Polyamory Level 1 vs. Level 100
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- Опубліковано 18 вер 2024
- A friend of mine recently said that throuples are polyamory level 100, and you might not want to go for them if you're level 1. That's very accurate.
Why are throuples level 100? What is level 1? That's what I talk about in this video.
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I'm saddened by how many negative comments you're receiving @polyamfam. I am new to polyamory and find that all of your content resonates heavily within me. Thank you for being so courageous, eloquent and informative about a topic that doesn't receive the recognition it deserves.
Thank you so much! I try not to let silly comments that don't matter get to me. They usually either give me a laugh, or better, more funny content.
I am currently in a polyamorous triad or "throuple". Not a HUGE fan of that term, but it is what it is. We all love one another mutually and collectively. We all have similar goals and values in life, we all want this to be a family, and not just a hook-up, and oddly enough it's almost always been easy mode for the three of us. My fiance of 10 years and I met a girl online who came out of a terrible relationship. She came out as trans, and her wife of 15 years, whom she had 4 children with, left her for that simple fact. Needless to say, she wanted more than just sex, she wanted her life back, to rediscover herself, and yearned for a polyfam, heavy emphasis on the fam. We were more than happy to help her on her journey. I, as a disabled person also needed both companionship, and as a couple at the time, we both needed more financial stability. My fiance who loves me and would follow me to the edge of the earth works very hard, and doesn't always have enough time to spend at home. Having her to talk to, and spend time with myself makes me very happy, and it makes him happy seeing that and being romantocally involved with both of us. We are currently looking into buying our first home together ❤
Oh my god, the cowpoke definition is mindblowing! What a relief, I genuinely wish I had this key of comprehension before. Not only being gaslighted by the said partner when things started to go wrong, but also being unvalidated by family and friends when expressing the feeling of treason, was really traumatizing. Thank you so much for the precious guidance!
I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I'm glad my videos help!
As a married person easing into non-monogamy, this is a great refresh. And as someone with a single friend who is also new to polyamory, this is great! I’ll definitely share. Thanks for the multiple perspectives!
This is super useful advice! as a solo poly person, thank you so much!
“Solo poly” this is level 1000
@@kashemvai5025 I feel that I'm only at the beginning of my journey exploring non-monogamy!
@@kashemvai5025 As someone who's also solo poly, I find it *way* easier than I would find a triad! When you're solo poly, you maintain your own space and your own autonomy, which I think is wonderful. 🥰
Great introduction to "poly level 1"! I shared it on one of my FB poly groups!
I shared a link to that group and he deleted it. :( He's censoring replies.
Thank you for these excellent tips!!! It’s been nice that more dating apps let you only match up with other poly folks so you don’t always have to explain the whole thing.
As a side note, the way my ADHD presents, the echoing sound your videos have make it hard to pay attention for too long. I’m sure you’re aware of them, but I just wanted to offer constructive feedback if I could!! Keep up the great work!
Thank you for the feedback. Is it just this video or others too? I did kind of mess up the audio on this one.
@@doomedfromthesmart ...what
@@polyamfam Personally I have found it on all of your videos, including Tiktoks, but maybe it is just something I'm sensitive to that others don't notice.
What dating app does this?
I know at least #open does and I think OKCupid. There is also Polyfinda but I've never tried it. @@laurenrogers7061
:43- not to mention the amount of couples who expect the third person to ONLY date them.
1:00- Also your relationship with yourself, which brings it up to 7
1:30- and finding information/advice that isn't only geared towards couples opening up. That was a big frustration of mine.
Just from being in advice groups there so much pre-work couples can do before opening up to dating. Part of that advice helps sort out if they really want a triad or if they just want a "guest star" in the bedroom.
As a single person I didn't tell people how new I was to polyamory until the first date because so many people will misjudge you based on prior past experiences.
Oops, I jumped in to level 100 almost from the get go (within a month of deciding to try out polyamory). Seems to be working ok so far though? Just gotta keep that communication going I guess.
Hey, sometimes it works out great! We all have our own journeys. Glad to hear yours is going well.
Your content is so helpful for me!! Thank you for all your videos! I’m new to Polyamory as of like days ago and I really appreciate these videos
Best of luck on your polyamory journey! I'm glad my videos can help.
the way me and my partner started being pollyamorous was
Me: just so you know, I kinda like [mutual friend]
BF: same!
✨pollyamory✨
Question! What do you think of the term “poly-curious?”
Also-
When you mentioned 3:03 that we’d rather know on the first date, some people don’t know at first. If they’re first introduced to polyamory through a potential partner, I think it’s the polyamorous person’s responsibility to help educate their potential partner and both communicate boundaries while the new partner continues to “poly-curious”ly try dating more. Then if it doesn’t work out, hopefully, both people can maturely breakup.
That’s the logic of it right? Cuz that’s what happened to me and my last partner 😅
Thank you for your precious information! Polyamory is a complex topic and it's important to talk about it, because it's not easy to find models and stories to confront your situation with.
Speaking about that... Any advice for a person who is completely new to polyamory (who is then on a "level 1") and who started dating a polyamorous person (who is then already ready for the "level 100")?
Thank you
Ps. I'm sorry for all the hate comments you receive. Please don't get discouraged, there are tons of people who find your videos very helpful, you make us feel seen!
I think a throuple would
almost be better. Because you would be part of the mix. I’m more jealous when I have no idea what’s going on. But I honestly consider myself poly but never acted on it. So I don’t know anything. I’d love to hear from commenters with experience.
