seizure. Right now it's just me and my cat and 5 year old daughter every other weekend. I'm trying to make friends but no one wants to hang out. I've tried getting back in the dating scene but no luck either. And over the year when I did have friends I would just get done wrong. So now it's hard for me to trust people
I wish I knew I'm 38 no kids, not married, I'm doomed to be alone with my dog.
Recently divorced .. lost all mutual friends ...
Ahh man, that's tough. Sorry to hear that. A lot of people don't realize that in divorce one of the people usually lose most of their social circle as well. I know you will find new people in time, it's a big opportunity also to reinvent. Hang in there my friend 🙏🏻
It's hard to leave a loving person, but frds and society will don't understand you for some time.. Start a new life...
Then they weren't true friends to begin with. It's fine good riddance!
People get so competitive and judgmental with age, and bragging... seems like it's the new way of escaping your miserable life. I had to cut off some people. Or people simply forget you. Why that?! I have no kids, not married, I don't even see the point. Most of people after 30 are only focused on kids activities which is to me very annoying... seems like they don't want to have fun anymore, let it go... Also for me to go out in a bar simply and being surrounded by younger prettier people kind of depresses me... I don't look particularly young. I think you're right, the focus should be on sharing an activity together not talking about how much you make, how much you pay or paid for this and that etc... who cares? when you see friends and you go home bored this is not a good sign. We should allow ourselves to be lighter and more carefree, just like you said I realize I am not generative at all lol. Since I work from home for years and worry a lot, I became very isolated... I need to do my homework !
Well, I’m glad my ideas could give you some perspective. Wishing you the best as you focus more on interests and become more generative! 🙏🏻
I totally understand why people with small kids mostly focus on kids activities, because well they might want to spend their kids-free time in solitude, so it's nothing they do with friends. However, bragging I usually associate with adolescents and newly rich people, my friends in their 30s/40s don't do this. Of course some people who like bikes or cars for example like to talk about these things, which might look like bragging, but is quite normal (for men) tech-talk.
It is great to know that there others going through the same things
I moved a lot as a student and young professional... Now in my mid-30s, as a childfree by choice woman, I find it very difficult to find new friends. Seems like everybody has their head stuck in dirty diapers. I understand that we all now have busy schedules, some because of their jobs, some other because of their kids. However, I have also noticed that parents tend to forget their other interests they had before and, some of them, don't even want them back. Odd :(
Yep it can tough to keep connections with people in different life stages. It may be that your friends will now be more centered around interests, that is what I am finding as I get a little older. 😊
As a parent it becomes very difficult to keep your own hobbies and interest. Your children become your top priority and you take a back seat. If for instance you want to go out with friends than you need to pay for a babysitter or your partner stays home and watches them. If you go out late you pay for it with either a hangover and or screaming kids in the morning. It makes you regret even going out. Sometimes it easier to stay home. It’s a harsh realty of the self sacrifice parents make for their kids. I have very young children so I’m sure as they grow more independence will be regained. The other hand is children are a blessing to have and worth it all
Interesting. I have children and find it harder. At least you can go off and take a trip or be available in ways those with kids cannot. I think you have a leg up. Also, if you have kids you still find that everyone else has their head stuck in diapers or hanging out with their spouses so its not like people with kids are always hanging out with other people with kids. I have found that the connections I have made are from people in their 20s or people in their 60s, 70s and even 80s are open to friendships.
This is a really a helpful video. Maybe for once in my 34 years of living, I'll actually have a friend. (No this isn't an exaggeration, I've spent over 3 decades with absolutely no friends and it has taken a toll on me. I'm 34 but look like I'm in my 50s)
Wishing you the best.
Good luck on your journey. I am also looking to find good and genuine friends
You got this
I feel like I can relate so much, I am kind of in the same position with you right now, I am hoping you the best! I will do my best as well
Thank you for this! Very helpful 🙌
Well, I'm certainly glad this popped up in my YT feed this morning. I appreciate the fresh thinking, in particular, being generative. Before you shared you were part of Toastmasters (an excellent organization, BTW), I was already thinking that you spoke extremely well, on point, without hesitations, hemming and hawing. Well done. Rgds from Canada.
