How Loving An Alcoholic Can Change You (and your relationship)

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  • Опубліковано 28 чер 2024
  • Loving someone battling addiction is an emotional rollercoaster. You're not alone in this journey, and we're here to offer understanding and solutions. Join Amber Hollingsworth in exploring the complexities of this challenging path, shedding light on the impact it has on your life and your quest for healing.
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 47

  • @robinb7067
    @robinb7067 5 місяців тому +40

    All of this. Been there, done that. Those who don't understand alcoholism/addiction don't understand how profoundly it affects everyone around the addict/alcoholic. By the time I left my alcoholic, I was as sick as he was, maybe more. It's the same disease, I just don't drink. Al-Anon helped me to regain my sense of self, to detach with love, to hate the disease not the person.

    • @nicoleevaherbst7306
      @nicoleevaherbst7306 4 місяці тому +7

      Wow! Love your comment. I've read this line somewhere before -- "The spouse/family eventually becomes sicker than the alcoholic themselves." Profound stuff. I left my alcoholic ex boyfriend 7 months ago once things started to hit the fan. Moving in together, talks of marriage and starting a family etc. His drinking became more intense towards the last few months of our relationship and I developed acute panic attacks for the first time in my life. Sometimes your body will start communicating what your mind/heart doesn't want to accept.

    • @Quartzone6145
      @Quartzone6145 4 місяці тому +1

      Totally and I like a drink in a social situation but it's never that he doesn't do it socially cos he has to use while he's drinking so we never get to go out and have a good time.

  • @stephenholmes1036
    @stephenholmes1036 18 днів тому +1

    Yes, She wouldn't stop so after 14 years mysekf and my 3 daughters 11, 8, 5 left.
    She wasn't only destroying her life , She was destroying ours too! She was a hell of a liar but got found out and went her own way.

  • @melissad.6722
    @melissad.6722 3 місяці тому +4

    I cant stand being around my addicted loved one while they smoke pot or drink alcohol. To see them impaired, altered, seeing the person i love being replaced by someone else, slower, not with it, not speaking sensibly, dumbed down, not all there, gives me such a bad feeling inside. The worst part is if they only drink a bit or smoke a bit theyre fine and still ok to be with but i never know how much or if theyre going to change so im immediately on edge when they use at alll. . I feel like im being stolen from or abandoned or deceived.

  • @clubfishersd
    @clubfishersd 5 місяців тому +11

    I'm choking on resentment. My feet are shredded from walking on razor sharp eggshells. My beloved is infiltrated terribly.
    Your videos have helped me realize I must CARE FOR ME... get back to TOOLS and strengthening myself... I begin with a new therapist (trial) and I am going back to Al-Anon tomorrow evening. And tonight trying the on line Smart Recovery group for families.
    I appreciate your care to guide us painted hearts. Thank you.

  • @lorimcdevitt1506
    @lorimcdevitt1506 4 місяці тому +5

    This is SO true! I feel like I wasted so much time with him.

  • @laurapasco457
    @laurapasco457 5 місяців тому +10

    NEEDED THISSSS … ALLLLL OF THIS TRUTH … thank you BLESSINGS

  • @user-ku7gp9ss9n
    @user-ku7gp9ss9n День тому +2

    This lady is very good

  • @sarathweatt3801
    @sarathweatt3801 5 місяців тому +9

    This right here helps me to know that I am not alone. I swear hearing everything sheri said it was a complete reflection of how I have been for 18yrs. I feel so numb now days whereas I use to be so fun loving and happy. I miss that about myself

  • @tamaraludmilasings
    @tamaraludmilasings 5 місяців тому +16

    I always felt so unseen and like I was losing my mind. Nobody was getting me and I doubted if I was a villain. It's been many months since I went NC with my addicted loved one. And you have been the only one that has nailed every single thing I've felt, thought, and has described with great accuracy everything about my addicted loved one and me. Thank you. You have given me so much peace. I feel seen, heard, understood and hugged. Thank you.

    • @PutTheShovelDown
      @PutTheShovelDown  4 місяці тому

      Wow! Thanks for the positive feedback 😁😁😁

    • @TeaRose9
      @TeaRose9 4 місяці тому

      Very well said. Same for me.

  • @thomasmiller458
    @thomasmiller458 4 місяці тому +7

    It’s like you’re inside my head!! Such a validating video. Thank you!!

  • @HD-mg9ru
    @HD-mg9ru 4 місяці тому +3

    Amber thank you so much for putting this video out there. Tragedy has struck my life due to my alcoholic daughter.... I'm in a bad place because of her. I lost a lot of money because of her and I'm picking up the pieces and trying to find Myself right now.
    I really needed to hear this!
    Thank you 🙏

  • @jimmycantrell3496
    @jimmycantrell3496 4 місяці тому +2

    Thank you Amber for everything you’ve done for the familys of addicts 😊

  • @adventureswithus9097
    @adventureswithus9097 5 місяців тому +7

    I need to book sessions with you because I feel like I'm dying from his addiction.

