How I Got Fired

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  • Опубліковано 5 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 9 тис.

  • @toph318
    @toph318 10 років тому +4074

    Doesn't get fired for pushing a panic alarm. Doesn't get fired for napping under a table in someone's office at work, but gets fired for being awkward...Dan Howell ladies and gentlemen

    • @k.boi.d
      @k.boi.d 10 років тому +4

      hahaha

    • @bradleym1322
      @bradleym1322 10 років тому +4

      Haha lol that's just haha

    • @emmathegirlalmighty1285
      @emmathegirlalmighty1285 10 років тому +5

      That's what I thought xD

    • @therubberducky6036
      @therubberducky6036 10 років тому +34

      He said the panic alarm incident only contributed towards him getting fired and and he also got away with the power nap XD

    • @iicrazydreamer_8082
      @iicrazydreamer_8082 10 років тому +3

      😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @alishab6377
    @alishab6377 9 років тому +6844

    It's kinda weird to think he got fired from ASDA and now they sell books and magazines with his faces on them.

  • @sarahkruse9375
    @sarahkruse9375 8 років тому +3107

    Dan: "I can't wrap Christmas presents"
    Dan three years later: "PHIL YOU CALL THIS A WRAPPED PRESENT THERE IS A FLAP THATS NOT STUCK DOWN ASDFGHJKL WE MUST FIX THIS"

    • @MrGameManIsCool
      @MrGameManIsCool 8 років тому +3

      Lmao hahahha

    • @kk12345-l
      @kk12345-l 8 років тому +2

      True

    • @CopperCassie
      @CopperCassie 8 років тому +5

      He can only bully Phil :))))))

    • @kk12345-l
      @kk12345-l 8 років тому +1

      +CopperCassie yep

    • @eileen9629
      @eileen9629 8 років тому +20

      I was looking for a comment like this and I'm so glad I found it.

  • @SassySoda
    @SassySoda 8 років тому +1757

    Every time Dan pulls a party popper, it just reminds me of his very first video and i can't help but laugh. I love him.

  • @tylerjosephsukulele8497
    @tylerjosephsukulele8497 8 років тому +3207

    Dan: I can't wrap Christmas presents
    A few years later and he is yelling at Phil for his wrapping skills😂

  • @raindappleleafdapple4036
    @raindappleleafdapple4036 8 років тому +3042

    Mom: Set up the table for dinner!
    Me: Okay! * whispers * Just one six minute video...

  • @bluestar7973
    @bluestar7973 8 років тому +542

    At my work, someone ALWAYS asks me where the most random things are that I don't know a flying frisbee about.

    • @sleeplessdoe2097
      @sleeplessdoe2097 8 років тому +34

      Someone always asks me about spring water and if anything is "in the back".
      I work at Wendy's.

    • @growleen4782
      @growleen4782 8 років тому +6

      Now I know why I can never find the beef jerky in stores.

    • @forrestparsons5155
      @forrestparsons5155 8 років тому

      Bluestar797

    • @TearsofaGhost
      @TearsofaGhost 8 років тому +26

      I hate working retail. I hate when someone's standing right in front of something and they ask where it is. Like dumbass open your eyes. Or they have two similar products and ask which one's better. Like how the fuck do you expect me to know? One time someone was looking at pans and kept picking ones up and asking me if it was oven safe, like bitch if it doesn't say on the package then how am I supposed to know. I'm not a fucking pan expert. This isn't a cooking store.

    • @adrianoines521
      @adrianoines521 7 років тому

      I work at lush so its easy af

  • @tove8719
    @tove8719 8 років тому +422

    I feel slightly less awkward now

  • @tobitoes1052
    @tobitoes1052 9 років тому +669

    One time my grandad pulled a sickie to go to the cricket... his boss saw him at the game on TV.

  • @abbeygoodridge5483
    @abbeygoodridge5483 8 років тому +944

    "Happy leap year"
    Omg it's a leap year today o.o

    • @Gijane3
      @Gijane3 8 років тому

      Same

    • @shegoeshometoacactuss3169
      @shegoeshometoacactuss3169 8 років тому

      WE ARE ALL DYING AAAAAAHH

    • @emilychen1600
      @emilychen1600 8 років тому +4

      I see bryana holly 👀

    • @abbeygoodridge5483
      @abbeygoodridge5483 8 років тому

      em chen 😏

    • @Alicia-gh8qm
      @Alicia-gh8qm 8 років тому

      +The Kawaii Panda yes because it hasn't been a full two months yet so UA-cam still says 1 month it will say 2 months when it goes past the 29th of April

  • @jumanasalman5211
    @jumanasalman5211 8 років тому +3635

    Danisonfired
    sorry,
    that had to be said....
    ill leave now...

