Eating Disorders (Talking to Parents & Friends)

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  • Опубліковано 11 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 89

  • @AmandaGenineMusic
    @AmandaGenineMusic 11 років тому +209

    my parents didn't acknowledge I had a problem bc I wasn't underweight. They completely shrugged it off. I've now been trying to "recover" for 3 years on my own and I still feel like I've gotten nowhere

    • @mold7581
      @mold7581 5 років тому +15

      Omg me too i thought that I was the only one recovering on my own. Wow I’m literally 5 years to late with my reaction but I hope we maybe can talk or something ( if you want to of course)

    • @Mirah-Fthehuman
      @Mirah-Fthehuman 5 років тому

      Same here I’ve bin trying to get better for a year and every time I think I’m getting somewhere I’m set back to square one. My family thinks that people that have Ed or cut are just selfish.

    • @weberholt
      @weberholt 4 роки тому +3

      Ive been recovering since 5th grade

  • @shilohwillis-authorofpromi5158
    @shilohwillis-authorofpromi5158 5 років тому +54

    When my eating disorder started at age14, nobody found out. It was a vicious cycle of starvation, eating a little then purging with ipecac. My parents found out by accident when I was 18. I was immediately kicked out of the house. To this day, nearly 17 years later I still struggle bad. 😢😢😢

    • @shilohwillis-authorofpromi5158
      @shilohwillis-authorofpromi5158 4 роки тому +3

      I sure did. 😞

    • @shilohwillis-authorofpromi5158
      @shilohwillis-authorofpromi5158 4 роки тому +3

      @, im a bit better. I still struggle pretty bad but not quite as bad as I did then. It's hard staying on a healthy path but I'm doing my best.

    • @meowglab7702
      @meowglab7702 4 роки тому +3

      What the fuck is wrong with them??? I’m sorry that’s so awful

    • @ana2.7bela65
      @ana2.7bela65 3 роки тому +6

      @@shilohwillis-authorofpromi5158 what why would they kick you out for having an eating disorder? I’m so sorry

  • @Harajukubarbie333
    @Harajukubarbie333 6 років тому +117

    I wish i could go to a therapist

    • @nevaliyilik3562
      @nevaliyilik3562 4 роки тому +5

      Me too

    • @isaacdavis2205
      @isaacdavis2205 4 роки тому +6

      Same, I told my mom I made myself throw up food, and she kinda did nothing

    • @seyyyheheheh9659
      @seyyyheheheh9659 3 роки тому +4

      @@isaacdavis2205 i did to. my parents said they didn’t believe me it’s been almost a year since i told them and it’s gotten worse i think i may ask again for help soon

    • @Harajukubarbie333
      @Harajukubarbie333 3 роки тому +1

      I did have a therapist for a few months and I stopped but I finally am getting help for my ed

  • @sukybasasavage1229
    @sukybasasavage1229 3 роки тому +8

    Guys go through this too don't feel bad you're only hearing "her" we acknowledge your struggle as well.

    • @Ill-think-of-something-later
      @Ill-think-of-something-later 2 роки тому +2

      This comment is so sweet, and made me feel much better. Thank you.

    • @PaulHosey-u3l
      @PaulHosey-u3l Місяць тому

      Pretty used to the stigma anyway so I really don't care but that was a nice thought

  • @Sophia-oz9wn
    @Sophia-oz9wn 5 років тому +7

    I am so thankful to you, 'cause I just talked with my mother and told her that I have an eating disorder. I don't Know what I would have done without you. You motivated me to get better and I can't even describe how greatful I am for that.

  • @passion76pj37
    @passion76pj37 4 роки тому +8

    Thank you so much for this video, I've moved back home and my folks really don't understand.

