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Oprah Winfrey examines how old traumas affect people later in life and what can be done about it

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  • Опубліковано 18 сер 2024
  • Oprah Winfrey and Dr. Bruce Perry talk to "CBS This Morning" co-host Tony Dokoupil about their new book, "What Happened To You?" The book examines how old traumas affect people later in life and what can be done about it.
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 501

  • @stellashepherd844
    @stellashepherd844 3 роки тому +93

    I always hate the expression “children are resilient”.

    • @nimcom.5396
      @nimcom.5396 3 роки тому

      Western kids are not.

    • @unamed2516
      @unamed2516 3 роки тому +2

      Weird how that’s an expression. I don’t understand how this is true.

    • @byiza9484
      @byiza9484 3 роки тому +2

      I know what you n mean. But youth does buffer a lot of things. It’s only later…

    • @gdaudencia8926
      @gdaudencia8926 3 роки тому

      @Charlie James me too but just change children with 'people' whether old or young.

    • @eilmlilm2490
      @eilmlilm2490 3 роки тому

      YEAH! ME TOO!!!!!!

  • @ginap5003
    @ginap5003 3 роки тому +134

    I really believe the adults that I was fortunate enough to have in my life as a child and then teen helped me survive a very toxic and chaotic home life. My parents were both mentally unstable people who used me and my sibling as a pawn/weapon against the other. They were only married 5 years, but were separated for at least half that time. My mother described bringing me home from the hospital after I was born and being upset that my father had a house full of people ‘celebrating.’ they fought constantly and there was physical violence. My father was a cruel sociopath. My mother was very volatile and narcissistic. I was drawn to friends who had healthy home-lives and I felt loved and valued by many of these people. Nevertheless, I have spent my entire adult life trying to heal from my traumatic early life experiences. I have been fortunate in finding and marrying a wonderful man and we broke the cycle of dysfunction. We raised 3 healthy, well-adjusted and happy kids who will, thankfully, never know the extent of what I’ve tried to spare them.

    • @chigal7778
      @chigal7778 3 роки тому +9

      So good to hear you had very good support. I didnt have a great mother either and she was abusive and extremely neglectful. God bless.

    • @juliesprik9479
      @juliesprik9479 3 роки тому +9

      Glad you were able to break 💔 the cycle of abuse.For some people it's too deeply engrained.

    • @ginap5003
      @ginap5003 3 роки тому +13

      @@juliesprik9479 I think escaping this cycle has been the greatest blessing in my life, and I truly thank God everyday. I don’t know how I was given such grace, but I will never waste it.

    • @juliesprik9479
      @juliesprik9479 3 роки тому +4

      @@ginap5003 I am happy for you! God bless you and your family and friends 💗!

    • @evehawasinare228
      @evehawasinare228 3 роки тому +6

      Thank you for sharing.

  • @loantran-thanh7795
    @loantran-thanh7795 3 роки тому +39

    Trauma can even start in the mother’s womb, if she is stressed or lives through something very shocking, it would affect her nervous cells which in turn would affect the development of the baby in the womb. I am a therapist and I just followed a 6 days online congress on trauma and resilience. Traumas developed in under 5 children are usually the ones that stayed within for the rest of your lives, unless you deal with them as soon as possible, and ensure full closure.

    • @byiza9484
      @byiza9484 3 роки тому

      Yeah…even at the moment of conception

  • @pattycannon1804
    @pattycannon1804 3 роки тому +112

    Vulnerability and healthy communication has helped me repair the relationship I have with my mother when she told me the traumatic events that happened to her I felt tons of empathy for her.

    • @mikemartin9677
      @mikemartin9677 3 роки тому

      Ever the thought of what happened to Dad?

    • @mikemartin9677
      @mikemartin9677 3 роки тому

      @Anita Washington it's coming over the borders and into the schools.

    • @Christynmaine
      @Christynmaine 3 роки тому +2

      You are very fortunate. But sometimes that's not posstble. Some parents take advantage of our needs and we become like the monkeys in the Harlow experiment. Don't let the cycle continue to the next generation even if if means cutting ties permanently.

    • @exceptionaltalentspc4954
      @exceptionaltalentspc4954 3 роки тому

      A few months before she passed I was able to feel empathy for my mother after understanding her own trauma growing up but I was never able to bond with her or feel affection for her. I'm so broken that I can only feel sorry for myself.

    • @Christynmaine
      @Christynmaine 3 роки тому +2

      @@exceptionaltalentspc4954 You can heal. I hope you're able to find happiness and meaning as you move forward. Before I left home many years ago I talked to a priest about leaving and what things were like at home. I felt guilty leaving my mom even though she did some really terrible things to me. His advice was to run, not walk, as far away from there as I could get. I had a responsibility to God (my soul) to live the life given to me. That was the best advice anyone has ever given me.

  • @tiffanys.4250
    @tiffanys.4250 3 роки тому +53

    Highly recommend the book "the body keeps the score" to go along with this.

    • @TT-di4qz
      @TT-di4qz 3 роки тому +4

      Wow! Thanks for the recommendation.

    • @tiffanys.4250
      @tiffanys.4250 3 роки тому +1

      @@TT-di4qz my pleasure, it was a game-changer for me

    • @garciamc66
      @garciamc66 3 роки тому +2

      Thank you for the recommendation

    • @MyBeautifulLord
      @MyBeautifulLord 3 роки тому +2

      Reading it now!

    • @exceptionaltalentspc4954
      @exceptionaltalentspc4954 3 роки тому +2

      We really truly are what "they" make of us and with "they" I refer to parents, family, culture and the environment. Then, as adults we struggle to unlearn what has been taught and we struggle to overcome the trauma from being mistreated, neglected and undernourished while growing up.

