Things You Can Say to a Man That You Can’t Say to a Woman - Mark Normand - Live @ the Apt
Вставка
- Опубліковано 19 тра 2019
- Mark Normand notes a few double standards between men and women and explains why he’s more honest when he’s hungover. (Contains strong language.)
This video is brought to you by Comedy Central in partnership with its original creator, Above Average.
Above Average release date: July 7, 2016
Subscribe to Comedy Central Stand-Up: / @standup
Watch more Comedy Central Stand-Up: / standup
Follow Comedy Central Stand-Up:
Twitter: / standup
Facebook: / standup
Instagram: / ccstandup
Watch full Comedy Central stand-up specials: www.cc.com/topic/stand-up
#StandUp .
Comedy Central Stand-Up: Anti-Bias Statement: www.cc.com/info/k32ti7/ccsu-a... - Комедії
"now it's mentally gay"
Lmfao that is pure genius
Yup, gay *guys* felt that joke on a whole other level
TrashBoi mentally.
@@thejasonbischoff oof
george carlin reference there with the langauge jokes :D hail to the king of comedy and reality
It was funny...but easy on this genius talk.
i'm a simple man. I see kevin Hart, i click.
@@sshoga Norm MacDonald looks so different these days...
@@collinwong7483 I didn't know Norm was gay. Learn something new every day.
Shaka Ingabire um
@@thatnikkakris2339 Shaka, when the walls fell.
I don’t know man, I don’t see colors 😂
"Hit on us ladies....when is that feminist movement gonna kick in?"
HILARIOUS & ON POINT! :D
Here's a comment for ya
Was always my biggest problem with feminists.
Most seem to have embraced equality only in the areas that benefit them, while still expecting men to fulfill the traditionally masculine role.
@@Phatnaru0002 women are not a monolith acting in unison. If you’ve met a woman, you haven’t met every woman. Also btw feminism = supporting and uplifting women. Treating women as humans and equals doesn’t mean they have to be interested in asking you out.
@@MA-zg2pz I didn't say women. I said feminists, which is a political activist group.
Funny for sure
I like how he stood his ground when the audience stopped vibing with him for a while. Great stuff!
What you gotta do
Mark’s a seasoned comic. He doesn’t let the crowd faze him 💪🏻
The mark of a great comic. He would do that for an entire set if he had to
I agree I thought for the most part they were quiet wokesters.
@@johnorson6907 I see what you did there... noice.
Hahahahahahahaha "I'm Kevin Hart have goodnight thank you!" slick
That's how he ends all of his sets.
@@TheDeadStretch i want to end my sets like that. I think I will "appropriate that"
I caught that, did a double take and was like... "HaH" you got me.
Thanks man, if you hadn't said it I would have!
He can never get too famous and say that or kevin hart will sue
“What color is Ray Charles?”
“He’s Blind!”😂👏🏾🔥
Come on man, I got kids... KILLED ME !
I thought he was gonna say "dark white"
Imagine if people were like that with cars... You can’t say the car is black you to say it’s a Lamborghini Gallardo.
“It’s a not a blue SUV it’s a Ford Explorer.”
People are so touchy when it comes to colors. Mentioning that someone is black is not an insult by default. It all depends on context.
You could try ebony
I thought this dude was way funnier than the room seemed to think he was. Tough crowd.
yep random drunks and he is more of ironic comedian)
I think if he paused a little more he would get more laughs.
@@alastairhewitt380 I'll show you some d
@@lilblingking1491 Lol, well played sir
The crowd laughed but they also want to hear what he has to say next.
I love how he always starts with “hey, hey, hey, Comedy right?”
Just jokes.
And finishes with I'm Kevin Hart.
He sells shirts that just say “Comedy!”
"we're really doin' it folks, aaaaaaahhhhh😝"
@@dennisbarrett9302 This!!!
"drowning in a pool of his own blood...not because he can't swim*" cracked me up :P
#metoo
He’s a very underrated comic
Ya he's great!
TiredTanuki that doesn’t mean anything. He hasn’t been doing it for so many years with a handful of jokes.
@TiredTanuki Most comics, especially newer ones have a basic set that they vary/evolve slightly depending on region/audience feedback/experience with the material, and stick with that for their tour or till they finish writing enough material for a new set. This shit is hard a set could kill one night and bomb the next, trying to force unique material into every show when some do 2 a night would just make the results too unpredictable. The greats all have so much material in reserve from the years of working clubs that they can add old jokes based on their experiences with different audiences to make it more varied.