I’m almost 45, single, socially awkward and anxious, less-abled due to pain and fatigue, a true introvert, child-free by choice in a conservative country where the general population is very young as well - I feel so old and odd, and lonely. 😢
Sorry to hear that Denise. I am. It sure if it’s possible but sometimes a change of environment can help you reinvent and find more like minded people. That definitely helped me. Wishing you the best and remember to lean on our community if we can support you! 😊🙏🏻
EXTREMELY Helpful! Thankyou Thankyou
Glad to hear that! Wishing you all the best!
Thank you so much for your video ☺️ your message was so comforting and it gives hope ❤
So glad to hear that it was useful for you!
Thank you. I love your intro. Made me feel better
Glad it helped you Julia! Wishing you all the best 😊🙏🏻
Mayn.... you need to quit thinking you are old at 40, my mother is almost 80, vigorous, smart and active, live in the moment people. You are only as old as you think you are..
That's awesome! Go mom! Yeah I agree, age is just a state of mind. Thanks for sharing, and for the reminder! 🙏🏻
People age differently though and I am actually kind of proud to have earned my stripes hehe.
1. Generative - you stopped being generative and started to become passive and it reduces the amount off ppl you have in your life
2. Focus on interests - we keep trying to focus on social skills instead of our interests. Pick a couple things to focus on like a new hobby or an instrument or activity. Friends are a bi-product
3. Invite, don’t ask. Rather than ask to hang out, invite them to something. “Would you like to come with me, I’m hosting ______ or I’m joining a class for ________”
4. Create a triad. Get together with 2 other ppl that know each other and know you then you can all get together at different times. You have a group of friends rather than a bunch of friends that don’t know each other.
Great synopsis, Thankyou!!
Thank you for sharing this. Very very helpful. Currently struggling.
Glad it helped you my friend! Hang in there and know that better times are coming! 😊🙏🏻
Man, very logical and helpful advise. Thanks dude
You got it! 🙏🏻
Good tips can't wait to start implementing them
Glad to hear that John! Let us know how you go! 🙏🏻
Thanks for doing your videos
You got it my friend! Glad that they are valuable for you 😊🙏🏻
This was a profoundly helpful video. I'm 41 and I really fell off the social bandwagon especially post covid. Thanks for the help! Subscribed!
I'm exactly the same unfortunately.hope your doing ok 😊
I know I’m late to the party and late to this video, but thank you so much for posting this! Very helpful.
You’re welcome Olivia! I’m honestly so humbled that it resonated with so many people. Glad it was insightful for you too! 😊🙏🏻
I relocated to Georgia from NYC and I have been trying to connect for almost 5 years now. There is a culture gap and interests don't generally line up to stimulate conversation. In addition, I spent the last 10 years as a government employee in Finance so relationships outside the workplace was not encouraged. It's really hard despite virtual social spaces that focus on networking
Exceptional video! Very practical tips!
Thank you! Glad it was valuable for you 🙏🏻😊
Your intro was so touching to me.
How you doing
I'm going to be 40 in November. I have a girlfriend, but no other friends in a city I've been living in for almost 3 years. I have a lot of work to do, but videos like this one help. Thank you.
I definitely needed to see a video like this one. I think focusing on activities is truly the way to go and making a real effort to put yourself out there. Much easier said than done but it's very doable.
I have people I enjoy being around when I want to party but I want people I can enjoy while being regular. Now a days people want to come over after 9pm, they have kids, smoke weed, no car no job no place. I’m in my 30s and it’s really a stress to find one person I can travel with go to dinners etc.
helpful. thank you!
Really glad it resonated for you! 🙏🏻
This video gives a little of good advice. 👍
You're dealing with shy people who don't attract people easily. This may help some people however if I had a poker night at my house nobody would come I don't know enough people and the toxic ones would let me down just for spite and control.
been stuck in the world of work, too many positions where "this job is your entire life now".
