We Have A Problem Splitting The Bills!
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- Опубліковано 2 жов 2024
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I swear people get married for the wedding. The whole point of marriage is to be one. If you dont like to share your money, dont get married.
have the wedding w/o getting married? pure genius
Or let people do what they want in their relationship
@@perotal Well, she called asking for their opinion.
AMEN
WRONG
theres never be 1, 2 people are always 2.people, no matter what the religion lie to you
Its a joint venture and they need communication
Rachels facial expression in the beginning was priceless!
She did the holy cow face really well.
I started listening to Dave ten years ago, shortly after we got married (in our 40s). Dave's advice on combining our money has been incredibly beneficial for our finances and our relationship.
Same. My husband and I’s financial problems disappeared after we combined accounts finally. Not to mention it made a world of difference for our marriage.
My husband and I worked on our budget before getting married to see where we could afford to live, we added up both incomes to know how much money WE would have. It never occurred to "split" bills.
Great. Keep up the WE working together, and build your future bright.
Awesome. Us too. This notion of married people splitting bills makes no sense.
That's a great idea! We had many money conversations. We actually took FPU together (before we were dating). It gave us common language and money ideas. But we never made a budget. I'm definitely handing that advice out to my dating friends!
Totally agree with them. I make most of the money but it all goes together and we both have the same say.
I will add part of the reason I am as successful at my job is when I had to put I long hours my wife was there to take care of the children.
Man I am so glad I have the husband I do. Have always worked until our babies were born, first I went part time and then became a full time mom after my second. Never ever ever has he ever made me feel like it was “his money” it’s always been “ours” … because it is.
Why did you get married? My wife and I have always pooled our money regardless of how much each other earned. And we have never argued about money, we discuss large purchases and don’t get hung on the little things! She pays the bills and I balance the checkbook so we both understand our expenses. We have been married over 45 years! It has always been a shared adventure in everything we do., never me or I but always we!
@dt1145 yes that how my husband and I was we shared everything even fiancé jobs children homes furniture bills what was his was mine too what was mine was his also it always we not me or you
So if one person loses their job they are supposed to fend for themselves? Idiotic way of thinking about marriage
Thinking about marriage is itself idiotic.
Dave, you and Sharon aren't hillbillies. You're high class. Y'all are hill-Williams. 😝
I can never understand couples who don't want to combine their income and assets after marriage. If you don't trust the guy/gal why do you marry him/her??!? Once you're married, everything is together for better or worse. Remember that was what you promised on the wedding day?!?!?
lol because people get married for show nowadays not for meaning thats why they feel it needs to lavish and have a diamond ring when in reality it meaningless and shouldnt matter
They were thinking about how gorgeous they looked on the wedding day, flashing stuff they haven't paid for. No one looks down the road to old age, retired, unable to work, when the love of a long marriage is every bit as vital to life as money for the next meal.
That “ for better or worse” part is decided by the courts during divorce especially with the finances and assets.
Sounds like two cheap roommates squabbling over who's springing for a pizza this time.
@@JohnJohn-wr1jo That's marriages today have no commitment or trust. They have roommate mentality which is WRONG....
“Hey Dave, I liked splitting the bills when I made as much if not more than my husband but now that he got a raise I no longer like this deal so I’m going to call in and ask a question that I already know what your answer will be so I can use it as leverage to shame my husband into complying…”
You were on commission before and you managed to do it all these years… so… your ‘intermittent’ income has nothing to do with this….
For once I’d like the husband to be on the line and he simply responds, “That’s not what we agreed to, those weren’t the vows I took, she knew what the deal was upfront before we got married and I don’t renegotiate…”
(And just walks away from the phone).
hahhaha this is great!!!
If both are good people, put it all together & budget /decide together. It will work way best. If you are not both good people, stop screwing around and don't get married.
Or it can be other way around. He may want her to contribute more, as much as him.
You are just biased.
How sad this woman lives like that :( how sad. The basic the basic the basic right of a married woman
I personally will suggest separate accounts if one of us have spending issues.
Lol
My grandparents eventually splitting accounts is what saved the marriage. 61 years later they're going strong.
There’s always an exception to the rule. Even DR admits that.
But the exception also doesn’t make the rule.
It never occurred to me to split anything when I got married. You become one in every single aspect.
When one spouse brings in a residual income into the marriage, that's his or hers, not both.
@@texan903 That's called separate property. I had equity in a condo when I got married. I then did a refi to add my wife to the mortgage and put her on title and waived my separate property claim. We now have a child. The way I see it, all of my money regardless of when I got it is our "family's" money.
