Omg it's like you described me exactly. Since I was little my family would always tell me to stop being so sensitive. I've felt misunderstood my entire life:/
i am number 2 of big irish family of 9,,,,,and agree your thoughts. i have been this way all my life, and it is just my nature to be who i am. it is amazing all the melodrama that goes on in my and indeed all the big world we all live. along time ago, i thought i was the only one who was like this, but looks like i was wrong. googb to know there are others like me, but at my age, well, its weird, i look a lot younger than so many family and friends, a lot of them can not be in joy or be happy for others to be in joy...just had a birthday and i felt guilty thatb i dont look my age, and i get the feeling from family they are seething ,jealous, envy,,of me. but i never look the mirror, or give a hoot, about my looks, ahh errggh sorry i ranting like a knucklehead. i just wanted to say i kinow about that ,,oh stop being so sensitive line,,,cheers from italy krissy
As an empath who has experienced abuse at the hands of narcissists, I feel that I have been able to learn and grow from those experiences to become more self-aware, self-protective and better equipped to support my own mental health, establish healthier relationships, while maintaining my own independence.
I haven't unfortunately. Desperately need to figure it out before it kills me, not exagerating. My health, physical and emotional, has been taking a beating all of my life. Didn't realize why until recently. Thought everyone had this ability. Add to it high intuition, and compounds the problem significantly. Things like knowing, the joy of one's pregnancy is going to result in severely malformed ill child and telling them is not an option, will result in anger and my appearing to be a very cruel person. Weighs heavily when it comes to pass, and increases the feeling of needing to give them all of your support. A Blessing? It doesn't feel like it, despite it having saved my life and a few close to me. Am beyond the point of needing help, as an Empath, having this high intuition, and seeing things with so much transparency. Too painful as I have become the go to person when people's lives fall apart, with no reciprocation when it's my life falling apart. Time to break the cycle. Has to be a better way than isolating myself, having my most meaningful relationships with animals. Thankful they are there, and far closer to source, more highly developed intuition, empathy, and telepathy than we mere humans. Namaste.
@@gazellerichardson9135 I am sorry for the pain this has caused you. It has taken me years to gain a better hold of my circumstances. I don't have any answers other than my own experiences. Things that have helped me most in no specific order have been support found in others like myself, time spent practicing yoga/meditation, reading, poetry, and the tragedy of losing my brother at a young age, who's death--though shocking as it was--seemed to awaken me to an insurmountable grief where everything else seemed to pale in comparison, and I was able to establish and maintain healthier boundaries for myself no matter how things might appear to others. I let go of a lot in my life during that time and still do as warranted. I learned to trust myself. I wish you the very best, and hope that you will find the comfort you seek. Shanti.
so true. for me i learned to defend myself more when narcistic people accuse/blame me knowing the fact i hate to fight, set clear boundaries on everything, express more to communicate, being angry & let go when needed.. although i usually have 'hidden guilt-after effect' but those are needed as ways of me balancing & protecting myself as i used to always absorb & understanding everything and trying to fix everything around me naturally which is really draining physically & mentally. i also try not to blame/sacrifice myself for people's mistakes/unfortunates. i learn to give only when needed. and yes, i love being independent.
I'm an empath , born a HSP, raised by 2 narcissist parents, abusive Golden Child big sister / I'm still here. God has a plan for me here..a reason for me to endure this. And I am grateful 🙏
Reading most of the comments, it’s so funny... most of the comments are so kind, grateful and quite self aware and eager to learn more to better themselves. Typical empaths 😜 As much challenge as we have being empaths, it’s also what makes us so lovely. Our task is to learn to hone those skills and use them with wisdom and discernment rather letting them run amuck in our lives. Wish my fellow empaths good vibes on their path and the wisdom and hard work it takes to heal and grow. And big Thank you to the doc for sharing his insights in these vids.
Im going to have to watch this a couple more times to get all the knowledge bombs it contains! I feel like I just had a bucket of "ahhh haaaa" moments tipped over my head lol.
Yes, I am also an empath and I have grown a lot in the last year. I have learned how to control my reactions two other people and their vibrations. As result of this and other things I have learned on my own mind you, not from a psychiatrist, I am no longer suffer from depression or panic attacks and anxiety. After 25 years of being on tranquilizers, alprazolam, and antidepressants, I am totally free of these psychiatric medications. It's amazing what the mind can do when we realize what is really going on. I hope everyone has as good of luck as I do with this!
@@debralucas2224 Me, too. I am going to watch them and consider them multiple times. I just found Dr. Saad. I am strongly considering doing some direct work with him via Skype.
Being an empath can be a strength. The skills that empathic children should be taught are to set boundaries, that they have to be "selfish" sometimes and put self care above other people's care, not all people deserves our energies and. how to block the energies of those who do not help or who might cause more harm than good. I'm not sure we are as much child like but rather we hold on to the openness of when we were children where as others harden up to the adult world. I don't think we need to lose that quality just know who is worthy of our openness. Part of the so called childlike part of our personalities is, also, our creative center. We do have to toughen up a bit to protect ourselves so that we know when to close off ourselves to potentially toxic people. I wish I knew these things before I hit my 50s but it just happens that way sometimes. It is never too late to learn.
Be more introverted or don't let as many people into your bubble. Even just lonely people have a way of opening up too fast when they meet someone who's willing to listen to them. You don't have to be mean but you don't have to be nice and listen to everybody's problems. Not to be sexist but I believe many women think they're empaths when they aren't. Being emotional and being emotionally sensitive or aware of the emotions of others are different things. Not that they're entirely to blame, there's probably countless "are you an empath tests" online that have no credibility and are guessing at stuff like I am now mostly.
I totally agree with you. I “unloaded” my empathic experiences and feelings to a friend who is in psych. She said, “you are not weird. You are an Empath”…I am 70!
All the psychologists Ive seen on UA-cam seem to describe empaths in terms of dysfunctional relationships, which it seems we are susceptible to. I would like to explore conversations about healthy empaths. We are not just another category of disturbed character.
Maybe we can only be an empath BECAUSE of our exposure to dysfunctional relationships. I suspect an integrated empath = an integrated, balanced and happy human being.
Jeanna Clever --Agreed! I'm healthy with great husband and grown kids with families of their own. We siblings grew up with two narcissistic parents along with fighting and constant turmoil. We use our ability for good and not evil. It made me a terrific mom and wife because I could recognize different needs within my family and I could foster those along with confidence and abilities to my children. If you recognize who you are and what you can do...it can become your greatest strength. God brought me a husband who allows me to feel secure and will make sure I don't overextend myself helping those whom I love. He also keeps people from taking advantage. I'm working on taking better care of myself because I take on worry for others. I remind myself to let go and let God...say my prayers and then recharge. You're right... We can also be very healthy and evolve :-)
I think part of it is that clinical psychologists just don't get much experience with well adjusted and healthy adults in general so it would be very hard to frame.
It's a result from CPTSD, trauma bond, torture. A maladaptive way to cope with stress in early ages and it has to be healed. Now I understand why I felt so uncomfortable in my own skin identifing the SELF with those "empaths" traits and almost forcing myself to put it in act to have crumbles of safety. If an " empath" doesn't take the courage to come out of denial to see reality and feel all the suppressed pain and guilt, he will stay stuck keeping falses believes and a naif narrative of a gifted and special person just like the narcissist does.
Empaths are very susceptible to being codependent. It's the "dance" between the codependent and narc. I personally believe both codependents and narcs are empaths. It explains how narcs read codependents and know how to manipulate them. I see cod's and narcs as two sides of the same coin. The only way out of abuse as a cod empath is to take responsibility for your cod and break the spell the narc can weave over the cod. It's how I have healed after 7 years of shadow work. God bless.
the suffering is severe and it is long lasting, there is no time left for, lets say..living a life. probably the same, as sitting inside a bunker, while bombs are continously dropping down.
It can be done. Spend a lot of time alone in nature, meditate, study, and reflection of your past (specifically facing the most painful memories) will help. Everyone’s path is different, but these key things, which I practice routinely, helped me turn a curse into a power of sorts. When you become strong and learn to control it, seeing the confused look on the faces of those narcs from your past when they see you is quite amusing. They knew I could see behind their mask. Stay strong and don’t stop working on yourselves.
They write powerful novels, symphonies, move audiences to tears. They counsel the depressed, feed the homeless, care for the dying. Idk what else but there’s more.
words your words let me guess you're one and definitely not a narcissistic? Sometimes they don't do anything fantastical and just get by like most everyone else. Sometimes they're not even wonderful world healers 🙄
Kyle Abrams original comment was about using it positively not just getting by. Obviously not everyone wants to do something positive, so thanks for calling me a narcissist
Dealing with a narcissist has caused me to reassess my relationship as she made me question my reality by telling me my reality wasn’t correct ? Her being an older sister caused destruction and cutting her out of my life as she needed me to depend on her for more control
I am an empath and it has taken most of my life to even know that I am one. I so appreciate that you are taking the time to do this series. I know it will help a lot of us immensely! THANK YOU!
