There's also a class argument to be made: historically, poor people did not have the luxury of having one parent not work. Even these days, it's difficult to make ends meet without two parents working (which is not feminism's fault, but more the system we live in).
True i have a grandma that is disabled and had a hard time working because the world was more abellist back then than now, she was lucky to have my grandpa was a good man that made enough money to not go under because of capitalism. But them he got terminal cancer and died, my grandma was lucky to be old enough to have widow insurance but younger people don't get that because capitalism is a parasite
I was raised with the idea of "working woman" and "housewife" and both were used to insult women. personally I like to use both sayings for different lifestyles. there's nothing wrong with wanting to live either lifestyle so long as you aren't being toxic about it.
I remember that, and in a lot of ways , unfortunately, it still happens today. You see "career women" in movies who have no partner or kids who come home to an empty apartment and drink wine. On the flip side, in some movies, if you are a "housewife," you absolutely have a whole mess of kids and end the day exhausted and seemingly miserable. And also usually, drink wine. For women all throughout history, we will be given shit no matter what we do, how we dress, what our bodies/looks are "supposed to be." We can't win.
If you are a working woman men try to talk down to you because they are intimidated; if you are a housewife they talk down to you because they think you can't do anything but clean and cook. @@XCaptianXChaosX
I'm forty. When I was a girl women were always telling me that I needed an education and career because it isn't safe to depend on men. These were the women who had to depend on men.
I’m 27 and from South Asia. EVERY woman my age knows an older woman either from our own families or a friends family who has been stuck in a marriage she couldn’t get out of because she got married young with barely any qualifications or independent income, and so was dependent on her husband for 40+ years, and then if the marriage went sour or the husband died, the wife was lost and unsure what to do. For urban women of my generation, those are horror stories, warnings to never end up in the same situation. Sometimes it was those older women themselves telling us to never be dependent on a man no matter how nice he is, to have our own bank accounts/income, etc. And for good reason.
My mother has always told me that that worst thing to be in the world is a woman without her own money. In the event that things go awry in a relationship or marriage, we as women should have enough money to be able to survive post-relationship or divorce. I wish tradwives knew this.
"Tradwife" is when you don't sew your own clothes, don't milk your own cow, and don't mill your own flour, yet judge women who do all those things for a living outside the home. Edit to say sorry to be that person lol but thank you all for the likes! 💜
Yea. I see the Trad wives living on what the call a "farm" but still wear heels and light flowly dresses. If that were an actual thing, they would be wearing boots and jeans. There is a reason that people in the country who do farming dress that way. Because wearing the Tradwife garb would get utterly destroyed (and probably so would their ankles and feet). I keep envisioning them trying to feed chickens and milk cows in white linen dresses and heels.
@@XCaptianXChaosX well maby not what they are wearing but woman (and some parts in history men too) have been doing farm work in dresses for probably thousands of years so not impossible
@@neko0my0cat true but they were still rather sturdy dresses that could handle the work of a farm. And there's a reason its less common (because big flowy clothing around farm equipment and unpredictable animals is kind of a bad idea)
@ninja0my0cat Yea. What @StonedHunter said. Also, heels can be dangerous. You can sprain something or just trash your feet (and your shoes). From what I've seen of tradwives, they seem to have more of a garden. In real farming, dressing like that can be dangerous. At the very least, your clothing will be filthy, your shoes covered in dung, and your makeup will melt or smear. My boots have low, thick heels, but also ankle support. I am not knocking heels.I work with dogs that need a little special attention (physically, mentally, or because they were simply orphaned far too young), and I spend a lot of time on my feet. Chasing them. In the rural desert farming community where I live, dressing for comfort and safety is key.
I think it's so refreshing to see a grown man be an adult human instead of an overgrown child, though I have come across older people who think it's degrading for a man to do 'women's work'.
I'm a stay at home mom and the thing that bothers me about this trend is that the content is not a realistic reflection of what this life is actually like. At least none of the influencers I have seen.
@@jencendiary I have just seen so many comments from people saying they really want to be a stay at home mom and how much they look up to these influencers. It makes me want to make a channel 'the realistic house wife' but actually I don't at the same time, I'm to tired 🤣
a realistic depiction of homemaking is a full time 24/7 commitment to the care and feeding of a man and generally a child or children, pets, cleaning, cooking, planning---I'm exhausted just thinking about it. These are services it would cost $87,000 a year to replace.
