When a narcissist loses the best thing that ever happened to them | The Narcissists' Code Ep 862

Поділитися
Вставка
  • Опубліковано 27 вер 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 868

  • @Rayney1
    @Rayney1 Рік тому +1233

    They don’t love you, they love what you do for them ya’ll.

  • @petergriffiinbirdistheword
    @petergriffiinbirdistheword Рік тому +760

    When you learn to accept the fact that you never mattered to them, you've won half the battle.

  • @GreeneChakra
    @GreeneChakra Рік тому +722

    Unconditional love with a Narc is Imprisoning yourself.

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  Рік тому +22

      💯

    • @tubesurf17
      @tubesurf17 Рік тому +20

      Church taught me wrong. I rewarded bad behavior. Said sorry 1st . Never got an im sorry.. u r so right . 40 year old man panicking on the way to combat ground..my home. I divorced her. I got all 4 kids.. i just want the best for everyone even her.

    • @Laura-ux6mo
      @Laura-ux6mo Рік тому +1

      so true

    • @YF-ey7uq
      @YF-ey7uq Рік тому +1

      I was ready to do that

    • @toshastavern8191
      @toshastavern8191 Рік тому +20

      My ex narc husband knew all he had to do was ask and he got what he needed time and time again because I did it out of love and I wanted that same thing in return. Unfortunately, I only received breadcrumbs.

  • @selanylov1209
    @selanylov1209 Рік тому +612

    It’s scary to think you could be with a narcissist and not know it , we should post their pictures up on a website with a surgeon general warning 😢

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  Рік тому +27

      😵‍💫

    • @recoveringsoul755
      @recoveringsoul755 Рік тому +61

      Wouldn't that be a great resource?? But they'd post messages that we were crazy.

    • @reddpeech
      @reddpeech Рік тому +16

      😂

    • @haneefahmuhammad3447
      @haneefahmuhammad3447 Рік тому +54

      Pictures along with the manic devaluing text messages .... I HAVE SOOO MANY!!! Sometimes reading them is what helps me stay no contact....

    • @marsha04053
      @marsha04053 Рік тому +6

      I agree

  • @Adribloom
    @Adribloom 11 місяців тому +221

    You do not love a narcissist you love their potential. It was a trauma bond. Cut them off forever.
    There’s no unconditional love for a narcissist that’s self-hate.

  • @angieklouser8582
    @angieklouser8582 11 місяців тому +159

    A Narcissist will treat you worse and be more disrespectful if you take them back again !!!

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  11 місяців тому +10

      🎯🎯🎯

    • @Imgoodthanks-h1u
      @Imgoodthanks-h1u 11 місяців тому

      Really Lee you thought she would better never mind if you saw what i'd know you had to go get there and put that in the rub of a car there's not true brother yes yes not sure I don't know what you mind telling your brother but they're just not true bro you think of what I'm saying but I just learned this nasty session thing and I applaud you brother for going to get you some help because I'm seeing the dark side of this and I applaud you brother for going to get yourself some help now go out bless you

    • @constancejenkins3867
      @constancejenkins3867 8 місяців тому +3

      Facts.. It happened to ME 🤌🏽🤌🏽🤌🏽

    • @normachase7227
      @normachase7227 Місяць тому

      I almost lost my mind living with my ex for 31 yrs I’m happy I divorced him no matter how hard it was leaving.

  • @natrlgrl6472
    @natrlgrl6472 Рік тому +195

    The Narcissist's biggest regret is that they did not totally decimate you.

    • @ahmarri123
      @ahmarri123 11 місяців тому +16

      This is the ONE!!!!! Best comment yet!!!!

    • @navimarlow
      @navimarlow 8 місяців тому +6

      This!!!!

    • @robinjohnson1003
      @robinjohnson1003 8 місяців тому +10

      He wanted to know how I was able to stay positive & overcome the negative experiences 😌 I recognized he had a personality disorder & slowly removed my self until I had the power to cut all ties. I found out he had multiple “options” & actively dating others. I did not confront him about it, I just cut him off. He popped up at my job a few times, I no longer have a set work schedule.

    • @natrlgrl6472
      @natrlgrl6472 8 місяців тому +9

      @robinjohnson1003 Well done in cutting him off. We cannot change what happened to us in the past, but we can hold stronger boundaries in the future.

    • @tinawalton2208
      @tinawalton2208 7 місяців тому +8

      So true! He literally got upset because someone helped me out in a way he COULD have, but chose to watch me struggle instead. He was soooooo mad! 😁

  • @coricalvert8216
    @coricalvert8216 Рік тому +414

    At one point we went to counseling. The councelor wanted to meet with us separately. When I met with the councelor he said, “when did you decide that you have so low self worth that it is acceptable how he is treating you?” I was taken aback. I honestly at that time could not fully wrap my head around it. But he told me what I needed to hear.

    • @iRockwthMJ
      @iRockwthMJ Рік тому +42

      What a great therapist!🙏

    • @sydniruth
      @sydniruth Рік тому +32

      That’s so interesting because our couple’s counselor (whom he chose) asked to meet with us separately and she said almost the same exact thing. I wish I’d listened to her back then. I’m out now, but it took two years after that conversation for me to actually leave

    • @ashleykinder8877
      @ashleykinder8877 Рік тому +9

      Giving a narcissist counseling, from what I've heard from psychologists who have had to counsel narcissists, only makes them more dangerous, easier to hide their nefarious ways and slip under the radar. My advice? Cut All Contact. If you can, of course. I am a chronically and incurable ill 37 yr old woman who absolutely has to rely on and live with my narcissist father, so it's an impossibility for me. I am, however, his favorite person, and infinitely more intelligent than him, so those two facts combined with my knowledge I've accrued from psychologists who specialize in how to deal with narcissists (all free to watch on UA-cam) have empowered me GREATLY. I know the game better than he does. Does he still upset me, make me angry, make me cry? Yes. Do I take it personally? Nope, he's got Issues, with a capital I, that have nothing to do with me or anyone else. Completely unescusable. Plus, my best friends (Mom and my sister) know who he is, but unfortunately more intimately, as they weren't/aren't his favorite. I am. I still love him, he's my daddy, but good God, do I know how effed up he is. Thankfully he's not the worst of the worst of narcissists I've met or else I'd have no love for him at all.