@neutralcommenter7800 Good luck when she divorces you, which is highly likely. You will get what you at the time she decides to switch up or leave for a richer man.
@@texan903It’s not highly likely. Quit with your garbage red pill nonsense
@BlueDauntless you must be one of the independent feminists who red pill guys must avoid.
50/50 splitting finances seems like one foot in one foot out
Different income the higher income picks up more
He knows her extremely well. Thers a reason he wants separate accounts
So what would you call a 100/0 split?
@@ContextReallyMatters a stay at home parent that has to care for the kids
Marriage is a beautiful thing, being single is a beautiful thing as well.
Until you get old.
@cindifischer6919 , being in a relationship doesn't guarantee that your partner or kids will be there in old age, people die
Dude, Rachel's face when she's laying this out is priceless! 🤣
I love it when I already know Rachel’ and Dave‘s answer before they give it. I’m hoping to graduate sometime soon. 😬
You pass 👍
It shows they’re consistent.
Another problem people see is if they have combined accounts then they argue if they are collectively not on the same page. It's simple. Combine accounts and you both get the same amount of spending money each month. If collective income goes up then you both can have more spending money. If it goes down then it's a both of you issue. Not hate just teamwork
As a single guy, I'd have to really fall hard and get lost in the emotions to submit all control of my money into such account and having to discuss what I spend on.
@@sloth6765 Maybe you're looking for the wrong kind of Women then.
@@sloth6765 you can still have your own ‘spending’ account & so can they 👍🏼
P.s. if she wants an expensive wedding then remind her that yes traditionally weddings are expensive and traditionally her dad would pay for it. You want to be the dad that pays for your daughter's wedding and you aren't willing to waste years of progress on that for yourself. Catch you at the 10 year reception party that you both have time to prepare for as a team 😉
@@sloth6765 You don't need to discuss every time you swipe your card. The monthly budget has line items for each spouse. If I want to spend $100 a month on getting coffee every morning and that works for the budget, then nobody gets to complain when $3 come out everyday for that coffee. You discuss this stuff monthly when making the budget. You have check ins when things come up. And then you live your life while living up tot he promise you made in the budget. If she wants to buy expensive clothes, the husband may get mad. But if the budget allocates enough money for her clothes to cover it, then it's already been agreed to BEFORE the purchase was made. So now she can impulse shop without messing up the relationship.
_"Dave, I'm having a problem splitting the bills . . . you see, turns out it means that 'splitting' means I have to pay something . . . I don't really want to pay, I just want to be 'empowered' and have him pay for all the stuff. Please advise."_
Hahaha no joke. One day, he needs to take this to the extreme in one of these calls. “Sure, install electric meters on everything you use and everything he uses. Calculate the exact electric usage each of you use and pay for it. Same with food etc.”
If people want to get legalistic about it, get legalistic.
Divorce time .if this ever happened to me. Let the old huzzy pay all her own hills
True🤣🤣🤣
Spoken like a true redpiller!
These days you feminists and redpillers really seems to be the two sides of a same coins.
Yep. This is truth. And this coming from a woman
This is advice I wish I had heard before getting engaged and then un-engaged 💔
Not combining finances until you’re married?
Their advice is so fundermenral, but so very correct. You get married and it is all one pocket.
Lol maybe that works for some people but that sounds horrible for me.
Everything should be deposited into that joint account. You don't divide things by percentages going in and then going out. Now if you want to transfer out sums for hobbies and discretionary spending, then have at it. That should come after the money hits the joint account, not the reverse.
True.
Tbh that sounds horrible. I pay 100% of all bills, maintenance and retirement, and my SO covers savings. I couldn’t imagine having a joint checking where we each get to nit pick each others “fun” purchases that make each day a little better for each of us.
@@375Cheytac Like Rachel said in the video, each spouse has a line item (or items) that are for them to spend. Since each of you know the other spouse won't spend over X dollars in a month on random fun stuff, there's no need to nitpick. If one month your contribution to retirement or hers to savings is lower than usual would neither of you ask what happened? Or are you oblivious to what the other is doing? If both are you are perfectly financially responsible and see finances the same way then your way can certainly work. However, if that's the case then I can't see a way that combined finances wouldn't also work for you.
@@375Cheytac yeah but that's not how it's done. you can define your own amounts from the budget. it works very well and it help you both have the same awareness of what's happening not necessarily where every cent is going to
@@375CheytacSignificant other? Definitely don’t combine finances with someone you aren’t married to.
