i think people put it so much onto you when you turn 20 to find a man and settle down and it sucks. the amount of my life i’ve spent hiding who i wanted to be but in 2025 i hope to myself completely
That pressure is so heavy, and it’s so sad how it can overshadow who you truly are. I love that you’re setting the intention to be fully yourself this year-that’s such a powerful thing. ❤
After my ex broke up with me I was in such a bad place, I was absolutely heartbroken and had no idea who I was without him. I'm now having so much fun rediscovering myself, I've learned so much about myself and honestly have never been so happy in my life. I feel like I've completely let go of seeking out male validation. So so grateful that I found your videos Alessia 💜
Wow girly, this is so inspiring -heartbreak can be so overwhelming, but hearing how you’ve found yourself again and are truly happy now is so inspiring. You deserve so much joy. 💜
"there are other ways to feel good... there are other ways to feel worthy" that is such a great and simple reminder to ourselves. there are other ways for us to feel good about ourselves without being an object of desire to men.
Oh, I feel that so deeply-it’s so hard when those feelings creep in, and it can feel so heavy. But the fact that you’re recognising it and being honest about it shows how much self-awareness and strength you have. Sending you so much love. ❤
You are right. It is dangerous. It led me to dangerous and toxic relationships and situations in which my boundaries were crossed because I didn’t have good boundaries. It led me to a very promiscuous lifestyle in my younger years, to low self esteem and feeling like I wasn’t good enough without a man fancying me or giving me that quick shot of validation or sexual interest. It has shaped me so much that now as a 43 year old I’m unlearning all of this for the first time. I am learning how to date in a healthy way. A getting to know someone slowly way and a showing my true self without the mask and relying on my looks. Alessia you are beautiful on both the outside and the inside. Your eloquence grace and wisdom shine through. I also LOVE your lipstick. Such a gorgeous color on you. ❤
9:16 Haven’t finished the video yet but i want to say that i like your video content because you choose to kindly address the subjects that most women are afraid to confront whether it’s cause we don’t want to be honest with ourselves or others. You do it with such grace and transparency, it is truly a space that grants room for freedom in truth. Thank you
When you said I should not be ashamed it felt so good I almost cried. I feel sad that I'm still affected by this search of male validation too often but you are right, I shouldn't be ashamed of it, just continue to reflect on this topic and become more free with time ❤
Woww ❤❤❤ thank you Watching It's really perfect to me how you're approaching the topic Yes I've been a statue throughout life since my teen years It's amazing how you describe this stuff ❤ And it was dangerous to me I am excited to start moving out of this long phase as I make my own sense of self
Hi❤ i'd like to ask: When you started to build this way of thinking, how did you use to be around men compared to now? How does it feel to not give a f about their gaze on you?
loll my Spotify Wrapped top 5 artists were all women including Sabrina, Ariana and Taylor. No man is ever gonna make me deny that that's that me espresso 💅🏻
Great video!! BUT some women genuinely do not like pop artists like Beyonce, Ariana Grande, etc. I am one of those women. I just don’t like their music. Nothing against Beyonce, her music just isn’t my cup of tea. I do like SOME pop artists, but my main genres of choice are rock/metal and its various subgenres. I find empowerment in those genres too. And some genuinely don’t like makeup or girly activities. I’m neurodivergent and I HATE the feeling of makeup on my face. I genuinely don’t have an interest in fashion. I HATE going shopping, as an introvert it’s too much. Not every woman shares these interests typically associated with their gender, and that’s okay 😪
I'm the same, honestly. It's can be so much more degrading to be a female fan of things that aren't considered 'traditionally feminine' and have to prove your interest in those things, in a way that a guy never would. Can we just look at people and recognize them as human beings first and foremost, rather than as either a man or a woman? Feminism is about equality and being oneself unapologetically after all, isn't it?
apologies if you've addressed this in other videos but curious what prompted you to go on this journey and how you changed your behaviours and thoughts so intensely?
Listening to your video makes me realise how much I grew and evolved, de-centering myself from men as a woman coming from a traditional family that raised me to be please men. Thank you for all the work you are doing for women. 🤍
i think people put it so much onto you when you turn 20 to find a man and settle down and it sucks. the amount of my life i’ve spent hiding who i wanted to be but in 2025 i hope to myself completely
❤❤❤❤🔥🎆🌹👑♥️😘 same here
That pressure is so heavy, and it’s so sad how it can overshadow who you truly are. I love that you’re setting the intention to be fully yourself this year-that’s such a powerful thing. ❤
the world would be a better place if all of us women would shift our focus from men to ourselves & started supporting each other ❤
After my ex broke up with me I was in such a bad place, I was absolutely heartbroken and had no idea who I was without him. I'm now having so much fun rediscovering myself, I've learned so much about myself and honestly have never been so happy in my life. I feel like I've completely let go of seeking out male validation. So so grateful that I found your videos Alessia 💜
Wow girly, this is so inspiring -heartbreak can be so overwhelming, but hearing how you’ve found yourself again and are truly happy now is so inspiring. You deserve so much joy. 💜
@@alessiasutherberry 💜💜💜
Me as a gay boy watching this and nodding all the way 🙈very insightful video 💗
I just love your content. Your voice, the gentle bird sounds, what you touch on and how you articulate it. This is a wonderful safe space. ❤
This means so much-thank you my lovely. It makes me so happy to know this feels like a safe space for you. ❤
"there are other ways to feel good... there are other ways to feel worthy" that is such a great and simple reminder to ourselves. there are other ways for us to feel good about ourselves without being an object of desire to men.
