Dude, Im having a headache a while ago thinking about things that stress me out and then this comment made me feel better, then suddenly my headache is gone.
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I also totally loved the part what she said after this, "Go after something that creates meaning in your life and then TRUST YOURSELF to handle the stress that follows." We often lose trust in ourselves whenever we face adversities, and I think this quote makes you look back on why you chose to pursue something difficult and makes you trust yourself more because you're the one who made the decision thus your body will help you overcome it as long as you trust yourself.
I can’t believe this video has been available for 10 years and I’m only seeing it now. Thankfully Steven Bartlett referenced this exact TED Talk in his new book. My favourite part was actually Kelly’s response on avoiding or embracing stressful situations: “Go after what it is that creates meaning in your life, and then trust yourself to handle the stress that follows.”
She is a psychologist. Her work is to talk with people and help them. As they say, a psychiatrist can talk a happy man, to sad. They know how to put words and make you say "That Lady is sharp."!
Just remember fear is a illusion and you’re not your thoughts, your lower self is what wants you to be stressed, depressed etc. But your higher self is what tells you God is with you and you’re good regardless and that’s what you need to listen to, I even made a video on this and connecting with your higher self, stay blessed 💯🙏
I think this could also be related to serotonin’s connection to self-esteem. Caring for & being cared for by others can affect your sense of self-worth/confidence, which in turn affects your serotonin (& mood regulation) levels.
Osho would likely discuss the dangers of external validation and the importance of inner peace when addressing dependency on others and its effects on an individual's self-esteem, confidence, and serotonin levels. He would emphasize that personal happiness and value must be found independently of others' approval, as reliance on external validation can risk losing one's inner worth and authenticity. Desiring approval and validation from others can be natural, but Osho would point out that depending on others is not a healthy way to build self-esteem and confidence. He would stress the importance of turning to one's inner resources, self-sufficiency, working on oneself, and finding inner happiness. In this process, meditation and mindfulness practices can help an individual overcome their dependency on external approval and lead a more independent, free, and joyful life. According to Osho, dependency on others may have a temporary and external effect on serotonin levels and overall happiness, but true and lasting happiness comes from an individual's own inner strength, love, and acceptance. Therefore, finding one's inner peace and happiness is more critical than the effort to please others.
"Chasing meaning is better for your health than avoid discomfort...so the best way to make decision is to go after what creates meaning in your life and then trust yourself to handle the stress that follows" ❤
I love that ending, it is beautifully phrased! Chasing meaning will always be scary but it will be worth it in the end. Discomfort should not hold us back from our dreams. We have to push through those feelings. The most important thing is indeed to rely on ourselves. Stress is our friend and supports us. Stress will always be by our side to give us energy and prepare us to meet this new challenge. But only if we have the right mindset. Mindset is everything!
@@annahms4539 well explained. I am going to carry this on every journey I take in my life. You really opened my eyes thank you. I always struggle choosing a path worried about wats going to come ahead, the discomfort exactly, but at the end of the day its worth choosing something that has meaning in your life because its going to be worth it, every struggle and sweat. 💌
This is why when I am stressed about my financial situation, I volunteer at a animal shelter or rescue organization. I can't describe the joy I feel helping homeless animals get better, and getting them one step closer to a forever home. Volunteering doesn't change my financial situation, it improves my happiness, and ultimately my life.
Just remember fear is a illusion and you’re not your thoughts, your lower self is what wants you to be stressed, depressed etc. But your higher self is what tells you God is with you and you’re good regardless and that’s what you need to listen to, I even made a video on this and connecting with your higher self, stay blessed 💯🙏
I've actually found, as someone who has suffered with chronic anxiety, that when I purposefully tried to view my bodies anxious response/symptoms just as excitement or something else POSITIVE, it has helped! Super important topic!!!
Great l felt like you and when I thinking all bad something happen to me has a good side to my life I really feel better and that make me more happier and healthier I hope to you good health
I so glad I found this video and I hope this helps me in the long runs cause I rlly want to turn my life around and the only thing holding me back is my anxiety and fear of stress. Best wishes!
I have a friend who is a doctor, has a very interesting theory that anxiety/ADD/ADHD are not "disorders" but rather, left over evolutionary traits that don't quite fit into our modern world. Think about it - thousands of years ago, the people who survived were the people constantly on the lookout for danger. It was a positive trait way back then! Not sure if I fully agree with this theory, but it DOES make quite a bit of sense to me.
I agree - I've been trying this recently and it works. Sometimes we even misinterpret anxiety as negative when it could be something happy or exciting.
Read her book: The Upside of Stress. It's about 1,000 studies that cover all of this. The reference section lists all the studies. I'm not actually recommending the book: all the studies got kind of tedious.
One of them was from the University of Wisconsin. When they show the slides during the talk they’re referenced in the bottom right hand-corner. The authors, org, year and title of the peer-reviewed article are there. I heard JSTOR is free now so it should be easier to access them.
Around seven years after seeing this, I'm here retrospectively to say a huge thank you, this has SAVED my life! Starting from a ridiculous, stress-induced medical file, I've since been involved in far more stressful projects and situations, but with zero adverse health effects. Stress doesn't kill but fear of stress might...
“how you think and how you act can change your experience of stress. ” ›choose to view your stress response (heart pounding, palm sweaty, etc) as helpful, it'll bring joy and courage into your life. ›choose to connect with others under stress, you can create resilience. Literally the whole point is CHANGING OUR VIEW about our stress response, and BUILDING CONNECTION with someone during stress moment, to be happier and healthier also live longer. Good luck everyone!
It is about how you decide to think about it. Like she was saying, you need to change your perception of stress. I remember how when reading psychology still in high school ( University student of psychology these days), my teacher and I got talking about stress and what he said was that " Stress is a sign that you care about the thing that is stressing you out. " - that really struck me. By approaching things differently and seeing them in a different light, you can actually rechannel your psyche to limits you were not even aware of. In this it is your whole body from physical to psychological responses readying you to perform a situation that has a lot of stimulus. Stimulus which does not have to be a bad thing if you decide to just relax and let go. This allows you to perform in front of an audience and be yourself without having to worry you make mistakes, because we all do. It is normal and humane, nothing embarrassing to worry about. These days I do not even care if people laugh when I make mistakes, I laugh at it too. In the same way I came to find that bad experiences can be channeled to be good experiences instead. For example I was diagnosed a lethal case of Chron's disease in my high school. Even though the experience was really hard because it nearly took my life, now looking back at it the person I was about to become (brat) and the person I am today then I am much rather the person i became trough that experience and with that experience than to be the person I would have been if it never happened to me in the first place. I found that finding the good in the bad is the key of dealing with hardship. Criticism? Sure, it feels frustrating at the moment. But that is until you realize that you can actually turn criticism to a useful tool for self improvement. Alright, I made a mistake doing this or that, but hey now I at least know what I need to pay attention to so I can work on that so I no longer have to make the same mistake again. All of this and so many more other things in your life is only a matter of perspective. What is it you decide to take from your experience and how you decide to view different experiences.
***** Oh well you can choose to see everything you want, nobody is stopping you. Then again, I am relatively convinced that saying something along the lines of: " You suck. " - is not a very compelling argument.
