See, Mack, I bet you're really regretting all those moose you spun-kicked right about now, huh? They could have created a moose-and-carriage situation to get you out to California!
How can we make this happen? I'm in Australia and I wish I could come and help her! My Dads house had mice inside by the end, it was truly truly awful. My last memory of my childhood home was huddling on the laundry step with the family Christmas decorations, waiting to be picked up because it was raining and the moisture just made the mouse dropping smell inside intolerable.
I’ve started Swedish Death Cleaning this year. I’m 75 and do not want to leave a big mess for my daughter. That will be the best part of her inheritance.
It's important to do! they say your life flashes before your eyes before you die, but if you die in an instantaneous way that doesn't let your brain go out peacefully, why not review what you have before just in case?
Carla, you do so many declutter with friends sessions, why not have one of your friends be a support buddy for you for a change while you handle this enormous project? You could really benefit from emotional support while tackling this. ❤
I recommend getting one large Rubbermaid bin for yourself and each of your siblings for sentimental items. Realistically, everything else should probably go. Good luck! This is a huge project.
When my parents passed away I took absolutely nothing out of their home as I am already very blessed and did not need any more stuff. I left it all for my brother, he can do whatever he wants with the stuff.
@@scoutc315 OMG, My son did that. He is 42 now. I almost had a heart attack. He also flipped uoside down in his car seat when I turned a sharp corner because his father hadn't strapped it in. Back then, we kept kids in the front seat to give them a bottle if they needed one. When I was a kid, we didn't even have carseats or seatbelts. It's a wonder we all survived for sure.
This is a huge undertaking for one person. Sending you many hugs and good vibes. One suggestion I thought for next time is have a tote ready for Any photos or memorabilia and put that in the tote to go through later when you are ready to tackle it. That way you won’t get pulled into looking at sentimental items until you decide you are ready. You are doing awesome Carla!
This is hard to watch because I've been through it. Also, as a librarian who dealt with donations for a long time, please do not donate those books anywhere. Discard them. Recycle if possible, but sometimes that isn't even an option. Don't feel guilty! Bless you for this.❤
I'm a librarian as well. I know how attached people are to their books, but realistically, if it's not in very good condition or something very special, we don't have space for it either :) Exactly, recycling!
Putting them out on the edge of the lawn in a box marked free tends to get rid of them. But it depends on the neighborhood. Lots of dogwalkers and other pedestrians around here
Our library takes books to sell in their little shop. They also have a big book sale every year to raise money. Some of our thrift shops take them too. I’ve been getting rid of books as I declutter.
I could see it in your eyes and hear it in your voice that this was tough for you. What's great is that you are the perfect person for this job! You have all the skills to handle this! Cheering you on!!
My parents are deceased. Hoarders of antiques and collectables. My father passed away last right before covid. 3 years i couldnt touch anything. Im finally into the very last corner of stuff. I cant wait to be done by the end of this month. It has been a lot. Then on to my own stuff. Im so tired of stuff.
i wish i lived in LA so i could sit w u and hand u iced coffees and play w Samson so u didnt have to be alone doing this. My mother was a hoarder. I have prob moved her about 10 times in the last 15 years. My sis was the keeper of all the mom things but she just downsized and now i am the keeper. I have all her old records, the photos, my mothers art (which i am framing and displaying all over my house)her 50 years of journals. When she left independent living many years ago i had to go to NH alone, stay in a hotel (because her home was too depressing without her in it)and i sorted through all of her things to make sure nothing important to my family got thrown away. I know u prob wont see this but i highly recommend next time you go to bring a buddy, your family, anybody w u to support u. This is hard hard stuff. ty for sharing this journey, i can see from the comments many people can relate
Yes, I so relate to this. When I did the big Declutter in 2019 I stayed in the house but this time I can’t even spend a single night there. So I’ll just drive back-and-forth. Better for me to have my own space to come home too.I’ll have to see what friends I can rally to come help❤
@@TheCarlaProject Maybe a few of the people you have helped on your channel would be willing to come help you this time? Or if you and Mack ask your viewers, we could pay for plane tickets for him and a helper to come with him and a hotel -- would be an awesome collab video series!!
I had to do this 3 years ago after my Mother died, 50 years of stuff, everything randomly shoved all over the house and she never had got rid of anything, it was emotionally and physically so draining and took months. I’m 58 and I’m doing Swedish death cleaning now, no way I’m leaving my daughter with such a terrible task. Good luck Carla, just keep a few things you will use or really cherish. You could always just take a photo of your limbo champion glasses to remember them without physically keeping them.
When I lost my parents 30+ years ago, I got big plastic storage bins and put anything and everything I believed all seven of my siblings might want to keep. None of them had spoken to my mother in over 30 years (good reasons) and all had moved to other states. I was left here to care for her by myself and only because of a sense of duty. So when she died they all flew in just to help me. I'm thankful to all of them because we got to spend a few days together finally. I wrote each name on their container and then we all went through each one and reminisced about the old days growing up. Everything else either went to charity or the dumpster. It took three full days but just spending time with all my siblings make it worthwhile. It was literally the only time in our lives we had all been in the same room. Now I'm looking around my home and deciding what to save for my own children and what to get rid of. Don't leave a monumental task for your family to deal with. Please. ~♡~
I have found that as I sort through and find photos, albums and other sentimental items that it's easier to place that stuff in a special bin to go through later rather than get side tracked looking through it all. That way I can focus on clearing out the stuff that is a quick and easy decision for me to make and I don't lose my momentum. It's good that you have a game plan with the bulk pickup and dumpster scheduled. I know this is hard and emotionally draining beyond words. You are doing an amazing job.
I know that feeling of being overwhelmed with memories of your family members who have passed. If you can I would recommend not doing it alone. Having your family around you makes it more enjoyable bc you get to share those moments and remember the moments together and also create new memories. Makes its less melancholy.
I just went through this with a family member’s house I moved into last year after they passed. The garage looked exactly like your parents’ garage. Even down to the beer steins and wonky homemade wooden storage shelves that we’re definitely made of scrap wood… I’m pretty sure it traumatized me into minimalism lol wishing you the best of luck with this project ❤
I moved my mom and dad into my house in November, 2019. I started cleaning out their house a year prior by going through all their papers. They had paperwork dated back to 1980. It took me 6 months, 8 hours every Saturday. My mom at the time was able to help me weed through the paperwork and shred everything they did not need to keep and then I organized the remaining documents in labeled plastic containers. After that I cleaned out my dad's work room. It was 500 square feet piled high with tools, equipment, RC Airplanes and parts and a lot of trash. It took me 6 months, 8 hours every Saturday. I brought sellable items to my house and sold them. Gave money to my dad. At that time my dad had Parkinson's and was not able to control his hands. Then in June, 2021 my parents decided to put house on market. I called my mom an organized hoarder. She had 5 large closets packed, s paced she'd and a packed attic in garage. I spent every Saturday and Sunday 8 hours each day for a month packing all their stuff because my mom refused to let anything go. It took two 26 foot moving trucks to bring furniture and boxes to my house. Half of the furniture came into my house . the other half was stored in my 2 1/2 car garage with all boxes. It took me a year to go through boxes, help my mom decide what to keep, what to sell, what to give away and what to donate. I have never been a person to hold onto things. I declutter on a regular basis. If I haven't used something in a year, it's gone. I don't keep paperwork longer than 7 years except house papers and life insurance papers. I do not want to leave it behind for my children to handle.
Wow, that sounds like a lot of work! I’m sure your parents are very grateful that you were able to help them. I’m glad you are doing all this decluttering while they are still alive and can participate in the process with you.
Well done! ⭐️ My in-laws (78 & 82) have paperwork and belongings going back to the 1950s, they refuse to get rid of anything, refuse our help, refuse to downsize - it’s like a heavy weight hanging over us. We respect their wishes, and support their choices, but dread what we will have to deal with eventually. 🥺
One rule when you are doing this kind of clean up. Slick your hair back in a ponytail or cover your hair with a scarf or something and use a mask. All love ❤️
This is a hard go Carla. It’s not a regular decluttering session - emotions, grief, nostalgia etc. Don’t pressure yourself, take it in manageable chunks and plan food and good friends or family time around it so you are balancing the process ✨
This one was such a vibe. You cleaning out whats clearly all sentimental stuff with "oh baby its a wild world" falling down in front of you with that beautiful song playing. 😢 Dont forget these videos will catalog what youre seeing so even if you get rid of stuff, you can watch these videos back again! ❤
I know this is very difficult on a few levels and I’m sending positive vibes your way. Stay hydrated, remember to snack and eat, take plenty of breaks, and when you feel overwhelmed just walk away for awhile. ❤
I am so touched by this video. I feel your sadness when you had to go through all of your parents memories 😔but I also feel that your Mom is so proud of you to do this decluttering. ❤️
Oh sweetie! This really spoke to me.❤ I had to clean out my estranged father's apartment by myself when he passed and the entire process changed my life in so many ways. I'm now in the process of caring for my sick and elderly mother as well as slowly removing her things from the house. She has dementia, so she is not missing her items as much, but the process for me is so sad. Take your time and get some help if you need it.
I went through this 2yrs ago. My sister's handicapped and only I could do it. It felt like climbing a mountain. Thankfully my partner helped. The sentimental stuff was the hardest. I'd cry a lot. I hope you're finishing up
im 17 and i've been doing swedish death cleaning since i was 14 going on 15 lol 😆i can't wait to have my own house that only contains just the right amount of things so that I can appreciate them all and make sure they all have a specific place. I don't know why people buy and keep things that they don't use? Like i totally understand if it's sentimental value but my mom will literally buy multiple of the same beauty product, use like 1/3 of one container, and then keep the rest leaking out in a box or drawer for years on end, fighting me anytime i try to get her to throw stuff away. Being on the internet a lot my whole life has been detrimental to me in some ways, but I also find it's helped me to learn life lessons that other people spend a lot of years figuring out later on.
This video made me cry so much because I’m in the same boat as you. We lost my mom 2.5 years ago and she left so much crap for us to deal with. Anytime I start to declutter I instantly become sentimental and shed so many tears. You got this Carla, one trash bag at a time. ❤
"I love to declutter I just don't want bugs falling on my head." I mean, seems perfectly reasonable. Bless. I shared this video with my patrons because it demonstrates so clearly what can happen to priceless family memories. Such a great video - thank you for making it.
