RainAngel111 Me and my fianće are trying so hard at this and my MIL won't get the hint. On the flip side though I'm having a hard time getting my parents to even go. So pick and choose my battles, I guess :/
How we planned our wedding, 1. went to a park and said we need it for a party. It was 75 dollors to use the large pavilion for a day 2. We did the paper work at the courthouse that morning. 3. We said screw formal 4. Got parents to help by burgers/hotdogs/fruit/potatoes etc for a grill out. 5. We said our own vows (no pastor) the park also had swimming, playground, people brought canoes and kayaks for the lake and everyone had fun. 6. Everyone took there own pictures and we just got cupcakes from a local bakery. We didn't stress, we only spent about $150 for the whole thing and everyone still enjoyed themselves. Plus we had a lot of extra for our honeymoon
Almost the same as ours - hired a local lawyer that does weddings (he was cheap). Went on top of a small mountain with our families and my best buddies. Ate sandwiches later that day. Had a party a month later where everyone chipped in for some sort of food while we supplied tax free booze. It was awesome and this year is our 10th anniversary.
+Cliff Hartle And it's harder when either set of parents are paying for any of this. If the couple pays for the whole thing themselves, though, they can be a little more forceful about NOT inviting every person the MIL/FIL has met over the last five years.
weddings need contracts between the people that are involved in these days as much as between the business/service and the couple. "dear parent, we get first pick of guests, if you wish to pay for the extra guests you can go ahead and do so. and if you don't want to pay for the extra guests or the wedding you can throw your own party. All my love -eloping in that trashy dress/oversized tux you hate and sending those as the wedding photos of my Vegas wedding to your friends and relatives that you are trying to impress" emotional blackmail is always the way to go. Many parents pull that shit all the time. it's the bread and butter of many family's.
Well in the time before Queen Victoria marriage was mostly an exchange of money so wedding dresses were often gold or silver and very elaborate to show wealth. But Queen Victoria truly loved Albert and didn't want people to think the marriage was just about money, so she wore a simple white dress to show her love for him.
yes but white dresses were worn before her time i believe or maybe after, but they were worn by the rich as if they got dirty (brown stains) they could be cleaned. the poor could not afford that so they wore brown clothes
Mr. W me too! We used the money as a deposit on a house. Way more useful than throwing money away on a stressful day of people staring at you in an ugly dress.
I'm so glad that ours was super low-key, pretty cheap when compared with other weddings and its always going to be be memorable because someones hair caught fire, the septic tank backed up and my friend went into anaphylactic shock induced labor.
my wife's wedding dress got ruined hours before the ceremony. The ONLY room in the entire hotel to have the fire extinguishers go off and have black soot cover the wedding dress.
Anaphylactic shock caused by an allergic reaction to something. Why would going in to labour cause it to happen? Or do you mean she had an allergic reaction to something. Which caused her to go in to anaphylactic shock. Putting so much stress on her body and baby that it induced labour?
My idea is to do the marriage itself at a court and then throw a small after party for close friends and family emphasis on friends no extended family you never see. Sorry cousin Generic but if you wanted to be a part of this day you should have been part of my life more.
My friend got married-married a month ago but they're throwing the reception in two weeks. Since it's just a party they don't have to deal with the whole "wedding tax" markup, and they can invite their friends!
I feel so bad. I wanted to go to my cousins wedding but understand cost. So it wasn’t a big deal... then it turned into a funk. My mom didn’t get a plus one despite being married for over 30 years. Then she got it. My mom took my sister as her “plus one”... my great aunt said she would bring me as her “plus one” except she didn’t get a plus one (she’s been divorced for over 30 years).🤦🏾♀️ All this drama over a wedding. I felt so bad. We gave a large gift though. I still feel bad for the drama though.
my cousin had her wedding as a surprise wedding in her back yard. invited everyone as a family reunion/friend party. They made it out like they were hosting a get together for our Nana (90 at the time) and sprung it on us. Best, cheapest wedding ever!! no annoying long sermon either... just them reading about their life and how happy they were to have us there. :3
Sigrun Eis I hear some people do make a lot if demands like that. Couples should be considerate of their guests and not make them pay so much money. It's supposed to be a celebration, not a charity ball. That aside, the people who hate weddings that I'm talking about (for example, this group on a misanthrope forum) cited reasons such as, "I have to dress up," and "They want us to act happy for them." I totally understand if the couple makes unreasonable requirements about the dress code that forces people to buy a new, expensive outfit, but if someone just has to dig out a nice suit or something, I don't think that's reason enough to hate the whole wedding.
because they arent enjoyable to go to, you feel like you have to give them a lot of money, and there are all these rules. Like you couldnt have just let me buy you a round at our bar? That would have been nice.
see, i was about to complain about the mmo thing but i realized i shouldn't give a shit cause im 18, a man and there eloping anyways...but then again is that legal?
For the record, the ceremony itself has no legal standing at all. All the legal stuff, including Government recognition, of the marriage comes with the marriage license.
I share this with every person I know who gets engaged or who asks me how my wedding planning is going. I'm in the last month of my logistical hell, and this is just so true and makes me laugh every time.
Oh my gosh. This is so true. *sighs* I remember when we got married almost 4 years ago and how I was trying to satify everyone's opinion. I even changed the date of my wedding a couple of times. The last time I changed it was because my friend decided to have her baby shower on the same day as my wedding. *sighs* and didnt show up because she had to be at a meeting. You will be tempted to just say "Eff it!! Lets just elope, forget everyone and just be!" The party and all that is for people who don't even really care about you. Just focus on the honeymoon and your marriage!!! Period!!! My advice.
Step 12: Congratulations! You are married! Nothing says true love like it being slightly more legally difficult to split up now, but no other changes! Except I guess that if your relationship can survive planning a wedding it can probably survive the aftermath.
Its easy-when I got married we got married in a small chapel downtown, they did all the paperwork. my cousin did our flowers I had three friends whom were photographers, and my friend whom is an amazing baker did our cake. we knew people in each area and boom our wedding planning was zip to zero. and no stress. then after we got married we went to a diner everyone got what they wanted to eat. :)
If I asked my extended family to help with my wedding like that for little to no money, I'd probably be told to go to hell ._. Either that or someone overly confident in their photography skills would bust out their Polaroid that's as old as me, knowing my luck. Actually, my dad is a photographer, but after one bad experience shooting a wedding he's sworn off shooting anymore of them, and I know he'd rather walk me down the aisle.
Sounds a lot like my wedding. Our budget was a frayed & knotted shoestring, but my pastor and our friends all chipped in to make it a beautiful ceremony. One friend helped me make the bouquets. Others did the photography & the music, did my hair & makeup, and provided refreshments (including a beautifully-decorated sheet cake). I wore a lovely tie-dyed dress that was special enough for the wedding, but is still suitable for special occasion wear (if you're an aging hippie. Which I am...). We had free use of the church and had a relaxed reception in the parish hall. (it's the oldest church in the state, so many people pay good money to rent it for weddings. When I asked my pastor what it would cost, he smiled & said, "God will provide!") Altogether, my husband & I spent less than $100, and everyone had a wonderful time. It was a celebration of love & community--not of glitz & status. We consider ourselves greatly blessed to have so many loving friends...
Elope and later have a pot-luck reception somewhere cheap and open air and ask that all gifts be in cash so you can better pay for things in the home. Problem solved.
+TheStoneSpiral except every part of that is tacky and everyone will think you're cheaping out on what they see as a free party. it truly has no way out
Thalia Rossitter Tacky to you is being sensible to me. White dresses, churches and dressed up affairs that put a huge financial burden 'traditionally' on the brides family are what I find tacky. It's not about what the party guests want, it's about the couple getting married. The wedding industry has gotten out of control, demanding ever increasing amounts of money from people who should be putting that money towards building their lives. It's just not worth it in the long run.