@luckystoller6171 yeah I love working and miss my job, but after having a second baby the cost of childcare is just so impractical 😩 It's not all bad, I love my time with my children. But it is exhausting! Working 30 to 40 hours a week and full time college was not even quite as hard 🤣 I do plan to go back to work. Staying home all day alone with no kids here will drive me insaaaane !!
Pro tip on getting bread to rise: sometimes the room temperature is too cold for the yeast. A good way to combat this is to turn on your oven to its lowest setting, and then turn it off after it’s warmed up. Leave the dough in the oven with the door cracked a little bit, and it should do the trick! This mimics the proof boxes that bakers use in food service. If the bread still doesn’t rise, then you probably killed the yeast accidentally (speaking from experience, lol)
@@dismurrart6648 unfortunately, I’m not familiar with wheat breads, sorry. But I would assume the same would apply? Edit: I just checked my baking text book, and this is what is says about multigrain breads, “this type requires special handling. The low protein and course texture of whole grains cut into the gluten strands that develop when kneading dough. Higher-protein flours as well as vital wheat gluten are added to strengthen multigrain and rye doughs.” I hope that was helpful?
@@cashwalk7253”Multi-Level-Marketing”, think like pyramid schemes. Pay money to start/gain ‘leads’ on recruiting, recruit people who pay money, they start recruiting people, and so on. Lots of them also make content on TikTok advertising their “businesses” about how you can get rich easily from home, which of course naturally attracts desperate people down on their luck and stay at home moms who wanna take care of their kids and make money at the same time
Someone should tell tradwives that women have always worked. We just didnt get paid for our labor. (This goes for poor women thru out history mostly) not only did women have to cook, clean, and rear the children, but they also had to tend to the family farm, work in the field alongside her husband, tend to the family tavern, work as a maid or a wet nurse to an affluent family(if she was lucky since she would actually get paid for this). All in all, women have always worked outside the home. Being a housewife has always been a privilege afforded to only the most affluent women of society.
Yeah it’s so weird that they’re trying to make traditional wife lifestyle a TREND. The real tradwives were not like this. No housewife WANTED to be a tradwife. It was considered very low class. So this fetishized portrayal of a very specific time period aesthetic is strange.
Another thing is that 1950s and 1960s wives weren't shackled to the house 24/7, with the rise of Home Appliances and domestic technology, a lot of them had time to be active in their neighborhoods and communities as volunteers, being the president of social clubs, PTAs, and freelance. 50s and 60s Housewives socialized with other women as happily back then compared to how I see "Tradwives" treat other women and even each other now.
@@_pugito1659 The point is, trad wife influencers are not working on the farm. Real farm work is not compatible with hours spent looking perfect, having HGTV spotless homes, and making slick video content. They're selling a fantasy.
@@LadyDiskette Part of that is the monetization of literally everything, and that so many of these women are content creators. So they do their housework but also have to set up, film it, and then spend their days posting it. Instead of doing their chores and meeting their friends for book club and organizing a school event. Something something, social media destroying IRL community.
@@KateH-oi7cg A tradwife is essentially the misogynistic version of a wife. A traditional wife is just someone who stays at home, does the cooking and cleaning, etc.
@@powerplayer75 Tradwives think that a woman's only purpose is to be in the kitchen, support their husband, and take care of the kids. Traditional wives do those things, but don't think that that is the sole purpose of women.
My mother was a stay at home mom, and it was so ISOLATING. The few women she could interact with were cringey tradwives, who made fun of her for struggling and wanting to go back to work. There's a reason why so many abusers want their victims to be stay at home spouses--because it's soooo easy to isolate someone who's main source of socialization is the abuser and the children. I'm all for stay at home parents, but I also make sure to tell anyone who wants to be a stay at home parent/spouse to make SURE they keep a support network. And no, I don't mean your partner's friends. I mean your biological family members if possible, as well as YOUR OWN friends. Those who aren't biased towards your partner and can potentially call out red flags.