Zone the items. Put similar items together. Yup, collect all the photos. Remember the room you have in your place. Where will that item live? Get other people to help you. You got this!❤
None of that nonsense. Unless you already come to that junkpile with a clear idea of an item out of it that you want to own, don't even think of any of it as items. Just get the big dumpster and start tossing. This garage is barely a two-day job. Even the people who owned this pile didn't want most of it, which is why it is sitting in the garage, not in the house.
You can do this Carla! You’re right not to rush through the sentimental things, make those decisions later. My mom has been gone over 16 years and I still have some boxes stored away. Wish I could display things but the space doesn’t allow it, but I’m still not ready to let go. There’s no harm in waiting. My heart understands your emotions here. ❤
Carla, after quite a few decluttering adventures with your friends, it is an honor to be a witness/accountability buddy for you doing this for your family home. Maybe set up some critter deterrent systems so they can run away to another place? I've lived through a massive rat invasion. It can be done relatively quickly and not too expensively. I strongly recommend vinegar and a MASK!!!! Rat & mouse poop for someone with breathing issues are just no bueno! The music is always beautiful, and so are YOU!!!! ❤❤❤
It seems silly, but check with your local cat rescues. There are a few that will essentially rent out what could be considered barn cats - they'll hunt the rats out and they're spayed or neutered so you aren't increasing the local population. 😊
My parents sadly died young. Dad in 09 at 51 and Mum in 15 at 54. Mum couldn’t clean out the Garage (her cancer journey started 18 months after Dad died) and Dad was a hoarder of old printing press machines, wood, window frames. My siblings and I couldn’t believe how much stuff was on the property because the house was tidy and usable. We ended up getting two giant metal bins with a tonne capacity each delivered and just went at it throwing everything that we could move ourselves and had A metal buyer come get the printing presses. Death cleaning your parents/family home of 26yrs… was painful and still impacts how I live and what I bring into my home and how I parent my children. If you can get your siblings in on this journey it could make it much faster and less overwhelming
This is a hard job, I hope you get help. I am 69 and this makes me feel good to know I have worked hard and will not leave a ton of stuff for my kids when I'm gone.
Went through similar a couple years ago when we inherited my dad's house. I know how overwhelming it can seem to see the whole space at the outset. I recommend getting as much of the trash out of the way if possible, having more visual space and space to maneuver will help ease the walls-closing-in-on-you feeling. I saved photos/sentimental stuff for last and found a video Benita Larsson did on her channel about going through her Mom's photos to be very helpful. Weirdly, the good side of rodent problems means that so much more stuff is dumpster bound. It sucks but it does make for fewer decisions. Please stay safe, physically and mentally during the process and thank you for your vulnerability in sharing it with us ❤️
Oh my. This takes me back to doing my parents' home of 48 years. My siblings left me to deal with it all which sucked. I love that you went through it all to not miss the treasures.
Carla please be very kind, gentle and patient with yourself doing this monumental task. It will be emotional. I think you need to get more family members to help with this. This UA-cam family will be cheering you on too. Take plenty of breaks and stay hydrated. Having a plan for the large pickup items will make a big difference too. Have a great week. Mary, Joes wife 👏👍💪🙏💐🐕🦺
Carla, this is such a hard road to go down. My Father has been gone 10 years and my Mother 4. Going through their home was so hard, the only way I could do it was have my youngest brother there and together we got through it. It took alot of time but twice a week we met and tackled one room at a time. The problem is my Mother had bins and bins of family photos, 60 years of diaries and tons of other stuff. My brother and I are alot alike and ended up bring home so much of there stuff!!! Four years later I can't bring myself to go through any of it!!! Neither can my brother. Be careful with what you keep because it doesn't get easier least it hasn't for us!!! Best of everything on this journey!! Love you!!❤❤❤
I remember decluttering my mums house after she passed. I did it in stages. She was a collector of books and a hoarder to some extent. When she was alive, I made her go through some of the documents, which helped alot. We got rid of more than a tonne of paper. After she passed, it took me 5 weeks to go through each and every remaining paper and document. 3 weeks to declutter the photographs. I sold most of the household furniture and cutlery. The rest i gave away. I donated and gave away alot of the books and her clothes. It was such an exhausting process, I cried a lot as it was overwhelming, tiring, exhausting, irritable. Decision fatigue is real!!! The whole process took at least an year with month long breaks in between. Swedish death cleaning is important, i tried telling my mum about it, but she wasn't comfortable with it. Which is understandable. I've become more careful and mindful of the items I now own. Am not a minimalist, but if the item hasn't been used in ages or I've forgotten about it, I get rid of it. I can say I now spend my money more on experiences than on items I dont need.
Just moved my 88 yo father to assisted living and sorting out his house. My mom passed 16 years ago and he has not decluttered anything of hers, so I'm mourning her all over again. Only now, almost everything has to be trashed because things degraded so much in that time. Elastic on clothes dry rotted, fabric and papers yellowed with age, photos stored improperly so they are fading, yellowing, and tear when you try to remove them from sticky albums. Dad is a pack rat and didn't trash anything deemed "useful" so there were over 100 empty coffee cans stacked in a tower. He kept every grocery bag in the last 16 years. He kept every type of old technology... slide projector, reel to reel, 8 track, cassette players, etc and every gaming console, from pong and atari up to the first nintendo. He had 12 tracphones, 5 rokus, 3 george foreman grills, 4 magic jacks... some of these still in their original packaging. He's been in that house 49 years and its never been remodeled, so everything but the carpet is circa 1973. My brother and I went through and took the things that meant something to us. Neither of us took more than would fit in a couple grocery bags. Then our spouses went to town looking for things of value or things we might have over looked. A dumpster is scheduled for the end of this week and I suspect it will be filled twice with crap from the house I cannot even understand why my dad saved. He kept every manual to every purchase, as well as every receipt. He had payroll and tax info dating back to 1949, paperwork on every car and insurance policy, and every nut, bolt, and screw he ever saw in the last 75 years. Its all disorganized, so amidst the medical bills is his marriage license. Under the silverware tray is a car title to a vehicle he no longer owns. And for the last 5 years he's had delusions that someone is stealing from him so he took to hiding things, both big and small. He hid money in the wall inside an air vent. There was a shoe horn and back scratcher hidden in the tube of a roll of paper towels and deodorant hidden in a shoe box. He kept a list of the things he thought had been stolen, and we are slowly finding them all in the house. Not sure if the story was for attention or the very early stages of dementia. Thankfully his house doesn't have rodents, but its in FL and it does has roaches, especially since with his declining eyesight he couldn't clean up well after himself. I live 600 miles away, and my hubby is spending the entire month down there renovating his house and unfortunately having to make the judgement call on many of the items there. But he and my SIL have the benefit of objectivity and so while they won't know what is sentimental, they will be able to recognize important papers and things of value. You really need to line up help from a non-family member who can catch you when you start to spiral in moments of nostalgia and help you to only keep the things that are important. I don't think I could tackle my dad's house alone, and I while I know you can do hard things, please get help to speed the process, share the heavy lifting and dirty work, and minimize the emotional trauma. And I agree with everyone who said get work gloves, a mask, and start from the driveway. You'll feel infinitely better when you have a dumpster and can get some big stuff out.
My dad had dementia and he thought somebody had stolen the cheese and a bag of flour. In the meantime nobody had stolen any money or my mom's purse. Amazing. I tried to reason with him but couldn't he didn't understand. My mom could see the logic but for awhile even her was wondering about the missing cheese!! My dad wanted to stay up all nigh with his shotgun to catch the thief! Fortunately he didn't. We installed a camera and there was no thief, only my dad and mom going about the property.
@@chapman1569 Oh honey, I feel this so much! My dad had this elaborate story that the guy he bought the house from *40+ years prior* was a locksmith and he could gain access with a bump key. "Sticky Fingers" never took anything of value, just everyday items to inconvenience him or things that might be sentimental. First he installed unmonitored cameras, but those weren't good enough. He installed a full monitored security system, then supposedly saw on tv where people could get some device off Amazon that could override the base unit of any security system, so of course the locksmith would have one of them! I asked how the thief knew when he was gone since at 80+ he hardly left the house but for the doctor. First he blamed the appt card on the refrigerator, then declared he still had friends on the street that would tip him off when the house was empty. ***I found the previous owner's name, and then found his obituary***, and told my dad he was dead, hoping it would end there. Nope, said his son took over the business. I'm like the son had no grudge against you! Oh, but the son was honoring his dad with the thefts 🤦♀ Through all of this he wasn't calling the cops, which I would point out. If I had an intruder, I'd involve the police. For years, we thought it was all for attention, but I only recently learned it is an early sign of dementia. Its been at least 10 years of Sticky Fingers stories, but getting him into assisted living has finally stopped the shenanigans. While there were times the whole thing gave the family a good laugh, it was more often a source of stress and annoyance over the last decade and it made people not want to be around him, which is sad. And the amount of time and money wasted try to thwart Sticky Fingers is sad too. And no logic would ever sink in. Near the end before he moved he said he realized it didn't make any sense and he was starting to question his own sanity. When we found some of the "stolen" stuff in the house after he moved, I brought him one of the items, a serving ladle from a very old set of serving utensils. Something that couldn't have been bought in a store. He recognized it immediately but instead of being excited it was found, he just accused Sticky of hiding it from him all these years. No, my dad took the ladle and a few other utensils off the hooks to hang things that were more useful to him. He put them in the hutch, because that would be where he would look for them if needed. But he forgot he did it, so 16 years later they "must've been stolen". Now every inch of his house has to be thoroughly search before stuff is thrown out or donated. And every ac vent has to be checked. Also found stuff hidden above a floating ceiling. *sigh* Its overwhelming and I'm relieved that we have 4 of us working together on this! Thank you for making us feel less alone in this though cause I honestly felt like we were the only ones dealing with something like this!
@@suzanneroelofse5970 Thanks sweetie! I tell ya, the up side of this is that its helping me Swedish Death Clean my own house so I don't leave this kind of mess to my son to clean up!!!
