@@GrowingUpinPolygamy It’s like the comfort of home in my ears and I get sad when on occasion it gets missed 😂 (But don’t stress, I just say it for you 😅) Love yas!
I was 17 when I became pregnant with my daughter. My decision to continue with my pregnancy was at odds with my family (who I blindly thought were wonderful) In disagreeing to terminate my pregnancy they wiped their hands of me. 28 yrs later that baby is still the best decision I’ve ever made in my life and being her mother is my greatest blessing. Life is interesting and families are complicated but all we can aim for is to do better than the family we came from😊
I got married at 18. I know I wasn't prepared. Fortunately we've made it 42 years but honestly the struggle has been real. My daughter waited until her education was finished and had lived independently for some time and married at 25. She is a much better parent and confident woman and wife because of her brain being fully developed.
I got married at 18. I had no choice. It was a matter of survival. I didnt even know who I was yet, but a year later, I was someone's mom, and then had 3 more. It was a long time before I realized who I was, who I am.
I grew up in a very religious Christian home. My Dad was a Southern Baptist minister and was very strict. So, when I went away to college, it was like I was finally free. And I did things that hurt my parents badly. Once I left home, I never went back. But, I knew, in the back of my mind, that if I HAD gone back, they would welcome me with open arms. I'm so sorry that you didn't have that same feeling, Sam. My heart goes out to you AND your mother.
I am so impressed by Sam's grace, forgiveness, and dignity as he talks about his childhood. And Melissa's support and love shines through everything. Thank you for providing the kind of insight and understanding we all need to live together.
34:03 Your empathy is probably your greatest strength, Melissa. You are so intelligent and you have so many wonderful qualities. But your highly-developed emotional intelligence makes you perfect to interview such a wide variety of people. ❤️
I clicked on this as soon as I saw it arrive online. I've always wondered what your personal story was Sam. Thanks so much for sharing it. I also started to tear up a bit at the end.. My daughters are 19 and almost 18 and they are in no way ready to make such life altering decisions as you did. It's evident that overall things worked out for you for the best, but I'm sure there's been heartbreak too for the family you left behind. I'll be waiting for the next part of the series!
“I knew more about the world than I think I was supposed to know.” That HIT me. The end of the video is so emotional, and I’m just sending much love to you both tonight. Melissa, you’re 100% right. It’s so developmentally normal to say things to our parents and families at that age while trying to go out into the world, but more often than not the consequences don’t add up to never seeing/speaking to them again. One thing I will say as a longtime subscriber is that comparing the beginning videos to this one isn’t only a difference in sound quality. The amount and depth of personal growth is just so authentic and beautiful. The beginning videos have a lot of both of you smiling even while you’re talking through some heart wrenching moments, but today there were a million different feelings on the screen at once. Even though im just one random person on the internet, I’m so proud of you both for that ❤️
I'm so glad you didn't leave that last part out. I've been following you guys for quite a while and I saw the original videos. The way you guys handle and speak about stuff has changed and I think you're getting better. You used to be very neutral when speaking and clearly trying to be super respectful, but you lost so much soul. But now when you let yourselves out more, it lets us feel the emotion a bit more. That was beautiful. Sam's heart and wish to go back and show his mother his love. Melissa, your empathy is beautiful. This was a really good episode guys. Can't wait for next week!
I'm also glad you leave the emotional parts in. Talking about these topics and life experiences is emotional. You're human, that's why I love your perspectives. ❤
y'all's mormon story is one of my favorites. i've watched it at least 2 or 3 times! but even all those hours still didn't seem like enough to fit the whole story 😂i'm glad you guys are using your own platform to take your time on this deep dive 💖
Seeing how Sam's story impacted Melissa, bringing her to tears, and the love in his eyes when he was looking at her is real life relationship goals. Honestly you both found your soulmate, and its so nice to see! Much love to you both
Can't wait for the rest of the story. And yes, Melissa, at 18 I moved in with a guy that my mom "approved" of, but had no clue he was physically and emotionally abusive. I escaped that nightmare relationship and ended up living briefly with my brother until I met my husband.
I was hoping you guys would do a long form, much deeper talk about Sam's experiences with polygamy. I'm so glad that you are both open to talking about all of your experiences. I would love to hear more from both of you about your experiences leaving the LDS and all the doubt surrounding it. You're both right by the way, it's still a walkman. It's just called a CD Walkman specifically.
As for Melissa's question at the end... I was also 18 when I went to (catholic) church for the last time, and JUST like Sam, if you'd have told me that morning that my life was going to change that night, I wouldn't have believed you. It all was SO quick for me too. But HONESTLY it was the first step in the RIGHT direction. Sam would have never met you if he hadn't left that night. I made a lot of stupid decisions in my youth, but that wasn't one of them. Even though yes, it broke my mother's heart.
Thank you for sharing your story Sam. The funny thing is that you describe a childhood that is very much thought to be the ideal scenario by many psychologists (a supportive community, many playmates, lots of opportunity to play without adult supervision and direction), with the very important exception that as you got older, there wasn't a lot of free choice. There's even a particular group of psychologists who believe (with a great deal of supporting research) that by having much less directed education and much more play time, kids can do immense learning, including learning critical thinking skills that just can't be taught by a textbook in a school setting. I know you've mentioned not feeling very smart after you left because of your lack of formal education, but I see it from a very different perspective. I think that you learned things and in a more natural way than most kids today get the opportunity to, simply because school hours are too long with too little play time. Obviously you have become a well educated and capable adult, and I'm so sorry that it has also meant losing your relationship with many of your family members.
I don’t think he’s bitter at all but I agree with you totally. I think he got lucky and was in a loving family. He saw a side to it than many unfortunately never see. Many never have much love and I’m so glad his family had that
Melissa getting all emotional made me cry. My heart breaks for Sam's mother and Sam as well. To answer Melissa's question . Many many times but I think now that I'm older . Those decisions are what made me today and I like who I am today. We may regret how we done things but it all lead us to who we are today ❤
Yes you two. Great job. As a born and raised Roman Catholic I left the faith after getting married to a non practicing Christian. I’ve often struggled with the lack of religion in my life since but carried on and raised three wonderful children as I was raised to the best of my ability. Religion is such a deep subject that isn’t much discussed in western Canada anymore due to the fact that there are so many different sides to the subject. Not unlike politics. Both subjects can be so divisive that they are NOT SUBJECTS TO BE DISCUSSED in ANY forum anymore. At least here in Canada. We don’t tell people anywhere at anytime of our religious or political affiliations. It just isn’t polite conversation. Me and fellow Canadians often find Americans quite eye opening when we travel south about the openness on these subjects. I suppose that explains why Canadians are often considered by Americans as being “nice”. We have learned how not to ruin family and other events by not discussing either subject. I so enjoy listing to your video podcasts as a child of God learning how the other half lives their lives in this very complicated world. It helps me realize that everyone is the same and we all have the same hopes and dreams for our families and futures the world over. All the best to you both and I will impatiently wait for your next episode.
Hi Sam and Melissa, I really enjoyed today's video. I got a little teary at the end so I send virtual hugs from all the way down here in New Zealand ❤ I also want to add that I made awful decisions as a teenager and I probably did hurt my parents sometimes but I always knew there was unconditional love and support for us. I'm not saying Sam wasnt loved, but just that being a part of our home wasnt conditional upon a specific spiritual belief system. It makes me incredibly sad for both the kids who leave and for the parents left behind. I cant imagine not seeing my children again, thats got to be the most painful thing anyone could do. But then I get a bit angry at the leaders for forcing these rules upon their followers resulting in the destruction of families
You two are lovely. Thank you for sharing. It sounds like your father is a good man. You communicate very well that polygamy is not a fair system, but you are a very fortunate man that your father was the man he is in that system.