    • @sharong8841
      @sharong8841 Рік тому +14

      Same exact thing for me! I played the recordings that I had made of the horrible verbal and physical abuse I was subjected to, the counselor looked at me and said “You are not here to save this marriage, you are here to validate what has been happening to you. What can I do to help you.”
      My now ex narc of 27 years insisted on counseling because he was SO CERTAIN THAT THE COUNSELOR WOULD SAY THAT I WAS AT FAULT! He took no responsibility for his abusive behavior, but his insistence on counseling backfired. I filed for divorce and left him within a month of this session.

    • @JanelKLauren
      @JanelKLauren Рік тому +12

      I definitely can relate. I was engaged and on my way out the door, ex told me he scheduled therapy for himself bc he knew I wanted him to get help. We went and when I went separately the counselor encouraged me to leave. Especially since he didn’t schedule his individual session like I had. Within two weeks I was gone. It’s been almost two years.

  • @LeandreaFoster
    @LeandreaFoster Рік тому +234

    He lost me for 5 yrs. Then contacted me. I returned it has been the worst roller coaster ride I've ever had for the pass 14 yrs. They do not change. They get more evil and meaner. Now that I know what's wrong with him. I feel free as a bird. I repeat THEY DO NOT CHANGE. THEIR IS NO LOVE APPRECIATION LOYALTY OR ROMANCE WITH NARCISSIST.

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  Рік тому +5

      😫😞

    • @kellithomas9080
      @kellithomas9080 Рік тому +26

      You are so right!! They don’t change at all! They come back to destroy you and they portray a changed version of themselves, but give it time. You’ll see those same patterns and even worse!!

    • @shawandaswayzer2161
      @shawandaswayzer2161 Рік тому

      If they come back, it will be to get even with your ass.

    • @christinam8678
      @christinam8678 Рік тому +11

      So true !!! Slowly but surely the old habits are still there. They come back with a vengeance

    • @theliterarytarot
      @theliterarytarot 8 місяців тому +2

      Yup.

  • @louiseelliott6404
    @louiseelliott6404 10 місяців тому +92

    Their loss. I read the other day someone said “they lost a diamond while playing with stones”. I’m no contact. No access. Access denied. Game over.

    • @springfauna1465
      @springfauna1465 3 місяці тому +1

      Same!! All of it!!!

    • @louiseelliott6404
      @louiseelliott6404 3 місяці тому

      Staying in our power every day 💪

    • @theotherwise3102
      @theotherwise3102 3 місяці тому +1

      @@louiseelliott6404
      SAME HERE - Praise GOD! 🙌🏽🙏🏽💫💫💫

  • @jenlu4447
    @jenlu4447 Рік тому +331

    It’s been 3 weeks since I blocked my ex narc. These videos are keeping me strong in letting him go. I know it will never get better. Each time I forgave and took him back, he would end up always hurting me worse. Be strong and know your worth ❤

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  Рік тому +27

      Protect your peace ✌️

    • @tmichele8922
      @tmichele8922 Рік тому +6

      Same here.

    • @kimc5379
      @kimc5379 Рік тому +5

      Same here❤

    • @Monkeymind360
      @Monkeymind360 Рік тому +7

      I’m in the same boat. 3 weeks.

    • @rosestewart50
      @rosestewart50 Рік тому +13

      Me too kept taking him back and it was worse I had to cut him off 3 weeks today we were together 13 yrs till we split last yrs after getting fed up with the cheating

  • @ginawillis4
    @ginawillis4 Рік тому +250

    Also, he DOES know I'm the best person that has ever happened to him. He told me during his times of weakness and I believe him because I know it's absolutely true. Too bad for him though, because I made it crystal clear when I kicked him to the curb that I am happy on my own. ❤

    • @Elysion404
      @Elysion404 Рік тому +97

      Those very rare vulnerable moments are the worst because you get to see the person they might have been if the narcissistic personality disorder never happened. Too bad they get angry and punish you for making them feel that way directly after.

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  Рік тому +20

      💯🙌🏾

    • @rambultruesdell3412
      @rambultruesdell3412 Рік тому +11

      Truth... but not worth the personal sacrifice.

    • @recoveringsoul755
      @recoveringsoul755 Рік тому +33

      ​@@Elysion404like an alcoholic moment of clarity. And gone as quickly as it apoeared

    • @Elysion404
      @Elysion404 Рік тому

      @@recoveringsoul755 Yeah, it's both sad and frustrating.

  • @DG86-2
    @DG86-2 Рік тому +117

    True, they will regret only the fact they CAN'T continue to abuse you! My ex husband knows I don't give a damn about him and he CAN'T take it! Wants to get back with me so he can triangulate, manipulate and gas light me. Those days are OVER 💯 and I am happily contently single for 4 years now 🙌🏽

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  Рік тому +2

      🙌🏾🙌🏾💯

    • @kellithomas9080
      @kellithomas9080 Рік тому +13

      Good for you! Crazy thing is, If you were to take him back, he would act a COMPLETE fool and really try to destroy you! They are sick creatures. My ex would try so hard to get me back! I found myself in the exact same situation over and over and over and over! I had to pause and really get to the bottom of my own insecurities. Realized I had a lot of childhood trauma and this became normal to me based on my upbringing. I can see it for exactly what it is now. I see him for the shallow person he is. It’s all about winning and conquering. The more I rejected him, the harder he would come at me. Then turn around and do the same thing again!!! So glad that’s over and done with.