My sister & I recently cleared out my parents home, barn, shed….etc. It was so very hard. There were so many family pics that we found. They are now stored in my closet, waiting for me to scan them in & share with other family members. Smaller boxes are recommended. Photos are very heavy. Take your time, don’t forget to breathe. ❤ you got this.
Your siblings are fortunate to have you and your skill set. I was an only child and cleaning out my parents homes was a marathon. Then 20 years later I did my in-laws home. Determined not to leave this much for my kids to deal with.
I’ve been there. It’s devastating. But once it done you are free😃. Play music that makes you happy bring a friend that has no connection to the stuff. Treat yourself to all the things that uplift you. And don’t have your siblings come. Better to save things for them then have them there! You’ve got this. My heart is with you.
We went through cleaning out multiple houses when we lost several family members back to back. What wound up being the easiest option was to bin up the sentimental items and slowly purge them while at home. We felt more confident getting rid of more and more each time especially once we could see how much room they took up.
Decluttering the family home is not an easy task.😢 I went through that difficult journey, you go down memory lane and experience so many emotions. Hang in there Carla you can do this.❤ Sending you hugs and positive vibes from Ontario Canada
Seeing this makes me understand that maybe all that cleaning of family house is left me tired and burned out 5 years later and unable to get going on my own stuff. Especially the stuff that came from that house
I was just thinking you really need a dumpster & than u said it. If your siblings will be mad they should be there helping. Please wear a mask & gloves @ all times. You got this. All your viewers are here for support 😊❤😊
I totally agree, some of my siblings chose to sit on the sideline and I was on the frontlines and had to make the others help me the cleanout. My sister appeased the side liners of there guilt and sent them there things which was a waste of time.
❤❤ Thank you for bringing us along. IDK if I've ever shared this, but especially when you showed your high school pics, I felt nostalgic in my own way because you look almost exactly like my high school best friend. She unfortunately passed away from a drug overdose. High school was when she started. She was sweet, smart, lovely, and fun to be around. She was my Rocker Girl Bestie. RIP Bree. Your videos bring me joy and closure of what it could've been like if things were better for her and I.
Cleaning out my parents' home after my parents passed was a big motivator to begin a journey to minimize my own life. I don't want to leave others with that job when I pass. It was so overwhelming. They literally had shelves and shelves of expired food, boxes and boxes of stuff that they never unpacked after moving 20 years earlier, etc.
Cheering you on from San Jose. ❤ I understand your situation. I retired early to move in and take care of my parents. Unfortunately, we couldn't move in fast enough because my mother is a hoarder and wouldn't get rid of things, so Dad passed the month before we moved in. Now I'm just taking care of her. She laughs when she says she's leaving it all for us to clean up when she passes... I'm going to need a couple months vacation after I go through this hoarders mess! 😢 Remember to be kind to yourself. It's not easy to do this. We're all behind you and wish you the best. Love and light to you, sweet lady. ❤
this gave me an insight: if you keep picking up things from thrift stores in order to „save“ them you actually increase the chance of them all being tossed because it’s too overwhelming for other people to deal with if you don’t have Carla‘s saintly patience. The treasures are obscured by the hoard not preserved. So much work to go through and identify what can even be donated and then in the absolute best case a handful of salvageable things end up back on the thrift store shelves…where you picked them up to begin with.
Much love and respect to you, Carla. My mom just passed last week and it's going to be rough to go through her things. Take it a little a time and take time for yourself too. 💕
This video made me cry. Brought back recent memories of clearing out my late parents house😔buy one good sized Rubbermaid container and fill it up with your memories. Don’t take more than what fits in the one container. I brought lots back from my parents house. I still have to go through it; I keep delaying it, it’s so difficult. 😔💔I hope your dad is doing well in his new place 💕💕I’m trying so hard to declutter my house so my kids don’t have tons to go through. My hubby and I have our parents things and grandparents things but we do use them. We have a box of photos of people we don’t know. We need to have my hubby’s older cousin go through them. Thinking of you Carla💕💕
I had to do this too. I had categories: Recycling, Shred, Donation, Keep, Trash/ Hazardous Waste(all chemicals cleaning/ yard/ paint/ aerosol/ disposed at my city’s hazardous waste center- very important not to put in the trash) Sentimental items -there will often be a 2nd and 3rd purging going over them more than once over time and slowly being more able to let go and narrow it down to the most important.
Carla ,Thank You for doing this and for showing us all of these steps that you are going through, it's all very real. I think this will help out alot of people that are going through this or to help us to not let it get to this point. We are rooting for you, take it one day at a time.
Make sure you go through all the "random" boxes of stuff one paper at a time. When my grandmother passed away, we found import papers stuffed in boxes with old newspapers and magazines...you don't want to accidentally toss out house/car/insurance/stock paperwork that has been buried in the chaos. My kids give me grief for being hyper-organized, I tell them they'll thank me later. I wish you weren't doing this alone, it's harder when you don't know what someone else might want. Blessings
This! went through this with my grandmas passing too! She had 3 sons but I was like her daughter, my uncles and dad have no attention to detail and don’t care if the stuff just all goes to trash 😔 but my sister and I went through EVERYTHING, every piece of paper …it was current day cvs receipts mixed with vintage photos from the 1950s that would have been lost, cash, gift cards and her kids school papers from 50 years ago 😂 we separated everything by son and for the extended family are currently scanning the photos, no one else would have done it and we would have lost all that family history
Mom in her 90s here...similar circumstances involving collecting and not purging for years. We, the kids, are nervous about it all. The average person moves every--is it 11 years? or is it 7? anyway, she has been in her home for 50. Love your channel. P.S. A mask is always necessary, airborne germs and stuff....keep safe...oh, goggles too...necessary IF rodents.
Awe Carla, I think we all felt this pain watching you barely able to move through this space. It’s a first step and it’s a big one. I lost my Mom in 1987 and all of her children were very close to her. Maybe taking some photos of things you know you can’t store in your home but you still want the memory. Hugs to you in this journey. I hope you can find some help/support to finish this project. If I lived in LA I would come help you dressed in plastic wrap and boots with a mask and hat. 😫 I hate critters. 😂😂😂😂 ❤❤❤❤
Sad things happened at the end of my mom's life. I didn't clean out her house for five years. Almost everything I tried to sort through was like a kick to the gut. It's a rural house on the farm, so there was no prospect to rent or sell it. One thing that held me up was having no one to help, or even talk to about it. Being rural I could burn box springs and matresses, but not tires. I had to learn what to do with the lawn chemicals, etc. It was a really heavy burden to take on myself. One evening driving home I was stopped for speeding. The teooper let me off with a warning when I told him what I'd been doing. I was in a daze thinking about whatnto do with 60 yrs of business records. I brought sentimental items home and stored them in my garage until a time I felt ready to sort them. Stay strong, it's just another phase of growing up (no matter your age).
Big hugs Carla! You have been such an inspiration to me with your content. Thank you! My parents are both gone, Mom(55)1998, Dad(83)2022, I'm the only one left, besides two granddaughters and one great granddaughter. I'm slowly getting through. It's hard but you put on your gloves, mask ball cap and tackle it. I believe in you. Maybe some of your siblings, nieces/nephews or friends can pitch in. It is okay if they can't. You got this.
My heart is broken for you. I've gone through one house and garage and still have one more garage with 3 generations of "treasures" to go through. It's a sad, frustrating, grief inducing, and paralyzing process. It's hard to discard items valued or sentimental to people no longer here. but when the items are damaged or contaminated, there is so much additional trauma. I wish you peace and patience. May you give yourself empathy and kindness throughout the process.
Hey, Carla… I pretty much never comment on anything, even though I’m a subscriber. But just wanted to say this hit me hard. I cleaned up my mother’s hoarded home in the midst of bringing her to live with me 8 hours away (due to her chronic health and addiction issues) while trying to manage a full time schedule as a graduate student and instructor. Just when I thought I had squared things away to the best of my ability, I discovered the FULL double garage on the back of the rental property and collapsed into tears. I, too, found so many family treasures packed in/among things that held virtually no value. I still regret that, in those clean outs, there were probably a lot of family treasures and memories lost. But you can only do what you can do, and I honestly tried my best. Just wanted to say thank you for your content, and I’m sorry you had a similar experience. You are so very patient and empathetic, which is why this is your calling, I’m sure! ❤
This is exactly what the Swedish term dödstädning, death cleaning, is about. Clearing your home of all the items that were your parents' after they have passed away. The famous book proposes doing your own death cleaning while you're still alive to make sure your children don't have to go through the physical and emotional stress of doing it themselves.
I feel incredibly lucky that my mom is starting this process while still alive and mentally sound. She is 68, and not a hoarder by any means. Still a lot of knicknacks and collections of stuff like books though.
No, Swedish death cleaning means decluttering your own stuff to reduce the burden on your family. Her parents did not do that. Thus the title too late for it.
@@jessi330 Are you Swedish? Do you speak Swedish? Ever been to Sweden? Obviously not. Please, don't correct others about their languages and cultures, which you know nothing about.
I understand from past experience how difficult clearing out a family home can be. Sending you positive thoughts and prayers. Hang in there Carla we are all pulling for you. 🙏🏽❤️🙏🏽❤️
Aww, I’m so sorry for your losses Carla! I’m a sentimental person, so my suggestions come from that viewpoint. You’ve made a great start… it’s hard, I had to do this not long ago and boy, it sucks emotionally. The best advice I can give you aligns with what you’ve started: 1. Obvious trash-but don’t let paper fool you, you can find a car title in those piles or home deed etc. 2. Dumpster for big trash or a junk guy who will recycle the metal etc. 3. Labeled bins for usable items, memorabilia, photos etc for siblings to find tokens in. 4. Trash bags, recycle boxes, cleaning supplies. 5. Take your time and take plenty of breaks. ❤ And you can save anything you want-set things aside to think about, we exist in the timelines and memories of our lives. Save plenty to share your journey with your own kids someday to tell your story. ❤️
We for sure need to value the family stories/ stories of ancestors to share with the younger generations. Often we're getting on by the time we realise that we want to know/ understand more about our own parents, grandparents ... (Carla has nieces and nephews. )
It’s a good thing you have trained your decluttering muscles so much, because emotionally this is a big job. I second the suggestions from other comments: stay safe, take breaks, bring someone to help you whenever possible. Good luck! ❤
@@magicgemmaster7055you can't help hoarders. If you have hoarder parents and want any semblance of a relationship you cannot mess with their stuff! It's exhausting. Literally watch an episode of Hoarders and how difficult some of those people are then imagine that x2 and that is hoarse parents! I couldn't even get my father to let go of a single mouse chewed random playing card! You can't make your parents, of all people, do anything!