I love this so so much! I've been following you both for years, but it's so nice to see it all in one video. I grew up in a faction of catholicism that my mom used to tell us all the time that we were special and different, and the world was wicked but we weren't. So I get that. The thing that is blowing my mind the most is all the lies. How Sam and his brothers would concoct a story as to how one got injured or how he was told to tell people he was 16 or 18 when he was 13. I never lied. Lying was a sin... a big sin. It wouldn't have even crossed my mind to lie.
The bedroom set story made me laugh. I bought a very expensive bedroom set at 16 too. Nicer than anything my parents had. I’m 68 and still have the same bedroom furniture. Your story is so incredible. I can’t imagine the bravery it took to leave the FLDS.
Thank you so so much for posting this video. I got married for the first time at 18. That was part of the downward spiral for my relationship with my dad. Now at the age of 34 I have not spoken to my dad in almost 3 years. We weren’t an FLDS family but my dad is a minister. There are a lot of “skeletons” that my father refuses to deal with. I have not had any contact with any member of my father’s side of the family in years. As hard as it is, I wouldn’t change it for the world.
I'm old enough probably to be your mum, both of you. I'm just saying your parents should be proud of you both for being such lovely genuine people. Between 16 and seventeen, I started college, left college left home went to work hated that came home did a community college course and finally went back to college again and that took me 2 years to settle in. My poor folks putting up with my immature tearful self young indecisive and not knowing how lucky I was. I did appreciate their support eventually. As one of three my parents were great at listening and encouraging us in all we did. I eventually got my degree several diplomas and worked at various things but never was more proud than when I saw both parents as adults who didn't grow up with much both getting to graduate as adults from university. Both put a high emphasis on education on reading and also music was huge in our family. So I see I've been very priviledged and also both parents had strong faith but never forced it on us especially as we grew older and marriages broke down or non faith members and 2nd partners were welcomed with open minds and hearts. They were together for almost 63 years and passed within 17months of each other. It was my priviledge to care for them. To have had such a special upbringing by such a great couple I can so much more appreciate now looking at the world of polygamy via Sam's eyes. Your kids I'm sure will appreciate the new world you both have given them. Blessings to you all.🎉 cc
Sending you guys so much love! I am so glad you decided to do this interview. You two are so beautiful. It's good to know that your 2 kiddos will never be banned from returning home. Breaking toxic family cycles is a wonderful place to be and overcome. Proud of both of you!
I made the decision to get married at 17 years old. We were raised in completely different cultures. I was a preacher's granddaughter and he was an alcoholic's son. What a culture shock! We stayed married for 20 years and had three children but he was chronically unemployed and I became the primary breadwinner and had to act as my husband's mother. By year 17, I was more tired than I'd ever been and couldn't take it any more. I remarried 4 years later. He and I were more matched and have been together for over 30 years and so happy! Your story is so heartbreaking. I'm glad you found out that most of us "gentiles" are good people.
This is so similar to my story. Married young, chronic unemployment, mix in mental illness and heavy drinking mixed with psychiatric medications, I had completely given up hope on life by age 25. I gave up hope on becoming a mother because my husband needed me to be his mother. Thankful that I decided to get out despite the anger and disappointment of my parents. Im in my 30s with my perfect match now. I'm happy and sad for both of us.
When I was 18 I started College, and Had a VA grant, Which made it possible for me to move out. I decided and found a place in 2 days. But after about 8 months I ended up so overwhelmed with work, and school that I dropped out and ended up in my Mothers living room begging her to move back home. I was lucky, she said yes, but on the condition that I either went back to school, or found a full time job. So grateful that the consciences of my decision were not so major.
Thank you for sharing, Sam! I appreciate both of you showing your vulnerability. It was brave for Sam to leave like that but so heartbreaking for his mom and siblings. I had my oldest son at 17. My mom kicked me out and I had to navigate the world on my own, yet enrolled in college full-time, got an apartment, worked two part-time jobs, and figured out childcare, student loans and public assistance. It was nice to hear the positives about growing up FLDS. It's funny. My youngest son, age 13, thinks life must've been awful and incredibly boring for me to grow up without smartphones or the Internet (I am 55). It was actually great, a simpler life I am grateful to have experienced.
This episode was wonderful, and I look forward to learning more about your lives in future videos! I definitely relate to making decisions I didn't really understand at 18. I was sheltered, naive, and too trusting. I got into situations I didn't know weren't safe and sadly ended up being SAed. I was legally an adult once I turned 18, but I was still just a girl who didn't know any better.
If you had some trauma, of a different nature than what Sam had, these types of stories are both healing and interesting to listen to, at the same time. By talking about what he went through, and educating others about the FLDS, Sam also helps others heal. Looking forward to Part 2.
It is a such awesome story, I grew up St. George and I stopped to go LDS church when I was about 12 years old and knew both FLDS and LDS was conflicted. My parents were upset with me.. My mom tried to tell me about FLDS and don't make sense to me.. Thank you for your awesome shared!
Sam and Melissa! This was so good! Can’t wait for the rest. Sam, being 63 myself. Yes at 16 I rebelled. I was on my own at 16. Yes there are things I wish I either hadn’t done or said. But I’m the better person for being who I am today. Don’t say I wish I had or could have done. You two are a amazing couple and I admire you both! To be perfectly honest I don’t know one family in some way or fashion that’s the “Perfect” Family. I’m so glad you had great family support growing up. That’s huge in itself. Nothing stays the same. Nothing. At 61 I finally got to close the door and open a new door. That’s with what I lived with while growing up. Long time... (but this had to do with step family for me) no specific church will get you in heaven. It’s your personal relationship with God that does. ✝️😁👋🏼💞
My 13 year old son is 6’ tall! 😊❤ Sam you are so kind. You spoke about your father pointing out the good in people he’d meet- I think you share this trait with him. 😊
I left home at 15/16 yrs old & moved out. I left due to my parents putting a lot of parental demands on me when it came to my sister & little brother I was raising them. My mom worked & my dad that raised me was in a rehab facility due to him becoming unable to walk do to a prior injury to his spine. I didn’t have the knowledge in my teenage brain at that time to understand how much that was a hard time for my family all I cared about was my friends, a dumb boyfriend etc. I became a mom a month before my 19th birthday, he changed my world & I went bk to college. It brought my parents & I closer together after yrs of not talking.
When I was 17 I had to have heart surgery that was very unexpected.. I was in the hospital for over a month with my parents there by my side through it all. The night I finally was released from the hospital all I wanted to do was go to my boyfriends house but since I was just released from the hospital my parents did not want me going anywhere. I put on a big fight with my parents about it until it ended with yelling and me saying some hurtful things and walking out of the house slamming the door behind me and went to my boyfriend’s house against their wishes. I’m 30 now and still to this day wish I didn’t act in such a way and know I hurt my parents by acting that way especially after all they just went through watching their daughter have heart surgery… thankfully though I did have a home to go back to and a forgiving family that loved me endlessly. I feel for you Sam ❤ and for your mom and wish she understood.
When I was 18 years old, my parents bought me a truck full of new furniture, loaded up my belongings, and rented an apartment a few states away so I could go to beauty school. I’d never really been away from home so was very homesick. I made multiple bad decisions but eventually landed on my feet. I’ve now been married for almost 40 years and have a wonderful family.
I may not have grown up in a high demand religion, but I did have a high demand family situation. I chose to leave at 17, not realizing that meant that I would be officially on my own for life. Even when my dad got dementia and I went home to care for him and do his hospice care, I was always treated as the help. Eventually, I had to choose to no longer engage since the continued trauma was just too much. I am so glad that you two have each other and such a beautiful family together!
