I feel so trapped by this, even though I have goals I am too apathetic to care most of the time. I went for a walk yesterday in a park, a really long one, and it was beautiful, near the end I realized I felt alive and not apathetic which was amazing. Yet, I got back home and it settled on me again.
I can relate, I really enjoy going for my walks and setting goals and I feel great afterwards but in the end there is always the dark cloud that looms over head and when I am actively engaged in something I am able to stay ahead of it, but as soon as I take a moment to rest or have a sit down it catches up to me.. it's like this never ending game of running away from the depressive feelings, its always with me lying in wait and strikes when I am most vulnerable. it's like being cursed to always forage ahead or the darkness catches up to you. I keep thinking I can continue handling it on my own having spent years with this thing but I just don't want to take antidepressants because, I want to feel every bit of my humanity even if it sucks sometimes
I can definitely relate to this. The only thing that FINALLY got me out of it was praying. If that is foreign to you, I understand you may not believe in it but for me it was my Salvation! You do not have to even say formal prayers, just get yourself alone without any distractions, and ask God to show Himself to you. Tell Him your problems, focus on your issue with apathy and ask Him to show you what to do AND to give you the motivation to stay and STICK with it. We can't expect God to answer our prayers after one attempt. He wants a dialogue with us, wants us to want to talk to Him. Basically He wants a close relationship with us because He truly loves us. God will not force Himself on us though. He wants us to exert some effort to reach out to Him. This is the only thing that had a lasting effect on my apathy and depression. I will say a prayer for you that you have it in your heart to reach out to Him. Never Give Up!
Sometimes I suffer from this, along with being irritated and annoyed by EVERYTHING. Some days I just wake up irritated and it doesn’t go away until the next day. Like when that happens I don’t even want to hear people talk, I just want silence and peace.
Apathy can also be your mind's response to chronic stress. When you are constantly bombarded with abuse from toxic people around you, your mind responds with apathy, to shut down pain.
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Apathy has been a double edged sword for me. After suffering a break up, I’ve lost myself. I’m generally emotionally aware and I was always stuck in a state of “flow”. I was always immersed in living and I was just generally happy with life no matter what. Now I’m a blunt tool. I literally don’t care about anything. Good or bad. It helps in someway. I managed to overcome my insecurities immediately but I’ve completely lost touch with myself. I have no real identity since my fears/wants are completely gone. It even overrode my depression. I don’t care to feel or build connections with anyone. I don’t hate or love anything. This is the most empty existence someone could feel. I only hope that no one else has to go through this.
I think I might feel* something similar, but don't see it as something bad or wrong. Actually there are plenty of positives of the situation, as you're less predisposed to waste your time and resources on something stupid. The point is that you're not particularly efficient in this state. Actually I'm not sure if I should use the word "feel" there, but the language is as it is
Some care to be different or care to be shown. You must mean considerably adjusted, just to general matters in concern,,? No one ever makes too much of ignoring themselves for too long... 🙏 Aspects of life's course can beat us out of zing a bit. I like to mix it up a bit often to keep inspired. More the creative type, I notice things seem to disconnect from me than I disconnect from them. But I consider this more of a perspective, like a law of attraction. Whereby if it doesn't come to you you go find it. One wayeads to greater experience as well one way leads to greater realization. I decided to take routine breaks from activities with more concienciousness. That's becoming more of my little personal tweak to create some more productivity and personal fulfilment. But still I could relax all day but it bundles up way too much pented anxiety. Hey, come to think of it.... it's funny but have you ever met people seeming so apathetic and so regularly in the comfort zone that you could patent or extract essence of bottom from them? Anyway, to them they'd likely see it entirely in a different light!
Hi I just want to ask if a person scared of talking and avoid conversation with others and if asked a simple question the person the heart start beats very fast and feels it can't do anything and always depend on someone. Confused what is wrong
It can be difficult to achieve Flow State when I bite off more than I can chew, and a task becomes too challenging. The situation can quickly devolve into worry, and then it's hard to keep doing the work. For me, that has been a constant cycle.
One reason why many feel apathetic is from being constantly overstimulated from our fast lives which leave us feeling like dopamine addicts looking for another hit from the internets dopamine slot machine (social media, youtube, etc.)
Depression makes me apathetic and it's always a sign that it's coming back. Anyway, super interesting video, those graphs enlightened me so much, you have no idea. I'm gonna share it with my friends and my therapist
Yes that's what I do I look up things on UA-cam about mental health all the time. Therapy never seem to do much of anything for me and constantly wanting to know more about myself.
@@vivvy_0 your health is your wealth and managing yourself is a part of your responsibility. It's great these tools exist that empower us instead of weakening us like the system tends to do.
This made me realize that maybe I'm actually not as apathetic as I thought. I always have this vague sense of dissatisfaction and frustration but no....real feelings I guess. But I get ideas and maybe I even have the motivation for them, just not the energy. It's more like a constant state of being overwhelmed, everything is just more effort than it's worth but on some level I still want to do it. I just often can't
I feel the same, I feel like if something does excite me I just don't have the energy and sometimes become overwhelmed and confused by the sudden influx of good feelings. Then I become sort of frustrated because I can't settle down or focus on anything. I also feel like, there's nothing left to experience, that everything is on repeat or remixed.. like you meet the same people or personalities but they just appear in different bodies if that makes sense, same desires, humor or interests and reactions it all feels repetitive and all done before, nothing seems unique and novel anymore.. it's hard to put into words
Dr. Marks... this is GOLD. Not only do you describe the mental state with research, you offer a clear assessment tool to help us learn more about ourselves AND you offer solutions to help us out of the whirlpool...thank you so much for this. Much appreciated. I will forward this to a friend who seems to fit this problem.
Apathy is a hard state to be in when you have comorbid mental illnesses 🙋🏽♂️. Anxiety, coupled with depressive states and an apathetic state make it tough to commit to (or even begin) anything. I've found that just *doing an activity* that fits your profile is a good way to begin breaking through the slump. Don't wait until you "feel better" to start something, *just go for it* and with time, it'll usually arouse the parts of your brain that are kind of "sleeping" when you're feeling apathetic, and you should slowly experience some relief... but keep at it! It rang a bell when you got to Deep Thinker 🧠. This explains why gaming 🎮 and the arts 🎨 have always been my go-to for reducing stress and anxiety, as well as to feel "charged up." Thanks, Dr. Marks! ☺
I was a musician and was constantly in a state of flow. It was amazing but was so hard to lose when I had to quit. The first half of this video gave me physical chest pain....it hurts so badly to lose your ability to be in flow. But the second half of this video gave me hope, thank you.
Same here... Same. I quit music, took antidepressants, and went through a stressful period all at once, and this video hit too close to home. God I miss expressing myself with music.
I had this ever since childhood and still struggle with it till this day. Unfortunately, many African American families just think the kid is rebellious. So I appreciate your videos.
Me too :-( I’m hispanic and… my family thinks I’m careless and lazy. All they do is criticize me and call me names. I didn’t know I was struggling with this until my teen years.
Wonderful…thanks…overwhelmed today…sometimes I get apathy when really, I am perhaps overwhelmed and feel rushed. I zone out and lose focus…no goals can be prioritized then…it’s overwhelming …and I grasp for a dopamine hit… buzz my hair etc.
Sounds like me! Can’t count how many times I’ve buzzed or died my hair at 1am just to feel something, knowing I have a mountain of responsibilities to tend to.
Some people develop Apathy as an early symptom of a dementia. It’s not that ‘they don’t care’, it’s that their failing brain ‘can’t care’. The part of their brain involved in caring and motivation is being attacked by the disease. OT and dementia trainer Teepa Snow (UNC) has a good video on this topic. Saw this with an elderly family member.
Yep, people with apathy and excess boredom seem to be a disease of plague taking us over. Or them over. I'd like to think if I developed one of those mental diseases I'd still have something in the tank. Some people dontvaspire because possibly someone off something has told them to frequently that they are beaten in themselves. Lack of volition leads to brain disease and lack of physical activity contributes to heart disease. I can accept these as pretty rough bookends to health and life in general without going in much deeper into matters. Even sciences isn't completely science when come to think of it sometimes 🙏 They're more like options based on convention and general rules. Attempting to motivate some people with their fixed attitudes is difficult. To a point at times it seems who really needs to find out if it leads to brain disease?