Really then you cannot be an Empath not a True Empath Or you would of sensed it Within yourself & always known A hint is An Empath doesn't have a "Self' as such An Empath is a purely Energised Energy in a body The mind gets bypassed completely the intellect also gets bypassed We don't "think' as such We are just a Life Force that recognises life as Life itself Sees all Life as a WHOLE is WHOLE (Holy as them religions call it) Is Born as such Is a complete Truth teller Can't won't lie or manipulate that's all psychological/intellectual that does that Example an Empath true Empath wouldn't be vaccinated against covid wouldn't of conformed followed done it wouldn't allow themselves to be Because they listen to themselves the Energies to Life within, they just KNEW KNOW it wasn't needed necessary or going to be Good for them on any level, An Empath eats health exercises regularly always does thier Best in everything is honest has integrity ect An Empath can & will defend Herself Can will use violence if necessary Has a huge 'sense' of life evolution of life understanding all life supports all life so always wants everyone being doing thier BEST for all LIFE FORCE not just parts of it Is in tune with Connecting to LIFE FORCE as a WHOLE Just sees gets Knows Understands Life without anything but what comes from Within No teachings/guides required
I’m so excited for this new series! You’ve educated so many people who’ve been psychologically and often physically tormented by aggressive cluster B personality types.
This can be summed up as the empath's biggest problem is society as this world is emotionally, spiritually, and mentally diseased which is like dropping the bomb on the empath so for many this world is hell where basically you have to be almost anything else other than being an empath to survive. Some wonder why some empaths even become misanthropes and avoidants without putting much if any thought as to why, I have hell some days enduring extroverts because of this.
I used to feel overloaded so much, it’s long story but my physical symptoms were diagnosed as fibromyalgia a while ago. Turns out it wasn’t, it was cptsd after chronic devaluation by my disordered sister over a period of two years. I didn’t know at the time about the narcissists playbook and now that I’ve gone no contact (she attacked me a year ago because I refused to validate her twisted reality) I’ve found my answers and healed from the abuse. My sister has lost her supply and I will never again exchange authenticity for approval. I addressed my misguided belief systems and my emotional boundaries are now carved in stone. It not what happens, it’s how you deal with it and it’s never too late to learn new skills to protect yourself from these miserable emotional predators. You win by escaping and becoming the real you in your freedom from their tyranny. So many empaths don’t even realise that they were brainwashed in childhood into becoming trapped in abusive and controlling relationships. Thank you so much for your work and I’m looking forward to the rest of this series.
I sincerely appreciate your work. Looking forward to this series immensely. The note on pride hit home with me. Would you please touch on empath blind spots or tendencies when it comes to parenting. I’m committed to parenting the best I can and stopping this dynamic. It’s hard to change what you might not see. Your work is appreciated and impactful.
Your objective and clinical overview of empaths is refreshing. There are many New Age -type videos on the subject, and I feel they have their place. I don’t believe, however, they are of much help when the empath actually needs it.
'There's been a wounding to their basic sense of safety in the world, their basic right to fundamentallly exist, especially in a physical body'... this rings true and brought tears to my eyes, please elaborate and give some examples. Thank you and God bless you.
I would never describe myself as being an empath. However, I have noticed that I do become ill if I have to be around them even if I am not aware at that point in time that they are narcissists. I would like to offer that the main reason why empaths can not receive nourishment from their environment is because they have been groomed not to. In being raised in a narcissistic home, you are not allowed to need anything nor expect anything from your parents. When you are a child and if you are hurt, maybe at school, you can not go to your parents to receive any kind of compassion or advice. You are shamed and told to stand on your own two feet. So, later on, it becomes a very bizarre feeling to receive kindness from others even though you may be the most overtly kind person in your class/office/church/etc. I will be very keen on what you have to say about "blind spots" and disassociation in your future videos! Thank you so much for your generosity in putting these videos together for us! They make us feel as if we have a place to go where we are with our own kind.
Questions for Dr. Sa’ad: 1) Based upon your definition in the video above, the definition of an Empath is dependent upon a Narcissist to give them (the Empath) context for existing. Dr. Sa’ad, can not an Empath authentically exist outside of and independent of a Narcissist and/or a Narcissistic construct? (Said another way: Are you of the opinion that an Empath is born highly intuitive and empathetic FIRST and it’s not until the Empath is targeted by a Narcissists that the Empath’s inherently intuitive nature can be weaponized against the Empath by the Narcissist?) 2) Can you please clarify if you are labeling “Empaths” as a pathology? Or do you consider Empaths as whole and complete human beings who just happen to have extra sensory abilities? Dr. Sa’ad, I’m not trying to be snarky...I legitimately want to know. You are one of the few -if not only clinical psychologist/therapist that has ever openly acknowledged the existence of Empaths AND you are not condescending about it. 🤲🏼 So thank you in advance for clarifying your Point Of View and providing some context. I look forward to reading your responses.
I honestly seeing being an empath as a strength but in the past I didn't have the understanding on how to protect myself by setting boundaries, etc. The key is not get into a relationships that don't serve us either with being a narcissist or someone we have to care for. I did the second at the cost of my own well being. Personally I think we are born this way but I think that parents should have more information how to raise kids who are empathic so they can instill self care and self protection.
Life tobelived yes agreed ! My great nephew has had some depression / extreme sensitivity etc and just the other day I suggested to my niece ( his mom) that she look into empaths because I believe he is one.
Dr Sa ad is one of the only to speak of the pathology of the empath, I concur with him, when so many others on utube speak of it as a desired almost "glorified spiritual personality" capable of incredible gifts. I think to find comparative opinions with Dr. Sa ad one has to look at the Codependency literature, and that of what was previously called hyper or over sensitive people. Codependent, or empathic people have issues, but are NOT part of the dark triad of personality disorders that Narcissists and Borderlines are. We as "emptaths" must not fall into the new false belief of great gifts of spirits. Rather we are wounded and we need to heal in order to stop attracting the narcs in life. It's like our wounds leak blood and Narc Sharks smell it, put on their love bombing and get us.
Glad your back! Before I did some really good (and lots of) inner child work I was one of the really sensitive empaths. I am developing some really good boundaries now and learning to honor and clearly speak my needs. I appreciate this type of education for our world. Thank you!
Thankyou you do know Empath better than anyone else I've heard or talked to. Your helping me understand myself much deeper , I've always wondered why I am this way because although I love being an Empath and having a big heart ,it hasn't served me well. I've learned the extremely hard way from taking in homeless people and losing my home and becoming homeless myself because I didn't have the heart to turn people away to having a physically abusive Narcissists boyfriend for the last 7 years. I've been working on myself for two years now and made progress because of videos and help from wonderful caring people like yourself! Keep producing your content you are making a huge difference in people's life's. Aloha
Disclaimer: I am thinking out loud. So what is the alternative? Our "empathy" serves a function. It allows us to get into a favorable relationship with people so that they will be less likely to pose a danger to us. It allows us to predict danger by seeing/feeling things from other people's perspectives. But what's the alternative? To be blind to danger and to suffer discomfort, injury, disadvantage or death from danger. I ask the reader, what is your worst possible outcome if you switched off empaty? Perhaps it would be like losing eye sight and re-adjusting to walking around without seeing anything. My worst imaginable outcome would be to become a social outcast, getting rejected by everyone and not getting my basic needs met and not being able to survive as a consequence. Another side to this worst outcome would be that I would do inappropriate things without knowing they are inapropriate and make people angry and perhaps suffer their agression without meaning to provoke it. This aggression could be physical or them shouting or ridicule or getting ostracized by everybody forever. One would need a guarantee of some sorts, that the worst case scenario mentioned above won't happen or at least that it won't be as bad as one thinks it will or could get, to not need this "empathy" defence mechanism. Is there a non-fearful type of empathy? Is it bad that I can't tell? Would a different correct type of empathy remain if we got rid of the self-defense mechanism of fearful empathy? I did not expect to raise such interesting questions. Can anyone relate and does anyone feel like they have some answers to the questions I posted above? It might help everybody involved. I belive that through understanding, we can change our disfunctional behaviours. As for me, there are a lot of blind spots or whatever you wanna call them. I mean to say I don't know a lot of things.
@@debroo2128 Idk if I'll read it on account of me not being much of a reader and also an extreme cheapskate, but thanks. It sounds like a good book, actually.
This is really good. I am the oldest and felt as though I had to take care of my siblings. As an adult I do not want to deal with conflict. I had a hard time asking for help. My dad (RIH) used to mention pride since I refused to ask for help.