  • @DumbSnowman
    @DumbSnowman 8 років тому +396

    this has been in my watch later playlist since he released this...

  • @mockingariana2
    @mockingariana2 8 років тому +914

    my stomach hurts from laughing

  • @dyedviolet7349
    @dyedviolet7349 8 років тому +2431

    Is it possible to be Internet Socially Awkward?

  • @zoeishere5910
    @zoeishere5910 8 років тому +2882

    I cant belive you sold an axe to a kid? wtf daniel. XD

    • @kyliekarsh3584
      @kyliekarsh3584 8 років тому +292

      awkwardness controls us all

    • @emms0003
      @emms0003 7 років тому +5

      I'm your 666th like
      ....
      Mwa haha

    • @claudiaaguilar9376
      @claudiaaguilar9376 7 років тому +16

      considering how awkward he is I can believe it

    • @eb7446
      @eb7446 7 років тому +21

      Are we sure he just deep down wanted to be fired? There's some Freudian psychology at work in his mess ups at part time jobs.

    • @kaitlinshaw1405
      @kaitlinshaw1405 7 років тому +1

      Zo

  • @vmhh2217
    @vmhh2217 8 років тому +272

    Dan... u... sold... an axe... to... a... kid... what is life anymore😂😂😂

  • @annasnotabanana
    @annasnotabanana 8 років тому +662

    I'm really scared right now because I'm really sick but my mom refused to call my school to tell them I wouldn't be there, so I'm paranoid that a cop is gonna show up at my door at any second. SO I'm watching all of Dan's Reasons Why Dan's A Fail videos so I remember that I'm not alone in this unfair universe

    • @NTonks-xn4tv
      @NTonks-xn4tv 8 років тому +2

      AnnaIsNotABanana
      😂😂

    • @celine.6461
      @celine.6461 8 років тому +4

      +AnnaIsNotABanana any updates?

    • @annasnotabanana
      @annasnotabanana 8 років тому +38

      runawayluek No cops ever showed up and I never got called down to the office so I think it's all good lmao

    • @emilymarierobertson
      @emilymarierobertson 8 років тому +16

      AnnaIsNotABanana I missed 47 days of school my freshman year, and nothing happened but a visit from a truancy officer to our apartment. Literally nothing happened to me, and I was never punished or had a phone call checking on us. Missing ONE DAY is beyond okay with the school as long as it's not a regular thing. Do not worry.

    • @kenziecole_green2789
      @kenziecole_green2789 8 років тому +3

      AnnaIsNotABanana awww I hope your better by now and the cop didn't show up hopefully

  • @keepXonXrockin
    @keepXonXrockin 9 років тому +87

    The "Imnew" joke get's me every time. every god damn time.

  • @carenkoh
    @carenkoh 8 років тому +75

    aw it's kinda adorable how red he is from being so embarrassed even years later

  • @michellehinds7012
    @michellehinds7012 8 років тому +314

    at my work there used to be a guy who whenever anyone asked were something was he'd send them to isle 13

  • @sugarwax3154
    @sugarwax3154 8 років тому +796

    I'm laying in my bed, drinking iced coffee in a mug, and eating Cheetos at 3 am. What am I doing with my life

    • @chi8572
      @chi8572 8 років тому +30

      You're being a champion at it, that's what

    • @sugarwax3154
      @sugarwax3154 8 років тому +7

      +Nugget Chicken Thank you. 😂

    • @jessicacook379
      @jessicacook379 8 років тому +15

      I'm like pooing everywhere

    • @josefaferreirasoto7015
      @josefaferreirasoto7015 8 років тому +14

      You are doing what I want to do with my life

    • @memelordhowellsmolbeanlest888
      @memelordhowellsmolbeanlest888 8 років тому +6

      Phanicatthetwentyonemcrcybabies omg i thought you wrote a Cheeto Sandwich i was like "......... NEW INVENTION!!!!!!!!!"

  • @un_heavenly
    @un_heavenly 9 років тому +297

    "Now my house isn't going to explode."

  • @dearestdalya8562
    @dearestdalya8562 8 років тому +174

    When my aunt worked at Home Depot, if someone asked her for absolutely anything, she would just speak in Hebrew, usually just saying random words. And then she met someone who spoke Hebrew. That's how she was fired

  • @amazingphanisntnfire2679
    @amazingphanisntnfire2679 8 років тому +60

    Omg in my local ASDA about a year ago there was a massive poster that had Dan and phils faces on and it said the amazing tour is not on fire is coming soon lol

  • @scoobertdoobert8332
    @scoobertdoobert8332 10 років тому +404

    how arkward would it be if dan's manager saw this video...