***** I get that but actually there is actually evidence to suggest that what she is saying is true. As I study psychology, one thing I have learnt is that one another reason why stress is actually good because it grows you as a person and helps you to grow conflict solving skills which in turn make you better at dealing with daily-life issues. Of course we also must observe what are the issues we face in modern technological climate. When you look at Dr. Geri Puleo's video and the American capital culture then I think that the environment is an issue there. People have this sense of " I have not make X amount of money or else " and work their brains out which is not a healthy model of functioning. And Dr. Geri Puleo points out why. So there is a grain of truth in thinking that too much stress is your enemy and that is a really good question to ponder where the lines go. I think that these changes to how we perceive things work as a good coping mechanism to a point and allows us to tolerate it better. But obviously if the environment is absolutely toxic to the condition of your mental health as you get absolutely crushed by the amount of stress stimulus, you need to get out for your own sake. To this problem I think that being self-aware your limits is the key. To know how much work you can do, what you need and want and to try to relax and not feel so much pressure about having everything tip tap perfect always. You consume so much energy unnecessarily by being too harsh to yourself and not allowing yourself to forgive yourself and give yourself a break from time to time. I think this is where the biggest problems come and Dr- Geri Puleo also touched this particular aspect too and I agree with her. For example I went to study Psychology not because of the money or pressure, not because I could not have gone elsewhere but simply because that is the sort of thing I enjoy doing in my personal life and professionally too. Analyzing, helping people etc. I am not concerned to become a corporate leader but I think that many have this sense of extreme pressure to perform as an idolized ideal without actually asking themselves what is enough for them to life a satisfied life. Also, thank you for apologizing. It really reflects your character well as a mature responsible human being that you are. =)
***** Have you been diagnosed with depression? Because what I can read from your text, it might be that the reason why you feel that it is hard for you to pick up the pieces might be that you have depression as a follow up symptom from the utter burnout that you experienced and all the luggage that comes along with it. In any case, I appreciate you telling me this and talking about these issues to someone really helps. Trust me on that. I wish you all the best and keep of fighting warrior spirit. You'l make it.
This works for more things than stress, For example if you would go sporting and you'd believe that you won't lose weight or gain muscles you won't gain as fast as if you would think you can do it. Some other study I've seen, I really think that your mindset can change your whole life.
yes, totally agree with you. I am a girl and a fan of sport. But I really don't like have muscles. I always scared that Playing sport and Doing exercise will make my muscle develop. And as a result, my muscle grow even faster than any boy I met. Now I change my mindset already and I feel a lot of changing on my body.:))
Well... i have seriously severe panic attacks and anxiety attacks thanks to years and years of googling my symptoms. Its very unhealthy but in the time of stress or having an anxiety episode, i cannot convince myself that im okay. Its not as easy as some people try to make it out to be. When you're in that moment you can only freak out and think youre dying just for it to drain you later. I hate it. This video actually helped me ALOT.
go to 5:30 and watch it, she explains it right there. next time you sense that you're feeling anxious tell yourself this is your body preparing you to get through the situation and just keep repeating that to yourself
I ran into this new paradigm (for myself and most health professionals, of which I am one) back in Janurary at U of AZ for an intensive 10 day training in many modalities, but focused on Intrerative and Functional Medicine paradigms. Read some comments and she is a naturally gifted presentor, along with all her knoledge and wisdom from experience. There is a book, Stress Teflon by Luke Mathers and I highly recommend it to anyone. It is a no BS way to put all this shift in thinking to actual practicality. The hormone relationship made leaps and bounds with the genome, the Einstein moment for actual individualized health restoration, inhancement, prevention, etc. that "health care" was meant to be. Then the collaboration of professionals from all sciences formulated the Institure for Functional Medicine and it has created a complete new paradigm for how we view and treat illnesses. Instead of the one size fits all formula of the allopathic silo, now the ability to provide whatever the body needs to heal itself is utilized.
I love the conclusion! I had the most terrible time in my life last year. But i had a plenty of family and friends’ support. I also volunteered myself for helping the disabled. I got over very well and faster than i imagined.
00:13 - start 01:21 - study: bad news - 43% risk of dying (182,000 deaths because they believe that stress could cause death) 03:17 - social stress test 04:13 - math test 05:14 - rethink ! 06:50 - how you think about stress matters 07:45 - stress makes you social 10:54 - caring, resilience
Now I know why I grew as an anxious child, because people kept judging me and I didn't rise against my shyness. My life style was pretty lonely too and now that I think about it I was always happier and felt better when hanging around people who accepted me.
People kept on calling me a certain thing throughout my whole life in a shocking manner as if it was a problem; I took it negatively. Even relatives and people that saw me for the first time. At the time I had trouble dealing with the fact that I constantly had to here people say it to me. It was unfortunate that I couldn't see what people said to me as an illusion and I can say that it was my fault for caring what people thought of me at the time. I sometimes didn't do certain things because I didn't want to here people say that certain thing to me.
they laugh because of the fact, that in the studies healthyness is measured by a death counter, while if you hear of normal studies they do search your blood for anomalies, or something.
I love the way we look at the negative things positively. Sometimes, we can not change the situation but we can change our mindset to handle problems well by trying to understand them, approaching them positively, and adjusting our attitude. ❤️👍🏻
Just remember fear is a illusion and you’re not your thoughts, your lower self is what wants you to be stressed, depressed etc. But your higher self is what tells you God is with you and you’re good regardless and that’s what you need to listen to, I even made a video on this and connecting with your higher self, stay blessed 💯🙏
Even though this talk is 6 years old already, I felt that it is still a useful talk. I am the guy who have an experience with stress issue. But after listen to this talk, it totally change my way of thinking. :)
"Never be anxious about the next day, for the next day will have its own anxieties." MATTHEW 6:34. www.jw.org/finder?wtlocale=E&issue=2020-03&pub=g20&srcid=share
Just remember fear is a illusion and you’re not your thoughts, your lower self is what wants you to be stressed, depressed etc. But your higher self is what tells you God is with you and you’re good regardless and that’s what you need to listen to, I even made a video on this and connecting with your higher self, stay blessed 💯🙏
I found this TED Talk 7 years later, but I'm very grateful I did. This perspective will shape how I live for the rest of my life. Thank you Kelly for a super profound and well delivered Ted Talk; and here's to your stress!
'You can trust yourself to handle life's challenges and you're remembering that you don't have to face them alone'. Such a powerful statement! I wish someone had told this to my younger self.
Without fail, I come back to this video every year, and it never fails to be the most profound and life-altering video I have ever come across on the internet.
I am just wowed right now The way she explained with the help of researches and makes you believe that yes it isn't that bad to be stressful, I just love it ❤
Since I have had M.S. for over 50 years, stress has been part of my life. It’s something a person learns to ‘deal with’. Exercising, eating healthy and napping become part of the daily rituals. Seeing my physicians is part of my life too. At least we have Dr.’s we can see! Keeping a positive attitude helps me. The smile on my face helps me too. When I share treat with everyone I meet, I usually get one in return. Barb
"Go after what it is that creates meaning in your life and then trust yourself to handle the stress that follows." I'm living by this intuitively, but I still don't think we need a society loaded with stressors. Thanks for the insights.
To bring hope to those who see none is nothing short of amazing. The speaker beautifully illustrates how those drowning in stress can recover from the daily pressure tests they face through a change in outlook. In my opinion the ability to share and care for each other is the most powerful weapon we have against the daily battle of stress. When we share our problems and help each other we find new perspective into our old problems. You can sum up this video in one sentence. Sometimes to live life to the fullest we have to take a leap of faith together past the stress hurdles we face.
Dang, her confident and fast answer to that question to the end was amazing. Imma find this video every time I remember it so I can remember stress doesn't have to viewed in a negative way
As an experience of my life, I have always felt that working in creative environments creates better works in a stressful environment. I'm sure it was my own way of treating stress, but the story of this woman made me think more about it. Great.