    • @DG86-2
      @DG86-2 Рік тому

      @@kellithomas9080 He would drag me if I were to ever take him back 💯😂, that's OUT! I went through the SAME cycle you are describing with your ex for 20 years 🤦🏽‍♀️ thinking that his heavy pursuit of me was because he truely felt remorseful and loved me that much that he would change 😂😂 WRONG, each time it got worse! The man had a child and another on the way by 2 different women while I too was pregnant and we were married LOL! That was the FINAL straw for me! I know he only wants to get back with me so he can get me caught up n mentally abuse me some more and throw his kids and BM's and other women in my face every chance he gets smh! My issues stemed from childhood trauma as well and although I am my worst critic at times I know my worth and nobody could ever play with me again 💯💜

  • @tirsamazariegos4867
    @tirsamazariegos4867 10 місяців тому +41

    They can only change if they touch rock bottom and acknowledge they are sick. And only God can transform.

    • @springfauna1465
      @springfauna1465 3 місяці тому +3

      And that would be a modern day miracle!!!

  • @majorsolutionsllc
    @majorsolutionsllc Рік тому +133

    "Narcissists regret losing ACCESS to you. Not what they have done to you...not how they treated you....not what they put you through."🔥🔥🔥That wraps it up right there. If you really internalize this sentence....you can really understand the disorder. WE can look introspectively without shame...they cannot. The emotional connection isn't there anyway....so why would there be regrets with the exception of CONTROL and ACCESS? Wow!💥

  • @cazjay017
    @cazjay017 Рік тому +119

    Losing their access to supply/control - the ego is so big they cannot express any vulnerabilities. Stalking/monitoring is what I experienced. On 🎯.

  • @TheVioletMagic29
    @TheVioletMagic29 Рік тому +36

    He didn't come back, he knew I saw the truth. He couldn't be bothered to try and manipulate me anymore, too much effort for him. I'm sure he misses the supply but he is not willing to work on himself or the connection. He was cold and didn't show emotions, trying to make me look crazy when he drove me to breaking point.

  • @danielapatino8257
    @danielapatino8257 Рік тому +37

    I cried and suffered and lost myself over someone who was manipulating me into making me think that they loved me when they didn’t :(
    Why play people like this

    • @kellithomas9080
      @kellithomas9080 10 місяців тому +3

      I’m sorry that happened to you. 🥺

    • @rhondaneal9950
      @rhondaneal9950 7 місяців тому +5

      Me too and I’m crying now because they tricked me and courted me when I wasn’t looking for love and said I love you but actions didn’t show silent treated me for no reason 😢

  • @leoluv822
    @leoluv822 Рік тому +74

    Grade A supply here. I spoke to her tonight after a couple of weeks of no contact. She cried and told me she regretted cheating and hurting me. She said she recognizes how her actions caused her to lose her family and that she lost everything and it wasn’t worth it. I pressed her on if there were other times she cheated. She finally admitted she cheated last year, too. 😢 I feel so hurt. I just can’t understand how someone can cheat and then come home. And act like everything is fine. We went on a big vacation later last year together which I organized. The feeling of betrayal is so intense. We were together 10 years, married for the past 7. Now she says she’s getting “help”, she’s going to go to therapy asap, and she has been trying to get in my good graces little by little. I don’t believe a word she says anymore and it hurts to hear the words I wish were true. Watching your videos helps me to remember who she really is.

    • @Stardustpal25
      @Stardustpal25 Рік тому +8

      I'm sorry for your heart break. Cheating is The End Deal breaker in my book. Id be forever alert for next time. I'm not Jesus. 🙏🩷

    • @kellithomas9080
      @kellithomas9080 Рік тому +16

      Please don’t ever take her back. Let her suffer in her own misery.

    • @jiussybaby3180
      @jiussybaby3180 Рік тому +16

      Cheating and crying when you caught them is there trick to melt your heart,they can never change,unless u try therapy.

    • @teesahurt2074
      @teesahurt2074 11 місяців тому +10

      SHE HAS NOT CHANGED. Therapy will take years. Don’t be fooled. Keep moving forward.

    • @Keva-jp8kc
      @Keva-jp8kc 9 місяців тому +1

      Stay focused, in you and your healing. 😊

  • @debral9651
    @debral9651 Рік тому +276

    The saddest thing is that most do every thing possible to make sure that supply has no choice but to give up on them. Its self sabotage

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  Рік тому +16

      😞🥺

    • @irinaivanovic9792
      @irinaivanovic9792 Рік тому +14

      Exactly. 😕😞

    • @Chelsea-552
      @Chelsea-552 Рік тому +12

      Truth

    • @XquisiteVx
      @XquisiteVx 11 місяців тому +33

      you nailed it. Before and even after I left, self-sabotage was how I described that messy ass monster's behaviour. I absolutely gave up by the end of it. What's the fucking point with assholes like that. They're always miserable no matter what you do.

    • @ShannonBeatty-eq9mm
      @ShannonBeatty-eq9mm 11 місяців тому +10

      So sad but so true.

  • @cicichambers3887
    @cicichambers3887 Рік тому +62

    All love should be conditional. You should never stay in the situation where you are giving and someone's treating you like shit.

    • @ShannonBeatty-eq9mm
      @ShannonBeatty-eq9mm 11 місяців тому +4

      100!!

    • @BillyLintzenich-wf7sk
      @BillyLintzenich-wf7sk 9 місяців тому

      I kept allowing to excuse her treating me like dirt most of 2023 and now i wish i hadnt done the no contact for 5 weeks starting sept. She got her a new supply and she sounds very happy yet i am miserable. I'm even thinking now that maybe i became a narc because of her.