My mom was a stay at home mom too, and isolating is exactly the word I use to describe her life. She stopped working when she was pregnant with me at 21 years old. She has my youngest sister at 29. She was great at being a mom, and she is the mom that all other kids gravitated to and loved. But now my parents have been empty nesters for about a decade and my mom has no friends. She barely leaves the house. Her life revolves around taking care of my dad even though my dad doesn't want or need her to do so. It's extremely hard to see.
@kellyjacobs4114 I can't speak for the original commenter but in the case of my mom, yes. She constantly complains about it now. This is a very fair question for you to ask 🙂
Tbh in any romantic relationship, you should both maintain your own friendships. Some of your friends will end up shared friends because your partner will click with them, some won't, and that's great. I just think it's so healthy for your circle in the venn diagram of your social life to not be totally overlapping or totally consumed by your partner's circle!
I loved being a stay at home wife and homemaker, but the stress of being sole breadwinner was damaging to my husband. It can be very nice if you can afford it.
I did the stay at home thing for a few months during lock down and my partner was working but I'm still a feminist and he never dared try to tell me what to do. There was just the 2 of us so I still had down time to hang with him in evening after dinner.
@@lizanna6390 Yeah there is not really a "stay at home thing" if you don't have children. Housewives makes sense if there are children in the house or an infant but we have a word for childless stay at home wives. It's "unemployed" 😉 Btw it's okay to be unemployed for a few months I've been unemployed for longer.
Yeah, I think that's something that isn't discussed a lot is the impact this lifestyle has on men. Being a sole earner can be stressful, and some men legitimately do want to spend more time with their family outside of work. If one partner feels consistently overwhelmed with the arrangement, it should be up to both partners to make a different arrangement that works better for both of them. Often, this looks like men helping out more around the house and women working part time to help make ends meet.
Yes. We practiced attachment parenting, and at least in the early years we both recognized that the family unit would be better off if I had plenty of time to recover from pregnancy and childbirth (like is provided in actually civilized countries) and breastfeed, and after that, not have our kids spend most of their waking hours with strangers. My husband had the bigger earning power, but we were also constricted by company policies -- he couldn't work part-time, which would have been ideal so that I could work part-time too. The result was that the full burden of providing income was on him, and the full burden of childcare (and the isolation that goes with that) was on me. It was stressful for him and depressing for me. It was also a risk for me, as it is difficult to re-enter the workforce at a self-sustaining level after so much time out of it. And it was the same for most of the people we knew. (A few had both parents working outside the home and that was its own bag of miseries.) The American work system/culture for families is terrible.
My grandfather 100% had WW2 trauma, and definitely took it out on his kids. My grandmother took care of him and the house and ran a seamstress business from her home, while my grandpa held 2 jobs. They didn't let my aunt go to college and expected them to get married out of high school. They're dead, but im still salty about it in behalf of my aunts.
Be salty about the trauma, too. The male equivalent of the tradwife has to be the way men are expected to experience war with no consequences to their mental or physical health. They both probably wanted their daughters to be looked after. At least, I can imagine how that might play out (that's not to say it's right, just to point out the toxic masculinity involved).
@yippee8570 I am too about that. As I mentioned, he took his emotions (mostly anger) out on my dad and his siblings. My dad never hit me, but he yelled similar to my grandfather. Like many greatest generation grandparents hard ass father but amazing grandfather. If I have kids, I hope I break the cycle.
Another issue with the tradwife thing is that they have such a zero-sum view. I’m a lawyer, I love power tools, and I’m pro-choice. But I also wear girly clothes and cook dinner for my husband and dream about having a baby. I can be feminine AND a feminist. One does not cancel out the other.
No, but people can also WANT to be a dependent and traditionally feminine tradwife. It's entirely valid. IMO feminism is about equality and choice, no NEED to break stereotypes to prove a point.
@@ZoeX87 This this this! I fantasize about being a submissive, dress-wearing 1950s-style housewife. My boyfriend and I have planned to get married and have babies for basically the entirety of our relationship. Most workplaces are stressful and overstimulating for me, and when and if my boyfriend makes enough to support us both, I'd be more than happy to stay at home. But that's just my silly little point of view, and I know that most people would not be happy in that sort of arrangement.