  • @jaydr6988
    @jaydr6988 3 роки тому +30

    I had a bad childhood so I'm constantly in fight or flight. ptsd anxiety depression so I have to be aware of that all the time.
    But there has been people along the way that have loved me and my faith is why I'm here to tell the story.

    • @elizabethwilk9615
      @elizabethwilk9615 3 роки тому +3

      I have the same. My faith has been paramount in my healing

    • @alwaysattractinggreatthings
      @alwaysattractinggreatthings 3 роки тому +1

      Same . Learning to love myself and others who have also feel unloved. That’s very healing. And of course my faith and God has been very good 😌 to me . 🙏🏻🙂🥰💕

    • @hannablue7038
      @hannablue7038 3 роки тому +2

      YES, CONSTANTLY IN FIGHT OR FLIGHT, GOD YOU'RE SO RIGHT, I'm 69 and had a horrible life, and IT CANNOT BE FIXED. You either take me the way I am or don't take me at all.

    • @katherinebragg9704
      @katherinebragg9704 3 роки тому +1

      Amen! God gets the Glory

  • @itsjenni-ginmf9262
    @itsjenni-ginmf9262 3 роки тому +65

    Any trauma at any age and stage is seriously impactful just to be clear🤨

  • @sophiamichael2788
    @sophiamichael2788 3 роки тому +51

    What happened to most children collectively is that they were told to stop using their imagination and forced to spend at least 7 hours a day in school, not including hours of homework, learning through memorization, reading and lectures and not through actual experience. You can gain knowledge with the first, but you gain wisdom with experience. Wisdom gives you a better foundation to navigate, cope, and overcome hurdles in life that they may face.

    • @unamed2516
      @unamed2516 3 роки тому +3

      I kind of realized this problem for myself... I’ve become very depressed when I realized throughout my life I never have experienced anything. I can’t even remember the last time I had fun or had the time for it.

    • @lauranovak8407
      @lauranovak8407 3 роки тому +3

      Exactly why I homeschooled my kids!

    • @LatiWins
      @LatiWins 3 роки тому +1

      Boo hoo

    • @marilynking527
      @marilynking527 3 роки тому

      Very true

  • @dawn6232
    @dawn6232 3 роки тому +22

    What infuriates me is that Nadine Burke Harris, Bruce Perry, Gabor Mate, Daniel Siegel HAVE BEEN BRINGING THIS ISSUE TO THE FOREFRONT FOR YEARS, but Oprah has a book and NOW ACEs gets its day in the sun?!! I’m glad it’s out there, but we didn’t think we needed to listen to the EXPERTS?!!!!!!

    • @tylerjakes5651
      @tylerjakes5651 3 роки тому

      Helloo
      How are you doing? Hope you and your family are safe

    • @xxxxMonkeyGirlxxxx
      @xxxxMonkeyGirlxxxx 3 роки тому +5

      Maybe that’s why Oprah is doing this then. Cause she knows if she does it, it will get the attention needed.

    • @Karina_Engr
      @Karina_Engr 3 роки тому +1

      YES 👆👆👆

  • @sungspatta6123
    @sungspatta6123 3 роки тому +10

    I am 64 years old Korean American woman. I have suffered too long, all the torture physical violations done by my brother when I was a child. I live in a life sentence with despair. My brother is a prominent figure in Korea, enjoying all the success.

    • @eilmlilm2490
      @eilmlilm2490 3 роки тому +2

      May he ask for forgiveness, with tears of blood.

    • @gardenroom65
      @gardenroom65 3 роки тому

      Thinking of you x

    • @purplelove743
      @purplelove743 3 роки тому +1

      SUNG I am so sorry for any and everything that you have been through 💔😔 I was born in foster care and aged out there was no good days abuse is a understatement I was torture 18+ years everyone that new say it nothing may God bring you some peace still searching for Mine💔💔💔💔💔😔

    • @davisholman6518
      @davisholman6518 3 роки тому +1

      I am so very sorry. *hug* from Scottsdale, Arizona, USA to my friend, Sung.❤️

    • @akuaboateng3030
      @akuaboateng3030 3 роки тому +1

      WOW, please do take care and keep speaking out

  • @zachtrapper2398
    @zachtrapper2398 3 роки тому +41

    Imagine growing up before and during the Civil Rights Movement.

    • @josiecarl4671
      @josiecarl4671 3 роки тому +1

      paradise if you compare it t life today.

    • @aprillove10
      @aprillove10 3 роки тому +7

      @@josiecarl4671
      Not really.

    • @davisholman6518
      @davisholman6518 3 роки тому +1

      @@josiecarl4671 My friends & I feel great about being baby boomers. Life was NOT horrible then - don’t care what they say now.

    • @aprillove10
      @aprillove10 3 роки тому +2

      @@davisholman6518
      You mean it wasn’t horrible for you and those you knew. The civil rights movement was the death of lots of “colored” people. Lots of colored people were also murdered prior to the civil rights movement. What’s so great about that?

  • @GailBecker-MSED-CM-Author
    @GailBecker-MSED-CM-Author 3 роки тому +8

    This is so true! As an educator, I have been trying to tell school administrators and teachers this. I actually did a research study very similar to this while in graduate school. Now, I am reiterating this now that my daughter is all grown up. I am listening to her explain why she is so angry today, which is due to events from her childhood.

  • @stephenchristian3636
    @stephenchristian3636 3 роки тому +15

    This is an important discussion.... I’m in the process of writing my book! I’ve had a pretty rough childhood but thank God I made it through. I’ve been physically & sexually abused an battle with Clinical Depression/Anxiety...