@TiredTanuki im sure he will too but, it's gonna take time. these days comics acquire a much larger audience much quicker than in the past with youtube and everything. it wasn't uncommon in the past for a comic to work his whole life and never be seen by a mass audience and usually, they would be working for 5+ years before you ever saw them on tv or anything.
Who the f*ck would underrate this guy?
this guy delivers like hes a clean comic but hes not lol
💯
He’s a big Seinfeld fan, I think that’s where it comes from.
Reminds me of Norm.
Jeff Trinkle delivers like Seinfeld, subject matter Louis CK.
Well it's a crowd of like 13 people
This was a really strong set. These people almost seem like they didn’t even get the jokes or something. This guy is not only un-PC, he is freaking awesome! If you liked this, you’ve got to watch his Hour long special called Mark Normand out to lunch. It’s so rapid fire, you’ll have to watch it again and again just to get all of the jokes! It’s freaking genius
Probably wokester douches. Looks like a college aged crowd yuck.
Making fun of gay pride protesters is politically correct.
I love him too, Bill.
That's just following the narrative.
He had a couple solid jokes at the end, but overall it was not great for my tastes. I'll add that I don't care about being PC, there are plenty of comedians out there telling incredibly inappropriate jokes that are hilarious. This set just didn't land for me.
😂 let me at least pay for the uber
Youber.
@Scooters Videos that's because it isn't. Maybe "über", but not "uber".
This joke went over the audiences head and it was the best line of the whole set.
@@z0ttel89 you're the definition big a douchebag
What a closing joke , very good .
Very old joke of his.
666th like
Ahhh because racist stereotypes are funny. Got it.
@space boy it's a "very old joke of his" because he's done it since the beginning, not because it isn't comedy?
@@treatedequally7180 he is refuting the stereotypes God damn ur thick
Mark Normand is one of the funniest comedians out there. I find it strange that he`s not huge, if I hadn`t seen him on UA-cam I`d never have known he existed.
He has been really popular for a few years now
"thanks a lot im kevin hart have a good night' LMFAO
3:57 lmaooo " broke guys and gays have a lot in common, both were born that way!! and *women just want to be your friends* lmaoooo
And then when you finally tell your parents....
-uuhh yeah we knew...
"I didn't know he was gay until we fucked."
The sad irony is that every gay man I know -- including me -- has had encounters with women and close female friends who tried to guilt us into bed. A woman used to come hear me sing and she'd get plastered, then paw me and say, "You're not gay, you won't be gay when I'm done with you." The guys in my band couldn't believe I wasn't the least bit attracted to her because they thought she was hot.
@@SpankinHands hit it and quit it.
But make sure she's emotionally prepared tho 👍🏾
@@TCt83067695 Um... no. I'm gay.
1: “What do you look for in a woman?”
2: “A silent one “😂😂😂😂
I can't stand going on two to three dates with a woman and they don't hardly say anything, I'm not asking them to be an open book , I just hate the weight just like a heavy backpack and having to carry the whole conversation.
@@scootover7 three dates? Damn
It should be over the first time.
Are you paying these meals?
I've got a bad flu and I still had more energy to laugh than the entire crowd
Maybe because his jokes offend people
If you saw the actual disregard he had towards Nina agdal
@@freddycareless1723 only weaklings get offended at his jokes.
@@jessejames5335 right ok. I'll take it back sorry.
Dude. Same. I got the flu. I have a "real nasty bug that's been tearing people's stomachs up" dr said and I was in stitches at this
“What’s his ethnicity? Piano player” 😂
There is truth there too. Who does he have more in common with, Usain Bolt or Tori Amos?
“How’d you do on that math test billy?
“I got a D.”
“I’ll show you some D!!”
😂😂😂😂😂
@person below me is gay Oh shit!🤣🤣🤣
you're on Who doesn't want to see their parents genitals!?.
what grade you get kid?
A (ass) B (balls)
C (cock) D (dick)
@@DlcEnergy God forbid you get an F in that case, that's gonna hurt.
Rob Banks
E (ectoplasm) F (fanny)
G (genitals) H (hickey)
nervous. he delivered that joke waay too fast.
He's good. I like that he had balls. Smart comic
ozzie jones forgot a period there, bro. Tighten it up next time.
@@thejasonbischoff ha ha ha fair enough. Oops lol
@@thejasonbischoff Hahahahaha!
What happened to his balls?
@Mm Mmm Probably would have done it just for the kid in front laughing his fucking ass off lol
“My mom bought me a stack of Groucho Marx tapes”
And now his delivery style makes sense.