Sam, There have been troubled times with my daughter. But, she always had a home with me. ❤❤ I know through your experiences, you have become a wonderful person, husband and Father. There are always decisions we regret. But, the only thing to do is move forward. I hope your Mother wakes up and realizes God blessed her with a wonderful Son and He wouldn't want her to shut him out of her life. Sending my love ❤
Thank you for sharing your story. Very interesting. Kudos for having the courage to be vulnerable and share that convo with your mom. As a mom with a 20 year old, I cried for your mom and for you. I cannot imagine never seeing my child again. Hugs.
This is definitely my favorite video you have done. Thank you for sharing your story so in depth and being raw and vulnerable. You are a great storyteller and had me laughing out loud and tearing up. Can’t wait for the next video.
OMG, I was getting so curious about your story, Sam - that I was going to go back through the years of your channel to see if you had talked about your life! And here you are, telling us! Wow! I really can’t wait to hear more!
I had a situation around 17 years old. I made the decisions I did and I know it hurt my mom. But it was absolutely something that I had to do with my life at that time. Despite the life choices I had made, my mom has always been on my side and she’s one of my best friends. I’m very grateful for her support and understanding so many years later. Melissa, you never have to apologize for being emotional and vulnerable. ❤ Looking forward to the next episode.
I loved listening to your story. My heart aches for your Mom and siblings, but it's absolutely understandable!! I'm LDS and I I know that the history of our church it's not perfect, but I I believe in the Restoration as Joseph taught, and I'm learning that he and his family opposed and fought against the practice of polygamy. Never really understood much about the FLDS or any other branches that came from the LDS church, so I'm glad I've found you to learn more, listening to your stories and history. I love the respectful way you speak about everything, even about the people that were not so good, and of your kindness and love towards your parents. Thank you for sharing! God bless you both and your families!!
I was a teenaged Mom. I’m 52 years old with a 35 and 30 year old Sons. I wasn’t prepared but, I wouldn’t change a thing. My Grandson is my heart. ♥️ You two are teaching me a lot. I do wish Sam’s Mom could still have a relationship with him. My Mom heart breaks for her too.
I have been watching this channel from the beginning and never get tired of hearing sams story. Also I just love seeing the old pictures, Sam you were such an adorable child.
This is going to be such a powerful series. Boundaries are hard no matter who sets them especially with family. I’ve had to set boundaries at a young age and it was hard. When you look back and realize what you did was for the better your heart can heal. I’m glad you are free from that situation and hope some day you can talk to your mother.
I’m a rather new subscriber, I grew up happily in the complete absence of religion and programming and was simply taught kindness, respect and compassion, lots of compassion and a basic right vrs wrong mentality, FLDS , LDS and Mormon religion is fascinating and sad in many aspects, I never grew up with fear of hell or damnation I can’t imagine my parents trying to instill a type of fear in our lives instead of security and freedom that we had that being said, you are the most interesting and quickly became my favorite channel on UA-cam! The difference in religion and non religious beliefs is fascinating yet to me , religion always comes off as slightly evil, twisted and simply brainwashing which I now see in most religions and politics! I’m great full to be on the outside looking in and to have strong critical thinking skills that weren’t twisted! Can’t wait to see all the shows you have coming up ! I absolutely adore the 2 of you ! Great character! Great personalities! I’m amazed at what you have deprogrammed and hope you continue to progress!
I’ve seen most of your videos, but I still loved the first part of Sam’s story. This is definitely more in depth and together. Melissa, I’m actually glad you didn’t cut the part of your momma heart going out to Sam and his mother. It’s ok to cry and be vulnerable. Religion aside, I think Sam’s mommas would be so incredibly proud to have you as a daughter.
Yes, absolutely. I cried over Sam's story, too. Not fundamentalist Mormon but born into polygamy. Did not see siblings born to the other mother for over 40 years. Happily reunited. I hope Sam is someday, too, with his mom.
Many parts of Sams story was moving. But getting to the part when Melissa is so raw had me bawling. I also moved out at 17/18 and was completely cut off. I still don't have a great relationship with my dad. One thing I will say it has made me a better parent and I can tell Sam is a better person. Just because their faith says you won't be together in the afterlife, doesnt mean yours does. You are both incredible people and are touching millions with your hearts of gold. ❤
I’ve followed your stories for months now and yet I learned so much. What a childhood Sam! Can’t wait to hear the next phase. Mellisa, you did a great job leading through the questions.
I watched your incredibly moving video about your childhood. After giving this a great deal of thought, I will have to say that, yes, we sometimes make grave decisions that can be hurtful when 18 years old. But, had you not said goodbye and turned your phone off, your Mother would have probably been able to convince you to come back home and your life would be very, very different now. So sometimes there is a reason and a rationale to impulsive decisions Unfortunately, that doesn't ease the often painful consequences. I will say, that none of this was your fault or your Mother's fault, but the real result of belonging to high demand religions that require loyalty to a prophet rather than to family. You a good person Sam.
I've listened to your story many, I mean many times on Mormon Stories Podcast but loved this because it gets much more in depth. Can't wait for the other parts.
So here for this series! I think this is quite noble & vulnerable, and hearing it all together from the people you are today is a new level of beauty through pain. It is utterly tragic that the roots of FLDS run so deep that a mother can’t see any way she could possibly break the rules for the attachment to her children - like from the outside, we all know that she CAN have her family. But she is locked in such a mind prison that this is the path she felt was the only way. The hardships you both have endured are real and enduring. But being out allowed you to chart a future & live a life that any parent truly wants for their child. Again, it’s tragic that she may not be able to see that. But I hope someday she will. 18 is still just a kid in so many ways. Separating from parents is a normal developmental behavior, just like all the other stages you see your own kids going through now. You didn’t do anything wrong by wanting to find your own way out of the insanity of Warren Jeffs. I am hopeful that you guys are building bridges for FLDS & other cult leavers through sharing your stories and walking out this path.
Melissa: You don’t need to apologize when you get emotional, nor should you ever feel you need to. Everyone understands where you are coming from, and knows it comes from the heart. Just let your emotions take you wherever they go.
Now THIS is the story I've been waiting to hear from the beginning! I did watch your MSP episode when it came out and loved it; but this seems much more intimate. Plus I love all the little stories and details you added in today. Thank you, Sam, for your vulnerability!
Sam, thank you for your account on leaving. It made me cry. I originally began watching your UA-cam channel for your SW reviews and stumbled into your history by accident. I am thankful you feel you had a happy childhood and am saddened that you felt you had to leave your mom and dad.
Oh gosh, yes. I had a HUGE fight with my parents at 18, left that night, got pregnant a few months later and then got married! All before I fixed things with my family. I’m very thankful to say that today my husband and I have an amazing marriage and 4 very wonderful kiddos, and my parents ended up being some of our very best friends, but boy oh boy; you do not have a CLUE what life is about at 18. I told both my girls when they turned 18 to never never never get married just because they were pregnant…that even though my husband and I survived, it was a ROUGH road for many years--one that we really made harder on ourselves by getting married so young. We even divorced for 2 years before we remarried (each other). We very clearly needed time to grow up, and at 18 that maturity just is not there.
Love hearing your story in even more depth than you have shared before. Of course most of us made decisions and said things in our youth that we thought we were confident about, but later realized how we were not mature/wise enough to make the best decisions. As Melissa said, most of us did not have the same consequences that you did. We were given the grace to learn how to navigate the world armed with soft landing pads for when we fell short. It is sad that some communities do not allow that. I suppose it made you very self-sufficient very quickly, but at such a high price.
