How Do My Wife And I Split The Mortgage Payment?

Поділитися
Вставка
  • Опубліковано 2 жов 2024
  • 💵 Create Your Free Budget! Sign up for EveryDollar ⮕ ter.li/6h2c45
    📱Download the Ramsey Network App ⮕ ter.li/ajeshj
    🛒 Visit The Ramsey Store ⮕ ter.li/7vyom2
    📞 Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 weekdays from 2-5 pm ET or send us a message ter.li/n88ly5
    Explore More Shows from Ramsey Network:
    🎙️ The Ramsey Show ⮕ ter.li/ng9950
    🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour ⮕ ter.li/9gcp3d
    🧠 The Dr. John Delony Show ⮕ ter.li/2u3mc0
    💰 George Kamel ⮕ ter.li/1elws8
    💡 The Rachel Cruze Show ⮕ ter.li/n2u6jc
    💼 The Ken Coleman Show - Highlights ⮕ ter.li/1rbjr2
    📈 EntreLeadership ⮕ ter.li/ktxv2k
    Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy
    www.ramseysolu...

КОМЕНТАРІ • 620

  • @lot2196
    @lot2196 2 роки тому +766

    Divorced guys at work would complain about how much of their check went to child support. I always joked that I'm married with three kids, 100% of my paycheck goes to child support. 😄

    • @annasimons389
      @annasimons389 2 роки тому +12

      lol

    • @princekiki33
      @princekiki33 2 роки тому +23

      Not the same

    • @NeyJ
      @NeyJ 2 роки тому +32

      @@princekiki33 woosh

    • @PantherGeek7
      @PantherGeek7 2 роки тому +12

      You should buy a t-shirt that says “My kids think I’m an ATM”.

    • @kaylab1157
      @kaylab1157 2 роки тому +27

      @D C you have a kid, it's your responsibility to look after. Not the taxpayers

  • @kdilli6426
    @kdilli6426 2 роки тому +328

    My wife and i did the whole separate accounts things our first few months of marriage, and then found it completely silly when we were transferring money back and forth for things. We are 100% shared account now. So much simpler and our financial trust level couldn't be better.

    • @TheAgentmigs
      @TheAgentmigs 2 роки тому +30

      Glad it works for you. I personally don't want to have to answer for how I'm spending my "play" money.

    • @ThreePuttBogeys88
      @ThreePuttBogeys88 2 роки тому +27

      @@TheAgentmigs That's the great thing about just staying single...besides the crying myself to sleep part.

    • @MichaelAnderson-wk1no
      @MichaelAnderson-wk1no 2 роки тому +36

      @@TheAgentmigs If you want to do your own thing, then just don't get married.

    • @ellasoes8325
      @ellasoes8325 2 роки тому +23

      @@TheAgentmigs You don't have to have separate finances to have that privilege. That's just an excuse.

    • @Rot05
      @Rot05 2 роки тому

      Truth

  • @melanieb2132
    @melanieb2132 2 роки тому +142

    It's crazy to me that people are more willing to share genetics with another than their pocket books.

    • @shelleygreyrealtor
      @shelleygreyrealtor 2 роки тому +3

      Kinda, but not really. 50% of marriages fail and I believe most of those people had doubts early on. So to me it shows their level of vulnerability and how confident they are in their marriage.

    • @ClittoralWombatShits
      @ClittoralWombatShits 5 місяців тому

      Ever tried to have sex with a wallet? Didn’t think so. 😆

    • @godsdozer
      @godsdozer 3 місяці тому

      @@shelleygreyrealtor 50 percent do fail, but 97 percent of men loose in their vow to the government when it does end. Remember men, you may love your wife and she may love you, but you stand before a state court (not a preacher) if it doesn't work out whether it's your fault, her fault or both of your faults.

  • @carolsmith2699
    @carolsmith2699 2 роки тому +68

    Andrew would not be calling if the soon to be wife was the one making more money.

    • @TheFlyingZulu
      @TheFlyingZulu 2 роки тому +6

      The wife could make more; it's never mentioned and he might be calling because she doesn't want to share with him. Have you ever thought about that? It's probably not the case, I know, but it could be. lol

    • @AprilLuedecke
      @AprilLuedecke 2 роки тому +2

      Bingo!

    • @texan903
      @texan903 2 роки тому +3

      No, because in that case, Andrea would be calling in instead.

    • @woodside4life
      @woodside4life 6 місяців тому +1

      @@TheFlyingZuluNah.

    • @kristencampbell5533
      @kristencampbell5533 3 місяці тому +1

      Not necessarily. Sometimes people call saying that it's unfair their spouse is making them pay for half the bills when that other spouse makes substantially more money.

  • @davidrames5896
    @davidrames5896 2 роки тому +60

    Spot on! My wife and I have a saying in our home. "Every dollar earned, is everyone's dollar" It is all combined, and It goes where it needs to.

  • @freddiebutler3653
    @freddiebutler3653 2 роки тому +9

    My x-wife always want a Joint checking account but she had a spending problem ,and I did not want not want to have a joint account with her knowing that she couldn't keep her balance in the plus!

  • @swannyriver75
    @swannyriver75 2 роки тому +18

    If you're feeling uncomfortable about finances while being engaged speak up right now don't play games with it because once you say I do its a whole different ball game have the conversation now about how you feel about bills and money its a sensitive topic but you have to talk about it

  • @alrbredwall
    @alrbredwall 2 роки тому +29

    This is why america is in trouble. When you are married you don't split anything. You pay your collective bills togethor. Period. This idea that we are married but we are paying our own bills and doing our own thing is why divorce rates are so high now. This guy is not ready to get married.

    • @annasimons389
      @annasimons389 2 роки тому +4

      thank you!!

    • @kirkraszman7998
      @kirkraszman7998 2 роки тому +3

      I agree.

    • @williambetzelberger6128
      @williambetzelberger6128 2 роки тому +3

      Amen!

    • @aolvaar8792
      @aolvaar8792 2 роки тому

      I pay for everything, and my wife's money is Her's
      My leftovers are still more.

    • @alinatamashevich3354
      @alinatamashevich3354 2 роки тому

      Close, the divorce rate is so high because women gain money and prizes from divorce. They have NO incentive to stay married, NONE.