***** I'm just going to point out I'm female, and my original post was about eloping, requesting cash gifts and having a potluck reception. :/ Not everyone with tits is against you as a person. But hey, if you're going to refer to half the population as 'creatures', maybe your life alone has more to do with your personality than it has to do with women in general.
***** Females are required to be more social by this culture and pretty much every culture. It's not 'compliance', it's social norms and a gamble for success within certain boundries. Being thrown out of social circles can mean less resources for yourself or a child, less interaction for social needs and less opportunities in general. Consider it a balancing act that some lose out in. And yes, males do the same thing. The 'guy talk' instances where a guy feels pressured to say mean spirited thing or to do 'manly' things that risk their health or life are the same exact social mechanism that you consider 'compliance' among females. As much as you think you're into making waves, I guarantee you still have things you do because it looks right, not because you think it's right. Besides, if women hate men who shrug off social norms, why is there such a stigma about girls wanting 'bad boys' or artists and the like? Or by social norms do you mean general cleanliness and politeness in non-threatening social situations? Because there's a difference between being an unusual person and just being a dick. I should know, I'm a very unusual female, but not to the point that people shun me. Just to the point that they recognize that I'm not typical. Sometimes to their own embarrassment. If you don't see 'creatures' as derogatory, yous till have some thinking and self discovery to do. Just saying.
***** You're going to rationalize everything however you want. But the reality is humans are social creatures, using social attitudes to get what you want is what people do. You do it, don't blame females for doing it. Besides that not all females flirt to get what they want, some just pay for it, in fact most people do that, even males. If you're being betrayed it's because you have a terrible ability to read people. Part of the problem is your own approach, even if you won't admit it. The first definition for creature is an animal or nonhuman. It takes a while down to consider it a word for a person, and even then that usage is more endearing than the one you've chosen. That's just language, you say it refers to anything alive, I take it to mean you think females are non-humans. I'm starting to consider that you think only you are human, everyone else is not. You'll probably keep using it to 'make waves' or whatever. But I can tell right away that once again it's your own attitude that's caused you to be isolated.
When my parents got married they invited all their friends (enough to fill the church's auditorium) and family to the church they met in (a franciscan church on the top of a mountain) and then gave everybody KFC.
+Arturo Casab I hear a lot about my parent's generation and how weddings were something very simple. It's something we should admire in my opinion. Invest in the marriage not the wedding.
+Arturo Casab my parents got married on the 25th of december on short notice. church had a discount on that day. They married in jeans :D The church people actually put them in a corner because they thought they were guests that didnt even bother dressing up haha
Of course they are. Emily and Murph are the real-life couple who do ALL the couple stuff for CH, and Emily does a lot of stuff for A.R.E., so it's no surprise.
To be fair, if you get married, there are ways around a lot of these. For example, if either of my parents wanted me to invite all their friends, I'd have none of that. Some of my parents friends I've known for ages so I'd probably invite but others I'd be like "Sorry nao." And I'm not gonna lie, I'm kind of a cheapskate so I would make sure that wedding did not cost me thousands. I am kind of someone who wants to get married to have an awesome party, not gonna lie. Who doesn't want to throw an awesome party? Least I'm honest.
My fiance and I have instated a 1 year policy on our guest list. If we haven't seen them or heard directly from them in the past year they don't make the list at all. Thankfully we haven't gotten any shit for it yet.
lilauthor That's a good policy. Parents expecting you to invite their friends is ridiculous. I don't know why anyone would expect that of their children.
AlmostSmart I'd tell my parents that they can pay for those people's food and favors if it's so important to them... includes family I don't care to have there
+TalkingToMyself If my parents wanted to invite people I wouldn't mind too much. The # of people I'd invite to my wedding (and SHOW UP), beyond relatives, I could probably count on one hand. And the list gets shorter every year. Not really an issue anyway, as I don't quite believe in the institution of marriage (it is not necessary), and I really doubt I'll meet anyone that I'll have the kind of connection with. It's never worked out or the initial spark never flamed or the spark one-sided.
My advice, make sure people know not to propose or announce any big news at your wedding. If they can’t be adults and attend something knowing it’s not about them, they should stay home. Also, don’t let people pull favours at your wedding. Don’t let your family dictate who’s invited, don’t let them decide who you hire because they owe someone, and if they give you advice you didn’t ask for that only helps them, ignore everything they say. Finally, avoid telling people it’s for a wedding. People genuinely do jack up their prices for the same service at weddings.
Basically this is how my friend explained it to me: The Wedding and Reception is for your friends and family The Honeymoon is for the couple. So even if you can't afford something big or don't want it, still do something and invite people to it so they can cry and fawn over you, and then they can feel fufilled or whatever.
Been with my girlfriend for over 5 years. No wedding planned, much to the dismay of everybody. We just have our own vehicles, jobs, bank accounts and friends. It's wonderful! No kids planned, just animals! Wooooo
+Jimmy870 Yeah, about the only advantage to marriage is the tax breaks, but you could literally just grab a friend of yours and go to the local courthouse to get that done. Depending on where you live, obviously.
This is why im going to get married in court and have a small party for close family and friends emphasis on friends and close that means no extended family I have little to no relationship with. Sorry cousin generic I haven't seen since '03 but if you wanted to come you should have been part of my life more.
This is just too funny!!! I'm in the first stages of planning my wedding and it already seems to be overwhelming so thanks for shedding light and also making light of this event
My mom said we have to invite all the couples she met on a cruise last year NAH BRO THIS IS FOR FAMILY AND FRIENDS SCREW THAT NOT MOMS FRIENDS ITS YOUR WEDDING BRO YOU DO WHAT YOU WANT
I have 3 weddings to attend this year. I gotta say, the amount of money spent on bridal showers, bachelor and bachelorette parties, the catering, the DJ or band, the venue, the cake, the suit, the dress, and the booze is astronomical. I really don't know how they do it. I'd have to downgrade to a 1 bedroom apartment from my 3 bedroom house just to pay for it. People will pay for what's important to them but I guess I just don't get it. I'd rather elope, and spend that money traveling Europe for 3 weeks than stress for a year about minor details. Also, the money that guests have to pay for gifts for the bridal shower and the wedding seems unfair. Why should I feel obligated to give you a crock pot or fondue pot because you decided to get married? Sorry if I sound snarky. I literally just got home from a Bridal Shower and it really is a personal hell for me to go to these things. "Oh, hey! Let's watch the bride-to-be open gifts for 2 and a half hours! That sounds like fun!" said no one ever. I'm sorry, but I don't want to watch you open fifty presents full of silverware.
I can only hope to find someone who doesn't care about having a big ceremony. I just want to go to the church that I've go been going to since I was 12, I have a small reception, do the catering myself, I am a culinarian, and only invite people that I see or call at least three times during the year. They can bring a gift if they want to. I hope to spend a fortnight in London for the honeymoon.
***** It's not like I verbally say those things to them. I went to my best friend's wedding a month ago and cried several times out of joy for them. It was a blast and they looked gorgeous. I'm talking more of the bridal shower situations. They literally suck the soul out of me.
This describes exactly how my fiance and I have been feeling. We've been engaged for 2 years but have been putting things off because we couldn't afford a venue. We decided to go ahead with our original date and have our wedding in 3 weeks. It's a potluck wedding. Show up with a food dish, a chair, or some toilet paper in order to gain entrance. We are too broke to deal with the marketing B.S. associated with getting married. We only want to be with each other and for our friends to enjoy with us. Opinions and judgments are welcome to wait outside. :)
in my country people who got the invitation need to put some money in the letter and give back at the event(not specify how much to put but if you put in too little they'll silently judge you) so it's not exactly a free party for us but as long as the food taste good and there's enough seats for everyone with nice music then no one will complain
Emma Nts Honestly, it sounds a lot like how weddings are done in my country (Indonesia) except the money is usually put in an envelope and the envelope is what you bring and put yourself in the readily available box put in the front of the room/venue. We don't judge those who gave just a little or those who didn't even put anything in the box because obligatory does not mean mandatory, and most of the envelopes don't even have a name on it so we can't actually tell who gave how many. Those who do write their names on it and even put their namecards in the envelopes needs to be thanked, but usually only a handful has those.
mahesh katta Ok, wtf? Should I have gone on for eternity explaining what I wanted to say with that explicitly? Obviously I didn't write that thinking people didn't know it.