  • @pongsiewwee6957
    @pongsiewwee6957 8 років тому +534

    What Dan's tag said: I'm New
    What I read: I'm Newt
    .....
    *cries over Page 250*

  • @marteenie7189
    @marteenie7189 10 років тому +61

    He got fired because he went to Reading Festival. Now he got to host it and interview bands with Phil.
    I'M LIKE A PROUD MOM. I'M CRYING.

  • @stephannytorres1667
    @stephannytorres1667 8 років тому +114

    I am literally deceased at Dan's impression of his mum XD

    • @jakebello7988
      @jakebello7988 5 років тому +4

      “He’s at Reading Festival with his friends! LoL!”

  • @Jake.mp5
    @Jake.mp5 9 років тому +533

    im a young teenager and im looking for a good role model, then i found you... im going to jail

    • @char8109
      @char8109 9 років тому

      Haha

    • @neverupload2802
      @neverupload2802 9 років тому

      I CANNOT STOP LAUGHING!!

    • @reck1essandrest1ess50
      @reck1essandrest1ess50 9 років тому

      Same

    • @darkraine6612
      @darkraine6612 9 років тому

      +Jake Barra pretty much the same thing for me...andd this would happen to me since I'm such an awkward person around people..yeah.

    • @maryispanda
      @maryispanda 9 років тому

      We all have done the same

  • @woozbee
    @woozbee 3 місяці тому +4

    watching this a dozen years later and seeing how different videos used to be is so interesting. much less fastpaced, less distraction, literally just dan telling a story. and still just as entertaining :>

  • @shrimpieshoo1671
    @shrimpieshoo1671 9 років тому +168

    "Oh no really why?" "Oh no." "Oh no really? Heh." "Yeah yeah I understand."
    HOLY SHIT I DIED
    THE SARCASM

  • @name-mb2rz
    @name-mb2rz 8 років тому +607

    How i got Danisnotonfired lol

  • @shayjones5495
    @shayjones5495 10 років тому +299

    rewatching Dan and Phil's older videos is great.

    • @Sbabaragnao90
      @Sbabaragnao90 10 років тому

      I know right ❤️

    • @shayjones5495
      @shayjones5495 10 років тому +3

      The memorieees and Dans fringe XD

    • @summert0377
      @summert0377 10 років тому +1

      His first video made me cringe so hard oh my god!

    • @shayjones5495
      @shayjones5495 10 років тому +1

      Summer Taher omfg yessss sometimes I just watch his first one and then watch one or two of his newer videos and wonder how the hell he went from that to THAT, yknow? Like...it's monumental.

    • @summert0377
      @summert0377 10 років тому +1

      Shay Jones Ah, it's so funny! He was even more awkward then he is now! I have a playlist of his video's and I'm watching them oldest to newest xD

  • @TheDaxter234
    @TheDaxter234 8 років тому +516

    Did he say "Danecdotes"?

    • @charmablewolf7736
      @charmablewolf7736 8 років тому +11

      yup :3

    • @meisjj
      @meisjj 8 років тому +19

      HE DID HAHAHAGA

    • @gguuki
      @gguuki 8 років тому +30

      Yeah. he made up this thing called "Danecdotes" which are pretty much anecdotes but with Dan

    • @Epialesvibes
      @Epialesvibes 5 років тому

      He said Danecdotes.

  • @lillygreen3693
    @lillygreen3693 8 років тому +103

    So Dan had only made 46 videos and he already had a merch line..... meanwhile my parents keep forgetting my name

    • @haliaaa
      @haliaaa 7 років тому +3

      Lilly Green i think my parents forgot that they have a daughter

    • @greysonalex
      @greysonalex 6 років тому

      my grandma mix me up sometimes since i have a sister and a cousin who stays at my grandmas often

  • @midnightshutdown
    @midnightshutdown 8 років тому +46

    this makes my 'getting fired' stories look like getting a pat on the back and a good referral

  • @MidcoreGamer
    @MidcoreGamer 8 років тому +74

    I had to watch this after getting fired from my first job in only 1 and a half months. Its depressing :(

    • @zoemattey9399
      @zoemattey9399 8 років тому +1

      Unknown what happened? :o

    • @popsicko6493
      @popsicko6493 8 років тому +3

      At least you're not like my friend who got fired from her cafe job after 5 days for no reason.

    • @zoemattey9399
      @zoemattey9399 8 років тому +5

      Unknown I'm coming back to this since I got fired this thursday after exactly two months lol. I haven't signed a contract yet so after asking my boss something about next week on WhatsApp, he was like 'I'm hella annoyed with you asking questions so I'm making up reasons for you to be fired'. I cried and then I laughed and then I did both because it was just so ridiculous.