  • @joreyn7656
    @joreyn7656 2 роки тому +166

    When my husband and I first got married, I was making more money than he was. I made a job change, and he ended up making more money than I was. I am now a stay at home mom, bringing in no income, and the only income is my husbands. Through it all any money that we brought in was our money and it didn't matter who earned what. I think Dave is right and this is the better way to go.

    • @annat6249
      @annat6249 2 роки тому +5

      The problem is those who concern about who make more and therefore want more benefit from a marriage to make things fair. This is a sign of bad marriage or marriage with little love. One can make more money for now does not necessarily make more later. If that person face some kind of unexpected event like unemployment or sickness, income will be close to none. This show someone selfishness.
      I experienced this. I held back my career because as a woman I don’t want to put down man ego and at some point to have to slow down when I have kids. My ex bring this “I make more money than you” into finance fairness marriage discussions. I then knew how much he loved me. Along with other selfishness issue, I left. I let my career grow and I make twice as much as my ex after that. I am a working mom now and I still make much more than he is. People these days are too much into money. Find a capable partner, then u don’t have to worry about him/her being future loser.

    • @journeytothevoid2899
      @journeytothevoid2899 2 роки тому +2

      Unfortunately, most women do not want to sign up for what you just explained depending on the timeline of events. Women want a guy who is already established typically. How long did your husband take to take on the financial burden of the family. Women will let a guy under 30 to not have it all figured out but after that they want a guy to be established.

    • @joreyn7656
      @joreyn7656 2 роки тому +2

      @@journeytothevoid2899 probably about a year. I was working a job that involved travel, and didn't want to be away all the time on business after we were married so I transitioned to a different job that earned a little less. Around the same time he got a promotion that made it so he was earning about what I had made before. We basically swapped places in terms of income. 😊

    • @amesasw
      @amesasw 2 роки тому +2

      @@journeytothevoid2899 seems kind of normal for peoples expectations of a spouse to be higher as they age. If a person isnt fiscally stable well into your 30s they probably have some bagage a good amount of people wont want to deal with.

    • @quychang4471
      @quychang4471 2 роки тому +1

      @@joreyn7656 Sounds like you swindled him.

  • @AimeePoppinBabies
    @AimeePoppinBabies 2 роки тому +47

    My husband makes considerably more than I do but it's a joint deal. I cook, clean and honestly I'm a bit domestic despite working part time but it works incredibly well for us. I don't know about this guy, if you want things to be 50/50 cut with a steak knife then don't get married - get a room mate. 😳

    • @mattschmitt9924
      @mattschmitt9924 2 роки тому +9

      That housework is worth something. It is money that you don't have to pay out. One of the best ways to save in my opinion is to take care of yourself as much as possible. If you are your own maid, mechanic, handyman, etc... You will go further. Good on you!

    • @mikewright2858
      @mikewright2858 2 роки тому +7

      I don't think it's fair to paint every marriage with the same broad brush. The fact is that 50% of marriages fail, and I bet most of those marriages still have joint accounts. People manage money in different ways, and to insist everyone do it one specific way, and a way that doesn't have a great track record, is a little short-sighted IMO.

    • @d_all_in
      @d_all_in 2 роки тому +3

      Nothing wrong with domestic. Don't say it like you're ashamed.

    • @boredoreos
      @boredoreos 2 роки тому

      I'm in the same boat, but my wife makes double what I do.

    • @DavidRamseyIII
      @DavidRamseyIII 2 роки тому +1

      @@boredoreos you’re living the dream!

  • @F95GHomestead
    @F95GHomestead 2 роки тому +55

    My husband started paying for me the week I moved in as dating, I was working but made way less. Now im a stay-at-home mom with 16 acres he bought for us and It has been a dream

    • @Embodied.bliss.somatics
      @Embodied.bliss.somatics 2 роки тому +2

      ❤❤❤

    • @allthingsmaloney5634
      @allthingsmaloney5634 2 роки тому +1

      The dream 😍

    • @andreamichelle1
      @andreamichelle1 2 роки тому +3

      @@loverules5118 When my husband had to have surgeries, he was paid as if he went to work regardless of how much time was needed off. All jobs aren't the same and some families pre-plan for situations like this.

    • @SalisburySnake
      @SalisburySnake 2 роки тому +1

      @@loverules5118 Preparing for unlikely events has almost nothing to do with one income vs. two. You could both be in a car wreck and unable to work at any moment.

    • @ajones8008
      @ajones8008 2 роки тому

      must be nice

  • @joncook8548
    @joncook8548 2 роки тому +49

    We joined our finances the first month of marriage. It's been the best thing for our budgeting! Combining everything made it so easy and has kept us both on the same page. Get over your ego and work together!

    • @larissagonzales6075
      @larissagonzales6075 2 роки тому

      exactly that really shows you have a lover, not a roommate that you don't trust.

    • @666dr
      @666dr 7 місяців тому

      It's not about your ego Cook...It's about protecting your arse...

    • @joncook8548
      @joncook8548 7 місяців тому

      How does it protect you? They still get half regardless if you share your checking account or not LOL @@666dr

  • @stendec-dd3he
    @stendec-dd3he 2 роки тому +45

    He's not listening nor wanting to grasp the concept, so he should probably stay single and take care of 'his' money.

    • @jeff-wv8te
      @jeff-wv8te 2 роки тому +3

      Nothing wrong with that

    • @stendec-dd3he
      @stendec-dd3he 2 роки тому +2

      @@jeff-wv8te agreed

    • @drea4195
      @drea4195 2 місяці тому

      I hope he took Dave's advice.

  • @99SigP
    @99SigP 2 роки тому +141

    I can't imagine having separate accounts. One of the first things we did after my wife and I got married was close our accounts and open a joint account where 100% of her income and mine go into that account. The whole point of a marriage is to combine everything and build a life together. Y'all can disagree with me, but I think it's weird to have separate finances. It contradicts the entire purpose of getting married.

    • @Erica-wz8yv
      @Erica-wz8yv 2 роки тому +14

      I agree with you 💯 Husband and I do the same.

    • @t206kid
      @t206kid 2 роки тому +13

      Typically I would agree, but with the divorce rates these days people although married are still scared to combine finances.

