How should men sit? Let me know in the comments! www.realmenrealstyle.com/open-closed-legs-men-sit/ - Click here to read the article - 5 Sitting Positions And The Message They Send Video Summary: 0:58 - Knees Together 1:55 - Knees Spread 3:37 - Leg-Over-Leg Position 4:17 - Figure-Four-Leg-Lock Position 5:12 - Ankle-Lock Position facebook.com/groups/rmrscommunity/ - Click HERE To Join our online Facebook Community
Real Men Real Style I found this kind of interesting, for me though I have a bad knee so normally I just sit whichever way doesn't hurt at the moment. it probably doesn't send the best message always moving my leg.
Real Men Real Style I sit at the military seated position of attention, sometimes I may put my arms on the armrests of a chair or something. How is this looked at and what signals am I giving off?
Men should sit however they want, but you won't find me sitting in the "leg-over-leg" position; it's just too uncomfortable. I mostly sit with knees spread and in the wrestling move, which sounded like pretty much what you do. I have noticed myself sitting with crossed ankles occassionally and your analysis as to why feels spot on, as it's usually been in situations with some anxiety or cautiousness. Thanks for the video. A few more body language videos wouldn't be nice (edit: of course I mean *would* be nice :). I've read on the topic before, but it's nice to be reminded of once in a while and you explain it in a clear, concise way. The whole concept of "controlling the message" is fantastic and your earlier videos where you've discussed this concept has also been great.
Real Men Real Style Love the body language vids! You should definietly continue making them because people forget the importance of body language and it is key when you are trying to send a message or make an impression.
I like the legs crossed up on the desk, reclined with my hands clasped behind my head position. It usually results in the interviewer telling me to get my feet off their desk and get out of his/her office. I think it shows dominance though...
*I hate UA-cam!!!!! STOP DELETING COMMENTS LIKE ITS HATE SPEECH WHEN THEY'RE JUST JOKES!!!!!!!!!* All I wrote was trying to write was "Like taking a 'dump' (I used *S* with three poop emojis 💩💩💩) like some dirty ( and here I mentioned a certain nonape relative with a tail🐒)" *HOW IS THAT OFFENSIVE?????*
I actually think that the leg over leg position is a comfortable one, and in my personal experience I feel comfortable, secure, relaxed and open to listening and conversing. Also the spread knee is a position that establishes dominance, power, security. So, I would say those two are my go to sitting positions
It's seen as unnecessary self inflicted pain but if you're comfortable sitting like this just explain and they'll understand, if they don't then they are not friends
@@alessiom3859 I'm insensitive to some pain. Crossing my legs as a male doesn't bother me. I noticed certain areas of my body feel less pain, compared to others where it feels like Hell, like chest and back pain are terrible, but losing my toenail? That happened to me once and didn't feel much pain.
@@GnosticMindTrain well, if you have to travel you instantly sit normally, but if crossing legs feels more comfortable no one is going to say anything, unless, they're that type of people to criticize strangers even for how they sit
Leg over leg is the most gentleman-like in my opinion. It shows confidence, it is elegant - a since this is not a "natural" posture, I believe it is one of those things that shows you care about your position and your attitude. It also looks really good with a suit.
I find leg over leg very comfortable. I had a high level interview three days ago and went with the leg over leg position mid way though, I felt a lot more open and confident. I was offered the job.
I thought I was the only who always felt that way, when someone throw me some very difficult or personal question I tend to cross my legs or at the very least cross my arms
I used ankle-lock commonly in school, but that´s because I was sitting on a uncomfortable plywood chair every day and most of the class listening to teachers. I better bring pillow to sit on and do some squats on workout days, if that helps. Great video by the way. I think it´s good to be consciuos about sitting positions and try them whether it be serious or relaxed environment. Try different positions and have fun doing so.
I personally prefer the leg-over-leg position, especially in more serious/adult conversation, considering I'm a teenager. With people my age I tend to spread but with adults I tend to cross. I find it more elegant and sometimes more comfortable. Maybe is because I've always seen my dad sitting like that and I've grown up to imitate him, but normally the educated, middle and higher class British people, like my dad, tend to sit like that. I guess the important thing is to find yourself comfortable
The highest status people in Europe sit leg over leg position. When I see a sharp old man sitting leg over leg I know he is high status, dominant and that he is the boss of his group.
I actually started sitting leg over leg cross legged when I was 7 and just watched the Godfather. I wanted to emulate them and forced myself to get used to it. Many years later and I still think its the most classy way to sit and havent had problems communicating with anybody. But then again I smile a lot so maybe that balances out the apparent 'closed off' edness of sitting crossed leg haha
That sucks 😂 Nearly every politician sits this way as well as people in C-suite/board positions. It’s now a body language standard amongst powerful people.
TV represents the western world the most and leg over leg is a symbol of business and high-ranking/respectable characters in society, personally I mostly sit with my knees together or spread apart but I wish I had sat with class naturally.
I disagree on the leg over leg. If u look at at powerful figure heads (presidents, pm's, military leaders, and CEO), the leg over leg is one of the most common leg position - especially when they are being interviewed. It shows a sign of confidence and power, making them seem in control of the conversation.
Somewhere in the video he mentioned “removed from the situation, protecting yourself”. Well the people in power are usually removed and protecting themselves do ward off offensive verbal attacks from the interviewer. Sitting to reason/negotiate is not the same as sitting to be interviewed/interrogate.
I've been studying body language seriously for about 5 years (give or take) Its basically a whole new world once you start to understand. Please, keep them coming. Its my favorite topic in life. Keep up the great work, A-man.