You know, I've never been to a wedding reception where I really found anything to complain about (like he said: free party; besides which it's an important day in the life of one or more of my friends, and not my place to ruin it). Also, regarding what she said about how her parents said that they have to invite every couple her parents met at the cruise, as much as I love my parents my response to something like that would be, "Guys, it's our wedding. We'll invite the people who are important to us. That should be good enough for you, and if it's not then I'm sorry but you'll just have to live with it."
Advice for your mental sanity: pay for everything yourselves. Don't let family or friends pay, because that will let them feel entitled to have a say on guests, details etc because they can hold their money over your head. Say from the beginning you're paying, you're deciding. If they try to force you to do something you don't want, to pick guests you don't like etc, they won't have a leg to stand on. If you can't afford to get married without help, you might want to elope or wait till you can afford it. Money saving tips without losing on style: 1. Save paper, money and the environment by using a free wedding website. You can use it for save the dates, rsvps, menu and allergy info, guestbook and gift list 2. Have people donate to your honeymoon rather than buy you stuff 3. Buy a second hand wedding dress, you'll be saving soo much, and have it fitted by a seamstress. If you want first hand, don't go for big names, look for lesser known brands. Don't buy on wish or such stuff, the risk of something hideous is massive. You can also rent wedding dresses! 4. Pick a garden location with lots of greenery and you won't have to spend nearly as much on flowers and décor. 5. Ask the photographer for the pictures to be on a key, no album. Or have your friends take the pictures (though you won't get as many good photos). 6. Invite few guests. Pick only the closest of friends and immediate family (no "friends" you don't speak to regularly, for example). 7. Don't get the chocolate fountain. Especially if outdoors: the fountain chocolate soon gets filled with dead bugs anyway. 8. Instead of normal favours, go for charity ones instead. They are cheaper and they actually are doing some good in the world rather than uselessly gathering dust somewhere.
Im gonna get down voted get laughed at, called so many bad words for saying this: It is so sad so many people either view marriage, women or men to blame and how in conclusion, marriage sucks etc. I am happily married and no, it's not easy. You balance many things in life, and often times cannot do things you love at times, and maybe for good. You put your family first and put much of your time trying to keep them safe and healthy. That being said, I think many people focus on these aspects and say "omg no life can't play video games, clubbing etc. marriage sucks" or "my wife takes my life out of me." Which in honesty, can be true if you plan to never really give your time and dedication to your family. Marriage cannot be done alone. You need synergy. you both need to work towards trying to lift one another without really "calculating" the loss beforehand. This requires trust. Things often go sour especially with your wife because naturally, she didn't grow up with you. you two are different, and have lived separate lives until you met. It's really about not "tolerating" but accepting the person for who they are. If they suck at doing dishes, fixing the bulb, jogging, doing cartwheels etc. whatever, to accept that they lack that talent perhaps you can fill it in. You all know the corny lean back and fall and don't look back and trust they will catch you crap. To be honest this is the attitude BOTH of you need to have. Sadly in this day and age, alot of people don't do this and often times think about getting hurt from another. Calculate "if I put this much in, will I lose this much? What if he or she hurts me? they don't do this and that ...etc" You need communication, willingness to support another and sometimes even be able to really complain and tell that person why you are mad or even stupid things like "omg i wanna at least one night play video games and drink till i fall!"
Amen to that. You know you hear those dumb statistics, like "OMG 50% OF MARRIAGES END IN DIVORCE!!!!"? Let's try comparing the people in working marriages with people in ones that fail, and see how vastly different they are in terms of commitment level, trust (and trustworthiness), and general mental and emotional health.
I know I'm late, but: Thank you for writing this. I totally agree. Marriage is not BETTER than being single, but being single is not BETTER than being married. It all depends on how trusting, committed, interdependent, and loving you and your partner are.
how about say fuck it, get your immediate family, your best friends and then get enough food to feed them and do the fucking wedding. I've never seen myself getting married but if I ever do, it sure as shit aint gonna give me no migraine.
The Unholypenguin I must be a new species of women. Matt's idea is exactly what I'd like to do with my wedding. I am very mellow, a simple wedding is a happy wedding in my opinion. Immediate family and best friends and the food to feed them all sounds like a good plan. Why waste money on photographers, fancy table clothes, a million flowers, and tons of caterers? Even the save the date cards are a waste. My grandmother takes a billion pictures as it is and loves to cook, if anything my family would just work together and ta-da! Wedding :I
Wow, looking at the comments, I would almost think I was the only one that wanted an actual wedding lol. I know that's not true, but it's amazing how many people want to elope or just go to the courthouse today, or feel like that's what needs to be done so they don't look pretentious or are supposedly burdening their loved ones. I know wedding planning can be a huge hassle, but I feel like it's worth it, especially since I plan to get married only once. It's a huge life event and it should be celebrated anyway you want--if you want to elope or have a very small wedding, don't let your family or friends talk you out of it. If you want a huge-ass wedding that rivals the late Princess Diana's, don't let them talk you out of that, either. My ideal wedding falls somewhere in the middle. I don't have a lot of family and friends that support me, but I'd like to celebrate them as much as I'd like to celebrate my hopefully lifelong marriage. :)
1 Meh. People will find something to criticize no matter what you do, so don't let it get to you. My husband & I had a very simple, low-cost, low-stress wedding because that was *our* dream wedding. It's *your* lives, *your* dreams, and really no one else's damn business how you spend *your* money. I hope your wedding is everything that you dream of, and that your marriage is even better.
@1 You were making total sense till that last sentence. Putting people down because they can't afford a lavish wedding is quite insensitive. You do you, but try seeing things from the pov of others.
I never understood the point of "Save the Dates". Like, if you're telling me when your wedding will be and asking me to make sure I'm available, you want me to come to said wedding, right? Why waste twice the amount of paper instead of just inviting me in the first place?
My sister got married at a court house in jeans and all I had to wear was a pullover shirt. We later had the after-party at Carrabba's, best wedding ever.
Maybe its just my family, but usually for weddings all the older relatives make all the food, and we pick out a super cheap place to have the reception
deep breaths everybody. save the dates go out as soon as you know when it will be- long before you have all the details that will need to go on the invitation. and they only go out to your A list people. it's to help you get an idea for the catering and venue estimates, and to make sure the people you care about don't make conflicting plans.
Biggest tip I ever got from my aunt and uncle: when booking stuff, you never say the word wedding. They will always tack on a bunch of extra costs for additional things, only a handful of which actually mean anything. Especially cake wise. You do not need to book a tasting. Say its for a party and you'll save a fortune
For an asian family, the weddings not for us, it's for our parents. They decide, they spend and they make the guest list. All we do is sit and namaste people whom we have never met before, but is our parents childhood friend.
Why would they let their parents tell them who they have to invite? "You have to invite all our friends from our cruise." How about no this is my wedding and unless you're paying for it you don't have that sort of say?
As someone who got married 2 months ago, I can say with absolute certainty that everything in this video is 100% true. We went from a, "We really don't care" wedding, to an "OMG WE NEED TABLE RUNNERS, WHERE ARE THE TABLE RUNNERS???" wedding. Needless to say, we plan on having a nice Vegas getaway for our 10 year vow renewals.