Yes, now that you mention it... Yes 😃
even right down to the last thing he says on this video and his hand waving gesture.
Oh cool an actual comedian with punchlines, intros, and transitions. This is nice.
"how much you gotta hate a person to make a sign?" dead
"They're more prejudice than I am productive" so freaking relatable. Lol
@@that.ll_do_pig relatable? Lmao
Never clicked on something so fast in my life when I saw Kevin Hart
Did you notice tho?? He got a hair cut. Oh that Kevin Hart!
Who else but Kevin!
Antonio Campos hes got a new mustache, slick
"I didn't know my roommate was gay till we f**ked" ........damn that was funny!!
Top ten anime plot twists
I love this guy's deadpan deliveries and the way he bounces back and forth between half-assed humor and clever humor. No joke, I quite like it
This is why I fell in love with stand up
This is why I went gay.
@@blazedandconfused477 why are you gaeh
*thanks a lot, I’m Kevin Hart*
I know it's coming, and yet I never catch it.
Best thing ever
Help me i dont get the Joke..
Jeez, all this time I thought Kevin Hart was a short black, I mean African-American comic.
I don't get the joke
Who's he?
I like Mark’s style. He’s kind of a throwback comedian. Its just joke, joke, joke, joke. There aren’t a lot of long setups.
Never made a sign in my life.
So relatable.
"wacky labia" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Thats the name of my synth-pop band.
@@vadaski5038 😳😂😂😂... I'm a girl and that was just funny.
I laughed too hard at that line 🤣 10/10 line
Hahahaha
“What color is Ray Charles...blind...what is his ethnicity?....piano player....what color are you?... c’mon I got kids man”
😩😩😆😆😆😆🤣🤣🤣
Man? Did he just assume the gender? OMG disgusting!
Comedy Central actually posted this? This is probably the most un-PC thing they've posted in ages. Holy shit.
This crowd WAS rough, Mark had me in stitches at some points…so underrated.
Nice. First Ali Siddiq and now Mark Normand. Yall starting to get it together
Thats right!
[whispers] Mexican got on boots
@@hughesj *takes off running*
OMG ALI! I could listen to him all day.
This is his is amazing. Love his mellow delivery throughout the whole thing. He was just so casual the whole time.
" What do you look for in a woman? "
" Silence. "
Don't we all..just kidding, ladies, don't bite my head off.
I think for me it's them knowing when to talk and when not to, there is a time and place for everything.
This dude was hilarious. Didn’t seem like the crowd was as into it as I was.
He's not flashy or appalli or enough, but this is funnier than I expected.
It was a pretty small crowd
8
21
& Today
😂😂😂😂
Please say black. I personally prefer it. After 250 years I'm black American period. Thank you for making it make sense. African American's I see as first or second generation citizens. Hilarious!!!
Finally someone who gets it. I mean why call them african american when they are just american? If you say it's because they were originally from Africa, says who? Why don't we call Charlize Theron african american then? Why White and not European American? It's just lame attempts to appease a certain crowd. There is nothing wrong with calling someone what they are, it's only when you try to degrade them for it should anyone have a problem.
Sometimes I say “black”, “blacks”, “black Americans”, same as I’d say “whites”, and sometimes people turn around like it’s a bad thing to say. People got racism all confused and trivialized it so much to the point we can’t even properly communicate anymore.
@@shadowproductions969 don't sweat the petty. Those who try to seperate us get caught up in over corrections. Just carry on.
Yeah I don't like the hyphen wars. Americans we all are. I agree 1st gen would be correct but if born here than American-African would perhaps be a more accurate description in my opinion? If oppose it's probably now the new modern name: Identity politics.
@@beeRADify If we invested 1 percent of our money into unity education from grade school we wouldn't have these issues.
Mark Normand has become one of my favorite comedians. His jokes are so witty, funny and very well written.
LOL. This guy's funny.
YA THINK
@@asherfekadu799 all the time you should try it
Glad that pedo is dead!
Old set, but a goody. Dude needs more recognition.
Great comic. Signature delivery
Never heard of this guy but he has a great sense of humor. Delivers it in a way that everyone can laugh at, at the end of the day. Good stuff!
It's Kevin Hart.
Not everyone
Dude said "thanks alot . i am Kevin Heart . Have a good night " and they didnt notice ,just kept clapping.
I always think these are This Is Not Happening from the thumbnails and get so relieved that I don't have to skip the intro when I realize it's Live @ The Apt.