I don’t think it’s pride. It’s more like we don’t think we deserve it. We undervalue ourselves and our own needs. If we’re exposed to narcissistic abuse, we’re treated like we don’t deserve it, so it reinforces that belief.
So well explained! I Recognize myself here, and it is as you mentioned, but only if I am in a romantic relationship with a predator. In other cases I am able to protect myself (much better).
Thank you so much Dr. Saad. This has put my mind at rest & things have clicked into place. Had recent experience at an outdoor festival where I felt so overwhelmed emotionally & physically I had to go home. Now I realise I was probably picking up others' emotions & stress at the noisy, hot & stressful environment! You are so inciteful, kind & gentle. Thank you so much for all that you do to help people recover. Xx
You nailed it !!!! So accurate . You bring me hope. Just the fact that as a psychologist you dare to venture outside of what is acknowledged in the DSM, brings many of us a sense of relief ! The word “ energy “ is so important when talking about empaths. For many years I kept telling people I was affected by the energy around me and I was looked as if I was exaggerating or being egocentric by my “ special powers .” Thank you for seeing us!
Sometimes when I walk into a place I am hit by a brick of negative energy. It's like a switch it's that fast. I immediately think 'they don't like me' which is so self sabotaging. Other times I will walk on the road and within split seconds of seeing certain individuals I am hit with a truck of bad energy. Similar to a sword turning inwards. I always thought that person doesn't like me but really you are picking up 'their' energy, it has nothing to do with up what so ever.
Thank you so much. I now know that even though i am 70 and thought I had worked it all out, I still need to grow up and learn to protect my inner child. I am ready for it and will follow your series on empaths. Thereafter, if needed, I will seek your online counselling. Late in life but never too late!!
I'm not saying I'm an empath, because to me, this seems to be the highest "level" a Human can attain. But there are times I am so deeply moved by emotional interactions I see between people, that it brings me to tears. Perhaps I am just very sensitive to such things. And the effect my environment has on me, is astounding. Bright lights, too much noise, too much stimuli, and I get panicked! Very interested in this new series you're putting out. I hope to learn much from it, thank you!😊
Thank you so very much for this video, I’m looking forward to this series as I move forward embracing my inner empath ; while being aware of the glitches it can create. This is fantastic work you’re doing. All the best to you with gratitude 😊
Looking forward to this new series! Only recently realized I am an empath and am learning so much from your videos, to cope and care for myself. I didn't know how to handle emotional exhaustion and lack of trust in others (sourced from a narcissist). After feeling like I'm always being used for advice and support and then being ditched, never feeling like I fit in or belong anywhere; I isolated myself which I think I took too far. Hoping to learn some skills on how to enter back into the social world, to feel more well equipped as an empath.
I physically feel others pain to the point sometimes I wonder if something's wrong with me then I realize it's them and I need to be praying for them I once thought I was having a heart attack but it was somebody that was close to me who was having heart issues I found out after
I do feel others pain as well, physical or emotional. They don't need to be close to me, if they just tell me what happened or describe their pain, I feel it in my body. I call it my superpower because it helps me understand them better
@@feminineresilience I can even see the ocean waves when my relatives left their families behind in those 2 months steamboats trips to look for better opportunities in another continent. It is a paranoia.
Yes, I also sense health issues. I knew that my dad had died before I was told. Also when I was told my mother was dying I decided to go visit her. After that visit I knew that she was not dying after being told by two doctors that she was. I asked another doctor to run labs, her actual doctor, who stated that he was hoping I would call and gratefully ran more labs. These lab results show that she was definitely not dying and was taken out of hospice immediately. That was the first case of someone being taken out of hospice in the history of Floyd County Iowa.
@@jackiedunlap835 that sounds more like being intuitive. Because our intuition can tell us these things without us being empaths. Everyone has intuition whether they listen to it or not, but not everyone is an empath.
@@jackiedunlap835 I am so glad you could save your mom! It is amazing! I couldn't save my parents from my narc brother doctors' hands and I am sure they died at least 10 years before they were supposed to die.
I was in Viet Nam for 2 yrs, as a infantry man, and the sight of suffering, of humans and animals, crushes my soul. I do have PTSD, but I always been this way. My older sister would tell people about the animals I would find, and bring home. Lucky to have had a family with heart.
Absolutely spot on. This is so helpful; I'm a recovering empath and this is perfect in helping me to understand how I have functioned. I'm happy to report that progress is being made so please don't give up on yourself if you too identify with this information.
this makes a lot of sense to me. you're on the money regarding the vulnerable/anti-vulnerable psych states & the blindness of the empath to those states because of pride. keep the careful critique comin' doc!
Im about to start your next video on the empaths inner workings. I am a dead empath. Or rather a Wrath. My inner child became Wrath, but was also the co-dependent aspect. I destroyed my codependency, my inner child vanished, and Im left with Wrath. I do feel love for my family, but aside from them, apathy or wrath is what I mostly feel. I started life as an empath and was forced to stand strong for all those who couldnt. This is how someone goes over to The Dark Side.
This is a really great talk Abdul. Uncomfortable and not easy to accept, but necessary to understand. You have elucidated some aspects I had not known before. Thanks.
I m an Empath...Buy I m very independent ....Also I m very good at guarding myself from Evil people....I m very thankful to you for a very understanding description on Empaths...God bless you.🎉
This man understands empaths. Born an empath became co-dependent, used and abused by people only to become an introvert almost to the point of hermit trying to understand and survive and heal.
Thank you for your videos! You really hit it on the head with your description of the characteristics of empaths. I am a empath and I have struggled a lot in my life with the negative aspects that can arise in a empaths life, when we don’t follow our intuition, and give too much of ourselves to others, and don’t ask for help when needed. I am learning more about the pros and cons of being a empath so that I can manage my life better, and in return help others who are not going to extort my giving and helping nature for their personal gain. I use to think being so caring and being a Empath was a negative trait, in this world we live in today, but really it’s beautiful because why else were we put on this earth, if it was not to help others overcome their burdens, pain, and struggles in life?
Dr. Abdul, you are a genius! This describes me to a T. My mother had narcissistic personality disorder, and I am both an highly sensitive person and an empath. I have learned so much from you.
Excellent video! This really fits! Also, can you explain in a video about the psychologcal development of the empath? What exactly created the empath? And what age or age range the empath develops?
You make perfect sense. This describes me. I avoid conflict in the workplace more than at home because I don't feel well in conflicting environments as it causes much distress - I need harmony or I just don't thrive. Thank you Dr. Saad.
Great beginning here in this new series. I hope by the final episode you will be able to give us tips on how to prevent ourselves from getting vampire-ized.. Yes, I know. Boundaries. But further specifics would be very helpful. Thanks . Happy this topic is finally being addressed in detail.
You are saving me thousands of dollars and countless hours sitting on a therapist's couch, by producing these quality videos, which are worth their weight in gold. Thank you! 💜
I must say, you sir are very smart, being an empath is very lonely and always misunderstood by most conflict happens and we with draw,once again, and the cycle keeps going funny how no one ever wants to know us and yet that is what we need.
Thankyou Dr, you've helped me so much in your previous series. Your approach challenges me to step away from victim- hood and do the inner work rather than stay stuck, angry and "victimised".
When i saw the title 'what is an empath?' I thought oh no it will cover old ground for me but it didn't. I can see I've made some steps forward from watching many UA-cam vids but certainly looking forward to your next videos. As always 'Thanks '
😊👍👍Thank you for your unique descriptions of empaths. I always refer to myself as a humanitarian and still believe I am but also know the distress of being an Empath by actually feeling another person's stories (happy or sad) as they tell them. Also, the energies in a place or a room full of people. So strong sometimes I have to close myself off for protection from the emotional distress these feelings can overwhelm me with.
wow that last comment about that separate group really hit me. I always say I can't handle being around my mother for long and recently I've started dissociating. it's just crazy to know how all my problems are connected. thank you.
Am so glad I found this site. Very few people understand what it's like to feel other people's emotions, pain, fear, anger, etc. It feels like the feelings are mine.... How can you not help? Need to learn. Makes me physical ill. I put other's need ahead of mine consistently. Only solution I have found is isolation, and relationships with animals. Complicating it is a high level of intuition, often knowing that something bad is going to happen to someone. Overwhelmed, not functioning, physically ill. Feel like my so called friends only keep me around as a go to when their lives fall apart with no reciprocation when I need support. Thank You for doing this series. I work in the field of Psychology. Can't help myself. My partner is a Medical Psychologist, multiple doctorates in the mental health field; but you can't really help someone you Love. It just doesn't work. Most Psychologists don't understand this, even if they believe one is an Empath (rarely). Anything beyond the documented 5 senses is not something they want to touch, or know how to deal with. Namaste.