  • @dianaschramer5065
    @dianaschramer5065 Рік тому +168

    I applaud your recovery and so appreciate your service, Lee. Thank you so much.

  • @Saylerk9
    @Saylerk9 Рік тому +36

    Access = ways they use you-money, sex, favors...etc etc

  • @sabrinapetersen5358
    @sabrinapetersen5358 10 місяців тому +20

    To a narcissist you are nothing more than a supply nothing more!

    • @tinkerbellUK
      @tinkerbellUK 26 днів тому

      Yep no emotions for you, all about them

  • @JJTenby
    @JJTenby 3 дні тому +2

    You’re a breathing, walking, talking encyclopaedia of narcissistic education. Thank you so much for taking the time to share and to teach the world …

  • @carriejones4230
    @carriejones4230 Рік тому +16

    At this point, i don't care if he will regret losing me. I dont care if he has/will replace me. My leaving is for my own health and safety. He already has weaponized his family's money against me. Im taking extra steps, at great expense, to make sure that im ok when i finally cut him off.

  • @KingaBee222
    @KingaBee222 Рік тому +81

    Lee, all my respect for working on yourself and sharing with others.
    I had two npd exes. One refused going to therapy after losing me, committed suicide, may he rest in peace. The other one, God knows what he is up to...
    I pray that everybody struggling accepts and gets help.

    • @swedishgirl2506
      @swedishgirl2506 28 днів тому +1

      wow, that's horrible! It's proof they're depressed beyond any help if they refuse it. so sorry you had to deal with that.

    • @KingaBee222
      @KingaBee222 27 днів тому

      @@swedishgirl2506 thank you

  • @ashleys_insights
    @ashleys_insights 11 місяців тому +28

    I am proof of everything he’s said. I left me ex several times cutting off contact and he always regretted it. This last time he came back, I really thought he was gonna be better and our relationship got deeper than ever and we even lived together…but it STILL ended the same 3 years later. Y’all, people can regret not having you but like he said, that doesn’t mean they’ll still do better by you.

  • @Sianjasmine
    @Sianjasmine 10 місяців тому +12

    The reason you are so miserable by the time you leave is because you already know you don't matter. You know they don't care it's clear, because you wouldn't be a shell of your previous self. You care about someone you support them to grow. Not suck the life out of them then say alll the issues are you. Anyone self reflective will believe that for so long. I couldn't understand why I had never been like this before but I genuinely was convinced I was chaotic and insane as a person. Don't get me wrong, I want out, I want to heal and have the relationship that grows etc. But anyone would be lying saying they don't care when you realise you never mattered. You will survive it off course. But it hurts because your feelings were real despite theirs. ❤

  • @Rayney1
    @Rayney1 Рік тому +22

    We never truly mattered to them

  • @dinahbriggs5190
    @dinahbriggs5190 Рік тому +9

    NARCS DO NOT CHANGE, EVER, NEVER😅

  • @ginawillis4
    @ginawillis4 Рік тому +56

    They "lack the ability to treat you well". Ugh! That is the ONE thing I asked of him on several occasions. He always said he'd treat me right but never did.
    And yes, the ego was through the roof!!!! And yet, he was super insecure. NPD sure is a roller coaster. 😢

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  Рік тому +4

      🙏 power up

    • @christinad6650
      @christinad6650 Рік тому

      Yea I couldn’t understand that either, he always said my ego was too big which huh? Lol I can be confident, but I don’t have no ego that big to where I can’t apologize or take accountability. Yet he’s insecure and has very low self esteem.

  • @kareneisenbraun8908
    @kareneisenbraun8908 6 місяців тому +9

    When you said , "You just want to matter", that is EXACTLY what I have been saying. I want to matter to the one person who cares about no one. It will never happen. Ill get there. I will heal.

  • @kathrynaddante3328
    @kathrynaddante3328 Рік тому +23

    That’s really sad. I think that sometimes people are definitely trauma bonded and confused about what love is for them but I also believe that some people (like myself) know what love is and even though we know the person is not a healthy partner for us we still have love for them and hope that they can heal and not be the worst version of themselves when we see past all the trauma in them and we know they could be much happier (genuinely)… it’s a shame that people become adults who abuse others, especially adults who abuse people who love them so much. It’s terrible for the victims of narcissistic abuse but we can heal and move on and the narcissist has to live with themselves forever, if they don’t work on themselves, what a horrible life to live being superficial and fake nice, and always having to hide your truth. That’s no way to live.

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  Рік тому +1

      😫😫

    • @fibrefinger
      @fibrefinger Рік тому +2

      Well said. I really loved my ex despite the hard times. I feel sad for him being so deeply broken.

  • @juicysmith38235
    @juicysmith38235 Рік тому +37

    You are one strong man to look in the mirror & admit being a narcissist. Thank you sir for spreading this insight, God bless 🙏🙏🙏

  • @susanjeffay3851
    @susanjeffay3851 Рік тому +17

    Cut off in traffic yesterday and the words out of my mouth were" What's going on beautiful people?" instead of cussing them out! So I guess listening to your videos have done more than just help me heal!😆

  • @halesahiner209
    @halesahiner209 5 місяців тому +4

    I told him yesterday there is nothing holding me to you and i rather choose to be alone and happy and replied: this breaks my heart.
    😂 i was about to ask: do you even have one?

  • @JaaelAmbroise
    @JaaelAmbroise Рік тому +20

    I just married a NARC, lucky for me I found out before he had a chance for him to move in with me. Secretely I am going to get a divorce and moved on.I wasn't sure if he was a NARC or not but luckily through all these videos I have been listening to, and his behavior, I realized that he's a NARC. Thank you God for sparing me because it is still very early in my relationship.