I yearn for a throuple relationship. It's pretty much just luck though. I've fallen for someone who is part of a Polycule totalling 3 people (with other relationships inbetween) besides myself. She's pretty experienced in poly relationships and I've been dating for about a year in poly circles and with her for half that time. My experience has been easy going. I'm very good at seeking out people who have shared values with me so if that's something you struggle with it might be worth looking out for red flags and practising boundaries/ communication with family and friends. Being firmly open and honest with people has helped so much even if it feels awkward at first. Have you tried dating apps whilst searching for poly people?
Polyamory isn't about "couples" staying coupled-up. It's about individuals acting on their self-soveriegn birthright to be the sole deciders of what they do with their own hearts and bodies. Engaging in polyamory means that you embrace each persons right to one-on-one relationships without people outside of that relationship being involved. In order to engage in healthy polyamory the concept of "coupledom" needs to be set aside.
Also, the culturally correct term is "triad". Hollywood invented the term "throuple". Most poly folk hate the term "throuple".
@@rowenhenning7662 good to know! Thank you for the information. I’m definitely still learning and am interested to see where broadening my heart will lead.
@@arranorr4487 I have joined some local Facebook groups and engaged in talking with one person. I’m married and navigating that. My spouse is on board but I don’t think fully gets it.
Love the videos. thanks for helping me understand. Very new to this
Grew up conservative, didn’t think I would enjoy being in one of these until I was actually there after a hipster girl asked me to be in one, lesbians and bisexual women have always had a thing for me for some reason…I’m still an insanely ordered Apollonian person and built good structure perhaps some of you could use.
1. Set it up as a 1-2-1. M-2F-M so their is equitable power parity so to not poison the relationship structure.
2. Stratify the men with 7 on 7 off work weeks alternating who is in the house with the ladies weekly.
3. The ladies get the materialistic benefit of an apartment/house that 4 incomes can afford as well as potentially always having a father/husband/bf later on at the home despite him making full time income.
-Also we tried our set up with the mindset of patriarchal specialization. I’m a massively top down disciplinarian order guy who really wanted to specialize in raising the daughters, they say I’m a helicopter mom on steroids lol I never gave it much thought but I don’t entirely disagree. The other dude actually goes outside, touches grass, hunts, etc. basically the son raising specialist. The ladies also get the benefit of female companionship so they can do… women stuff, they do weird things like each others hair for like 2 hours every morning lol.
4. The men get to enjoy the benefits of rotating polygamy maximizing the time utility of your experience on your non work week. They also get to be the primary parental authority over the type of child they most suited to raise, as a dude raised by a girls basketball coach I was always insecure in my ability to raise a son, this is an excellent tool to fix that.
- not trying to be imposing, I just see most of the poly people failing do to the open nature of most poly setups, if so give this is closed system a try.
can't agree more! I just found your channel, I find it very useful ! Thank you ❤
Oh, I hate the "what if I scare them off" bs. IF you scare them off, then that's good, imo. Like, I'm ace and not really interested in sex. But sex is an important part for many in a relationship. Of course I should communicate this early on. Why waste someones time, if they're not ok with that kind of relationship anyways?
Just found your channel. Subbed and you do speak about my existence well. I have a close friend in a closed quad for thirty years. That's levelling up! It's not for me. I'm parallel. Oh, and cowgirling me? It's crystal in my bio. I hope so...
Gonna take some notes on this, as I'm going to take the jump probably maybe. Possibly.
Have a question ? saw a poly person decide to get into a relationship with two people : primary agreed , after a while secondary demanded he leave the primary, he felt he would rather be with someone that demanded his exclusive attention as that showed him that she must love him more and he left the primary 😢
Quick question: my long time partner and I who have been monogamish have a person in our lives that we have both caught some feelings for and I was wondering if a triad relationship would be worth trying in a situation like that or if another relationship style would be more appropriate. We both regularly hang out with this person both alone and together. And the three of us have had sexy times together.
So did you guys try the triad thing? Or will u guys date separately either way it goes...yall have a bond so why not give it a try...good luck
@@conniebanks1472 we made some mistakes and it all kind of blew up but we were able to maintain a friendship and we are all working on laying a solid foundation with hopes of trying it again in a slow more controlled way instead of rushing into it in an infatuated stupor XD
May I ask how are things going? My husband and I are in a similar situation. We met a guy a little over a year ago and we’ve grown quit close. We have time and sexy time together one on one and most of the time all three of us together. We live two hours away so we don’t think a triad situation would work (who knows though). We have tried to find a label for the relationship and how to navigate but haven’t found anything yet. Just curious and thought I’d ask, hopefully your day is amazing 😊
@@SamuelSmith-qw1qu we are all still very close friends but due to some mishandling of the situation based on being blinded by nre we started hitting on some past trauma of one of us and in order to not turn this all into a shit show we stopped things before they were allowed to get that far.
Wow, you guys really have way too much time on your hands
We like talking about stuff we think is important. 🤷
@@polyamfam cool man, as long as you enjoy talking about this stuff. Makes me wish i had more time on my hands too tbh.
It’s wild that they did that huge study and it showed that 92% of people in poly relationships are sex addicts. Not saying it’s a positive or negative thing I just found it fascinating.
Do you have a source for that? I've not heard of it and can't seem to find it with a quick search.
No they didn't....lol. This is a total fabrication and you're fooling yourself if you think anyone actually believes you. Polyamory is no more about sex than monogamy is.
@@rowenhenning5151 this is objectively true…. I’ll find the article and share the link.
@@rowenhenning5151 it’s a psychology today article.
@@Sometimeslifeiscrazy When you find the article let me know....lol.
Have a question ? saw a poly person decide to get into a relationship with two people : primary agreed , after a while secondary demanded he leave the primary, he felt he would rather be with someone that demanded his exclusive attention as that showed him that she must love him more and he left the primary 😢