  • @TheRobotjellybean
    @TheRobotjellybean 5 років тому +26

    I tried to show my parents this video and they wouldn't even watch it, it took a lot for me to even share the link. I tell them that they are not helping my mental situation and they tell me to grow up and stop blaming them for my problems. I dont know what to do, only way I'm making it is by reminding my self every morning why I need to continue on. Everyday I notice myself becoming a more mean, cold, emotionally distant, and hateful person. I hate myself for it.

    • @yosoylarey
      @yosoylarey 4 роки тому +1

      I just went through the exact same thing.

  • @mjgrondines7486
    @mjgrondines7486 12 років тому +13

    This video is really great! I really like what you said about not hounding about the food - because its the emotions behind it all.

  • @ajitn001
    @ajitn001 10 років тому +62

    I'm almost positive that I have an eying disorder but I don't want to tell my parents because I know that they would be mad at me and whenever I have discussed eating disorders with my parents (just out of interest to find out their views) they say that it is just silly girls that are desperate to lose weight and they say that it is a 'first world problem' what should I do?

    • @elisealiviah7551
      @elisealiviah7551 5 років тому +3

      how are u now?

    • @Gold-sf1kq
      @Gold-sf1kq 4 роки тому +5

      You should speak up about it, talk about it *loud and clear* how u think about their thoughts on eating disorders and absolutely tell them that you have a eating disorder too and they are bad parents if they cant understand its a problem and that you need to see a docter, i remeber when nobody in my family listened to me so then one day i basically shouted and didnt let a single one of them speak if they tried to i would just be like no 'but' no 'but' no 'but' no 'but' no you are listening to me' no mater whether is was my parents dont be afriad to speak up to your elders even they have to learn 'respect your young ones in order for them to respect you back'

  • @VivianaCalmasini
    @VivianaCalmasini 12 років тому +1

    I agree on all points. It is true that saying that you have an eating disorder makes things a lot easier - in my experience, people stopped questioning me about food and that took away much anxiety about dealing with any situation with food involved. What happened, however, is that they also stopped talking about the problem: no questions about food, but also no questions about the eating disorder. And I felt abandoned. You are so right when you say that it is important to keep talking about it.

  • @meemew_02
    @meemew_02 8 років тому +15

    I've been suffering with an eating disorder since 2013, when a boy cornered me in class and told me over and over that I was fat. I never received help and my parents seemed to do everything wrong. I'm in college now and have been fighting by myself for almost a year now. But now that I'm in college, living in a dorm, I've just fell back into it. I feel like I have no one to talk to and it was a dark time in our family. I feel like I'll just bring everyone down. I don't know what to do anymore.

  • @likeolikehinmygut
    @likeolikehinmygut 12 років тому +3

    The point is, I had so much I needed to talk about, like my hidden eating disorder and bad things that were happening. I got angry and went completely silent during session and eventually they gave up and I got smart about hiding things. Over a decade later I still can't imagine ever talking to them about anything. I think they meant well, but it was the worst time ever and it could have been so different.

  • @smileyatme4254
    @smileyatme4254 11 років тому +33

    Hi,
    Two of my closet friends have eD and one of them is also cutting with another one of my friends. Do you think you could do a video on how to act around friends with disorders like the dos and donts. i really care about them and I don't want to say the wrong thing and trigger them. Also my friends with EDs ask me a lot of questions about their weight and if they are skinny. What do i say????

    • @charlotte8659
      @charlotte8659 4 роки тому +4

      Don’t say anything, just say you don’t want to comment on it. Or say I don’t think about your weight, I just see you as a great friend x

  • @rosaliemuller431
    @rosaliemuller431 6 років тому +2

    I really love your channel. You tell things so that they make sense and your voice is so calming. I really like it that you don’t make jumpcuts in your video’s and really take time to explain things further. You know, we can’t pay for a therapist like you and I cried a long time because my parents made me go to the cheapest therapist there is and she was not a good one. I really appreciate that you spend your own time on this and help other people ❤️

  • @slugger91
    @slugger91 8 років тому +12

    I think I have an eating disorder. Im talking this over with my therapists. I am therapy for cutting and the death of my mother. I just don't want my dad to know about my possible eating disorder and worried that my therapists might tell my dad about my purging.