OMG. Thank you. You're meant to help us. You must have come for this because you're amazing at seeing into so many components in in-depths and unique ways. As I hear you speak, I can see it all, but couldn't have explained it, and most of it I've thought was "just me" until even learning about narcs and the scapegoated empath dynamics. I have these issues! I thought I was just broken somehow. I guess I am, and I don't know how to be other than these things as I've never known anything else and have no body memories or mental memories of being different. This way of being is all I've known, and I've heard of memories and past emotions being stored in all tissues of the body. I don't know if it's truly possible to completely be what a person could be if a person had been able to grow up in a decent environment and hadn't been a scapegoated empath from day one. I don't know if it's possible to completely be something very workable as a human being after knowing only this, but it's relieving to at least know these traits were created in me because of the dynamics I grew up in, and not just because I am a failure and screwed up somewhere early in life, which I what I've thought for so long. I've beat myself up my entire life for not being better, for not being able to do better, yet I've strived so hard to overcome the limits I've experienced all along. I don't know how far I can transform, but I will always do my best to. For my own sake. And then that can radiate out and help others in that way. I have at least stopped giving so much of myself out anymore. At least I'm not leaking my energy out everywhere like I'd been and unwittingly letting so many people use me up. Thank you, Abdul.
I keep hearing people explain that empaths “absorb” the energy of others- as if they passively absorb it whether they choose to or not- I think it’s better to say an empath can sense amd correctly read the energy of others to give the empath a very precise measure of the degree to which other people’s words amd actions are in alignment with how they actually think and feel. In other words, empaths have a very precise measurement of other people’s degree of honesty vs deception. This gives the empath a strong sense of the true character of those they seek to know the true intentions of- we are very good judges of character- This gives us an internal radar that sends us warning signals to protect us amd give us insight into the possible dangerous trajectory of continuing to pursue becoming entangled with dishonest people or carelessly going down a path that will lead to ruin. This is a tremendous gift. We see danger before most people are aware of it. This extraordinary skill can make empaths seem more sensitive from an objective viewpoint if such an empath is the victim or narcissist abuse or longing for closeness and meaning with others , but have not yet learned how to draw firm boundaries with those of whom would mistreat them. Once an empath knows how to properly view themselves, and accepts that most people do not wish for true and authentic, meaningful relationships with them - they will learn how to choose the company they keep much more wisely . Then they can begin to eliminate the people that are parasites to them, amd begin to see amd cultivate other empathathetic friends and family where there is a mutual amd meaningful relationship. Being an empath is a tremendous gift - but for many empaths who are anxiety ridden becasie they constantly worry about how they are perceived by people who are not equipped to even see our unique traits amd give us the feedback amd nourishment we need, many empaths will always be focused on self - this will absolutely lead to an empath feeling like a social outcast amd acting accordingly. This will not allow the empath to truly express themselves to their full potential, and will undoubtedly cause the empath to send off negative or awkward energy to those around them.
Until recently I didn't know that feeling how other feels was not a common human trait. My narcissistic father and borderline mother, which ares still alive and been married for 61 years taughr me that feelings didn't matter. If I said I was hungry, my mother would just stare at me and say ¡no, you're not! and since I felt so much determination I thought probably they were right and I was wrong. I didn't get any food and hunger passes after a while anyway. I (the oldest and me and my six siblings survived because in Peru, we have house help, maids, that cared for us even on holidays. But they did come and go , specially if my mother saw we where becoming attached to someone.
Great!!! My life has changed so much for good after watching your videos 😊 Thanks Always!!! Now I can help other persons and recommend your videos 😊 Have a great life!!!
Fantastic and so well articulated as always.. 🗣As a Genuine Empath over the years I found Many Covert Narcissist say that they are Empaths also to get you hooked and share your secrets..And like clockwork they then systematically harm you.. Im 54 yr old Retired teacher and when meeting anybody I hear there biography of life and if Always a Victim leave immediately and save yourself.. Love the beard btw 😉Can’t wait for next video 🙏🏻
I have suffered abuse my whole life! My father a narcissist, my mother unmedicated bi-polar, my older brother diagnosed as “anti-social personality disorder”, my younger sister a narcissist. I married a psychopath who may not be a murderer in the typical sense, however, he has spent his adult life killing myself and our children slowly. It’s been a nightmare life for myself, a middle child who was and is picked on by her whole family all while they watch the abuse my children and I have suffered at the hands and mind of my now ex husband. He stole my children knowing he could do whatever he wanted and he has done whatever he can to destroy me piece by piece. Being a Empath is the best worst gift I could imagine.
Finally a video which represents ways of problem solving. Not saying "oohh those people are god sent warriors" We are full of problems that need to be solved. Thank you for the professional solid approach, will check many of your other videos It's been nine years I escaped abusive household and started to train my inner child and parent Still a lot of work to be done.
I audibly said, "Yes!" 6 times, to myself while watching this. Your videos have been so helpful. Thank you for sharing your knowledge and experience! Looking forward to this series!!
Thank you so, so much for this, and for all of your work, Dr. Saad. I've gained enormous understanding from your previous videos, but this one explains my whole life: I am a "textbook example" of what you describe here, constantly oscillating between the two modes of function you outlined, and undermined by the insidious factor of pride. I'm eager for your next video, to learn what to do next now that I'm armed with this self-knowledge!
Thank you. This helps. I could not find a safe place when a child. Now this makes sense-- explains why I become physically ill during what are to me stressful occasions. Thank you.
I’m happy people like you understand. It’s very validating after a life of being abused and gaslighted. My heart aches for those that experienced this before the term was acknowledged. They must’ve felt batshit crazy. May all those who have been abused be Blessed with Healing, Support, and Love in Jesus Name
So glad to have you back, doctor! I empathize with everybody, mostly with my relatives, and my life is a constant torment. I feel I don't have the right to live, to be happy, because I didn't do my best to relieve the pain of my relatives. My conscience is always in the past. I feel they gave me so much and I reciprocate so little, even though I was the one, among the youngs, who most reciprocate.
Omg it's like you described me exactly. Since I was little my family would always tell me to stop being so sensitive. I've felt misunderstood my entire life:/
i am number 2 of big irish family of 9,,,,,and agree your thoughts.
i have been this way all my life, and it is just my nature to be who i am.
it is amazing all the melodrama that goes on in my and indeed all the big world we all live.
along time ago, i thought i was the only one who was like this, but looks like i was wrong.
googb to know there are others like me, but at my age, well, its weird, i look a lot younger than so many family and friends, a lot of them can not be in joy or be happy for others to be in joy...just had a birthday and i felt guilty thatb i dont look my age, and i get the feeling from family they are seething ,jealous, envy,,of me.
but i never look the mirror, or give a hoot, about my looks, ahh errggh sorry i ranting like a knucklehead.
i just wanted to say i kinow about that ,,oh stop being so sensitive line,,,cheers from italy krissy
@@ror312gallery19 I just had a birthday too on June24th. When was yours?
same here ....thank God we have the community now
& discovered we are not alone ....
31 may
@@bebop54 I know. Isn't the internet awesome❤💕 I've met some amazing people online. Beautiful souls of all ages and backgrounds.
As an empath who has experienced abuse at the hands of narcissists, I feel that I have been able to learn and grow from those experiences to become more self-aware, self-protective and better equipped to support my own mental health, establish healthier relationships, while maintaining my own independence.
I haven't unfortunately. Desperately need to figure it out before it kills me, not exagerating. My health, physical and emotional, has been taking a beating all of my life. Didn't realize why until recently. Thought everyone had this ability. Add to it high intuition, and compounds the problem significantly. Things like knowing, the joy of one's pregnancy is going to result in severely malformed ill child and telling them is not an option, will result in anger and my appearing to be a very cruel person. Weighs heavily when it comes to pass, and increases the feeling of needing to give them all of your support.
A Blessing? It doesn't feel like it, despite it having saved my life and a few close to me.
Am beyond the point of needing help, as an Empath, having this high intuition, and seeing things with so much transparency. Too painful as I have become the go to person when people's lives fall apart, with no reciprocation when it's my life falling apart. Time to break the cycle. Has to be a better way than isolating myself, having my most meaningful relationships with animals. Thankful they are there, and far closer to source, more highly developed intuition, empathy, and telepathy than we mere humans.
Namaste.