    • @purplelove743
      @purplelove743 3 роки тому +4

      Stephen I am so sorry I know torture as well born in foster care aged out 18+ years of torture no way out no one cared😔💔💔💔💔💔😔

    • @helenclark2104
      @helenclark2104 3 роки тому +1

      I am with you people think they know how to help l also suffer from complex PTSD where i suffer more than one truma in life it makes me angry when they have no idea what u have been thought

    • @stephenchristian3636
      @stephenchristian3636 3 роки тому +1

      @@helenclark2104 Yes you got that right we’re both Overcomers tho

  • @Do.not.judge.
    @Do.not.judge. 3 роки тому +18

    Trauma is built into our veins and never parts. However violating another family brings much pain, and it is unnecessary.

    • @tylerjakes5651
      @tylerjakes5651 3 роки тому +1

      Helloo
      How are you doing? Hope you and your family are safe

  • @DezaRay24
    @DezaRay24 3 роки тому +10

    As an adult adoptee adopted at 7 days old it’s actually been proven trauma goes back further for those of us that have been taken away from our 1st mothers we bonded with in utero, and then were given to the wrong biological mom. Even if we have a wonderful life/family it still is an traumatic imprint that changes us forever.

    • @pacificodelnorte6628
      @pacificodelnorte6628 3 роки тому

      This strongly resonates with me!🙂

    • @bzh7648
      @bzh7648 3 роки тому +2

      Our physiology and genetics affects us more than most of us would like to admit. I am not adopted but I can try to empathize, as best I can. There was a bond I had with my parents when they were alive. It came from recognizing my mannerisms and interests in them. Now that they’re gone, I feel like an orphan. I would imagine that an adopted child would instinctively search for those, and grieve the loss.

  • @andreac3797
    @andreac3797 3 роки тому +9

    Trauma/generational abuse/neglect have always had costly consequences
    Mental/Emotional health is essential
    We all deserve to be free from our internal traumas

  • @awab4272
    @awab4272 3 роки тому +5

    I strongly recommend listening/ looking into Dr. Gabor Maté. He discusses these issues so well.

    • @byiza9484
      @byiza9484 3 роки тому +1

      🙌🏾 yes!!…His work in this area is amazing

    • @stephanie_smith
      @stephanie_smith 3 роки тому

      I totally agree!! Gabor Mate is an amazing human being.

  • @aprilmay1061
    @aprilmay1061 3 роки тому +6

    The thing that helped me to work on myself and work on forgiveness was one day I thought of what I knew about the life of a family member that was abusive toward me and I asked myself what kind of person would I have been if I had the same experience in life that she did and it hit me like a ton of bricks and I was able to not only forgive that person, but thank her for the Good things she DID do for me. RIP to her now.

    • @tylerjakes5651
      @tylerjakes5651 3 роки тому

      Hello April
      How are you doing? Hope you and your family are safe

  • @loveinthematrix
    @loveinthematrix 3 роки тому +9

    Remember when Oprah interviewed Mo’Nique’s family about the abuse she’d been through without telling her

    • @malikastone
      @malikastone 3 роки тому

      Exactly. I didn't forget how she treated Monique. That was a low down, dirty move. Typical for Oprah unfortunately.

    • @Mister_Listener
      @Mister_Listener 3 роки тому

      @@malikastone wait, what? What happened!!?

  • @stephaniealvessantos9332
    @stephaniealvessantos9332 3 роки тому +16

    Ok so I LOVE how they’re having these segments at CBS this morning! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

  • @ShredderTainment
    @ShredderTainment 3 роки тому +2

    They are teaching “compassion”, the greatest superpower we have. Thank you both and much love to all!

  • @charlenevanwinkle2943
    @charlenevanwinkle2943 3 роки тому +2

    I've started a book on what my brother and I went through as well. Trauma is trauma, no matter how small or big. Since you are able to read this, it means you have survived so far. Every day is a battle, but we all keep fighting.
    My brother is my inspiration to talk about childhood trauma and abuse, he is my inspiration to keep fighting through the pain, he didn't make it. I was 4 and he was 12, he was murdered by our mom and I found his body.

  • @mariamdaudi
    @mariamdaudi 3 роки тому +2

    You said “How to fix ourselves.” That has the underlying assumption that something is wrong with us. How to heal and how to remove stigma from trauma is kinder.

  • @mlthewi1287
    @mlthewi1287 3 роки тому +1

    As someone who has studied the ACE Study since 2010, I've been exploring ways to neutralize experiences-memories of trauma. I had the honor to find out about the ACE Study, and then work with James Encinas who wrote WHEELING TO HEALING: UNDERSTANDING AND HEALING FROM ADVERSE CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES (he rode a bike across the U.S. twice). The final chapter of his book lists alternative healing therapies that stay away from re-traumatizing the victim. There is some real science to understand how the body can heal the mind and the mind can heal the body. I love to see videos like this...I wish healing for everyone.

  • @DLFfitness1
    @DLFfitness1 3 роки тому +8

    You can’t fix what you don’t acknowledge.

  • @t3hsis324
    @t3hsis324 3 роки тому +2

    The reason why the first couple of months are so pivotal to your development is that that is when you form your attachment style with your caregiver. That is the foundational blueprint for all interactions going forward. In fact, most personality disorders are formed within the first year or two of life, from what sources I've read. This is why it is imperative that we as a society have services available for expecting parents (not only for mental development but physical of course) and that we offer to support to parents and their children early on, and continue to make sure they have easy access to such services to lessen the impact of traumatic events in life. The more readily available help is, the sooner the issues can be addressed and keep from further harm done to the child and family both mentally and physically.