    • @jlynnc9559
      @jlynnc9559 2 роки тому +10

      38 years together and the minute we were engaged it became we and ours.

    • @mikewright2858
      @mikewright2858 2 роки тому +7

      @@t206kid True, my second wife and I married in our late 40's, early 50's and we both are already pretty well established. We have a joint account, but separate also, and honestly have not had any issues with "sharing the dream". It's worked pretty well so far.

    • @dagobert1234321
      @dagobert1234321 2 роки тому +18

      @@t206kid if you are scared to combine finances, this is the first sign that the person is not marriage material

  • @AndTeeter
    @AndTeeter 2 роки тому +3

    my in-laws have separate accounts. they sound ridiculous arguing over who is paying for dinner. My wife and I talk about how silly that sounds all the time. I mean, if the lights are gonna be turned off, will he really say "nope, you spent all your money on groceries this month. the power is just gonna have to be turned off"

  • @jstar1000
    @jstar1000 2 роки тому +21

    I've been married 30 years and we have always had one checking and one savings account all our money goes in them and pays the bills, no splitting of anything its all ours and we both make money. We have never ever fought over money issues.

  • @robn.7426
    @robn.7426 2 роки тому +44

    It never occurred to my wife or I to have separate accounts 30 years ago when we got married. We have two married adult children and both have separate accounts from their spouses. Times have changed for better or worse.
    I imagine either can work, but you better be deciding how the money is spent as a team and with no secrets, or trouble is headed your way eventually. Besides that, it's hard to build intimacy with your spouse if your not willing to allow them into every aspect of your life.

    • @24collin24Collin
      @24collin24Collin 2 роки тому +3

      It's not working, your kids are just lying about their relationship or don't care about it.

    • @carlaritchie331
      @carlaritchie331 2 роки тому +2

      I suspect it's the high divorce rate, low trust marriage environment that creates fear in fully committing to share all aspects of life and be vulnerable, even in the financial partnership of marriage.

    • @truth.speaker
      @truth.speaker 2 роки тому +3

      My wife and I have both joint and separate accounts. It works brilliant and we are generous with eachother

    • @jaymepechan2115
      @jaymepechan2115 Рік тому

      My wife and I have done separate accounts for 20 years and it worked fine for us. I don’t think we ever saw it connected to intimacy and especially don’t now. For us, it was a very effective way to deal with two very different approaches to money. If we had combined it, I suspect it would have led to a lot of unnecessary arguments and put a strain on our marriage. The way we have done it, it has removed it as an issue at all in our marriage.

    • @latachia_2981
      @latachia_2981 2 місяці тому

      @@jaymepechan2115 I agree! It works for us too. We do have each others name on the accounts,( sometimes he has me use his debit card for something, but,other than that, we just spend out of our own account. We pay our own bills & that way no issues with the money.

  • @Evolve816
    @Evolve816 2 роки тому +7

    This comment section is only providing half truths and not the whole story when it comes to marriage and combining finances.
    I'll say that there are several unique circumstances for each marriage. Let's not act like the 50% rate of divorces did not have several marriages who actually shared accounts mutually in the history of US divorces and it didn't help the cause in the end.
    Some ways work for others while some dont its as simple as that.
    Now With that being said for me personally, initially, we did not combine all of our accounts due to debts we both had and felt that it would be easier to manage, however, we are working on combining all accounts because we realize that for our situation now it doesn't make much sense to have separate accounts.
    People need to stop putting in the air that just because a married couple does not share some or all accounts that they shouldn't be married. I would question your actual values if you think that way.

    • @latachia_2981
      @latachia_2981 2 місяці тому

      You are right. One size does not fit all.

  • @louisk319
    @louisk319 2 роки тому +6

    Admit it, you chuckled when dave said ‘wewe’

  • @codys5727
    @codys5727 2 роки тому +31

    Dave isn't your therapist. Do what works best for you and your spouse. If money comes from this or that account it isn't as important as being in agreement to how to allocate funds.

  • @eatpigsnot
    @eatpigsnot 2 роки тому +15

    so many couples had a wedding yet don't have a marriage

  • @EH-ro8dn
    @EH-ro8dn 2 роки тому +35

    First sign you might want to pause on marriage: going into a “combining” activity with “separation” thoughts.

  • @deanalbertson7203
    @deanalbertson7203 2 роки тому +1

    If you have separate checking accounts, one option is that you take turns paying the mortgage. January me, February you.

  • @Mihogan
    @Mihogan 2 роки тому +22

    Such a strange question. And a lot of people think like this today, for some reason. Why be married and keep things separate?

    • @estyria777
      @estyria777 2 роки тому +4

      I think, but don't know, that it might be motivated by a little voice in their heads saying "This is mine not yours." Meaning, they aren't all in on the marriage, which... that raises all kinds of red flags for the health and wellbeing of the marriage long-term. Theoretically, it could tie in to a more selfish outlook on marriage as well. The "What do I get from this?" "How does this benefit me?" mentality. Now I know for some people there is also previous financial abuse from their parents or a past relationship, so they aren't willing to risk that again, but that also means they have some healing and probably some couple's counseling that they could benefit from.

    • @susanedghill609
      @susanedghill609 2 роки тому +1

      seems strange too that you are living with the fiancee for two years and not married.....is it possible the guy is unsure all around ?

    • @estyria777
      @estyria777 2 роки тому +1

      @@susanedghill609 It's possible, in which case the marriage should not move forward until those issues are resolved, but society has normalized 100% the concept of living with someone prior to the "I do's" which does introduce risk to each person, as Dave has explained on numerous occasions. Owning a house with a deceased fiance's parents for example. Society does not discuss THAT at all.

    • @texan903
      @texan903 2 роки тому

      @@susanedghill609 couples have lived together for far longer than this one, and still aren't married.

  • @ianmowbray3284
    @ianmowbray3284 2 роки тому +26

    When you are married and you are Uncomfortable with a joint account then there is something going on that’s more than the money.

    • @kaydendressler4469
      @kaydendressler4469 Рік тому +2

      I completely disagree with that you’re two separate people it’s easier to manage yourself than it is to manage yourself and another person and it takes away from getting mad at each other for spending money that was not discussed separate is way better same reason you have two different toothbrushes you don’t share toothbrushes😂

    • @jrey1
      @jrey1 Рік тому +1

      ​@@kaydendressler4469 exactly. As long as we each pay our share of bills, i don't care what my wife buys, she doesn't care what i buy. Plain and simple

    • @godsdozer
      @godsdozer 3 місяці тому

      Yes, there is something going on...........men are waking up to the system (divorce courts, especially when there are children involved).