A lot of what you said seems very correct. As a kid, I watched my dad in a meeting once and he sat in the leg over leg position. I then copied him and he corrected me. He told me this was for grown ups and told me that the figure four leg lock would be proper. He owned his own construction company and always dressed to the nines. I thought the leg over position sent a messaged of someone very relaxed but could also be seen as somewhat feminine by some.
Fantastic video Antonio. I've been thinking of this topic recently, and I'm glad that you brought it up. I find figure four to be the most uncomfortable because the way I have to shift my hips. One that I often do unconsciously is the ankle lock position, but I notice that I do this when I am in high focused situations, such as listening to someone that is fascinating, or taking any form of test.
TableTurn well thats wrong, a job interview or a business meeting are ussually verry short, you have a verry short window of time to proof yourself. And so things like body language style and image will be looked and judged at. those things are also verry well researcht, and are still being researcht. Second Steve jobs was there to help build apple from the ground, so the guy never really needed to look at things like style. So bad example
Happy weekend team Antonio! Two things.. 1. I loved that pocket square. Did you get it at bows and ties? 2. Body language videos are an excellent idea. I'd like to see you do one on "what to do with your hands." I often have to consciously remind myself that putting my hands into my pockets when speaking to people to in public may project an image of timidness or self consciousness and honestly for me it just makes me feel like I look less aloof. I also cross my arms a lot but again that comes across as "closing myself off." Would love to hear your take on it.
Pretty interesting! Do make more body language videos. It's just like with crossing your arms, but even more unconscious as feet are farther away from the brain.
I've been searching about of its ok to sit l sit cross-legged as a guy, even if one finds it confortable like me, and saw a bit of this video. I agree with you, this is pretty silly
It’s strategic. Concerning yourself with leg positions can be indicative of a next level in subconscious conversation. Same way body position during handshakes matter. Or moments of silence, word count when conversing, etc.
In an interview I always start with the straight legged position showing I am ready to talk/negotiate and I end with the figure four position because it signals dominance and security messaging the interviewer that you are ready to work and it'll be a mistake to let you walk away.
Depemds on cultural context. My girlfriend hates this position, to her it shows low IQ and self-conscious problems. But overall here in Northern Europe it is not considered a dominance but rather hillbilly position
If you don't spread your leg you get the soyboy lower parts syndrome, high pitch voice, unexplainable pain down there, unability to open up with people properly especially if you're shy, and of course, it may attract politically fixated girls, which in 52% of the cases ends very badly for your reputation, money, and all of this after you did all the struggle
Leg over gives me more comfort when being in a conversation. Positioning the chair slight sideways, cross the legs over, using hand gestures when explaining - it's just great.
I only sit wide spread & figure 4. Never sat the other ways & I'm a very confident Alpha male that likes & shows dominance. Soo I think your absolutely correct on this Antonio!! Really liking the vids...
Leg over leg is also known as the European sitting position because they are taught manners and etiquette, and this is the way a gentleman ready to have an adult conversation would sit. Hand on the lap as at rest. I didn’t know this before as I just sat this way because it comfortable, but it definitely gets you weird looks but at the same time respect as people can tell you are sure of yourself sitting that position.
I generally keep my knees shoulder width apart. Feet flat on the ground or resting on the outside of both heels if there's space. Seems like a good balance.
In the Army we are taught heels together legs spread about 10 inches, seated all the way back in the chair, hands on your knees. It’s a Very strong stature and trains you to be more confident.
Well in Europe the "European leg cross position" is very common, you practically can not walk into a room without seeing at least 2 persons sitting with their legs crossed like that. So in Europe we don't really mind this position at all, in some places it's not even classed as being "closed for business" but the other way around, it shows that you are interested and listening, and you are relaxed in the conversation. If however you were to sit with your legs open and your back tilted forwards like in north America it can give of the signal that you are stressed and out of patience. Great vid btw!
Growing up in the 70s and 80s the leg over leg was considered feminine. However, that is how I always sit now if I'm to cross my legs. I am confident in my masculinity so how I cross my legs or what color shirt I wear does not make me feel feminine. Leg over leg I actually think looks more elegant. How you hold your arms and hands makes a difference as well.
Since I started watching your videos my girlfriend noticed the changes and told me I have been showing signs of maturity. Don't tell her I'm your subscribers lol
Just read an article that says the complete opposite of what you said, which was also based on "studies". Sitting Position #1: Knees Straight Key Traits: Intelligent, Rational Thinkers, Punctual, Smart Workers, Cleanliness Lover, Honest but Reserved. Sitting Position #2: Knees Apart Key Traits: Self-centered, Arrogant, Judgmental, Short attention span, and quick to get bored. Sitting Position #3: Crossed Legs Key Traits: Artistic, Creative, Imaginative, Dreamer, Defensive or closed-off. Sitting Position #4: Ankle-Crossed Key Traits: Elegant, Refined, Down-to-earth, Confident, Regal, Ambitious, Defensive Sitting Position #5: Figure Four Leg Lock Key Traits: Confident, Dominating, Youthful, Secure, Content, Argumentative, Competitive
It's my nature to sit leg over leg and I disagree with the analysis. For me it's formal seating position but I dont regard it as closed off. I see it as a position of physical comfort as well as a position of, I'm comfortable with who I am as a person.
I come from Germany and here the Leg-over-Leg position is very common and is by far not seen in the same way as apparently in America. Even at business meetings it is allowed to sit like this. This is not seen here as a defensive position or retreat. Especially since the position - for me - is very comfortable. If I sit in an armchair and drink my whisky or sit in a café then I can sit like that. Especially when sitting at a table, you should never sit in the Four Leg Lock position because the knee is much too high. And the knee should never be higher than the table top. Privately I can still sit like this, but in the business area it is a No Go.