@@magicgemmaster7055it’s quite likely that the parents refused help, or sabotaged efforts to help. After a while, you stop offering because the arguments aren’t worth it.
I just LOVE your videos! You have such a vibe. My parents just turned 80, and have been Swedish death cleaning for a few years. They donate lots and give the valuable stuff to me to sell. My house could certainly use some decluttering, but I am quite enjoying selling stuff and making a few bucks. It is slower, of course, than just donating.... but I can't justify giving everything away. You're awesome! xo Vicky
I’ve been going through my parents’ huge old farmhouse for the past month and a half or so, trying to wade through the 50 years of stuff and crap that accumulated over their lives (and mine) and the mess and filth and broken down disrepair of the house that’s developed with their declining health. This video has been so helpful for me today…there’s a resentment and disgust and anger - all coming out of the sadness, right? It’s so complicated and overwhelming and frustrating. And then it feels wrong to feel it somehow. Seeing you go through it calmly and giving yourself an allowance for all the feelings is so helpful for me today.
When I had to clean out my father's house, I took paper items that had been stored in the basement and put them in a plastic tub with a sturdy lid to go through later. I then took some of the Combat roach traps and put a couple in each bin. It took a while to get back to the papers and felt like they were safer to sort. You could also put in other pest killers (like for silverfish) in the tub. I also sorted the papers outside.
Just went through this with my dad this past summer...house and garage. Spent 6 weeks and it was tough...really tough. Mom's been gone for over 3 years but doubt it ever is easier. My heart goes out to you, especially since it's your family home. Take care of yourself during this time. Take your time.
You can take pictures of sentimental things you want to remember, like those glasses from the holiday inn. Would you ever buy out your siblings and live in your childhood home?
I feel your pain. Leaving all this for your kids isn't a nice thing to do, but i get it. It's is hard to do when you're already having health issues. Right after my husband and I did this, we went home and threw out tons of junk. We pledged not to leave this kind of mess for our own kids. 😢
Going through family stuff after loved ones have passed is one of the hardest tasks of any of our lives. It’s ok to keep things that remind you of your childhood and your family. You can always declutter those things again later but from experience, there are so many things I regret decluttering to soon after my grandparents passed. Sending you strength as you go through this process ❤ btw you are gorgeous! Then & now
I’m screaming with you! My husband’s cousin died because of cleaning dressers with rodent droppings!! And she should throw out all papers saved, because of the same reason!
She definitely should throw out the papers/photos but I would recommend taking a picture of each them first - that way she could still hold onto them without the fear of getting sick!
Hi ❤ been watching you for a while, love your personality it's really warm. I hope you are okay, I actually cried watching this episode , wish you the best along the way. I just want to recommend keeping those cups or anything else you are sentimental about. You are not ready and you need time to feel and process , don't push yourself to get rid of stuff. Grab bug fixes and fill them up and take them home. Tackle those another time and slowly and that is when you will be able to declutter. All the best to you Carla , from my heart ❤
Thank you, Carla. I am doing my own SDC currently. Must admit it is daunting. I will watch this episode numerous times because you remind me to take it slow. You are a marvelous teacher. You incorporate good mental health techniques in the process. ❤️2U
You are such a good daughter and sister. your parents will be proud of you for stepping up and tackling this huge emotional project. Take your time and enjoy the memories. Xx
Oh man lots of strength for you!!!! I did this for my grandma and now my dad left our old family home and it’s FULL of trash and whatever. I honestly hold a grudge on everyone who thinks their kids will do the decluttering for them!!!
That travel cosmetic case would be great in your closet on top of the dresser with your cosemetics or in your bathroom on that shelving unit with cosmetics in. Thats so great.
My mom will have been gone three years next month, I did a lot of it at the beginning, but I have a lot i set aside because I. This content gives me the motivation to start at getting rid of stuff again.
This is an excellent example for why Swedish death cleaning, or any form of decluttering, is important while you're still able to do it yourself. It's really difficult for kids or other loved ones to have to do this.
When confronted with very old large piles , is best to mask up, use eye safety glasses, gloves, work boots, to self protect. Breathing in dust and any vermin poop can make you very ill. I understand the sentimental pull but it appears the items are beyond sifting thru. Maybe consider hiring a debris removal co to haul it all away. We did this for an elderly uncle's large attic - it was worth every dollar. Also, bear in mind that items have a life span, are not meant to keep for decades except fine jewelry.
Here's another viewpoint or mindset. My parents never went through the process of decluttering in their lifetimes. So I gave them the parting gift of never having to confront that pain by handling their belongings for them. I became a minimalist and went through the decluttering process on myself first. By developing the muscle of making irreversible decisions on my own possessions, I developed the superpower of not fearing the pain. So I was fully equipped to do the same for my parents' stuff. Where most people would be burdened and exhausted, I was energized by the process. I was able to make clearheaded decisions of what was valuable and truly sentimental, what could be donated, and what was junk. It took me weeks, not months or years. I'm glad I became the son who said "Can do", even if they weren't around to witness it. I hope you can find the strength to also rise to the occasion, in your own time and at your own pace.
That’s a great point of view about giving the gift of not having to declutter their own possessions. When my parents died and their hoarded house had to be emptied, my brother and his wife never lifted a finger to help. I have held a resentment about having to do this tough work on my own but your thought just reframed it for me. I can think of it as the final gift I gave my parents. ❤Thank you!
I know how you feel. My sister and I are now trying to declutter the possessions of 5 deceased loved ones' things, plus my mother's. We even have 2 storage units on top of the actual homes that need to be decluttered. It is extremely difficult, especially this last year. The photos, the memories of them using those items, missing them, etc. takes a lot out of you. But we are doing the best we can a little at a time. Sending you love and support, because this is not for the weak.
If you don't know where the title to the car is, it could of been in the box you threw out. 🥴 Paperwork is something you definitely have to sort through if there are other documents such as birth certificates, passports, house title, etc. A friend of mine found stocks and bonds that he wasn't even aware that his parents had. I found drawings that my Dad had drawn in his work shed, you just don't know what all is there. It was emotional for my brother, sister and I when we had to clear out my parent's home after my Dad passed away. It was easier for us to be there together so we could take things with us after the sorting. We had 2 large garage sales to clear things so we didn't have to get a large dumpster.
I went through the entire box near the trashcan before throwing it out but it wasn’t in there. I don’t think it’s in the garage, but it’s definitely possible.
I had to due this in 2021 for my parents home of 52 yrs - They were no longer able to live in their home due to health issues so in seven weeks I packed, sold, saved and got everything moved out of their home so it could go on the market. I did have a core group of friends who helped periodically but it was Covid times so there were some limitations. But I will forever be grateful for my friends who pulled up in their cars and we packed all the items we were giving away to various charities and they just drove them away and got them out of my sight and that was so mentally helpful you felt like you were actually accomplishing things. I am very empathetic to anyone who has to do this for their parents or other family members. It is hard and it is emotional. Best of luck
Man, I wish I lived near you. This is right up my alley.
That would be a DREAM collab ❤️❤️❤️
Just hope on your moose you will be there in no time!
See, Mack, I bet you're really regretting all those moose you spun-kicked right about now, huh? They could have created a moose-and-carriage situation to get you out to California!
How can we make this happen?
I'm in Australia and I wish I could come and help her! My Dads house had mice inside by the end, it was truly truly awful. My last memory of my childhood home was huddling on the laundry step with the family Christmas decorations, waiting to be picked up because it was raining and the moisture just made the mouse dropping smell inside intolerable.
Gasp, would love to see that!
I’ve started Swedish Death Cleaning this year. I’m 75 and do not want to leave a big mess for my daughter. That will be the best part of her inheritance.
Absolutely!!!
It's important to do! they say your life flashes before your eyes before you die, but if you die in an instantaneous way that doesn't let your brain go out peacefully, why not review what you have before just in case?
I respect you for taking this step so very much. It is not easy so start but soooo worth it.
@@nancybryant4325
Bless you ❤️
Just throw the shit away!
Carla, you do so many declutter with friends sessions, why not have one of your friends be a support buddy for you for a change while you handle this enormous project? You could really benefit from emotional support while tackling this. ❤
That's a great question and very sad. ☹️
I was thinking the same thing. Someone with no emotional connection that can say "No one is going to want this". That's what I need help with!
Yes you deserve the help and support! You e helped so many people including your subscribers! Love to you and peace ❤
@@zhannas3033 I like the support buddy idea. Maybe they could take turns?
I recommend getting one large Rubbermaid bin for yourself and each of your siblings for sentimental items. Realistically, everything else should probably go. Good luck! This is a huge project.
I was thinking the same thing!
Thats such a great idea!
This is so sad. My mantra is "you can't take it with you." It keeps me from purchasing or retaining stuff.
The car & antique books can definitely be sold!
When my parents passed away I took absolutely nothing out of their home as I am already very blessed and did not need any more stuff. I left it all for my brother, he can do whatever he wants with the stuff.
Baby books. My mom wrote in mine the time she dropped me on my head at 3 months. No other notation, just "Dropped Carol on her head at nap time."
Baby books holding all the secrets!
Calendar kept the year I was born - Tuesday: Caitlin was very cranky today. Wednesday: Caitlin was very cranky again.
Haha, mine was: Rolled off changing table. Seems fine. 😂😂😂 How did we survive?!
This gave me a laugh I really needed today. Thank you all for sharing these gems.
@@scoutc315 OMG, My son did that. He is 42 now. I almost had a heart attack. He also flipped uoside down in his car seat when I turned a sharp corner because his father hadn't strapped it in. Back then, we kept kids in the front seat to give them a bottle if they needed one. When I was a kid, we didn't even have carseats or seatbelts. It's a wonder we all survived for sure.