Thank you for sharing your story with us! Before I was 18 I tested my parents often. Luckily for me, because of my family culture, I had A LOT of room to test the boundaries as I discovered the world. As a 52 year old Mother of two girls, I can't imagine having to disconnect from my children based on the teachings of someone other than me! I was raised in a religious family but the 'family Law' was set by my Mum. I only have 4 siblings but my parents were the most amazing teachers. I didn't even know we were poorer than others until I was an adult because my childhood was so wonderful. I know that you both are creating a beautiful world for your children, not because a prophet told you how, because you're both amazing humans ❤❤❤❤
Those tears that Melissa sheds must be bitter sweet... For if Sam had not headed down that path that day... There would be "two awesome kiddos" that wouldn't exist today. It's hard to cry those tears knowing the beauty that came from that loss. Not to negate the loss, but to embrace both the loss and the beauty that came after takes courage and strength. I no longer share my mother's faith... and that has been heartbreaking for her, because it is her whole world. But my mother still can spend time with me and have a relationship with me. I am so grateful that her religion doesn't ask her to kick me to the curb. It makes me angry that your mother's religion asked that of her. I'm not angry at your mother, because like my mom, she was given a narrative that she embraced as truth. I am angry that the leaders and the doctrine holders elevate the religion ahead of family. Thank you for sharing your heart and your story, Sam.
Sam and Mellissa thank you, though I've heard you tell your story before, this was so special thank you Sam. Mellissa, You such a wonderful job 0f interviewing Sam. The two of you have a fabulous loving relationship and a wonderful Family. i was blessed with a wonderful wife and we were married in Cardston Temple. She passed away over 3 years ago. We finally stopped going to the Church. I often think we didn't leave the church it left us.
My mom heart also always breaks every time I’ve heard Sam mention the phone call with his mom the night he left. I cried with Melissa on that part and thank my lucky stars that I grew up in a space where my parents said their home would always be open and my home no matter what. I strive everyday to offer that to my young son, knowing full well that I’ll have the joy and pain of watching him grow into his own person with his own thoughts, experiences, and opinions. Don’t get me wrong, there were times when my decisions as a young person were incredibly painful to my parents and they fully disagreed, but I recognize now what a gift they gave all of us kids to go out and live our lives and make our choices and always be a soft place with open arms to land if we needed it. My heart breaks to think of all the children in the world who didn’t have that soft place, and all the parents who for religious or whatever reasons may have wanted so much to offer that and ultimately weren’t able to.
Sam - you are a good kind man. You so obviously love your family and although you have some regrets on how things happened its obvious how strong and happy you are with your choices.
Your story is so fascinating! Also heartwarming to hear about your awesome childhood! And yes I broke my mother's heart as a teen. 😢 If only I could go back and do things differently. Will be looking forward to the next part!
Sam I was 16 In Canada if You have a full time Job and could take care of Yourself Police can not take You back home..., coming from a very Religious Portuguese family of 9 Children..., I could write a book... but I truly get it... Now 62 and Grandmother of 4..., Thank You for sharing....
😮😢Lord 🙏 mercy on us. Christ have mercy on us.😢😮 This is very interesting because in the church where I gre up, I just remembered that the choir marched in every Sunday morning at 11:00 an to the hymn. "We're Marching to Zion". But we never had anything like this kind of Zion in mind. "Come ye that love the Lord And let your joys be known Join in a song of sweet accord, join in a song of dweet accord. And thus surround the throne. And thus surround the throne." We're marching to, Zion. We're marching to Zion. Beautiful, Butiful Zion We're marching upward to Zion. That Beautiful city of God." Each Sunday for twenty years began our church service with this hymn.😢 My how the world has changed. Lord have mercy. Christ have mercy.
Sam, I realize our stories are different, but we have all made decisions at 18 or 19 years old we would not make later in life. Long story - at 19 years old with one year of college, I got married. At 20 years old, I was a new father, at 21 years old I was a divorced single father, and at 22 years old, I graduated with a Pharmacy degree and had a 15 month old son. When my ex walked out of my life and my son's, her parents walked out too. My son was 12 years old before he met his mother and maternal grandparents not because I kept it from happening but by their choice. My son grew up without a mom and has vertically no relationship with her now, but thankfully does now have a relationship with her parents. He always had a relationship with her siblings and his cousins. I know my parents weren't happy when we married but they never turned their back on me and their 2nd oldest grandson. Twenty three years later and I still feel a certain level of guilt for the hardship I put my parents through especially my mom who traveled 120 miles away from her home to the city where I was attending school, slept on an uncomfortable coach 5 nights a week to care for my son so I could work and finish college to make a life for myself and my son. But as long as your parents are alive there is hope for reconciliation no matter the situation. 😊
It was such a blessing for you to grow up in a very happy family. Thank you for a peek into that religion. Can’t wait for next part of your life story.
I was in the midst of an abusive relationship and I cut my parents off. Got together with that person at age 19 and was raised very conservatively (naively) so I didn’t notice obvious red flags. I am blessed to say my parents are close now and I’m not in that relationship anymore. But it was a long road. 11 years later and I definitely feel the benefits of getting older and wiser. It got easier to forgive myself when I realized the same thing you guys said. I was a kid. I was unprepared. I didn’t think through so many things. I would do it differently now and THAT is what shows growth.
Thank you - thank you for sharing your story with us. I love that you kept the emotions in the video; they are real. You are both amazing people and my prayer/hope is that someday Sam will be able to reconnect with his Mother again.
This was a sweet, special episode. Thank you for sharing. And yes, all adolescents make decisions they regret, and thankfully as you said, the consequences aren’t permanent for most. Your decision was clearly the right one, and unfortunately in your situation the outcome with your mom wouldn’t have changed no matter how you tried to handle it. It’s clear you miss her, and I’m sorry , that has to be so hard.
![Lp. Сердце Вселенной #60 РОЖДЕНИЕ ЛОЛОЛОШКИ [Финал] • Майнкрафт](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/YoR0pAV9FVQ/mqdefault.jpg)
I don't know why, but my favorite part is when Mellissa says we have two awesome kiddos and Sam says we sure do. It's just such a sweet dad moment.
Mine too! Makes me smile ever time. 😊
😊
@@GrowingUpinPolygamy It’s like the comfort of home in my ears and I get sad when on occasion it gets missed 😂
(But don’t stress, I just say it for you 😅)
Love yas!
Me too!
Yay. I had a baby at seventeen and was married before that.
Sam, I could listen to you speak of your life all day. What an incredible couple with a beautiful mission. ❤
Thank you so much! 😊❤️
I came to say the same thing! I love this podcast and really enjoy Sam telling of his life, thanks for sharing Sam
Would you please write a book about your life!
He sounds like a robot/AI
@@melinatedthinka8210 That's very much YOUR belief.
Melissa, don't ever think that every time you feel emotional, you need to cut that part out of the video. This shows how real you are!
Thank you! ❤️
I was 17 when I became pregnant with my daughter. My decision to continue with my pregnancy was at odds with my family (who I blindly thought were wonderful) In disagreeing to terminate my pregnancy they wiped their hands of me. 28 yrs later that baby is still the best decision I’ve ever made in my life and being her mother is my greatest blessing. Life is interesting and families are complicated but all we can aim for is to do better than the family we came from😊
I got married at 18. I know I wasn't prepared. Fortunately we've made it 42 years but honestly the struggle has been real. My daughter waited until her education was finished and had lived independently for some time and married at 25. She is a much better parent and confident woman and wife because of her brain being fully developed.
I got married at 18. I had no choice. It was a matter of survival. I didnt even know who I was yet, but a year later, I was someone's mom, and then had 3 more. It was a long time before I realized who I was, who I am.