I feel like it takes me a lot to actually be immersed into something or to genuinely be excited. I can get excited but very rarely can I feel pure joy and outward excitement
I've mentioned it on other videos, but this also ties in with hormone imbalances. I would love to see an explanation deep diving into this topic. I have pcos (estrogen dominant) and I am just realizing the link between my apathetic and depressed state and my hormones. A realization came to me a couple of years ago, that I literally had no feelings. I never was extremely happy or sad, did not feel intense love or anything. I thought back to my teenage years and how happy I used to be and how many emotions I felt when experiencing life. I realized something was definitely wrong. My family even actually told me I seemed so flat and emotionless. I began with hormone replacement therapy and doing steps to ease my pcos symptoms and suddenly I was beginning to feel like a "real" person with deep emotions. I'm now seeing I was apathetic for the last 10 years of my life due to my hormone imbalance. So I definitely think that's something that should be looked at as well.
I already had chronic depression when my son passed away. Thats when the apathy took over my life and almost cost me my job. This video helps me see it wasnt just me but a normal part of grief.
For me it feels so so good to be apathetic like this, I feel absolutely nothing, it’s so much better than the pain I felt before. It’s just I’m not even here but it’s not bad, I feel nothing but I can still get excited. I like it like this, it’s so much better this way. I have almost no thoughts which means no bad thoughts, and even when I do have those bad thoughts they have no feeling, like they don’t make me feel bad. I’m simply existing here. I never feel bad anymore. My apathy used to hurt but now that pain is gone, I’m simply here now, I neither wish to live nor die. This state of existence is so euphoric, like I’m just floating on a cloud or something, I’m in my own little world where nothing matters.
I feel the same way, nothing has value therefore i pretty much cant feel fear/grief (which is awesome) but also cant experience much desire/pleasure which is far from awesome...
Oh my god just yesterday I searched for a video about apathy on your channel and never found it. and today you uploaded it!!! Wow that means a lot to me
This channel is one of the best ones for anyone who's learning English as a foreign language, which is my case. Every single piece of information shared in here has been pretty helpful for me.
You are an angel! Never have I come across such informative concise but thorough videos on mental health. With my ADHD it's so hard to hear/ remember info sometimes even though it's so important to my growth. You're doing a public service tbh, so many people need to hear this stuff and don't have easy access! Thank you thank you thank you!
1:37 *”And even though it sounds like [apathy] feels like a nice, low-key state, it’s not”.* Hear hear! Anyone who has been on mood stabilisers (anti-psychotics etc) knows that apathy is NOT the same as being calm. It’s absolutely horrible. (Disclaimer: Had a hypo-manic episode on prednisone-am not psychotic.)
I really liked this vid. It felt informative and not like I was being talked down to. I'm very apathetic and even beginning activities is hard for me. Flow State sounds like heaven and I've rarely been in that state. Wish I had a therapist like her. She gives off the "supportive, open minded, mom" energy.
This is me my whole life, struggling to understand if there’s anything wrong with me or I’m just lazy. But I don’t want to go anywhere or do anything most days. Just don’t care to start a business make friends.. I’m sure it’s depresssion but what if I’m just lazy and uninterested? Sigh
This was a great video explanation and had some useful resources. But the worst thing about apathy (for me) is that when you are in it, it is very hard to find any reason to even try and get yourself out of it. Sometimes I don't even want to get out of it. I can see how ultimately shallow and pointless most of those "productive" activities that people concern themselves with really are, and I know I COULD go back to doing them, but I just don't want to. Sometimes it just feels easier to relax into the quick sand and hope it clears on its own naturally at some point then to constantly fight it by being superficially productive with activities that, while nice in the moment, ultimately amount to very little. I think when a person has been emotionally starved for long enough, this is what happens.
I did find that the lack of feeling or apathy was extremely difficult. Finally I (with consultation) started reducing the number of antidepressants I was on and then the final one reduced the amount. I called the years my depression coma. Or comma if I am feeling playful with words. As I became aware of myself I also mourn the missed opportunities and even the losses that occurred during that time that I did not feel. No amount of therapy or effort could counteract the medication and it was not until the medication was reviewed that I began to sleep better and gain some moments of flow and progress with therapy. I am so glad you have these videos. Hopefully this helps prevent people like me from having to endure years of suboptimal therapy as all I knew was I was not good and was told depression takes time, not a linear recovery. Years were wasted and while I look forward to your videos. Unfortunately I am in the healthcare zone of not in need of urgent care so funding is not available for maintenance. So I am mostly on my own and your information gives me hope that I can learn the language in order to ask for what I can try next.
Been in this state for years. Now, I’m 20 and I’m trying to break my daydreaming habit. Started as a coping mechanism as a kid and is now an addiction. I just exist in my own little world.
Ironically my apathy- exhaustion - fatigue - physical mental emotional - makes even these words a challenge - resting frequently to complete - *existing* surviving - for years beyond count - diagnosed with severe clinical depression in 2009, then ptsd & anxiety 2012 - now waiting on specialist for pain & fatigue (blood tests results show REAL - not just in mind) - WHY do I kept trying to get better, get help - pointless - think that's why my body in pain - too much over too many years - stress is exhausting overwhelming- *where* is the help and support - too exhausted fight, write those words , pointless, nobody listens - nothing changes - things just keep getting worse Sorry - don't mind me - I *USED* to be the opposite of this - FLOW
Do you regularly consume any sort of caffeine?? It’s really bad for our adrenals!! That’s what makes us fatigue all the time even after 9+ hours of sleep. Im not gonna lie the withdrawals are terrible, I hated life for 2 whole weeks. But eventually I got better and had natural energy all day long. It’s been a month now and I don’t expect to go back. Remember even soda and teas have caffeine!!! Caffeine depletes you of all minerals/vit in your body. It will also block your body from absorbing certain minerals/vitamins. So it’s absolutely necessary to replenish your body again with the essential vitamins/minerals your body needs to function correctly. Just sharing what’s helped me, hope this helps you or anyone in need of it. 💕
@@freeminded7790 thank you - appreciate the thought, the care, the kindness - emlinated caffeine from my system oh years ago - not that I was drinking much - thanks for the thought advice & kindness
I have lived with chronic depression on one level or another for 40 years. But with effective antidepressant meds it was always manageable because I always had so many things I was interested in doing. But with several life altering events occurring about the same time, the past 12 months I have had a terrible time with apathy! I have always been an optimistic, resilient person. But this past year has been eating my lunch. Nothing I have tried has helped. But, now after seeing this video, for the first time in a long time I feel some hope in regaining an interest in doing something. Nothing is worse than this feeling of just existing. Thank you, Dr. Marks for this video. It will probably help more people than you think.
Intellectually I feel like I care and when I used to see someone hurting I would feel bad if I caused it and feel sad if I didn't, but I find it harder to care if someone is putting me on the spot. I end up feeling more defensive like I'm being personally attacked rather than relaxed and feel objectively self-reflective and like I'm comfortable admitting how I truly feel and what I truly think to the person. I've also had depression all of my life and it's made it very hard for me to feel interested in a lot of conversations I have, or in going out, or in socializing, or in most things that are expected of me. I do still feel like I have the ability to empathize, but in general I just feel normally distant and in the last few years I've had an especially hard time wanting to empathize. I feel better and safer by not bothering.
I get this. I have very high cognitive empathy but very low affective empathy. I only care about and feel for people I love deeply. I think there are 5 people and 1 cat that I truly love and have empathy for. I'm still friendly and nice to people. I'm not mean. But I just don't care, and nor do I expect myself to. And nor do I allow anyone else to expect me to. My life, my feelings.
@@ladybaabaa3294 i felt like i had high cognitive and affective empathy. if anything i think i overempathasized, which made me really sensitive and insecure, which i chose to hide, and which apparently is a type of autism. i felt like my lack of understanding of some things that were normal is what causes me to overanalyze what's going on, but I cared deeply about how others felt and i could cry when they cried, and I felt guilt if I did something wrong, and I tended to be very sensitive to if others were angry, or upset, or tense, or unhappy, or sad. i think it's normal for everyone to not care about something and that people just have different ways of expressing how. i tended to not want to waste time caring about anything that wasn't something real for me, in my own life, since it's not worth wasting time and energy caring about all of the problems in the world when it's not realistic to do so.
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This really opened pandora's box. It's like i'm getting to know myself from someone else's perspective as if they're trying to get to know me, and it works... 🤔 Thanks, Doc 🙏
The war , the crisis , the layoffs the pandemic , so many things to deal with -eventually the burnout , depression and complete apathy and disinterest to life
You're definitely not alone there! While everything was locked down last year for months, I changed from going out somewhere most days (and feeling sluggish and blah if I didn't), to never going out except to the supermarket. Now, and for a long time since things opened up again, I go out a few times a week, but mostly I stay home, sleep ridiculously late, and feel relief when I don't have anything planned. It's...weird.