Definitely ok to join accounts if they both know how to manage it and create good progress to financial independence.
If one spouse isn't responsible you still run into the same problems with separate accounts. You just find out about it a lot later on, typically with a bigger crisis with less wiggle room. It's really hard to say you trust this person to be your lifelong partner but also not trust them to share a bank account.
To obtain financial freedom, one must either be a business owner, an investor or both, generating passive income, particularly on a weekly and monthly basis .that's the key to living a financially stable life. This trick has never failed.I pray that anyone who reads this will be successful in life and put this basis to work and practice
I urge everyone to start somewhere now no matter how small, this is literally the time for that, forget material things, don't get tempted,
i became more better and aware the moment i realized this.
This is definitely correct and I agree with you on this
Natural, there’s a lot of math involved in f o r e x tra ding,
My first c a p i t a l in-vested with
Charlotte Hearne to gave me good ROI of over $,19000 and since then she has never failed to deliver ❤️
I agree with Rachel on this. Why do they care who makes what?
I’m outta here after 35 seconds. This whole my money/his money/what’s fair BS is ridiculous. You’re not roommates, you’re married. Jeez.
Management of finances certainly hurt and even end a marriage. If your spouse can't become "we" and stop with "mine" I suggest moving on. It may seem old-fashioned like Dave said, but both of you are equal partners regardless of who makes or doesn't make money, or who makes more. The point is journey this life together, in all ways. Just my opinion.
Marriage really is a business merger. My husband and I have a joint account and all the checks go to that account and the bills are on auto pay out of that account. We also budget spending amounts that also get auto transferred into our personal accounts. But we still both have access to the joint checking for food, entertainment, travel expenses, etc
If you go into a marriage thinking that you need to keep your accounts seperate because of a potential divorce, you shouldn't get married. If you do end up divorcing, so what if your spouse gets half. You should still want the best for them even though y'all aren't together. People obsess over money way too much.
its more than half. In some states you have to pay the significant other alimony for lifetime after 10 years. The man shouldnt have got married in the first place but im sure he trying to play his cards right in case that day comes
It forces you to deal with issues and it forces you to pick the right person to began with. It forces you to take marraige serious
WOW, it amazes me that a married couple do not share bank accounts or combine finances. It is astounding.
Astounding for me you just pool it like socialism. Sounds like a lot of hassle sorting it out.
When you have "your" account and "my" account, it sounds too secretive for my liking. We're married, it's OUR money, OUR expenses, OUR accounts. It doesn't matter that one spouse's income is twice that of the other. It all goes into the joint account.
I only just now realized that Rachel is Dave’s daughter.
This just proves a women’s money is hers and a man’s money is theirs together in female logic. Don’t let them fool you 😂
Rachel’s sweater looks phenomenal on her. That color 😍
This is very powerful information
Whatever works for you but I don't know how couples that are financially separated can work, it would be somewhat petty and a little ridiculous for me to say "oh this is mine and that's yours"
A joint venture 😆
You get trashed on social media for traditional marriage \ relationship values? 😂 Their narcissistic need for selfies and likes tells us everything we need to know about those people. Empty vessels make most noise.
Should ask them do they split the restaurant bill...it's the same thing very petty.
I love the way you say a separate line item we were defo doing this wrong we were trying to give each other different roles of the budget but this is better thank you
“Putting in equally” is a bit crazy as a financial concept in a marriage. Nothing is equal in in the world, you’re a complement to each other.
I know a couple who has to have separate accounts because one spouse is bipolar and during a manic episode put them in a large amount of gambling debt.
The exception doesn’t make the rule.
I can't even grasp the concept of splitting bills in a healthy marriage. All income goes into a joint account. Then we have our own checking account that we transfer a small amount into for our own spending. All bills come from the joint account.
Same!
Before everything was online we just took that money out in cash. Now it’s easier to have a play money account.
My wife and I have a joint account but her paycheck goes into a savings account for vacations and to build our future house later this year. And my paycheck pays our bills
Perfect
I can't imagine how hard it is to be married and not share money.
My wife and I have done this for many years. Maybe we’re the exception but it works great for us.
Okayyy..... So how do we split the bills Dave???
My wife doesn't work and never sticks to the budgets I create. I have to create the budget because she doesn't want to do that either.
Folks, if you are not willing to combine finances.....Do not get married....period!! A couple who are not willing to combine finances are too greedy to get married and are not worthy of a marriage!!!
Lol no
Lol, don't get married.
Heck that is a compliment nowadays.