Most of my old school/college friends have either moved states away or become total loosers.
Work always setup adversarial relationships (character fight to see who survives next round of layoffs).
other participating parents are almost always mothers so it's always awkward being the only dad.
I'm 33 & I'm A Proud Lone Wolf. 🐺 🌙
Go for it my friend! 😊🙏🏻
I always chose my interests to suit my friends at school and after school, now IV sorted my life out and stopped doing things just because other people liked them. Always the music I liked, the things I'm interested in and the things I like to talk about will often leave people with a blank face. Everyone in my trade industry is racist sexist and power hungry, I chose a trade because I wanted to be able to talk with my dad and brother about trade related things, now 7 years in I did everything for the wrong reasons and I'm studying counselling to change that. But it feels like no matter the path I chose I would be around people who could never understand me and I would always have to adjust myself to suit the group. I don't know what's harder, suffering with a smile or receiving pity just for expressing.....
Great 👍 tips.
As an introvert, I have found out that I’m really bad at group conversations, but my super power are one to one conversations. The problem is that this “socializing style” has led me to have disperse friendships that don’t have anything in common between each other. So when I try to make big plans with more people (like a party, a trip, etc) it’s a mess! My friends don’t get along with each other and sometimes even dislike each other. The same has happened to me, when friends try to add me to their social circle, it just feels like I don’t fit in. I think this is because people behave very differently in group situations and show a different side of themselves than while being with just one person. Maybe trying to socialize by forming triads could be a way to address this. Thanks for the tip!
Yes I can totally relate to some of my friends not getting along in groups. They dynamic shifts a lot as you add more people to mix. I really think the idea of triads will work well for your style of connection and friendship! Keep me posted on how it goes! Thanks for sharing!! 😊🙏🏻
Having a group of Friends is the key, much more synergy that way- even if You're really just close friends with one of the people in it and casual with the 3rd+ in the group.
Agreed! Building a community is very important. 😊
great thanks
You got it, my friend! 🙏🏻
I'm in a new town where I don't know anybody. It's difficult to try and push people to go do things when most people don't give me a second look.
Yep it can be tough and it takes time. Hang in there and keep trying to meet people and discover new interests. Over time you will begin to make more connections. 🙏🏻
As someone in my early 20s I get worried about this. I mean, this sort of thing hits home after high school and even college but I get scared of the idea of being alone and not having anyone to talk to. As much as I’d be happy for my current friends, it scares me the idea that they won’t probably see or talk to me once they’re married or have kids. I really don’t want to be in a situation where I’m just alone so I really want to broaden my horizons even at an older age
I'm 23. I see my friends early but it is always awesome seeing them.
Glad that you have a strong connection to them! 😊🙏🏻
Lol... I'm invisible. Looked up how to make friends as an adult and I get 30s-40s, then 60s! In my 50s, I have little in common with Millennials (30s-40s), although we get along. Same with younger Boomers (60s). I can be cool with either, but I'm looking for real friendship. It's even tougher when you move far from your childhood hometown.
Yes I agree it can be hard to find the right group of people. Like I said in the video, focus on your interests and passion. I have good friends who are 25 and 75 - both I connected with because of shared interests. Hang in there! 😊🙏🏻
The best tip I have is to put yourself into situations where new friends can be found. If you aren’t doing that, it won’t happen.
So very true!! 😊🙏🏻
Great advice now to grow a set and attempt these.