  • @benjiebenjamin7810
    @benjiebenjamin7810 3 роки тому +1

    I've got 75 yrs of surviving various abuses from being sexually abused starting when I was a baby, being given to one abusive relative to another, to beatings, verbally condemned, raped, many pdychologixally & emotional traumas, religiously abused via whips @ times, & many more abuses, a very looonnnnggg story. I finally found me after decades of research reading books & taking psychology classes, talking to decent people in my life here 'n there, starting programs to help others & etc., to find me....not who I was told I was/am & not how I was/am treated. I believe "Love Overall Values Everyone"....which includes one's self...I could never hate. My relatives taught me how NOT to be. I am still dealing with repercussions from the gaslighting gossip/lies from past abusers, BUT, I finally realized in my senior years that tho I'm no better than anyone else....I'm no less than anyone else either. I control my (C)PTSD now ♥. Surviving abuses can take a life time to learn to live....not just 😥😒😉☺😁😍 survive & learn how to exist...but to live. Better late than never, eh? HUGS2U 💔♥♥♥

  • @MrDan11422
    @MrDan11422 3 роки тому +30

    Like baking a cake and don't add enough of one ingredient, chances are the cake will not turn out the correct way.
    The great hope is we can remake it.

    • @peanutsarecheap1997
      @peanutsarecheap1997 3 роки тому +1

      I like that.
      I'm using it ... It make too much sense.

    • @MrDan11422
      @MrDan11422 3 роки тому +2

      @@peanutsarecheap1997 it is all about the second, third, fourth chance we all need to have. Only a few of us have been made perfect the 1st time. Lord knows I'm on my 10th time. 😊

    • @Creole_Lady
      @Creole_Lady 3 роки тому +1

      Good thing I don't like cake

    • @dorothygarland1483
      @dorothygarland1483 3 роки тому +1

      @@MrDan11422
      Hello
      Interesting comment
      As soon as I read it
      I thought to myself
      What if leaving out that
      Ingredient actually made the
      Cake better?
      Just a thought...
      Blessings to all..

  • @bamnbamn7453
    @bamnbamn7453 3 роки тому +3

    That's So Powerful What He Said Towards The End Of The Commentary... That Many Of The Things We Are Experiencing Is A REACTION....

  • @sylvestermumba981
    @sylvestermumba981 3 роки тому +18

    Thank you so much for raising this awareness. It will really go a long way...

    • @benedictesmith-rosenthal7354
      @benedictesmith-rosenthal7354 3 роки тому

      I don't think we need Oprah on this subject. She has lost so much of her credibility since her debacle interview.

  • @eilmlilm2490
    @eilmlilm2490 3 роки тому +3

    My heart bleeds profusely every, every day. It weakens me to the point of death. My children, sexually assaulted at a very young age, struggle in their lives. One tried suicide. I didn't know till 40 years later. ABUSE AGAINST CHILDREN HAS GOT TO STOP!

    • @jennifermanzano2400
      @jennifermanzano2400 3 роки тому

      I agree with you completely! Children are so fragile. But we have a God who is merciful beyond our understanding. He can and will completely heal your children and all children of this horrific abuse. Believe in Him. The Devil is so active in this world. Yet he runs when he hears the name of Jesus!!

  • @bluenation4734
    @bluenation4734 3 роки тому +11

    I wish I could get my hands on that book. Sounds like the kind I need to get my hands on not only for me but my kids as well.
    Thank you for sharing

    • @knowledgevspower2418
      @knowledgevspower2418 3 роки тому

      I just started reading it... it is pretty good - much more that I expected - did you get it?

  • @quintxavier
    @quintxavier 3 роки тому +4

    Delete Facebook. Get real life connections. I promise you will feel better.

  • @JanineRupp697
    @JanineRupp697 3 роки тому +1

    That wording stops the shaming of those who are trauma survivors..shifts it away from blaming the victims..

  • @ginamitembe8935
    @ginamitembe8935 3 роки тому +4

    Whole heartedly agree with those beautiful people are pointing out!! "What happened to you"

    • @tylerjakes5651
      @tylerjakes5651 3 роки тому

      Hello Gina
      How are you doing? Hope you and your family are safe

  • @shalee7155
    @shalee7155 3 роки тому +8

    i totally agree. so glad oprah and dr perry are bringing light to this invisible subject. billions are affected by childhood traumas and it is not talked about often enough. understanding why people are the way will change us and the world.

    • @stephanie_smith
      @stephanie_smith 3 роки тому

      She has the platform to bring this info to a lot more people thats for sure, however lots of Dr's and authors have been trying to bring this info to those affected by childhood trauma for many many years now. Part of the problem is that there are not enough trauma informed therapists who are qualified to treat patients who are no doubt suffering.

  • @isabornau
    @isabornau 3 роки тому +1

    Heal your own childhood trauma.. It takes time and it is painful yes, but on the other side of this process is self-love and self-acceptance which is the best medicine to live in peace and wholeness. You won't need outside validation anymore as this will now come from within.

  • @ladyoftheveil8342
    @ladyoftheveil8342 2 роки тому

    I had Nobody as a kid, so now I'm disabled. Oprah is a strong lady!

  • @lightuponlight6727
    @lightuponlight6727 3 роки тому +4

    It's so basic...so obvious. You look at our society and it becomes crystal clear. Abuse and unhealed trauma being acted out everywhere you turn. Dr Gabar Mate has been talking about this for years

    • @stephanie_smith
      @stephanie_smith 3 роки тому +1

      Gabor Mate is such an astounsihing and insightful human being. I could listen to him talk for hours...his words bring so much awareness and hope...as well as his voice is so soothing!