My mom only spent $2,000 on her second wedding. The venue (they got married at a boat house by the beach), bridesmaids dresses, her dress, the food (including cake), wedding favors, flowers, and the booze. I'd say she did pretty damn amazing. It doesn't have to be expensive, but it most likely won't be your dream wedding; my mom is a minimalist with amazing penny pinching skills. Everyone had a super fun time though. :) One trick, never ever mention it's for a wedding unless it's 100% necessary. Prices go way way way up when it's for a wedding. People are assholes.
LOL, I feel sorry for people who do this. Do you know how much getting married cost me and my husband? $90. Marriage license + civil ceremony fee. At this point in time most people already live together and have sex, so WTF is the purpose of spending all that money? Use it for a vacation or a down payment!
I never understood the point of a wedding. Seriously, why in the world would I want to wear an uncomfortable dress and stand around for hours when I can just pay the court to marry us and blow all of that cash on a sweet vacation?
:D I found a $65 white dress in the back of Chez Fanci Formal Dresses Shoppe, thus bypassing the hell of Tres Snobby Wedding Boutique. The "something old" was a four year old pair of white shoes. And yes, you will thoroughly enjoy that sweet vacation, for the simple reason you won't be too worn out, stressed out and exhausted to talk about whatever comes up. ;)
You are marrying before the sight of god, so you see, it's a religious tradition.... and it goes waaaay back. and it's also that big party, you invite your friends, family, it kinda makes it special.... though I totally see your point, I do, I really do
my parents wedding black and red clothes. actual italian buffet simple small deserts. like cupcakes and eclaires. known rock band who did festivals and shit then in our country. ROCK BAND!!! and not inviting all cousins. because my dads side is huge. (his parents had way too many siblings)
oh my gosh! congratulations on your coming nuptials and your new chapter together.. yes wedding planning can be stressful and dramatic and a test to the relationship. have a lovely fun celebration!
Planning a wedding is that bad I’m currently doing it and I love it Yes it gets stressful but the trick is to remember that this is your day, you’re paying for it and you decide what you want Don’t do things because other people ask about it or you think you should It’s all your decision.
The guest list is key. Don't let your parents write the guest list for you.
RainAngel111 Me and my fianće are trying so hard at this and my MIL won't get the hint. On the flip side though I'm having a hard time getting my parents to even go. So pick and choose my battles, I guess :/
Considering my parents neglected me for 12 years of my life I don't want them to.
Well, I don't really have any friends, so...
Yes
Especially if they aren't paying.
From now on, anytime I want to end a conversation I'm going to cry "That's gonna clash with the table runners" and throw myself against a wall
Is no one going to acknowledge the fact that at the beginning that is Murph and Emily's REAL engagement video?
No, because I don't know them well enough to have ever seen their REAL engagement video.
Is that true? Oh whatever I'm going to choose to believe a stranger on the internet because that is great
Hi me again, so I still don't know for sure if that's the real video, but that is definitely Emily's real ring so it's probably true
No because
I
DONT
CARE
Sauce?
How we planned our wedding,
1. went to a park and said we need it for a party. It was 75 dollors to use the large pavilion for a day
2. We did the paper work at the courthouse that morning.
3. We said screw formal
4. Got parents to help by burgers/hotdogs/fruit/potatoes etc for a grill out.
5. We said our own vows (no pastor) the park also had swimming, playground, people brought canoes and kayaks for the lake and everyone had fun.
6. Everyone took there own pictures and we just got cupcakes from a local bakery.
We didn't stress, we only spent about $150 for the whole thing and everyone still enjoyed themselves. Plus we had a lot of extra for our honeymoon
You would have had me at, "screw formal". I hate dressing up in stuffy, uncomfortable suits.
Take notes. This guy knows how it's done.
Almost the same as ours - hired a local lawyer that does weddings (he was cheap). Went on top of a small mountain with our families and my best buddies. Ate sandwiches later that day. Had a party a month later where everyone chipped in for some sort of food while we supplied tax free booze. It was awesome and this year is our 10th anniversary.
I would LOVE to wed like that but I don't think I'd ever find someone who'll understand instead of calling me cheap.
Adonan the Stoic you fucking genius
It's your wedding, stop inviting people that you don't care about being there just to please others!
+Queen of Carrot Flowers You must not have any family you want to continue to have a relationship with. :)
In other words its not your wedding.
+Queen of Carrot Flowers don't get married at all.
+Cliff Hartle People....really cut you out of their lives over not inviting someone to a wedding?
+Cliff Hartle And it's harder when either set of parents are paying for any of this. If the couple pays for the whole thing themselves, though, they can be a little more forceful about NOT inviting every person the MIL/FIL has met over the last five years.
weddings need contracts between the people that are involved in these days as much as between the business/service and the couple. "dear parent, we get first pick of guests, if you wish to pay for the extra guests you can go ahead and do so. and if you don't want to pay for the extra guests or the wedding you can throw your own party. All my love -eloping in that trashy dress/oversized tux you hate and sending those as the wedding photos of my Vegas wedding to your friends and relatives that you are trying to impress" emotional blackmail is always the way to go. Many parents pull that shit all the time. it's the bread and butter of many family's.
And then your friend explains how wedding dresses are white because of queen victoria being rich
Adam... Hahaha
hahaha life and adam..
XDeedge Hi, I'm that friend. Wanna here about why white cake was expensive?
Well in the time before Queen Victoria marriage was mostly an exchange of money so wedding dresses were often gold or silver and very elaborate to show wealth. But Queen Victoria truly loved Albert and didn't want people to think the marriage was just about money, so she wore a simple white dress to show her love for him.
yes but white dresses were worn before her time i believe or maybe after, but they were worn by the rich as if they got dirty (brown stains) they could be cleaned. the poor could not afford that so they wore brown clothes
I eloped. Worth every penny I didn't spend.
Wait actually????
Mr. W me too! We used the money as a deposit on a house. Way more useful than throwing money away on a stressful day of people staring at you in an ugly dress.
just get married in court
Yep.
I'm thinking Vegas...
I'm so glad that ours was super low-key, pretty cheap when compared with other weddings and its always going to be be memorable because someones hair caught fire, the septic tank backed up and my friend went into anaphylactic shock induced labor.
my wife's wedding dress got ruined hours before the ceremony. The ONLY room in the entire hotel to have the fire extinguishers go off and have black soot cover the wedding dress.
This sounds like a wedding from The Sims :D
Anaphylactic shock caused by an allergic reaction to something. Why would going in to labour cause it to happen? Or do you mean she had an allergic reaction to something. Which caused her to go in to anaphylactic shock. Putting so much stress on her body and baby that it induced labour?
@@21pilotstillidie58 I read it as the second. A labour induced by anaphylaxis.
Holy shit
Events by Bill:
"I gotta shed out back, with some Christmas lights in it, $1,000,000,000
shed
Shed
Shed
Absolutely barbaric
Arceus Lord of Creation
My idea is to do the marriage itself at a court and then throw a small after party for close friends and family emphasis on friends no extended family you never see. Sorry cousin Generic but if you wanted to be a part of this day you should have been part of my life more.
Cousin Jen Eric
My friend got married-married a month ago but they're throwing the reception in two weeks. Since it's just a party they don't have to deal with the whole "wedding tax" markup, and they can invite their friends!
Dang. You just going to do me like that? I still care about you, you know.
I feel so bad. I wanted to go to my cousins wedding but understand cost. So it wasn’t a big deal... then it turned into a funk. My mom didn’t get a plus one despite being married for over 30 years. Then she got it. My mom took my sister as her “plus one”... my great aunt said she would bring me as her “plus one” except she didn’t get a plus one (she’s been divorced for over 30 years).🤦🏾♀️ All this drama over a wedding. I felt so bad. We gave a large gift though. I still feel bad for the drama though.
I wish I was closer with my cousins. We fell off as teens.🤷🏾♀️
my cousin had her wedding as a surprise wedding in her back yard. invited everyone as a family reunion/friend party. They made it out like they were hosting a get together for our Nana (90 at the time) and sprung it on us.