I usually sit with a Figure 4 cross because its comfy and I can put my laptop on it; otherwise I'll have legs fully extended and my ankles crossed, because its comfy . . .
leg over leg is pretty common in Europe and is considered not defensive. more like i'm paying attention and taking my time listening to you or showing interest. however, spread knees comes over as quite rude and primitive and aggressive in Europe, no elegance.
Yes, but part of the reason for the "wider leg crosses" is shifting weight off the normal bottom and get some relief and also the hip muscles get to open/ stretch a bit. Anyone who has tried a butterfly stretch in yoga or other leg stretch exercises will tell you how much that helps relieve stress from the legs/ body. So at times the body might be trying to do some of that.
I love how this video teaches about not just being manly and powerful as a man but being respectful, gentleman and aware about others around you Take care 💙😃
Real Men Real Style maybe some body positions that should be done while having conversations with someone and also how to understand the signals the body language sent by your listener..
I have a degree that covers body language and interpreting the poise of the body... you're spot on! I'm a figure-four leg crosser; although, I can barely walk after sitting long with my ankle up on my knee. Great video!
Hey Antonio, great video as always. I have a quick question though! Could you make a video on hairstyles (classic and modern) that one could wear together with a fedora or pork pie style hat? I recently got myself a Stetson but my hair is quite boring when its not styled so i don't really know what to do. Cheers
I think the position you seat depends mostly on how confortable you feel sitting in that position. Actually when reading body language you should consider the comfort (the baseline). And to confirm point number 3 I'm european and I find sitting crossed leg the most confortable way to seat.
Sitting positions, for me it always comes down to following. 1. Situation. As mentioned in the video, we humans, as a form of social norm, tend to minimize our surrounding space. 2. Culture. Different places had different cultures therefore several body languages will always have different meanings. And as gentlemen, we need to respect and conform to their culture.
Yes u can. Im 8in and i can do it very combfortably. U just gotta grab all ur junk in a handfull and put it on top of ur thighs. Completely out of the way
I prefer to sit upside down with my head near the floor and my legs over the back of the chair. It commands respect and attention without speaking any words.
Ankles crossed with arms over head/fingers locked behind head I think shows the exact opposite of nervous. I think we should consider arm position with legs. Great video
Crossed legs, leg over leg, and rest your arms on the back railing of the bench is always the best for me. Shows confidence, and how much of a beast you are.
Great video! Ankle over ankle is the dead man position; when a person is killed while standing, the fall results in the ankle crossed position. The problem with doing it deliberately or from habit is with the subconscious mind. It is a body language signal to that part of the mind that you are not mentally present in the moment. You are not alive in the moment. Professional fighters sometimes fall with crossed ankles. Law enforcement is usually aware of the crossed ankles effect. Yes, do body language videos. Apparently, I knew almost nothing about clothing and style! Thank you, Sir. Charles Alan Clark
I just can't sit in the 3: leg over leg position. I can't even sit with my legs straight ahead with knees touching. Natural (as everything should be) spreading is healthiest. Leg on leg position is bad for the hip joints.
So interesting, I've actually thought of this but had never heard or read anything about it. I sometimes find sitting with my legs open to be somewhat vulgar or loose, too informal but it's by far the most comfortable. I also have a habit of sitting with my feet out with my ankles crossed but it's certainly a comfort thing and I became conscious of this topic when I noticed I have a weird habit of sitting at a desk with my soles of my feet facing each other, almost as if my feet are resting on the outside of my ankles and wondered if that looks strange or weak to anywhere who noticed. I work in the health sector in the mental health field. I have clients who are either disabled or have severe mental illness and my body language is crucial in building trust and rapport, conversely when I liaise with other professionals, my boss's, co-ordinators, clients family members and stakeholders, my credibility is paramount to me being given and sustaining work and my body language and the way I am perceived is a major part of that. I'm always conscious of my tone of voice, facial expressions and mannerisms and largely, my sitting body language since all of our meetings are sitting down. This was a great topic, I also appreciated the reference to being an asshole in public and not taking up too much room in regards to the elderly or a pregnant woman.
How much more anxiety do you want to add to a persons life ? Now you have to be concerned with the way you sit and stress about if someone judges you over another thing ? No thank you... Your're not helping but hurting people with such videos. The right way to sit is the way you like to sit, period. Don't worry about it.
Excellent, Antonio; brief and to-the-point. One seating position you didn't cover is "straddling a chair", which used to be seen in old movies, especially Westerns. People have different opinions about it, and it does require the chair's design be suitable. About crossing legs: I've known people years removed from their old culture and Americanized in most respects to still show discomfort when the sole of the shoe is exposed. Also, in some situations sitting cross-legged may be thought arrogant, impolite, disrespectful, or inattentive. That may explain to some extent the results of the negotiation study you mentioned.
Body language videos are great. Figure four hurts my knees. I do the European. It puts the least amount of stress on my knee. It is casual for sure and i do not sit like that at work, meetings or interviews. John Wayne sits like that and so does Clint Eastwood. Im just saying.....
Antonio, Fascinating! My (uber-strict) mother and her parents, who raised me to hold the door open for a lady and be a gentleman, made it VERY clear that in their home, women (who always wore a skirt/dress) sat knees-together-ankles-crossed. Men, correction: GENTLEMEN, sit knees-crossed, and NEVER open their legs and point their crotch at people. It was considered rude/vulgar. Do you think this old-fashioned thinking may have some connection to the fact that they still do this in Europe?
Ankle to knee. that's how a man crosses his legs. I learned that from my father at a young age. He is from the days when men were men and not manginas.
I used to sit in the European leg cross during elementary, but during middle school I got really self-aware of myself and switched to the figure four leg lock. I felt a little feminine doing the leg over leg cross.