@@gazellerichardson9135 I am sorry for the pain this has caused you. It has taken me years to gain a better hold of my circumstances. I don't have any answers other than my own experiences. Things that have helped me most in no specific order have been support found in others like myself, time spent practicing yoga/meditation, reading, poetry, and the tragedy of losing my brother at a young age, who's death--though shocking as it was--seemed to awaken me to an insurmountable grief where everything else seemed to pale in comparison, and I was able to establish and maintain healthier boundaries for myself no matter how things might appear to others. I let go of a lot in my life during that time and still do as warranted. I learned to trust myself. I wish you the very best, and hope that you will find the comfort you seek. Shanti.
so true.
for me i learned to defend myself more when narcistic people accuse/blame me knowing the fact i hate to fight, set clear boundaries on everything, express more to communicate, being angry & let go when needed..
although i usually have 'hidden guilt-after effect' but those are needed as ways of me balancing & protecting myself as i used to always absorb & understanding everything and trying to fix everything around me naturally which is really draining physically & mentally.
i also try not to blame/sacrifice myself for people's mistakes/unfortunates. i learn to give only when needed.
and yes, i love being independent.
I agree. It has only taken me 60 years to fully understand and embrace myself. But I feel truly blessed.
I'm an empath , born a HSP, raised by 2 narcissist parents, abusive Golden Child big sister / I'm still here. God has a plan for me here..a reason for me to endure this. And I am grateful 🙏
We are real. I tire of the uneducated know-it-alls who abuse us. No more.
I hear ya, and I *feel* you.
Yes!!💝
Reading most of the comments, it’s so funny... most of the comments are so kind, grateful and quite self aware and eager to learn more to better themselves. Typical empaths 😜
As much challenge as we have being empaths, it’s also what makes us so lovely. Our task is to learn to hone those skills and use them with wisdom and discernment rather letting them run amuck in our lives. Wish my fellow empaths good vibes on their path and the wisdom and hard work it takes to heal and grow. And big Thank you to the doc for sharing his insights in these vids.
alignwithsource well said same to you 😊💕
Im a empath can we share social medias as friends online. I have videos on being a empath if ud like to follow sub my channel
Im going to have to watch this a couple more times to get all the knowledge bombs it contains! I feel like I just had a bucket of "ahhh haaaa" moments tipped over my head lol.
Yes, I am also an empath and I have grown a lot in the last year. I have learned how to control my reactions two other people and their vibrations. As result of this and other things I have learned on my own mind you, not from a psychiatrist, I am no longer suffer from depression or panic attacks and anxiety. After 25 years of being on tranquilizers, alprazolam, and antidepressants, I am totally free of these psychiatric medications. It's amazing what the mind can do when we realize what is really going on. I hope everyone has as good of luck as I do with this!
@@debralucas2224 Me, too. I am going to watch them and consider them multiple times. I just found Dr. Saad. I am strongly considering doing some direct work with him via Skype.
Being an empath can be a strength.
The skills that empathic children should be taught are to set boundaries, that they have to be "selfish" sometimes and put self care above other people's care, not all people deserves our energies and. how to block the energies of those who do not help or who might cause more harm than good.
I'm not sure we are as much child like but rather we hold on to the openness of when we were children where as others harden up to the adult world. I don't think we need to lose that quality just know who is worthy of our openness. Part of the so called childlike part of our personalities is, also, our creative center. We do have to toughen up a bit to protect ourselves so that we know when to close off ourselves to potentially toxic people.
I wish I knew these things before I hit my 50s but it just happens that way sometimes. It is never too late to learn.
Have you learned how to Block energies? And can you tell me about it. I would really love to know how to do that. It is really a problem
Be more introverted or don't let as many people into your bubble. Even just lonely people have a way of opening up too fast when they meet someone who's willing to listen to them. You don't have to be mean but you don't have to be nice and listen to everybody's problems.
Not to be sexist but I believe many women think they're empaths when they aren't. Being emotional and being emotionally sensitive or aware of the emotions of others are different things.
Not that they're entirely to blame, there's probably countless "are you an empath tests" online that have no credibility and are guessing at stuff like I am now mostly.
Thank you
I wish i got to read these words when i was child
I totally agree with you. I “unloaded” my empathic experiences and feelings to a friend who is in psych. She said, “you are not weird. You are an Empath”…I am 70!
Magnificent beard 🙂
Like frfr
Ale ....are you sure it's s beard ?
I felt it was my duty to give this a like
Only it probably harbours more Bacteria than a toilet seat 🤮
@@astermusicpublishinggroup5783 That is the thoughts of a dirty mind. IMHO
All the psychologists Ive seen on UA-cam seem to describe empaths in terms of dysfunctional relationships, which it seems we are susceptible to. I would like to explore conversations about healthy empaths. We are not just another category of disturbed character.
Maybe we can only be an empath BECAUSE of our exposure to dysfunctional relationships. I suspect an integrated empath = an integrated, balanced and happy human being.
Jeanna Clever --Agreed! I'm healthy with great husband and grown kids with families of their own. We siblings grew up with two narcissistic parents along with fighting and constant turmoil. We use our ability for good and not evil. It made me a terrific mom and wife because I could recognize different needs within my family and I could foster those along with confidence and abilities to my children. If you recognize who you are and what you can do...it can become your greatest strength. God brought me a husband who allows me to feel secure and will make sure I don't overextend myself helping those whom I love. He also keeps people from taking advantage. I'm working on taking better care of myself because I take on worry for others. I remind myself to let go and let God...say my prayers and then recharge. You're right... We can also be very healthy and evolve :-)
I think part of it is that clinical psychologists just don't get much experience with well adjusted and healthy adults in general so it would be very hard to frame.
It's a result from CPTSD, trauma bond, torture. A maladaptive way to cope with stress in early ages and it has to be healed. Now I understand why I felt so uncomfortable in my own skin identifing the SELF with those "empaths" traits and almost forcing myself to put it in act to have crumbles of safety.
If an " empath" doesn't take the courage to come out of denial to see reality and feel all the suppressed pain and guilt, he will stay stuck
keeping falses believes and a naif narrative of a gifted and special person just like the narcissist does.
Empaths are very susceptible to being codependent. It's the "dance" between the codependent and narc.
I personally believe both codependents and narcs are empaths. It explains how narcs read codependents and know how to manipulate them. I see cod's and narcs as two sides of the same coin.
The only way out of abuse as a cod empath is to take responsibility for your cod and break the spell the narc can weave over the cod. It's how I have healed after 7 years of shadow work.
God bless.
I started having terrible headaches. My blood pressure skyrocketed. I was under so much stress in that environment until I left.
Ms Heiress Roxy Kudos for getting out! The stress and anxiety of dealing with these people can seriously affect one’s health. No bueno!
the suffering is severe and it is long lasting, there is no time left for, lets say..living a life.
probably the same, as sitting inside a bunker, while bombs are continously dropping down.
It seems that being an empath is so painful. I am looking forward to learning how one can use this positively.
It can be done. Spend a lot of time alone in nature, meditate, study, and reflection of your past (specifically facing the most painful memories) will help. Everyone’s path is different, but these key things, which I practice routinely, helped me turn a curse into a power of sorts. When you become strong and learn to control it, seeing the confused look on the faces of those narcs from your past when they see you is quite amusing. They knew I could see behind their mask. Stay strong and don’t stop working on yourselves.
It's painful without knowledge. Keep learning and taking steps to learn how to be very aware of what you need. It's beautiful if managed well.
They write powerful novels, symphonies, move audiences to tears. They counsel the depressed, feed the homeless, care for the dying. Idk what else but there’s more.
words your words let me guess you're one and definitely not a narcissistic? Sometimes they don't do anything fantastical and just get by like most everyone else. Sometimes they're not even wonderful world healers 🙄
Kyle Abrams original comment was about using it positively not just getting by. Obviously not everyone wants to do something positive, so thanks for calling me a narcissist
I love this guy, I wish American psychology would learn more about empathy and not call us all Codependents.
The problems come when codependent/empath is an enabler.
It is the foundations of codependency. And it's poor self awareness in any case.
Good to see you sir. Please make a video on toxic internalised shame and anger.
and remorse
yess.... ...
@@maura1686 another yes ....
my vote also counted
Brene Brown has some excellent material on shame.
Brilliant man and brilliantly explained -
Dealing with a narcissist has caused me to reassess my relationship as she made me question my reality by telling me my reality wasn’t correct ? Her being an older sister caused destruction and cutting her out of my life as she needed me to depend on her for more control
I am an empath and it has taken most of my life to even know that I am one. I so appreciate that you are taking the time to do this series. I know it will help a lot of us immensely! THANK YOU!