Best, cheapest wedding ever!!
no annoying long sermon either... just them reading about their life and how happy they were to have us there. :3
Yeah, I don't understand people ho complain about being invited to weddings. It's only one evening, and they are paying for everything.
Sigrun Eis I hear some people do make a lot if demands like that. Couples should be considerate of their guests and not make them pay so much money. It's supposed to be a celebration, not a charity ball.
That aside, the people who hate weddings that I'm talking about (for example, this group on a misanthrope forum) cited reasons such as, "I have to dress up," and "They want us to act happy for them." I totally understand if the couple makes unreasonable requirements about the dress code that forces people to buy a new, expensive outfit, but if someone just has to dig out a nice suit or something, I don't think that's reason enough to hate the whole wedding.
Rebecca ........."they want us to be happy for them." ???????? I don't even... oh goodness.
because they arent enjoyable to go to, you feel like you have to give them a lot of money, and there are all these rules. Like you couldnt have just let me buy you a round at our bar? That would have been nice.
I will fucking elope with a ring forged in the fires of mount doom. No diamonds for me!
That's the spirit!
ALL SHALL LOVE ME AND DESPAIR!!
@Em Berk HI SPN TRASH LOVE YA
Madeleine Walters
what is an... "elope"
When people complain after a funeral during the free lunch: now that's disgusting.
Both of my siblings eloped. My sister had a small reception later on. And my brother is doing the "ceremony" in the Final Fantasy MMO. (He's a nerd)
What state allowed that?
see, i was about to complain about the mmo thing but i realized i shouldn't give a shit cause im 18, a man and there eloping anyways...but then again is that legal?
For the record, the ceremony itself has no legal standing at all. All the legal stuff, including Government recognition, of the marriage comes with the marriage license.
Interesting fact:
This video is actually a prequel to "Adam ruins weddings", the priest and the location are the same Emily and Murph ordered here!
I share this with every person I know who gets engaged or who asks me how my wedding planning is going. I'm in the last month of my logistical hell, and this is just so true and makes me laugh every time.
are Emily and Murph actually a "thing"? They always are like the couples in the skits
Yeah they're married in real life
+Felix H. That is so cute.
Cute couple, although I don't know what Murph does at College Humor. Emily's obviously the one with talent. He's just... around.
talent means boobs - right?
testiou No.
How to have the best wedding:
1. Don't.
Now you tell me, after 27 years of hard, stressful, wife-bitching, marriage?!
Jackson DeStefano just elope
Jackson DeStefano PREACH!
Elope it is
Jackson DeStefano 666th like.
Oh my gosh. This is so true. *sighs* I remember when we got married almost 4 years ago and how I was trying to satify everyone's opinion. I even changed the date of my wedding a couple of times. The last time I changed it was because my friend decided to have her baby shower on the same day as my wedding. *sighs* and didnt show up because she had to be at a meeting. You will be tempted to just say "Eff it!! Lets just elope, forget everyone and just be!" The party and all that is for people who don't even really care about you. Just focus on the honeymoon and your marriage!!! Period!!! My advice.
Step 12:
Congratulations! You are married! Nothing says true love like it being slightly more legally difficult to split up now, but no other changes! Except I guess that if your relationship can survive planning a wedding it can probably survive the aftermath.
My brothers best friend is getting married. He gets home and just says: “I spent the whole afternoon putting candle wax on letters.”
Now that is a true friend indeed!
Its easy-when I got married we got married in a small chapel downtown, they did all the paperwork. my cousin did our flowers I had three friends whom were photographers, and my friend whom is an amazing baker did our cake. we knew people in each area and boom our wedding planning was zip to zero. and no stress. then after we got married we went to a diner everyone got what they wanted to eat. :)
+olygirly22 You were lucky you had people who were willing to do that for low-cost/free. Not everyone is so lucky.
wow thanks! I'm sure everyone has those connections.
If I asked my extended family to help with my wedding like that for little to no money, I'd probably be told to go to hell ._. Either that or someone overly confident in their photography skills would bust out their Polaroid that's as old as me, knowing my luck. Actually, my dad is a photographer, but after one bad experience shooting a wedding he's sworn off shooting anymore of them, and I know he'd rather walk me down the aisle.
There's no need to be so sarcastic. She's just saying she had a pleasant and easy wedding. Sheesh
Sounds a lot like my wedding. Our budget was a frayed & knotted shoestring, but my pastor and our friends all chipped in to make it a beautiful ceremony. One friend helped me make the bouquets. Others did the photography & the music, did my hair & makeup, and provided refreshments (including a beautifully-decorated sheet cake). I wore a lovely tie-dyed dress that was special enough for the wedding, but is still suitable for special occasion wear (if you're an aging hippie. Which I am...). We had free use of the church and had a relaxed reception in the parish hall. (it's the oldest church in the state, so many people pay good money to rent it for weddings. When I asked my pastor what it would cost, he smiled & said, "God will provide!") Altogether, my husband & I spent less than $100, and everyone had a wonderful time. It was a celebration of love & community--not of glitz & status. We consider ourselves greatly blessed to have so many loving friends...
Elope and later have a pot-luck reception somewhere cheap and open air and ask that all gifts be in cash so you can better pay for things in the home.
Problem solved.
+TheStoneSpiral except every part of that is tacky and everyone will think you're cheaping out on what they see as a free party.
it truly has no way out
Thalia Rossitter Tacky to you is being sensible to me. White dresses, churches and dressed up affairs that put a huge financial burden 'traditionally' on the brides family are what I find tacky. It's not about what the party guests want, it's about the couple getting married.
The wedding industry has gotten out of control, demanding ever increasing amounts of money from people who should be putting that money towards building their lives. It's just not worth it in the long run.
***** I'm just going to point out I'm female, and my original post was about eloping, requesting cash gifts and having a potluck reception. :/ Not everyone with tits is against you as a person.
But hey, if you're going to refer to half the population as 'creatures', maybe your life alone has more to do with your personality than it has to do with women in general.
***** Females are required to be more social by this culture and pretty much every culture. It's not 'compliance', it's social norms and a gamble for success within certain boundries. Being thrown out of social circles can mean less resources for yourself or a child, less interaction for social needs and less opportunities in general. Consider it a balancing act that some lose out in. And yes, males do the same thing.
The 'guy talk' instances where a guy feels pressured to say mean spirited thing or to do 'manly' things that risk their health or life are the same exact social mechanism that you consider 'compliance' among females.
As much as you think you're into making waves, I guarantee you still have things you do because it looks right, not because you think it's right. Besides, if women hate men who shrug off social norms, why is there such a stigma about girls wanting 'bad boys' or artists and the like? Or by social norms do you mean general cleanliness and politeness in non-threatening social situations? Because there's a difference between being an unusual person and just being a dick.
I should know, I'm a very unusual female, but not to the point that people shun me. Just to the point that they recognize that I'm not typical. Sometimes to their own embarrassment.
If you don't see 'creatures' as derogatory, yous till have some thinking and self discovery to do. Just saying.
***** You're going to rationalize everything however you want. But the reality is humans are social creatures, using social attitudes to get what you want is what people do. You do it, don't blame females for doing it. Besides that not all females flirt to get what they want, some just pay for it, in fact most people do that, even males. If you're being betrayed it's because you have a terrible ability to read people. Part of the problem is your own approach, even if you won't admit it.
The first definition for creature is an animal or nonhuman. It takes a while down to consider it a word for a person, and even then that usage is more endearing than the one you've chosen. That's just language, you say it refers to anything alive, I take it to mean you think females are non-humans. I'm starting to consider that you think only you are human, everyone else is not.
You'll probably keep using it to 'make waves' or whatever. But I can tell right away that once again it's your own attitude that's caused you to be isolated.
When my parents got married they invited all their friends (enough to fill the church's auditorium) and family to the church they met in (a franciscan church on the top of a mountain) and then gave everybody KFC.