I grew up in a very religious Christian home. My Dad was a Southern Baptist minister and was very strict. So, when I went away to college, it was like I was finally free. And I did things that hurt my parents badly. Once I left home, I never went back. But, I knew, in the back of my mind, that if I HAD gone back, they would welcome me with open arms. I'm so sorry that you didn't have that same feeling, Sam. My heart goes out to you AND your mother.
I am so impressed by Sam's grace, forgiveness, and dignity as he talks about his childhood. And Melissa's support and love shines through everything. Thank you for providing the kind of insight and understanding we all need to live together.
34:03 Your empathy is probably your greatest strength, Melissa. You are so intelligent and you have so many wonderful qualities. But your highly-developed emotional intelligence makes you perfect to interview such a wide variety of people. ❤️
Thank you so much! ❤️
I clicked on this as soon as I saw it arrive online. I've always wondered what your personal story was Sam. Thanks so much for sharing it. I also started to tear up a bit at the end.. My daughters are 19 and almost 18 and they are in no way ready to make such life altering decisions as you did. It's evident that overall things worked out for you for the best, but I'm sure there's been heartbreak too for the family you left behind. I'll be waiting for the next part of the series!
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“I knew more about the world than I think I was supposed to know.”
That HIT me.
The end of the video is so emotional, and I’m just sending much love to you both tonight. Melissa, you’re 100% right. It’s so developmentally normal to say things to our parents and families at that age while trying to go out into the world, but more often than not the consequences don’t add up to never seeing/speaking to them again.
One thing I will say as a longtime subscriber is that comparing the beginning videos to this one isn’t only a difference in sound quality. The amount and depth of personal growth is just so authentic and beautiful. The beginning videos have a lot of both of you smiling even while you’re talking through some heart wrenching moments, but today there were a million different feelings on the screen at once. Even though im just one random person on the internet, I’m so proud of you both for that ❤️
Thank you so much!❤️
I'm so glad you didn't leave that last part out. I've been following you guys for quite a while and I saw the original videos. The way you guys handle and speak about stuff has changed and I think you're getting better.
You used to be very neutral when speaking and clearly trying to be super respectful, but you lost so much soul. But now when you let yourselves out more, it lets us feel the emotion a bit more. That was beautiful. Sam's heart and wish to go back and show his mother his love. Melissa, your empathy is beautiful. This was a really good episode guys. Can't wait for next week!
Thank you so much!! ❤️❤️
I'm also glad you leave the emotional parts in. Talking about these topics and life experiences is emotional. You're human, that's why I love your perspectives. ❤
y'all's mormon story is one of my favorites. i've watched it at least 2 or 3 times! but even all those hours still didn't seem like enough to fit the whole story 😂i'm glad you guys are using your own platform to take your time on this deep dive 💖
Thank you! ❤️
Seeing how Sam's story impacted Melissa, bringing her to tears, and the love in his eyes when he was looking at her is real life relationship goals. Honestly you both found your soulmate, and its so nice to see! Much love to you both
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Can't wait for the rest of the story. And yes, Melissa, at 18 I moved in with a guy that my mom "approved" of, but had no clue he was physically and emotionally abusive. I escaped that nightmare relationship and ended up living briefly with my brother until I met my husband.
I was hoping you guys would do a long form, much deeper talk about Sam's experiences with polygamy. I'm so glad that you are both open to talking about all of your experiences. I would love to hear more from both of you about your experiences leaving the LDS and all the doubt surrounding it.
You're both right by the way, it's still a walkman. It's just called a CD Walkman specifically.
Check out their interview on Mormon Stories Podcast.
@@evansjessicae I did!
@@evansjessicaewhat's that link?
Thanks!
Love these guys!
As for Melissa's question at the end... I was also 18 when I went to (catholic) church for the last time, and JUST like Sam, if you'd have told me that morning that my life was going to change that night, I wouldn't have believed you. It all was SO quick for me too. But HONESTLY it was the first step in the RIGHT direction. Sam would have never met you if he hadn't left that night. I made a lot of stupid decisions in my youth, but that wasn't one of them. Even though yes, it broke my mother's heart.
Thank you for sharing your story Sam. The funny thing is that you describe a childhood that is very much thought to be the ideal scenario by many psychologists (a supportive community, many playmates, lots of opportunity to play without adult supervision and direction), with the very important exception that as you got older, there wasn't a lot of free choice. There's even a particular group of psychologists who believe (with a great deal of supporting research) that by having much less directed education and much more play time, kids can do immense learning, including learning critical thinking skills that just can't be taught by a textbook in a school setting. I know you've mentioned not feeling very smart after you left because of your lack of formal education, but I see it from a very different perspective. I think that you learned things and in a more natural way than most kids today get the opportunity to, simply because school hours are too long with too little play time. Obviously you have become a well educated and capable adult, and I'm so sorry that it has also meant losing your relationship with many of your family members.
I’m always amazed that Sam can speak about such difficult things without a hint of bitterness in his voice.
I don’t think he’s bitter at all but I agree with you totally. I think he got lucky and was in a loving family. He saw a side to it than many unfortunately never see. Many never have much love and I’m so glad his family had that
It’s because he’s not bitter. His family was fine, he loved his mother and siblings and felt lucky.
💯
He’s a Pure Spirit🙏💙
@@mandarinfox1813More bitter because of being shunned by his family than what he actually experienced
Melissa getting all emotional made me cry. My heart breaks for Sam's mother and Sam as well. To answer Melissa's question . Many many times but I think now that I'm older . Those decisions are what made me today and I like who I am today. We may regret how we done things but it all lead us to who we are today ❤
Yes you two. Great job. As a born and raised Roman Catholic I left the faith after getting married to a non practicing Christian. I’ve often struggled with the lack of religion in my life since but carried on and raised three wonderful children as I was raised to the best of my ability. Religion is such a deep subject that isn’t much discussed in western Canada anymore due to the fact that there are so many different sides to the subject. Not unlike politics. Both subjects can be so divisive that they are NOT SUBJECTS TO BE DISCUSSED in ANY forum anymore. At least here in Canada. We don’t tell people anywhere at anytime of our religious or political affiliations. It just isn’t polite conversation. Me and fellow Canadians often find Americans quite eye opening when we travel south about the openness on these subjects. I suppose that explains why Canadians are often considered by Americans as being “nice”. We have learned how not to ruin family and other events by not discussing either subject. I so enjoy listing to your video podcasts as a child of God learning how the other half lives their lives in this very complicated world. It helps me realize that everyone is the same and we all have the same hopes and dreams for our families and futures the world over. All the best to you both and I will impatiently wait for your next episode.
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Hi Sam and Melissa, I really enjoyed today's video. I got a little teary at the end so I send virtual hugs from all the way down here in New Zealand ❤
I also want to add that I made awful decisions as a teenager and I probably did hurt my parents sometimes but I always knew there was unconditional love and support for us. I'm not saying Sam wasnt loved, but just that being a part of our home wasnt conditional upon a specific spiritual belief system. It makes me incredibly sad for both the kids who leave and for the parents left behind. I cant imagine not seeing my children again, thats got to be the most painful thing anyone could do. But then I get a bit angry at the leaders for forcing these rules upon their followers resulting in the destruction of families
I’m a kiwi too ❤❤❤
Melissa, I am so glad you left your emotion in at the end of the video. Thank you for being so vulnerable.
You two are lovely. Thank you for sharing. It sounds like your father is a good man. You communicate very well that polygamy is not a fair system, but you are a very fortunate man that your father was the man he is in that system.
I love this so so much! I've been following you both for years, but it's so nice to see it all in one video. I grew up in a faction of catholicism that my mom used to tell us all the time that we were special and different, and the world was wicked but we weren't. So I get that.