@@DrTraceyMarks Will you please follow up with apathy in the workplace? Businesses spend money on "Employee Engagement" programs, yet ignore the daily stress of working in a toxic environment such as being bullied by a co-worker?
Wow this is a very powerful video! My problem with building a "good flow state" is choosing goals that are too challenging and not toning them down so they are more manageable. I always push my limits and sometimes do this too much. A good area for me to grow. Great video thank you!
You're welcome Justin. I think aiming too high is pretty typical of ambitious people who are used to achieving. It's good you recognize that in yourself. All the best to you and your accomplishments. Also thanks for joining UA-cam mental health awareness/education space. 🙂
@@DrTraceyMarks Your videos have been a big inspiration to me! Thank you. I recently started my UA-cam channel to have a place to reach more people with my research. It is amazing what you have accomplished and how many people you have helped. If I can reach even a small percentage of people but help them in some way it would be so rewarding. And certainly be part of my flow:)
Empathy is the act of being kind..it's a divine start in which I plan my day Using my infinite heart space. Your mind is a computer memory and your heart is a infinite computer processor. Control your spiritual abundance by being actively kind. Loving you is always ❤ 💓 💖 💗 every is significant for growth
To me life is currently the vibe/ feeling of making the bed before you take a nap and then the entire time you take a nap the phone rings then hangs up when you answer it and you're doing a sleep study that is volunteer only and done by a cafeteria chef
I needed this video so much. I know I'm not apathetic by nature, but I am not resilient enough when things don't go the way I planned. Thank you so much!!
Thanks for this, Dr. Marks! This way of framing apathy is extremely interesting and potentially going to be a very important tool for me. Over the past three years I have gone through sudden abandonment by a deeply loved romantic partner, long term unemployment, homelessness, and social isolation leading me to near complete withdrawal from society. I made a big investment in myself last year to learn a new profession so I could return to the workforce and a meaningful life, but to my astonishment I found myself feeling utterly unmotivated to put in the work. I suffer from severe ADHD and depression with a lot of executive dysfunction and dissociation, but those had never stopped me before. It was (and is) very distressing, yet that distress wasn't coalescing into a drive to do anything about it, despite the fact that I had set myself a challenge and defined set of goals with a realistic path toward accomplishing them. Again and again I find myself slipping back into merely existing in anguish, yet feeling no desire to move away from that and toward happiness. I am not giving up though, and I intend to extract whatever insight from this model of apathetic behaviour I can.
Going through a lot of the same things! Dumped unexpectedly, trying to make a career change, bad ADHD and depression with tons of executive functioning issues. COVID added a ton of stress too but we’re getting through to the other side. Keep up the good work and know that you aren’t alone in your struggles! We got this!
@@jalenbankston9182 Thank you! I hope things get better for all of us. The start of COVID was such a strange time. Everyone's world was falling apart but my world was already at a point where it couldn't get any worse. (I'd just found out in Feb that my ex had a child with their new partner in 2019 a year after ending things with me - we'd planned to start a family in 2020). Covid restrictions had virtually no impact on my cloistered life. In my perverse, broken frame of reality though it was like: 'Oh, another thing I am excluded from.'
Oh Maxwell what a tough road you’ve had. But keep pressing forward and don’t give up. That’s amazing that you learned a new profession. That’s huge. You just have to get some more momentum to breakthrough your current state. But that wind for your sails will come.
Steps on how to remove apathy: Hangout with good friends even if you don't want to Do things that you used to love Taking a music or art therapy class Try to exercise everyday
My life right now can be summed in 3 words (Apathy, Misanthropy, Melancholy) I have Major Depressive disorder, Generalized anxiety disorder and Obsessive compulsive disorder. I got the holly trinity of mental health issues
I found my flow state in landscaping but anything outside of that I'm completely apathetic. Thank you for this video because I was looking for a word to describe my state of mind to my therapist and video broke it down perfectly.
Thank you Dr. Marks for a superb guide on how-to overcome apathy. Your concise plain-language selfcare micro-tutorial will enable me to _do_ the work of aiming toward my "greatest conceivable good" per Dr. Jordan Peterson. You have changed my dismay of being trapped in the "flatland" of apathy to the optimism of "can-do." What a relief!
I am anemic and read that apathy can be a symptom. From the way you explained it and what I've found out online it sounds like exactly what I feel most times
I am reading the book "Flow" at the moment, it is really interesting! Also congrats for finding out how to pronounce his name, a lot of UA-camr just give up.
I've been feeling more and more like this as I'm getting older. I know I should do certain things that are important like housework, but I just don't care. I see the mess and don't see the point. I know I should interact with ppl more but I don't care. This is so worrisome. I've been in and out of therapy for over 20 yrs. I don't know what will help.
I am a Deep Thinker too (I've just took the assessment). And indeed those activities fit me well. Especially, drawing, painting or colouring. Thanks for this video.
Dr. Marks is the best suggestion I’ve ever gotten from UA-cam. Thank you for using your platform for good. There’s so much I take away with every video.
I never realized there was a word for this.. when I was 16, I was suicidal in a hospital. My mom decided to let my fly to another state to visit my best friend who moved away. I was so empty in general, that when I knew I was going to see her, I suddenly felt happiness. And I had a near breakdown and cried immensely just because I felt an emotion. I felt happiness, let alone I felt anything at all for once, in a year. I couldn't really handle it because it had been so long.
This is really helpful, thank you so much. I'm a deep thinker too, and it's REALLY hard for me to get into a flow state as I have a large family and they don't care about my flow state! Being an introvert, this makes sense too, they seem connected.
Good presentation! I instantly realized my flow. I have to create. Writing, editing, posting visuals. Even when believing a blog post or story is not going to draw a readership, I still get an enormous feeling of satisfaction from the long, precise working of telling the story.
This has recently manifested in my being. It started with prolonged mild depression. You lose every concern. I even stopped eating. I think about what i want to eat, and the brain just tells my body that i ate. only eat when my body fails.. don't enjoy it, just do it... and i do not care. I still remember being normal, but don't care about that. At least there is still work to force me to some normal action. I throw away the things i made and loved. Still don't care. I can not care about anything any more. It is going to suck working through this phase of life. You know no one can help you, and you can't help yourself... and you dont care. One could almost understand suicide, but why bother..? Even that dosent interest me. It is terrifying.
I was exactly looking for a tool to determine your "flow zone", but I call it synergy. I had the fortune to have been in this state of flow/synergy in my 2 previous careers, one for 10 yrs and another for 8 years... sadly after the pandemic I have not been able to create that again so I've been in a state of apathy for over 2 years, plus it didn't help that I was suffering from hypothyroidism, though I did not know, the symptoms are similar to depression, I'm already on meds and stable on this end finally. I've been doing introspection during these 2+ yrs and one of the things I've concluded is that I need to know exactly what activities will tie in perfect synergy to my natural talents/gifts will fuel that state of flow/synergy in order to pursue that again... One activity I did not hear mentioned was serving/volunteering, going external is powerful, I dare say more so than many of the other activities listed, but I guess this might just be my preference. All those years living in flow/synergy I felt so blessed to have found my "perfect" fit in a career, loving my job everyday, etc... I think it was like being on dopamine and now I'm living through withdrawal... Knowing how good flow/synergy is, it's a double edge sword, a blessing and a curse, now I can't see/make myself do anything else but that which gets me to flow/synergy... And I rather wait for that than take on something that will get me to a deeper depression/apathy, the search and wait are excruciating, but I hope and pray it'll be worth it in the end 🙏🏻🤞🏻💪🏻... Or maybe not and I'll have to find other ways to cope not finding flow, hate to even think that may be a possibility for this phase in my life... I'm going to check out that website, thank you for sharing this video Dr. R God bless you!!! 🙏🏻❤️
I’ve felt apathy for 2 years now. It comes alongside feeling depressed, anxious, hopeless and emotionally numb/dissociated. For example, traveling and being outdoors was one of my greatest joy in life. I was also very motivated to do photography as well as having a career in healthcare. I first stated feeling apathy towards my career but now, even a trip doesn’t get me excited. I have other favors as well, such as a chronic breathing tension issue but yeah. I’ve been seeing a therapist for months now. She’s amazing but I still feel stuck
Dr. Marks I really appreciate how you highlight and disseminate more recognizable mental health syptoms/ disorders as well as the more common place issues like apathy that can adversely affect the quality of life. AND for discussing more holistic methods of treating certain disorders. Thanks Dr. Marks 👍🏾🙏🏾💯
This short speech, was beautiful, keep it up whatever you have been blessed with. Apathy is the worst thing. I am apathetic at the moment, sorry I'm English. But your words strike a cord. 🙏👌🎶
This was so insightful! I came from a very controlling parent and a passive aggressive controlling spouse. You gave me so much insight. I grew up with fear worry and anxiety. But now I have tools to work with. You gave me hope! Thanks 🙏🏻
This helped me alot. I have had underlying depression, anxiety disorder, trauma, with many episodes of major depression and being on meds for 8 years helped in some areas but for quite awhile I feel numb and apathetic. I tried weaning down a bit on my meds but after a few days I am down and anxious again so then I had to up the dose a little to see if it helps. I haven't been sleeping the greatest either. This was helpful in understanding what is going on. My psychiatrist never explains anything to me. It's just a 30 minutes phone appt about what I am thinking or feeling and then I get the same response that i will have it all my life and a depressed mind focuses on the negative. We don't have good mental health resources here.