Yes. I notice this and though Antonio was another huckster then found out he was a Marine. This is an officer deploying his troops. Direct, clear, concise and authoritative. No doubt is conveyed. Realizing that I became much more open to his message.
One aspect about male sitting positions that I'm surprised you glossed over is the placement of our feet. You briefly touched base on it during the "ankle lock" position's dialogue, but the way in which we position our feet is another indicator of our overall level of comfort in a given situation. For instance, there's a term called "perching" that, as the name indicates, is related to when you tuck your feet more towards your center of mass when you're either in "knees together/spread" or "ankle lock" (there's also perching as in you squat down on the ground, generally with knees together and close to your chest). It's basically an unconscious decision that makes it harder for others to notice at a quick glance if you're giving in to the habit of anxiously bouncing your feet as a more discreet method to expressing discomfort or nervousness. Additionally, if we place our feet in a more forward position, we'll end up giving off that "aloof/non-committal" vibe you similarly warned about regarding being mindful of our space when using "knees spread" or "figure 4". There are limits into how far we can angle our feet for/backward, but said angle is fairly small and can easily be overshot without paying attention/practice. I do agree though that body language videos would be an appropriate addition to your catalogue - might I suggest an addendum/accompanying video to this one about overall posture/hand positions? You gave a small mention to hand placement during "figure 4" when describing the "leg clamp", but I'd be interested in hearing about acceptable variances in angle, both forward and back, for our upper bodies in most situations and generally-accepted practices for how to place our arms/hands.
Roby Quay culture, personality, mood, situation, time too. People who listen to this garbage must have an incredibly narrow mind. Stuff like this just programs people how to think
How should men sit? Let me know in the comments!
www.realmenrealstyle.com/open-closed-legs-men-sit/ - Click here to read the article - 5 Sitting Positions And The Message They Send
Video Summary:
0:58 - Knees Together
1:55 - Knees Spread
3:37 - Leg-Over-Leg Position
4:17 - Figure-Four-Leg-Lock Position
5:12 - Ankle-Lock Position
facebook.com/groups/rmrscommunity/ - Click HERE To Join our online Facebook Community
It depends where you are...
Real Men Real Style I found this kind of interesting, for me though I have a bad knee so normally I just sit whichever way doesn't hurt at the moment. it probably doesn't send the best message always moving my leg.
Real Men Real Style I sit at the military seated position of attention, sometimes I may put my arms on the armrests of a chair or something. How is this looked at and what signals am I giving off?
Men should sit however they want, but you won't find me sitting in the "leg-over-leg" position; it's just too uncomfortable. I mostly sit with knees spread and in the wrestling move, which sounded like pretty much what you do. I have noticed myself sitting with crossed ankles occassionally and your analysis as to why feels spot on, as it's usually been in situations with some anxiety or cautiousness.
Thanks for the video. A few more body language videos wouldn't be nice (edit: of course I mean *would* be nice :). I've read on the topic before, but it's nice to be reminded of once in a while and you explain it in a clear, concise way. The whole concept of "controlling the message" is fantastic and your earlier videos where you've discussed this concept has also been great.
Real Men Real Style Love the body language vids! You should definietly continue making them because people forget the importance of body language and it is key when you are trying to send a message or make an impression.
I like the legs crossed up on the desk, reclined with my hands clasped behind my head position. It usually results in the interviewer telling me to get my feet off their desk and get out of his/her office. I think it shows dominance though...
James A. LOL!! I like it.
lol
suggest polishing your shoes as you recount life story, also maybe check your nails from time to time, and sigh, i believe it's the way forward
I really gotta try that! People keep offering me jobs and then they boss me around...
Hahaha! Exactly!
I sit like L from Death Note: squatting on the chair to increase my levels of deduction.
@Ayush Sarnekar same
This is the best thing ever tbh
Same
Same
*I hate UA-cam!!!!! STOP DELETING COMMENTS LIKE ITS HATE SPEECH WHEN THEY'RE JUST JOKES!!!!!!!!!*
All I wrote was trying to write was "Like taking a 'dump' (I used *S* with three poop emojis 💩💩💩) like some dirty ( and here I mentioned a certain nonape relative with a tail🐒)"
*HOW IS THAT OFFENSIVE?????*
I believe you should do more videos of body language
We'll have more coming - watch out for it!
Real Men Real Style I can't wait.
yes...i need this
I actually think that the leg over leg position is a comfortable one, and in my personal experience I feel comfortable, secure, relaxed and open to listening and conversing. Also the spread knee is a position that establishes dominance, power, security. So, I would say those two are my go to sitting positions
@@tybuchanan2810 as they say, you are what you eat.
It's true
I agree with you, i sit like this at home alone sometimes. It comes naturally and feels good
Best way to sit is on the floor and have your legs on the chair.
Oh my gosh ohhhhhhhh thank you😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🙊
Sukh asana
😂
I sit with my legs crossed and my friend said to me once
“Are you a feminist?”
It's seen as unnecessary self inflicted pain but if you're comfortable sitting like this just explain and they'll understand, if they don't then they are not friends
@@alessiom3859 I'm insensitive to some pain. Crossing my legs as a male doesn't bother me. I noticed certain areas of my body feel less pain, compared to others where it feels like Hell, like chest and back pain are terrible, but losing my toenail? That happened to me once and didn't feel much pain.
@@GnosticMindTrain well, if you have to travel you instantly sit normally, but if crossing legs feels more comfortable no one is going to say anything, unless, they're that type of people to criticize strangers even for how they sit
Gnostic Mind Train are you tall? I’m 6’4 and I usually cross my legs cuz if I don’t imma take up all the space or the legs get uncomfortable.