    • @lightuponlight6727
      @lightuponlight6727 3 роки тому +1

      @@stephanie_smith Indeed. He's a gift. I always try to turn people on to him

  • @terrysampson5759
    @terrysampson5759 3 роки тому +4

    I agree what happens in our youth can either make us better people in the future or it can make us worse.

  • @snowstormonsat
    @snowstormonsat 3 роки тому +6

    I love you Oprah. Thanks for shedding light on this, now I don't feel so alone in my PTSD. I want so badly to heal from my horrific abusive past.

    • @tylerjakes5651
      @tylerjakes5651 3 роки тому

      Hello Susan
      How are you doing? Hope you and your family are safe

  • @DJMIXXTHAT
    @DJMIXXTHAT 3 роки тому +5

    Bullying being molested being tortured being Humiliated.

    • @shannonnonnahs6943
      @shannonnonnahs6943 3 роки тому +3

      I understand by personal experince. ✌

    • @DJMIXXTHAT
      @DJMIXXTHAT 3 роки тому +1

      @@shannonnonnahs6943 that’s what i was dealing with as a jr high school and high school. I hated school so much. And don’t fo to the shower room or bathroom. You best just wait till you get to McDonald’s or friendly.

    • @amnomad1009
      @amnomad1009 3 роки тому +1

      @@DJMIXXTHAT HS ? thats what I got since the day I was born, by my sperm donor, and then he taught my sibs what I should expect from them, by the time I got to HS, abuse was what was expected, I thought it was normal. Sperm donor finally left this earth but my sibs are unrelenting... covert & overt malignant narcissists.

    • @13579hee
      @13579hee 3 роки тому +1

      Im sorry man. Im 29 at 23 I started to see how bullying from my childhood REALLY traumatized me. It destroyed my 20s and now I am so damn sad

    • @amnomad1009
      @amnomad1009 3 роки тому +1

      @@13579hee Hey, dont let it destroy your 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s,70s; you have A LOT of years left. Because I was targeted from the day I was born it took me TOO MANY YEARS to figure out what was really going on. You have your situation figured out. Try to find somebody who is able to guide you. Talk. I hope you find peace. added... I saw your post below ... find your chance to heal, good luck

  • @yeshalloween
    @yeshalloween 3 роки тому +2

    My childhood trauma had such a negative impact on my adulthood. Try and try and try I might. But overcoming it seems impossible.

  • @naeaman
    @naeaman 3 роки тому +5

    Investigate generational trauma also and how it affects groups like the Native Americans...

  • @catemitten5857
    @catemitten5857 3 роки тому +3

    I had a decisive loss in the death of my mother.
    I became a nurse educator and tried to heal the 🌎. I was a corporate instructor for American Red Cross. Ran an ambulance service and raised 4 children. ENOUGH? Oh, I was a 7 y.o. GIRL when she died. Never knew her.

    • @fjp9
      @fjp9 3 роки тому +1

      congratulations for overcoming obstacles in your life. others have also had traumatic experiences. everybody handles things differently.

  • @marsvsvenus6256
    @marsvsvenus6256 3 роки тому

    I have suffered by the hand of a jealous mother, abusive father and survived physically. However, I am injured emotionally and my self thoughts are sometimes unkind. Being compassionate to yourself is difficult because of the time wasted in doing things that didn't work out. This is because there is no buffer, everything falls on you. We are invisible to society. We are worth more dead than alive. Mental health is truly a philanthropic effort. Because the objective is to give to others the love and care they were deprived of. Governments would try, but it's a job for far too many. Doing something with heart gives life.

  • @lm406
    @lm406 3 роки тому +4

    I had a trauma at a young age, never trusted again

    • @lolacookie453
      @lolacookie453 3 роки тому +1

      Yeah, that’s the worst part, you can do EMDR to help process the traumatic memories but trusting other people is a struggle. I can befriend (on the surface) many people but don’t truly allow any of them in.

  • @mandybon04
    @mandybon04 3 роки тому +2

    I think the worst kind of trauma damage is to those that don't realise they have experienced it

  • @JudyHermanRelationships
    @JudyHermanRelationships 3 роки тому +1

    So true. Thank you Oprah and Dr. Bruce

    • @tylerjakes5651
      @tylerjakes5651 3 роки тому

      Hello Judy
      How are you doing? Hope you and your family are safe

  • @einsteindarwin8756
    @einsteindarwin8756 3 роки тому +16

    I’m happy Oprah is being awareness to this topic. Thank you!

  • @exceptionaltalentspc4954
    @exceptionaltalentspc4954 3 роки тому +1

    I think two months is such a narrow timeframe. I would say the first 6 years of life are crucial and even what happens after that can really shape life as adults.

  • @marykaykeller7978
    @marykaykeller7978 3 роки тому +15

    Finally! This book is life-changing for so many people and for the way we respond to children and adults in their everyday lives! Very exciting.

  • @rebeccalankford8573
    @rebeccalankford8573 3 роки тому +3

    Accumulated neglect, abuses, uses.
    Absences of nurturing and personal interaction.
    Lack of individual personal development
    Hearded and treated like a transaction rather than a person. A human being.
    For many women the womanizing and misogyny.

    • @tylerjakes5651
      @tylerjakes5651 3 роки тому

      Hello Rebecca
      How are you doing? Hope you and your family are safe

  • @nicolesright4800
    @nicolesright4800 3 роки тому +1

    This also applies to AA people dealing with the trauma from slavery, jim crow, mass incarceration, red lining, police brutality, etc.

