I have been married 50 yrs next anniversary we have mellowed and grown in companionship as we have aged. The only thing is that obviously one of us will probably survive the other and this would be a time of great challenge. My husband does all the routine maintenance and I take care of our financial affairs and handle paperwork and IT. We are two halves of a whole I don't know how I will cope without Him and He is concerned how he will without me , we don't have any children together although we fostered for 20 years and still have contact with one who is grownup but lives 2.5 hrs drive away.
It seems she could have learned to paint while married. My former sister-in-law initiated her divorce at 70. She basically sent a torpedo through our entire family. What she has done to her children, grandchildren and former family is tragic. It's all about her, though, isn't it?
It IS all about her. Her life is almost over and she has little time to waste in an unhappy marriage. Kudos to her for choosing herself. She didn't do anything to the "children, grandchildren, and former family". They just don't want to accept that she needed change. That's selfish of them. Sounds like your brother didn't make her happy & that you've taken the divorce personally. Don't. It's not about you. Support your brother without judging his ex-wife. Bitterness is a self-inflicted wound.
@@shelleygregory4513 If I remember correctly, the word happy is not in the wedding vows. Also, by now we all know that happiness is an inside job. Leaving at 70+ years old after 50 years of marriage...??? It was costly (her choice), drawn out (her choice) and vicious (also her choice). She probably knocked 4 years off her own life with all of the drama and hate she spewed. As for my brother, his life has improved immensely since she left. He is healthier, happier and sounds great when I talk to him. He is staying busy, traveling, exercising and taking care of himself. Living with contention is not a good thing, but he never would have left her. Because she spent hours and hours defending herself and tearing down my brother to everyone and anyone who would listen, she lost the respect of her children, former friends, neighbors and family. Let's just say she didn't leave with dignity and grace. But that doesn't matter either does it? Because she's "happy" now and that's all that matters. If she is truly happy, that is. And while I'm at it, let's ask...how's all that happiness working for her? Or anyone else that has taken on this kind of life? Is that happiness paying for your groceries? Did it pay for your car repair, expensive home maintenance or take care of the bill from the rehab hospital you had to stay in because there was no one to help you after that fall or sickness? You will never see me advocating for grey divorce. If I am a lone voice in the wilderness, so be it. Women who do this with the results she created are old fools. But you go girls! Happiness is the only thing that matters, right? It's all about the feelings. Bitter - I'll admit to that. I loved her. I thought we were friends and I thought she was family. After she got through slandering my brother to literally everyone, I turned into his "f-ing sister." Why? I'll never know. I haven't talked to her since she called and told me she was leaving him - which as you can imagine I asked her not to do. But she didn't do anything to anyone. It was all about her. Ok, sure. Tell that to my son after she threw his art in the trash. Tell that to the people who loved and cared for her for 50+ years that she didn't think were worth a crap when her feelings got in the way. Are all grey divorces like this? I don't know and I hope I never know more than I do now. Ever.
I have been married 50 yrs next anniversary we have mellowed and grown in companionship as we have aged. The only thing
is that obviously one of us will probably survive the other and this would be a time of great challenge. My husband does all the routine maintenance and I take care of our financial affairs and handle paperwork and IT. We are two halves of a whole I don't know how I will cope without Him and He is concerned how he will without me , we don't have any children together although we fostered for 20 years
and still have contact with one who is grownup but lives 2.5 hrs drive away.
O dear
I hope you are okay. I know it's a lot to process
It seems she could have learned to paint while married.
My former sister-in-law initiated her divorce at 70. She basically sent a torpedo through our entire family. What she has done to her children, grandchildren and former family is tragic. It's all about her, though, isn't it?
It IS all about her. Her life is almost over and she has little time to waste in an unhappy marriage. Kudos to her for choosing herself. She didn't do anything to the "children, grandchildren, and former family". They just don't want to accept that she needed change. That's selfish of them. Sounds like your brother didn't make her happy & that you've taken the divorce personally. Don't. It's not about you. Support your brother without judging his ex-wife. Bitterness is a self-inflicted wound.
@shelleygregory4513 totally agree with you 💯
@@shelleygregory4513 If I remember correctly, the word happy is not in the wedding vows. Also, by now we all know that happiness is an inside job. Leaving at 70+ years old after 50 years of marriage...??? It was costly (her choice), drawn out (her choice) and vicious (also her choice). She probably knocked 4 years off her own life with all of the drama and hate she spewed.
As for my brother, his life has improved immensely since she left. He is healthier, happier and sounds great when I talk to him. He is staying busy, traveling, exercising and taking care of himself. Living with contention is not a good thing, but he never would have left her.
Because she spent hours and hours defending herself and tearing down my brother to everyone and anyone who would listen, she lost the respect of her children, former friends, neighbors and family. Let's just say she didn't leave with dignity and grace. But that doesn't matter either does it? Because she's "happy" now and that's all that matters. If she is truly happy, that is.
And while I'm at it, let's ask...how's all that happiness working for her? Or anyone else that has taken on this kind of life? Is that happiness paying for your groceries? Did it pay for your car repair, expensive home maintenance or take care of the bill from the rehab hospital you had to stay in because there was no one to help you after that fall or sickness?
You will never see me advocating for grey divorce. If I am a lone voice in the wilderness, so be it. Women who do this with the results she created are old fools. But you go girls! Happiness is the only thing that matters, right? It's all about the feelings.
Bitter - I'll admit to that. I loved her. I thought we were friends and I thought she was family. After she got through slandering my brother to literally everyone, I turned into his "f-ing sister." Why? I'll never know. I haven't talked to her since she called and told me she was leaving him - which as you can imagine I asked her not to do.
But she didn't do anything to anyone. It was all about her. Ok, sure. Tell that to my son after she threw his art in the trash. Tell that to the people who loved and cared for her for 50+ years that she didn't think were worth a crap when her feelings got in the way.
Are all grey divorces like this? I don't know and I hope I never know more than I do now. Ever.