Tradwives always talk about wanting to be a "Proverbs 31 Girl," but then conveniently ignore verses 16-18 which clearly talks about working outside of the home and earning your own money. "16 She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. 17 She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. 18 She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night."
That came to my mind too, when she was talking about the history of women working! 🙂 I love Scripture. 💕 (Also, I don't watch trad wives or have a Tiktok, so I can't speak on this trad wives trend at all.)
I’ve heard of a young tradwife who married right out of high school finding out that her husband of 10 years has been cheating on her the whole time. She wants to leave, but since she never went to college or got any work experience, she’s forced to stay with her cheating husband since she can’t make any money herself. Yeah, definitely not a life for me.
She's legally entitled to half of his assets after being married for 10 years. The odds are also high that she will be awarded primary custody of any children, since she will have already have been the one who mostly takes care of them. Child support and alimony is also likely.... Tell your friend to talk to a lawyer, most of them do free consultations. She definitely doesn't have to stay with him if she doesn't want to.
That is an at fault divorce and it’s a 10 year marriage if she took it to court she’d most likely get half and alimony even if she had a prenup because she’s most likely hasn’t been working for the majority of her adult life.
I was sold this lie as a teenager, got married at 18 and stayed home. GUESS WHAT?! My husband started beating me and cheating on me. He resented my inability to work but wouldn’t let me apply to jobs. I literally had to escape when he was at work by breaking a window because he had started locking me in the house with no keys, cell phone, and no wallet. I left when I was 20 I’m 25 now and my life is just now starting to be normal again. “Traditional living” destroyed my self worth and gave me PTSD. This stuff is propaganda and it’s so dangerous.
That is not being traditional you were living an abusive life. The two are not equated. I’m sorry you were robbed of what it truly means to have a traditional marriage with a loving and caring husband.
Same, before my partner became disabled I used to be the stay at home dad and I was really able to get close to my kids, our house was always clean, and I was able to have a better relationship with my partner, but now I have to work full time to keep things going so it's constantly a game of playing catch up on my days off. Sucks.
Oh my god, the amount of people who come up to me at work to be like “oho I see you’ve gotten back into the kitchen/household” or whatever “just like women are meant to” is fucking abhorrent. For context, I’m a historian and experimental archaeologist, so I wear historical clothing and work in a historic site. And then these guests get surprised when I talk about women’s work historically, and women’s impact on the economy, and how women are very much in the outer sphere. And then these guys complain because I stifled their boners for traditionalism. Anyway, all this to say, I had to explain what a tradwife was to my 65 year old supervisor because she didn’t understand a question we were asked
good lord. those kinda historical dress educational jobs are something i'm pretty interested in and this anecdote doesn't make me disinterested but i never thought about how this would totally happen all the time 😑 at least you can clap back at them with knowledge
I also work at an historic site in historical clothing, and I do “traditional women’s work” but in an historically commercial setting. I don’t think I have ever really gotten much tradwife kind of reactions from the public, probably because they see me doing quite physically demanding work. But I remember a home school mom making a comment about “people knowing their proper roles back then”. I bit my tongue because we were trying to promote a new program to the home schooling association but I unloaded when I got back to the staff room.
@@sidoniegabrielle269 I really do love what I do, and if it’s a field you’re interested in pursuing, I hope you have the chance to! Like everything, it’s not always what it seems to be on the screen/page. Clapping back would be more fun if I could curse at work
@@amyscott9381 oh boy I know that feeling!!! Once I was getting interviewed for a magazine (it was last minute and I didn’t have much of a say and it turned out to be a very fundamentalist publication- and it won’t happen again because thank god our pr team listened to us) and the final question was about like. Protestant values of the past and how they connect to our lives today. Ma’am I’m Jewish.
Hey ladies👋 sorry if I'm oversharing, but I finished college a while ago and did an associates degree in History and Literature. I'm now going to university to continue History and another subject of choice but I got a lot of pushback from people i know. Like they think I'm ruining myself by picking History because they don't see it as a career and im second guessing myself ☹️ archeology does seem interesting and I'm looking for other areas in History to pursue for the future. Any ideas?