And mine.
+Arturo Casab I hear a lot about my parent's generation and how weddings were something very simple. It's something we should admire in my opinion. Invest in the marriage not the wedding.
jaziel tan Exactly, mine have been together for nearly 20 years now, and boy I don't believe they're ever going to split up.
+Arturo Casab my parents got married on the 25th of december on short notice. church had a discount on that day. They married in jeans :D
The church people actually put them in a corner because they thought they were guests that didnt even bother dressing up haha
TheMissPelled He, that's really cool.
We need an "adam ruins everything" on this subject
There is one, isn't there?
There is
literally same couple in Adam's skit about weddings
If only someone could've told him it will be done 2 years ago
Of course they are. Emily and Murph are the real-life couple who do ALL the couple stuff for CH, and Emily does a lot of stuff for A.R.E., so it's no surprise.
"Hey, I was just wondering if you were coming because you haven't RSVP-d yet and IT'S EIGHTY DOLLARS PER PLATE, DARREN."
XD
To be fair, if you get married, there are ways around a lot of these. For example, if either of my parents wanted me to invite all their friends, I'd have none of that. Some of my parents friends I've known for ages so I'd probably invite but others I'd be like "Sorry nao." And I'm not gonna lie, I'm kind of a cheapskate so I would make sure that wedding did not cost me thousands. I am kind of someone who wants to get married to have an awesome party, not gonna lie. Who doesn't want to throw an awesome party? Least I'm honest.
My fiance and I have instated a 1 year policy on our guest list. If we haven't seen them or heard directly from them in the past year they don't make the list at all. Thankfully we haven't gotten any shit for it yet.
lilauthor That's a good policy. Parents expecting you to invite their friends is ridiculous. I don't know why anyone would expect that of their children.
AlmostSmart I'd tell my parents that they can pay for those people's food and favors if it's so important to them... includes family I don't care to have there
+TalkingToMyself If my parents wanted to invite people I wouldn't mind too much. The # of people I'd invite to my wedding (and SHOW UP), beyond relatives, I could probably count on one hand. And the list gets shorter every year.
Not really an issue anyway, as I don't quite believe in the institution of marriage (it is not necessary), and I really doubt I'll meet anyone that I'll have the kind of connection with. It's never worked out or the initial spark never flamed or the spark one-sided.
My advice, make sure people know not to propose or announce any big news at your wedding. If they can’t be adults and attend something knowing it’s not about them, they should stay home.
Also, don’t let people pull favours at your wedding. Don’t let your family dictate who’s invited, don’t let them decide who you hire because they owe someone, and if they give you advice you didn’t ask for that only helps them, ignore everything they say.
Finally, avoid telling people it’s for a wedding. People genuinely do jack up their prices for the same service at weddings.
Are these two actually together in real life? They always seem to play the role of a couple.
IoneMacaroninCheese They are! They just got married too, I think.
+Dexcesss well, they got married a while ago
+Dexcesss dammit! I shipped her and the guy from pov
+ButterfleeEllie seriously?!
Nadya Natasha they got engaged April 2013 and got married September 2014
MORAL OF THE STORY MARRY SOMEONE YOU LOVE
Unless your indian. Then your parents pick a wealthy family and get you hooked up with their daughter. No questions asked.
Exactly Eragonxx4!!
over 50% of marriage ends in divorce. moral to the story, don't get fuckin married
MIDN Jacob Mercure That is false.
have fun losing half your shit to your spouse.
Apparently, they really got married a month after this.
Source?
Preacher of Nothing they’re a married couple. It’s a fact. They make videos about it.
Not that surprising. Humour is a coping mechanism, even in wedding planning.
Basically this is how my friend explained it to me:
The Wedding and Reception is for your friends and family
The Honeymoon is for the couple.
So even if you can't afford something big or don't want it, still do something and invite people to it so they can cry and fawn over you, and then they can feel fufilled or whatever.
Hahaha, exactly.
I would rather donate a million to the needy then use a million so my family can complain.
Not me watching an almost ten-year-old sketch after my own engagement.
Our wedding cost about $120 - really simple, really relaxed, party in the garden, friends made the food
- wonderful
They all brought Tostito chips and leftover peas.
Sounds way better.. I'd much rather attend that lol.
I want this
Or you can hire a wedding planner that will make everything easier but fuck your budget even more.
chesiregirl true true hahaha
chesiregirl Your profile picture! *O*
Been with my girlfriend for over 5 years. No wedding planned, much to the dismay of everybody. We just have our own vehicles, jobs, bank accounts and friends. It's wonderful! No kids planned, just animals! Wooooo
+Jimmy870 So you're basically two single people then? lol
+Jimmy870 You're doing it right.
+Jimmy870 That's awesome! My boyfriend and I are in the same boat. We feel like we don't need a legal document to define our relationship.
+Jimmy870 Yeah, about the only advantage to marriage is the tax breaks, but you could literally just grab a friend of yours and go to the local courthouse to get that done.
Depending on where you live, obviously.
+Jimmy870 Doing it right. :D
This is why im going to get married in court and have a small party for close family and friends emphasis on friends and close that means no extended family I have little to no relationship with. Sorry cousin generic I haven't seen since '03 but if you wanted to come you should have been part of my life more.
And then Adam arrived
The Ripper Check the date.
This is just too funny!!! I'm in the first stages of planning my wedding and it already seems to be overwhelming so thanks for shedding light and also making light of this event
"EVERYONE SHOULD JUST ELOPE!"
As a wedding Dj this video was hilarious! I literally start off every dance with I got a feeling xD
I can vouch for this video, I got married and had to deal with EVERY step
My mom said we have to invite all the couples she met on a cruise last year
NAH BRO THIS IS FOR FAMILY AND FRIENDS SCREW THAT NOT MOMS FRIENDS ITS YOUR WEDDING BRO YOU DO WHAT YOU WANT
I have 3 weddings to attend this year. I gotta say, the amount of money spent on bridal showers, bachelor and bachelorette parties, the catering, the DJ or band, the venue, the cake, the suit, the dress, and the booze is astronomical. I really don't know how they do it. I'd have to downgrade to a 1 bedroom apartment from my 3 bedroom house just to pay for it. People will pay for what's important to them but I guess I just don't get it. I'd rather elope, and spend that money traveling Europe for 3 weeks than stress for a year about minor details. Also, the money that guests have to pay for gifts for the bridal shower and the wedding seems unfair. Why should I feel obligated to give you a crock pot or fondue pot because you decided to get married? Sorry if I sound snarky. I literally just got home from a Bridal Shower and it really is a personal hell for me to go to these things.
"Oh, hey! Let's watch the bride-to-be open gifts for 2 and a half hours! That sounds like fun!" said no one ever. I'm sorry, but I don't want to watch you open fifty presents full of silverware.
I can only hope to find someone who doesn't care about having a big ceremony. I just want to go to the church that I've go been going to since I was 12, I have a small reception, do the catering myself, I am a culinarian, and only invite people that I see or call at least three times during the year. They can bring a gift if they want to. I hope to spend a fortnight in London for the honeymoon.
*****
It's not like I verbally say those things to them. I went to my best friend's wedding a month ago and cried several times out of joy for them. It was a blast and they looked gorgeous. I'm talking more of the bridal shower situations. They literally suck the soul out of me.
its fun if you're a real friend
Dei H I
im sorry but its insane that you had to downgrade in order to save money just to go to people's weddings,
This describes exactly how my fiance and I have been feeling. We've been engaged for 2 years but have been putting things off because we couldn't afford a venue. We decided to go ahead with our original date and have our wedding in 3 weeks. It's a potluck wedding. Show up with a food dish, a chair, or some toilet paper in order to gain entrance.
We are too broke to deal with the marketing B.S. associated with getting married. We only want to be with each other and for our friends to enjoy with us. Opinions and judgments are welcome to wait outside. :)
I'm still on Step 0: Find a woman.