    • @twentyonephansatthepitypar1131
      @twentyonephansatthepitypar1131 8 років тому

      Zoey Mattey really?

  • @madiandbrianna9636
    @madiandbrianna9636 8 років тому +162

    This has nothing to do with the video but I just remembered it and wanted to share it: I was at a father-daughter dance for kindergarten-8th grade. 70% of the girls were kindergarteners, and I was so awkward because I'M HORRIBLE with kids under 6. My friend Emily was hitting it up with tons of little girls and I was just hangin out with my dad like,"Please can we leave." So, later I was getting a cupcake with Emily, and a little girl came up to me and asked,"Do you want to dance with me?" Being me, I tensed up, gave an awkward smile, and said,"Uh, that's okay!" Then I turned and walked away without looking back.
    So yeah... That says a lot about me😂

    • @unknownunknown3140
      @unknownunknown3140 8 років тому

      + Madi and Brianna That's a different, uhm, ah- story.

    • @jasminmalone3524
      @jasminmalone3524 8 років тому +6

      Madi and Brianna i was at a valontimes dance my boyfrend was dancing with his ex really flerty like so i went and got a cup of drink and pored it down his bake and told him to go dance with her now then me and her got in a fight she spent 6 hours geting redy i spent 1 hour i riped her 2 hour heir out

  • @MichaelStone-x4j
    @MichaelStone-x4j Рік тому +6

    i Watched this age 9 and now im 18 and the stories of focus still haunt me and make me panic at my retail job

  • @faith5831
    @faith5831 8 років тому +56

    This is literally my third comment on this video. I commented once 2 months ago and once a week ago. This is one of my favorite of his videos.

  • @caitlyn4175
    @caitlyn4175 9 років тому +258

    but he still has the nametag though

  • @Nomoreoverthink
    @Nomoreoverthink 9 років тому +76

    this is why i dont even attempt to work tbh

  • @khjwyf_
    @khjwyf_ 9 років тому +23

    0:57 "Hello there, Imnu (I'm new)." I. Fucking. Died. I cannot breathe.

  • @sophiegeppert
    @sophiegeppert 8 років тому +114

    Dan should do the calling in sick to places I don't work at with Phil 😂😂

  • @katiekeller9254
    @katiekeller9254 9 років тому +93

    So basically, rules for working in retail:
    1. Don't sell an ax to a twelve year old.
    2. Don't call your boss and tell them you have diarrhea in order to get out of work.

    • @jennyscalise3253
      @jennyscalise3253 9 років тому +4

      I tell my bosses I have diarrhea all the time. No joke.

    • @LouiseKlinkenberg
      @LouiseKlinkenberg 9 років тому +11

      3. also don't have diarrhoea

    • @thecinematicmind
      @thecinematicmind Рік тому +1

      3. Don’t press the big red button
      4. Sleep before work and don’t get too drunk.

  • @Ismelllikethestreet
    @Ismelllikethestreet 9 років тому +362

    That cover up for 'Asda' though 😂

    • @phantrashandbandtrash4887
      @phantrashandbandtrash4887 9 років тому +1

      ikr omg

    • @cammarc
      @cammarc 9 років тому +9

      OMG! U don't know how 2 speak Internet! *dat *tho

    • @roeamv
      @roeamv 9 років тому +10

      +Andrew Bulger or she knows how to speak English! =D

    • @cammarc
      @cammarc 9 років тому

      ***** I know it's correct. I was just kidding.
      .

    • @roeamv
      @roeamv 9 років тому +3

      Andrew Bulger I know, I'm a very sarcastic person and I tend to use it on the internet when you can't really tell xD I apologize if it was taken offensively.

  • @knittedrachael
    @knittedrachael Рік тому +10

    can i just say two things
    1) this is what happens when you hire young, inexperienced staff and do not give them adequate training
    2) this is what happens when you hire young, inexperienced staff and do not pay them enough so they do not feel valued and therefore do not give a shirt about a) their job or b) your company

  • @sammiss3804
    @sammiss3804 8 років тому +19

    I quit my jobs before they fire me so I don't kill myself from rejection

  • @luna-tc5sg
    @luna-tc5sg 9 років тому +131

    My phone just had a stroke and crashed UA-cam. Ughhh

    • @CoolVictor2002
      @CoolVictor2002 9 років тому +9

      Skylar West because dan is too awesome....