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You are so thoughtful in the way that you teach and explain various sinarios and mentalities. It's so easy to tell how much hard work is put into each video that you make. Thank you for your dedication and compassion towards your profession
What I'm taking away from this is that cultivating skills is the key, whether those be social, emotional, vocational etc. Where we want to live is on the right side of that diagram rather than the left or middle. Apathy is low-challenge and low-skill because it is a maladaptive coping strategy of avoiding both. I've been keeping this in mind the last few days, monitoring my own behaviour and actively trying to eliminate things from my life that enable or exacerbate avoidance and don't contribute to acquisition of skills I need to overcome my challenges.
I quit antidepressants (for my depression and anxiety) years ago, as they didn't make the deeper problems go away. Now just I try to notice my bad behaviours and tweak them accordingly. And it's ok to have cry sessions as long as your boss doesn't see it.
I think this is what happend to me. A few years ago i was a pretty happy and go lucky child, i learned some really bad things i wish i wouldnt have, and then something really bad happend to someone close to me, (things i wont get deep into but were very traumatic and also heart breaking for me to hear and see) all of this in just 3 months. That was eighth grade, ever since then, i havent felt the same. I lay down feeling super incomplete and feeling as if i have failed someone or something, i feel as if i have missed opportunities and it makes me sad. I also dont feel the same joy i felt doing things i loved, or really any joy at all for that matter. I havent cared much about anything or anyone except for a handful of people. Im in 12th grade now, and i recently got a job. I have started to feel a bit happier and i think its helping me out, i just wanted to put this out there
I definitely struggle with this. I never knew what this term exactly was called but I knew how I felt and this matches up perfectly. I always just think what’s the point of any of this? Stuff that used to be interesting and fun just doesn’t hit the same anymore. I feel like my life’s just on autopilot and I just repeat the same cycle day in and day out. I feel like I just don’t have the energy to care about anything anymore, even just showing emotion sometimes. I’m a Christian and I’ve been praying lots and I’m hoping to get out of this slump because I always just feel like there’s gotta be more to life than this. I really just wish I could be a kid again, when everything was cool and interesting and I actually looked forward to living life
I have dealt with pretty bad bipolar disorder my whole life. I am on antipsychotic drugs that I believe really messes with my motivation. I was becoming more driven after my bipolar started to get better and then I got diagnosed with lupus. I dealt with chronic pain almost every day for a year. I worked so hard to treat it and cope with it as best I could. A year and a half later I got a bad case of EBV and learned my liver function is rapidly declining and my heart isn’t beat properly. On top of that I’ve been dealing with an eating disorder for 7 years. What’s crazy about it is My life I almost perfect outside of the problems I have with my body. I have always been admired for being kind and attractive. I have so much potential to do good in the world but I’m loosing all my care to get better and I dont know why. My motivation and carelessness is getting so bad that I am binge eating every night and am alone every day just watching the same tv shows over and over. My feelings of self hatred intensify every day.
I'm the same. It feels as though I've had more than my fair share of really unpleasant people over the past few years (being victimised at work and bullying neighbours). It's got to the point where I'm almost done with people. I'm keeping myself to myself at the moment. But I'm still hopeful. I have a loyal friend in London who I see every couple of months and my present neighbour is really friendly and we've been out for drinks a couple of times. Things like that keep me hopeful that there are good people out there in amongst all the narcissists etc. Good luck for the future. I hope you find some really good people you can call friends.
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Dr. Marks, thank you for these informative videos. I am a graduate student who is in the last year (internship) for mental health counseling. As an LPC-intern, these videos add to my toolbox and knowledge. I have worked in this field for almost 20 years, in various capacities. I look forward to your future videos and am hopeful that you will venture into webinars and in-person events. My husband is from Ga, so I am sure we will relocate to that area later in life. I am also a deep thinker and find it imperative that I have time alone to think. Thanks, again for the time you put into sharing.
I feel so trapped by this, even though I have goals I am too apathetic to care most of the time. I went for a walk yesterday in a park, a really long one, and it was beautiful, near the end I realized I felt alive and not apathetic which was amazing. Yet, I got back home and it settled on me again.
I can relate. I have stages of apathy and it seems to get worse as I'm aging. I do things to get outside myself, but it only works temporarily.
Buy tryptophan and tyrosine both are amino acid they turn into serotonin and dopamine in the brain they boost your mood
I can relate, I really enjoy going for my walks and setting goals and I feel great afterwards but in the end there is always the dark cloud that looms over head and when I am actively engaged in something I am able to stay ahead of it, but as soon as I take a moment to rest or have a sit down it catches up to me.. it's like this never ending game of running away from the depressive feelings, its always with me lying in wait and strikes when I am most vulnerable. it's like being cursed to always forage ahead or the darkness catches up to you. I keep thinking I can continue handling it on my own having spent years with this thing but I just don't want to take antidepressants because, I want to feel every bit of my humanity even if it sucks sometimes
I feel similar, how are you doing now?
I can definitely relate to this. The only thing that FINALLY got me out of it was praying. If that is foreign to you, I understand you may not believe in it but for me it was my Salvation! You do not have to even say formal prayers, just get yourself alone without any distractions, and ask God to show Himself to you. Tell Him your problems, focus on your issue with apathy and ask Him to show you what to do AND to give you the motivation to stay and STICK with it. We can't expect God to answer our prayers after one attempt. He wants a dialogue with us, wants us to want to talk to Him. Basically He wants a close relationship with us because He truly loves us. God will not force Himself on us though. He wants us to exert some effort to reach out to Him. This is the only thing that had a lasting effect on my apathy and depression. I will say a prayer for you that you have it in your heart to reach out to Him. Never Give Up!
Sometimes I suffer from this, along with being irritated and annoyed by EVERYTHING. Some days I just wake up irritated and it doesn’t go away until the next day. Like when that happens I don’t even want to hear people talk, I just want silence and peace.
You're just like me lol
Take your mental health shaming out of here. That's absolutely disgusting.
@@RoseRedRoseWhite Looks like they did, and now I'm morbidly curious as to what was said lol
I SLEEP or play SLEEP JUST SO I DON'T HAVE TO ENGAGE WITH MY OWN CHILDREN💔
Same…
Apathy can also be your mind's response to chronic stress. When you are constantly bombarded with abuse from toxic people around you, your mind responds with apathy, to shut down pain.
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True
Yes and it is more like a disconnect for relief then apathy I think.
Yeah… pretty much T:
Very true
This is me, 100% apathetic. My brother died eleven months ago and I’ve been this way since Christmas. I’m just existing.
💕💕💕 hope your pain eases soon 💕💕💕
So sorry for your loss..... sending you love 💕
I understand. I lost my dad last year and I’m really struggling.
Get well, soon. Feel what you need to feel. But also look around.Peace and Power to you
That’s me after my dad passed
It absolutely is the worst. It’s the hardest hole to get out of I’ve ever found myself in.
It’s been a year. Have you gotten out of the hole?
Apathy has been a double edged sword for me. After suffering a break up, I’ve lost myself. I’m generally emotionally aware and I was always stuck in a state of “flow”. I was always immersed in living and I was just generally happy with life no matter what.
Now I’m a blunt tool. I literally don’t care about anything. Good or bad. It helps in someway. I managed to overcome my insecurities immediately but I’ve completely lost touch with myself. I have no real identity since my fears/wants are completely gone. It even overrode my depression. I don’t care to feel or build connections with anyone. I don’t hate or love anything.
This is the most empty existence someone could feel. I only hope that no one else has to go through this.