  • @angelaped
    @angelaped 4 місяці тому +2

    Sooooo accurate! Your channel is THE best. Thank you!

  • @anniejacobs7126
    @anniejacobs7126 4 місяці тому +4

    Wow, thank you so much for this!!! God bless you!

  • @federicasveva1096
    @federicasveva1096 2 місяці тому +1

    Thank you

  • @amritadasgupta568
    @amritadasgupta568 4 місяці тому +6

    I am so so grateful.. i escaped from marrying my alcoholic fiance. I was so much manipulated by him i kept questioning myself. Thank you

    • @TeaRose9
      @TeaRose9 4 місяці тому

      Lifesaving!! I regret more than anything that I fell for marrying my addict husband, it was complete destruction.

    • @stephenholmes1036
      @stephenholmes1036 18 днів тому +1

      My wife was just the same

  • @adeleb3098
    @adeleb3098 5 місяців тому +6

    Oh my! I've been here before. Within the first few seconds of your video... 😖

  • @donnajoao
    @donnajoao 2 місяці тому +1

    Watching this and other videos of yours i sit in my room and cry cause its like holy shit this is my fucked up life with my alcoholic Boyfriend. Im 59 weve been together 11 years he was sober till 2021 and my life is hell. Hes a mean self center abusive drunk. I dont drink so i cant deal with it im depressed im mad im sad i have police at my house they dont care. Im trapped he is the bread winner so im at his mercy. I lie to my family i lie to myself. I want out but then i will be homeless. Sorry for venting sorry

  • @tonyspoetry
    @tonyspoetry 9 днів тому

    Great video 📹

  • @user-ih7vu6gx5r
    @user-ih7vu6gx5r 4 місяці тому +2

    I'm currently in recovery from a meth and cocaine addiction. I have about 5 months clean, though I'm still currently struggling with depression and feelings of emptiness. A part of me very much misses that "amped up" reality those drugs provided me. Sometimes being clean just does not feel satisfying.

    • @bernieryan1343
      @bernieryan1343 4 місяці тому +4

      Give it time. It's early days. You need time for your brain chemistry to reset. Good luck. You are on the right Rd.

  • @debjanideb4403
    @debjanideb4403 3 місяці тому +1

    No one could analyse or understand my condition, better and to the point, as you did...I literally felt you have made this video for me..Thanks for this..
    Thanks for this channel.. You are helping many people..

    • @PutTheShovelDown
      @PutTheShovelDown  3 місяці тому

      You're so welcome. I'm glad this was helpful for you. Thank you for your positive feedback.

  • @FullOf3n3rgy
    @FullOf3n3rgy 5 місяців тому +4

    why didn't i find this years ago ? ahahaha. thanks anyway !

  • @tinaschrello7160
    @tinaschrello7160 4 місяці тому +1

    I’m going through this right now, I’ve been with my boyfriend for 12 years and I stopped drinking almost 5 years ago, I don’t know who I am anymore. I have so many feelings and emotions that I just can’t stop, I leave him because he lies to me and I know that he is always going to pick alcohol over anything, but then I start thinking that he needs me and I always go back, this is been going on ever since I got sober, I’m a mess and I don’t know how to stop it, I just found this channel and I’m reaching out for help, I need it

  • @user-zj8si9mw9n
    @user-zj8si9mw9n 4 місяці тому +2

    My frustration in changing slowly into loving him less... I am getting older, how much energy I have left in me to deal with his s**t. Less every year.. the other day after making him to go back to bed (he felt asleep on our dog's bed), the next day he said 'I didnt drink, you made that up!' He sounded really honest😅.. I was speechless. Is it possible he could not remember drinking the nigh before?

  • @lulujanuary
    @lulujanuary 4 місяці тому

    Thank you ❤

  • @michelleradford5956
    @michelleradford5956 4 місяці тому +1

    Thank you 😊🙌🏾

  • @LynnsWorld13
    @LynnsWorld13 2 місяці тому

    Say you have a loved one who has a gift that he got from his dad for giving lectures, that also has a problem, and has 0 confidence in himself as well as no value in himself because his dad drummed it into his head that he’s stupid since childhood. How would you handle that if he didn’t come around very often and the only way you communicated with him was through short text message conversations? How would you go about getting him to open up to you without being too overbearing?
    I have an “okay”, connection with one of my cousins, but I don’t see him that often, and we mostly text. And he doesn’t normally say very much.

  • @lyviathon8112
    @lyviathon8112 4 місяці тому

    What video should we.watch next

  • @marilynnhudson2849
    @marilynnhudson2849 4 місяці тому +1

    Will you talk about how to interact with someone with meth delusions?

  • @user-dc5rg9mn1p
    @user-dc5rg9mn1p 5 місяців тому +2

    🎯🎯🎯🎯😵‍💫