We need to test our own perspectives and tactics to live better on purpose and with purpose. Not one-size fits all approach because of the foundation we begin with. Much success wishes for you. 🙏
I totally agree with what you said and I have practiced the same strategies for the past 20 years. The outcomes have been stunning and I would like to share this to as many people as I can.
@@mennaelatar487 fr ppl be like im soo stressed like bruh just let it pass like a book im reading about overcoming anger and irritability. Anger will pass n slowly but surely dissipate so live life TO THE FULLEST I CAN'T LINGER NO LONGER ON DUM ARGUMENTS WITH FAMILY etc i think this lead to my moms cancer honestly.. 😭😥😢
The former comment to this video is a Indian man, who can concentrate on watching the whole film, I believe the next commenter is a woman, who can distract herself and in another direction saying good at multicast instead.
The last minute is gold ❤️. Now I understand why even in a stressful condition I'm still calm and happy inside. I have a meaningful life, in a place where my calling is ❤️
Its acceptance = less stress, so not resisting it means theres less persistence and you are more healthy. So shes been right all along, but teaching in a way that promotes resistance. Solution: meditate.
2024 (almost ‘25!) I was told one time that I was “stoned on stress” which I took as a compliment! If it wasn’t for some amount of stress no one would get out of bed in the morning. Also I bet gratitude (especially for others) ranks right up there with helping others as far as building that resiliency! Terrific talk! I wish I’d found it sooner.
I am so glad I watched this video. After I watched this video, its really really changed my perspective about stress. This video is so relevant. I'm sure everyone has been under stress for some time. And now, we may also be stressed. During this time, we must have assumed that stress is our enemy. We only know that stress only makes us sick. When we feel stress, our heart must be pounding, and it's uncomfortable. But from this video, I got a new knowledge that stress can makes us healthy. Why? When we change our way of thinking about stress, we can change our body's reaction to stress. In fact, all aspects of our body will respond positively to stress. How? The trick is that we have to get used to looking at negative things positively. Sometimes, we can not change the situation but we can change our mindset to handle the problem well by trying to understand them, approaching them positively, and adjusting our attitude. The point of this video is how we think about something can change the whole situation. After watching this video, Not only do I love this - but I adopted this advice in my own life. 🙌♥
Thank you so much Kelly McGonigal, your talk has changed the way many people think about stress. I used to struggle with stress, probably chronic stress, feeling overwhelmed and alone. I will probably try some of the methods you mentioned in this tedtalk!!
Stardust Gacha I wish we would’ve watched this at school. This is completely life changing, but hey, at least I’ve been taught how to interpret a poem from 300 years ago :D
"Go after what is creating meaning in your life, and then trust yourself to handle what follows." ~Kelly McGonigal h/t Stephan Hovnanian for encouragement to watch the video #tedtalk #stress #stressmanagement
"and yes, your pounding physical heart, working so hard to give you strength and energy." idk why but that line hits me hard. it feels like my body already give their best, their support to me, so i must be so thankful for them.
I can so understand what she has done. I did that a long time ago when i realized that it seemed I would live in steess a lot of my lifetime. So as bad as it was,I decided to embrace it and mentally use it as a stepping stone towards building more character. As a character test so to speak. This is a control issue and when you realize some things you just absolutely have no control over, but you can control how you react.
Coming back to this because my oldest sibling disagreed about how I viewed stress, but I decided to come back and review this video again. I've always thought stress was somewhat meaningful and a part of life as long as I don't overthink it. Facing my stresses, without believing stress is bad for my health, can lead growing as a person as long as I figure out how to handle them (sort of like reactive coping, but with positivity). Glad to back to this video again!
This is an amazing video, I watched it for my psychology class and this framing of stress brought a lot of hope to my future, I hope more people can find this video because I doubt there is anyone, anywhere, that couldn't benefit from this message
I was in a lot of stress trying to figure out my life, my education and how i could help my family. This helped me realize a lot of things in life. Things i could share that could help other people. So that's what i did, i became the friend you always talk to when you have a problem and that made me happy, it made me excited that i was helping and the joy after knowing how things turned out for them after you've helped them, it's amazing. What i did wrong though was i made it a distraction, i was hit by the saying, "that's why you always try to fix others, coz you can't fix yourself" right now i am trying to find myself, trying to help myself, to become better. So i could my family, my friends, and other people in need.
I think this is one of the best TED talk. Also, stress is a magic drug that changes us without medicine. If we deal positively with stress, it will make us grow one step further in our life. Thank you a lot Kelly.
This is so relevant. Honestly I agree with her that stress prepares ourselves for life challenges. I have prepared and taken exams under moderate-stress conditions and the outcomes have been pretty good. Stress indeed prepares us for challenges- make us more focused and more productive!
I directly ran to this video after i just finished her book "The Upside of Stress". Her book is one of those books that life-changing to me. She reshapes my mindset over problems in life and stress
Best advice I've been given about stress. Was being investigated for muscle and nerve issues. After adopting an embracing attitude towards stress, my symptoms have come well under control. So much better than trying to escape stress somehow. Thank you so much.
"Challenge Everything" is a very effective strategy. i learned something in my intensive psych program: avoidance reinforces fear. Literally, by avoiding a fear [say - talking to girls] you are actually becoming worse at talking to girls, and less inclined to do so So in respect to the context of this comment, this means that by trying to run away or avert a scenario you are creating a self-fulfilling prophecy
I know this video is very old but still, thank you, Kelly McGonigal, for sharing such a profound perspective on stress! Your presentation has somewhat changed my life easier today!
My only concern with studies like this is that people can use them to put more pressure on people. Companies can start putting more pressure on people to deliver then tell them that stress is all in their mind. We have to be very careful about how we handle information like this.
This was the comment i was looking for. That's really a danger of this way of thinking, if it gets too popular, even though her points can be very helpful for individuals like us. It's kinda like the way many managers of companies use meditation/mindfulness - when their employees get stressed, they say "I got you this mindfulness course for free, now follow that and you'll get better", and then you have no excuse. An important aspect of meditation is that it's not supposed to have a purpose, you meditate to meditate, not to do a better job at your workplace. You can't relax with that pressure. In the same way, what Kelly McGonigal says should be used for your own benefit, not for the boss to make employees perform better.
Good point but thankfully there are other mechanisms to counter this like civil/employee rights org. It will be easy to establish cases against companies if they go over what accepted human performance can handle. But you are right it could be sort of a grey area!
LJY08 I like Kelly McGonigal and I agree with what she says for the most part, but I agree with this completely. I think this is a tenuous tightrope to walk.
I am nervous and my legs are shaking whenever I have to talk in public. I think that it is my weakness but now I think my body is preparing for me. I will not worry about my shaking legs no more. She teaches about change in perspectives and I think this idea can be applied to almost everything. Whenever I think in black cloud, I will remind myself that the black cloud is not giving darkness but it is going to give rain. Well, yes, dynamic of perspectives, a lesson learned again not only by positive thinking also by scientific evidence. Thank you Tedx and Kelly.
Okay. Let's differentiate here between new-age fluff and actual legitimate science. *positive-thinking mantra*: -I can do anything if I just visualize it, even if I don't work to it much. -My thoughts directly impact the world. -I can change *other things* directly and objectively through my perception. *Actual, productive thinking*: -I will only accomplish as much as I am willing to work for it. -My thoughts impact my perspective of the world. The chips sometimes aren't in my favor. My thoughts don't change that--they just let me play another hand. -I can change myself, and thus the world, through my perception of it. When life gives me lemons, I'll give people lemonade. So, no, for all of those super-cynics who tout their pessimism like a trophy glorifying their oh-so 'contrarian' viewpoint: this video is not suggesting that you should act like your stress doesn't exist. What she's saying is that we should make the best of it by seeing it as a way to grow. No, not the "If I just visualize stress being gone, I'll be happy!" lifestyle. More like, "This is what it is. Here's what I think of it --that's better. Now I'll make it into something admirable."