  • @brianparrett114
    @brianparrett114 2 роки тому +46

    Lots of marriages end in divorce, would be interesting to hear Dave talk about the financial aspects of that. Would be interesting to know how many people stay in abusive relationships because they don't have their own money and don't control the household finances. I've heard the difficulty women have after they've been stay at home moms who suddenly find themselves as a single parent with no job experience.

    • @mattschmitt9924
      @mattschmitt9924 2 роки тому +16

      I was a stay at home dad for years. I did not lose my knowledge and skills. If you come out the other side and know nothing, you probably knew nothing going into it. Nobody's fault but your own.

    • @BitterComments
      @BitterComments 2 роки тому +9

      The more common issue is getting divorced due to money problems, which data shows are more prevalent when couples maintain separate finances. You’re more likely to have a problem due to not combining finances than due to not having “your own money.”

    • @armandm.2166
      @armandm.2166 2 роки тому +2

      I agree. Most of what Dave is talking about is the event it actually works out! Lol if they get divorced, that is a whole different set of problems. Also depending on what state they are both in.

    • @l.v.6384
      @l.v.6384 2 роки тому +11

      @@armandm.2166 if you think you would get a divorce then you should not get married.

    • @larissagonzales6075
      @larissagonzales6075 2 роки тому +3

      This is again why both should know what is going on with the money. If you budget have goals you should have money in the bank and if something happens you should be fine. If you are unaware of what is going on that is when problems start to happen. In today's world, there is no reason to not have some skills or work from home even if it's part-time or have some side business. You could literally make money being an influencer posting dumb things.

  • @CaseyBurnsInvesting
    @CaseyBurnsInvesting 2 роки тому +62

    If you’re uncomfortable sharing money there’s a deeper problem with how someone is handling money.

    • @TheAgentmigs
      @TheAgentmigs 2 роки тому +9

      There's nothing wrong with financial autonamy though.

    • @MR3DDev
      @MR3DDev 2 роки тому +6

      I am lucky to earn enough that my wife can stay at home but we still have separate account. Her family is always asking for money, I can only support the two of us and she is usually to kind to say no to her relatives.

    • @alrbredwall
      @alrbredwall 2 роки тому

      Amen

    • @zanenewsom1152
      @zanenewsom1152 2 роки тому +7

      @@TheAgentmigs if you are single there isn't, if you are married there is.

    • @Joenzinator
      @Joenzinator 2 роки тому +10

      @@TheAgentmigs Being married and financially autonomous are conflicting ideas. Just don't get married if you want separate finances.

  • @carlaritchie331
    @carlaritchie331 2 роки тому +16

    Great explanation of the 'why' and advantages of combining finances into a joint account in marriage. Thank you.

  • @AuzzieNick
    @AuzzieNick 2 роки тому +14

    Lol the look on daves face 😂 just pure confusion

  • @love4stamps
    @love4stamps 2 роки тому +12

    Ugh....🙄🙄🙄🤣🤣🤣 you don't wanna combine anything don't get married easy as that, but it's so weird people always wanna share their DNA but never finances it's dumb

  • @BSCTrainerRob
    @BSCTrainerRob 2 роки тому +23

    my parents are not only separate but my dad runs a business and my mom has virtually no clue or any say in his business operations. she is perpetually broke day to day but will retire soon because of what he has built for the two of them. she's horrible with money she makes about 40k and saves nothing (she does pay for groceries and some bills).. and he is pragmatic and extremely diligent with money. it has worked for them

    • @maryjones6115
      @maryjones6115 2 роки тому +5

      What has worked for them? That his business is separate from the marriage $$? It should be. That your mom pays for groceries and some bills and your dad saved and now they will both retire together some day? Should be interesting once your mom no longer has an income and is spending your dad´s $....maybe they could have joined their finances at the beginning and your mom take a course on budgeting etc. I think they are in for some frustating days ahead. Hope not.

    • @smartcookie3500
      @smartcookie3500 2 роки тому +2

      Sounds like it worked out better for her.

    • @montymython754
      @montymython754 2 роки тому +7

      That doesn’t sound like it worked out at all. If they had been operating as a team, maybe she could have learned some finance skills and they could have resolved their differences in counseling. The challenges could have forced improvement. Now your dad is just liable for her anyway, but this whole time she hasn’t learned how to manage money with him and they’re probably headed for some really rough times as a result.

    • @mikemcbeth3216
      @mikemcbeth3216 2 роки тому

      When he dies you better takeover

    • @BSCTrainerRob
      @BSCTrainerRob 2 роки тому

      @@montymython754 nah they pretty happy

  • @carlaritchie331
    @carlaritchie331 2 роки тому +12

    Full transparency in marriage is a sign of a healthy relationship. I have known many couples where a spouse died and the widow/widower had no clue about even the basics of their finances. It should be a joint endeavor with both partners fully informed.

    • @readerbabe1984
      @readerbabe1984 2 роки тому

      My MIL was like that. Her husband died three years before I met her. She was angry with him for years. I can not believe how financially clueless she is. She is 70 and.can't afford to quit working even with her SSI benefits.

  • @rachellebrooke4614
    @rachellebrooke4614 2 роки тому +10

    “Sharing our genetics” !!!! Well said Rachel! People understand that they share genetics when they get married and have children, but why don’t they understand that same concept about finances?!

    • @naokihasegawa9243
      @naokihasegawa9243 2 роки тому

      My guess would be that putting money in the bank account don’t make ppl moan😂

  • @ranran2218
    @ranran2218 2 роки тому +4

    I'm married and make about 15k more than my wife and we just split the bills. We throw money into a joint account and all out bills get pulled from there. My car is paid off and hers isn't but it gets paid out of the joint acct. We are a team and both pay everything.