Robert Frost me too . I also write poetry like the Apache
B nice if they would put on the kind of caliber comedians Ari brought on. Some r good. But....shit that was shaping up to be a good show. Now some of it seems like yeah i worked a a shitty place and a guy got hit in the face with a straw. Then he Farted thank u gnite. Like shit I got better story's then that. I drank beer on the beach while incarcerated
@@SlimboShagginS13 I support whatever that is that you just said!
baaaaaaaaaaw ba ba ba baaaaaw
Now this guy was actually funny. Didn't know CC had it in them.
Never thought Kevin hart would be that funny 🤣👍
Man that last bit killed! It was gold Mark, gold!
So happy to see Mark featured on other programs, hes got a real snap to his delivery I think a few of his better jokes went right over the audience
This dude has a unique delivery style I’ve never heard of him before but he’s good 👍
You might like Norm McDonalds too
Is this your second day looking into stand up?? His podcast Tuesdays with stories.... Look up Patrice O'Neal, (all the black phillip show as well) big jay oakerson, joey Diaz, and FOR FUCKS SAKE DOUG STANHOPE!
@@SlimboShagginS13 _''joey diaz''?_
That closing joke was gold.
His delivery is so unique and original
A newer comedian that makes me honestly laugh, great delivery and good jokes!
This is honestly hilarious, bad crowd
Yeah they kinda sucked
Woke crowd... 👎
T J because they weren’t reacting..?
His zingers and one liners are exactly like Norm McDonald and Rodney dangerfield. Amen to these guys. No drama or politics involved. Just comedy.
“I didn’t know he was gay till we fucked” best line ever
This kevin hart guy is going places
"A woman remembers a compliment for a minute
A man remembers a compliment forever"
Me
Crowd should’ve been laughing harder, these are great jokes 😂
0:12
Him : "hey hey comedy"
Crowd : *laughs*
Me: "Genius"
He's instantly one of my favorite comedians of all time 😍
Every single one of his jokes is funny. 😂👏
he delt with the dead crowd like a professional.. legendary Normand
Haha every one of his jokes is funny and unique. It’s amazing
First time I ever laughed out loud alone while watching a comedian I have never heard of previously. Hilarious
He feels like talking to your friends dad only you’re on a level playing field with him so he’ll talk about more inappropriate things. I like it
"I'm Kevin Hart, have a good night" bless your cheeks you magnificent bastard 😂
This was so refreshingly funny! Haven't laughed this hard at a stand-up act in a long time! Great job Mark!
Guy is a real life Quagmire 😂
How so?
I literally love this guy
"not cuz they cant swim" got me so good
“At least let me pay for the Uber.” 😂
Am I the only one thinking this guys is secretly Norm MacDonald's kid
He has a unique cadence to his speech.
And he’s got “norm” in his name
just stumbled upon this clip and wow, This guy is good. Great set that made me laugh
At 42 seconds the guy wearing the cap in the front row spat out his drink...lol
The rapid movements of "Timmy cleaning his room" made me cough up my lungs!
This guy is so funny he deserves a better crowd
That last joke was absolutely brilliant! Well done, I fell like Mark here is underrated.
"could be a long winter" LMFAO
That was actually pretty good. It's been a while since I've watched some CC standup. Well crafted jokes even without the guffaw.
Check out Nate Bargatze or some old George Carlin stuff (well crafted jokes without unnecessary nonsense)
He has the best timing in the game
This guy is gonna make it. Hilarious! Cant wait to see more
Bro, Mark Normand is a household name. He has already made it.
I can totally see the Groucho influence in his act now that I’ve heard him point it out. That’s super cool.
Makes sense, right?
But for me it's Kermit 🐸 it's like my code name for him 😂 bc of the waving hands
Love this style of comedy, Thanks.
this was really good
first time seeing him but this was great! looking forward to more of him.
"Mentally gay" had me rolling 😂
His set and delivery was so tight he did it at 1.5x speed and still killed. Loving your comedy Mark!
Best Kevin Hart performance yet
I find Mark Normand incredibly attractive, in addition to being hilariously funny.
kevin hart jokes delivered lik mark is an istant classic 😂
The part at the end talking about the comics he likes; It made total sense why I love this.
I literally can't remember the last time someone has made me laugh that hard 😂
"Hit on us ladies, when is that feminist movement gonna kick in" 😂
That line is funny.
That silence though lol
I loved it
I really like this cat! I laughed at almost every joke. He did seem a bit speedier than the last time few times I saw him, but his set up.. transitions are just awesome..really well done.. when he plays LA I'm there!
"Could be a long winter" is one of the most well timed 2nd punchlines I've ever heard