The Ethannator positive thinking is good a lot of times but not always. Sometimes stress is not preparation but a warning or has no clear valid reason. Also assuming correlation = causation in an uncontrolled study is junk science.
@@irascendedkitten7450 This is what I thought. I am so stressed at this one job I'm at, currently in training, I dont think it's right for me, but the pay is well. Here I am stuck between, change your way of thinking and maybe you'll do better at the job,thus, succeeding finally? Or it's a sign of, let go of the job and look elsewhere because it has come to the point of getting in the way of my mood and happiness. Sooo at this point, I am uncertain whether I should keep on 'not giving up' or taking care of my wellbeing ?
Just meditate ,that's all ego crap.stress desolves when you meditate.simple but people don't do it, so live in stress and find Technics is not my solution. O
I've known that long time..but not every person can do it,its like working 24/7 under pressure.. body must have some relaxation, and only relaxation that can have is inside the mind..punching a bag will help short time, for long time only strong minded personalities can bare it.
Thanks UA-cam for bringing this talk in front of me. I started loving my heart, brain, blood, .. all my body for staying with me all the time. Thanks for making me realise that I'm not alone ❤
I cried sometimes we take our parents from granted from now on im gonna show my love for them by hugging them so they will stay in the world for a long time BEST TED TALK EVER
A little to moderate stress is healthy for your system. But too much, especially chronic, amounts of excessive stress will cause system failure over time. I appreciate her argument in view of little to moderate stress levels, but not in view of chronic, excessive levels that come with traumatic or repeatedly intense experiences.
This. It’s frustrating because it feels very basic and shallow. It, to me, doesn’t ring true for anything further than surface level, everyday stress, and what happens when you’re alone? Lots of people have this desperate desire to have close friends or family, but struggle to connect. What good will you get from oxytocin from stress, if you have no one? Sometimes reaching out does more damage.
Before watching this, i am a person who always nervoius in doing anything, i scared of meeting someone. After watching this, i just realized this two easy steps totally change my life, now i more confident, more happy, career inclining. Thank you so much
She could be stressed about working the wrong way for the past ten years but she decided to change, and to accept that in front of an audience..Endearing. Priceless. 💫
This talk changed my entire perspective on how we deal with stress. I just learned that we can be better at handling stress by not feeling stressed about being stressed.
I am so glad I watched this video. It's been long I have tried to convince my family, who doesn't really want me to get stressed about my career, that stress is healthy, but they hardly believed in me. Thanks a ton for this video. Would love to read, listen or watch more of something like this.
Now, I can clearly explain to people why they never see me look stressed. A big take away for me is "Finding meaning is better for your health than avoiding discomfort." Thanks Kelly.
Deep and insightful speech, Kelly! You are poised and your answer is profound! Her advice is @13:59 "Chasing meaning is better for your health than avoiding discomfort. That is the best way to make decision is go after what it is that creates meaning in your life. Then, trust yourself to handle the stress that follows!" Thank you! I took notes and definitely watch again.
When talking about harmful effects of stress, it's important to realize that it is the *physiological response* of an organism that matters, not some description of an event. Kelly suggested a method for reducing that response. This doesn't contradict the idea that too much of stress (chronic stress, most of all) is harmful.
"Go after what it is that creates meaning in your life and then trust yourself to handle the stress that follows." That's an amazing sentence.
Yes indeed. That was an amazing statement.
A purpose gives us focus and drive. 🙏
Dude, Im having a headache a while ago thinking about things that stress me out and then this comment made me feel better, then suddenly my headache is gone.
@@HeyImAedRianne You'll feel better soon! :)
*Online Meditation and Breath Workshop with Bawa, Dinesh and their Team*
De stress | Energize | Shine
We are pleased to announce that Bawa, Dinesh and their team will be teaching an Online Meditation and Breath Workshop starting this Thursday evening.
Have you noticed that when you react - say something or do something when you are feeling frustrated, tired or angry, you typically regret whatever you said or did? Life can become a series of regrettable incidents when the mind is not ok.
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"Chasing meaning is better than avoiding discomfort." Most definitely
That was the most perfect piece of wisdom/ instruction in a talk packed with gems
I also totally loved the part what she said after this, "Go after something that creates meaning in your life and then TRUST YOURSELF to handle the stress that follows."
We often lose trust in ourselves whenever we face adversities, and I think this quote makes you look back on why you chose to pursue something difficult and makes you trust yourself more because you're the one who made the decision thus your body will help you overcome it as long as you trust yourself.
This one almost made me cry
hello
Bob Dobalina cbvgcvvvvvvcccxxxccvvvvb. bhhvvbvb. bbfgffsdfghjklkooiioioopohhhbn
"This is my body helping me rise to this challenge." Nailed it.
most impotant thing she said for me, haha and actually made sense...
yes me too..i love this .
I can’t believe this video has been available for 10 years and I’m only seeing it now. Thankfully Steven Bartlett referenced this exact TED Talk in his new book.
My favourite part was actually Kelly’s response on avoiding or embracing stressful situations:
“Go after what it is that creates meaning in your life, and then trust yourself to handle the stress that follows.”
why are you writing the book's name in a sense to promote it or give it a false sense of credibility?
That Lady is sharp. It feels like she's on top of her topic all the time. Also liked her fluent presentation skills
i like the part where shes attractive
I've been using this as a model presentation :-))
Feminism should follow her and many others like her and not these whiny fucks! Men are more intimidated by women like this.
She is a psychologist. Her work is to talk with people and help them. As they say, a psychiatrist can talk a happy man, to sad. They know how to put words and make you say "That Lady is sharp."!
A psychologist and a psychiatrist are VERY different focuses. What are you trying to say?
"Chasing meaning is better for your health than trying to avoid discomfort."
True that. Purpose. Live on purpose, with purpose. It’s not always about result but intent that we show up for our own lives and do the damn work. 🙏
That one sentence raise a lot of those previously sitting audience into standing ovation.
Beautiful!
@@mrabim2593 yeap, exactly
Just remember fear is a illusion and you’re not your thoughts, your lower self is what wants you to be stressed, depressed etc. But your higher self is what tells you God is with you and you’re good regardless and that’s what you need to listen to, I even made a video on this and connecting with your higher self, stay blessed 💯🙏
“Caring creates resilience" is gotta be one of the most thought-provoking and powerful sentence I'v heard in my life. Great vid.
I think this could also be related to serotonin’s connection to self-esteem. Caring for & being cared for by others can affect your sense of self-worth/confidence, which in turn affects your serotonin (& mood regulation) levels.
Osho would likely discuss the dangers of external validation and the importance of inner peace when addressing dependency on others and its effects on an individual's self-esteem, confidence, and serotonin levels. He would emphasize that personal happiness and value must be found independently of others' approval, as reliance on external validation can risk losing one's inner worth and authenticity.
Desiring approval and validation from others can be natural, but Osho would point out that depending on others is not a healthy way to build self-esteem and confidence. He would stress the importance of turning to one's inner resources, self-sufficiency, working on oneself, and finding inner happiness. In this process, meditation and mindfulness practices can help an individual overcome their dependency on external approval and lead a more independent, free, and joyful life.