Go for it my friend! You will find your people if you keep putting yourself out there :)
When you started crying, I cried. Because I know what it means to live without friends. I was two years from 21 to 23 years only. I saw a friend from time to time, but only 4 times a year. And the bewilderment I felt in those years was horrible. No girl. Stomach health problems, which I still have when I am almost 31 years old, I had enrolled in university but had not passed. I went into depression and anxiety for nearly two years. The year before I had a serious stomach problem, but I still had friends, but they turned out to be bad people, so I decided to drop them. After doing therapy, I went back to college to get a degree and in the meantime I had found a friend and it held up for a couple of years, after that things went downhill. I wish him all the best in the world, but a toxic climate had been created, because people had gotten in the way to cause discord and I hated that. From 28 to 29 I was left alone again. During the lockdown I had the thought of killing myself, luckily I live with my parents, otherwise I don't know if I would be alive. Now I'm thinking of radically changing my very precarious job (I live in Italy) And over time I have made 2 3 friends who I don't see much, because we don't live nearby. Friend, there is always the possibility, rest assured that things will be fine :) A person who had lost hope in life tells you that. I still have a hard time believing in life, for everything that has happened to me, but now maybe I have finally found a girl even if at a distance, but I don't care because I like her a lot. But until I was 28, I had only kissed girls and something more. Then things changed, but you still feel that strong sense of inadequacy, because I'm not the classic macho alpha super extrovert that follows that crazy Jordan Peterson, I'm more introverted and less inclined to have big social groups, I love Soundgarden, Radiohead, Nirvana and Pearl jam, books, nature, writing, reading, playing the guitar, jogging and singing and composing graphics. But I hate this social stigma on men who are more introverted, have mental health difficulties or don't have many friends or aren't rich enough or have health problems. I've never been a leader. It's difficult when you have 31 and are alone
I understand your pain. I hope that one day you’ll find that special person to connect with because it can be lonely with no friends. Good luck to you💕💕💕
@@africanbella28 i am used to stay alone. No problem, is good man. Thx you . I am so tired and sick for my job. I had a lil bit of mobbing. It s disgusting.
try dudes
I moved from my hometown than the girl I wanted to have a life with passed away.. both my parents are gone I'm only 36 and now that I don't drink I find it hard to meet new people I feel disconnected from everyone...I've always been a social outcast people are quick to judge me
In my 38 years of life people are just too judgemental too damn judgemental and not in a good way
Selfish too.
We get more cynical as we age.
I’ve certainly get that way at times. But I think part of not giving into cynicism is to keep finding ways to challenge and reinvent yourself. At least that has worked for me. Wishing you all the best 🙏🏻
@@midsonshort what is reinventing?it kind of sounds like a buzzword now....
People = Judgemental, selfish and negative!
Part of being a friend is practicing mental hygiene by talking positively, avoid gossip, share interesting things about your activities and interests such as books you read, movies, music, trips or charities.
31 and no friends also It seems easier if you stay in a area you were raised in I moved to FL 5 yrs ago didnt know anyone.. its pros and cons to being alone .. some ppl have the opposite issue NEVER ALONE and dependent on others no true connection to self
Thanks for your vid love your videos
I feel you my friend. It’s tough to break free of the norm and start over. But the new friends you will make in time will help you evolve and become who you are meant to be! Hang in there! 👊🏻
Completely agree. I moved to Texas 6 years ago & I don't have any friends here. All my friends are back home.
The problem I have is I keep going back to past friends that I know really aren’t right for me I want a brand new set of friends nobody from my past they must have similar interests not just going out drinking that isn’t for me anymore
Yep I’ve fallen into that trap as well - it’s hard to separate from people who have been part of your life for a long time. I think a part of it is you need to keep growing and doing new things and just have less time available for them. It sounds like a mean thing, but you must grow and evolve, even if they aren’t. 🙏🏻
Subscribed:)
I'm 42 and I don't have friends here anymore bcoz they live far away a d has their own family. I'm single and living with my father.it is lonely sometimes knowing that you have no friends to talk with.
Reply sorry to hear that Liz. I have been there at times in my life as well and it’s very hard. But as I said in the video you have to choose to be generative and be more of a leader and invite others to be part of activities. That has been what has helped me to grow new friendships and connections in my life as I’ve grown older. Hang in there and you will find new relationships! 😊🙏🏻
Inviting stands out here for me.
Thanks Pete, I’m glad that it makes sense for you. How do you think you will use it in your life?