I will cross my leg all times my teacher also said not to seat like this but he also sit like this
Leg over leg is the most gentleman-like in my opinion. It shows confidence, it is elegant - a since this is not a "natural" posture, I believe it is one of those things that shows you care about your position and your attitude. It also looks really good with a suit.
I find leg over leg very comfortable. I had a high level interview three days ago and went with the leg over leg position mid way though, I felt a lot more open and confident. I was offered the job.
Magoo - Interesting.
Vector and bitmap stuff
what the hell. no it is not for just gays what the hell is wrong with you??
weirdo /-/ yes it is
yep its very comfortable and relaxing
I thought I was the only who always felt that way, when someone throw me some very difficult or personal question I tend to cross my legs or at the very least cross my arms
I used ankle-lock commonly in school, but that´s because I was sitting on a uncomfortable plywood chair every day and most of the class listening to teachers. I better bring pillow to sit on and do some squats on workout days, if that helps. Great video by the way. I think it´s good to be consciuos about sitting positions and try them whether it be serious or relaxed environment. Try different positions and have fun doing so.
I personally prefer the leg-over-leg position, especially in more serious/adult conversation, considering I'm a teenager. With people my age I tend to spread but with adults I tend to cross. I find it more elegant and sometimes more comfortable. Maybe is because I've always seen my dad sitting like that and I've grown up to imitate him, but normally the educated, middle and higher class British people, like my dad, tend to sit like that. I guess the important thing is to find yourself comfortable
PGkTF Exactly, I tend to do the same. In Italy, where I live, this position is considered classy and used by smart people.
The highest status people in Europe sit leg over leg position. When I see a sharp old man sitting leg over leg I know he is high status, dominant and that he is the boss of his group.
That's strange. I live in the UK now from New York, America. British people seem more American than main land Europe.
@@jamesschuessler5592 you go to a different nation you find different customs, Europe is so vast and all to explore
Yep, I think leg over leg is seen as elegant.
The highest status people in Europe are all elegant fancy boys 🤺
What the fuck is wrong with you?
I actually started sitting leg over leg cross legged when I was 7 and just watched the Godfather. I wanted to emulate them and forced myself to get used to it. Many years later and I still think its the most classy way to sit and havent had problems communicating with anybody. But then again I smile a lot so maybe that balances out the apparent 'closed off' edness of sitting crossed leg haha
👍
i started at 4, DUH!!
There is something kind of gangster about sitting like that.
In my culture, leg-over-leg is viewed as reserved for women. I've only ever seen men on TV sit that way.
That sucks 😂
Nearly every politician sits this way as well as people in C-suite/board positions. It’s now a body language standard amongst powerful people.
I'm sorry that your culture is like that
TV represents the western world the most and leg over leg is a symbol of business and high-ranking/respectable characters in society, personally I mostly sit with my knees together or spread apart but I wish I had sat with class naturally.
@TheSublimeLifestyle so sitting like a woman is good because politicians and rich people do it? What a pathetic comment...
@Random-sk6hm You're sorry because in his culture men act like men and not weak feminine men? What a clown world we live in😂
Body language is incredibly important, definitely do more videos Antonio! Thanks.
Welcome!
I disagree on the leg over leg. If u look at at powerful figure heads (presidents, pm's, military leaders, and CEO), the leg over leg is one of the most common leg position - especially when they are being interviewed. It shows a sign of confidence and power, making them seem in control of the conversation.
Somewhere in the video he mentioned “removed from the situation, protecting yourself”. Well the people in power are usually removed and protecting themselves do ward off offensive verbal attacks from the interviewer. Sitting to reason/negotiate is not the same as sitting to be interviewed/interrogate.
I've been studying body language seriously for about 5 years (give or take)
Its basically a whole new world once you start to understand.
Please, keep them coming. Its my favorite topic in life.
Keep up the great work, A-man.
A lot of what you said seems very correct. As a kid, I watched my dad in a meeting once and he sat in the leg over leg position. I then copied him and he corrected me. He told me this was for grown ups and told me that the figure four leg lock would be proper. He owned his own construction company and always dressed to the nines. I thought the leg over position sent a messaged of someone very relaxed but could also be seen as somewhat feminine by some.
Fantastic video Antonio. I've been thinking of this topic recently, and I'm glad that you brought it up. I find figure four to be the most uncomfortable because the way I have to shift my hips. One that I often do unconsciously is the ankle lock position, but I notice that I do this when I am in high focused situations, such as listening to someone that is fascinating, or taking any form of test.
Sit however you bloody want
Of course. But we are wiser to be concious of what kind of signal we are sending, however it is we choose to sit.
Martyn - Exactly!
TableTurn well thats wrong, a job interview or a business meeting are ussually verry short, you have a verry short window of time to proof yourself. And so things like body language style and image will be looked and judged at. those things are also verry well researcht, and are still being researcht.
Second Steve jobs was there to help build apple from the ground, so the guy never really needed to look at things like style. So bad example
ഇവൻ എന്ത് പറയുന്നത്
@@moretinshop has the big gay
Next video: how should men sleep. Great video Antonio, thanks
Samer Henen Actually would be interesting
With eyes closed.
If you dont want to interfere with your NPT, just dont sleep on your belly.
Samer Henen xaxa I cry I cry 😂 😂 😂
Leg on leg- position.
Who also thinks of Michael Corleone?
Like!