Hey sorry to hear that man, I can relate to this and it is absolutely horrible. I hope you feel a bit better now
Have you took any antidepressants?
I am going through this ...
i go thru this as well but i've only just realized it..
I think I might feel* something similar, but don't see it as something bad or wrong. Actually there are plenty of positives of the situation, as you're less predisposed to waste your time and resources on something stupid. The point is that you're not particularly efficient in this state.
Actually I'm not sure if I should use the word "feel" there, but the language is as it is
I forget what caring feels like. This helps me understand it a little deeper. Thanks Dr. Marks.
Some care to be different or care to be shown.
You must mean considerably adjusted, just to general matters in concern,,?
No one ever makes too much of ignoring themselves for too long... 🙏
Aspects of life's course can beat us out of zing a bit.
I like to mix it up a bit often to keep inspired. More the creative type, I notice things seem to disconnect from me than I disconnect from them.
But I consider this more of a perspective, like a law of attraction.
Whereby if it doesn't come to you you go find it.
One wayeads to greater experience as well one way leads to greater realization.
I decided to take routine breaks from activities with more concienciousness.
That's becoming more of my little personal tweak to create some more productivity and personal fulfilment.
But still I could relax all day but it bundles up way too much pented anxiety.
Hey, come to think of it.... it's funny but have you ever met people seeming so apathetic and so regularly in the comfort zone that you could patent or extract essence of bottom from them?
Anyway, to them they'd likely see it entirely in a different light!
Hi I just want to ask if a person scared of talking and avoid conversation with others and if asked a simple question the person the heart start beats very fast and feels it can't do anything and always depend on someone. Confused what is wrong
Same here
i actually do forget what caring feels like
It can be difficult to achieve Flow State when I bite off more than I can chew, and a task becomes too challenging. The situation can quickly devolve into worry, and then it's hard to keep doing the work. For me, that has been a constant cycle.
One reason why many feel apathetic is from being constantly overstimulated from our fast lives which leave us feeling like dopamine addicts looking for another hit from the internets dopamine slot machine (social media, youtube, etc.)
This.
For my friend, THIS, 2ND. LOL
@Regular Gamer AMEN 👍
true but genuinely nothing else engages me sometimes
Everyone can relate fo sho
Depression makes me apathetic and it's always a sign that it's coming back. Anyway, super interesting video, those graphs enlightened me so much, you have no idea. I'm gonna share it with my friends and my therapist
I was told by a psychiatrist this is called anhedonia (lack of happiness).
Thank you so much for making these videos. Sadly, many of us are finding more help working ourselves on UA-cam than in the mental health system.
Yes that's what I do I look up things on UA-cam about mental health all the time. Therapy never seem to do much of anything for me and constantly wanting to know more about myself.
That's how it should be. Putting the power back in our own hands.
@@daddydari93?
@@vivvy_0 your health is your wealth and managing yourself is a part of your responsibility. It's great these tools exist that empower us instead of weakening us like the system tends to do.
Isn't that true!!
This made me realize that maybe I'm actually not as apathetic as I thought. I always have this vague sense of dissatisfaction and frustration but no....real feelings I guess. But I get ideas and maybe I even have the motivation for them, just not the energy. It's more like a constant state of being overwhelmed, everything is just more effort than it's worth but on some level I still want to do it. I just often can't
Yeah and when u are in this constant cycle life just seems pointless.
I feel the same, I feel like if something does excite me I just don't have the energy and sometimes become overwhelmed and confused by the sudden influx of good feelings. Then I become sort of frustrated because I can't settle down or focus on anything. I also feel like, there's nothing left to experience, that everything is on repeat or remixed.. like you meet the same people or personalities but they just appear in different bodies if that makes sense, same desires, humor or interests and reactions it all feels repetitive and all done before, nothing seems unique and novel anymore.. it's hard to put into words
Dr. Marks... this is GOLD. Not only do you describe the mental state with research, you offer a clear assessment tool to help us learn more about ourselves AND you offer solutions to help us out of the whirlpool...thank you so much for this. Much appreciated. I will forward this to a friend who seems to fit this problem.
You're so welcome E Grace! Thanks for sharing with others.
@@DrTraceyMarks can you please do a video explaining Neurofeedback therapy and it’s effects & benefits please
@@DrTraceyMarks I agree your videos are very well done and extremely helpful.
I would also love one on neurofeedback. Thanks for the great work
Why don't I care? Lately, I've been wondering, "why should I care?"
"Why should I care, why should I care ...," "5:15," The Who, 1973
Very relatable! I think a lot of people are feeling that these days especially since COVID demolished our lives.
People tell me to find something to care about. 🤷🏽♂️🤷🏽♂️
@@jchase5158 They mean well, but they don't get it. If you do find something meaningful to care about, let me know. I like good news.
Yes why care
Apathy is a hard state to be in when you have comorbid mental illnesses 🙋🏽♂️. Anxiety, coupled with depressive states and an apathetic state make it tough to commit to (or even begin) anything. I've found that just *doing an activity* that fits your profile is a good way to begin breaking through the slump. Don't wait until you "feel better" to start something, *just go for it* and with time, it'll usually arouse the parts of your brain that are kind of "sleeping" when you're feeling apathetic, and you should slowly experience some relief... but keep at it! It rang a bell when you got to Deep Thinker 🧠. This explains why gaming 🎮 and the arts 🎨 have always been my go-to for reducing stress and anxiety, as well as to feel "charged up." Thanks, Dr. Marks! ☺
Strange how a single word can clarify and open up so much. This is definitely something I need to look into more. Thank you!
I was a musician and was constantly in a state of flow. It was amazing but was so hard to lose when I had to quit. The first half of this video gave me physical chest pain....it hurts so badly to lose your ability to be in flow. But the second half of this video gave me hope, thank you.
Same here... Same. I quit music, took antidepressants, and went through a stressful period all at once, and this video hit too close to home. God I miss expressing myself with music.
I had this ever since childhood and still struggle with it till this day. Unfortunately, many African American families just think the kid is rebellious. So I appreciate your videos.
Me too :-( I’m hispanic and… my family thinks I’m careless and lazy. All they do is criticize me and call me names.
I didn’t know I was struggling with this until my teen years.
Wonderful…thanks…overwhelmed today…sometimes I get apathy when really, I am perhaps overwhelmed and feel rushed. I zone out and lose focus…no goals can be prioritized then…it’s overwhelming …and I grasp for a dopamine hit… buzz my hair etc.
I feel this!
Sounds like me! Can’t count how many times I’ve buzzed or died my hair at 1am just to feel something, knowing I have a mountain of responsibilities to tend to.
Some people develop Apathy as an early symptom of a dementia. It’s not that ‘they don’t care’, it’s that their failing brain ‘can’t care’. The part of their brain involved in caring and motivation is being attacked by the disease. OT and dementia trainer Teepa Snow (UNC) has a good video on this topic. Saw this with an elderly family member.
Yep, people with apathy and excess boredom seem to be a disease of plague taking us over. Or them over.
I'd like to think if I developed one of those mental diseases I'd still have something in the tank.
Some people dontvaspire because possibly someone off something has told them to frequently that they are beaten in themselves.
Lack of volition leads to brain disease and lack of physical activity contributes to heart disease.
I can accept these as pretty rough bookends to health and life in general without going in much deeper into matters.
Even sciences isn't completely science when come to think of it sometimes 🙏
They're more like options based on convention and general rules.
Attempting to motivate some people with their fixed attitudes is difficult.
To a point at times it seems who really needs to find out if it leads to brain disease?
Good insight @E Chase
I feel like it takes me a lot to actually be immersed into something or to genuinely be excited. I can get excited but very rarely can I feel pure joy and outward excitement
I feel like the movie Soul explained this pretty well too
I love that movie
I've mentioned it on other videos, but this also ties in with hormone imbalances. I would love to see an explanation deep diving into this topic.
I have pcos (estrogen dominant) and I am just realizing the link between my apathetic and depressed state and my hormones. A realization came to me a couple of years ago, that I literally had no feelings. I never was extremely happy or sad, did not feel intense love or anything. I thought back to my teenage years and how happy I used to be and how many emotions I felt when experiencing life.
I realized something was definitely wrong. My family even actually told me I seemed so flat and emotionless.
I began with hormone replacement therapy and doing steps to ease my pcos symptoms and suddenly I was beginning to feel like a "real" person with deep emotions. I'm now seeing I was apathetic for the last 10 years of my life due to my hormone imbalance. So I definitely think that's something that should be looked at as well.
Same. Which doc should I go, and which hormones you took? I am 18 years old
What kind of doctor does that theraphy?