The key to financial success is communication and transparency.
I think couple should have a joint account and both have separate accounts for gifts, fun, whatever they want.
You must be single
@@imacubsfan23 I’ve been married for 10 years and this works for us very well. It seems that you can’t grasp how this system works but that’s ok because idgaf. Cheers!
Of course Rachel says this. His is theirs, what is her's is her's. Wonder what the advice and in reality what would happen if the gender roles were reversed.
💯
They give the same advice to guys calling in. It doesn’t matter what gender you are, if you are doing the right thing. Communicating together and sticking to that budget.
"I want to save and invest a significant portion of our money."
"But, It is our money. We are rich. We can afford to do/buy..."
Checkmate.
My friends and I always went to fast food restaurants. We never had this problem. Everyone just paid their own individual lunch from the beginning.
Your comparing your friends to a married couple lol.
@@fabbz94 I know right. But Vanessa is making exactly the correct point: friends and roommates split bills; a married couple no longer has individual bills
@@fabbz94
I think the point is there was never a problem.
She just wants access to his resources worry free. All these women have secret break up accounts but if thean wants his own account all of the sudden it's a problem.
Bingo. Nailed it.
Ok, please, serious question..
What happens when one spouse (spender/non-earner) spends ridiculously, commits financial infidelity, and is frustrated when the other spouse (earner) puts the spender on allowance? The spender will not go to marriage counseling, tried to go to several jobs, but nothing consistent. The earner, wants to go to marriage counseling, but refuses to combine finances until the spender gets on track. Earner is stressed out and doesn't know what to do. (Not me, but a close family member.)
Okay I'll take a stab at this since I'm going to be starting graduate school to be a counselor. They need to sit down and discuss there finance goals as a team. No one should be on an allowance since that often means that there is financial control going on in the relationship which more often than not progresses into financial abuse because your trying to control there spending instead of working through there spending issues. This requires both parties to want to work through there marriage. If they don't want to see a counselor that's okay but they need to see someone work through all there issues because this is probably other things going on such as feeling undervalued, lack of trust, etc on both sides.
Mutually agreeing to be on a budget and forcing a budget on someone are two things and also to add the spender needs to want to get better and if that doesn't happen then we should be questioning if the marriage is worth saving because it's not going to get better if you don't see someone to unpack all these issues. A Mutual friend, religious leader etc someone is going to need to unpack these issues or they need to have a heart to heart with no tension no frustration just listening to each other and start being truthful.
Dave always seems to forget that marriage predates the church, lol ! 😅 .
I’ll give the church full strategy points for enfolding the “institute of marriage” into itself as a way to expand. I’m not being facetious; genius level move on their part. No $hit.
You need to switch churches if this is how you understand biblical marriage. Or listen.
@@60Airflyte - Oh of course, I get that! But I was referring to before marriages were made biblical as we know them now.
Dave referring to his wife as a hillbilly and then doubling down when given the chance to retract 😂
She has no intention of following the great advice from Rachel and Dave.
Don't share bank account. Trust me. Your future self will thank you
At 7:09- Rachel says- "One of the "pushbacks" we get is that since we split up our $$, we aren't fighting any more." BINGO!!! PRECISELY why my beloved late wife & I didn't combine $$, and we had 34 wonderful, loving years together. The Ramsey folks offer lots of common sense, but this is one of their BIG nuggets of total NONSENSE! If 2 spouses agree 100%, GREAT! However, such is VERY rare!
I married my wife when I was around 40 and she was in her mid-20s, I was already established in life. When we got married I told her everything I have belongs to both of us, I put her name on everything I had including bank accounts. We get along great, our wealth has increased significantly, I am now 61 years old and retired early, my lovely wife is a nurse practitioner and has a great income. We have always been frugal with our money, and now we own multiple properties, I have a few classic cars, toys etc. no debt. I could not have married a better woman.
If you split the bills there is no need to ask each other if you can buy something because the bills will already be paid for. So i dont understand trying to ask each other if you can buy something with joint account, it seems much easier the other way around. Also i would rather pay the majority to 3/4 of the bills just to clarify the economic situation than ask if i can buy a pack of gum and not go over account balance it too trivial to me. Just my thoughts to make it easier not asking constantly if can pick something up at store.
7:26 “You broke up and didn’t admit it.” 👏🏼
From the week my husband and I began dating he was using “we” and “us” when it came to finances and decision making. We’ve never have been separate. I believe 100% that’s what’s contributed to us getting married.