  • @shannonnonnahs6943
    @shannonnonnahs6943 3 роки тому +10

    I freaked out during the L.A. riots in the 90's . I was a child and I lived close so I was worried that the riots would come to my home. With all the riots going on now I realise that the fear from my childhood is still with me now. I get panicked every time I see some clips of rioting.

    • @FynnOliverEmonSill
      @FynnOliverEmonSill 3 роки тому

      I lived in San Fran at 18 then, I was literally the first person convicted of being part of the riots....don't get to judgy, the details are lame af.....admitting to picking up a t-shirt off the sidewalk, and taking a jacket from a looter running buy me....umm, yea. but I was noted in the paper for being the first conviction....it was funny. It was a crazy time.

    • @40nights40daystv
      @40nights40daystv 3 роки тому +1

      Tear down the old to build the new

    • @13579hee
      @13579hee 3 роки тому +3

      Now consider the trauma that was cause to Black people after the beating of Rodney King by cops....... The trauma of generation after generation of us experiencing of violence from the State

  • @terransage8857
    @terransage8857 3 роки тому +16

    Watching powerful people promote basic realizations about life is weird.

    • @joannebaker4925
      @joannebaker4925 3 роки тому +2

      It's not weird because even powerful people are human beings smart enough to know that life experiences help to shape who we are and how we move through the world.

  • @openeyes2086
    @openeyes2086 3 роки тому +9

    Oprah now has 2 tv channels Own and CBS to talk about her issues.... WHAAAAAAAAATTTTT?

  • @lucindanewcomb8769
    @lucindanewcomb8769 3 роки тому +2

    I know when my daughters were newborns and toddlers watching the Oprah Winfrey Show I heard Oprah talk about how important it is that children NOT hear or see or know that their parents are not getting along. Must've been the early 1990s. Also I had soooo many negative memories of my parents fighting when I was extremely young it didn't take much convincing. That unfortunately turned into even more personal sacrifices and suffering for me and the feeling and experience of being captive in a miserable marriage for decades to protect my children. And I watched the book launch yesterday moderated by Kristen Bell and Dax Shepherd from which the takeaway for me was (the importance of recognizing that childcare is work first of all but) that expecting moms and childcare givers to be eternal fonts of unconditional love when no one is caring for the moms and caregivers is hypocritical, a violation of the human rights of women, and counterproductive.

    • @maruxa1996
      @maruxa1996 3 роки тому +1

      It's impossible and If you can pull it off it won't long until it catches up with you. Sooner or later your life can implode.

    • @lucindanewcomb8769
      @lucindanewcomb8769 3 роки тому +1

      @@maruxa1996 He intentionally used my fear and protective instincts in addition to my undiagnosed and misdiagnosed (both of which he spearheaded) disabilities to control and manipulate me. I'm glad to see laws now being passed and considered on "coercive control" in England and a few states.

    • @maruxa1996
      @maruxa1996 3 роки тому +1

      @@lucindanewcomb8769 I'm really sorry you had to go though all of that. Women are revered for their sacrifice while men are for their power and in this day and age we are starting to see changes but, there is sooo much more to do. I see your strength and will to keep going. You are worth it and I'm rooting for you. ❤️

    • @lucindanewcomb8769
      @lucindanewcomb8769 3 роки тому +1

      @@maruxa1996 Thank you and such an insightful and concise comment. Thank you.

  • @dorothygarland1483
    @dorothygarland1483 3 роки тому +2

    Great director on this show
    He was going into a close up
    Of Gail
    But She was making one of
    Her "overly concerned"
    Faces, so he skillfully kept
    It a wide shot
    Great camera people as well

    • @tylerjakes5651
      @tylerjakes5651 3 роки тому

      Hello Dorothy
      How are you doing? Hope you and your family are safe

  • @thetruthsideswiththeoppressed
    @thetruthsideswiththeoppressed 3 роки тому +1

    I can’t help but wonder if people watching this ever thinks about how systemic racism, police brutality, and many of issues that plague this country has had on marginalized people.

  • @charlenesansone3243
    @charlenesansone3243 3 роки тому +1

    We have had it all backwards. We need to fully focus on Children for at least the first full 2 years of their life until a secure attachment is formed. I lived half of my life and it all came to a screeching halt when I wanted to live my purpose and hit a wall. It all referred back to childhood trauma. AND... also all of my father's own unresolved trauma that caused him to pass it along to me.

  • @thebravesoul
    @thebravesoul 3 роки тому +4

    Love heals💜
    Forgiveness heals💜
    Self-forgiveness heals💜
    Nature heals💜
    Wisdom heals💜

    • @yeshalloween
      @yeshalloween 3 роки тому +1

      Jesus heals

    • @frugalityishername827
      @frugalityishername827 3 роки тому +1

      @@yeshalloween Christianity itself is a very traumatizing religion, from my perspective.

    • @mlee6842
      @mlee6842 3 роки тому

      Forgiveness for some things is impossible. Absurd. God understands.... Protect children and animals. Please.

  • @michael-annhancox7179
    @michael-annhancox7179 3 роки тому

    This is not rocket science. All I did when my daughter was born was google " what makes a happy/ well adjusted child" and a book popped up and I ordered it from the library. It's literally called what make a child happy and it takes the most disfunctional families and finds out how the children were able to over come and thrive. It's the people who propped them up around them speaking positively about them and what they can do and are doing in life speaking in a positive/affirmative language. So, that's what we did. We surrounded ourselves with positive healthy people making a difference and living/loving their own lives. My husband and I left all the disfunction in our families behind and wrote a new story.