I already had chronic depression when my son passed away. Thats when the apathy took over my life and almost cost me my job. This video helps me see it wasnt just me but a normal part of grief.
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Hope you're okay.
For me it feels so so good to be apathetic like this, I feel absolutely nothing, it’s so much better than the pain I felt before. It’s just I’m not even here but it’s not bad, I feel nothing but I can still get excited. I like it like this, it’s so much better this way. I have almost no thoughts which means no bad thoughts, and even when I do have those bad thoughts they have no feeling, like they don’t make me feel bad. I’m simply existing here. I never feel bad anymore. My apathy used to hurt but now that pain is gone, I’m simply here now, I neither wish to live nor die. This state of existence is so euphoric, like I’m just floating on a cloud or something, I’m in my own little world where nothing matters.
I feel the same way, nothing has value therefore i pretty much cant feel fear/grief (which is awesome) but also cant experience much desire/pleasure which is far from awesome...
Oh my god just yesterday I searched for a video about apathy on your channel and never found it. and today you uploaded it!!! Wow that means a lot to me
I've suffered apathy for a long time. This video helped me realise I need to write music again. Thank you this video has really helped.
This channel is one of the best ones for anyone who's learning English as a foreign language, which is my case. Every single piece of information shared in here has been pretty helpful for me.
Great comment!
@@DrJustininJapan 😊
that's awesome. so happy you are learning. your English is great! 🙂
@@ambriaashley3383 thank u, my dear 😊
You are an angel! Never have I come across such informative concise but thorough videos on mental health. With my ADHD it's so hard to hear/ remember info sometimes even though it's so important to my growth. You're doing a public service tbh, so many people need to hear this stuff and don't have easy access! Thank you thank you thank you!
I didn’t realize apathy is what I’ve been feeling. Thank you for sharing, your videos always help me to learn more about myself and how to improve! 💕
So glad Juliette 😊
How is this channel so much more insightful than the past decade of mental health treatment from the VA
1:37 *”And even though it sounds like [apathy] feels like a nice, low-key state, it’s not”.* Hear hear! Anyone who has been on mood stabilisers (anti-psychotics etc) knows that apathy is NOT the same as being calm. It’s absolutely horrible. (Disclaimer: Had a hypo-manic episode on prednisone-am not psychotic.)
True. I'm apathic all the time. I don't know what to do...
I really liked this vid. It felt informative and not like I was being talked down to. I'm very apathetic and even beginning activities is hard for me. Flow State sounds like heaven and I've rarely been in that state. Wish I had a therapist like her. She gives off the "supportive, open minded, mom" energy.
This is me my whole life, struggling to understand if there’s anything wrong with me or I’m just lazy. But I don’t want to go anywhere or do anything most days. Just don’t care to start a business make friends.. I’m sure it’s depresssion but what if I’m just lazy and uninterested? Sigh
I can relate. I'm kinda going through that now. I'm literally just laying here watching this video but I know I need to be out working.
yeah i cant seem to care about anything. like i try hard to. i keep blaming myself for being lazy
This was a great video explanation and had some useful resources. But the worst thing about apathy (for me) is that when you are in it, it is very hard to find any reason to even try and get yourself out of it. Sometimes I don't even want to get out of it. I can see how ultimately shallow and pointless most of those "productive" activities that people concern themselves with really are, and I know I COULD go back to doing them, but I just don't want to. Sometimes it just feels easier to relax into the quick sand and hope it clears on its own naturally at some point then to constantly fight it by being superficially productive with activities that, while nice in the moment, ultimately amount to very little. I think when a person has been emotionally starved for long enough, this is what happens.
I did find that the lack of feeling or apathy was extremely difficult.
Finally I (with consultation) started reducing the number of antidepressants I was on and then the final one reduced the amount. I called the years my depression coma. Or comma if I am feeling playful with words.
As I became aware of myself I also mourn the missed opportunities and even the losses that occurred during that time that I did not feel. No amount of therapy or effort could counteract the medication and it was not until the medication was reviewed that I began to sleep better and gain some moments of flow and progress with therapy.
I am so glad you have these videos. Hopefully this helps prevent people like me from having to endure years of suboptimal therapy as all I knew was I was not good and was told depression takes time, not a linear recovery. Years were wasted and while I look forward to your videos. Unfortunately I am in the healthcare zone of not in need of urgent care so funding is not available for maintenance. So I am mostly on my own and your information gives me hope that I can learn the language in order to ask for what I can try next.
What a great comment. I laughed at the coma or comma. I wish I could get my mentally ill loved one to watch this video and to read your comments here.
Been in this state for years. Now, I’m 20 and I’m trying to break my daydreaming habit. Started as a coping mechanism as a kid and is now an addiction.
I just exist in my own little world.
Ironically my apathy- exhaustion - fatigue - physical mental emotional - makes even these words a challenge - resting frequently to complete - *existing* surviving - for years beyond count - diagnosed with severe clinical depression in 2009, then ptsd & anxiety 2012 - now waiting on specialist for pain & fatigue (blood tests results show REAL - not just in mind) - WHY do I kept trying to get better, get help - pointless - think that's why my body in pain - too much over too many years - stress is exhausting overwhelming- *where* is the help and support - too exhausted fight, write those words , pointless, nobody listens - nothing changes - things just keep getting worse
Sorry - don't mind me - I *USED* to be the opposite of this - FLOW
Do you regularly consume any sort of caffeine?? It’s really bad for our adrenals!! That’s what makes us fatigue all the time even after 9+ hours of sleep. Im not gonna lie the withdrawals are terrible, I hated life for 2 whole weeks. But eventually I got better and had natural energy all day long. It’s been a month now and I don’t expect to go back. Remember even soda and teas have caffeine!!! Caffeine depletes you of all minerals/vit in your body. It will also block your body from absorbing certain minerals/vitamins. So it’s absolutely necessary to replenish your body again with the essential vitamins/minerals your body needs to function correctly. Just sharing what’s helped me, hope this helps you or anyone in need of it. 💕
@@freeminded7790 thank you - appreciate the thought, the care, the kindness - emlinated caffeine from my system oh years ago - not that I was drinking much - thanks for the thought advice & kindness
I have lived with chronic depression on one level or another for 40 years. But with effective antidepressant meds it was always manageable because I always had so many things I was interested in doing. But with several life altering events occurring about the same time, the past 12 months I have had a terrible time with apathy! I have always been an optimistic, resilient person. But this past year has been eating my lunch. Nothing I have tried has helped. But, now after seeing this video, for the first time in a long time I feel some hope in regaining an interest in doing something. Nothing is worse than this feeling of just existing. Thank you, Dr. Marks for this video. It will probably help more people than you think.
Intellectually I feel like I care and when I used to see someone hurting I would feel bad if I caused it and feel sad if I didn't, but I find it harder to care if someone is putting me on the spot. I end up feeling more defensive like I'm being personally attacked rather than relaxed and feel objectively self-reflective and like I'm comfortable admitting how I truly feel and what I truly think to the person. I've also had depression all of my life and it's made it very hard for me to feel interested in a lot of conversations I have, or in going out, or in socializing, or in most things that are expected of me. I do still feel like I have the ability to empathize, but in general I just feel normally distant and in the last few years I've had an especially hard time wanting to empathize. I feel better and safer by not bothering.
I get this. I have very high cognitive empathy but very low affective empathy. I only care about and feel for people I love deeply. I think there are 5 people and 1 cat that I truly love and have empathy for.
I'm still friendly and nice to people. I'm not mean. But I just don't care, and nor do I expect myself to. And nor do I allow anyone else to expect me to. My life, my feelings.
@@ladybaabaa3294 i felt like i had high cognitive and affective empathy. if anything i think i overempathasized, which made me really sensitive and insecure, which i chose to hide, and which apparently is a type of autism. i felt like my lack of understanding of some things that were normal is what causes me to overanalyze what's going on, but I cared deeply about how others felt and i could cry when they cried, and I felt guilt if I did something wrong, and I tended to be very sensitive to if others were angry, or upset, or tense, or unhappy, or sad.
i think it's normal for everyone to not care about something and that people just have different ways of expressing how. i tended to not want to waste time caring about anything that wasn't something real for me, in my own life, since it's not worth wasting time and energy caring about all of the problems in the world when it's not realistic to do so.
I can relate.
I needed this. Thank you. I’m struggling severely with lockdown depression, loss of hope, and meaningless feelings.