  • @emilymoore6302
    @emilymoore6302 3 роки тому +3

    The reason I don't wanna tell anyone is that I know that they will do all they can to try and make me recover but I'm terrified of recovery and am just not ready. I just wanna tell them so I don't have to hide it around them cause its so tiring and I wanna be able to tell them I'm scared of eating whatever is there at that time

  • @likeolikehinmygut
    @likeolikehinmygut 12 років тому

    I hope a lot of parents watch this, but it's not just food stuff that's sensitive. When I was a kid I was forced to see a therapist when everyone found out I was cutting. Everything was handled terribly, was out of my control, and my parents were out of line how they dealt with things at home. My therapist always met and planned with them while I waited outside of her office.

  • @CB-fq2ye
    @CB-fq2ye 3 роки тому

    God bless you!!

  • @Gold-sf1kq
    @Gold-sf1kq 4 роки тому +2

    From the comment what i have learnt is:
    *you will never recover from a eating disorder without medical/therapist help 👏 👏 👏 👏*
    My advice, do not be afraid to tell your parents, challenge yourself/put fear aside focus on fixing yourself, i havent yet told my parents and i want to now, no matter what i cant recover by myself 😔 wish me luck... tomorrow will be a big day for me

    • @Gold-sf1kq
      @Gold-sf1kq 4 роки тому

      Somebody comment so i can update it

    • @isablue7410
      @isablue7410 3 роки тому

      Heyyy it’s been a while! How are you? How did it go? I am planning on writing a letter to my mum about my ED. Do you think that’s wise? I hope you are doing well! Xx

  • @ivydoesntknowm3240
    @ivydoesntknowm3240 7 років тому +4

    My best friend who I love of course is making me eat this week, breakfast, snack, dinner. And it is so stressful and I can't focus on my school work and I don't want to let her down, but it's a lot and I don't think I can do it anymore it's still only Wednesday and I have to get through Saturday or else she will tell my parents everything I struggle with and I don't think I want help but I do at the same time I just am being forced to do everything so quickly I don't know what to do about it. This video makes me want to talk to my friend and met her know what's going on but I know how she's gonna respond and she's not going to care.

    • @mercedesalba8006
      @mercedesalba8006 5 років тому +1

      Hey, I know this is an old comment but how did it go? I deeply hope you feel better now

  • @windexduh1636
    @windexduh1636 Рік тому +1

    I’ve been struggling with an eating disorder for years and I was doing better but I had a big change recently and now I’m relapsing and I told my mom that I’m scared and she seems like she really doesn’t care

  • @katerinapetrova6
    @katerinapetrova6 11 років тому +1

    i wish i had showed my parents this instead of going to my school counselor. she didn't explain it well to them because she wasn't familiar with the topic so they thought i recovered in a single day and all they did was worry about my reputation in school.

  • @soniczforever5470
    @soniczforever5470 5 років тому +1

    My mother triggers my ED constantly nit picking I dont eat or drink after meeting her. ED sufferers be aware of this. Have your food and drink BEFORE interacting. I get feelings of low self worth after talking to my mother. She isn't very patient. She yelled at me for being slow to talk, not being enthusiastic wrapping my nephews presents I was experiencing a panic attack. Shed say things like I didn't love my family. I find it extremely hard to be close to her, I gained weight and then she said I was disappointed. My hair and body are never good enough. I have slimmed my body more than she prefers as I am not about to be judged for my dress size be curvy or else how can I when I run to deal with my anxiety. I am healthy and that what matters most. However I am restrictive at times. My cardigans all fell off again. I am quite thin even weight restored as my bones have not developed. Today I felt cut. I had to tell her to stop bringing up topics that upset me and though she apologized I am still hurt. I understand that something is wrong with her but I feel bad, I fear one of us will pass away and I will only have this type relationship to remember. The other thing I notice is when someone lowers my self worth I get picked on by random bullies the day after I have to stay indoors. Stay well.