  • @rsingh9900
    @rsingh9900 3 роки тому +3

    Don’t want to hear Oprah take on any topic. Stop bringing up your past..

  • @exquisitecaribbeanqueen7198
    @exquisitecaribbeanqueen7198 3 роки тому +2

    I said that a long time ago. Its not what's wrong with you, it's what's happened to you. Oprah just beat me to it. My children's mentor said that in small group

  • @margaretthomas9199
    @margaretthomas9199 3 роки тому +3

    I don't care what people say -- I REALLY miss my daily Oprah. She is the voice of reason amid a crazy world.

    • @tylerjakes5651
      @tylerjakes5651 3 роки тому

      Helloo
      How are you doing? Hope you and your family are safe

  • @fjp9
    @fjp9 3 роки тому +1

    sometimes you need to look at your past to know your future. best of luck to everybody. stay safe and healthy, mentally, emotionally, and physically.

  • @Anastasia-oy2zp
    @Anastasia-oy2zp 3 роки тому +2

    I’m a transgender girl that grew up in a dysfunctional family... I know a thing or two about trauma

  • @kel.luttrell
    @kel.luttrell 3 роки тому

    I’m so glad this healing work is making its way into the mainstream media.

  • @Counselingforlife
    @Counselingforlife 3 роки тому +7

    ACEs ADVERSE CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES... best research on this topic with free screening...

  • @funluvbuns
    @funluvbuns 3 роки тому +3

    The more Oprah talks the more trauma I feel.

  • @patrickd3207
    @patrickd3207 3 роки тому +1

    Look up complex post traumatic stress disorder.
    There is also a test called the ACE test. Advertise childhood experiences.
    Look up Nadine Burke Harris. She explains it very well.

  • @mlee6842
    @mlee6842 3 роки тому +1

    Thank y'all for this.🕊️🦉

  • @bamnbamn7453
    @bamnbamn7453 3 роки тому +1

    I Think This Should Be A TV Series.

  • @annsmith7207
    @annsmith7207 3 роки тому +4

    And Oprah's childhood trauma - which she has publicly aired - multiple times - is manifested in her weight fluctuations throughout her life and, sadly, she has never fully resolved. This is not a body shaming comment - people can be whatever weight works for them - but there are times when unresolved underlying issues - haunt and persist throughout a lifetime without effective therapy. And Oprah is an example of that manifestation. It is never the weight itself - the weight is the outside manifestation of what is going on - on the inside and the interior life-long battle and struggle to come to terms with the trauma.

    • @tylerjakes5651
      @tylerjakes5651 3 роки тому

      Hello Ann
      How are you doing? Hope you and your family are safe

  • @TheRemmertMethod
    @TheRemmertMethod 3 роки тому +4

    Yes!! So good to see this being shared!! THIS is why we change negative childhood memories! Because those implicit memories from childhood are "proving" who we are and how the world works. :) Change those memories to the opposite, positive, and empowering, and you change the "evidence" to "prove" who you want to become and what you want to achieve. :) Like changing the GPS coordinates to match the destination you want to get to. Neuroscience has discovered that not only can memories be changed, but they're already changing naturally and automatically - so we might as well change them to empowering :)
    We can still remember what originally happened, but it can become declarative memory instead of implicit memory. :)

    • @lolacookie453
      @lolacookie453 3 роки тому +1

      What kind of speciality in a therapist do I need to look for in order to do this?

    • @TheRemmertMethod
      @TheRemmertMethod 3 роки тому

      @@lolacookie453 Hi Lola :) It's called Childhood Memory Transformation.

    • @lolacookie453
      @lolacookie453 3 роки тому +1

      @@TheRemmertMethod thank you so much! I will look it up! 🙏🌈

  • @michaeld.williamsiii9026
    @michaeld.williamsiii9026 3 роки тому +2

    Great interview discussion & topic...🌟✨🌟

  • @HB-md8ly
    @HB-md8ly 3 роки тому +1

    I hope this book is healing for many people.

    • @knowledgevspower2418
      @knowledgevspower2418 3 роки тому

      did you get the book?

    • @HB-md8ly
      @HB-md8ly 3 роки тому

      @@knowledgevspower2418 Not yet. I work in the field, so have many books that detail the theory, research and clinical application of many areas explored in the book. It sounds like a really accessible resource for the general public. B. Perry is accomplished and well respected in the field.

    • @knowledgevspower2418
      @knowledgevspower2418 3 роки тому

      ​@@HB-md8ly I totally understand what you are saying... for me - (and I just made a review about the book here on youtube) for me the book was a good introduction to the field - and I got a lot of value from it - as you mentioned it is very accessible to the general public - and for you, I guess it will not add anything new.
      what is your background if I may ask?

  • @jamilyaataeva8778
    @jamilyaataeva8778 3 роки тому

    Very true. Child trauma in my life been effected Whole my adults life. Still exists and follow me now . Raised without parents, no food and verbally or physically abuse in Child House in Kazakhstan. I hated myself and self-worth so low. I am 54 now. So I probably never escape that painful hole in me. Well. Thank you for bring up that.