Really then you cannot be an Empath not a True Empath
Or you would of sensed it Within yourself & always known
A hint is
An Empath doesn't have a "Self' as such
An Empath is a purely Energised Energy in a body
The mind gets bypassed completely the intellect also gets bypassed
We don't "think' as such
We are just a Life Force that recognises life as Life itself
Sees all Life as a WHOLE is WHOLE (Holy as them religions call it)
Is Born as such
Is a complete Truth teller
Can't won't lie or manipulate that's all psychological/intellectual that does that
Example an Empath true Empath wouldn't be vaccinated against covid wouldn't of conformed followed done it wouldn't allow themselves to be
Because they listen to themselves the Energies to Life within, they just KNEW KNOW it wasn't needed necessary or going to be Good for them on any level,
An Empath eats health exercises regularly always does thier Best in everything is honest has integrity ect
An Empath can & will defend Herself
Can will use violence if necessary
Has a huge 'sense' of life evolution of life understanding all life supports all life so always wants everyone being doing thier BEST for all LIFE FORCE not just parts of it
Is in tune with Connecting to LIFE FORCE as a WHOLE
Just sees gets Knows Understands Life without anything but what comes from Within
No teachings/guides required
I am also an empath
I’m so excited for this new series! You’ve educated so many people who’ve been psychologically and often physically tormented by aggressive cluster B personality types.
So people with adhd ?🤣 pick a better argument sweetheart
This can be summed up as the empath's biggest problem is society as this world is emotionally, spiritually, and mentally diseased which is like dropping the bomb on the empath so for many this world is hell where basically you have to be almost anything else other than being an empath to survive. Some wonder why some empaths even become misanthropes and avoidants without putting much if any thought as to why, I have hell some days enduring extroverts because of this.
I used to feel overloaded so much, it’s long story but my physical symptoms were diagnosed as fibromyalgia a while ago. Turns out it wasn’t, it was cptsd after chronic devaluation by my disordered sister over a period of two years. I didn’t know at the time about the narcissists playbook and now that I’ve gone no contact (she attacked me a year ago because I refused to validate her twisted reality) I’ve found my answers and healed from the abuse. My sister has lost her supply and I will never again exchange authenticity for approval. I addressed my misguided belief systems and my emotional boundaries are now carved in stone. It not what happens, it’s how you deal with it and it’s never too late to learn new skills to protect yourself from these miserable emotional predators. You win by escaping and becoming the real you in your freedom from their tyranny. So many empaths don’t even realise that they were brainwashed in childhood into becoming trapped in abusive and controlling relationships. Thank you so much for your work and I’m looking forward to the rest of this series.
Nice comment, I like.
I sincerely appreciate your work. Looking forward to this series immensely. The note on pride hit home with me. Would you please touch on empath blind spots or tendencies when it comes to parenting. I’m committed to parenting the best I can and stopping this dynamic. It’s hard to change what you might not see. Your work is appreciated and impactful.
Want to be friends online im a empath like i need someone who genunily knows what im going through
We are perfectionists.
Yes we are perfectionist!
Oh God, me too. Great suggestion. So important to break the cycle. For the future generation.
Your objective and clinical overview of empaths is refreshing. There are many New Age -type videos on the subject, and I feel they have their place. I don’t believe, however, they are of much help when the empath actually needs it.
'There's been a wounding to their basic sense of safety in the world, their basic right to fundamentallly exist, especially in a physical body'... this rings true and brought tears to my eyes, please elaborate and give some examples. Thank you and God bless you.
Looking forward to seeing you again also. Thank you for all your efforts.
This is the most accurate and brilliant read on an empath that i have seen. I actually cried, thanks for this
This empath learned how to let go.. Cut off toxic energy. Through forgiveness and a very valuable lessons.
I would never describe myself as being an empath. However, I have noticed that I do become ill if I have to be around them even if I am not aware at that point in time that they are narcissists. I would like to offer that the main reason why empaths can not receive nourishment from their environment is because they have been groomed not to. In being raised in a narcissistic home, you are not allowed to need anything nor expect anything from your parents. When you are a child and if you are hurt, maybe at school, you can not go to your parents to receive any kind of compassion or advice. You are shamed and told to stand on your own two feet. So, later on, it becomes a very bizarre feeling to receive kindness from others even though you may be the most overtly kind person in your class/office/church/etc. I will be very keen on what you have to say about "blind spots" and disassociation in your future videos!
Thank you so much for your generosity in putting these videos together for us! They make us feel as if we have a place to go where we are with our own kind.
You are a blessing! Much love and gratitude for all of your work!
Thank you! Looking forward to the series.
Questions for Dr. Sa’ad: 1) Based upon your definition in the video above, the definition of an Empath is dependent upon a Narcissist to give them (the Empath) context for existing. Dr. Sa’ad, can not an Empath authentically exist outside of and independent of a Narcissist and/or a Narcissistic construct? (Said another way: Are you of the opinion that an Empath is born highly intuitive and empathetic FIRST and it’s not until the Empath is targeted by a Narcissists that the Empath’s inherently intuitive nature can be weaponized against the Empath by the Narcissist?)
2) Can you please clarify if you are labeling “Empaths” as a pathology? Or do you consider Empaths as whole and complete human beings who just happen to have extra sensory abilities?
Dr. Sa’ad, I’m not trying to be snarky...I legitimately want to know. You are one of the few -if not only clinical psychologist/therapist that has ever openly acknowledged the existence of Empaths AND you are not condescending about it. 🤲🏼
So thank you in advance for clarifying your Point Of View and providing some context. I look forward to reading your responses.
CitoyenMundial great questions, I was also wondering about the pathology reference . Sometimes it feels like that’s the case.
I would like answers to your?s as well
I honestly seeing being an empath as a strength but in the past I didn't have the understanding on how to protect myself by setting boundaries, etc. The key is not get into a relationships that don't serve us either with being a narcissist or someone we have to care for. I did the second at the cost of my own well being. Personally I think we are born this way but I think that parents should have more information how to raise kids who are empathic so they can instill self care and self protection.
Life tobelived yes agreed ! My great nephew has had some depression / extreme sensitivity etc and just the other day I suggested to my niece ( his mom) that she look into empaths because I believe he is one.
Dr Sa ad is one of the only to speak of the pathology of the empath, I concur with him, when so many others on utube speak of it as a desired almost "glorified spiritual personality" capable of incredible gifts. I think to find comparative opinions with Dr. Sa ad one has to look at the Codependency literature, and that of what was previously called hyper or over sensitive people. Codependent, or empathic people have issues, but are NOT part of the dark triad of personality disorders that Narcissists and Borderlines are. We as "emptaths" must not fall into the new false belief of great gifts of spirits. Rather we are wounded and we need to heal in order to stop attracting the narcs in life. It's like our wounds leak blood and Narc Sharks smell it, put on their love bombing and get us.
Glad your back! Before I did some really good (and lots of) inner child work I was one of the really sensitive empaths. I am developing some really good boundaries now and learning to honor and clearly speak my needs. I appreciate this type of education for our world. Thank you!
Thankyou you do know Empath better than anyone else I've heard or talked to. Your helping me understand myself much deeper , I've always wondered why I am this way because although I love being an Empath and having a big heart ,it hasn't served me well. I've learned the extremely hard way from taking in homeless people and losing my home and becoming homeless myself because I didn't have the heart to turn people away to having a physically abusive Narcissists boyfriend for the last 7 years. I've been working on myself for two years now and made progress because of videos and help from wonderful caring people like yourself! Keep producing your content you are making a huge difference in people's life's. Aloha
Thank you for covering this topic. I look forward to your next video.
Disclaimer: I am thinking out loud.
So what is the alternative? Our "empathy" serves a function. It allows us to get into a favorable relationship with people so that they will be less likely to pose a danger to us. It allows us to predict danger by seeing/feeling things from other people's perspectives.
But what's the alternative? To be blind to danger and to suffer discomfort, injury, disadvantage or death from danger.
I ask the reader, what is your worst possible outcome if you switched off empaty? Perhaps it would be like losing eye sight and re-adjusting to walking around without seeing anything. My worst imaginable outcome would be to become a social outcast, getting rejected by everyone and not getting my basic needs met and not being able to survive as a consequence. Another side to this worst outcome would be that I would do inappropriate things without knowing they are inapropriate and make people angry and perhaps suffer their agression without meaning to provoke it. This aggression could be physical or them shouting or ridicule or getting ostracized by everybody forever.
One would need a guarantee of some sorts, that the worst case scenario mentioned above won't happen or at least that it won't be as bad as one thinks it will or could get, to not need this "empathy" defence mechanism.
Is there a non-fearful type of empathy? Is it bad that I can't tell? Would a different correct type of empathy remain if we got rid of the self-defense mechanism of fearful empathy? I did not expect to raise such interesting questions.
Can anyone relate and does anyone feel like they have some answers to the questions I posted above? It might help everybody involved. I belive that through understanding, we can change our disfunctional behaviours. As for me, there are a lot of blind spots or whatever you wanna call them. I mean to say I don't know a lot of things.
Try The Wisdom of the Enneagram by Don Richard Riso I got a lot of help from it Wish you the Best
@@debroo2128 Idk if I'll read it on account of me not being much of a reader and also an extreme cheapskate, but thanks. It sounds like a good book, actually.