  • @theyjustwantyourmoney4539
    @theyjustwantyourmoney4539 2 роки тому +14

    It looks like they have second thoughts about their relationship, this is a time bomb 💣

  • @ghostyplans
    @ghostyplans 2 роки тому +15

    As a SAHM, my husband is the breadwinner, and we share all accounts. But the budget tells us how to spend the money in the account, and TBH, I’ve been having a hard time staying within the grocery budget, and we’re working on that together. My husband and I work on the budget and money together.

    • @katemiller7874
      @katemiller7874 2 роки тому +1

      Food is very expensive. It is difficult to stay in a budget when you cook every night

    • @drea4195
      @drea4195 2 місяці тому

      @@katemiller7874 It's even more difficult to stay on a budget when you buy restaurant or takeout every night. Cooking at home is the most economical way.

  • @tha073926
    @tha073926 2 роки тому +23

    I never understood this concept when people get married and still have this mentality where your money is yours and my money is mine. That makes everything so complicated and honestly sounds like a toxic relationship. What happens when you have kids? I don't know the ladies name but 100% agree with everything she said.

    • @kokoskokso
      @kokoskokso 2 роки тому +3

      to me this is like yes in health but no in sickness. and these "separately" thinking relationships do end up separating more often than not, since it's more using than giving imho.

    • @bartlemi5
      @bartlemi5 2 роки тому +3

      The term "toxic relationship" is banded around with such reckless abandon these days. Jesus wept.

    • @tdot8398
      @tdot8398 2 роки тому +2

      Some women have such bad money habits that he can't risk her F'ing up everything he works for or vice versa. Theu may love each other but one may be more responsible than the other & has to be in more control of the resources before they both end up in the poor house

    • @dsr8223
      @dsr8223 2 роки тому +3

      "The lady" is Dave's daughter Rachel Ramsey Cruze. She is definitely on board with her dad ideas. Her husband also works for Ramsey Solutions, but not as an On-air. Personality.

    • @adoe2305
      @adoe2305 2 роки тому +2

      @@devilsadvocate7059 I think it's smart to have a little tail on the side too

  • @kara2162
    @kara2162 2 роки тому +49

    Agree with 90% of this, but I think seperate checking is great 😊 We line item everything in our budget and keep a certain amount of fun money every month in both of our individual checking accounts. It allows us to pull off small surprises for the other spouse.

    • @NB-nh2sf
      @NB-nh2sf 2 роки тому +5

      Agree. I had an old account When I was single. My budgeted spend money goes into my account. That way it is my separate spending and I don't over spend it.

    • @d_all_in
      @d_all_in 2 роки тому

      Also allows him to spend a little on his side chick without you noticing huh

    • @adoe2305
      @adoe2305 2 роки тому +2

      That makes sense. Or you want buy something for yourself that requires more than one month's line item.

    • @TheMagdielzuniga
      @TheMagdielzuniga 2 роки тому +1

      Two debit cards linking to same account does the same trick. Conforming to good advice despite your personal disagreement is a great quality of humility

    • @boredoreos
      @boredoreos 2 роки тому +6

      Surprise Honey! I bought a Lamborghini! No really, it's for US!

  • @darrinwright4800
    @darrinwright4800 2 роки тому +36

    I love Dave's expression when this caller ask the question of splitting the house payment.

  • @SensSword
    @SensSword 2 роки тому +8

    I think a hybrid approach is good. 80% in shared account. 10% to the husband for disposable. 10% to the wife for same.

  • @chrisforker7487
    @chrisforker7487 2 роки тому +21

    I’ve never understood why people keep things separate, either you’re greedy and want to make sure the other person knows you make more, or you’re hiding something.

  • @codygordon59
    @codygordon59 2 роки тому +6

    The house was bought as a premarital asset by the home buyer. That person has equity that the other doesn't. There is no reason to share one account. Have separate accounts

    • @SalisburySnake
      @SalisburySnake 2 роки тому +2

      That's usually not how it works (state laws vary). If he owes one more house payment after they get married, it's now split 50/50.

    • @aolvaar8792
      @aolvaar8792 2 роки тому

      @@SalisburySnake Unless you can prove that the payments come from premarital assets

    • @codygordon59
      @codygordon59 2 роки тому +2

      A prenuptial would be a good idea

    • @texan903
      @texan903 2 роки тому

      @@codygordon59 a prenup and a quit claim deed.

  • @dialac1
    @dialac1 2 роки тому +16

    Someone needs to tell Dave that the world and relationships are very different today compared to when he got married.

  • @MR3DDev
    @MR3DDev 2 роки тому +8

    What if the wife has a family that keeps asking her for money and I am the sole bread winner? I keep things separate cause she likes to give to relatives and I can only support the two of us.

    • @annasimons389
      @annasimons389 2 роки тому +1

      sounds like she needs to grow a spine. she shouldn't be making financial decisions with your money without discussing it together.

    • @sarrahconley3143
      @sarrahconley3143 2 роки тому +1

      I think seperate accounts for you. Because my parents had that going on. She may not know it. But it can be a mental illness. Do what works. Everyone doesn't have the same situation.

    • @probablynot1368
      @probablynot1368 2 роки тому +4

      You’re supporting the two of you so that she can help support her family? It sounds like your spouse (and her family) may be taking advantage of you.

    • @texan903
      @texan903 2 роки тому

      Set a cutoff date for monies being siphoned to her family, or tell her to get at least a part-time job if she insists on continuing the gifts.

  • @jpimp491
    @jpimp491 2 роки тому +27

    Oh man, my wife and I have a joint for bills and a joint for emergency fund. But we also have our own separate checking and savings. We put the same amount of $$$ in our joint for bills and if she makes more or vice verse it doesn’t matter it’s what we decided.

    • @mysticaccy
      @mysticaccy 2 роки тому +8

      Me too!!. my husband makes more but we still split half for morgate but he pays for all the utilities and i pay for car insurance and phone. if we ever are short on money for bills we are comfortable and okay to come to each other to ask for help. I prefer to have my own account because i buy stuff he thinks its ridiculous.. he buys collectables that I think are ridiculous with also but we laugh it off and as long as the bills are taken care of.

    • @maryjones6115
      @maryjones6115 2 роки тому +6

      You could do the same thing with a joint account. But, that would mean communicating. It´s hard. Particulary when one party wants to keep secrets from the other on what they are buying. Sad state marriage is in these days.