@@midsonshort Perhaps when I cross paths with folks that I will meet at public places. Plus maybe with family members will be resourceful as well.
@@peterojas7490 that's definitely a great way to start! And remember that sharing interests with other people is a great way to bond together. Wishing you the nest my friend!
I’m over all of the virtual meet ups. Where’s the in person stuff
I'm 30. Ever since I got out of the army, it's been hard to make friends and find love. The issue is people my age are married or working. I'm a injured, pstd sticken vet so apparently it means I'm damaged or too old or unrelatable. It's annoying because I'm too much of a downer to others.
Sorry to hear things have been so tough for you. I am sure if you keep trying new interests and activities you will start to find people who share them. Wishing you the best, my friend! 🙏🏻
My advice, to find a girl at least, is bumble dating app, and stop saying you have PTSD. I mean maybe you do, but just don’t bring it up. Go to therapy privately but don’t talk about it to anybody. Unless you really really need help with it. If you’re just dealing with regular occasional PTSD that doesn’t endanger yourself or others, then just keep it to yourself because it’s not going to help you get a girl
Also I recommend you learn PUA. It’ll help with girls. As for friends… used to have them, lost them, it’s tough making them as an adult brohan. You might be outta luck there
Try being 38 and feeling outcasted as well 😢 people are too God Damn judgemental and selfish! It's really cruel.
And 30 is STILL young so..
If anyone would love to have me as a friend , I will be happy to have them.
I am a 39 years old Nigerian and I believe that friendship involves giving what we want to receive from others.
I will offer pure friendship as that is what I desire too.
All of us are your friends here in this community Adaku! 😊🙏🏻
I've also tried meetup. I made my own group. Covid halted progress and I lost contact with my 3 regular attendees. Joined another meetup, nice people, but it was/is about an hour away. Too far to keep traveling for surface level conversation and no real connections. I vibes with one lady at the event 1 week ago. I texted her asking about another event she'd went to. It took her so long (over 12 hrs) to get back with Me that I decided I wouldn't invite her anywhere. I just think that's so rude
Me and all of my friends are close in real life but take FOREVER to respond to each other messages. I wouldn’t drop things with that person because she took over 12 hrs to respond, it happens.
Yea, meetups are not as fun as I feel they should be. I always feel awkward and misfitty😂
Im 19 and feel like Im genuinely living the last year with friends, dont know why. So Im preparing haha
Why are You even watching this?! About 11 Years until You will have this dilemma if ever- haha
I have no one I can call a true “friend” at the moment. I know a bunch of people, and have reached out, but no one ever calls or texts back. Kind of a bummer.
Hang in there Jimmie! It’s a process and now you know you want to build a new social group you can start to do it one person at a time. Focus on being generative and people will begin to join you on adventures! 😊🙏🏻
45 and honestly ive not spoken to my only real freins since i was in my 20s .
My brother can make friends easier at the age of 37 but I on the other hand I cant find a real friend at the age 35 I changed my behavior etc etc and I sometimes listen to what they say but still It doesn't make any difference, most of my past friends are either buisy with life or family.
🎉🎉😊😊
Some good points I haven't heard from others made here.
But it has to be said that the chances are still very low because most guys in 30s/40s are prioritising relationship and career, 90% don't have time or even want new friends.
Not to mention men in general are more closed off and less social to begin with. I haven't had a friend since I left school where real friendships are organically made and I have to say, almost every single person who was willing to be acquainted with me, did so because I served a purpose and when I was no longer required, they would start rejecting invitations.
There are good people out there that do simply enjoy socialising, but they are rare and you need to keep meeting people and hoping to meet the right one.
People usually are married in their 30s with a spouse and children then focus on their own family. Imo, that’s kind of a problem when it comes to people who are single in their 30s with no friends or spouse. I myself would like to find other people in their 30s that aren’t married and have no children but it is actually difficult to find. A lot of people are married and I think im kind of a rare person for not being married at all. I am shy and have a hard time opening up. I don’t think I should make friends with people younger than me that is like in their early 20s. Currently, I work in an environment part-time around many younger people in their early 20s and feel kind of awkward in working on making new friends with them simply because of my age (31F). To me it kind of sucks and I am looking around everyday for people at least two years older than me. This is kind of a problem for me right now that it becomes a pretty stressful task to do. need help, thanks!