    • @LaLaTheGoddess
      @LaLaTheGoddess 11 місяців тому +5

      Don’t let him know you know.

    • @ADORABEL25
      @ADORABEL25 6 місяців тому

      It could be Asperger’s to a lot of women think they are with a narc but their partner is autistic ( same abuse )

  • @safaalkhatib1768
    @safaalkhatib1768 Рік тому +13

    i was the perfect supply. i was 20 he was 23. i was fresh, never been in a relationship and naïve. i dedicated myself to him. i nearly worshipped him. he was never faithful in our 5 year marriage and in the end i made one move and he blames our separation on the one move i made because of the years of hurt he caused me. it may take some time but eventually he’ll regret losing me and his 3 boys. he’s acting like he’s moving on but i know he’ll never be as happy with whoever he finds and whatever he’s doing. i know for a fact i was the best thing he could have ever had.

  • @sherryc.1673
    @sherryc.1673 Рік тому +12

    They won't tell you, but they will continue to talk about you, or may hoover years later.

  • @Dee-uy3tx
    @Dee-uy3tx 11 місяців тому +10

    My Narc got tired of me confronting him on his lies😅😅😅😅😅😅😅they hate that so hard😅😅😅😅😅🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭

    • @tevaristorres8535
      @tevaristorres8535 2 місяці тому

      😂 I be wearing my mama out like you got to go or grow sis! We don’t do ridiculous and petty here

  • @lotuscombs333
    @lotuscombs333 9 місяців тому +9

    I love when you said this is not a sign if you want to go back.... I LOVE IT. that was a push and confirmation to continue to move forward

  • @kimmartin9700
    @kimmartin9700 Рік тому +5

    Shut it down!!! I am so much happier now that I know I was raised with NPDs which led me to the same type of men. The last ex saw me earlier this year looking good in the club, and although he never came to my table, he finally tapped me on my shoulder while I was dancing to say hi. I acknowledged him, and swung my ponytail right around and kept dancing as I cracked up laughing!! He really hurt my heart.... never again. He will never change because he doesn't think its him. Ha!

  • @HighLevelSpiritualGame
    @HighLevelSpiritualGame Рік тому +18

    Narcissist Don’t Have GOD in Their Heart

    • @melissalopez9607
      @melissalopez9607 8 місяців тому +3

      But… CLAIM they do!

    • @tammyleachman1850
      @tammyleachman1850 2 місяці тому +1

      @HighLevelSpiritualGame I know because I married a narcissistic pastor. He left, but before he left, I almost died physically, emotionally, and spiritual.

  • @angelinataylor7920
    @angelinataylor7920 Рік тому +13

    Took me 22 years to realize what exactly I was dealing with and how to call it! At his full blown NARC mode. These videos are a God send and an amazing source of therapy! Thank you!

  • @michignamymichigan
    @michignamymichigan Рік тому +6

    Never there when you need them in any way, but they have full control of you.

  • @1111spiritualone
    @1111spiritualone Рік тому +6

    they don’t care they always find better meaning others who are successful, they move on and so should you.I dealt with a narc who was very entitled and was use to successful women (bragged about it) so they don’t care. mine doesn’t think I know the “true” discard reason. they think they are smarter than you and you won’t catch them. Let that ish go and find someone who appreciates you. they will forever be dissatisfied after the love bombing stage.

  • @shatyraboyd
    @shatyraboyd Рік тому +11

    I been gone away from my ex husband 1 yer now and I’m so happy I’m FREE❤❤❤❤ and it feels soooo good!!!

  • @aiviewsandnews
    @aiviewsandnews Рік тому +9

    They become very stalkery. They build a supply bear and become very stalkering. My grandmother said it's a poor rat that only has one hole to crawl out of make sure you have an exit strategy going into the rathole.

  • @kandimckinney-od2qw
    @kandimckinney-od2qw Рік тому +17

    My husband use to be a narcissist but God answered my prayers and healed him 🙏😁

    • @jennylynfujioka
      @jennylynfujioka 11 місяців тому

      Really??Good for you’ll

    • @teesahurt2074
      @teesahurt2074 11 місяців тому

      How is he healed. Would you explain a little more.

    • @ryanmccarthy9512
      @ryanmccarthy9512 8 місяців тому

      he manipulates them more smoothly! @@teesahurt2074

    • @sadiamufti8890
      @sadiamufti8890 8 місяців тому +1

      Really? Of course Allah ( SWT)can do anything. You are truly blessed then.

    • @ADORABEL25
      @ADORABEL25 6 місяців тому +3

      I wonder how long he can put up the mask

  • @InvisibleBorderline
    @InvisibleBorderline Рік тому +15

    I’m sure mine hates me because I outed him to his local community and I tarnished his greater public image.
    I’m sure I’m the root of all his problems.
    I’m the only girlfriend he’s ever had who ISNT a drug addict.
    I refused to become combative with him.
    I just dissociated and packed my stuff and left. No contact almost 6 months.

  • @freshh_toast
    @freshh_toast Рік тому +6

    That stalking & monitoring is so real. I blocked on everything and they still kept tabs, reaching out everyday.

  • @rosethorne2831
    @rosethorne2831 19 днів тому

    Leaving a relationship of almost 7 years after it became clear that they love what I offer them, but they don't respect me or my boundaries or choices, and much more that I realized was toxic. I wanted to hear someone who actually knows what it's like on the opposite side, not just the 'supply' perspective. This helped me so much and I loved the way this was presented. Thank you for your time and attention to this topic and promoting awareness!