    • @montymython754
      @montymython754 2 роки тому

      @@maryjones6115 amen! Just look at what the commenter above you wrote: that she and her husband can “ask the other for help”. That’s not how a marriage works!!! Marriage means you both have skin in the game, equally.

    • @brittanyedwards6530
      @brittanyedwards6530 2 роки тому

      🤝

    • @mysticaccy
      @mysticaccy 2 роки тому +2

      @@montymython754 All it comes down is having a good communication with your spouse. If you feel the need to combine income good for you 👏, but dont go bashing other people as if you live in our house.

  • @craigcarter400
    @craigcarter400 2 роки тому +8

    It was very irritating to have a joint account with my ex spouse when I was married. I usually didn’t question anything she did unless it was more substantial amounts but if I went somewhere charging $5 you best believe I would hear about it.

    • @michellemorford349
      @michellemorford349 2 роки тому +2

      Doesn’t sound like you were on the same page with the spouse or doing a budget together to work things out.

    • @craigcarter400
      @craigcarter400 2 роки тому +4

      @@michellemorford349 I did do a budget together with her. Doesn’t keep one spouse from micromanaging the other.

    • @robloxvids2233
      @robloxvids2233 2 роки тому +3

      @@craigcarter400 And that's why it's good. It unearths rotten marriages. Probably 10 years earlier than had you used separate money.

  • @stevee8318
    @stevee8318 2 роки тому +5

    Separate finances make sense if both spouses work and earn about the same $$$, because there will never be a money dispute as each has their own discretionary funds left over after the shared expenses are paid. This arrangement worked great for my parents for their 40 year marriage. As long as you go into a marriage with a plan both people agree with, do whatever works for you. There is no single "right" way - two financially responsible people will be successful no matter what their specific arrangement is. I see a lot of judgmental nonsense in these comments.

    • @adoe2305
      @adoe2305 2 роки тому

      Who pays for dinner? But you ordered cocktails while i ordered water.
      What happens if one spouse has a large medical emergency?

    • @stevee8318
      @stevee8318 2 роки тому +1

      Take turns paying for dinner or pay for it out of the shared account. And health insurance and emergency funds, I'm not sure what you're asking. Just because you generally keep finances separate doesn't mean you wouldn't help eachother in an emergency.

    • @stevee8318
      @stevee8318 2 роки тому

      ​@@absolutetruth3290 You don't need to plan your life around hypothetical disasters that probably will never happen. In the unlikely event that they do, then you adjust.

  • @nickolonious
    @nickolonious 8 місяців тому +1

    Love when these guys call in trying to get their wife, who they supposedly love, to make sure they're getting 50% out of the expenses out of them.

    • @gorkyd7912
      @gorkyd7912 4 місяці тому

      Yes, we all know its a waste of time because women do not feel its their duty to support a family.

  • @DoctorSmartyPants
    @DoctorSmartyPants 2 роки тому +10

    Spouse and I have always had separate accounts, very unequal salaries, but we do not have the mentality of mine vs yours. The separate accounts work well for us...each of us manages a certain piece of the agreed budget and it really keeps things simple. Been working great for 18 years.

    • @DavidRamseyIII
      @DavidRamseyIII 2 роки тому

      18 years of being losers

    • @mrs.bdaycare5530
      @mrs.bdaycare5530 4 місяці тому

      Same with my marriage. Never had a problem with money. It works great for us

  • @gabe5892
    @gabe5892 2 роки тому

    See the problem with this advice for a single person like me is that if you're going to combine your finances with your spouse that means you have to be 10 times more picky when it comes to finding a partner. Please tell me how I'm going to find a woman my age that's actually responsible with money

    • @crystalsnow1138
      @crystalsnow1138 2 роки тому

      A lot of women are responsible with money.

  • @shanep2760
    @shanep2760 2 роки тому +6

    If you can't trust your spouse with your bank account then you probably shouldn't get married.

  • @moniquecaesar1350
    @moniquecaesar1350 2 роки тому +1

    Marriage is teamwork. Teamwork always makes the dream work!

  • @JustinCase780
    @JustinCase780 2 роки тому +13

    When they go to Wendy's he doesn't share one bit of his Frosty.

  • @xsgtxbigboy1655
    @xsgtxbigboy1655 8 місяців тому +1

    Just remember guys it’s only “we” when the guy calls or the guy makes majority of they money , when a girl cause “that’s your money not your husbands “ “your married to a broke guy” doesn’t that mean there both broke or??? All they care ab is the sex you are

  • @alexbecar977
    @alexbecar977 2 роки тому +5

    Simple solution, never get married to someone who makes a lot less than you if you love money, hech if you love money don't get married and have kids at all, marriage is a huge gamble for men these days

    • @kristentyler6537
      @kristentyler6537 2 роки тому

      For men ? It’s women making six figures and running circles around you men. It’s a gamble for women marry men who can’t lead a family

  • @olimphus26
    @olimphus26 2 роки тому +1

    If youre worried about divorce and her taking your money, make a prenup... or dont marry.

  • @JK-zt4ym
    @JK-zt4ym 2 роки тому +3

    Different people have different perspectives on what is a waste of money and what is not, separate accounts with a framework for combined spending and investing aleviates having to justify fairly mundane purchases.
    We currently decide what WE want to do. Then we decide how much each of us should invest to make it happen. The investment has to always be larger than the purchase. It works for us, Dave's approach definitely would not.

  • @tannerrienbolt3143
    @tannerrienbolt3143 2 роки тому +2

    This guy shouldn't get married lol

  • @mikeo8890
    @mikeo8890 Місяць тому +1

    There's nothing wrong with a 50/50 relationship, I refuse to pay off my wife credit cards anymore.

  • @michellbrown8633
    @michellbrown8633 2 роки тому +1

    I understand David’s sentiments but one size fits all money management is not how it works. I am married 20 plus years and we discuss how we should pay bills. Sometimes we split bills, other times we focus on which bills who will be responsible for. It depends on things going on in our financial life which evolves. My advise to anyone contemplating marriage is make sure your values concerning money align and there is equity in financial decisions. Put God first in your financial plan and you will succeed.

  • @annasimons389
    @annasimons389 2 роки тому +4

    this guy has to call a show to ask how to split the mortgage before marriage? first of all, you can't figure that out? second of all, you're already worried about this and you're not married? Ever thought about combining finances? What's mine is yours what's yours is mine? What is the point of marriage otherwise? this isn't going to turn out well... yeah no.