  • @juicyjules7409
    @juicyjules7409 3 роки тому +1

    Yes trauma can still affect u. 😢🌺

  • @janetlittle8990
    @janetlittle8990 3 роки тому +1

    People just don't know. Its really hard when you're in your 60s.🙄

    • @tylerjakes5651
      @tylerjakes5651 3 роки тому

      Hello Janet
      How are you doing? Hope you and your family are safe

  • @juliecorona9744
    @juliecorona9744 3 роки тому +2

    ❤️Thank you for this info, very helpful to know!! It opened up my eyes 👀 instantly!! We all carry with something, no matter what age it happened but we all do.... 🙏

    • @tylerjakes5651
      @tylerjakes5651 3 роки тому

      Hello Julie
      How are you doing? Hope you and your family are safe

  • @cindyj5522
    @cindyj5522 3 роки тому +3

    OW seems to be very taken with her public platform and her personal history so that she is now acting as an untrained psychologist for her fans. Kind of like someone who does heart surgery on a patient just because they once applied a bandaid to a papercut. She annoys me.

    • @tylerjakes5651
      @tylerjakes5651 3 роки тому

      Hello Cindy
      How are you doing? Hope you and your family are safe

  • @talkindurinthemovie
    @talkindurinthemovie 3 роки тому +2

    I grew up in Idaho as a black child and now im crazy.

    • @Here-123
      @Here-123 3 роки тому +3

      WOW that's amazing.

    • @mariettedemarest5173
      @mariettedemarest5173 3 роки тому

      Lol

    • @eilmlilm2490
      @eilmlilm2490 3 роки тому +1

      Never ever let anyone make you feel unworthy because of the color of your skin. The mind can have a sickness of racial hate, but skin color is natural. People who are racially prejudice have something wrong in their brain. They are not healthy in mind. How do I know? If only you knew my story. Sometimes you just " Know stuff".

  • @snorgisborg2
    @snorgisborg2 3 роки тому

    She is so right

  • @lorettatang6715
    @lorettatang6715 3 роки тому +1

    Important piece of work!

    • @tylerjakes5651
      @tylerjakes5651 3 роки тому

      Hello
      How are you doing? Hope you and your family are safe

  • @pursuehappiness8962
    @pursuehappiness8962 3 роки тому +2

    After Oprah challenging The Queen, why not challenge everyone else. What’s wrong with her????

  • @pfungwachitambo5996
    @pfungwachitambo5996 3 роки тому +1

    Well Oprah is right I was bullied at primary school .at that age you feel like something is wrong with you . Why do people pick on you ?why are they treating you differently? It literally destroys your self confidence, even into Adulthood. It almost becomes like a body dissmophia in your mind. We're you think I'm not normal, .you become a untisocial person .you become uncomfortable around people even in adulthood.

  • @karenlaughlin5965
    @karenlaughlin5965 3 роки тому +1

    I am disappointed with Oprah Winfrey she did not fact check Meghan Markle. Oprah ruined her own reputation

    • @tylerjakes5651
      @tylerjakes5651 3 роки тому

      Hello Karen
      How are you doing? Hope you and your family are safe

  • @bluecrow3755
    @bluecrow3755 3 роки тому +3

    Thank you, Dr Oprah

    • @starrynight1329
      @starrynight1329 3 роки тому +1

      Thank you, doctor Oprah? She isn't a doctor she is a talk show host. This comment is insulting towards medical professionals who have studied for years in their perspective fields.

    • @starrynight1329
      @starrynight1329 3 роки тому +1

      @@bluecrow3755 you will need to elaborate because I don't know what you are trying to say.

    • @starrynight1329
      @starrynight1329 3 роки тому +2

      @@bluecrow3755 🤣🤣 I love your way with words.
      I mistook your first comment as praising Oprah. I don't like her either. We just have different styles of communication. I don't like to put people down when I don't agree their comments.

    • @bluecrow3755
      @bluecrow3755 3 роки тому +3

      @@starrynight1329 right on Sorry about the confusion, she's the worst and steadman was always a prop lol,anyway enjoy the rest of your day☀️

    • @starrynight1329
      @starrynight1329 3 роки тому

      @@bluecrow3755 you too 😁

  • @kathyaudreegenemorris3659
    @kathyaudreegenemorris3659 3 роки тому +8

    The personality is set at 15, so we must do better jobs how we raise our children

    • @tylerjakes5651
      @tylerjakes5651 3 роки тому

      Hello Kathy
      How are you doing? Hope you and your family are safe

  • @nancyhagan7553
    @nancyhagan7553 3 роки тому

    thank you

  • @joannestinson3753
    @joannestinson3753 3 роки тому +4

    I felt trauma from the Markle interview. When some can spew their “own truth “ without fact checking in fairness to the other side. It makes me very fearful. That we are being forced into someones warped reality.... and we can no longer rely on careful journalism. It scares the heck out of me.

  • @shizzle7642
    @shizzle7642 3 роки тому

    Trauma is the seed of evil behind many of our social crises,,,,,, addiction, violence, prison population, toxic relationships all manifestations of things we were exposed to as children!!

  • @NAJAlliance
    @NAJAlliance 3 роки тому

    This is good...thank you!

  • @efuaotoo2244
    @efuaotoo2244 3 роки тому

    Tony did an excellent job with this interview!

  • @shantellgonzalez7916
    @shantellgonzalez7916 3 роки тому

    She is absolutely right!

  • @iamthevioletgirl
    @iamthevioletgirl 3 роки тому

    Thank you! What happened to you is so correct!

  • @hasitdawnedonyou
    @hasitdawnedonyou 3 роки тому

    As a survivor of child abuse, asking what happened to you to my parents who were also abused, really didn’t help. Yes, they were abused themselves and they continued the abuse cycle and to me that’s just wrong and irresponsible.

  • @thereIsaidit123
    @thereIsaidit123 3 роки тому +2

    This is the woman who advised meghan and harry to destroy Harry's family ties! Not the person I would get any advice from.