According to Osho, dependency on others may have a temporary and external effect on serotonin levels and overall happiness, but true and lasting happiness comes from an individual's own inner strength, love, and acceptance. Therefore, finding one's inner peace and happiness is more critical than the effort to please others.
"Chasing meaning is better for your health than avoid discomfort...so the best way to make decision is to go after what creates meaning in your life and then trust yourself to handle the stress that follows" ❤
I love that ending, it is beautifully phrased!
Chasing meaning will always be scary but it will be worth it in the end. Discomfort should not hold us back from our dreams. We have to push through those feelings. The most important thing is indeed to rely on ourselves. Stress is our friend and supports us. Stress will always be by our side to give us energy and prepare us to meet this new challenge. But only if we have the right mindset. Mindset is everything!
@@annahms4539 well explained. I am going to carry this on every journey I take in my life. You really opened my eyes thank you. I always struggle choosing a path worried about wats going to come ahead, the discomfort exactly, but at the end of the day its worth choosing something that has meaning in your life because its going to be worth it, every struggle and sweat. 💌
This is why when I am stressed about my financial situation, I volunteer at a animal shelter or rescue organization. I can't describe the joy I feel helping homeless animals get better, and getting them one step closer to a forever home. Volunteering doesn't change my financial situation, it improves my happiness, and ultimately my life.
But that kind of you are trying to avoid your problem, at the end of the day, you still have to solve your own problem, right?
@@baohoang5157 what matter is it's easier for you to get things done when you're in a good mood, right?
Just remember fear is a illusion and you’re not your thoughts, your lower self is what wants you to be stressed, depressed etc. But your higher self is what tells you God is with you and you’re good regardless and that’s what you need to listen to, I even made a video on this and connecting with your higher self, stay blessed 💯🙏
I've actually found, as someone who has suffered with chronic anxiety, that when I purposefully tried to view my bodies anxious response/symptoms just as excitement or something else POSITIVE, it has helped! Super important topic!!!
Great l felt like you and when I thinking all bad something happen to me has a good side to my life I really feel better and that make me more happier and healthier
I hope to you good health
I so glad I found this video and I hope this helps me in the long runs cause I rlly want to turn my life around and the only thing holding me back is my anxiety and fear of stress. Best wishes!
Can u elaborate
I have a friend who is a doctor, has a very interesting theory that anxiety/ADD/ADHD are not "disorders" but rather, left over evolutionary traits that don't quite fit into our modern world. Think about it - thousands of years ago, the people who survived were the people constantly on the lookout for danger. It was a positive trait way back then! Not sure if I fully agree with this theory, but it DOES make quite a bit of sense to me.
I agree - I've been trying this recently and it works. Sometimes we even misinterpret anxiety as negative when it could be something happy or exciting.
I wish TED would list the studies mentioned, so we could review the methodology.
It would just be a good practice to elevate all of us.
www.ted.com/talks/kelly_mcgonigal_how_to_make_stress_your_friend/footnotes?referrer=playlist-talks_to_help_you_manage_stres
see footnotes
Read her book: The Upside of Stress. It's about 1,000 studies that cover all of this. The reference section lists all the studies. I'm not actually recommending the book: all the studies got kind of tedious.
Google Fu can elevate you too.
@@NicholasCat ded 😂😂😂😂
One of them was from the University of Wisconsin. When they show the slides during the talk they’re referenced in the bottom right hand-corner. The authors, org, year and title of the peer-reviewed article are there. I heard JSTOR is free now so it should be easier to access them.
Around seven years after seeing this, I'm here retrospectively to say a huge thank you, this has SAVED my life! Starting from a ridiculous, stress-induced medical file, I've since been involved in far more stressful projects and situations, but with zero adverse health effects. Stress doesn't kill but fear of stress might...
3:22 3:27
“how you think and how you act can change your experience of stress. ”
›choose to view your stress response (heart pounding, palm sweaty, etc) as helpful, it'll bring joy and courage into your life.
›choose to connect with others under stress, you can create resilience.
Literally the whole point is CHANGING OUR VIEW about our stress response, and BUILDING CONNECTION with someone during stress moment, to be happier and healthier also live longer.
Good luck everyone!
Good luck you too 👍
It is about how you decide to think about it. Like she was saying, you need to change your perception of stress. I remember how when reading psychology still in high school ( University student of psychology these days), my teacher and I got talking about stress and what he said was that " Stress is a sign that you care about the thing that is stressing you out. " - that really struck me.
By approaching things differently and seeing them in a different light, you can actually rechannel your psyche to limits you were not even aware of. In this it is your whole body from physical to psychological responses readying you to perform a situation that has a lot of stimulus. Stimulus which does not have to be a bad thing if you decide to just relax and let go.
This allows you to perform in front of an audience and be yourself without having to worry you make mistakes, because we all do. It is normal and humane, nothing embarrassing to worry about. These days I do not even care if people laugh when I make mistakes, I laugh at it too.
In the same way I came to find that bad experiences can be channeled to be good experiences instead. For example I was diagnosed a lethal case of Chron's disease in my high school.
Even though the experience was really hard because it nearly took my life, now looking back at it the person I was about to become (brat) and the person I am today then I am much rather the person i became trough that experience and with that experience than to be the person I would have been if it never happened to me in the first place.
I found that finding the good in the bad is the key of dealing with hardship. Criticism? Sure, it feels frustrating at the moment. But that is until you realize that you can actually turn criticism to a useful tool for self improvement. Alright, I made a mistake doing this or that, but hey now I at least know what I need to pay attention to so I can work on that so I no longer have to make the same mistake again.
All of this and so many more other things in your life is only a matter of perspective. What is it you decide to take from your experience and how you decide to view different experiences.
Thank you so much! I've been looking for this book in English for quite a long time!
Thank you so much! It helped relieve a lot of worries. :)
***** Oh well you can choose to see everything you want, nobody is stopping you. Then again, I am relatively convinced that saying something along the lines of: " You suck. " - is not a very compelling argument.
***** I get that but actually there is actually evidence to suggest that what she is saying is true. As I study psychology, one thing I have learnt is that one another reason why stress is actually good because it grows you as a person and helps you to grow conflict solving skills which in turn make you better at dealing with daily-life issues.
Of course we also must observe what are the issues we face in modern technological climate. When you look at Dr. Geri Puleo's video and the American capital culture then I think that the environment is an issue there. People have this sense of " I have not make X amount of money or else " and work their brains out which is not a healthy model of functioning. And Dr. Geri Puleo points out why.
So there is a grain of truth in thinking that too much stress is your enemy and that is a really good question to ponder where the lines go. I think that these changes to how we perceive things work as a good coping mechanism to a point and allows us to tolerate it better. But obviously if the environment is absolutely toxic to the condition of your mental health as you get absolutely crushed by the amount of stress stimulus, you need to get out for your own sake.
To this problem I think that being self-aware your limits is the key. To know how much work you can do, what you need and want and to try to relax and not feel so much pressure about having everything tip tap perfect always. You consume so much energy unnecessarily by being too harsh to yourself and not allowing yourself to forgive yourself and give yourself a break from time to time. I think this is where the biggest problems come and Dr- Geri Puleo also touched this particular aspect too and I agree with her.
For example I went to study Psychology not because of the money or pressure, not because I could not have gone elsewhere but simply because that is the sort of thing I enjoy doing in my personal life and professionally too. Analyzing, helping people etc. I am not concerned to become a corporate leader but I think that many have this sense of extreme pressure to perform as an idolized ideal without actually asking themselves what is enough for them to life a satisfied life.