    • @animusanima3094
      @animusanima3094 2 роки тому +2

      This lady is better not to marry this self-centered guy. He is always trying to protect his own interest not the family and is not countable & reliable

    • @katilynwhitson3105
      @katilynwhitson3105 2 роки тому

      I have a feeling it's not "I can't figure out how to do this" and is instead "I want her to also pay 50% of all living expenses even though she won't be making 50% of the income".
      Usually this conversation only gets over-complicated when one partner is requesting the other to pay more than what would be considered their fair share. 🤷‍♀️

    • @texan903
      @texan903 2 роки тому

      @@animusanima3094 for all we know she could be a user who is marrying for money, taking advantage of this guy. He saw or sensed something that prompted him to call in.

  • @tommydukes1979
    @tommydukes1979 2 роки тому +1

    Marriage isn't what it used to be nor is it taking seriously anymore.. look at the divorce rate.Don't combine bank accounts or you may be very sorry.

  • @arga400
    @arga400 2 роки тому +4

    Separate finances can work, but it needs for both parties to make a similar amount of money and for both of them to remain working when kids come.
    Otherwise it builds resentment or creates a situation where one party can abuse the other with ease.

  • @summerforever6736
    @summerforever6736 2 роки тому +1

    Used to be like that maybe 60 years ago!
    Now days forget it!

  • @carojames6776
    @carojames6776 Рік тому

    What a weird question.

  • @dannystranahan1004
    @dannystranahan1004 2 роки тому +7

    I used to agree on everything Davis saying right now, until I get divorced. I agree you should take care of your wife but you still have to have protection just in case.

  • @cathy7824
    @cathy7824 2 роки тому +6

    Our bank stuff is separate but we have zero bills, not even a mortgage. We both make good money and we love being at home. If something needs buying we buy it. I buy sewing machines and he buys guns.

  • @globescape4771
    @globescape4771 2 роки тому +1

    They are already living together. Slow moving train wreck.

  • @gibblespascack1418
    @gibblespascack1418 2 роки тому +14

    We were adults when we got married. I had a house and since that was my house, my wife needed a different house. So, it was easy, if you want a different house, buy it, and pay the mortgage. So I paid the down payment(20%), she purchased the house(Pays the mortgage) and I paid the land and school taxes(NY). My house was sold and that profit went into the our brokerage account(for new house rebuild). Now 16 years later, we need to move closer to her job, so I got the mortgage for the new house, the current house will be sold, and that should pay off new mortgage, and I will still pay land and school tax. So our combined house will be debt free. She pays phone, garbage, I pay electricity, taxes etc. Since we both work, this works for us. When one of us is out of a job, the other pays everything, but we set up our house to run on one income so job loss is not a problem.

    • @trainsandlocomotives
      @trainsandlocomotives 2 роки тому

      Vary Smart! 👍

    • @d_all_in
      @d_all_in 2 роки тому +2

      Sounds incredibly and unnecessarily complicated

    • @gibblespascack1418
      @gibblespascack1418 2 роки тому

      @@d_all_in That is what happens when a Pharma Research Scientist(with an MBA) and an engineer(with an MBA) get together. Yes she is the structural engineer. We are not the average couple.

    • @d_all_in
      @d_all_in 2 роки тому

      @@gibblespascack1418 you're cringey af bro

    • @gibblespascack1418
      @gibblespascack1418 2 роки тому

      @@d_all_in It works for us.

  • @ihazdabomb101
    @ihazdabomb101 2 роки тому +4

    ”Ok I think I get it…but who pays for the mortgage though?”

    • @latachia_2981
      @latachia_2981 2 місяці тому

      He never answered the question, but if you do it his way, since everything is combined, you both are paying it, because everything is combined, everything is coming out of the same account,

  • @Fishingfanatic88
    @Fishingfanatic88 2 роки тому +1

    Women need to respect their husbands husband's effort if he is the only one making the money...to many take advantage.

  • @kstar1956
    @kstar1956 2 роки тому +1

    Disagree about the accounts. They don’t have to be a secret, they could have multiple checking or saving accounts under one main account for personal things they may want individually.

  • @jessezuli
    @jessezuli 2 роки тому +2

    a combined joint account is a good idea under the assumption that both partners are financially educated and reliable. if one person's blows their entire paycheck on beauty supplies and self care products, then there's going to be friction from both of them.

  • @sevynjensen6760
    @sevynjensen6760 2 роки тому +1

    I think he makes more money and doesn't want to "combine" the money lol.

  • @Michael-ft9pm
    @Michael-ft9pm 2 роки тому +1

    ugh this gives me a headache. Just stay single.

  • @luminous6969
    @luminous6969 2 роки тому

    If the wife is the one making substantially more money, she probably hates Dave Ramsey now after hearing this advice.

  • @robertthompson5908
    @robertthompson5908 4 місяці тому +1

    This guy sounds like he’ll be a crappy husband.

  • @Jswilk830
    @Jswilk830 Рік тому +1

    It is interesting to me how the mindset on marriage is separate money and questioning who pays what bills… We’ve been married 18years this year and when we decided to get married it became all ours together… We work together in order to make a good life for each other and now leaving a legacy for our son…

  • @coleworld904
    @coleworld904 2 роки тому +6

    Wife and I have separate accounts and one joint account for bills/trips such as this.

  • @JessicaMillerNashville
    @JessicaMillerNashville Рік тому +1

    Thank you for answering this question in this manner. If people want separate bank accounts and to monitor who earns more and how to split it, my opinion is just don’t get married.

    • @gorkyd7912
      @gorkyd7912 4 місяці тому

      Some people are bad with money but if they can be honest with themselves it works fine. My wife and I are very frugal but I'm terrible with cash. I used to give $100 bills to beggars or as tips fairly regularly, although our income was under $50k. So when we had cash it went into her wallet, and I was fine with that since I still had access to all bank accounts.