    • @fatimas9544
      @fatimas9544 9 років тому +6

      ***** *universe

    • @CoolVictor2002
      @CoolVictor2002 9 років тому +1

      ***** dam it why did you comment? your stealing my like buttons! XD

    • @heatherwillbanks9596
      @heatherwillbanks9596 9 років тому +27

      Sorry.... Had a stroke

    • @luna-tc5sg
      @luna-tc5sg 9 років тому +4

      Whoops, had a stroke

  • @puggles-bb2ps
    @puggles-bb2ps 10 років тому +489

    i wish i could click the like button more

  • @noahatlas5240
    @noahatlas5240 10 років тому +53

    Working at a grocery store with social anxiety is just awful

    • @zeldabelle
      @zeldabelle 10 років тому +9

      I feel your pain! I'm autistic and I was in pets at home with my mum and I went to a different aisle with my puppy when this woman came up to me and started talking to me and I freaked out (I'm not very good at social interaction!😋) but I kept it together till we got in the car and had a massive panic attack and then we got stuck in traffic! I fail at life!

    • @887lizzieb
      @887lizzieb 10 років тому +1

      Eve Cushnaghan i feel for you. i am autistic aswell :'(

    • @noahatlas5240
      @noahatlas5240 10 років тому +2

      Eve Cushnaghan HUGS FOR EVERYONE

    • @zeldabelle
      @zeldabelle 10 років тому +1

      *HUGS BACK*😜

  • @EmFromGSA
    @EmFromGSA 2 роки тому +1

    Just watched your newest essay video about “the past 2 years”
    “how I got Fired” was the first video of yours I’d ever seen
    I think I was 14?????
    I was just a casual Dan viewer, but wow am I ever excited for your new content 💖💖💖

  • @Lavenderkake
    @Lavenderkake 10 років тому +5

    You always know how to put a smile on my face and cheer me up, just before watching this I was extremely depressed and was telling myself that I had nobody, and no one cared, and that I was just a huge fail, but then I thought "okay... think clearly, Ke'Lea. What you need to do is watch Dan's videos, he always knows how to make you smile" And a part of me was just so deep in depression like "no, you pathetic freak, sulk in your misery." And the other part was screaming "no, watch Dan's videos, you are going to cry and you are going lower yourself and you will go to bed upset, and you might not even want to wake up in the morning. You need to do this for yourself" and I did, and I'm better and I'm smiling. Thank you, Cutes. I love you so much. You mean the world to me.

  • @iLyddz
    @iLyddz 9 років тому +64

    Dan is probably the reason why Focus is no longer in business...

  • @trazyliu
    @trazyliu 10 років тому +6

    LOL I love you Dan. Every time when I think nobody can ever be more awkward than me, I come to watch your videos and realize that I'm not that awkward afterall

  • @RandomlyCuteTV
    @RandomlyCuteTV 8 років тому +19

    "instead of just finding someone to help them....*acts like he knows what he's doing*"
    OKAY BUT I WORK AT A CHINESE RESTAURANT AND I DONT KNOW A LOT ABOHT THE FOOD SO WHEN SOMEONE ASKS WHATS IN A DISH I JUST MAKE UP SHIT INSTEAD OF ASKING A CO WORKER

  • @missphoeb
    @missphoeb 10 років тому +126

    "And then the police came and I got shouted at"
    My whole life ^_^

  • @larianesiqueira2671
    @larianesiqueira2671 10 років тому +359

    Oh god, i've just started to watch Dan and Phill about 2/3 days ago, and I have already watched almost all of their videos, INCLUDING the collabs, I followed to them in almost every website, stalked Dan because I'm weird and and he is the perfection in person, I'm going crazy HELP! D'=

    • @flyingelephants5251
      @flyingelephants5251 10 років тому

      SAME

    • @caseyharrington4947
      @caseyharrington4947 10 років тому

      Girl told me about this a week ago, internet came back yesterday, now watching all of then!

    • @MrCommentor2
      @MrCommentor2 10 років тому +1

      It's not a problem. He's just super relatable and funny.

    • @saumyagupta1210
      @saumyagupta1210 10 років тому

      same thing happened to me about a month ago!

    • @willthewiise
      @willthewiise 10 років тому +3

      Welcome to the phandom

  • @Charmynox
    @Charmynox 9 років тому +45

    "Oh yeah everywhere. Just all over the floor.."
    Is this what inspired Kittens & Steamrollers or...

  • @marsmagari
    @marsmagari 6 років тому +2

    i made a big mistake at work today and i’ve been stressing out like mad, but watching this made me feel so much better thank you☺️

  • @ImHereNowNotTomorrow
    @ImHereNowNotTomorrow 11 років тому +18

    Seriously I SWEAR I could smell the firework-bottle-thing in the beginning of the video. I'm not kidding. I am so scared right now.

  • @candidcurlychloe
    @candidcurlychloe 9 років тому +106

    Am I the only American who has ZERO idea what store Dan is referring too?