This is really good. I am the oldest and felt as though I had to take care of my siblings. As an adult I do not want to deal with conflict. I had a hard time asking for help. My dad (RIH) used to mention pride since I refused to ask for help.
I don’t think it’s pride. It’s more like we don’t think we deserve it. We undervalue ourselves and our own needs. If we’re exposed to narcissistic abuse, we’re treated like we don’t deserve it, so it reinforces that belief.
zarralinda totally agree
So good to see you back again. Have missed your work and your models and insights. Bless you.
It is not lost on me that You-Sir, have the perfect Temperament for engaging an Empath... Every video is like another piece to the puzzle.
So good to see you again. I have learned the hard way that being an empath is not all unicorns and rainbows ... Looking forward to your thoughts.
So well explained! I Recognize myself here, and it is as you mentioned, but only if I am in a romantic relationship with a predator. In other cases I am able to protect myself (much better).
Thank you so much Dr. Saad. This has put my mind at rest & things have clicked into place.
Had recent experience at an outdoor festival where I felt so overwhelmed emotionally & physically I had to go home.
Now I realise I was probably picking up others' emotions & stress at the noisy, hot & stressful environment!
You are so inciteful, kind & gentle. Thank you so much for all that you do to help people recover. Xx
You nailed it !!!! So accurate . You bring me hope. Just the fact that as a psychologist you dare to venture outside of what is acknowledged in the DSM, brings many of us a sense of relief ! The word “ energy “ is so important when talking about empaths. For many years I kept telling people I was affected by the energy around me and I was looked as if I was exaggerating or being egocentric by my “ special powers .” Thank you for seeing us!
Thank-you so much for making us a valid personality type! Love your work, it continues to help me so much!
Me too! My doctor(s) are concerned, and can not touch what you said. Do not have the words or knowledge you do, Thanks Doctor!
Thank you!!! Can not wait for more videos, l need to learn how to function better as an empath.
Absorbing the emotions.
Sometimes when I walk into a place I am hit by a brick of negative energy. It's like a switch it's that fast. I immediately think 'they don't like me' which is so self sabotaging. Other times I will walk on the road and within split seconds of seeing certain individuals I am hit with a truck of bad energy. Similar to a sword turning inwards. I always thought that person doesn't like me but really you are picking up 'their' energy, it has nothing to do with up what so ever.
Thank you so much. I now know that even though i am 70 and thought I had worked it all out, I still need to grow up and learn to protect my inner child. I am ready for it and will follow your series on empaths. Thereafter, if needed, I will seek your online counselling. Late in life but never too late!!
I'm not saying I'm an empath, because to me, this seems to be the highest "level" a Human can attain. But there are times I am so deeply moved by emotional interactions I see between people, that it brings me to tears. Perhaps I am just very sensitive to such things. And the effect my environment has on me, is astounding. Bright lights, too much noise, too much stimuli, and I get panicked!
Very interested in this new series you're putting out. I hope to learn much from it, thank you!😊
Thank you so very much for this video, I’m looking forward to this series as I move forward embracing my inner empath ; while being aware of the glitches it can create. This is fantastic work you’re doing. All the best to you with gratitude 😊
Looking forward to this new series! Only recently realized I am an empath and am learning so much from your videos, to cope and care for myself. I didn't know how to handle emotional exhaustion and lack of trust in others (sourced from a narcissist). After feeling like I'm always being used for advice and support and then being ditched, never feeling like I fit in or belong anywhere; I isolated myself which I think I took too far. Hoping to learn some skills on how to enter back into the social world, to feel more well equipped as an empath.
I physically feel others pain to the point sometimes I wonder if something's wrong with me then I realize it's them and I need to be praying for them I once thought I was having a heart attack but it was somebody that was close to me who was having heart issues I found out after
I do feel others pain as well, physical or emotional. They don't need to be close to me, if they just tell me what happened or describe their pain, I feel it in my body. I call it my superpower because it helps me understand them better
@@feminineresilience I can even see the ocean waves when my relatives left their families behind in those 2 months steamboats trips to look for better opportunities in another continent. It is a paranoia.
Yes, I also sense health issues. I knew that my dad had died before I was told. Also when I was told my mother was dying I decided to go visit her. After that visit I knew that she was not dying after being told by two doctors that she was. I asked another doctor to run labs, her actual doctor, who stated that he was hoping I would call and gratefully ran more labs. These lab results show that she was definitely not dying and was taken out of hospice immediately. That was the first case of someone being taken out of hospice in the history of Floyd County Iowa.
@@jackiedunlap835 that sounds more like being intuitive. Because our intuition can tell us these things without us being empaths. Everyone has intuition whether they listen to it or not, but not everyone is an empath.
@@jackiedunlap835 I am so glad you could save your mom! It is amazing! I couldn't save my parents from my narc brother doctors' hands and I am sure they died at least 10 years before they were supposed to die.
Very helpful. Now I better understand the empaths in my life ❤
I was in Viet Nam for 2 yrs, as a infantry man, and the sight of suffering, of humans and animals, crushes my soul. I do have PTSD, but I always been this way. My older sister would tell people about the animals I would find, and bring home. Lucky to have had a family with heart.
I admire how you seamlessly blend the metaphysical with the psychological.
Absolutely spot on. This is so helpful; I'm a recovering empath and this is perfect in helping me to understand how I have functioned. I'm happy to report that progress is being made so please don't give up on yourself if you too identify with this information.
Thank you! I'm an empath and this makes a lot of sense, looking forward to hearing more.
this makes a lot of sense to me. you're on the money regarding the vulnerable/anti-vulnerable psych states & the blindness of the empath to those states because of pride. keep the careful critique comin' doc!
Im about to start your next video on the empaths inner workings.
I am a dead empath. Or rather a Wrath. My inner child became Wrath, but was also the co-dependent aspect. I destroyed my codependency, my inner child vanished, and Im left with Wrath.
I do feel love for my family, but aside from them, apathy or wrath is what I mostly feel.
I started life as an empath and was forced to stand strong for all those who couldnt.
This is how someone goes over to The Dark Side.
This is a really great talk Abdul. Uncomfortable and not easy to accept, but necessary to understand. You have elucidated some aspects I had not known before. Thanks.
I m an Empath...Buy I m very independent ....Also I m very good at guarding myself from Evil people....I m very thankful to you for a very understanding description on Empaths...God bless you.🎉
For the first time in my life I feel understood. Thank you very much, this is very helpful, glad I found you!
SO glad you are doing this series. It is helping my understanding already!!
This man understands empaths.
Born an empath became co-dependent, used and abused by people only to become an introvert almost to the point of hermit trying to understand and survive and heal.
Thank you for such an informative video. I've only recently started diving into the Empath deal. I'm enjoying this new trip of knowledge.
Finally, someone who will give us some real tools, besides villainizing narcissists and demanding no contact!
I'm going to need that information that you have coming in these future videos because I don't know how to do that
Valuable information! Now I understand why I was having health issues when I was married to a narc that disappeared after we divorced!
Thank you for your videos! You really hit it on the head with your description of the characteristics of empaths. I am a empath and I have struggled a lot in my life with the negative aspects that can arise in a empaths life, when we don’t follow our intuition, and give too much of ourselves to others, and don’t ask for help when needed. I am learning more about the pros and cons of being a empath so that I can manage my life better, and in return help others who are not going to extort my giving and helping nature for their personal gain. I use to think being so caring and being a Empath was a negative trait, in this world we live in today, but really it’s beautiful because why else were we put on this earth, if it was not to help others overcome their burdens, pain, and struggles in life?
Dr. Abdul, you are a genius! This describes me to a T. My mother had narcissistic personality disorder, and I am both an highly sensitive person and an empath. I have learned so much from you.
Excellent video! This really fits! Also, can you explain in a video about the psychologcal development of the empath? What exactly created the empath? And what age or age range the empath develops?
You make perfect sense. This describes me. I avoid conflict in the workplace more than at home because I don't feel well in conflicting environments as it causes much distress - I need harmony or I just don't thrive. Thank you Dr. Saad.
Love ❤️ your video. Kudos from Anchorage Alaska 🌸💐👍🌹
Sassy Lass that is great my fellow Alaskan 🌹 Happy 4th of July 🇺🇸
Great beginning here in this new series. I hope by the final episode you will be able to give us tips on how to prevent ourselves from getting vampire-ized.. Yes, I know. Boundaries. But further specifics would be very helpful. Thanks . Happy this topic is finally being addressed in detail.
You are saving me thousands of dollars and countless hours sitting on a therapist's couch, by producing these quality videos, which are worth their weight in gold. Thank you! 💜
Very helpful. Looking forward to the series. Being an empath can be so debilitating because of super-sensitivity. Thank you :)
I must say, you sir are very smart, being an empath is very lonely and always misunderstood by most conflict happens and we with draw,once again, and the cycle keeps going funny how no one ever wants to know us and yet that is what we need.