Bob Edgar Jr right, that's what thought coz that's my comfortable position
Happy weekend team Antonio! Two things.. 1. I loved that pocket square. Did you get it at bows and ties? 2. Body language videos are an excellent idea. I'd like to see you do one on "what to do with your hands." I often have to consciously remind myself that putting my hands into my pockets when speaking to people to in public may project an image of timidness or self consciousness and honestly for me it just makes me feel like I look less aloof. I also cross my arms a lot but again that comes across as "closing myself off." Would love to hear your take on it.
I really like these body languages videos!
I really love his accent.
It sounds reliable and smart.
and of course super clear
pronunciation!!
Pretty interesting! Do make more body language videos. It's just like with crossing your arms, but even more unconscious as feet are farther away from the brain.
Sebastián - Noted. We'll have more coming.
that makes no sense, they ay be further from the brain but not from the spine...
Leg over leg position is really comfortable for me spread legs doesn't feel comfortable and looks very inappropriate.
I've never been able to do the "Leg-Over-Leg". 😁
It's always been very uncomfortable for me!
When you re concerned about your legs positions you got a problem
If someones leg is bent 270 degrees than normal then i think theyre the one that has a problem
I've been searching about of its ok to sit l sit cross-legged as a guy, even if one finds it confortable like me, and saw a bit of this video. I agree with you, this is pretty silly
It’s strategic. Concerning yourself with leg positions can be indicative of a next level in subconscious conversation.
Same way body position during handshakes matter. Or moments of silence, word count when conversing, etc.
In an interview I always start with the straight legged position showing I am ready to talk/negotiate and I end with the figure four position because it signals dominance and security messaging the interviewer that you are ready to work and it'll be a mistake to let you walk away.
Depemds on cultural context. My girlfriend hates this position, to her it shows low IQ and self-conscious problems. But overall here in Northern Europe it is not considered a dominance but rather hillbilly position
There's gonna be some manspreading memes in the comments...
For sure!
It's how I got here
Most of my characters are tomboys
If you don't spread your leg you get the soyboy lower parts syndrome, high pitch voice, unexplainable pain down there, unability to open up with people properly especially if you're shy, and of course, it may attract politically fixated girls, which in 52% of the cases ends very badly for your reputation, money, and all of this after you did all the struggle
Leg over gives me more comfort when being in a conversation. Positioning the chair slight sideways, cross the legs over, using hand gestures when explaining - it's just great.
I only sit wide spread & figure 4. Never sat the other ways & I'm a very confident Alpha male that likes & shows dominance. Soo I think your absolutely correct on this Antonio!! Really liking the vids...
Leg over leg is the most elegant way of seating
As a woman
For both gender I think
Leg over leg is also known as the European sitting position because they are taught manners and etiquette, and this is the way a gentleman ready to have an adult conversation would sit. Hand on the lap as at rest. I didn’t know this before as I just sat this way because it comfortable, but it definitely gets you weird looks but at the same time respect as people can tell you are sure of yourself sitting that position.
I generally keep my knees shoulder width apart. Feet flat on the ground or resting on the outside of both heels if there's space. Seems like a good balance.
In the Army we are taught heels together legs spread about 10 inches, seated all the way back in the chair, hands on your knees. It’s a Very strong stature and trains you to be more confident.
Well in Europe the "European leg cross position" is very common, you practically can not walk into a room without seeing at least 2 persons sitting with their legs crossed like that. So in Europe we don't really mind this position at all, in some places it's not even classed as being "closed for business" but the other way around, it shows that you are interested and listening, and you are relaxed in the conversation. If however you were to sit with your legs open and your back tilted forwards like in north America it can give of the signal that you are stressed and out of patience. Great vid btw!
Growing up in the 70s and 80s the leg over leg was considered feminine. However, that is how I always sit now if I'm to cross my legs. I am confident in my masculinity so how I cross my legs or what color shirt I wear does not make me feel feminine. Leg over leg I actually think looks more elegant. How you hold your arms and hands makes a difference as well.
Since I started watching your videos my girlfriend noticed the changes and told me I have been showing signs of maturity.
Don't tell her I'm your subscribers lol
Danmm 🤣😂😂😂😂😂
Just read an article that says the complete opposite of what you said, which was also based on "studies".
Sitting Position #1: Knees Straight
Key Traits: Intelligent, Rational Thinkers, Punctual, Smart Workers, Cleanliness Lover, Honest but Reserved.
Sitting Position #2: Knees Apart
Key Traits: Self-centered, Arrogant, Judgmental, Short attention span, and quick to get bored.
Sitting Position #3: Crossed Legs
Key Traits: Artistic, Creative, Imaginative, Dreamer, Defensive or closed-off.
Sitting Position #4: Ankle-Crossed
Key Traits: Elegant, Refined, Down-to-earth, Confident, Regal, Ambitious, Defensive
Sitting Position #5: Figure Four Leg Lock
Key Traits: Confident, Dominating, Youthful, Secure, Content, Argumentative, Competitive
It's my nature to sit leg over leg and I disagree with the analysis. For me it's formal seating position but I dont regard it as closed off. I see it as a position of physical comfort as well as a position of, I'm comfortable with who I am as a person.
Leg over leg is physically comfortable? That is ironic.
I come from Germany and here the Leg-over-Leg position is very common and is by far not seen in the same way as apparently in America. Even at business meetings it is allowed to sit like this. This is not seen here as a defensive position or retreat.
Especially since the position - for me - is very comfortable. If I sit in an armchair and drink my whisky or sit in a café then I can sit like that.
Especially when sitting at a table, you should never sit in the Four Leg Lock position because the knee is much too high. And the knee should never be higher than the table top.
Privately I can still sit like this, but in the business area it is a No Go.