We are 84 and 78 years old….your channel is helping me see and know I must declutter or it at least START! Thank you sweet girl…❤❤❤🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
This is a huge undertaking for one person. Sending you many hugs and good vibes. One suggestion I thought for next time is have a tote ready for
Any photos or memorabilia and put that in the tote to go through later when you are ready to tackle it. That way you won’t get pulled into looking at sentimental items until you decide you are ready. You are doing awesome Carla!
Great suggestion!💖
That photo of your dad in the air force was just gorgeous. I'd frame that and put it in your house to treasure forever ❤
This is hard to watch because I've been through it. Also, as a librarian who dealt with donations for a long time, please do not donate those books anywhere. Discard them. Recycle if possible, but sometimes that isn't even an option. Don't feel guilty! Bless you for this.❤
I'm a librarian as well. I know how attached people are to their books, but realistically, if it's not in very good condition or something very special, we don't have space for it either :) Exactly, recycling!
@@nellautumngirl The M6 Toll Road in England is built on old Mills and Boon romance novels!
So true. Libraries need to be full of clean, relevant books.
Putting them out on the edge of the lawn in a box marked free tends to get rid of them. But it depends on the neighborhood. Lots of dogwalkers and other pedestrians around here
Our library takes books to sell in their little shop. They also have a big book sale every year to raise money. Some of our thrift shops take them too. I’ve been getting rid of books as I declutter.
I could see it in your eyes and hear it in your voice that this was tough for you. What's great is that you are the perfect person for this job! You have all the skills to handle this! Cheering you on!!
Thank
You ❤❤❤
My parents are deceased. Hoarders of antiques and collectables. My father passed away last right before covid. 3 years i couldnt touch anything. Im finally into the very last corner of stuff. I cant wait to be done by the end of this month. It has been a lot. Then on to my own stuff. Im so tired of stuff.
well done! 👏 you've done a huge job!
great job. i'm sure that was really tough. onward and upward!
i wish i lived in LA so i could sit w u and hand u iced coffees and play w Samson so u didnt have to be alone doing this. My mother was a hoarder. I have prob moved her about 10 times in the last 15 years. My sis was the keeper of all the mom things but she just downsized and now i am the keeper. I have all her old records, the photos, my mothers art (which i am framing and displaying all over my house)her 50 years of journals. When she left independent living many years ago i had to go to NH alone, stay in a hotel (because her home was too depressing without her in it)and i sorted through all of her things to make sure nothing important to my family got thrown away. I know u prob wont see this but i highly recommend next time you go to bring a buddy, your family, anybody w u to support u. This is hard hard stuff. ty for sharing this journey, i can see from the comments many people can relate
Yes, I so relate to this. When I did the big Declutter in 2019 I stayed in the house but this time I can’t even spend a single night there. So I’ll just drive back-and-forth. Better for me to have my own space to come home too.I’ll have to see what friends I can rally to come help❤
@@TheCarlaProject I wish u the very best. U provide so much amazing content for us and helping friends and family u deserve support too!
@@TheCarlaProject Maybe a few of the people you have helped on your channel would be willing to come help you this time? Or if you and Mack ask your viewers, we could pay for plane tickets for him and a helper to come with him and a hotel -- would be an awesome collab video series!!
I had to do this 3 years ago after my Mother died, 50 years of stuff, everything randomly shoved all over the house and she never had got rid of anything, it was emotionally and physically so draining and took months. I’m 58 and I’m doing Swedish death cleaning now, no way I’m leaving my daughter with such a terrible task. Good luck Carla, just keep a few things you will use or really cherish. You could always just take a photo of your limbo champion glasses to remember them without physically keeping them.
When I lost my parents 30+ years ago, I got big plastic storage bins and put anything and everything I believed all seven of my siblings might want to keep. None of them had spoken to my mother in over 30 years (good reasons) and all had moved to other states.
I was left here to care for her by myself and only because of a sense of duty.
So when she died they all flew in just to help me. I'm thankful to all of them because we got to spend a few days together finally.
I wrote each name on their container and then we all went through each one and reminisced about the old days growing up.
Everything else either went to charity or the dumpster. It took three full days but just spending time with all my siblings make it worthwhile. It was literally the only time in our lives we had all been in the same room.
Now I'm looking around my home and deciding what to save for my own children and what to get rid of.
Don't leave a monumental task for your family to deal with. Please.
~♡~
I'm so glad you all took that time to reunite and reminisce. ❤
You seem very kind and patient. You mother and siblings won the lottery with you.
I have found that as I sort through and find photos, albums and other sentimental items that it's easier to place that stuff in a special bin to go through later rather than get side tracked looking through it all. That way I can focus on clearing out the stuff that is a quick and easy decision for me to make and I don't lose my momentum. It's good that you have a game plan with the bulk pickup and dumpster scheduled. I know this is hard and emotionally draining beyond words. You are doing an amazing job.
I know that feeling of being overwhelmed with memories of your family members who have passed. If you can I would recommend not doing it alone. Having your family around you makes it more enjoyable bc you get to share those moments and remember the moments together and also create new memories. Makes its less melancholy.
Yes. Let your family help you. Don't feel like it is all on you. Get a dumpster and everyone pitch it in. Love and prayers.
I just went through this with a family member’s house I moved into last year after they passed. The garage looked exactly like your parents’ garage. Even down to the beer steins and wonky homemade wooden storage shelves that we’re definitely made of scrap wood… I’m pretty sure it traumatized me into minimalism lol wishing you the best of luck with this project ❤
Traumatized into minimalism lol I so relate!!
@@TheCarlaProject Oh, I’m from Sweden. I’m Swedish so I guess I have to do the Swedish Death cleaning thing… 🥵 it takes time…
I moved my mom and dad into my house in November, 2019. I started cleaning out their house a year prior by going through all their papers. They had paperwork dated back to 1980. It took me 6 months, 8 hours every Saturday. My mom at the time was able to help me weed through the paperwork and shred everything they did not need to keep and then I organized the remaining documents in labeled plastic containers. After that I cleaned out my dad's work room. It was 500 square feet piled high with tools, equipment, RC Airplanes and parts and a lot of trash. It took me 6 months, 8 hours every Saturday. I brought sellable items to my house and sold them. Gave money to my dad. At that time my dad had Parkinson's and was not able to control his hands. Then in June, 2021 my parents decided to put house on market. I called my mom an organized hoarder. She had 5 large closets packed, s paced she'd and a packed attic in garage. I spent every Saturday and Sunday 8 hours each day for a month packing all their stuff because my mom refused to let anything go. It took two 26 foot moving trucks to bring furniture and boxes to my house. Half of the furniture came into my house . the other half was stored in my 2 1/2 car garage with all boxes. It took me a year to go through boxes, help my mom decide what to keep, what to sell, what to give away and what to donate. I have never been a person to hold onto things. I declutter on a regular basis. If I haven't used something in a year, it's gone. I don't keep paperwork longer than 7 years except house papers and life insurance papers. I do not want to leave it behind for my children to handle.
Wow, that sounds like a lot of work! I’m sure your parents are very grateful that you were able to help them. I’m glad you are doing all this decluttering while they are still alive and can participate in the process with you.
@jaynecrews2778 My friend, you are a hero! Blessings! 😊🤗
Seriously wow. Respect. That was tough.
The process was much easier with them advising me!
Well done! ⭐️ My in-laws (78 & 82) have paperwork and belongings going back to the 1950s, they refuse to get rid of anything, refuse our help, refuse to downsize - it’s like a heavy weight hanging over us. We respect their wishes, and support their choices, but dread what we will have to deal with eventually. 🥺
One rule when you are doing this kind of clean up. Slick your hair back in a ponytail or cover your hair with a scarf or something and use a mask. All love ❤️
Baseball hat, and clear glasses that cover your eyes and much of your face, to also protect your eyes from dust and random debris that rains down.
My thought exactly.
@@RobinLNJand any rodent poop dust, just in case…
The wife puts shower caps on us - and we both have short hair.
This is a hard go Carla. It’s not a regular decluttering session - emotions, grief, nostalgia etc. Don’t pressure yourself, take it in manageable chunks and plan food and good friends or family time around it so you are balancing the process ✨
Such great suggestions ❤❤❤
This one was such a vibe. You cleaning out whats clearly all sentimental stuff with "oh baby its a wild world" falling down in front of you with that beautiful song playing. 😢
Dont forget these videos will catalog what youre seeing so even if you get rid of stuff, you can watch these videos back again! ❤
Wow. Excellent point !
Such a good point!! ❤❤❤
I know this is very difficult on a few levels and I’m sending positive vibes your way. Stay hydrated, remember to snack and eat, take plenty of breaks, and when you feel overwhelmed just walk away for awhile. ❤
I am so touched by this video. I feel your sadness when you had to go through all of your parents memories 😔but I also feel that your Mom is so proud of you to do this decluttering. ❤️
Oh sweetie! This really spoke to me.❤ I had to clean out my estranged father's apartment by myself when he passed and the entire process changed my life in so many ways. I'm now in the process of caring for my sick and elderly mother as well as slowly removing her things from the house. She has dementia, so she is not missing her items as much, but the process for me is so sad. Take your time and get some help if you need it.
You are a good daughter and sister. ❤ Lovely seeing photos of your beautiful parents.
I went through this 2yrs ago. My sister's handicapped and only I could do it. It felt like climbing a mountain. Thankfully my partner helped.
The sentimental stuff was the hardest. I'd cry a lot.
I hope you're finishing up
im 17 and i've been doing swedish death cleaning since i was 14 going on 15 lol 😆i can't wait to have my own house that only contains just the right amount of things so that I can appreciate them all and make sure they all have a specific place. I don't know why people buy and keep things that they don't use? Like i totally understand if it's sentimental value but my mom will literally buy multiple of the same beauty product, use like 1/3 of one container, and then keep the rest leaking out in a box or drawer for years on end, fighting me anytime i try to get her to throw stuff away.
Being on the internet a lot my whole life has been detrimental to me in some ways, but I also find it's helped me to learn life lessons that other people spend a lot of years figuring out later on.