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Hey how are you doing? I hope you are doing better ❤️
This really opened pandora's box. It's like i'm getting to know myself from someone else's perspective as if they're trying to get to know me, and it works... 🤔 Thanks, Doc 🙏
The war , the crisis , the layoffs the pandemic , so many things to deal with -eventually the burnout , depression and complete apathy and disinterest to life
Thank you for sharing this. I have been struggling with apathy during the pandemic. I'm glad to have some advice on how to break out of it
You're definitely not alone there! While everything was locked down last year for months, I changed from going out somewhere most days (and feeling sluggish and blah if I didn't), to never going out except to the supermarket.
Now, and for a long time since things opened up again, I go out a few times a week, but mostly I stay home, sleep ridiculously late, and feel relief when I don't have anything planned. It's...weird.
Wow, another video I didn’t know that I needed. Explains why Ive had such a hard time studying for boards 😑... mehh. (Excellent as always Dr. Marks!)
Thanks a lot Valerie!
@@DrTraceyMarks Will you please follow up with apathy in the workplace? Businesses spend money on "Employee Engagement" programs, yet ignore the daily stress of working in a toxic environment such as being bullied by a co-worker?
@@ellebee3998 ooh good subject 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Wow this is a very powerful video! My problem with building a "good flow state" is choosing goals that are too challenging and not toning them down so they are more manageable. I always push my limits and sometimes do this too much. A good area for me to grow. Great video thank you!
You're welcome Justin. I think aiming too high is pretty typical of ambitious people who are used to achieving. It's good you recognize that in yourself. All the best to you and your accomplishments. Also thanks for joining UA-cam mental health awareness/education space. 🙂
@@DrTraceyMarks Your videos have been a big inspiration to me! Thank you. I recently started my UA-cam channel to have a place to reach more people with my research. It is amazing what you have accomplished and how many people you have helped. If I can reach even a small percentage of people but help them in some way it would be so rewarding. And certainly be part of my flow:)
Empathy is the act of being kind..it's a divine start in which I plan my day Using my infinite heart space. Your mind is a computer memory and your heart is a infinite computer processor. Control your spiritual abundance by being actively kind. Loving you is always ❤ 💓 💖 💗 every is significant for growth
To me life is currently the vibe/ feeling of making the bed before you take a nap and then the entire time you take a nap the phone rings then hangs up when you answer it and you're doing a sleep study that is volunteer only and done by a cafeteria chef
I needed this video so much. I know I'm not apathetic by nature, but I am not resilient enough when things don't go the way I planned. Thank you so much!!
Thanks for this, Dr. Marks! This way of framing apathy is extremely interesting and potentially going to be a very important tool for me. Over the past three years I have gone through sudden abandonment by a deeply loved romantic partner, long term unemployment, homelessness, and social isolation leading me to near complete withdrawal from society. I made a big investment in myself last year to learn a new profession so I could return to the workforce and a meaningful life, but to my astonishment I found myself feeling utterly unmotivated to put in the work. I suffer from severe ADHD and depression with a lot of executive dysfunction and dissociation, but those had never stopped me before. It was (and is) very distressing, yet that distress wasn't coalescing into a drive to do anything about it, despite the fact that I had set myself a challenge and defined set of goals with a realistic path toward accomplishing them. Again and again I find myself slipping back into merely existing in anguish, yet feeling no desire to move away from that and toward happiness. I am not giving up though, and I intend to extract whatever insight from this model of apathetic behaviour I can.
I'm with you and went through somewhat similar things throughout the past 3 years. I hope we both make it. Keep it up.
Going through a lot of the same things! Dumped unexpectedly, trying to make a career change, bad ADHD and depression with tons of executive functioning issues. COVID added a ton of stress too but we’re getting through to the other side.
Keep up the good work and know that you aren’t alone in your struggles! We got this!
@@lv9265 Thank you for the solidarity!
@@jalenbankston9182 Thank you! I hope things get better for all of us. The start of COVID was such a strange time. Everyone's world was falling apart but my world was already at a point where it couldn't get any worse. (I'd just found out in Feb that my ex had a child with their new partner in 2019 a year after ending things with me - we'd planned to start a family in 2020). Covid restrictions had virtually no impact on my cloistered life. In my perverse, broken frame of reality though it was like: 'Oh, another thing I am excluded from.'
Oh Maxwell what a tough road you’ve had. But keep pressing forward and don’t give up. That’s amazing that you learned a new profession. That’s huge. You just have to get some more momentum to breakthrough your current state. But that wind for your sails will come.
Steps on how to remove apathy:
Hangout with good friends even if you don't want to
Do things that you used to love
Taking a music or art therapy class
Try to exercise everyday
My life right now can be summed in 3 words (Apathy, Misanthropy, Melancholy)
I have Major Depressive disorder, Generalized anxiety disorder and Obsessive compulsive disorder. I got the holly trinity of mental health issues
Honest reply me to 👍
Ocd is technically an anxiety disorder so 2 but still enough😂 im the exact same
@@Tofuu1311 are you seeing a mental health professional ?
@@nandoxus unfortunately no at the moment theyre expensive here. What about u?
@@Tofuu1311 same lmao 🤣
I found my flow state in landscaping but anything outside of that I'm completely apathetic. Thank you for this video because I was looking for a word to describe my state of mind to my therapist and video broke it down perfectly.
I'm 100% disabled from VA PTSD. Your videos in combination with my VA management helps a lot. Thank you for your help.
Thank you Dr. Marks for a superb guide on how-to overcome apathy. Your concise plain-language selfcare micro-tutorial will enable me to _do_ the work of aiming toward my "greatest conceivable good" per Dr. Jordan Peterson. You have changed my dismay of being trapped in the "flatland" of apathy to the optimism of "can-do." What a relief!
I am anemic and read that apathy can be a symptom. From the way you explained it and what I've found out online it sounds like exactly what I feel most times
This is what I needed all my life! Thanks Dr, you’re the best 💕
You’re welcome Cristina!
I am reading the book "Flow" at the moment, it is really interesting!
Also congrats for finding out how to pronounce his name, a lot of UA-camr just give up.
This video came at the perfect time. I know someone who is apathetic and I think I'll send this video to them. Thank you.
I've been feeling more and more like this as I'm getting older. I know I should do certain things that are important like housework, but I just don't care. I see the mess and don't see the point. I know I should interact with ppl more but I don't care. This is so worrisome. I've been in and out of therapy for over 20 yrs. I don't know what will help.
I am a Deep Thinker too (I've just took the assessment).
And indeed those activities fit me well. Especially, drawing, painting or colouring.
Thanks for this video.
Dr. Marks is the best suggestion I’ve ever gotten from UA-cam. Thank you for using your platform for good. There’s so much I take away with every video.
I never realized there was a word for this.. when I was 16, I was suicidal in a hospital. My mom decided to let my fly to another state to visit my best friend who moved away. I was so empty in general, that when I knew I was going to see her, I suddenly felt happiness. And I had a near breakdown and cried immensely just because I felt an emotion. I felt happiness, let alone I felt anything at all for once, in a year. I couldn't really handle it because it had been so long.
This is really helpful, thank you so much. I'm a deep thinker too, and it's REALLY hard for me to get into a flow state as I have a large family and they don't care about my flow state! Being an introvert, this makes sense too, they seem connected.
Ankhs and Ankhs of Life to you Dr.Tracey marks.
May you receive more abundance from the universe 💜
That so right. I just don't care about anything. It's hard to move forward. Thank you. So important this topic.
I really, really appreciate 🙏you for these free videos. As a recovering alcoholic you are a godsend.
Oh my god, why did I not know about your channel before. I love the tone you use to describe the things.
Good presentation! I instantly realized my flow. I have to create. Writing, editing, posting visuals. Even when believing a blog post or story is not going to draw a readership, I still get an enormous feeling of satisfaction from the long, precise working of telling the story.
This has recently manifested in my being. It started with prolonged mild depression. You lose every concern. I even stopped eating. I think about what i want to eat, and the brain just tells my body that i ate. only eat when my body fails.. don't enjoy it, just do it... and i do not care.
I still remember being normal, but don't care about that. At least there is still work to force me to some normal action.
I throw away the things i made and loved. Still don't care. I can not care about anything any more.
It is going to suck working through this phase of life. You know no one can help you, and you can't help yourself... and you dont care. One could almost understand suicide, but why bother..? Even that dosent interest me.
It is terrifying.