Same
You married yet?
What step are you in now?
Gay marriage is now legalized in most nations. This doubles your chances for a wedding!
Hey Murph where's my invite?
I already bought your apple re-core'er. It was like $80, annnnnnnnnnnnnd I lost the receipt sooooooo.......
Scrooge McFuck I also like your name.
Crispy McShitbag+Scrooge McFuck You two would be the worlds greatest detectives, just saying.
I WORK ALONE *cycles furiously into the rain on a tricycle*
And thus started the battle between Scrooge McFuck and Crispy Mcshitbag that would rip the very fabric of the universe...
Tip: don’t let the services you hire know it’s for a wedding, they charge up just because! Say it’s just for an event
I'm getting married this year and I managed to disappoint my parents so much with my wedding choices that none of them are coming! :D
in my country people who got the invitation need to put some money in the letter and give back at the event(not specify how much to put but if you put in too little they'll silently judge you) so it's not exactly a free party for us but as long as the food taste good and there's enough seats for everyone with nice music then no one will complain
+Emma Nts where is that? your country I mean.
+205dandona laos
Emma Nts Honestly, it sounds a lot like how weddings are done in my country (Indonesia) except the money is usually put in an envelope and the envelope is what you bring and put yourself in the readily available box put in the front of the room/venue. We don't judge those who gave just a little or those who didn't even put anything in the box because obligatory does not mean mandatory, and most of the envelopes don't even have a name on it so we can't actually tell who gave how many. Those who do write their names on it and even put their namecards in the envelopes needs to be thanked, but usually only a handful has those.
Well, if I wasn't already against getting married, I sure am now. Thanks, CollegeHumor!
getting married and throwing a wedding are different things. :)
never knew the subtle difference. Thanks.
mahesh katta Ok, wtf? Should I have gone on for eternity explaining what I wanted to say with that explicitly? Obviously I didn't write that thinking people didn't know it.
essennagerry Its not sarcasm. I generally never observed that difference.
mahesh katta Oh my God, sorry. xD Because you said "subtle" I somehow thought it must be sarcasm, dude, I'm really sorry! xD
Just to say... Thank you for using Clair de Lune at the start of the video. I love that piece of music.
You know, I've never been to a wedding reception where I really found anything to complain about (like he said: free party; besides which it's an important day in the life of one or more of my friends, and not my place to ruin it).
Also, regarding what she said about how her parents said that they have to invite every couple her parents met at the cruise, as much as I love my parents my response to something like that would be, "Guys, it's our wedding. We'll invite the people who are important to us. That should be good enough for you, and if it's not then I'm sorry but you'll just have to live with it."
Advice for your mental sanity: pay for everything yourselves. Don't let family or friends pay, because that will let them feel entitled to have a say on guests, details etc because they can hold their money over your head. Say from the beginning you're paying, you're deciding. If they try to force you to do something you don't want, to pick guests you don't like etc, they won't have a leg to stand on. If you can't afford to get married without help, you might want to elope or wait till you can afford it. Money saving tips without losing on style: 1. Save paper, money and the environment by using a free wedding website. You can use it for save the dates, rsvps, menu and allergy info, guestbook and gift list 2. Have people donate to your honeymoon rather than buy you stuff 3. Buy a second hand wedding dress, you'll be saving soo much, and have it fitted by a seamstress. If you want first hand, don't go for big names, look for lesser known brands. Don't buy on wish or such stuff, the risk of something hideous is massive. You can also rent wedding dresses! 4. Pick a garden location with lots of greenery and you won't have to spend nearly as much on flowers and décor. 5. Ask the photographer for the pictures to be on a key, no album. Or have your friends take the pictures (though you won't get as many good photos). 6. Invite few guests. Pick only the closest of friends and immediate family (no "friends" you don't speak to regularly, for example). 7. Don't get the chocolate fountain. Especially if outdoors: the fountain chocolate soon gets filled with dead bugs anyway. 8. Instead of normal favours, go for charity ones instead. They are cheaper and they actually are doing some good in the world rather than uselessly gathering dust somewhere.
Im gonna get down voted get laughed at, called so many bad words for saying this:
It is so sad so many people either view marriage, women or men to blame and how in conclusion, marriage sucks etc. I am happily married and no, it's not easy. You balance many things in life, and often times cannot do things you love at times, and maybe for good. You put your family first and put much of your time trying to keep them safe and healthy. That being said, I think many people focus on these aspects and say "omg no life can't play video games, clubbing etc. marriage sucks" or "my wife takes my life out of me." Which in honesty, can be true if you plan to never really give your time and dedication to your family.
Marriage cannot be done alone. You need synergy. you both need to work towards trying to lift one another without really "calculating" the loss beforehand. This requires trust. Things often go sour especially with your wife because naturally, she didn't grow up with you. you two are different, and have lived separate lives until you met. It's really about not "tolerating" but accepting the person for who they are. If they suck at doing dishes, fixing the bulb, jogging, doing cartwheels etc. whatever, to accept that they lack that talent perhaps you can fill it in.
You all know the corny lean back and fall and don't look back and trust they will catch you crap. To be honest this is the attitude BOTH of you need to have.
Sadly in this day and age, alot of people don't do this and often times think about getting hurt from another. Calculate "if I put this much in, will I lose this much? What if he or she hurts me? they don't do this and that ...etc"
You need communication, willingness to support another and sometimes even be able to really complain and tell that person why you are mad or even stupid things like "omg i wanna at least one night play video games and drink till i fall!"
holy crap grammar and spelling fails lol. sorry guys
Amen to that. You know you hear those dumb statistics, like "OMG 50% OF MARRIAGES END IN DIVORCE!!!!"? Let's try comparing the people in working marriages with people in ones that fail, and see how vastly different they are in terms of commitment level, trust (and trustworthiness), and general mental and emotional health.
This deserves nothing but likes. You couldn't have explained it better.
I know I'm late, but: Thank you for writing this. I totally agree. Marriage is not BETTER than being single, but being single is not BETTER than being married. It all depends on how trusting, committed, interdependent, and loving you and your partner are.
I know you've waited for this for so long....here's your ice cream waffles that you can't eat but you can read.
how about say fuck it, get your immediate family, your best friends and then get enough food to feed them and do the fucking wedding. I've never seen myself getting married but if I ever do, it sure as shit aint gonna give me no migraine.
Thank you, so fucking much.
Try that on your future fiance. If she doesn't bare her teeth and growl at you, then she's thinking about it.
The Unholypenguin I must be a new species of women. Matt's idea is exactly what I'd like to do with my wedding. I am very mellow, a simple wedding is a happy wedding in my opinion. Immediate family and best friends and the food to feed them all sounds like a good plan. Why waste money on photographers, fancy table clothes, a million flowers, and tons of caterers? Even the save the date cards are a waste. My grandmother takes a billion pictures as it is and loves to cook, if anything my family would just work together and ta-da! Wedding :I
Alice Skye why do you want a wedding anyways?
jazz taylor Because I respect my family enough to have a wedding like they'd want me to if I were to get married instead of just eloping in LA xD
Where's George R. R. Martin?
I'm disappointed in the viewers and commentators for not contributing towards making this the top comment.
I want more George R.R skits and a new season of precious plum
lol. You know how much he LOVES weddings...