Be strong Carla huge emotional task! Know your virtual UA-cam fam is here to support you. Sending lots of ❤
This video made me cry so much because I’m in the same boat as you. We lost my mom 2.5 years ago and she left so much crap for us to deal with. Anytime I start to declutter I instantly become sentimental and shed so many tears. You got this Carla, one trash bag at a time. ❤
"I love to declutter I just don't want bugs falling on my head." I mean, seems perfectly reasonable. Bless. I shared this video with my patrons because it demonstrates so clearly what can happen to priceless family memories. Such a great video - thank you for making it.
Thanks for sharing!!💖💖
Zone the items. Put similar items together. Yup, collect all the photos. Remember the room you have in your place. Where will that item live? Get other people to help you. You got this!❤
None of that nonsense. Unless you already come to that junkpile with a clear idea of an item out of it that you want to own, don't even think of any of it as items. Just get the big dumpster and start tossing. This garage is barely a two-day job. Even the people who owned this pile didn't want most of it, which is why it is sitting in the garage, not in the house.
Wow. This is going to be a great series. Be strong.
You can do this Carla! You’re right not to rush through the sentimental things, make those decisions later. My mom has been gone over 16 years and I still have some boxes stored away. Wish I could display things but the space doesn’t allow it, but I’m still not ready to let go. There’s no harm in waiting. My heart understands your emotions here. ❤
Carla, after quite a few decluttering adventures with your friends, it is an honor to be a witness/accountability buddy for you doing this for your family home.
Maybe set up some critter deterrent systems so they can run away to another place? I've lived through a massive rat invasion. It can be done relatively quickly and not too expensively.
I strongly recommend vinegar and a MASK!!!! Rat & mouse poop for someone with breathing issues are just no bueno!
The music is always beautiful, and so are YOU!!!! ❤❤❤
It seems silly, but check with your local cat rescues. There are a few that will essentially rent out what could be considered barn cats - they'll hunt the rats out and they're spayed or neutered so you aren't increasing the local population. 😊
My parents sadly died young. Dad in 09 at 51 and Mum in 15 at 54. Mum couldn’t clean out the Garage (her cancer journey started 18 months after Dad died) and Dad was a hoarder of old printing press machines, wood, window frames. My siblings and I couldn’t believe how much stuff was on the property because the house was tidy and usable. We ended up getting two giant metal bins with a tonne capacity each delivered and just went at it throwing everything that we could move ourselves and had A metal buyer come get the printing presses. Death cleaning your parents/family home of 26yrs… was painful and still impacts how I live and what I bring into my home and how I parent my children.
If you can get your siblings in on this journey it could make it much faster and less overwhelming
This is a hard job, I hope you get help. I am 69 and this makes me feel good to know I have worked hard and will not leave a ton of stuff for my kids when I'm gone.
Went through similar a couple years ago when we inherited my dad's house. I know how overwhelming it can seem to see the whole space at the outset. I recommend getting as much of the trash out of the way if possible, having more visual space and space to maneuver will help ease the walls-closing-in-on-you feeling. I saved photos/sentimental stuff for last and found a video Benita Larsson did on her channel about going through her Mom's photos to be very helpful. Weirdly, the good side of rodent problems means that so much more stuff is dumpster bound. It sucks but it does make for fewer decisions. Please stay safe, physically and mentally during the process and thank you for your vulnerability in sharing it with us ❤️
Oh my. This takes me back to doing my parents' home of 48 years. My siblings left me to deal with it all which sucked. I love that you went through it all to not miss the treasures.
This is so generous of you to share this with us. Thank you! We all appreciate you.
If something jumps out at me, my soul will leave my body. 🤣 Exactly what would happen to me too!
I hope you never get mice
Thank you for caring what other family members might want.
Carla please be very kind, gentle and patient with yourself doing this monumental task. It will be emotional. I think you need to get more family members to help with this. This UA-cam family will be cheering you on too. Take plenty of breaks and stay hydrated. Having a plan for the large pickup items will make a big difference too. Have a great week. Mary, Joes wife 👏👍💪🙏💐🐕🦺
Wish your sister were there with you , because I love the way you guys work together.
@@nette101 True but her sister seems to have a lot under her roof and still needs help herself .
It might be an eye opening experience too
Carla, this is such a hard road to go down. My Father has been gone 10 years and my Mother 4. Going through their home was so hard, the only way I could do it was have my youngest brother there and together we got through it. It took alot of time but twice a week we met and tackled one room at a time. The problem is my Mother had bins and bins of family photos, 60 years of diaries and tons of other stuff. My brother and I are alot alike and ended up bring home so much of there stuff!!! Four years later I can't bring myself to go through any of it!!! Neither can my brother. Be careful with what you keep because it doesn't get easier least it hasn't for us!!! Best of everything on this journey!! Love you!!❤❤❤
I remember decluttering my mums house after she passed. I did it in stages.
She was a collector of books and a hoarder to some extent.
When she was alive, I made her go through some of the documents, which helped alot. We got rid of more than a tonne of paper.
After she passed, it took me 5 weeks to go through each and every remaining paper and document. 3 weeks to declutter the photographs.
I sold most of the household furniture and cutlery. The rest i gave away.
I donated and gave away alot of the books and her clothes.
It was such an exhausting process, I cried a lot as it was overwhelming, tiring, exhausting, irritable.
Decision fatigue is real!!!
The whole process took at least an year with month long breaks in between.
Swedish death cleaning is important, i tried telling my mum about it, but she wasn't comfortable with it. Which is understandable.
I've become more careful and mindful of the items I now own. Am not a minimalist, but if the item hasn't been used in ages or I've forgotten about it, I get rid of it.
I can say I now spend my money more on experiences than on items I dont need.
Just moved my 88 yo father to assisted living and sorting out his house. My mom passed 16 years ago and he has not decluttered anything of hers, so I'm mourning her all over again. Only now, almost everything has to be trashed because things degraded so much in that time. Elastic on clothes dry rotted, fabric and papers yellowed with age, photos stored improperly so they are fading, yellowing, and tear when you try to remove them from sticky albums. Dad is a pack rat and didn't trash anything deemed "useful" so there were over 100 empty coffee cans stacked in a tower. He kept every grocery bag in the last 16 years. He kept every type of old technology... slide projector, reel to reel, 8 track, cassette players, etc and every gaming console, from pong and atari up to the first nintendo. He had 12 tracphones, 5 rokus, 3 george foreman grills, 4 magic jacks... some of these still in their original packaging. He's been in that house 49 years and its never been remodeled, so everything but the carpet is circa 1973. My brother and I went through and took the things that meant something to us. Neither of us took more than would fit in a couple grocery bags. Then our spouses went to town looking for things of value or things we might have over looked. A dumpster is scheduled for the end of this week and I suspect it will be filled twice with crap from the house I cannot even understand why my dad saved. He kept every manual to every purchase, as well as every receipt. He had payroll and tax info dating back to 1949, paperwork on every car and insurance policy, and every nut, bolt, and screw he ever saw in the last 75 years. Its all disorganized, so amidst the medical bills is his marriage license. Under the silverware tray is a car title to a vehicle he no longer owns. And for the last 5 years he's had delusions that someone is stealing from him so he took to hiding things, both big and small. He hid money in the wall inside an air vent. There was a shoe horn and back scratcher hidden in the tube of a roll of paper towels and deodorant hidden in a shoe box. He kept a list of the things he thought had been stolen, and we are slowly finding them all in the house. Not sure if the story was for attention or the very early stages of dementia. Thankfully his house doesn't have rodents, but its in FL and it does has roaches, especially since with his declining eyesight he couldn't clean up well after himself. I live 600 miles away, and my hubby is spending the entire month down there renovating his house and unfortunately having to make the judgement call on many of the items there. But he and my SIL have the benefit of objectivity and so while they won't know what is sentimental, they will be able to recognize important papers and things of value. You really need to line up help from a non-family member who can catch you when you start to spiral in moments of nostalgia and help you to only keep the things that are important. I don't think I could tackle my dad's house alone, and I while I know you can do hard things, please get help to speed the process, share the heavy lifting and dirty work, and minimize the emotional trauma. And I agree with everyone who said get work gloves, a mask, and start from the driveway. You'll feel infinitely better when you have a dumpster and can get some big stuff out.
I went through a very similiar experience with my dad's house. It's traumatic. I'm sending you and Carla a lot of love and strength ❤❤❤
Wow what a story! I like your idea of a non family member
My dad had dementia and he thought somebody had stolen the cheese and a bag of flour. In the meantime nobody had stolen any money or my mom's purse. Amazing. I tried to reason with him but couldn't he didn't understand. My mom could see the logic but for awhile even her was wondering about the missing cheese!! My dad wanted to stay up all nigh with his shotgun to catch the thief!
Fortunately he didn't. We installed a camera and there was no thief, only my dad and mom going about the property.
@@chapman1569 Oh honey, I feel this so much! My dad had this elaborate story that the guy he bought the house from *40+ years prior* was a locksmith and he could gain access with a bump key. "Sticky Fingers" never took anything of value, just everyday items to inconvenience him or things that might be sentimental. First he installed unmonitored cameras, but those weren't good enough. He installed a full monitored security system, then supposedly saw on tv where people could get some device off Amazon that could override the base unit of any security system, so of course the locksmith would have one of them! I asked how the thief knew when he was gone since at 80+ he hardly left the house but for the doctor. First he blamed the appt card on the refrigerator, then declared he still had friends on the street that would tip him off when the house was empty. ***I found the previous owner's name, and then found his obituary***, and told my dad he was dead, hoping it would end there. Nope, said his son took over the business. I'm like the son had no grudge against you! Oh, but the son was honoring his dad with the thefts 🤦♀ Through all of this he wasn't calling the cops, which I would point out. If I had an intruder, I'd involve the police. For years, we thought it was all for attention, but I only recently learned it is an early sign of dementia. Its been at least 10 years of Sticky Fingers stories, but getting him into assisted living has finally stopped the shenanigans. While there were times the whole thing gave the family a good laugh, it was more often a source of stress and annoyance over the last decade and it made people not want to be around him, which is sad. And the amount of time and money wasted try to thwart Sticky Fingers is sad too. And no logic would ever sink in. Near the end before he moved he said he realized it didn't make any sense and he was starting to question his own sanity. When we found some of the "stolen" stuff in the house after he moved, I brought him one of the items, a serving ladle from a very old set of serving utensils. Something that couldn't have been bought in a store. He recognized it immediately but instead of being excited it was found, he just accused Sticky of hiding it from him all these years. No, my dad took the ladle and a few other utensils off the hooks to hang things that were more useful to him. He put them in the hutch, because that would be where he would look for them if needed. But he forgot he did it, so 16 years later they "must've been stolen". Now every inch of his house has to be thoroughly search before stuff is thrown out or donated. And every ac vent has to be checked. Also found stuff hidden above a floating ceiling. *sigh* Its overwhelming and I'm relieved that we have 4 of us working together on this! Thank you for making us feel less alone in this though cause I honestly felt like we were the only ones dealing with something like this!