    • @gwyn3642
      @gwyn3642 9 років тому +4

      Walmart basically

    • @candidcurlychloe
      @candidcurlychloe 9 років тому +1

      Gwyneth Griffiths yeah umm google taught me that lol thanks tho

    • @amber6300
      @amber6300 9 років тому +16

      Hes referring to Asda which is basically the British version of Walmart

    • @AbraminWonderland
      @AbraminWonderland 9 років тому +6

      +Chloe Pineapples Asda, which is the UK equivilent and sister company to Walmart

    • @moonmelodies8974
      @moonmelodies8974 8 років тому +4

      It's a British store called Asda.

  • @brooke1257
    @brooke1257 Рік тому +7

    The way I fucked up at work today and came back to this 11 YEAR OLD video for mental support…..lmao it worked though

  • @juliakirby5451
    @juliakirby5451 8 років тому +1

    Dan's stories mad an absolutely awful night into one in which I was able to laugh. He will never stop being my hero.

  • @sunnivamilne5399
    @sunnivamilne5399 3 роки тому +3

    Just started a new job that involves customer service, and this video makes me feel so much better

  • @luvbird
    @luvbird 10 років тому +713

    It's funny cause he got *fired* for selling a *fire* *axe*.

    • @haniasmektata7933
      @haniasmektata7933 9 років тому +12

      He didnt get fired because of that
      He was fired for being akward x'D

    • @CinnamonVulpes
      @CinnamonVulpes 9 років тому +80

      10/10 Dan Is Not On *Fire* got *fired* for selling a *fire* axe

    • @haniasmektata7933
      @haniasmektata7933 9 років тому

      Лиса и игровом мирЕ looool

    • @jemmawright8378
      @jemmawright8378 9 років тому +1

      It was for being too awkward actually but yea

    • @catziman
      @catziman 9 років тому +10

      Brink Edendon't get fired
      craft

  • @harriethall6996
    @harriethall6996 9 років тому +91

    Is no one gonna talk about the 'chow' at the end?!?? SO FREAKING CUTE

    • @miriancristina4726
      @miriancristina4726 9 років тому +2

      +Harriet Hall I think it's "tchau"

    • @Geekio6613
      @Geekio6613 9 років тому +7

      +Harriet Hall It's spelled "Ciao". It's foreign.

    • @miriancristina4726
      @miriancristina4726 9 років тому +1

      +I'm a geek, not a nerd "ciao" it's Italian, mean "hi"
      I think he said "tchau", means bye in portuguese

    • @Geekio6613
      @Geekio6613 9 років тому

      mirian cristina Oh, ok. Sorry about the confusion.

    • @anna-jr5pu
      @anna-jr5pu 9 років тому

      +mirian cristina but ciao in Italian can mean either hi or bye in Italian so really it could be either

  • @leonietia2311
    @leonietia2311 3 роки тому +1

    9 years on and the ‘I’m New’ part makes me cry laugh every time

  • @jacobnichols1391
    @jacobnichols1391 10 років тому +42

    Wait... Is there an age requirement law to buy an axe? ... I feel like that's good but at the same time I actually feel like they took away one of my freedoms just now :( I'm 14 but never had an axe

  • @emilyshayde1341
    @emilyshayde1341 9 років тому +221

    I don't know if I want Dan or want to be dan

    • @harleyquinn1329
      @harleyquinn1329 9 років тому +1

      Probably want Dan, since he gets in a lot of trouble

    • @PhobeBarrymore
      @PhobeBarrymore 9 років тому +36

      I would want to be Dan, then you get to look in the mirror AND live with Phil Lester.

    • @laurajan8569
      @laurajan8569 9 років тому +3

      BE DAN

  • @shortgrain7893
    @shortgrain7893 8 років тому +34

    Omg Dan worked at retail XD Domics did as well and he hated it like you did Dan.

  • @medalliaclair
    @medalliaclair Рік тому +1

    Thank you, Dan. This video makes me feel so much better about myself 💖

  • @dainty.tricia
    @dainty.tricia 8 років тому +36

    I died laughing when he said Danicdote!

    • @lovebotcalum
      @lovebotcalum 7 років тому +1

      TrishyFishy25 I died when he smelled the popper.. I'm weird.

  • @arianaross5013
    @arianaross5013 3 роки тому +3

    This the kind of UA-cam content I’m missing fr fr. 😔

  • @jessicatidwell5535
    @jessicatidwell5535 4 роки тому +3

    Currently binge watching these videos that my life revolved around during my younger emo years

  • @Ash-wo3ub
    @Ash-wo3ub 6 років тому +1

    I had a very shitty day today, I saw this on my recommended list and watched it and it made my day better by at least 75% ❤️ thank u

  • @carmellababbitt1130
    @carmellababbitt1130 10 років тому +2912

    whos watching this in 2015 and having a danathon

  • @riverstylesnoble5996
    @riverstylesnoble5996 9 років тому +298

    yay im not the only one who likes the smell of party poppers

    • @karonpatterson9433
      @karonpatterson9433 9 років тому

      I love the smell too, at parties I always pick up the paper and smell it. I'm weird.