  • @emilywebster6623
    @emilywebster6623 11 років тому +7

    Hey Kati. My parents are really great and supportive and do a lot of things that you recommend but I really don't find that helpful. I find it so much easier to stay in recovery when I can do it on my own (when my parents aren't trying to spend extra time with me and talk to me about this all the time) because then I feel too guilty and conflicted to actually deal with recovery. I just feel like I need space but every source I've looked at says otherwise. What should I do?

  • @katmia8348
    @katmia8348 4 роки тому +4

    i tried to tell my brother and he said “just work out it’ll make your body feel like it needs food” i ended up crying because i had told him so much about it and he thinks it’s such an easy fix

    • @PaulHosey-u3l
      @PaulHosey-u3l Місяць тому

      People are so profoundly ignorant on this subject. I don't even bother. When someone asks me why I'm not eating I just shake my head and say "I'm not hungry".

  • @juibelly2318
    @juibelly2318 7 років тому +10

    never clicked so fast

  • @muppets156
    @muppets156 8 років тому +61

    It's really hard to get advice for this online at all because it's all geared directly toward girls. I've never even found a gender neutral source, it's all always been hard to try to find advice and support anywhere when it's all geared toward the opposite gender. Sorry. I'm not trying to make it political or anything, it's just something I've noticed

  • @TheEmmahayes
    @TheEmmahayes 11 років тому +6

    Can you make one for self harm too? Please :)

  • @malimunson2791
    @malimunson2791 8 років тому +4

    Kati, my parents live out of state and my mom is a big trigger when it comes to my eating disorder and they don't know much about eating disorders ( at least that's what my dad told me) how can I explain to them what an eating disorder really is and how they can support me when I'm struggling

  • @KyleA558
    @KyleA558 12 років тому +1

    I'm not sure if I would be strong enough, I was scared enough the first time. But I feel I should talk to her. Yeah I feel it needs to be talked about too because right now I defiantly do not feel understood or cared for... Thanks for the response. I will try to let you know what happens.

  • @Invisible_Krystina
    @Invisible_Krystina 4 роки тому

    I have never had a healthy relationship with food all of my life most of my life I have been overeating. There was times where I would either undereat or stop eating altogether since I was 14 or 15. The real problem with under eating or stop eating was oct onwards of 2017 that went on for 9 to 10 months. Since the whole lockdown started I have been under eating and not eating at all for days. My parents don't understand that there is something wrong with me and they think I'm putting on a act. Im sick of it

  • @lynncrf
    @lynncrf 10 років тому +4

    #KATIFAQ - What are your thoughts on the Maudsley method? It has a 90% success rate in clinical trials, but this video is basically the opposite of the method. :)

  • @Ehsidorah
    @Ehsidorah 4 роки тому

    I have a psych therapist that helps m eat in small portions. When I told my mom about my disorder she seems concerned, but when she is part of the problem she starts defending herself. She brings in food that is addicting or triggering my binging. She says talk to your therapist as an defense mechanism as "hey you cant change the way I eat because you cant" It makes the problem worse. I am legitimately crying commenting because I cant lose weight because of all of these triggers. Plus I purged today on foods that trigger me. I feel like she doesn't care about my disorder. She buys me food for healthy eating and things of that nature. Its not about what I eat its about how much I eat. When I tell her that she gets angry and goes back to '' of wanting to change the diet because its my problem''. I feel like she just wants me to back off and deal with it on my own, but I cant. :(

  • @saminarose80
    @saminarose80 4 роки тому +1

    My mom told me I don’t seem like I’ve lost X amount of weight and I don’t look underweight! Later she told me since I’m an adult she thinks she should leave it to me and trust I’ll take care of myself! She’s been manipulating me with food since I told her! I regret telling her! 🤦🏻‍♀️
    Funny thing I’m locking myself up in my bedroom and told her to stop talking to me because she only makes me feel horrible by guilt and shame tripping me!