The timing!! I hate that I feel like my worthiness ties to if men desire me or not. I feel like something’s wrong with me if I’m not desired by them:(
Oh, I feel that so deeply-it’s so hard when those feelings creep in, and it can feel so heavy. But the fact that you’re recognising it and being honest about it shows how much self-awareness and strength you have. Sending you so much love. ❤
You are right. It is dangerous. It led me to dangerous and toxic relationships and situations in which my boundaries were crossed because I didn’t have good boundaries. It led me to a very promiscuous lifestyle in my younger years, to low self esteem and feeling like I wasn’t good enough without a man fancying me or giving me that quick shot of validation or sexual interest.
It has shaped me so much that now as a 43 year old I’m unlearning all of this for the first time. I am learning how to date in a healthy way. A getting to know someone slowly way and a showing my true self without the mask and relying on my looks.
Alessia you are beautiful on both the outside and the inside. Your eloquence grace and wisdom shine through.
I also LOVE your lipstick. Such a gorgeous color on you. ❤
9:16
Haven’t finished the video yet but i want to say that i like your video content because you choose to kindly address the subjects that most women are afraid to confront whether it’s cause we don’t want to be honest with ourselves or others. You do it with such grace and transparency, it is truly a space that grants room for freedom in truth. Thank you
you have no Idea how right on time you are. I’ve been dealing with this for the past week and drives me crazy!
When you said I should not be ashamed it felt so good I almost cried. I feel sad that I'm still affected by this search of male validation too often but you are right, I shouldn't be ashamed of it, just continue to reflect on this topic and become more free with time ❤
Bless you my lovely. Be gentle with yourself-you’re doing beautifully. ❤
Nothing wrong with the title I love it actually 💚💚
I needed to hear this. Thank you so much. I vow to be authentic and top dimming myself for men from this point on.
This video made me cry thank you
the passion in your eyes and words. thank you so much for making this account and sharing it with us
thank you love. This comes at a good moment
Thank you for existing. Thank you, thank you, thank you❤
queen uploaded
Definitely needed to hear a lot of that. Thanks Alessia ❤❤
Woww ❤❤❤ thank you
Watching
It's really perfect to me how you're approaching the topic
Yes I've been a statue throughout life since my teen years
It's amazing how you describe this stuff
❤
And it was dangerous to me
I am excited to start moving out of this long phase as I make my own sense of self
LOVE YOUR CONTENT
Hi❤
i'd like to ask:
When you started to build this way of thinking, how did you use to be around men compared to now? How does it feel to not give a f about their gaze on you?
loll my Spotify Wrapped top 5 artists were all women including Sabrina, Ariana and Taylor. No man is ever gonna make me deny that that's that me espresso 💅🏻
@@valeriab4100 go girly ❤️💕❤️
@alessiasutherberry 🥰🥰🥰 love your videos!
Great video!! BUT some women genuinely do not like pop artists like Beyonce, Ariana Grande, etc. I am one of those women. I just don’t like their music. Nothing against Beyonce, her music just isn’t my cup of tea. I do like SOME pop artists, but my main genres of choice are rock/metal and its various subgenres. I find empowerment in those genres too. And some genuinely don’t like makeup or girly activities. I’m neurodivergent and I HATE the feeling of makeup on my face. I genuinely don’t have an interest in fashion. I HATE going shopping, as an introvert it’s too much. Not every woman shares these interests typically associated with their gender, and that’s okay 😪
Yes kind of same❤
Which is okay !! It is only an issue if you are PRETENDING to like these things for men
I don’t like pop artists as well😢
@@Angelina_Rava they are boringgggggg
I'm the same, honestly. It's can be so much more degrading to be a female fan of things that aren't considered 'traditionally feminine' and have to prove your interest in those things, in a way that a guy never would. Can we just look at people and recognize them as human beings first and foremost, rather than as either a man or a woman? Feminism is about equality and being oneself unapologetically after all, isn't it?
subscribed. such wise words
Love your rings
do you have book recommendations for this topic?
apologies if you've addressed this in other videos but curious what prompted you to go on this journey and how you changed your behaviours and thoughts so intensely?
As a sapho's girl what the hell i'm doing here
:(( you touched my heart
Alessia when will you go live??🥺
So accurate video, thanks a lot 🫶🫶
👏🙌🫶
Listening to your video makes me realise how much I grew and evolved, de-centering myself from men as a woman coming from a traditional family that raised me to be please men. Thank you for all the work you are doing for women. 🤍