  • @martinmi5
    @martinmi5 3 місяці тому

    To the caller and all the guys, NEVER EVER get married! It’s just a legal trap for you to lose out big time. Buy your own house and I really don’t suggest having kids. Having kids ties you to a woman for the rest of your life whether you want that or not. Don’t be fooled by a pretty face or a nice body, she’s not going to look like that for very long. Stay single and date as many women as you want or don’t want. You will keep your freedom, money, house, cars and peace of mind. Marriage should be outlawed. Good luck guys, stay safe and happy 😊

  • @Jammeyer
    @Jammeyer 2 роки тому +5

    Get a joint account for family expenses: example mortgage, utilities, insurance, etc. Keep your own account for money to buy things you want. Clothes, activities, gifts for each other, etc. My dad and step mom do this and have been married for 27 years.

  • @xraypluto5262
    @xraypluto5262 2 роки тому +7

    I get this guy was asking for Dave’s opinion, but I do feel like this one is a personal choice. I have a friend and him and his wife have a joint account they put money into to make the monthly payments and retirement funds exc. but they keep their separate accounts for their daily spending. I don’t think there is anything wrong with that.

    • @random-nz7dy
      @random-nz7dy 2 роки тому

      My devil's advocate would be that just because such a system works for somebody that you know that doesn't mean it's the best advice to give to married people or engaged people.
      It also doesn't mean that therefore we shouldn't communicate the advantage of one system over the other.
      A separated approach is the way that most people operate their marriages these days. Divorce rates are superbly high. So what an awesome make intuitive sense to say that maybe it's logical to consider that a non "current approach" may in fact be best?

    • @SalisburySnake
      @SalisburySnake 2 роки тому

      It makes zero sense to start separate though. If you both want to spend money with no questions asked (AND CAN AFFORD IT), put an allowance for each in the budget and take it from the already joined money.

  • @dawnt5587
    @dawnt5587 2 роки тому

    The whole joint everything is very perplexing to me. How do you agree on everything? You want nice clothes. He could care less and buys his clothes at Walmart. He wants an expensive vehicle but you see it as a waste of money. We make roughly the same amount of money but how does that work if one person doesn’t make much? I was raised you should be an equal and not a dependent.

  • @JefferyHunt
    @JefferyHunt 2 роки тому +1

    The concept that married people have separate money is so bizarre, completely foreign, and sounds like a disaster.

    • @wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303
      @wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 2 роки тому

      I think it is pretty forward thinking. You make money, you contribute. It is more transparent as one can see how much each is contributing. When things get piled up, one can easily slack off.

    • @JefferyHunt
      @JefferyHunt 2 роки тому

      @@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 If you’re keeping score, you’re doing it wrong.

    • @wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303
      @wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 2 роки тому

      @@JefferyHunt Hey, I am not going down with the train wreck. Stay true to old marriage values and you will always be struggling. Good luck!

  • @martinmi5
    @martinmi5 3 місяці тому

    I will still listen to Dave and Rachel, but never again Hades Jade or George Camel Toe. I’m not a fan of Dr. John Bologna or Kimmie Coleman either

  • @umpalumpaian170
    @umpalumpaian170 2 роки тому +1

    Shark tank does a thing where they bring people on with joke products to make people laugh
    I feel like this call goes alongside that idea

  • @TheFlyingZulu
    @TheFlyingZulu 2 роки тому +5

    As for the callers' question about one spouse making "substantially" more than the other... That's where a prenup comes into play.

  • @Ari_Kys_Boutique
    @Ari_Kys_Boutique 2 роки тому +1

    It's still best to have your own personal account also.

  • @mikeshaw4610
    @mikeshaw4610 2 роки тому

    Why are they not already marriage if they have been living together that long.

  • @sheryl7837
    @sheryl7837 27 днів тому

    I love Dave’s thinking and the financial plan for married couples he promotes. My ex husband never learned the “we” pronoun. He was always “I” or “me.” That is one reason he is the ex. My precious second and forever husband is totally in agreement with Dave’s teachings bc it is from the Bible. The Bible never changes. ☺️

  • @stevenbaxter5601
    @stevenbaxter5601 2 роки тому +1

    This guy is still at the same place.
    Not yet married. Well ....

  • @AmberCaprie
    @AmberCaprie 2 роки тому +2

    This is an ideal marriage plan. Unfortunately, this doesn't work for all marriages. If you have someone that is selfish or doesn't want to budget, it will quickly bury you in a hole.

    • @atlascormac6273
      @atlascormac6273 2 роки тому +3

      The idea is to figure out if the spouse is selfish before getting married

    • @SalisburySnake
      @SalisburySnake 2 роки тому

      In that case your future wealth is ruined anyway. No accounting system fixes selfish people.

  • @JenRoxRat
    @JenRoxRat 2 роки тому

    haha did this guy never listen to the show in his life? Why even call to ask that question?

  • @Chromewarrior
    @Chromewarrior 2 роки тому +1

    Why get married if you can’t figure this out?

  • @AEvans36963
    @AEvans36963 2 роки тому +1

    The problem is some people go into marriage with different attitudes about money. It is not advisable to marry a person who does not have a healthy relationship with money or is not responsible with it unless they show a willingness to address their issues in a productive way. Sounds to me like Dave is having doubts about going to the altar. He's afraid of a potentially painful and expensive divorce. He doesn't want to suffer a big loss from maybe losing a house he helped pay for.

  • @sierra7534
    @sierra7534 13 днів тому

    As someone who's had split finances and separate finances with my wife of 15 years - sitting down and doing a budget and going over our money twice a week from our joint accounts is some of our favorite times together. I'll never do split accounts ever again. No surprise that the yeeeears we spent with split finances are the ones we didn't succeed financially.

  • @jkbc
    @jkbc 2 роки тому +1

    when everything is good and when the couple are getting along they will say mi casa su casa, but when they start disliking each other the terms will change to my money is not yours.

  • @2k3SteedaGT
    @2k3SteedaGT 3 місяці тому

    Wife: “I think I should stay home with our children while they’re young”
    This guy: “Welp, looks like you won’t have an income anymore babe. I’ll start keeping a tab so that you can pay me back once you’re done raising them”

  • @1014ewillis
    @1014ewillis 2 місяці тому

    My husband and I do what Rachel said. We each have a line item in the bidget that we can spend on whatever we want. We can save our individual line item budget to get something big we want or just soend it on small stuff. Everything else is budgeted for our household. And yes it all come out of one checking account