Also, thank you for apologizing. It really reflects your character well as a mature responsible human being that you are. =)
***** Have you been diagnosed with depression? Because what I can read from your text, it might be that the reason why you feel that it is hard for you to pick up the pieces might be that you have depression as a follow up symptom from the utter burnout that you experienced and all the luggage that comes along with it.
In any case, I appreciate you telling me this and talking about these issues to someone really helps. Trust me on that. I wish you all the best and keep of fighting warrior spirit. You'l make it.
This works for more things than stress, For example if you would go sporting and you'd believe that you won't lose weight or gain muscles you won't gain as fast as if you would think you can do it. Some other study I've seen, I really think that your mindset can change your whole life.
+Ignace Aleya kind of Placebo effect.
law of attraction
Ignace Aleya that's the whole reason people believe so much in stuff like the law of attraction isn't it?
RawPeds it IS the placebo effect. Don't underestimate the capability of the mind.
yes, totally agree with you. I am a girl and a fan of sport. But I really don't like have muscles. I always scared that Playing sport and Doing exercise will make my muscle develop. And as a result, my muscle grow even faster than any boy I met. Now I change my mindset already and I feel a lot of changing on my body.:))
Well... i have seriously severe panic attacks and anxiety attacks thanks to years and years of googling my symptoms. Its very unhealthy but in the time of stress or having an anxiety episode, i cannot convince myself that im okay. Its not as easy as some people try to make it out to be. When you're in that moment you can only freak out and think youre dying just for it to drain you later. I hate it. This video actually helped me ALOT.
Now I'm stressed about figuring out how to greet my stress with joy and courage.
go to 5:30 and watch it, she explains it right there. next time you sense that you're feeling anxious tell yourself this is your body preparing you to get through the situation and just keep repeating that to yourself
I ran into this new paradigm (for myself and most health professionals, of which I am one) back in Janurary at U of AZ for an intensive 10 day training in many modalities, but focused on Intrerative and Functional Medicine paradigms. Read some comments and she is a naturally gifted presentor, along with all her knoledge and wisdom from experience. There is a book, Stress Teflon by Luke Mathers and I highly recommend it to anyone. It is a no BS way to put all this shift in thinking to actual practicality. The hormone relationship made leaps and bounds with the genome, the Einstein moment for actual individualized health restoration, inhancement, prevention, etc. that "health care" was meant to be. Then the collaboration of professionals from all sciences formulated the Institure for Functional Medicine and it has created a complete new paradigm for how we view and treat illnesses. Instead of the one size fits all formula of the allopathic silo, now the ability to provide whatever the body needs to heal itself is utilized.
norpY then figure out how to stop the stress that was caused by figuring out how to greet your stress with courage and joy.
Exactly.
:)))) i think you're already doing an excellent job!
Not only do I love this - but I adopted this advice in my OWN life. Great advice.
Marni Your Personal Wing Girl how are you after 3 years of taking this advice
Marni Your Personal Wing Girl
Hello
Yes!😊
Was It really your OWN life though.
@@Goofy_TundraAteGrass420 to 6zsu
I love the conclusion! I had the most terrible time in my life last year. But i had a plenty of family and friends’ support. I also volunteered myself for helping the disabled. I got over very well and faster than i imagined.
00:13 - start
01:21 - study: bad news - 43% risk of dying (182,000 deaths because they believe that stress could cause death)
03:17 - social stress test
04:13 - math test
05:14 - rethink !
06:50 - how you think about stress matters
07:45 - stress makes you social
10:54 - caring, resilience
THANK YOU FOE THIS
you deserve having both sides of your pillow to be cold
Thank you! I’m doing a paper on this so this is definitely needed
@@chippy4943😂😂😂😂
You are an angel!!
Now I know why I grew as an anxious child, because people kept judging me and I didn't rise against my shyness. My life style was pretty lonely too and now that I think about it I was always happier and felt better when hanging around people who accepted me.
People kept on calling me a certain thing throughout my whole life in a shocking manner as if it was a problem; I took it negatively. Even relatives and people that saw me for the first time. At the time I had trouble dealing with the fact that I constantly had to here people say it to me. It was unfortunate that I couldn't see what people said to me as an illusion and I can say that it was my fault for caring what people thought of me at the time. I sometimes didn't do certain things because I didn't want to here people say that certain thing to me.
I have the same feeling. How can we change this?
"182,000 people died"
*Laughter*
---RIGHT WHAT
I know like wtf
Scottish humour bruh. If you get it, you get it. Hoots mon.
More people died of COVID, trump still laughs
they laugh because of the fact, that in the studies healthyness is measured by a death counter, while if you hear of normal studies they do search your blood for anomalies, or something.
I love the way we look at the negative things positively. Sometimes, we can not change the situation but we can change our mindset to handle problems well by trying to understand them, approaching them positively, and adjusting our attitude. ❤️👍🏻
Exactly 💯
yes !! 💓💓
Totally Agree!
This is so profound. I have sent this individually to everyone of my friend group and my family. Basically, “together, we can do this!”
Ikr!!!
Just remember fear is a illusion and you’re not your thoughts, your lower self is what wants you to be stressed, depressed etc. But your higher self is what tells you God is with you and you’re good regardless and that’s what you need to listen to, I even made a video on this and connecting with your higher self, stay blessed 💯🙏
True
I will also send this to my mom.
Even though this talk is 6 years old already, I felt that it is still a useful talk. I am the guy who have an experience with stress issue. But after listen to this talk, it totally change my way of thinking. :)
This explains to me why now they said "Do one thing every day that scares you."
"Never be anxious about the next day, for the next day will have its own anxieties." MATTHEW 6:34. www.jw.org/finder?wtlocale=E&issue=2020-03&pub=g20&srcid=share
Good ! I also just found & watched this video :)
It does not matter, how aged the talk is, when it is about human biology, which won't change that much in vast lengths of time.
Just remember fear is a illusion and you’re not your thoughts, your lower self is what wants you to be stressed, depressed etc. But your higher self is what tells you God is with you and you’re good regardless and that’s what you need to listen to, I even made a video on this and connecting with your higher self, stay blessed 💯🙏
I found this TED Talk 7 years later, but I'm very grateful I did. This perspective will shape how I live for the rest of my life. Thank you Kelly for a super profound and well delivered Ted Talk; and here's to your stress!
'You can trust yourself to handle life's challenges and you're remembering that you don't have to face them alone'. Such a powerful statement! I wish someone had told this to my younger self.
Never too late Neel, tell it now to your Wiser self. Aavjo
Without fail, I come back to this video every year, and it never fails to be the most profound and life-altering video I have ever come across on the internet.
Lol thought the title said:
“How to stress your friend.”
Kaahn 🤣
Kaahn same hahah
Same. Maybe its the original title
Yup
Same here hahaha
"this is my body helping me rise over this challenge"
"Caring created resilience." What a powerful connection.
I am just wowed right now
The way she explained with the help of researches and makes you believe that yes it isn't that bad to be stressful, I just love it ❤
Since I have had M.S. for over 50 years, stress has been part of my life. It’s something a person learns to ‘deal with’. Exercising, eating healthy and napping become part of the daily rituals. Seeing my physicians is part of my life too. At least we have Dr.’s we can see!
Keeping a positive attitude helps me. The smile on my face helps me too. When I share treat with everyone I meet, I usually get one in return.
Barb
"Go after what it is that creates meaning in your life and then trust yourself to handle the stress that follows." I'm living by this intuitively, but I still don't think we need a society loaded with stressors. Thanks for the insights.
To bring hope to those who see none is nothing short of amazing. The speaker beautifully illustrates how those drowning in stress can recover from the daily pressure tests they face through a change in outlook.