Trad wife content trend is either about signifying class (they’re wealthy) or grifting, I’m convinced most of them don’t really believe in it or they wouldn’t have a job making videos on the internet.
Soooo these ppl are telling me to become dependent on a man while they support themself working in social media and making a income this way? am I getting that right?
Thanks for being sane. A trad wife recently showed on my dash board all "my toddler wanted a pb&j -" and she then proceeds to make the bread - 'jam' and 'peanut butter' from scratch. All while wearing a like robe with feathers on it. As someone who has farm stock background it was baffling to behold.
Also - biblical heroines- Judith - widow - goes to the enemy general - gives him The Eye and all coy and stuff. Convinces him to send his men away- to not spoil the mood. Then cuts his head off and carries it out of camp. She was a popular figure in rennaisance art.
@@ed8329 its so weird, kids, especially toddlers and babies need food a lot so why is she wasting time making homemade stuff that’ll take hours of her time while her kids are probably starving, like just go to the store and get some food dude
The insane tradwives are out here saying everyone should live like this, no matter what, and that if you don't want that there's someone wrong with you. That's the difference. Can you imagine every accountant telling you that if you don't want to be an accountant you're causing the downturn of society? That's basically what tradwives are doing. They are out of their minds.
I like how term traditional wife reflects only a tiny period of time in the grand scope of what was in fact traditional. Traditional wife would go in the field with her husband with the baby in tow. No freaking staying at home. You gave birth? Oh cool, you are ready to work in the field.
@@Integrationist Small correction: women *and men* traditionally worked in agriculture. The amount of gender segregation depended quite a bit on how much staff you could afford. Pre-industrial farming was a lot more work-intense than most people today can fathom. Some chores were gender segregated (especially on big farms where there was a lot of men and women available for different chores), such as sewing, washing and cooking for women and idk being rounded up for military duty for men. But at the end of the day, getting a good harvest could be a life or death situation for you and your entire family, so if something needed doing and no one else was available then you better be doing it, regardless if it was gender appropriate.
@@Integrationist Well mostly. Every farm was a family business, of course you would be working with your husband and your in-laws. That's taken for granted in agriculture. Unmarried women working as maids (at least in Sweden) were basically working on different farms to show off their wifing skills so they could hopefully marry some eligible bachelor on the farm, and they were extremely at risk of sexual advantages from any man at the farm since they'd generally be isolated from their own families and dependent on the owners of the farm.
That is nonsense 😆 imagine being segregated in a small English village where absolutely EVERYONE knew each other's business and anyone eligible was seen and often. Then at harvest time people probably arrived to help with various tasks from other surrounding towns and villages and more eligible men were seen and often. We would all be hopelessly inbred by your model. Although, that is royalty more than peasantry I think.@@Integrationist
I want to be a tradwife from the 50s. But like, the 1350s. Work the farm with my husband, have a million babies, half of them die in infancy, and I die of disentery in my 40s. Jokes aside, "tradwives" are just as focused on aesthetics, and doing exactly what they want as the women they criticize. And emulate a lifestyle that's a cultural artifact more than a proper standard to live by. I do live traditional gender roles in my marriage, but it doesn't look anything like the trad larping online.
My husband's ex boss had a traditional marriage. He was very vocal and proud about how his wife knows to have dinner ready, keeps the house spotless, and knows better than to ask him to help with the kids. He bragged about coming home and being pampered while sitting on the couch and acting like he's not part of his own family, which included 3 kids, one of which is autistic. He went out a lot, but she was never allowed to. They shared a FB account, nothing personal allowed for her. He criticized my husband for our more balanced relationship (my husband put up with toooo much at that job). Insert middle finger toward him here. Her reward for all this obedience and subservience was to find out he'd been banging her bestie for over a year. She was always snobby and rude to me, but I was still angry on her behalf. They're still together years later, BTW. 🤷♀ Ladies, take it from someone middle-aged who has seen a lot: Be in a trad marriage if it makes you truly happy, but make damn sure you have a safety net in case he decides one day that he deserves an "upgrade." (Ugh.) I've seen this too many times and the woman _always_ loses while he gets to live his best life without a second thought about you. Don't let another person hold all the cards in your life.