M from india
I saw your video first time
It's imagine
I'm Chris I'm 25 all of my friends that I use to have I meet in school I graduated in 2015 after graduation I only kept in contact with one friend but we Lost all contact with each other in 2019 since then I have only really met one good friend I have became very happy and comfortable living the life style I live go to work come home eat sleep on days off work go fishing not taking to anyone but even though I'm happy and comfortable I'm not completely satisfied I would love to meet a few good friends to have cookouts every weekend go to the river with have a few drinks with around a fire in the back yard
It’s tough my friend - it seems like you have some good interests. Maybe check out some meetup groups that match what you want to do. Or if you can’t find one, you can always start one! 😊🙏🏻
Toastmasters I need to go back
It’s a great way to grow and develop yourself and also expand your network of self actualizing people! 😊🙏🏻
Benefits of not having friends
1. Can move at your own pace and do things on your time instead of being tied down with other people's schedule. You get to determine at what time you see the movie and which theatre you go. If you wanna stay in the mall for 1 hour, you can do that instead of compromising with friends and leaving after 30 minutes.
2. Don't have to deal with other people's negative energy. Tell your so called friends your future plans and they give you a million reasons why you won't make it. No matter what good things you plan on accomplishing, people like giving all kinds of negative feedback.
3. Don't have to worry about somebody trying to control almost every aspect of your life. People have a hard time living and let live. They wanna control what you think, how you think, telling you who to vote for, debating with you if you don't see things they're way
4. Your friends problems become your problems. David got thrown out the house by his wife and now he's calling you asking you can he sleep on your couch.
5. People are bipolar. Today they're in a good mood but tomorrow they wanna be mean and combative with passive agressive behavior.
6. Dealing with people and the bs that comes along with them is too much work. It's like pulling teeth.
7. Why ruin you peace with friends
This is an interesting perspective!
If you can keep up yourself good (emotionally, physically and mentally) without any support system on yourside. Being loner is an attractive choice.
I don’t know about this. No matter how ok you are for a lengthy period , friends will always come handy. 💯 %
@@monetteathlete7078 Not everybody can just magically get a partner to hang out with. There are plenty who had to break up with their friends due to them being toxic. There are people who walks out on their group because they were never invited to anything. So it needs to also depend if you get accepted. Not everybody gets accepted that easily. Those who don't get accepted have no choice but to deal with solitude life.
Me too but im 17
How do I develop new interests when it kinda feels like nothing brings me joy anymore...?
That’s a good question! I’d start with something simple that makes you feel accomplished. Like maybe reading a chapter of a book or visiting a new place locally. These small actions will start to increase your desire for novelty. Then maybe set yourself a one-month of some type that feels very achievable. This is how I usually get myself out of a rut and start to grow my interests back. Hope that helps my friend 😊🙏🏻
@@midsonshort Thank you. I'll try my best. Going through some tough times right now, and feel very alone. Hopefully I'll get out of this, stronger and happier.
@@smk6736 Hang in there, my friend! Our community is here to support you! 🙏🏻🤗
No thanks. The older I get, the more I despise grown ups. I’m 40 so I have that entitlement.
Haha, fair enough! 😅
We all need someone though. It's all well and good having that attitude towards people however we all crave meeting like minded people. I'm 33 and i crave good company. Interesting company.
@@1PeteAFC That’s why Dogs need Homes. I have one. I can honestly say I would save a Dog in a House Fire before I would a Human.
I'm looking for a club to join. I'm not sure which one to choose.
Toastmasters was an excellent way for me to meet new like minded people. 😊🙏🏻
@@midsonshort I'm not interested in public speaking. I was thinking of the Rotary Club or Kiwanis.