The thing that is blowing my mind the most is all the lies. How Sam and his brothers would concoct a story as to how one got injured or how he was told to tell people he was 16 or 18 when he was 13. I never lied. Lying was a sin... a big sin. It wouldn't have even crossed my mind to lie.
The bedroom set story made me laugh. I bought a very expensive bedroom set at 16 too. Nicer than anything my parents had. I’m 68 and still have the same bedroom furniture. Your story is so incredible. I can’t imagine the bravery it took to leave the FLDS.
Thank you so so much for posting this video. I got married for the first time at 18. That was part of the downward spiral for my relationship with my dad. Now at the age of 34 I have not spoken to my dad in almost 3 years. We weren’t an FLDS family but my dad is a minister. There are a lot of “skeletons” that my father refuses to deal with. I have not had any contact with any member of my father’s side of the family in years. As hard as it is, I wouldn’t change it for the world.
I'm old enough probably to be your mum, both of you. I'm just saying your parents should be proud of you both for being such lovely genuine people. Between 16 and seventeen, I started college, left college left home went to work hated that came home did a community college course and finally went back to college again and that took me 2 years to settle in. My poor folks putting up with my immature tearful self young indecisive and not knowing how lucky I was. I did appreciate their support eventually. As one of three my parents were great at listening and encouraging us in all we did. I eventually got my degree several diplomas and worked at various things but never was more proud than when I saw both parents as adults who didn't grow up with much both getting to graduate as adults from university. Both put a high emphasis on education on reading and also music was huge in our family. So I see I've been very priviledged and also both parents had strong faith but never forced it on us especially as we grew older and marriages broke down or non faith members and 2nd partners were welcomed with open minds and hearts. They were together for almost 63 years and passed within 17months of each other. It was my priviledge to care for them. To have had such a special upbringing by such a great couple I can so much more appreciate now looking at the world of polygamy via Sam's eyes. Your kids I'm sure will appreciate the new world you both have given them. Blessings to you all.🎉 cc
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Sam thank you for speaking of your life. I’m glad you guys are doing this in longform. U2 are a great couple.❤
Sending you guys so much love! I am so glad you decided to do this interview. You two are so beautiful. It's good to know that your 2 kiddos will never be banned from returning home. Breaking toxic family cycles is a wonderful place to be and overcome. Proud of both of you!
I made the decision to get married at 17 years old. We were raised in completely different cultures. I was a preacher's granddaughter and he was an alcoholic's son. What a culture shock! We stayed married for 20 years and had three children but he was chronically unemployed and I became the primary breadwinner and had to act as my husband's mother. By year 17, I was more tired than I'd ever been and couldn't take it any more. I remarried 4 years later. He and I were more matched and have been together for over 30 years and so happy! Your story is so heartbreaking. I'm glad you found out that most of us "gentiles" are good people.
This is so similar to my story. Married young, chronic unemployment, mix in mental illness and heavy drinking mixed with psychiatric medications, I had completely given up hope on life by age 25. I gave up hope on becoming a mother because my husband needed me to be his mother. Thankful that I decided to get out despite the anger and disappointment of my parents. Im in my 30s with my perfect match now. I'm happy and sad for both of us.
When I was 18 I started College, and Had a VA grant, Which made it possible for me to move out. I decided and found a place in 2 days. But after about 8 months I ended up so overwhelmed with work, and school that I dropped out and ended up in my Mothers living room begging her to move back home. I was lucky, she said yes, but on the condition that I either went back to school, or found a full time job. So grateful that the consciences of my decision were not so major.
Thank you for sharing, Sam! I appreciate both of you showing your vulnerability. It was brave for Sam to leave like that but so heartbreaking for his mom and siblings. I had my oldest son at 17. My mom kicked me out and I had to navigate the world on my own, yet enrolled in college full-time, got an apartment, worked two part-time jobs, and figured out childcare, student loans and public assistance. It was nice to hear the positives about growing up FLDS. It's funny. My youngest son, age 13, thinks life must've been awful and incredibly boring for me to grow up without smartphones or the Internet (I am 55). It was actually great, a simpler life I am grateful to have experienced.
This episode was wonderful, and I look forward to learning more about your lives in future videos! I definitely relate to making decisions I didn't really understand at 18. I was sheltered, naive, and too trusting. I got into situations I didn't know weren't safe and sadly ended up being SAed. I was legally an adult once I turned 18, but I was still just a girl who didn't know any better.
If you had some trauma, of a different nature than what Sam had, these types of stories are both healing and interesting to listen to, at the same time. By talking about what he went through, and educating others about the FLDS, Sam also helps others heal. Looking forward to Part 2.
It is a such awesome story, I grew up St. George and I stopped to go LDS church when I was about 12 years old and knew both FLDS and LDS was conflicted. My parents were upset with me.. My mom tried to tell me about FLDS and don't make sense to me.. Thank you for your awesome shared!
Sam and Melissa! This was so good! Can’t wait for the rest. Sam, being 63 myself. Yes at 16 I rebelled. I was on my own at 16. Yes there are things I wish I either hadn’t done or said. But I’m the better person for being who I am today. Don’t say I wish I had or could have done. You two are a amazing couple and I admire you both! To be perfectly honest I don’t know one family in some way or fashion that’s the “Perfect” Family. I’m so glad you had great family support growing up. That’s huge in itself. Nothing stays the same. Nothing. At 61 I finally got to close the door and open a new door. That’s with what I lived with while growing up. Long time... (but this had to do with step family for me) no specific church will get you in heaven. It’s your personal relationship with God that does. ✝️😁👋🏼💞
Thank you! 😊
My 13 year old son is 6’ tall! 😊❤ Sam you are so kind. You spoke about your father pointing out the good in people he’d meet- I think you share this trait with him. 😊
I left home at 15/16 yrs old & moved out. I left due to my parents putting a lot of parental demands on me when it came to my sister & little brother I was raising them. My mom worked & my dad that raised me was in a rehab facility due to him becoming unable to walk do to a prior injury to his spine. I didn’t have the knowledge in my teenage brain at that time to understand how much that was a hard time for my family all I cared about was my friends, a dumb boyfriend etc. I became a mom a month before my 19th birthday, he changed my world & I went bk to college. It brought my parents & I closer together after yrs of not talking.
When I was 17 I had to have heart surgery that was very unexpected.. I was in the hospital for over a month with my parents there by my side through it all. The night I finally was released from the hospital all I wanted to do was go to my boyfriends house but since I was just released from the hospital my parents did not want me going anywhere. I put on a big fight with my parents about it until it ended with yelling and me saying some hurtful things and walking out of the house slamming the door behind me and went to my boyfriend’s house against their wishes. I’m 30 now and still to this day wish I didn’t act in such a way and know I hurt my parents by acting that way especially after all they just went through watching their daughter have heart surgery… thankfully though I did have a home to go back to and a forgiving family that loved me endlessly. I feel for you Sam ❤ and for your mom and wish she understood.
When I was 18 years old, my parents bought me a truck full of new furniture, loaded up my belongings, and rented an apartment a few states away so I could go to beauty school. I’d never really been away from home so was very homesick. I made multiple bad decisions but eventually landed on my feet. I’ve now been married for almost 40 years and have a wonderful family.
Your thumbnail baby pic is so adorable. So sad you had to go through this and you seem to have become a great man. Many blessings for your family. 🖤
Thank you! ❤️
I may not have grown up in a high demand religion, but I did have a high demand family situation. I chose to leave at 17, not realizing that meant that I would be officially on my own for life. Even when my dad got dementia and I went home to care for him and do his hospice care, I was always treated as the help. Eventually, I had to choose to no longer engage since the continued trauma was just too much. I am so glad that you two have each other and such a beautiful family together!