    • @riverstylesnoble5996
      @riverstylesnoble5996 9 років тому

      Megan Smith either we're both weird or we're just slightly more normal than we thought i always find the actual cannony bit smells the strongest

    • @annabelh2315
      @annabelh2315 9 років тому

      Asda

    • @riverstylesnoble5996
      @riverstylesnoble5996 9 років тому

      Seane Mail yes!

    • @morganmcknight782
      @morganmcknight782 9 років тому +1

      RiverStylesNoble I was just about to comment that! Great minds think alike

  • @stedmangg
    @stedmangg 11 років тому +86

    1:19 Doesn't censor "fuck"
    3:36 Censors "fucking"

    • @stedmangg
      @stedmangg 11 років тому +13

      ...is what it doesn't make.

    • @esteezeller8567
      @esteezeller8567 11 років тому +8

      ***** He does that in other videos too. I DON'T UNDERSTAND. I mean it's already illogical censoring one video but not another but WITHIN one video it's just absolutely pointless. Oh Dan.

    • @hannahmccollough
      @hannahmccollough 11 років тому +3

      Sophie T maybe he missed it while editing by mistake...

    • @esteezeller8567
      @esteezeller8567 11 років тому

      Yeah but that happens a lot.

    • @eclecticgal2
      @eclecticgal2 10 років тому +3

      It's okay as a noun, but an adjective?! God forbid!! lol

  • @angela-vq6ss
    @angela-vq6ss 8 років тому +96

    PAUSE AT 1:33 HES SO ADORABLE I CANT 😊

    • @ashisreallytired9006
      @ashisreallytired9006 8 років тому +4

      Oh God!

    • @annamarie2207
      @annamarie2207 7 років тому +5

      ThatWeirdFangirlTM WHEN IS HE NOT CUTE?!!!? cx

    • @ethanc1566
      @ethanc1566 7 років тому

      Angela García oh. My heart..... ah....... the freakin...... can't.... even..... cute... dan....overload..... SELF DESTRUCTKBDISMAIWNDBSJKS

    • @memegod5399
      @memegod5399 6 років тому

      Wtf

  • @stupidgiraffe7804
    @stupidgiraffe7804 8 років тому +57

    " kill me, kill me, kill me " same

    • @jakebello7988
      @jakebello7988 5 років тому

      Stupid Giraffe “please, god, help...”

  • @demacomics5019
    @demacomics5019 8 років тому +17

    hahahhaha omg i was having a bad day this made my day i love dan

  • @generalimlerith8356
    @generalimlerith8356 11 років тому +6

    Omg i hate laughing at your misery dan but man you make me laugh my ass off lol some of your skits are more creative than some late night shows kudos to you :D

  • @bellallen
    @bellallen Місяць тому +1

    i'm aware this video is twelve years old but the "imnew" joke is generally hilarious

  • @joshuawlodarczyk
    @joshuawlodarczyk 8 років тому +5

    Four years ago today. Today is the 2016 leap year. Historical things, my friends.

  • @HK-jb6hi
    @HK-jb6hi 9 років тому +110

    Me: w..wall... wallmart?
    Friend: The fuck of course it’s wall mart he’s hinting
    Me: YAS I KNEW IT!
    australia only has k mart coles woolworths and other shit and not asda or wall mart forgive me

    • @narlonnus
      @narlonnus 9 років тому

      +Hannah Kim BILO xD

    • @kiml2454
      @kiml2454 9 років тому

      +Hannah Kim yeah, we're so 'deprived' XD

    • @pariskennedy9388
      @pariskennedy9388 8 років тому +2

      I'm telling the prime minister that we need more brands

    • @kiml2454
      @kiml2454 8 років тому

      Paris Kennedy go for it, girl

    • @joeyalex7160
      @joeyalex7160 8 років тому +1

      Damn u Kmart why can't we have Walmart or in South Australia, Starbucks.

  • @hgyhjd888
    @hgyhjd888 11 років тому +69

    just went thru a really bad break up....DAN TIME

    • @hgyhjd888
      @hgyhjd888 11 років тому +17

      dan can always make anyone's day c':

    • @mythvanx
      @mythvanx 11 років тому +2

      ***** always.

    • @ericmosell3653
      @ericmosell3653 10 років тому

      You look like you're like 14 at most lol. How did a bad breakup happen at age 14?