  • @RAVENMoonTarot
    @RAVENMoonTarot Рік тому +20

    A big congrats to you btw! You realized it, you took accountability ❤

  • @kelg.7481
    @kelg.7481 Рік тому +4

    13 years an emotional slave to my Narcissistic husband, now ex. Thank God I made it out! To God be the glory

  • @mississippiatheistette8769
    @mississippiatheistette8769 3 місяці тому +1

    its always a very big sign to me that someone might be a narc when they start talking about how someone matters to them but they only mention material or physical things that are valuable to them. Even when you see one someone like Lee, who is trying to work on themselves, there is still this very materialistic aspect to it. Its's like the emotional qualities or character of a person are simply non existent... its very interesting

  • @robinchilds7492
    @robinchilds7492 10 місяців тому +6

    All I ever wanted from him was a little affection. Don't tell me you love me if you can't show me.
    When he ended the relationship and I calmly walked away he slammed the door behind me.

  • @karlippo
    @karlippo Рік тому +5

    He said it a few times over the year “I didnt treat you right” and you dont deserve that.
    And than he said but you didnt say No, right? Or I know I hurt people with my words and behaviour “
    So at some point I realised he Knows allright
    He just doesn’t give a 💩 nor does he change.

  • @aaliyahjay6840
    @aaliyahjay6840 Рік тому +9

    I believe narcissist can be delivered. It takes deliverance!!! An act of God.

  • @LeandreaFoster
    @LeandreaFoster Рік тому +8

    You really speak truth! I know my husband has mental issues. He is a malignant narcissist. I chk every box on. Now he's doing this exact thing. Calling and acting like nothing happen. My brother asked me an important question. He asked "What I'm I getting out of a conversation with him"? He needs a fix and I'm gone for good, divorce soon to follow. But thank you for this much needed life saving info. 30 yrs later and I'm moving on. I didn't not respond to his last call and will not respond to anymore. And I feel a sign of relief.

  • @paulasmall5113
    @paulasmall5113 Рік тому +4

    They regret not being able to leave you a dried up sponge.

  • @EsraaElmubark
    @EsraaElmubark 4 дні тому

    I hope the awareness you are spreading about it make you forgive yourself and live in peace mind and heart ,wish you all the best and you are lucky and fortunate to face it ...

  • @urbanunltd7149
    @urbanunltd7149 Рік тому +6

    This is so hard to deal with... my husband is a NARCISSIST and it really kills me. I had to block him at every turn just to get him to understand to STOP N GO GET THE HELP HE NEEDS... he has yet to do this. He forced my hand to leave. This is very very hard... I haven't filed divorce papers because I'm hoping things will change but with this video... I'm assuming he will never. It's just hard and it hurts. You can't love a person to sanity. You can't love so that they can give it back... you have to love from a distance... n that's what hurts. No i don't think anything will change... because it hasn't happened. I'm just giving myself time to heal... it's just crazy to love a person and all the while they don't give a dayum about you. Just a hard pill to swallow.👑💋

  • @hopehoward2948
    @hopehoward2948 11 місяців тому +4

    Thank you so much. I am dealing with a 33 yr marriage to a Narc. He served me with divorce papers out of the blue. The hurt is awful😢

    • @sadiamufti8890
      @sadiamufti8890 8 місяців тому

      I feel for you.😢 May Allah ( SWT) make it easier for you.

  • @nicholef3648
    @nicholef3648 10 місяців тому +6

    I just came across your page as i am learning more about Narcissists! I respect that you are bettering yourself! I wondered why I surrounded myself all my life with toxic people. And I realize that my mother, sister and my recent supervisor have all the traits that you talked about. I was afraid to leave all of them because they need help. I realized that they will not change so I had to make a change for my happiness. My mom and sister will never admit they are a narcissist. I started a new job in a new city and noticed the narcissistic traits in my new boss and sadly decided to resign. After pleas with my mom and sister, I have not seen or spoken to them in almost 4-years. I continue to understand this disorder to keep recognizing the traits and validating my reasons for them not being in my life, which hurts to my soul! Thank you for sharing your journey!

  • @JosephPatton316
    @JosephPatton316 Рік тому +12

    This was really heart-wrenching to hear. After years of weekly cycling between love and hate, I finally took the step and blocked my narcissistic partner. Every day I remind myself of what I’ve been through, and how starkly it contrasts with my own internal experience. Thanks for your video.

  • @LeandreaFoster
    @LeandreaFoster Рік тому +6

    I left again and plan NEVER to return. It took me 30 yrs to find out what was wrong with him. Lying cheating gas lighting disrespectful no loyalty at all. I packed up and moved while he relaxed at the kitchen counter on his computer. Now 9 months later hes calling asking why he hasnt heard from me. Telling me how good things are.

  • @rebeccakane3309
    @rebeccakane3309 10 місяців тому +3

    He lied to me ,he manipulated me, he would always find his way through when i was trying to cut every contact...the last thing was to cheat on me...and I discovered in a very nasty way during a trip we had in Italy that he arranged as a gift for me...
    I feel still devastated but these videos really help me to acknowledge the fact that i deserve better ❤

  • @tiffanyglaspie563
    @tiffanyglaspie563 Рік тому +5

    Damn Lee……Sometimes I want to go back to being ignorant to all of this. Now I’m a shit show out here realizing how I can’t be everyone’s supplier and unable to escape their hatred cause I’m still not all the way healed and find myself even more targeted cause not smart enough yet to fly under their radar!

  • @michignamymichigan
    @michignamymichigan Рік тому +2

    I never mattered. It is dangerous to forget that I don't matter. Radical acceptance is safest. Be healed all.