In my opinion the ability to share and care for each other is the most powerful weapon we have against the daily battle of stress. When we share our problems and help each other we find new perspective into our old problems.
You can sum up this video in one sentence.
Sometimes to live life to the fullest we have to take a leap of faith together past the stress hurdles we face.
Well said👏
Dang, her confident and fast answer to that question to the end was amazing. Imma find this video every time I remember it so I can remember stress doesn't have to viewed in a negative way
Awesome information. This goes along with those who find the good in everything seem to live longer.
As an experience of my life, I have always felt that working in creative environments creates better works in a stressful environment.
I'm sure it was my own way of treating stress, but the story of this woman made me think more about it. Great.
I have never seen any TEDtalk helpful as this talk. Appreciate that alot! It helped me to change my perspective about stress. Thank you very much.
We need to test our own perspectives and tactics to live better on purpose and with purpose. Not one-size fits all approach because of the foundation we begin with. Much success wishes for you. 🙏
I have been in a content state of debilitation anxiety for almost 2 months. This video has been a huge help. Thank you so much.
I totally agree with what you said and I have practiced the same strategies for the past 20 years. The outcomes have been stunning and I would like to share this to as many people as I can.
Most def. I’m aiming at the same. 🙏
I definitely go for that... chase what will give meaning to your life instead of avoiding stressful situations.
I love how the audience laugh out of stress as she talks about deaths
So as long as I don't stress about the stress I'm fine
Wow.....
Yes exactly
@@mennaelatar487 fr ppl be like im soo stressed like bruh just let it pass like a book im reading about overcoming anger and irritability. Anger will pass n slowly but surely dissipate so live life TO THE FULLEST I CAN'T LINGER NO LONGER ON DUM ARGUMENTS WITH FAMILY etc i think this lead to my moms cancer honestly.. 😭😥😢
🤩💞
Yeah man don't abuse stress!
had to watch this for a class and it stressed me out
@@geannaabrahams8695 This is no coincidence
@@amirrorh1000 same
Had a write a summary about this. Now this is stressful when you have other work to do....
Must be a common class standard lol
same
" Go after what it is that gives you meaning in life, and then trust yourself to handle the stress that follows"
THIS IS THE BEST TED TALK EVER
True
Looks like somebody hasn't seen "2070 Paradigm Shift"
The former comment to this video is a Indian man, who can concentrate on watching the whole film, I believe the next commenter is a woman, who can distract herself and in another direction saying good at multicast instead.
The last minute is gold ❤️. Now I understand why even in a stressful condition I'm still calm and happy inside. I have a meaningful life, in a place where my calling is ❤️
Its acceptance = less stress, so not resisting it means theres less persistence and you are more healthy.
So shes been right all along, but teaching in a way that promotes resistance.
Solution: meditate.
This talk has suddenly changed my life! Thanks to TED and Kelly McGonigal for this amazing gift!
How's your life going now? I hope that it's still going great and that you are enjoying yourself and leading a meaningful life
I love Ted talks they are so thought provoking and inspiring, they make you really question what is possible 💭
2024 (almost ‘25!)
I was told one time that I was “stoned on stress” which I took as a compliment! If it wasn’t for some amount of stress no one would get out of bed in the morning. Also I bet gratitude (especially for others) ranks right up there with helping others as far as building that resiliency!
Terrific talk! I wish I’d found it sooner.
I am so glad I watched this video. After I watched this video, its really really changed my perspective about stress. This video is so relevant. I'm sure everyone has been under stress for some time. And now, we may also be stressed.
During this time, we must have assumed that stress is our enemy. We only know that stress only makes us sick. When we feel stress, our heart must be pounding, and it's uncomfortable. But from this video, I got a new knowledge that stress can makes us healthy. Why? When we change our way of thinking about stress, we can change our body's reaction to stress.
In fact, all aspects of our body will respond positively to stress. How? The trick is that we have to get used to looking at negative things positively. Sometimes, we can not change the situation but we can change our mindset to handle the problem well by trying to understand them, approaching them positively, and adjusting our attitude. The point of this video is how we think about something can change the whole situation.
After watching this video, Not only do I love this - but I adopted this advice in my own life. 🙌♥
Yes good
"When you choose to view your stress response as helpful, you create the biology of courage" 💪
Definitely one of the most helpful TED talks I've ever seen, bravo!
Thank you so much Kelly McGonigal, your talk has changed the way many people think about stress. I used to struggle with stress, probably chronic stress, feeling overwhelmed and alone. I will probably try some of the methods you mentioned in this tedtalk!!
It sounds like to turn the STRESS to an ADRENALINE! Very refreshing! Love it!
We saw this at school today and it completely changed my view on stress. This is a really good Ted talk.
Stardust Gacha I wish we would’ve watched this at school. This is completely life changing, but hey, at least I’ve been taught how to interpret a poem from 300 years ago :D
"Go after what is creating meaning in your life, and then trust yourself to handle what follows." ~Kelly McGonigal
h/t Stephan Hovnanian for encouragement to watch the video
#tedtalk #stress #stressmanagement
she will be keynote in Malmo ICF Global Conference, September 18-20
I love TED talks! This was excellent.
Cyd Rust hi
"and yes, your pounding physical heart, working so hard to give you strength and energy."
idk why but that line hits me hard. it feels like my body already give their best, their support to me, so i must be so thankful for them.
She ended it so well when answering that question!
The guy with the standing ovation in the front row at the end clearly fell in love with this woman
I can so understand what she has done. I did that a long time ago when i realized that it seemed I would live in steess a lot of my lifetime. So as bad as it was,I decided to embrace it and mentally use it as a stepping stone towards building more character. As a character test so to speak. This is a control issue and when you realize some things you just absolutely have no control over, but you can control how you react.
Coming back to this because my oldest sibling disagreed about how I viewed stress, but I decided to come back and review this video again. I've always thought stress was somewhat meaningful and a part of life as long as I don't overthink it. Facing my stresses, without believing stress is bad for my health, can lead growing as a person as long as I figure out how to handle them (sort of like reactive coping, but with positivity). Glad to back to this video again!
Gosh,i feel like this is already saving my stressed life! His talk will be my prayer,like,really
This is an amazing video, I watched it for my psychology class and this framing of stress brought a lot of hope to my future, I hope more people can find this video because I doubt there is anyone, anywhere, that couldn't benefit from this message
I was in a lot of stress trying to figure out my life, my education and how i could help my family. This helped me realize a lot of things in life. Things i could share that could help other people. So that's what i did, i became the friend you always talk to when you have a problem and that made me happy, it made me excited that i was helping and the joy after knowing how things turned out for them after you've helped them, it's amazing. What i did wrong though was i made it a distraction, i was hit by the saying, "that's why you always try to fix others, coz you can't fix yourself" right now i am trying to find myself, trying to help myself, to become better. So i could my family, my friends, and other people in need.
I think this is one of the best TED talk. Also, stress is a magic drug that changes us without medicine. If we deal positively with stress, it will make us grow one step further in our life. Thank you a lot Kelly.
This is so relevant. Honestly I agree with her that stress prepares ourselves for life challenges. I have prepared and taken exams under moderate-stress conditions and the outcomes have been pretty good. Stress indeed prepares us for challenges- make us more focused and more productive!
I directly ran to this video after i just finished her book "The Upside of Stress". Her book is one of those books that life-changing to me. She reshapes my mindset over problems in life and stress
Best advice I've been given about stress. Was being investigated for muscle and nerve issues. After adopting an embracing attitude towards stress, my symptoms have come well under control. So much better than trying to escape stress somehow. Thank you so much.