I'm just out of a long term relationship and feeling lonely friends wise. I've one close friend left buy he's married the other handful I'd be stretching it to call them mates now. Obviously while in my own relationship they moved on themselves. I've tired to pick up where I left off but life has moved on. Its hard and depressing and I have being wallowing is self pity which won't help me either. I'm also extremely introverted. Are you better off with one good friend then 5 wasters?
That's a tough situation, but it can mean it's time to start branching out more. Your old friends will always be friends, but exploring new interests and meeting new people will definitely freshen up your life and help you to move on. I'd say in the early stages of making new friends, you're better with several new people who you can get to know and then slowly deepen those connections over time. Wishing you all the best!
What if we don't know people?
I don’t have any friends. I’m in Houston Texas
That’s a tough situation. Have you thought about moving somewhere new or trying some new activities or hobbies? Sometimes that will spark new connections with people 😊
@@midsonshort I move from Louisiana to Houston
Also I been to HOUSTON since 2012 . But I’m thinking about relocating to Florida
Hi 😊 i had a great best friend untill i found out she was sleeping with my husband 😢 now i dont trust anyone so finding it hard to make friends
Sorry to hear that! You will find new people in time, but it can be very hard to trust after such a difficult experience. Sending hugs to you. 😊🤗
😢😢
Anybody from south australia, im going to explore an abandoned wildlife complex next week if anybody would like to tag along for the thrill 😁
I want someone to validate me. But hey, I guess that's a very tall order these days. 😟
-37/f/us
No kids not married live in the country and I have no interests lol. I lost motivation
Wanna be friends?
Disclaimer : a friendship can end by one’s fault yes!
People can demand their relationship and interpersonal connection by their behaviour and atitudes ! So the statement at the beginning of this video is quite misleading and take out any responsibility people need to have to cultivate and keep people in their lives
I'm not good at making .
Keep at it! It’s a skill that takes time and patience to develop!
I get alone with people older than me than people my age
My main problem is three of my friends are married and it's basically seems like they forgot about me like they never call me we barely Hangout and if we do is like once every two months or something .
I'm not even dating right now by choice , I'm focusing on building up two businesses that I started , buying a new car and paying off probation.
I don't want the distraction of a girlfriend right now and it's funny 1 my friends fat wives thinks I'm a loser because of that.
I don't define success by whether or not I'm constantly with some female.
I'm chasing real success not women and I'm definitely not going to just settle down with some fat bitch and be fucking poor forever fuck that shit I got goals.
The fourth friend I have he's alright but he doesn't have a vehicle and neither do I so we can't really hang out because we live a bit far away from each other.
Sounds like you are clear on what you want. That’s what is most important. You have to live your life in your own way, and it sounds like you’re doing just that.
same here my friends got married and disappeared lol
@@Andrembramwell do you live near Savannah Georgia do you like shark fishing and moonshine?
I’m a Christian and it’s hard to have friends I would love to have friends but people are so mean to me because of my faith. I’m 32 and alone. I pray for friends
Where you from buddy?
@@jasonbarron3047 hi I’m from Ohio and my name is Mandy
@@MandyGood hi many, I'm sorry I thought you was a guy hahaha! Ohio wow what a beautiful part of the world u live in. I'm in the United Kingdom in a big city called leeds. What do you do for work mandy?
@@jasonbarron3047 oh wow England! How amazing. I am a nursing assistant
@@MandyGood wow cool job you have mandy, I'm a head chef of a restraint in a busy hotel. Long hours long weeks totally destroyed any social life I once had and its impossible to make friends because of the shifts I work. I have work friends but they are not the same and I don't want to spend my time socialising with them besides most are younger than I am. I dunno its crazy how lonely I feel when i come home to my flat alone and friendless on a night or in the early hours it would be nice just to offload and talk to someone have a drink and a laugh and away from the routine that has become my dull life. How's things for you?
As a member of the LGBT community...Triad has a very different meaning 😂
I stopped drinking. Have zero friend, realize may have been an asshole so I have no idea how when not drunk😊