  • @deb2319
    @deb2319 11 місяців тому +2

    Block & NC = True Self Love.🎉🎉🎉

  • @tanjadouglass6834
    @tanjadouglass6834 7 місяців тому +1

    Finally makes sense! I've been binge watching your videos. I sit in silence after LEAVING with NO CONTACT. 22 years of unimaginable hurt and pain 💔 that I couldn't understand even after I left. wasn't easy. He did not want a divorce, but now I believe it's the failure to maintain fear and control hurting more, than my absence. Glad you found help, and chose to help others. 🙏

  • @healwithme10
    @healwithme10 11 місяців тому +2

    Our ego is merely our fears the more you feed it the bigger it becomes. That means the more you bend down to your fears the bigger they become and the more they take over.

  • @roqueowens
    @roqueowens Рік тому +10

    You really helped piece my life back together ...thank you Lee H.

  • @edinakamaric6513
    @edinakamaric6513 19 днів тому

    When my dad got ill, my ex narcisist boyfriend lost my focus and attention so he decided to break up with me the very day my dad almost died.
    I left knowing that it was the best thing that it happened to me.
    He kept sending text messeges, but I ignored all of them.
    Few months later, my dad died. He started texing me again, I ignored him again even after the text that he will soon have the money he owes me.
    For the next couple of days, his brother and his mom were terorising me with messages about what kind of person am I for ignoring my ex, how my behavior made him hurt and etc...
    Right then and there I knew I made a good decision by ingoring him.
    The peace of mind I am having right now is priceless!

  • @AyeeDeb
    @AyeeDeb 6 місяців тому +1

    Thank you so much for these, I’ve dealt with narcissistic people all my life.

  • @kanikanewsome6305
    @kanikanewsome6305 Рік тому +5

    Beautiful Lee. I'm sooooo relieved that ur apart of the solution today helping us heal instead of hurt🙏🏾❤

  • @AMurphySharp
    @AMurphySharp 11 місяців тому +2

    They can change but choose not to (period)

  • @CherylLewis-gx6rc
    @CherylLewis-gx6rc 6 місяців тому +1

    Hello I was going through the same thing but I was curious about what was going on so now I understand it enough to shake my self back because it was hard and painful to stay in that relationship with a narcissist and toxic person

  • @brb3008
    @brb3008 11 місяців тому +4

    So much of this resonates! But curious if anyone else has had the experience with a narcissist where they actually react VERY emotionally when you leave- hysterical crying, guilt trip, 30x phone calls, 10-page emails, apologies, showing up at your house… until you agree to talk to them and they suck you back in??

    • @LeesaAllSmilez
      @LeesaAllSmilez 11 місяців тому

      Yes for 6 years

    • @Stephanie-ft6bq
      @Stephanie-ft6bq 11 місяців тому

      Maybe they're co-morbid BPD+NPD?

    • @teesahurt2074
      @teesahurt2074 11 місяців тому

      Restrain order. Call the POLICE.

    • @tracysprenger8622
      @tracysprenger8622 9 місяців тому +1

      Mine went on for 4 years and it would have gone on forever but by accident I answered the phone I thought it was one of my children as I was in a health issue but it was him. I told him I was afraid of him and hung up. He has left me alone (10 yrs now) I am certain he will never bother me again. I got lucky he lives in a different town now thank goodness. I never see him and do not feel his energy in my town anymore. I did lose over 50 thousand dollars and forced to be homeless with 2 children from a house I bought over 70% of but I was able to recover. He is homeless and now has to fake life with bottom feeder very overweight narc women to have a place to live. Someone was looking out for me to make sure my time with him was short and our engagement didn't turn into an actual marriage. I am grateful everyday I am not with him anymore and do not ever want him in my presence again.

    • @teesahurt2074
      @teesahurt2074 9 місяців тому

      YES, All of the above…. This is called STALKING. Get yourself a protection order, Sounds like you have a psychopath that is escalating . I would move and never look back.

  • @Lovealwayswin-g1m
    @Lovealwayswin-g1m 27 днів тому

    Yes, Lee, it’s all that and more.
    My undiagnosed narcissist married a woman of my nationality after he cheated on me and he couldn’t get through me. They are pure evil when they don’t learn accountability. I am glad I block him out of my life completely.

  • @24737296
    @24737296 Рік тому +8

    This hit home my ex would say to me your the best thing that has ever happened to me 😢

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  Рік тому +1

      stay strong

    • @malindaallen718
      @malindaallen718 Рік тому +1

      My first X said the same. I did not like being a "thing" that "happened to him." That's so far from being a person who was in a relationship with him.

  • @johnholmes6741
    @johnholmes6741 Рік тому +6

    Their biggest regret is knowing they were too lazy to do the work on themselves required to keep you around. They know right away you’re better people than them and don’t deserve what you’re bringing to the table so naturally they lie put on the mask to appear as though they haven’t cut corners all their life and have zero character or integrity all the whole knowing at some point wearing that mask was only going to last until you figured them out. Each day was impending doom they know everything about themselves is fake. The devaluation was just another ploy to keep them in the game and even that was fake. Then they dumped you before they knew you figured them out bc they understand that once you did you’d drop them and wouldn’t look back. They do it as meanly as possible to throw you off further but at the end of the day they’re just cockroaches. It took you a long time to figure it out. But they knew it from day 1. Sad pathetic existence. Couple that with a lifetime of bad karma and you’ve got the coward lazy narcissist. Just a loser that knows this and doesn’t care even about themself. So no chance if caring about anyone else. Actors. Always a show. Always a game. The female narcs of which there are many make for good xxx videos. Besides that they serve no good purpose.

    • @LaMesaC
      @LaMesaC 5 місяців тому

      LOVE THIS! Divorcing my narc abusive husband and everything you posted encapsulate what he is about. You are wise and this is what I realized all along and what he showed. He knew he wasn't worthy of me but lead me astray.