Sam, There have been troubled times with my daughter. But, she always had a home with me. ❤❤ I know through your experiences, you have become a wonderful person, husband and Father. There are always decisions we regret. But, the only thing to do is move forward. I hope your Mother wakes up and realizes God blessed her with a wonderful Son and He wouldn't want her to shut him out of her life. Sending my love ❤
Thank you for sharing your story. Very interesting. Kudos for having the courage to be vulnerable and share that convo with your mom. As a mom with a 20 year old, I cried for your mom and for you. I cannot imagine never seeing my child again. Hugs.
This is definitely my favorite video you have done. Thank you for sharing your story so in depth and being raw and vulnerable. You are a great storyteller and had me laughing out loud and tearing up. Can’t wait for the next video.
Thank you so much!! ❤️
OMG, I was getting so curious about your story, Sam - that I was going to go back through the years of your channel to see if you had talked about your life! And here you are, telling us! Wow! I really can’t wait to hear more!
What an incredible story. Thank you for sharing with us, Sam. Hugs to you both, and your mom!
I had a situation around 17 years old. I made the decisions I did and I know it hurt my mom. But it was absolutely something that I had to do with my life at that time. Despite the life choices I had made, my mom has always been on my side and she’s one of my best friends. I’m very grateful for her support and understanding so many years later.
Melissa, you never have to apologize for being emotional and vulnerable. ❤
Looking forward to the next episode.
I loved listening to your story. My heart aches for your Mom and siblings, but it's absolutely understandable!! I'm LDS and I I know that the history of our church it's not perfect, but I I believe in the Restoration as Joseph taught, and I'm learning that he and his family opposed and fought against the practice of polygamy. Never really understood much about the FLDS or any other branches that came from the LDS church, so I'm glad I've found you to learn more, listening to your stories and history. I love the respectful way you speak about everything, even about the people that were not so good, and of your kindness and love towards your parents. Thank you for sharing! God bless you both and your families!!
You two have great qualities -and such a great couple …love you guys!
Thanks so much!!
I'm glad you're doing this again! I discovered your channel back in the very early days when you were sharing personal stories.
I was a teenaged Mom. I’m 52 years old with a 35 and 30 year old Sons. I wasn’t prepared but, I wouldn’t change a thing. My Grandson is my heart. ♥️ You two are teaching me a lot. I do wish Sam’s Mom could still have a relationship with him. My Mom heart breaks for her too.
I have been watching this channel from the beginning and never get tired of hearing sams story. Also I just love seeing the old pictures, Sam you were such an adorable child.
I just found your channel. I loved listening to both of you. The end, though, made me tear up. The love you have for each other shines through. ❤
Awwh I’m so excited to watch this ❤ I’ve been sharing your channel with others 😊
Thank you! ❤️
This is going to be such a powerful series. Boundaries are hard no matter who sets them especially with family. I’ve had to set boundaries at a young age and it was hard. When you look back and realize what you did was for the better your heart can heal. I’m glad you are free from that situation and hope some day you can talk to your mother.
I’m a rather new subscriber, I grew up happily in the complete absence of religion and programming and was simply taught kindness, respect and compassion, lots of compassion and a basic right vrs wrong mentality, FLDS , LDS and Mormon religion is fascinating and sad in many aspects, I never grew up with fear of hell or damnation I can’t imagine my parents trying to instill a type of fear in our lives instead of security and freedom that we had that being said, you are the most interesting and quickly became my favorite channel on UA-cam! The difference in religion and non religious beliefs is fascinating yet to me , religion always comes off as slightly evil, twisted and simply brainwashing which I now see in most religions and politics! I’m great full to be on the outside looking in and to have strong critical thinking skills that weren’t twisted! Can’t wait to see all the shows you have coming up ! I absolutely adore the 2 of you ! Great character! Great personalities! I’m amazed at what you have deprogrammed and hope you continue to progress!
I’ve seen most of your videos, but I still loved the first part of Sam’s story. This is definitely more in depth and together.
Melissa, I’m actually glad you didn’t cut the part of your momma heart going out to Sam and his mother. It’s ok to cry and be vulnerable. Religion aside, I think Sam’s mommas would be so incredibly proud to have you as a daughter.
I loved loved this story, looking forward to the rest of the series ❤
Yes, absolutely. I cried over Sam's story, too. Not fundamentalist Mormon but born into polygamy. Did not see siblings born to the other mother for over 40 years. Happily reunited. I hope Sam is someday, too, with his mom.
Many parts of Sams story was moving. But getting to the part when Melissa is so raw had me bawling. I also moved out at 17/18 and was completely cut off. I still don't have a great relationship with my dad. One thing I will say it has made me a better parent and I can tell Sam is a better person. Just because their faith says you won't be together in the afterlife, doesnt mean yours does. You are both incredible people and are touching millions with your hearts of gold. ❤
Thank you! ❤️
I’ve followed your stories for months now and yet I learned so much. What a childhood Sam! Can’t wait to hear the next phase. Mellisa, you did a great job leading through the questions.
Thank you!
I watched your incredibly moving video about your childhood. After giving this a great deal of thought, I will have to say that, yes, we sometimes make grave decisions that can be hurtful when 18 years old. But, had you not said goodbye and turned your phone off, your Mother would have probably been able to convince you to come back home and your life would be very, very different now. So sometimes there is a reason and a rationale to impulsive decisions Unfortunately, that doesn't ease the often painful consequences. I will say, that none of this was your fault or your Mother's fault, but the real result of belonging to high demand religions that require loyalty to a prophet rather than to family. You a good person Sam.
Thank you so so much! ❤️
I've listened to your story many, I mean many times on Mormon Stories Podcast but loved this because it gets much more in depth. Can't wait for the other parts.
Thank you! ❤️
So here for this series! I think this is quite noble & vulnerable, and hearing it all together from the people you are today is a new level of beauty through pain. It is utterly tragic that the roots of FLDS run so deep that a mother can’t see any way she could possibly break the rules for the attachment to her children - like from the outside, we all know that she CAN have her family. But she is locked in such a mind prison that this is the path she felt was the only way.
The hardships you both have endured are real and enduring. But being out allowed you to chart a future & live a life that any parent truly wants for their child. Again, it’s tragic that she may not be able to see that. But I hope someday she will.
18 is still just a kid in so many ways. Separating from parents is a normal developmental behavior, just like all the other stages you see your own kids going through now. You didn’t do anything wrong by wanting to find your own way out of the insanity of Warren Jeffs.
I am hopeful that you guys are building bridges for FLDS & other cult leavers through sharing your stories and walking out this path.
Melissa: You don’t need to apologize when you get emotional, nor should you ever feel you need to. Everyone understands where you are coming from, and knows it comes from the heart. Just let your emotions take you wherever they go.
Now THIS is the story I've been waiting to hear from the beginning! I did watch your MSP episode when it came out and loved it; but this seems much more intimate. Plus I love all the little stories and details you added in today. Thank you, Sam, for your vulnerability!
Sam, thank you for your account on leaving. It made me cry. I originally began watching your UA-cam channel for your SW reviews and stumbled into your history by accident. I am thankful you feel you had a happy childhood and am saddened that you felt you had to leave your mom and dad.
Oh gosh, yes. I had a HUGE fight with my parents at 18, left that night, got pregnant a few months later and then got married! All before I fixed things with my family. I’m very thankful to say that today my husband and I have an amazing marriage and 4 very wonderful kiddos, and my parents ended up being some of our very best friends, but boy oh boy; you do not have a CLUE what life is about at 18. I told both my girls when they turned 18 to never never never get married just because they were pregnant…that even though my husband and I survived, it was a ROUGH road for many years--one that we really made harder on ourselves by getting married so young. We even divorced for 2 years before we remarried (each other). We very clearly needed time to grow up, and at 18 that maturity just is not there.