@@suzanneroelofse5970 Thanks sweetie! I tell ya, the up side of this is that its helping me Swedish Death Clean my own house so I don't leave this kind of mess to my son to clean up!!!
My sister & I recently cleared out my parents home, barn, shed….etc. It was so very hard. There were so many family pics that we found. They are now stored in my closet, waiting for me to scan them in & share with other family members. Smaller boxes are recommended. Photos are very heavy. Take your time, don’t forget to breathe. ❤ you got this.
Your siblings are fortunate to have you and your skill set. I was an only child and cleaning out my parents homes was a marathon. Then 20 years later I did my in-laws home. Determined not to leave this much for my kids to deal with.
I’ve been there. It’s devastating. But once it done you are free😃. Play music that makes you happy bring a friend that has no connection to the stuff. Treat yourself to all the things that uplift you. And don’t have your siblings come. Better to save things for them then have them there! You’ve got this. My heart is with you.
We went through cleaning out multiple houses when we lost several family members back to back. What wound up being the easiest option was to bin up the sentimental items and slowly purge them while at home. We felt more confident getting rid of more and more each time especially once we could see how much room they took up.
Decluttering the family home is not an easy task.😢 I went through that difficult journey, you go down memory lane and experience so many emotions. Hang in there Carla you can do this.❤ Sending you hugs and positive vibes from Ontario Canada
Seeing this makes me understand that maybe all that cleaning of family house is left me tired and burned out 5 years later and unable to get going on my own stuff. Especially the stuff that came from that house
I was just thinking you really need a dumpster & than u said it. If your siblings will be mad they should be there helping. Please wear a mask & gloves @ all times. You got this. All your viewers are here for support 😊❤😊
I totally agree, some of my siblings chose to sit on the sideline and I was on the frontlines and had to make the others help me the cleanout. My sister appeased the side liners of there guilt and sent them there things which was a waste of time.
❤❤ Thank you for bringing us along. IDK if I've ever shared this, but especially when you showed your high school pics, I felt nostalgic in my own way because you look almost exactly like my high school best friend. She unfortunately passed away from a drug overdose. High school was when she started. She was sweet, smart, lovely, and fun to be around. She was my Rocker Girl Bestie. RIP Bree. Your videos bring me joy and closure of what it could've been like if things were better for her and I.
Cleaning out my parents' home after my parents passed was a big motivator to begin a journey to minimize my own life. I don't want to leave others with that job when I pass. It was so overwhelming. They literally had shelves and shelves of expired food, boxes and boxes of stuff that they never unpacked after moving 20 years earlier, etc.
You definitely need a dumpster for immediate garbage one tub for each sibling and keep, donate, or throw out pile
Agreed! I made the same comment about getting a dumpster, but she needs decluttering help if she was to rent one.
Cheering you on from San Jose. ❤
I understand your situation. I retired early to move in and take care of my parents. Unfortunately, we couldn't move in fast enough because my mother is a hoarder and wouldn't get rid of things, so Dad passed the month before we moved in. Now I'm just taking care of her. She laughs when she says she's leaving it all for us to clean up when she passes... I'm going to need a couple months vacation after I go through this hoarders mess! 😢
Remember to be kind to yourself. It's not easy to do this. We're all behind you and wish you the best. Love and light to you, sweet lady. ❤
10:05 I heard that sigh from the depths of my soul, been there, my heart goes out to you
Oh Carla! I am so sorry you are having to do all of this. I am sure it’s so difficult. I could sense the pain in your voice.
this gave me an insight: if you keep picking up things from thrift stores in order to „save“ them you actually increase the chance of them all being tossed because it’s too overwhelming for other people to deal with if you don’t have Carla‘s saintly patience. The treasures are obscured by the hoard not preserved. So much work to go through and identify what can even be donated and then in the absolute best case a handful of salvageable things end up back on the thrift store shelves…where you picked them up to begin with.
THIS!
Much love and respect to you, Carla. My mom just passed last week and it's going to be rough to go through her things. Take it a little a time and take time for yourself too. 💕
This video made me cry. Brought back recent memories of clearing out my late parents house😔buy one good sized Rubbermaid container and fill it up with your memories. Don’t take more than what fits in the one container. I brought lots back from my parents house. I still have to go through it; I keep delaying it, it’s so difficult. 😔💔I hope your dad is doing well in his new place 💕💕I’m trying so hard to declutter my house so my kids don’t have tons to go through. My hubby and I have our parents things and grandparents things but we do use them. We have a box of photos of people we don’t know. We need to have my hubby’s older cousin go through them. Thinking of you Carla💕💕
I had to do this too. I had categories: Recycling, Shred, Donation, Keep, Trash/
Hazardous Waste(all chemicals cleaning/ yard/ paint/ aerosol/ disposed at my city’s hazardous waste center- very important not to put in the trash)
Sentimental items -there will often be a 2nd and 3rd purging going over them more than once over time and slowly being more able to let go and narrow it down to the most important.
Carla ,Thank You for doing this and for showing us all of these steps that you are going through, it's all very real. I think this will help out alot of people that are going through this or to help us to not let it get to this point. We are rooting for you, take it one day at a time.
I ❤ you Carla ! You are my kindred sister!
Make sure you go through all the "random" boxes of stuff one paper at a time. When my grandmother passed away, we found import papers stuffed in boxes with old newspapers and magazines...you don't want to accidentally toss out house/car/insurance/stock paperwork that has been buried in the chaos. My kids give me grief for being hyper-organized, I tell them they'll thank me later. I wish you weren't doing this alone, it's harder when you don't know what someone else might want. Blessings
This! went through this with my grandmas passing too! She had 3 sons but I was like her daughter, my uncles and dad have no attention to detail and don’t care if the stuff just all goes to trash 😔 but my sister and I went through EVERYTHING, every piece of paper …it was current day cvs receipts mixed with vintage photos from the 1950s that would have been lost, cash, gift cards and her kids school papers from 50 years ago 😂 we separated everything by son and for the extended family are currently scanning the photos, no one else would have done it and we would have lost all that family history
Mom in her 90s here...similar circumstances involving collecting and not purging for years. We, the kids, are nervous about it all. The average person moves every--is it 11 years? or is it 7? anyway, she has been in her home for 50. Love your channel. P.S. A mask is always necessary, airborne germs and stuff....keep safe...oh, goggles too...necessary IF rodents.
Awe Carla, I think we all felt this pain watching you barely able to move through this space. It’s a first step and it’s a big one. I lost my Mom in 1987 and all of her children were very close to her. Maybe taking some photos of things you know you can’t store in your home but you still want the memory. Hugs to you in this journey. I hope you can find some help/support to finish this project. If I lived in LA I would come help you dressed in plastic wrap and boots with a mask and hat. 😫 I hate critters. 😂😂😂😂 ❤❤❤❤
Sad things happened at the end of my mom's life. I didn't clean out her house for five years. Almost everything I tried to sort through was like a kick to the gut.
It's a rural house on the farm, so there was no prospect to rent or sell it. One thing that held me up was having no one to help, or even talk to about it.
Being rural I could burn box springs and matresses, but not tires. I had to learn what to do with the lawn chemicals, etc. It was a really heavy burden to take on myself. One evening driving home I was stopped for speeding. The teooper let me off with a warning when I told him what I'd been doing. I was in a daze thinking about whatnto do with 60 yrs of business records.
I brought sentimental items home and stored them in my garage until a time I felt ready to sort them.
Stay strong, it's just another phase of growing up (no matter your age).
Big hugs Carla! You have been such an inspiration to me with your content. Thank you! My parents are both gone, Mom(55)1998, Dad(83)2022, I'm the only one left, besides two granddaughters and one great granddaughter. I'm slowly getting through. It's hard but you put on your gloves, mask ball cap and tackle it. I believe in you. Maybe some of your siblings, nieces/nephews or friends can pitch in. It is okay if they can't. You got this.
My heart is broken for you. I've gone through one house and garage and still have one more garage with 3 generations of "treasures" to go through. It's a sad, frustrating, grief inducing, and paralyzing process. It's hard to discard items valued or sentimental to people no longer here. but when the items are damaged or contaminated, there is so much additional trauma.
I wish you peace and patience. May you give yourself empathy and kindness throughout the process.
Hey, Carla… I pretty much never comment on anything, even though I’m a subscriber. But just wanted to say this hit me hard.
I cleaned up my mother’s hoarded home in the midst of bringing her to live with me 8 hours away (due to her chronic health and addiction issues) while trying to manage a full time schedule as a graduate student and instructor.
Just when I thought I had squared things away to the best of my ability, I discovered the FULL double garage on the back of the rental property and collapsed into tears. I, too, found so many family treasures packed in/among things that held virtually no value. I still regret that, in those clean outs, there were probably a lot of family treasures and memories lost. But you can only do what you can do, and I honestly tried my best.
Just wanted to say thank you for your content, and I’m sorry you had a similar experience. You are so very patient and empathetic, which is why this is your calling, I’m sure! ❤
This is exactly what the Swedish term dödstädning, death cleaning, is about. Clearing your home of all the items that were your parents' after they have passed away. The famous book proposes doing your own death cleaning while you're still alive to make sure your children don't have to go through the physical and emotional stress of doing it themselves.
I feel incredibly lucky that my mom is starting this process while still alive and mentally sound. She is 68, and not a hoarder by any means. Still a lot of knicknacks and collections of stuff like books though.
No, Swedish death cleaning means decluttering your own stuff to reduce the burden on your family. Her parents did not do that. Thus the title too late for it.