Wow snap out of that feeling! Go docs urgent ! ❤️
I was exactly looking for a tool to determine your "flow zone", but I call it synergy. I had the fortune to have been in this state of flow/synergy in my 2 previous careers, one for 10 yrs and another for 8 years... sadly after the pandemic I have not been able to create that again so I've been in a state of apathy for over 2 years, plus it didn't help that I was suffering from hypothyroidism, though I did not know, the symptoms are similar to depression, I'm already on meds and stable on this end finally. I've been doing introspection during these 2+ yrs and one of the things I've concluded is that I need to know exactly what activities will tie in perfect synergy to my natural talents/gifts will fuel that state of flow/synergy in order to pursue that again... One activity I did not hear mentioned was serving/volunteering, going external is powerful, I dare say more so than many of the other activities listed, but I guess this might just be my preference. All those years living in flow/synergy I felt so blessed to have found my "perfect" fit in a career, loving my job everyday, etc... I think it was like being on dopamine and now I'm living through withdrawal... Knowing how good flow/synergy is, it's a double edge sword, a blessing and a curse, now I can't see/make myself do anything else but that which gets me to flow/synergy... And I rather wait for that than take on something that will get me to a deeper depression/apathy, the search and wait are excruciating, but I hope and pray it'll be worth it in the end 🙏🏻🤞🏻💪🏻... Or maybe not and I'll have to find other ways to cope not finding flow, hate to even think that may be a possibility for this phase in my life... I'm going to check out that website, thank you for sharing this video Dr. R God bless you!!! 🙏🏻❤️
I’ve felt apathy for 2 years now. It comes alongside feeling depressed, anxious, hopeless and emotionally numb/dissociated.
For example, traveling and being outdoors was one of my greatest joy in life. I was also very motivated to do photography as well as having a career in healthcare.
I first stated feeling apathy towards my career but now, even a trip doesn’t get me excited. I have other favors as well, such as a chronic breathing tension issue but yeah. I’ve been seeing a therapist for months now. She’s amazing but I still feel stuck
Dr. Marks I really appreciate how you highlight and disseminate more recognizable mental health syptoms/ disorders as well as the more common place issues like apathy that can adversely affect the quality of life.
AND for discussing more holistic methods of treating certain disorders. Thanks Dr. Marks 👍🏾🙏🏾💯
This short speech, was beautiful, keep it up whatever you have been blessed with. Apathy is the worst thing. I am apathetic at the moment, sorry I'm English. But your words strike a cord. 🙏👌🎶
i honestly need more of this apathy thing with school. i think it'll help me live easier
This was so insightful! I came from a very controlling parent and a passive aggressive controlling spouse. You gave me so much insight. I grew up with fear worry and anxiety. But now I have tools to work with. You gave me hope! Thanks 🙏🏻
Your videos are the best. Thank you so much!!!
This helped me alot. I have had underlying depression, anxiety disorder, trauma, with many episodes of major depression and being on meds for 8 years helped in some areas but for quite awhile I feel numb and apathetic. I tried weaning down a bit on my meds but after a few days I am down and anxious again so then I had to up the dose a little to see if it helps. I haven't been sleeping the greatest either. This was helpful in understanding what is going on. My psychiatrist never explains anything to me. It's just a 30 minutes phone appt about what I am thinking or feeling and then I get the same response that i will have it all my life and a depressed mind focuses on the negative. We don't have good mental health resources here.
Just existing and being apathic isn't so bad. It's a hell of a lot better than dealing with depression or anxiety.
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She is a amazing doctor ,bless her
Wow...this made me think of apathy in a totally new perspective. The beauty is the flow/apathy chart is something I've already seen. Thank you!
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you deserve a talk show❤️
at 2:35 she knocked that pronunciation out of the park. guess doctors are good at that from all the terms they have to memorize in their schooling.
Came at the perfect time! I can't express my gratitude enough.
You are so thoughtful in the way that you teach and explain various sinarios and mentalities. It's so easy to tell how much hard work is put into each video that you make. Thank you for your dedication and compassion towards your profession
What I'm taking away from this is that cultivating skills is the key, whether those be social, emotional, vocational etc. Where we want to live is on the right side of that diagram rather than the left or middle. Apathy is low-challenge and low-skill because it is a maladaptive coping strategy of avoiding both. I've been keeping this in mind the last few days, monitoring my own behaviour and actively trying to eliminate things from my life that enable or exacerbate avoidance and don't contribute to acquisition of skills I need to overcome my challenges.
I thought that I was becoming a sociopath, but I am not! It's the antidepressants 😳 I haven't been able to cry for years!
Same I care about nothing
@@patricianoll1229 I have been on antidepressants for years! I am falling in love for the first time in years to, so I guess I am going to be okay 😊👌
Tragic. Or sexuality is removed. I felt like a enuch- desexed.
Never again.
I quit antidepressants (for my depression and anxiety) years ago, as they didn't make the deeper problems go away. Now just I try to notice my bad behaviours and tweak them accordingly. And it's ok to have cry sessions as long as your boss doesn't see it.
I feel like that and am not on any anti depressants. Do you think those might help in my situation?
I think this is what happend to me. A few years ago i was a pretty happy and go lucky child, i learned some really bad things i wish i wouldnt have, and then something really bad happend to someone close to me, (things i wont get deep into but were very traumatic and also heart breaking for me to hear and see) all of this in just 3 months. That was eighth grade, ever since then, i havent felt the same. I lay down feeling super incomplete and feeling as if i have failed someone or something, i feel as if i have missed opportunities and it makes me sad. I also dont feel the same joy i felt doing things i loved, or really any joy at all for that matter. I havent cared much about anything or anyone except for a handful of people. Im in 12th grade now, and i recently got a job. I have started to feel a bit happier and i think its helping me out, i just wanted to put this out there
I definitely struggle with this. I never knew what this term exactly was called but I knew how I felt and this matches up perfectly. I always just think what’s the point of any of this? Stuff that used to be interesting and fun just doesn’t hit the same anymore. I feel like my life’s just on autopilot and I just repeat the same cycle day in and day out. I feel like I just don’t have the energy to care about anything anymore, even just showing emotion sometimes. I’m a Christian and I’ve been praying lots and I’m hoping to get out of this slump because I always just feel like there’s gotta be more to life than this. I really just wish I could be a kid again, when everything was cool and interesting and I actually looked forward to living life
I have dealt with pretty bad bipolar disorder my whole life. I am on antipsychotic drugs that I believe really messes with my motivation. I was becoming more driven after my bipolar started to get better and then I got diagnosed with lupus. I dealt with chronic pain almost every day for a year. I worked so hard to treat it and cope with it as best I could. A year and a half later I got a bad case of EBV and learned my liver function is rapidly declining and my heart isn’t beat properly. On top of that I’ve been dealing with an eating disorder for 7 years. What’s crazy about it is My life I almost perfect outside of the problems I have with my body. I have always been admired for being kind and attractive. I have so much potential to do good in the world but I’m loosing all my care to get better and I dont know why. My motivation and carelessness is getting so bad that I am binge eating every night and am alone every day just watching the same tv shows over and over. My feelings of self hatred intensify every day.
Anxiety has bought soooo much of this. Specially during that healing process
This! This is the feeling that I was having trouble describing
This channel is incredibly valuable. I am so grateful that it is available on UA-cam. Thank you Dr. Marks!
I needed to see this today. I've been feeling this way for a while. Thank you.
"Zone of contentment" very good .
Helu
I wonder 🤔
This video has such a capitalistic undertone to it. If youre in a state of flow you can maximize productivity for massa
I’m losing motivation every thing is the same thing. I’m emotionaly detached because I have not had good luck with people.
I'm the same. It feels as though I've had more than my fair share of really unpleasant people over the past few years (being victimised at work and bullying neighbours). It's got to the point where I'm almost done with people. I'm keeping myself to myself at the moment. But I'm still hopeful. I have a loyal friend in London who I see every couple of months and my present neighbour is really friendly and we've been out for drinks a couple of times. Things like that keep me hopeful that there are good people out there in amongst all the narcissists etc. Good luck for the future. I hope you find some really good people you can call friends.
Thank you Dr. Tracey, you always appear in the right moment for me to understand some things
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Hello
My favorite Doctor ❤️✨
SO GRATEFUL FOR THIS WOMAN ‼️❤️
Dr. Marks, thank you for these informative videos. I am a graduate student who is in the last year (internship) for mental health counseling. As an LPC-intern, these videos add to my toolbox and knowledge. I have worked in this field for almost 20 years, in various capacities. I look forward to your future videos and am hopeful that you will venture into webinars and in-person events. My husband is from Ga, so I am sure we will relocate to that area later in life. I am also a deep thinker and find it imperative that I have time alone to think. Thanks, again for the time you put into sharing.