Love hearing your story in even more depth than you have shared before. Of course most of us made decisions and said things in our youth that we thought we were confident about, but later realized how we were not mature/wise enough to make the best decisions. As Melissa said, most of us did not have the same consequences that you did. We were given the grace to learn how to navigate the world armed with soft landing pads for when we fell short. It is sad that some communities do not allow that. I suppose it made you very self-sufficient very quickly, but at such a high price.
I'm so glad that in all the chaos, you two found each other
Long time listener here. Just LOVE this channel! You both have come a long way in your lives and as content creators! Keep up the great work ❤
Thank you for sharing your story with us! Before I was 18 I tested my parents often. Luckily for me, because of my family culture, I had A LOT of room to test the boundaries as I discovered the world.
As a 52 year old Mother of two girls, I can't imagine having to disconnect from my children based on the teachings of someone other than me! I was raised in a religious family but the 'family Law' was set by my Mum.
I only have 4 siblings but my parents were the most amazing teachers.
I didn't even know we were poorer than others until I was an adult because my childhood was so wonderful.
I know that you both are creating a beautiful world for your children, not because a prophet told you how, because you're both amazing humans ❤❤❤❤
Sam describes his childhood so vividly, thank you so much! ❤
I appreciate so much you sharing (and labeling) these photos with us!!!
I can't wait to hear about how y'all met ❤❤❤
Those tears that Melissa sheds must be bitter sweet... For if Sam had not headed down that path that day... There would be "two awesome kiddos" that wouldn't exist today. It's hard to cry those tears knowing the beauty that came from that loss. Not to negate the loss, but to embrace both the loss and the beauty that came after takes courage and strength. I no longer share my mother's faith... and that has been heartbreaking for her, because it is her whole world. But my mother still can spend time with me and have a relationship with me. I am so grateful that her religion doesn't ask her to kick me to the curb. It makes me angry that your mother's religion asked that of her. I'm not angry at your mother, because like my mom, she was given a narrative that she embraced as truth. I am angry that the leaders and the doctrine holders elevate the religion ahead of family. Thank you for sharing your heart and your story, Sam.
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Sam and Mellissa thank you, though I've heard you tell your story before, this was so special thank you Sam. Mellissa, You such a wonderful job 0f interviewing Sam. The two of you have a fabulous loving relationship and a wonderful Family. i was blessed with a wonderful wife and we were married in Cardston Temple. She passed away over 3 years ago. We finally stopped going to the Church. I often think we didn't leave the church it left us.
Thank you so much! 😊
Oh Sam, what sweet pictures - what sweet faces. I keep stopping the film so that I can take a good look at all of you. Precious!!
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My mom heart also always breaks every time I’ve heard Sam mention the phone call with his mom the night he left. I cried with Melissa on that part and thank my lucky stars that I grew up in a space where my parents said their home would always be open and my home no matter what. I strive everyday to offer that to my young son, knowing full well that I’ll have the joy and pain of watching him grow into his own person with his own thoughts, experiences, and opinions. Don’t get me wrong, there were times when my decisions as a young person were incredibly painful to my parents and they fully disagreed, but I recognize now what a gift they gave all of us kids to go out and live our lives and make our choices and always be a soft place with open arms to land if we needed it. My heart breaks to think of all the children in the world who didn’t have that soft place, and all the parents who for religious or whatever reasons may have wanted so much to offer that and ultimately weren’t able to.
Love the Chase Adventures map behind you! Sam you are always so interesting to listen to. Love this deep dive!
Sam - you are a good kind man. You so obviously love your family and although you have some regrets on how things happened its obvious how strong and happy you are with your choices.
Enjoy listening to your story. Very much ! Very in lighting. Thank you
Your story is so fascinating! Also heartwarming to hear about your awesome childhood! And yes I broke my mother's heart as a teen. 😢 If only I could go back and do things differently. Will be looking forward to the next part!
So human, so carefully described for us to try to grasp the ramifications. So brave of you both
Sharing tears with both of you❤ looking forward to next episode of Sam’s Journey.
Sam I was 16 In Canada if You have a full time Job and could take care of Yourself Police can not take You back home..., coming from a very Religious Portuguese family of 9 Children..., I could write a book... but I truly get it... Now 62 and Grandmother of 4..., Thank You for sharing....
😮😢Lord 🙏 mercy on us. Christ have mercy on us.😢😮
This is very interesting because in the church where I gre up, I just remembered that the choir marched in every Sunday morning at 11:00 an to the hymn. "We're Marching to Zion". But we never had anything like this kind of Zion in mind.
"Come ye that love the Lord
And let your joys be known
Join in a song of sweet accord, join in a song of dweet accord.
And thus surround the throne.
And thus surround the throne."
We're marching to, Zion.
We're marching to Zion.
Beautiful, Butiful Zion
We're marching upward to Zion.
That Beautiful city of God."
Each Sunday for twenty years began our church service with this hymn.😢
My how the world has changed. Lord have mercy. Christ have mercy.
Sam, I realize our stories are different, but we have all made decisions at 18 or 19 years old we would not make later in life. Long story - at 19 years old with one year of college, I got married. At 20 years old, I was a new father, at 21 years old I was a divorced single father, and at 22 years old, I graduated with a Pharmacy degree and had a 15 month old son. When my ex walked out of my life and my son's, her parents walked out too. My son was 12 years old before he met his mother and maternal grandparents not because I kept it from happening but by their choice. My son grew up without a mom and has vertically no relationship with her now, but thankfully does now have a relationship with her parents. He always had a relationship with her siblings and his cousins. I know my parents weren't happy when we married but they never turned their back on me and their 2nd oldest grandson.
Twenty three years later and I still feel a certain level of guilt for the hardship I put my parents through especially my mom who traveled 120 miles away from her home to the city where I was attending school, slept on an uncomfortable coach 5 nights a week to care for my son so I could work and finish college to make a life for myself and my son.
But as long as your parents are alive there is hope for reconciliation no matter the situation. 😊
It was such a blessing for you to grow up in a very happy family. Thank you for a peek into that religion. Can’t wait for next part of your life story.
I was in the midst of an abusive relationship and I cut my parents off. Got together with that person at age 19 and was raised very conservatively (naively) so I didn’t notice obvious red flags.
I am blessed to say my parents are close now and I’m not in that relationship anymore. But it was a long road. 11 years later and I definitely feel the benefits of getting older and wiser.
It got easier to forgive myself when I realized the same thing you guys said. I was a kid. I was unprepared. I didn’t think through so many things. I would do it differently now and THAT is what shows growth.
Thank you - thank you for sharing your story with us. I love that you kept the emotions in the video; they are real. You are both amazing people and my prayer/hope is that someday Sam will be able to reconnect with his Mother again.
Thank you so much!! ❤️
We all have unique quirks that stem from our upbringing and I would love to hear some of Sam's quirks that come from being raised in FLDS!
This was a sweet, special episode. Thank you for sharing. And yes, all adolescents make decisions they regret, and thankfully as you said, the consequences aren’t permanent for most. Your decision was clearly the right one, and unfortunately in your situation the outcome with your mom wouldn’t have changed no matter how you tried to handle it. It’s clear you miss her, and I’m sorry , that has to be so hard.
Sam, thank you for sharing your story. I think you and Melissa are great!
I'm so excited for this series!!!
So touching, thank you both.
Thank you for your story.
I am extremely surprised that your pay did not have to go directly into your parent's hands.
Thank you for sharing, Sam. This is a beautiful video.
Wow, this is so different than my upbringing!!! Thank you Sam, for sharing your story! I can't wait to hear more!