@@jessi330 She's talking about the original meaning of 'death cleaning' - the book just changed it (re-read her note above).
@@jessi330 Are you Swedish? Do you speak Swedish? Ever been to Sweden? Obviously not. Please, don't correct others about their languages and cultures, which you know nothing about.
@@leoren2685 thanks.
I understand from past experience how difficult clearing out a family home can be. Sending you positive thoughts and prayers. Hang in there Carla we are all pulling for you. 🙏🏽❤️🙏🏽❤️
Aww, I’m so sorry for your losses Carla! I’m a sentimental person, so my suggestions come from that viewpoint.
You’ve made a great start… it’s hard, I had to do this not long ago and boy, it sucks emotionally. The best advice I can give you aligns with what you’ve started:
1. Obvious trash-but don’t let paper fool you, you can find a car title in those piles or home deed etc.
2. Dumpster for big trash or a junk guy who will recycle the metal etc.
3. Labeled bins for usable items, memorabilia, photos etc for siblings to find tokens in.
4. Trash bags, recycle boxes, cleaning supplies.
5. Take your time and take plenty of breaks. ❤
And you can save anything you want-set things aside to think about, we exist in the timelines and memories of our lives. Save plenty to share your journey with your own kids someday to tell your story. ❤️
Excellent advice!
We for sure need to value the family stories/ stories of ancestors to share with the younger generations. Often we're getting on by the time we realise that we want to know/ understand more about our own parents, grandparents ... (Carla has nieces and nephews. )
It’s a good thing you have trained your decluttering muscles so much, because emotionally this is a big job. I second the suggestions from other comments: stay safe, take breaks, bring someone to help you whenever possible. Good luck! ❤
So sad and heart breaking that kids have to go through this garbage. TO ALL PARENTS OUT THERE CLEAN UP YOUR MESS!
I agree 100%
Her parents were very selfish to leave this horde ..but with 5 kids, not one went over to help in 40 years?!?
@@magicgemmaster7055you can't help hoarders. If you have hoarder parents and want any semblance of a relationship you cannot mess with their stuff! It's exhausting. Literally watch an episode of Hoarders and how difficult some of those people are then imagine that x2 and that is hoarse parents! I couldn't even get my father to let go of a single mouse chewed random playing card! You can't make your parents, of all people, do anything!
@@magicgemmaster7055it’s quite likely that the parents refused help, or sabotaged efforts to help. After a while, you stop offering because the arguments aren’t worth it.
I just LOVE your videos! You have such a vibe.
My parents just turned 80, and have been Swedish death cleaning for a few years. They donate lots and give the valuable stuff to me to sell. My house could certainly use some decluttering, but I am quite enjoying selling stuff and making a few bucks. It is slower, of course, than just donating.... but I can't justify giving everything away. You're awesome! xo Vicky
I am in the process of Scandinavian death cleaning for my children as this year I have been clearing my father's house. I feel your pain.
I’ve been going through my parents’ huge old farmhouse for the past month and a half or so, trying to wade through the 50 years of stuff and crap that accumulated over their lives (and mine) and the mess and filth and broken down disrepair of the house that’s developed with their declining health. This video has been so helpful for me today…there’s a resentment and disgust and anger - all coming out of the sadness, right? It’s so complicated and overwhelming and frustrating. And then it feels wrong to feel it somehow. Seeing you go through it calmly and giving yourself an allowance for all the feelings is so helpful for me today.
When I had to clean out my father's house, I took paper items that had been stored in the basement and put them in a plastic tub with a sturdy lid to go through later. I then took some of the Combat roach traps and put a couple in each bin. It took a while to get back to the papers and felt like they were safer to sort. You could also put in other pest killers (like for silverfish) in the tub. I also sorted the papers outside.
Just went through this with my dad this past summer...house and garage. Spent 6 weeks and it was tough...really tough. Mom's been gone for over 3 years but doubt it ever is easier. My heart goes out to you, especially since it's your family home. Take care of yourself during this time. Take your time.
You can take pictures of sentimental things you want to remember, like those glasses from the holiday inn. Would you ever buy out your siblings and live in your childhood home?
I feel your pain. Leaving all this for your kids isn't a nice thing to do, but i get it. It's is hard to do when you're already having health issues. Right after my husband and I did this, we went home and threw out tons of junk. We pledged not to leave this kind of mess for our own kids. 😢
I def agree, look through all papers and books even if you trash it all. You never know if money or valuables are hiding!
Going through family stuff after loved ones have passed is one of the hardest tasks of any of our lives. It’s ok to keep things that remind you of your childhood and your family. You can always declutter those things again later but from experience, there are so many things I regret decluttering to soon after my grandparents passed. Sending you strength as you go through this process ❤ btw you are gorgeous! Then & now
I kept screaming; you need a mask! You really can’t donate any of that stuff because it’s been contaminated with rodent droppings.
I’m screaming with you! My husband’s cousin died because of cleaning dressers with rodent droppings!! And she should throw out all papers saved, because of the same reason!
Yes! Hantavirus can be deadly.
Agree.
Me too rat urine and poo so dengerous!!!
She definitely should throw out the papers/photos but I would recommend taking a picture of each them first - that way she could still hold onto them without the fear of getting sick!
Hi ❤ been watching you for a while, love your personality it's really warm. I hope you are okay, I actually cried watching this episode , wish you the best along the way.
I just want to recommend keeping those cups or anything else you are sentimental about. You are not ready and you need time to feel and process , don't push yourself to get rid of stuff. Grab bug fixes and fill them up and take them home. Tackle those another time and slowly and that is when you will be able to declutter. All the best to you Carla , from my heart ❤
Not gonna be able to watch this through … however sending you positive vibes. I’ve got a similar project that I haven’t been able to start. 😢
Thank you, Carla. I am doing my own SDC currently. Must admit it is daunting. I will watch this episode numerous times because you remind me to take it slow. You are a marvelous teacher. You incorporate good mental health techniques in the process. ❤️2U
You are such a good daughter and sister. your parents will be proud of you for stepping up and tackling this huge emotional project. Take your time and enjoy the memories. Xx
Oh man lots of strength for you!!!! I did this for my grandma and now my dad left our old family home and it’s FULL of trash and whatever. I honestly hold a grudge on everyone who thinks their kids will do the decluttering for them!!!
That travel cosmetic case would be great in your closet on top of the dresser with your cosemetics or in your bathroom on that shelving unit with cosmetics in. Thats so great.
My mom will have been gone three years next month, I did a lot of it at the beginning, but I have a lot i set aside because I. This content gives me the motivation to start at getting rid of stuff again.
This is an excellent example for why Swedish death cleaning, or any form of decluttering, is important while you're still able to do it yourself. It's really difficult for kids or other loved ones to have to do this.
When confronted with very old large piles , is best to mask up, use eye safety glasses, gloves, work boots, to self protect. Breathing in dust and any vermin poop can make you very ill.
I understand the sentimental pull but it appears the items are beyond sifting thru. Maybe consider hiring a debris removal co to haul it all away. We did this for an elderly uncle's large attic - it was worth every dollar. Also, bear in mind that items have a life span, are not meant to keep for decades except fine jewelry.
Here's another viewpoint or mindset. My parents never went through the process of decluttering in their lifetimes. So I gave them the parting gift of never having to confront that pain by handling their belongings for them.
I became a minimalist and went through the decluttering process on myself first. By developing the muscle of making irreversible decisions on my own possessions, I developed the superpower of not fearing the pain. So I was fully equipped to do the same for my parents' stuff.
Where most people would be burdened and exhausted, I was energized by the process. I was able to make clearheaded decisions of what was valuable and truly sentimental, what could be donated, and what was junk. It took me weeks, not months or years.
I'm glad I became the son who said "Can do", even if they weren't around to witness it. I hope you can find the strength to also rise to the occasion, in your own time and at your own pace.
That’s a great point of view about giving the gift of not having to declutter their own possessions. When my parents died and their hoarded house had to be emptied, my brother and his wife never lifted a finger to help. I have held a resentment about having to do this tough work on my own but your thought just reframed it for me. I can think of it as the final gift I gave my parents. ❤Thank you!
@@pjglory3348That is beautiful. ❤
I know how you feel. My sister and I are now trying to declutter the possessions of 5 deceased loved ones' things, plus my mother's. We even have 2 storage units on top of the actual homes that need to be decluttered. It is extremely difficult, especially this last year. The photos, the memories of them using those items, missing them, etc. takes a lot out of you. But we are doing the best we can a little at a time. Sending you love and support, because this is not for the weak.
If you don't know where the title to the car is, it could of been in the box you threw out. 🥴 Paperwork is something you definitely have to sort through if there are other documents such as birth certificates, passports, house title, etc. A friend of mine found stocks and bonds that he wasn't even aware that his parents had. I found drawings that my Dad had drawn in his work shed, you just don't know what all is there. It was emotional for my brother, sister and I when we had to clear out my parent's home after my Dad passed away. It was easier for us to be there together so we could take things with us after the sorting. We had 2 large garage sales to clear things so we didn't have to get a large dumpster.
I went through the entire box near the trashcan before throwing it out but it wasn’t in there. I don’t think it’s in the garage, but it’s definitely possible.
@@TheCarlaProjectdon't worry these things always appear when you least expect it. It will find it's way back to you!
I had to due this in 2021 for my parents home of 52 yrs - They were no longer able to live in their home due to health issues so in seven weeks I packed, sold, saved and got everything moved out of their home so it could go on the market. I did have a core group of friends who helped periodically but it was Covid times so there were some limitations. But I will forever be grateful for my friends who pulled up in their cars and we packed all the items we were giving away to various charities and they just drove them away and got them out of my sight and that was so mentally helpful you felt like you were actually accomplishing things. I am very empathetic to anyone who has to do this for their parents or other family members. It is hard and it is emotional. Best of luck
Girl, let Jay Leno know about that car. He LOVES classic cars and could bring that sweet baby back to life!
And she could get a chunk of money. It needs to be marketed to the right people.
Or Robert Downey Jr
OMG a collab between Carla and Jay Leno would be amazing! :)
Or Alex from Curiosity Incorporated. He's in Edmonton, but he sometimes buys collector cars. Could be worth asking.