I usually sit with a Figure 4 cross because its comfy and I can put my laptop on it; otherwise I'll have legs fully extended and my ankles crossed, because its comfy . . .
knees spread is the most comfortable sitting position for me.but something I use leg lock position.
leg over leg is pretty common in Europe and is considered not defensive. more like i'm paying attention and taking my time listening to you or showing interest. however, spread knees comes over as quite rude and primitive and aggressive in Europe, no elegance.
Yes, but part of the reason for the "wider leg crosses" is shifting weight off the normal bottom and get some relief and also the hip muscles get to open/ stretch a bit. Anyone who has tried a butterfly stretch in yoga or other leg stretch exercises will tell you how much that helps relieve stress from the legs/ body. So at times the body might be trying to do some of that.
This is such a dumb video. Im a man and i sit both in a knees together and leg over leg, and I don’t come off as weak or closed.
I love how this video teaches about not just being manly and powerful as a man but being respectful, gentleman and aware about others around you Take care 💙😃
Body language videos are always interesting.
Indeed!
More on body language pls
Noted! What topic on body language do you want to see here?
Real Men Real Style maybe some body positions that should be done while having conversations with someone and also how to understand the signals the body language sent by your listener..
Real Men Real Style maybe gesture particullarily hand movements while talking.
@X3mdain .. if she lets you look down her V-Line, go all in. Most important body language lesson ever.
Hi Antonio, what about standing positions? Could you please do a similar video on standing positions?
Your videos are awesome !! Like a PRO !i
Thanks for watching!
Sushant Gharal he is a pro!
I have a degree that covers body language and interpreting the poise of the body... you're spot on! I'm a figure-four leg crosser; although, I can barely walk after sitting long with my ankle up on my knee. Great video!
I guess you have to find out the persons baseline first then see how they start to sit when have a conversation
Hey Antonio, great video as always. I have a quick question though!
Could you make a video on hairstyles (classic and modern) that one could wear together with a fedora or pork pie style hat? I recently got myself a Stetson but my hair is quite boring when its not styled so i don't really know what to do.
Cheers
In the queue!
Thanks man, I appreciate it!
Men, your bro here. You can sit however you want if you feel comfortable because if you try to manage other people then it can hurt you
I just hover 2 feet off the ground instead of sitting.
I think the position you seat depends mostly on how confortable you feel sitting in that position. Actually when reading body language you should consider the comfort (the baseline).
And to confirm point number 3 I'm european and I find sitting crossed leg the most confortable way to seat.
Good point Nicholas
Will use the knee spread even more. I mostly sit with my leg crossed. Will lessen it in the future
Sounds like a plan.
Awesomeee plan indeeeddd 🤓👍🏾
Sir can you make a video on difference between 'Gentleman and Apha Male'
You missed seated in the fetal position.
Sitting positions, for me it always comes down to following.
1. Situation. As mentioned in the video, we humans, as a form of social norm, tend to minimize our surrounding space.
2. Culture. Different places had different cultures therefore several body languages will always have different meanings. And as gentlemen, we need to respect and conform to their culture.
ok where's the one where u just rest your ankle on your knee.? i have big nuts i cant cross my legs like a woman sorry.
cool
INDIGO SANTANA i can't do that longer than 5secs, my crossing let just straight up dead numb
Did you watch the whole video?
Yes u can. Im 8in and i can do it very combfortably. U just gotta grab all ur junk in a handfull and put it on top of ur thighs. Completely out of the way
#4
I prefer to sit upside down with my head near the floor and my legs over the back of the chair. It commands respect and attention without speaking any words.
Nobody gives a damn facts, men sit whatever way it’s comfortable
Ankles crossed with arms over head/fingers locked behind head I think shows the exact opposite of nervous. I think we should consider arm position with legs. Great video
Crossed legs, leg over leg, and rest your arms on the back railing of the bench is always the best for me. Shows confidence, and how much of a beast you are.
Another great video to continue learning how to be a gentleman that almost no one teaches! Keep the good work!
Im a simple man. I get a notification that antonio has uploaded a video and i click it
You rock! Interesting name as well.
The Last Rikudō same here mate!
Great video! Ankle over ankle is the dead man position; when a person is killed while standing, the fall results in the ankle crossed position. The problem with doing it deliberately or from habit is with the subconscious mind. It is a body language signal to that part of the mind that you are not mentally present in the moment. You are not alive in the moment.
Professional fighters sometimes fall with crossed ankles. Law enforcement is usually aware of the crossed ankles effect.
Yes, do body language videos.
Apparently, I knew almost nothing about clothing and style!
Thank you, Sir.
Charles Alan Clark
Yeah! Manspreading rules!
@@joshuagattellari4471 Why?
@@joshuagattellari4471 yea why?
@@joshuagattellari4471 lol
Is there a facepalm emoji?
Milk 🤦♀️🤦♂️ here
I just can't sit in the 3: leg over leg position. I can't even sit with my legs straight ahead with knees touching. Natural (as everything should be) spreading is healthiest. Leg on leg position is bad for the hip joints.
For me there is no difference, I just want to be comfort
I have never sat using the Figure-Four-Leg-Lock-Position but now I might experiment with it if the situation is right.
So, according to this video there's no good way for men to sit. Just stand up all day long.
So interesting, I've actually thought of this but had never heard or read anything about it. I sometimes find sitting with my legs open to be somewhat vulgar or loose, too informal but it's by far the most comfortable. I also have a habit of sitting with my feet out with my ankles crossed but it's certainly a comfort thing and I became conscious of this topic when I noticed I have a weird habit of sitting at a desk with my soles of my feet facing each other, almost as if my feet are resting on the outside of my ankles and wondered if that looks strange or weak to anywhere who noticed.