Thankyou Dr, you've helped me so much in your previous series. Your approach challenges me to step away from victim- hood and do the inner work rather than stay stuck, angry and "victimised".
When i saw the title 'what is an empath?' I thought oh no it will cover old ground for me but it didn't. I can see I've made some steps forward from watching many UA-cam vids but certainly looking forward to your next videos. As always 'Thanks '
😊👍👍Thank you for your unique descriptions of empaths. I always refer to myself as a humanitarian and still believe I am but also know the distress of being an Empath by actually feeling another person's stories (happy or sad) as they tell them. Also, the energies in a place or a room full of people. So strong sometimes I have to close myself off for protection from the emotional distress these feelings can overwhelm me with.
wow that last comment about that separate group really hit me. I always say I can't handle being around my mother for long and recently I've started dissociating. it's just crazy to know how all my problems are connected. thank you.
Am so glad I found this site.
Very few people understand what it's like to feel other people's emotions, pain, fear, anger, etc. It feels like the feelings are mine.... How can you not help? Need to learn. Makes me physical ill. I put other's need ahead of mine consistently. Only solution I have found is isolation, and relationships with animals.
Complicating it is a high level of intuition, often knowing that something bad is going to happen to someone. Overwhelmed, not functioning, physically ill. Feel like my so called friends only keep me around as a go to when their lives fall apart with no reciprocation when I need support.
Thank You for doing this series. I work in the field of Psychology. Can't help myself. My partner is a Medical Psychologist, multiple doctorates in the mental health field; but you can't really help someone you Love. It just doesn't work. Most Psychologists don't understand this, even if they believe one is an Empath (rarely). Anything beyond the documented 5 senses is not something they want to touch, or know how to deal with.
Namaste.
OMG. Thank you. You're meant to help us. You must have come for this because you're amazing at seeing into so many components in in-depths and unique ways. As I hear you speak, I can see it all, but couldn't have explained it, and most of it I've thought was "just me" until even learning about narcs and the scapegoated empath dynamics. I have these issues! I thought I was just broken somehow. I guess I am, and I don't know how to be other than these things as I've never known anything else and have no body memories or mental memories of being different.
This way of being is all I've known, and I've heard of memories and past emotions being stored in all tissues of the body. I don't know if it's truly possible to completely be what a person could be if a person had been able to grow up in a decent environment and hadn't been a scapegoated empath from day one. I don't know if it's possible to completely be something very workable as a human being after knowing only this, but it's relieving to at least know these traits were created in me because of the dynamics I grew up in, and not just because I am a failure and screwed up somewhere early in life, which I what I've thought for so long. I've beat myself up my entire life for not being better, for not being able to do better, yet I've strived so hard to overcome the limits I've experienced all along. I don't know how far I can transform, but I will always do my best to. For my own sake. And then that can radiate out and help others in that way. I have at least stopped giving so much of myself out anymore. At least I'm not leaking my energy out everywhere like I'd been and unwittingly letting so many people use me up. Thank you, Abdul.
I keep hearing people explain that empaths “absorb” the energy of others- as if they passively absorb it whether they choose to or not-
I think it’s better to say an empath can sense amd correctly read the energy of others to give the empath a very precise measure of the degree to which other people’s words amd actions are in alignment with how they actually think and feel.
In other words, empaths have a very precise measurement of other people’s degree of honesty vs deception.
This gives the empath a strong sense of the true character of those they seek to know the true intentions of- we are very good judges of character-
This gives us an internal radar that sends us warning signals to protect us amd give us insight into the possible dangerous trajectory of continuing to pursue becoming entangled with dishonest people or carelessly going down a path that will lead to ruin.
This is a tremendous gift. We see danger before most people are aware of it.
This extraordinary skill can make empaths seem more sensitive from an objective viewpoint if such an empath is the victim or narcissist abuse or longing for closeness and meaning with others , but have not yet learned how to draw firm boundaries with those of whom would mistreat them.
Once an empath knows how to properly view themselves, and accepts that most people do not wish for true and authentic, meaningful relationships with them - they will learn how to choose the company they keep much more wisely .
Then they can begin to eliminate the people that are parasites to them, amd begin to see amd cultivate other empathathetic friends and family where there is a mutual amd meaningful relationship.
Being an empath is a tremendous gift - but for many empaths who are anxiety ridden becasie they constantly worry about how they are perceived by people who are not equipped to even see our unique traits amd give us the feedback amd nourishment we need, many empaths will always be focused on self - this will absolutely lead to an empath feeling like a social outcast amd acting accordingly.
This will not allow the empath to truly express themselves to their full potential, and will undoubtedly cause the empath to send off negative or awkward energy to those around them.
Until recently I didn't know that feeling how other feels was not a common human trait. My narcissistic father and borderline mother, which ares still alive and been married for 61 years taughr me that feelings didn't matter. If I said I was hungry, my mother would just stare at me and say ¡no, you're not! and since I felt so much determination I thought probably they were right and I was wrong. I didn't get any food and hunger passes after a while anyway. I (the oldest and me and my six siblings survived because in Peru, we have house help, maids, that cared for us even on holidays. But they did come and go , specially if my mother saw we where becoming attached to someone.
Yes, it's funny because I think we all had to learn that not everyone feels these energies. I suspected though, I think, early on.
You're a true genius. May God bless you and have mercy on your soul. Amin!
Thank you for this valuable information. Looking forward to future videos on this topic.
Great!!! My life has changed so much for good after watching your videos 😊 Thanks Always!!! Now I can help other persons and recommend your videos 😊 Have a great life!!!
So happy to see you again! I've been missing your videos lately...excited about this new series. Thank you!
Fantastic and so well articulated as always.. 🗣As a Genuine Empath over the years I found Many Covert Narcissist say that they are Empaths also to get you hooked and share your secrets..And like clockwork they then systematically harm you.. Im 54 yr old Retired teacher and when meeting anybody I hear there biography of life and if Always a Victim leave immediately and save yourself.. Love the beard btw 😉Can’t wait for next video 🙏🏻
I have suffered abuse my whole life! My father a narcissist, my mother unmedicated bi-polar, my older brother diagnosed as “anti-social personality disorder”, my younger sister a narcissist. I married a psychopath who may not be a murderer in the typical sense, however, he has spent his adult life killing myself and our children slowly. It’s been a nightmare life for myself, a middle child who was and is picked on by her whole family all while they watch the abuse my children and I have suffered at the hands and mind of my now ex husband. He stole my children knowing he could do whatever he wanted and he has done whatever he can to destroy me piece by piece.
Being a Empath is the best worst gift I could imagine.
Thanks Abdul, great explanation
The Master, the Guru is back with breath taking education. Welcome back the best psychologist in the world.
Finally a video which represents ways of problem solving.
Not saying "oohh those people are god sent warriors"
We are full of problems that need to be solved.
Thank you for the professional solid approach, will check many of your other videos
It's been nine years I escaped abusive household and started to train my inner child and parent
Still a lot of work to be done.
I audibly said, "Yes!" 6 times, to myself while watching this. Your videos have been so helpful. Thank you for sharing your knowledge and experience! Looking forward to this series!!
Thank you so, so much for this, and for all of your work, Dr. Saad. I've gained enormous understanding from your previous videos, but this one explains my whole life: I am a "textbook example" of what you describe here, constantly oscillating between the two modes of function you outlined, and undermined by the insidious factor of pride. I'm eager for your next video, to learn what to do next now that I'm armed with this self-knowledge!
Thank you. This helps. I could not find a safe place when a child. Now this makes sense-- explains why I become physically ill during what are to me stressful occasions. Thank you.
Thank you its so hard at times look forward to hearing more god bless you x
Your videos are absolutely brilliant. Thank you for sharing your wisdom on YT.
I am very interested in this series. I look forward to your videos on this subject.
Im a empath i thank God for you because its so hard!!!! I take on other emotions as though. I am them even with out being near. Them.
I know what you mean
I’m happy people like you understand. It’s very validating after a life of being abused and gaslighted. My heart aches for those that experienced this before the term was acknowledged. They must’ve felt batshit crazy. May all those who have been abused be Blessed with Healing, Support, and Love in Jesus Name
So glad to have you back, doctor! I empathize with everybody, mostly with my relatives, and my life is a constant torment. I feel I don't have the right to live, to be happy, because I didn't do my best to relieve the pain of my relatives. My conscience is always in the past. I feel they gave me so much and I reciprocate so little, even though I was the one, among the youngs, who most reciprocate.
Thanks, Dr. Saad. Looking forward!
Very informative! You are so clear spoken, and precise in what you say. Much appreciated!