    • @ericmosell3653
      @ericmosell3653 10 років тому

      Still though. Sorry bout it

    • @hgyhjd888
      @hgyhjd888 10 років тому +2

      im 15 cx lol & it was a 9 month relationship:/ but ovver it now (: thanks tho

  • @gvdr5891
    @gvdr5891 8 років тому

    Why are Dan's descriptions always so awesome

  • @Geeky.rainbow.vampire
    @Geeky.rainbow.vampire 9 років тому +19

    I did practically the same thing when I volunteered at the Library over the summer... at least one time, one of the librarians came up to me with a small girl and said something like "she's looking for this book, and she really needs it and she's in a hurry, can you help her find it?" and me being... well... me... I agreed awkwardly(even though I had no shucking idea how or where to find it) so I just anxiously wandered through the kids section hoping that she'd miraculously find it... No such luck... Yeah... she eventually went back to the librarian and I went back to my post to sign kids up for the summer reading program, while thinking 'kill me now...'

    • @heathercain5128
      @heathercain5128 9 років тому +2

      Oh god the same thing happened to me when I had to do community service and the little girl I helped was soo picky with a certain that I just wanted to field goal kick her through the window

    • @phanicatthetwentyonefallou1513
      @phanicatthetwentyonefallou1513 9 років тому

      +Heather Cain same
      i was doing community service at a library too and this little kid was so annoying

    • @nightlock.lottie5944
      @nightlock.lottie5944 9 років тому +1

      THE MAZE RUNNER FANDOM IS HERE

    • @voltronkilledme6652
      @voltronkilledme6652 8 років тому

      YOU USED A GLADER TERM!! DASHNERARMY UNITE!! I FREAKING LOVE THE MAZE RUNNER AND I'M THE BIGGEST FANGIRL OF THE MAZE RUNNER IN MY SCHOOL!! OR HOMETOWN.

    • @thg_2728
      @thg_2728 8 років тому

      Did someone say shucking?

  • @yikes6780
    @yikes6780 8 років тому +18

    Your life is just like a TV series.

  • @TheGirlInFandomWorld
    @TheGirlInFandomWorld 5 років тому +4

    Dan in the pumpkin carving video: My costume represents the time I sold an axe to a child.
    Me: Oh Dan you so silly
    Dan in this video: I got fired because I sold an axe to a child.
    Me: * surprised Pikachu meme *

  • @jorgee2320
    @jorgee2320 8 років тому +2

    I enjoy every Dan's video because I can relate so much

  • @peachesbloom
    @peachesbloom 8 років тому +54

    his diarrhea excuse is my cramps excuse (i don't have cramps)

    • @RandomJojo
      @RandomJojo 8 років тому +12

      Lucky. I use cramps as an excuse because I actually have them really bad but no one believes me I had to run a mile it was terrible

    • @savannahaleksic5965
      @savannahaleksic5965 8 років тому

      Luiza Moretti I don't get them often but when I do it hurts bad

    • @popsicko6493
      @popsicko6493 8 років тому +1

      +Random Jojo (Jordan Budnar) I'm the same. Usually on the first day I start I have crippling pain and I keep going hot and cold (feels like my skin is breathing), everything is brighter and over exposed and I feel like I'm gonna past out or throw up.

    • @svanaiceland232
      @svanaiceland232 7 років тому +1

      Angelynn
      I despise the fact that you're not having cramps, IT'S UNFAIR

  • @mylifeismylaptop8529
    @mylifeismylaptop8529 2 роки тому +4

    1:19 lol me when they put me in the sports section at the bookstore where I work

  • @jillianrodgers6690
    @jillianrodgers6690 10 років тому +31

    I think I might have had something like this happen to me. I was at a DIY store, and we were getting paint to paint our bathroom, and asked this teenagery guy if he knew if we could mix certain paints to get certain color, because my step mom is extremely picky about that kind of thing. So he directed us to the other side of the store, to the paint station, and the people there knew what they were doing, and they told us we can only get colors off of the wall, and my step mom was PISSED. She ran back to where the guys was, and we couldn't find him anywhere.
    The funny thing is, I was directed to grab something from the section he was at, and took it off of the shelf, to find the guys there, and I just burst out laughing and walked away. Yes, this actually happened.

  • @krystallochan
    @krystallochan 8 років тому +1

    anything with Dan make my day better

  • @queenofsalt7515
    @queenofsalt7515 9 років тому +12

    I'm just saying Dan, if her house explodes, you won't see her again.

  • @chloedupras8522
    @chloedupras8522 9 років тому +18

    I died when she said "Imnew" omg i cant

  • @pooseycat802
    @pooseycat802 9 років тому +314

    hello there... imnew
    oh my god i died

  • @wompewompe
    @wompewompe 8 років тому +2

    It another leap year time to rewatch