  • @a5295b
    @a5295b 12 років тому +2

    I really wish my parents would listen , i've given up to telling them. I have a disordered eating pattern that consists of restricting to always eating to restricting again. My parents were aware of it about a year ago when my HIghschool called junior year. They did not do anything about it just told me to get over it. So now a year later i am still struggling but hide it because I am sick of being told what i am told. How to i get them to listen?

  • @lottierea2469
    @lottierea2469 4 роки тому +34

    Stop saying her, could just as easily be a boy with a disorder

  • @malimunson2791
    @malimunson2791 7 років тому +1

    Kati, my parents live out of state. how can they be supportive?

  • @hmmmmmmmmno
    @hmmmmmmmmno 8 років тому +1

    Kati, what do you think about FBT? I went through it and it was hell. It dragged me out of the worst, but I'm not recovered. I'm hovering. I feel like I've ruined the lives of everyone in my family.

  • @wixlie
    @wixlie 3 роки тому

    For me it is coming from a place of just wanting to talk about it. Does it mean I am faking it? I don't look sick and I eat but I still deal with a lot of ED thoughts. My friends don't often do things to trigger my ED but when they have I never say anything. When I lived with my parents and got forced into treatment I wasn't allowed to tell any of my friends or family. So it was all a secret. Now I have this feeling of wanting to talk about it and wanting people to know..I want to feel like my friends take me seriously but I never bring it up because I'm afraid they won't and that would be worse then never talking about it.

  • @kayleenhoglo8194
    @kayleenhoglo8194 4 роки тому +2

    My mom straight up said stop feeling sorry for yourself no you don’t.

    • @heyitsellie582
      @heyitsellie582 Рік тому

      well she’s not a very good mother then. if know yourself and emotions better than anyone.

  • @unholierthanthou7748
    @unholierthanthou7748 5 років тому

    I might have slight Anorexia. I tend to stave myself and then eat at night. It's certainly not healthy but I'm not starving myself completely. If you know of a disorder please let me know, it would help me out.

  • @alexandrialopez1537
    @alexandrialopez1537 12 років тому +1

    I told my parents, once. But they didn't believe me. They think it is just a phase, and it's not. I've been dealing with it forever. I need more help, but they don't believe me :( What do I do?

  • @iwysong2014
    @iwysong2014 12 років тому

    Hey, I was just wondering what would be the most... effective... way to respond when people that honestly care tell you that you need to eat. There's always just an awkward silence and I never quite know how to make them understand without explaining everything. And it's hard because the truth is that I don't really care what happens to me, and telling them that would hurt them. Do you have any reccomendations as to what to say?

  • @KyleA558
    @KyleA558 12 років тому

    I had to tell my mom about my cutting and eating problems, my school counselor somehow found out and said I had to.. I wrote her a letter and left it for her to read.. But she never even said anything to me. Just acted like nothing ever happened :/ I mean I was kinda happy, but then I was really hurt..

  • @pinkie7017
    @pinkie7017 6 років тому +1

    I'm crying because my dad would never listen to this. If my therapist were to talk to him like this, he wouldn't listen and I'd just get more shit...

  • @likeolikehinmygut
    @likeolikehinmygut 12 років тому

    I think you should start talking to them about it and tell them about things bothering you. Maybe they're afraid of triggering you or making it worse?
    The same thing happened to me too. I was relieved I didn't have to worry about being sent back to therapy and didn't even have to change, but looking back I felt abandoned too. Like, do you really not care that I'm doing these things? Did I mean so little? It's kind of an empty relief, yanno?

  • @apexyl5135
    @apexyl5135 3 роки тому

    If I talked to my friends I’d owe it to them to get better. I’m not ready for that.