I work in the health sector in the mental health field. I have clients who are either disabled or have severe mental illness and my body language is crucial in building trust and rapport, conversely when I liaise with other professionals, my boss's, co-ordinators, clients family members and stakeholders, my credibility is paramount to me being given and sustaining work and my body language and the way I am perceived is a major part of that. I'm always conscious of my tone of voice, facial expressions and mannerisms and largely, my sitting body language since all of our meetings are sitting down.
This was a great topic, I also appreciated the reference to being an asshole in public and not taking up too much room in regards to the elderly or a pregnant woman.
How much more anxiety do you want to add to a persons life ? Now you have to be concerned with the way you sit and stress about if someone judges you over another thing ? No thank you...
Your're not helping but hurting people with such videos. The right way to sit is the way you like to sit, period. Don't worry about it.
Figure 4 is my go-to. It's most comfortable for me and I like it because I know not everyone can do it.
Does it really matter what kind of damn dominance and strength I show with my legs crossed and open? I call bs
I think it's pretty cool bringing in the psychology of body language Antonio.
Title should be “how men shouldn’t sit.”
Now you know how not to sit, REAL MAN
@@ibamuad but I still need to learn how TO sit! Still just a boy
Excellent, Antonio; brief and to-the-point. One seating position you didn't cover is "straddling a chair", which used to be seen in old movies, especially Westerns. People have different opinions about it, and it does require the chair's design be suitable. About crossing legs: I've known people years removed from their old culture and Americanized in most respects to still show discomfort when the sole of the shoe is exposed. Also, in some situations sitting cross-legged may be thought arrogant, impolite, disrespectful, or inattentive. That may explain to some extent the results of the negotiation study you mentioned.
Body language videos are great. Figure four hurts my knees. I do the European. It puts the least amount of stress on my knee. It is casual for sure and i do not sit like that at work, meetings or interviews. John Wayne sits like that and so does Clint Eastwood. Im just saying.....
Antonio, Fascinating!
My (uber-strict) mother and her parents, who raised me to hold the door open for a lady and be a gentleman, made it VERY clear that in their home, women (who always wore a skirt/dress) sat knees-together-ankles-crossed. Men, correction: GENTLEMEN, sit knees-crossed, and NEVER open their legs and point their crotch at people. It was considered rude/vulgar.
Do you think this old-fashioned thinking may have some connection to the fact that they still do this in Europe?
We need the room for we have something down ther.😂😂
I like the body language videos. Style isn't just the clothes, it's the way you carry yourself.
Ankle to knee. that's how a man crosses his legs. I learned that from my father at a young age. He is from the days when men were men and not manginas.
I agree with you
I also sit like that.
Bish wtf
Conspiracies by Hans 3 well I can sit comfortably like that
I do figure four leg lock
I used to sit in the European leg cross during elementary, but during middle school I got really self-aware of myself and switched to the figure four leg lock. I felt a little feminine doing the leg over leg cross.
With all do respect. If you obsess about how you should sit than you have far bigger issues than how you should sit.
Exactly. Dominance is all about the power you have, not about how openly you sit.
Leg over leg is just comfortable for some of us skinnier guys. I never feel "closed off" like this.
Your videos are good BUT you look more like a guy who's trying to sell something than giving tips about lifestyle etc etc
Yes. I notice this and though Antonio was another huckster then found out he was a Marine. This is an officer deploying his troops. Direct, clear, concise and authoritative. No doubt is conveyed. Realizing that I became much more open to his message.
One aspect about male sitting positions that I'm surprised you glossed over is the placement of our feet. You briefly touched base on it during the "ankle lock" position's dialogue, but the way in which we position our feet is another indicator of our overall level of comfort in a given situation.
For instance, there's a term called "perching" that, as the name indicates, is related to when you tuck your feet more towards your center of mass when you're either in "knees together/spread" or "ankle lock" (there's also perching as in you squat down on the ground, generally with knees together and close to your chest). It's basically an unconscious decision that makes it harder for others to notice at a quick glance if you're giving in to the habit of anxiously bouncing your feet as a more discreet method to expressing discomfort or nervousness. Additionally, if we place our feet in a more forward position, we'll end up giving off that "aloof/non-committal" vibe you similarly warned about regarding being mindful of our space when using "knees spread" or "figure 4". There are limits into how far we can angle our feet for/backward, but said angle is fairly small and can easily be overshot without paying attention/practice.
I do agree though that body language videos would be an appropriate addition to your catalogue - might I suggest an addendum/accompanying video to this one about overall posture/hand positions? You gave a small mention to hand placement during "figure 4" when describing the "leg clamp", but I'd be interested in hearing about acceptable variances in angle, both forward and back, for our upper bodies in most situations and generally-accepted practices for how to place our arms/hands.
Great video! Always good tips, thanks for sharing :-) Best regards, Stefan
Welcome!
"shows you're closed off" Thanks for helping me find my leg position. I will now sit with legs on top of each other.
Coments, writen 6 hours ago and video posted 3 minutes ago well done youtube
Joseph - We have an early video release in the Facebook group. :) facebook.com/groups/rmrscommunity/
These are region specific (as you already said). It is exactly like trying to interpret an other language based on your own
How should men sit? It depends on their culture, this video is too general.
Roby Quay culture, personality, mood, situation, time too. People who listen to this garbage must have an incredibly narrow mind. Stuff like this just programs people how to think
Stone [石のドラム] very true... Thx 4 knowing
He tells you in every video, hes tips are induvidual for some specific countries where your sign means different.
Figure-four leg-lock is the best. You can switch your legs from time to time so both are resting for few minutes
This is incredibly North American-centric and culturally dependent.
For guys like him: .......
U.S.A = The whole planet
Qq
Jordan Peterson uses leg over leg a lot. I've been feeling more confident and relaxed when using it.