"Challenge Everything"
is a very effective strategy. i learned something in my intensive psych program: avoidance reinforces fear. Literally, by avoiding a fear [say - talking to girls] you are actually becoming worse at talking to girls, and less inclined to do so
So in respect to the context of this comment, this means that by trying to run away or avert a scenario you are creating a self-fulfilling prophecy
I tried your advice on "conditioning" myself before a very stressful strategic huddle... And it worked! Now stress is my friend. 🤗
I know this video is very old but still, thank you, Kelly McGonigal, for sharing such a profound perspective on stress! Your presentation has somewhat changed my life easier today!
My only concern with studies like this is that people can use them to put more pressure on people. Companies can start putting more pressure on people to deliver then tell them that stress is all in their mind. We have to be very careful about how we handle information like this.
wow never thought of it like that
Exactly my thoughts !!!
This was the comment i was looking for. That's really a danger of this way of thinking, if it gets too popular, even though her points can be very helpful for individuals like us. It's kinda like the way many managers of companies use meditation/mindfulness - when their employees get stressed, they say "I got you this mindfulness course for free, now follow that and you'll get better", and then you have no excuse. An important aspect of meditation is that it's not supposed to have a purpose, you meditate to meditate, not to do a better job at your workplace. You can't relax with that pressure. In the same way, what Kelly McGonigal says should be used for your own benefit, not for the boss to make employees perform better.
Good point but thankfully there are other mechanisms to counter this like civil/employee rights org. It will be easy to establish cases against companies if they go over what accepted human performance can handle. But you are right it could be sort of a grey area!
LJY08 I like Kelly McGonigal and I agree with what she says for the most part, but I agree with this completely. I think this is a tenuous tightrope to walk.
Her incredibly quick answer to the question at the end was great. I'm definitely glad I watched this one 🤗
I am nervous and my legs are shaking whenever I have to talk in public. I think that it is my weakness but now I think my body is preparing for me. I will not worry about my shaking legs no more. She teaches about change in perspectives and I think this idea can be applied to almost everything. Whenever I think in black cloud, I will remind myself that the black cloud is not giving darkness but it is going to give rain. Well, yes, dynamic of perspectives, a lesson learned again not only by positive thinking also by scientific evidence. Thank you Tedx and Kelly.
This video may have changed my life from this moment!
Okay. Let's differentiate here between new-age fluff and actual legitimate science.
*positive-thinking mantra*:
-I can do anything if I just visualize it, even if I don't work to it much.
-My thoughts directly impact the world.
-I can change *other things* directly and objectively through my perception.
*Actual, productive thinking*:
-I will only accomplish as much as I am willing to work for it.
-My thoughts impact my perspective of the world. The chips sometimes aren't in my favor. My thoughts don't change that--they just let me play another hand.
-I can change myself, and thus the world, through my perception of it. When life gives me lemons, I'll give people lemonade.
So, no, for all of those super-cynics who tout their pessimism like a trophy glorifying their oh-so 'contrarian' viewpoint: this video is not suggesting that you should act like your stress doesn't exist. What she's saying is that we should make the best of it by seeing it as a way to grow. No, not the "If I just visualize stress being gone, I'll be happy!" lifestyle. More like, "This is what it is. Here's what I think of it --that's better. Now I'll make it into something admirable."
The Ethannator positive thinking is good a lot of times but not always. Sometimes stress is not preparation but a warning or has no clear valid reason. Also assuming correlation = causation in an uncontrolled study is junk science.
@@irascendedkitten7450 This is what I thought. I am so stressed at this one job I'm at, currently in training, I dont think it's right for me, but the pay is well. Here I am stuck between, change your way of thinking and maybe you'll do better at the job,thus, succeeding finally? Or it's a sign of, let go of the job and look elsewhere because it has come to the point of getting in the way of my mood and happiness. Sooo at this point, I am uncertain whether I should keep on 'not giving up' or taking care of my wellbeing ?
Just meditate ,that's all ego crap.stress desolves when you meditate.simple but people don't do it, so live in stress and find Technics is not my solution.
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One of the best Ted talks that I’ve heard! Very informative....thank you!!
I've known that long time..but not every person can do it,its like working 24/7 under pressure.. body must have some relaxation, and only relaxation that can have is inside the mind..punching a bag will help short time, for long time only strong minded personalities can bare it.
Thanks UA-cam for bringing this talk in front of me.
I started loving my heart, brain, blood, .. all my body for staying with me all the time. Thanks for making me realise that I'm not alone ❤
I was searching for how to make your friend stressed and this was at the top
I cried sometimes we take our parents from granted from now on im gonna show my love for them by hugging them so they will stay in the world for a long time BEST TED TALK EVER
A little to moderate stress is healthy for your system. But too much, especially chronic, amounts of excessive stress will cause system failure over time. I appreciate her argument in view of little to moderate stress levels, but not in view of chronic, excessive levels that come with traumatic or repeatedly intense experiences.
This.
It’s frustrating because it feels very basic and shallow. It, to me, doesn’t ring true for anything further than surface level, everyday stress, and what happens when you’re alone? Lots of people have this desperate desire to have close friends or family, but struggle to connect. What good will you get from oxytocin from stress, if you have no one? Sometimes reaching out does more damage.
Before watching this, i am a person who always nervoius in doing anything, i scared of meeting someone. After watching this, i just realized this two easy steps totally change my life, now i more confident, more happy, career inclining. Thank you so much
The whole point... stress is inevitable but how you percieve it and React to it matters..
Edited: thank you kelly, Big fan❤
She could be stressed about working the wrong way for the past ten years but she decided to change, and to accept that in front of an audience..Endearing. Priceless. 💫
Man the placebo effect is so powerful! Life is literally what you make it!
So, love litterally heals the heart.
That's one of the coolest things I've ever heard!
"Chasing meaning is better for your health than trying to avoid discomfort." That's a real good way of looking at it. :o
Thanks, TED for a great talk by Kelly McGonigal. Very profound, educational and useful for all of us. Thanks again, TED Talks =).
That is so nice idea....keep your mine dear
Raymond Lai i
“Go after what it is that creates meaning in your life and believe that you handle the stress that follows.”
This talk changed my entire perspective on how we deal with stress. I just learned that we can be better at handling stress by not feeling stressed about being stressed.
I am so glad I watched this video. It's been long I have tried to convince my family, who doesn't really want me to get stressed about my career, that stress is healthy, but they hardly believed in me. Thanks a ton for this video. Would love to read, listen or watch more of something like this.
Now, I can clearly explain to people why they never see me look stressed. A big take away for me is "Finding meaning is better for your health than avoiding discomfort." Thanks Kelly.
💯
"Go after what it is that creates
meanings in your life, and then trust in yourself to handle the stress that follows"👌🏾👌🏾👌🏾
One of the most incredible talks ever made. I know this has changed MANY lives. We are so grateful 🙏🙏🙏
Deep and insightful speech, Kelly! You are poised and your answer is profound! Her advice is @13:59 "Chasing meaning is better for your health than avoiding discomfort. That is the best way to make decision is go after what it is that creates meaning in your life. Then, trust yourself to handle the stress that follows!" Thank you! I took notes and definitely watch again.
This amazing woman is my new hero.
When talking about harmful effects of stress, it's important to realize that it is the *physiological response* of an organism that matters, not some description of an event. Kelly suggested a method for reducing that response. This doesn't contradict the idea that too much of stress (chronic stress, most of all) is harmful.
I have loved her closing speech "you don't have to face them alone" ...