  • @elijay2565
    @elijay2565 12 років тому

    Hey kati, have you done a video about explaining SH to family and friends because I was at a family party and I was in a short sleeved top and the looks I got Not nice the younger ones I expected the questions (to them I had been helping in the garden) But the worst looks were from the adults Please help me!!!!!!!!

  • @lex5016
    @lex5016 5 років тому

    This is an old vidoe but I've recently relapsed with my ed. I'm undiagnosed. I haven't eaten in a while.

  • @likeolikehinmygut
    @likeolikehinmygut 12 років тому

    Is that normal for a therapist to do that? I mean, I get needing a few minutes to talk to parentals, but it was happening every session, and then towards the end it would be for 10-15 minutes. I just played Gameboy while they talked. Eventually she gave up during the sessions and would spend the rest of the sessions with them too.

  • @itskaleena
    @itskaleena 12 років тому

    I want to talk to my dad because I want to get help but I'm scared and don't know now.:/ I've talked to my best friend about it though.....

  • @jessesgirl1990
    @jessesgirl1990 8 років тому

    Would this work with a spouse?

  • @annaa396
    @annaa396 6 років тому

    How do you talk to parents when you're in midlife...i think they're afraid I'm going yo blame them or that this is something they now cant ignore...im losing more and more...but not for their acceptance or anything it is what it is.

  • @leonorarriaga3577
    @leonorarriaga3577 7 років тому

    Hi kati! I know there´s the common idea that siblings usually are mean to you or there´s the love hate relashionship...but my younger brother is literally bullying me and harassing me, like puching me through the floor and telling me to kill myself...How can i make him stop? Everytime i try to ignore him i lock myself to bed and eat like a pig. I talk with my parents but they notice this so dont believe me..one of the reasons my ED recovery isn´t working because of the insecurities he puts on me besides from mine´s...And how do i make him understand this ED isn´t a way to get attention or a joke? My stupid psychiatrist decided to make a family reunion and he only made things worse by saying it´s me that causes everythig to him (purging, fasting, etc...) and now he uses it against me like everything he can....My life is hell right now....

  • @suziekeuls7582
    @suziekeuls7582 6 років тому +1

    What if your parents dont take it serious and you already did go to the doctor but you cant efford therapy

  • @DUCKYY-0.0
    @DUCKYY-0.0 3 роки тому

    i want to tell my mom because i know its getting really bad and i dont want it to.

  • @lazypotato6855
    @lazypotato6855 3 роки тому

    i just told my best friend and I don't think he understands the meaning of bed....

  • @juliebrown4514
    @juliebrown4514 4 роки тому

    My dad wants me to lose weight not gain. 😭

  • @bratatouille
    @bratatouille 7 років тому +16

    I know this is an old video, but even though the majority of people with eating disorders are girls, everyone isn't. I really wish there was some gender neutral ed help resources. I'm trans, and having every ed video refer to me as "she" is making me feel even more invalid and dysphoric, and I'm sure it isn't helping people of other genders either :(

    • @sarahlynn8672
      @sarahlynn8672 7 років тому

      Miika I completely understand, I have super supportive parents and I came out as trans a few years ago so now my mom has been working so hard trying to find someone who will use my correct pronouns and it’s great it took 3 years but it finally happened

    • @jonpaulashworth1268
      @jonpaulashworth1268 6 років тому

      Miika agreed. I’m a male with anorexia and I found out that 33% of men have anorexia

    • @trayas2272
      @trayas2272 6 років тому +3

      Just when they says “she” translate it to “he” or whatever in your head. The info is still valid.

    • @jtejada2784
      @jtejada2784 5 років тому

      @@jonpaulashworth1268 I'm guessing you mean 33% of anorexics are men?

  • @fa11enmun
    @fa11enmun 3 роки тому

    Your videos are very helpful , but you address mostly girls !
    What about boys ?

  • @joshuajordan4181
    @joshuajordan4181 3 роки тому

    Sucks when people address eating disorders in a female perspective.