I pay all the bills. Wife spends all her money on Amazon junk, holiday decorations, and Starbucks.
whats mine is mine and whats yours is mine
And ? She not asking you to pay for it
I wouldn't even think of marrying someone that I wouldn't have a joint bank account with.
"How do I get him to pay for the stuff that isn't fun?"
I would sure love to hear a call with both husband and wife on the call. One sided views are really hard to understand. Does this lady make $10,000, 1 month a year or $3-6,000 each month. When finances are separate there is usually a reason. The most common reason is one is a saver and the second is a spender. Maybe one is a worker and another is lazy.
Bruh…this is the very first time I’m realizing that Rachel is Dave’s DAUGHTER! Am I late to the party?!
I have never heard any one say “in deep kimchi” before. Considering that the original phrase is “in deep shit,” it seems to be equating shit and kimchi. And as a Korean person, I found this to be kinda offensive. Microaggression towards Asians is a real thing. Please do better
They would sing a different tune if she said her income was about to be significantly more than his. It’s only a requirement to split 50/50 in Christian world…as long as it’s the man making the money
Dave should have hung up on the caller once he saw she was from St.Paul, MN and if not then, then after she used the word equity.
Why is a progressive even calling into this Show?
If you don't have a joint account with surviorship, a death by either one of you could cause financial hardship for the family, as the account of the deceased spouse would be frozen.
Dave looking so proud and enjoying Rachel's responses.
Her money and his money are theirs equally regardless of who makes more. The same goes if and when divorce initiates. Marriage can be a blessing or a nightmare. Choose wisely 😌
They wanted to be strong and independant and equal. As soon as he makes more money then her, she has a problem with splitting the bills equaly.
I would love for Dave to get remarried and let's just see if he gives the same advice.
What ya mean? He remarries he's wife? I don't understand that logic
@@TheAazah a new wife
@@johnlanier3616 He's not stupid enough to be in a failed marriage.
Has to be single first.
@@TheAazah In the unhappy event of his wife passing. ONE of them WILL pass first, unless it's some simultaneous tragedy.
I love both of their expressions at the beginning lol
Yep. Dave’s was a good one too!
Dave knows five Bible verses and they’re all about money and/or marriage
Been here twice. One stole money and didn't pay bills before she ran out, and the other was a shopaholic who destroyed our relationship with debt. Combining money is a disaster, I don't care what any expert on money or professional psychologist says. Let's be honest, how hard is it for two civilized people to divide expenses?
Tell me you're dysfunctional and shouldn't be married without telling me you're dysfunctional and shouldn't be married.
Which law is dave referring to when he says divorce is "equal"?
The laws are equal. The application of them, maybe not.
Can't believe I am this early! Love the Ramsey show and all the knowledge shared.
I'm listening because it's Dave Ramsey! The rest? Not so much, except Rachel (since she's essentially a female Dave Ramsey).
They need a better communication, combine finance is a tragedy
She feels like she shouldn’t have to pay bills because her husband makes more money.
My husband has kids. Adult and still one minor. We've kept separate checking account.
I would never have a joint account with my wife.
I'm assuming you aren't married.
I like having my own money,we split the bills and buy what we won’t without checking with each other and it works very well !!
It is not. You just don't see it.
I’ve been married for 24 years and we have done the same thing !!! We joke that it’s stupid because it all “our money” and it doesn’t matter. But it works for us
Can’t you step outside of your day to day life and see how ridiculous split finances are. It’s such loser behaviour
My beloved late wife & I were just like you. Was PERFECT for us. Prevented HUGE arguments, resentment. Be prepared for a LOT of vitriol coming your way in the comments section from Ramsey purists.
I'll bets it's her husband who wants to keep money separate, not her.
He probably makes more
"Old fashioned" marriage over here! My husband has provided every penny for the entire 17 years of our marriage thus far, yet everything WE have is OURS. I cannot even fathom having a husband treat me like a roommate and not be my provider. Yes, I know, modern women couldn't even imagine being in a traditional marriage. I think this caller seemed shell shocked.
What ever happened to tradition
I love Dave on this one 💞
Why is this so hard for some people to understand?
No knowledge of God.
Its proven if you both share the same value of money. Big asterisk
One budget! What a novel idea!
Wait till Dave learns that 50% or marriages end in divorce...
Dave Ramsey doesn't seem like he would give up half the control of a decision.
Neither does Sharon Ramsey.
No trash here. Made our lives better working together.
Why call the show for this question when you know they believe in the cash is the marriage cash. Not his or hers. The marriage.
She must be a new listener.