  • @mumof5leeleex875
    @mumof5leeleex875 Рік тому +2

    I finally blocked the narcissistic 4days now and I feel great im in control now. 😌 ❤ and he knows it so im just waiting for the back lash now but now he is the 1 who is discarded

  • @K.j.h.279
    @K.j.h.279 10 місяців тому +2

    So accurate! My husband trained me up to be exactlyly how he wanted me..i got away after many years, but the first mention of divorce he was out gallvanting to quickly replace me, with younger and better im sure, but so far no luck..he cant quite believe i still dont want him.. 5 years later.

  • @AshleyLaBruja
    @AshleyLaBruja Рік тому +8

    My narc husband is currently in jail and has been for the past 2 weeks to the day. I wonder if he has any regrets.. he’s lost me, his job, health insurance, and home. On top of that he’ll now have a criminal record. Part of me is praying this will be enough to change him but knowing him he’s probably blaming me for everything 😢

    • @isabellapiesch4180
      @isabellapiesch4180 11 місяців тому +3

      Narcissists always blame others ... (The bank is guilty, you are guilty...). They can´t reflect themselves. Narcissists are children in adults bodies. You are not responsible for choices of others... Everybody is responsible for themselves. So never feel guilty because you are not.

    • @BillyLintzenich-wf7sk
      @BillyLintzenich-wf7sk 9 місяців тому

      ​@@isabellapiesch4180i still feel guilty and cant move on. I feel like a failure and yet when i did a no contact for 5 weeks she got her a new bf and even tried to downplay the fact. I even tried to re-kindle what i thought we had but it just got worse.

  • @jesussaves4262
    @jesussaves4262 8 місяців тому +1

    Im so glad this man got the help he needed AND that he speaks from experience, AND i pray all N out there will take heed to what he's saying n learn from him, so they too can heal AND do better. I pray all N wld realize that EVERY person they abuse, yes even behind the scenes that no one else witnesses, that GOD is keeping track n they will give account to HIM at Judgment Day. " 2 Cor. 5: 10- 11a" 🙏

  • @loraynedantonio2138
    @loraynedantonio2138 Рік тому +5

    Since finding you here on UA-cam and watching your videos I can honestly say my ex definitely regrets we aren't together. When he sees me he shows it in a subtle way and sometimes he's just blunt. Also, he will at times twist what happened back at it being my fault we're not together.

  • @2L82Sk8Bye
    @2L82Sk8Bye 11 місяців тому +4

    Lost access and control over my checkbook. 👍😂💪

  • @kathpercy7941
    @kathpercy7941 Рік тому +4

    I’m still struggling with this after 30 years married abuse on every level and adultery always treated less than but always giving trying to do more be more turning myself inside out to make him happy being used for taxi services and maid services I filed for divorce after death threats going through high conflict divorce separated for 3 years still living in marital homeI was looking after and caring for all his family disengaged caring role from looking after disabled father in law while he was out being single all through our marriage and they have come at me like a pack of dogs
    looking after our daughter who he also treated disgustingly just getting breadcrumbs flaunting new supply in my face which has distracted him
    I am still trying to heal the trauma bond one day at a time your videos have helped me listening to them daily Thankyou
    🙏🙏🙏

  • @dear.celeste81
    @dear.celeste81 Місяць тому

    That's all Ive said. I just want to feel appreciated. I just wanted him to say thank you. I will do anything for him, but he refused telling me thank you. But he took me out to eat and bought stuff for me. This man will NOT show his emotions. Never apologized for anything. He did in the beginning, but not now. He always told me he never said anything nice to me because I always messed up and he didn't want me to become beheaded about it. I think he's afraid of losing me cuz he's being nice now. I just found your videos and I feel like Im watching my ex. But your explaining why to alot of things. Finally, Answers. Thank you!

  • @cynthiafortier2540
    @cynthiafortier2540 Рік тому +2

    I regret meetimg him and giving him the time of day. Lesson learned!!

  • @nadineo1983
    @nadineo1983 Рік тому +4

    I don't need confirmation to know that he regrets losing me. He is gonna look for what I gave him in every person he meets. And while I have compassion for him as a person, I will never go back there. He just abandoned our daughter and that's where I draw the line. I'll be damned if you hurt my baby. He is giving me the silent treatment because he fafo when I set a boundary about texting me and he got downgraded to emailing me. So, I haven't heard from him in about 2 months. My daughter is paying the price because he is mad at me for implementing a boundary. That shit is crazy

  • @glendacordova3479
    @glendacordova3479 Рік тому +3

    My ex told me that as a human being I was trash, but still wanted me to sleep with him. He told me he didn’t respect me (like duh you never did). I let him know that I no longer want to be with him and now I’m blocked 😂.

  • @prettyuniquell2011
    @prettyuniquell2011 Рік тому +2

    EVERYTHING, that was said is on 🎯 LITERALLY!!!

  • @bugsbunny857
    @bugsbunny857 9 місяців тому +1

    I love that you’re filming in front of your son’s dentist office. Spend so much money there you should be having a bbq

  • @normachase7227
    @normachase7227 Місяць тому

    Taking him 6 times in 31 yrs which I never knew what narcissist was at the time it got worse every time until I just was tired of going in and out of hospital. It became ridiculous for me to stay and getting sick of trying to understand what he was all about . Now that I’m divorced I studied what narcs was all about and I can’t believe I went through all the trauma and pain I endured. So I now know what to watch out for as for I’m still single since I left him …. I did have one before him for 10 years and it was the same thing , when he past away I got tangled with the second and that was enough.

  • @gitbuzy5461
    @gitbuzy5461 Рік тому +3

    Wow, this was too real fr. Thanks❤🎉

  • @sism3028
    @sism3028 Рік тому +2

    Thank you so much for your channel. You are helping so many people understanding about A narcissist. God bless you!

  • @melanietownsend-hinton8443
    @melanietownsend-hinton8443 11 місяців тому +2

    The keyword is control; in a nutshell. That’s all it’s about for them.