Wow, looking at the comments, I would almost think I was the only one that wanted an actual wedding lol. I know that's not true, but it's amazing how many people want to elope or just go to the courthouse today, or feel like that's what needs to be done so they don't look pretentious or are supposedly burdening their loved ones. I know wedding planning can be a huge hassle, but I feel like it's worth it, especially since I plan to get married only once. It's a huge life event and it should be celebrated anyway you want--if you want to elope or have a very small wedding, don't let your family or friends talk you out of it. If you want a huge-ass wedding that rivals the late Princess Diana's, don't let them talk you out of that, either. My ideal wedding falls somewhere in the middle. I don't have a lot of family and friends that support me, but I'd like to celebrate them as much as I'd like to celebrate my hopefully lifelong marriage. :)
1 Meh. People will find something to criticize no matter what you do, so don't let it get to you. My husband & I had a very simple, low-cost, low-stress wedding because that was *our* dream wedding. It's *your* lives, *your* dreams, and really no one else's damn business how you spend *your* money. I hope your wedding is everything that you dream of, and that your marriage is even better.
@1 You were making total sense till that last sentence. Putting people down because they can't afford a lavish wedding is quite insensitive. You do you, but try seeing things from the pov of others.
2:15 I screamed he’s the perfect officiate
I never understood the point of "Save the Dates". Like, if you're telling me when your wedding will be and asking me to make sure I'm available, you want me to come to said wedding, right? Why waste twice the amount of paper instead of just inviting me in the first place?
Bro just do a text a message and be like yo coming to the wedding
My sister got married at a court house in jeans and all I had to wear was a pullover shirt. We later had the after-party at Carrabba's, best wedding ever.
arent these 2 actually getting married?
Dude it's just a script
for some reason, i thought a saw a video with her saying that hes her fiance.
yeah i think they're engaged in real life
In the wrestling video they did a while back, she says that he's her fiance I rhink.
Yeah I'm pretty sure they actually are getting married.
This sums up everything about my planning right now. Thank you for your humor.
Maybe its just my family, but usually for weddings all the older relatives make all the food, and we pick out a super cheap place to have the reception
The opening song is Clair de lune by Debussy. I love it
From now on, when a family member asks me why I don't want a wedding, I'll just send them a link to this video.
My family doesn't do save the dates....they say come or don't
that's not what a save the date is...what you're referring to is an RSVP
deep breaths everybody. save the dates go out as soon as you know when it will be- long before you have all the details that will need to go on the invitation. and they only go out to your A list people. it's to help you get an idea for the catering and venue estimates, and to make sure the people you care about don't make conflicting plans.
You don't need save the dates inless your having wedding on a holiday or bussy weekend or have family coming in from another country
Got married last year. This is much funnier with the context. And depressingly accurate
I love Murph and Emily. 🥰🥰🥰
I tried to elope and my family followed me making thing expensive and awkward.
So you left to get married secretly but you told them and when they showed up you paid for them. Why?
Melody Clark Not exactly. I planned to go to LA for my wedding and I told family and next thing I knew I had 20 people showing up.
then why tell them in the first place?
yeah, wtf did you expected to happen XD
Murph and Emily!!
Is it just me, or does a Shetland pony sound like something in the wedding, the hill billy arranged, not the fancy British Wedding.
Depends what color the pony's fur is.
If it were British it would be a welsh mountain pony doing the heavy lifting.
And this is where their relationship advice book began!
Biggest tip I ever got from my aunt and uncle: when booking stuff, you never say the word wedding. They will always tack on a bunch of extra costs for additional things, only a handful of which actually mean anything. Especially cake wise. You do not need to book a tasting. Say its for a party and you'll save a fortune
For an asian family, the weddings not for us, it's for our parents. They decide, they spend and they make the guest list. All we do is sit and namaste people whom we have never met before, but is our parents childhood friend.
I’m not sure why I’m watching this... I’m having a fake wedding with my best friend😂😂
Why would they let their parents tell them who they have to invite? "You have to invite all our friends from our cruise." How about no this is my wedding and unless you're paying for it you don't have that sort of say?
As someone who got married 2 months ago, I can say with absolute certainty that everything in this video is 100% true. We went from a, "We really don't care" wedding, to an "OMG WE NEED TABLE RUNNERS, WHERE ARE THE TABLE RUNNERS???" wedding. Needless to say, we plan on having a nice Vegas getaway for our 10 year vow renewals.
1:03
Now that we've seen Adam discussing "the wedding tax" we know, this isn't even a joke.
My mom only spent $2,000 on her second wedding. The venue (they got married at a boat house by the beach), bridesmaids dresses, her dress, the food (including cake), wedding favors, flowers, and the booze. I'd say she did pretty damn amazing. It doesn't have to be expensive, but it most likely won't be your dream wedding; my mom is a minimalist with amazing penny pinching skills. Everyone had a super fun time though. :) One trick, never ever mention it's for a wedding unless it's 100% necessary. Prices go way way way up when it's for a wedding. People are assholes.
Now waiting for "How to Plan a Wedding in 10 Steps (The George R. R. Martin Version)"...
LOL, I feel sorry for people who do this. Do you know how much getting married cost me and my husband? $90. Marriage license + civil ceremony fee. At this point in time most people already live together and have sex, so WTF is the purpose of spending all that money? Use it for a vacation or a down payment!
Same reason anyone holds a Birthday Party Just bigger.
@@erikm6689 to buy a clown who murders kids?
Love how she throws in the glitter.
Yep!
I never understood the point of a wedding. Seriously, why in the world would I want to wear an uncomfortable dress and stand around for hours when I can just pay the court to marry us and blow all of that cash on a sweet vacation?
:D I found a $65 white dress in the back of Chez Fanci Formal Dresses Shoppe, thus bypassing the hell of Tres Snobby Wedding Boutique. The "something old" was a four year old pair of white shoes. And yes, you will thoroughly enjoy that sweet vacation, for the simple reason you won't be too worn out, stressed out and exhausted to talk about whatever comes up. ;)
You are marrying before the sight of god, so you see, it's a religious tradition.... and it goes waaaay back. and it's also that big party, you invite your friends, family, it kinda makes it special.... though I totally see your point, I do, I really do
God doesn't require you to have a big party, Mainstream Society does.
well, tell that to the bible and the priests lol
you can also ommit the party, those called "small weddings"
Diego Irrazabal
Tell all that to the pagans you stole most of your religion from.
I had a teacher in high school that did paintball at his wedding
If I ever get married, I'm going to have a potluck in my church's multipurpose room and will invite the number of people who can fit in there.
my parents wedding
black and red clothes.
actual italian buffet
simple small deserts. like cupcakes and eclaires.
known rock band who did festivals and shit then in our country. ROCK BAND!!!
and not inviting all cousins. because my dads side is huge. (his parents had way too many siblings)
This is hilarious!! As a Wedding Planner some of these are so true but don't have to turn out that way.
I’m gonna reduce these 10 steps into 1.
Step 1.) Go to Las Vegas.
Oh crap. I just remembered I didn't RSVP to my friends wedding invitation lol.
lol
Its 80 dollars per plate DARREN!😂😂
I was the wedding photographer for my friend. They eloped to the courthouse.
We started with a $1,000 budget (which was incredibly optimistic). A year later and a month until the wedding to go and we've spent about 10 grand...
oh my gosh! congratulations on your coming nuptials and your new chapter together.. yes wedding planning can be stressful and dramatic and a test to the relationship. have a lovely fun celebration!
Are yall still together though?
@@yoholup19 yep
@@SalemK okay lasted longer than my bosses marriage
Planning a wedding is that bad
I’m currently doing it and I love it
Yes it gets stressful but the trick is to remember that this is your day, you’re paying for it and you decide what you want
Don’t do things because other people ask about it or you think you should
It’s all your decision.
So there are benefits to having no friends, and having disowned most of your family.
Absolutely! When I get married, the guest list will be AT LEAST half of what it would be if I weren’t estranged 😉
Oh my goodness, I said yes in May and litteraly EVERYBODY who knows have "some great advices" for me --"
When I get engaged I'm going to start crying and when people ask whats wrong I'm going to shout "I have to plan a f****** wedding"
My husband and I have watched this sketch so many times when talking out wedding ideas, and in the end, we had a courthouse wedding/eloped...
Between this video, and the Adam ruins everything segment they were in, I'm curious how their actual wedding went.