🚨🚨🚨🚨 It is natural for a woman to achieve her self outside the home, including theater, art, science and sports. The home is a place for both men and women to live in, not a cage for women to be confined, confined and buried in the home. She is not born a housemaid or a nanny, nor is she the furniture of the house, nor a refugee in this world to be buried in it. Rather, she is born a human being with a mind, intelligence, passion, talents and great potential. Her nature is her right, duty and innate and natural need to develop and grow them, so that she advances scientifically and flourishes with her talents continuously in science, art, sports and politics... not to suppress, undermine and eliminate them. It is ignorance, nonsense and misogyny to say that her nature is to eliminate her natural and innate need to nourish her mind scientifically and to eliminate, suppress and deny her innate and natural need to develop her talents and potential, so that she does not invent, discover, or be an artist, painter or politician for the rest of her life, as if she were barren, without intelligence, without talents and without potential in science, invention and art... as if only men possessed the mind. And it turns into an invisible being, imprisoned and confined between walls to be a terrace that does not increase her knowledge or hope, only enslaves her and excludes her from social and political life. And when women are outside politics and without financial independence and without scientific progress, they do not make laws, and consequently their rights to scientific progress and prosperity are not encouraged with their talents and capabilities in science and art... meaning work and health... and this is oppression and respression.
I’m a stay at home mom and have been for 13 years. It wasn’t what I planned and did get a college education but then I had a son who is autistic and chronically ill and his appointments alone are a full time job. My husband made more so, it just made sense 🤷 There’s no submitting here and my husband helps a ton with housework and is a hands on dad. I love your trad wife parodies and obvi knew you weren’t going after just typical SAHM. Plenty of us SAHM are leftists and nothing at all like trad wives.
I'm a stay at home parent because I'm on the disability pension, so it was the default option for me! I'm definitely the metaphorically blue haired feminist. I hear all these things about how trad wives get shamed for being sahms. My friendship group mostly consists of feminists. I have not ever once been shamed for being a sahm. Neither are they. They're being shamed for promoting compulsory gender roles and disempowering women.
I have a degree in nursing but am now a sahm because I have special needs kids that needed tons OT and other therapies which is already a full time job
Stopped working because I couldn't work remote and take care of a baby/toddler. Was only supposed to be for only a year but our kid is autistic too and just needs more support.
I was a stay at home mom when my children were infants/toddlers. I have a degree and worked before I had children, but dropping out and staying home with them was the right thing to do for our situation. We relied on whatever piddly government benefits we were eligible for. My hubby worked doing whatever jobs he could and while we never lacked for basics or shelter, we paid an enormous price in terms of financial stability that I don't think we'll ever get over. Even so, I would have happily remained a SAHM, except financial pressures and circumstances outside of our control forced me back into the workplace. Now, my hubby stays home to take care of the children. Hubby and I will consult each other regarding household stuff, but there is none of that submitting bullshit here. We are equals in this relationship, and having 3 daughters, it's vitally important that they know what a healthy relationship looks like so that if they decide to search for life partners, they don't fall for this "tradwife" propaganda crap
A quick note for historical context the GI bill benefited white men 99%. POC where systematically excluded from college benefits and housing. So there is an added layer of racism in desiring to go back to this time where women of color were always working, a lot of times for the white trad wives and where soldiers of color returning were not given equal access to benefits that they also fought and died for.
I was looking for this exact comment. Aesthetically, trad wife content has a very pointed exaggeration of white ideals of femininity and white purity, that excludes its accessibility / relatability to non-white people. Historically, black women in the US have never had the luxury (let alone the choice) not to work. Feminist groups in the past were predominantly white and racist and actively disenfranchised black men and black women (by taking away black men's voting rights and sterilising black women or putting them on birth control without their knowledge, all in the name of "progress").
I was a farm wife for decades to a charming self centered narcissist. Besides the burnout and self esteem issues, I left with nothing but clothes. I have no retirement, social security, low tech skills, no resume etc. If you want to be a SAHM at least have something to fall back on and money with only your name on it.
The "i ThOuGhT fEmiNiSm WaS aBoUt SuPpOrTiNg WoMeN" comments under your satirical shorts are from people who are being purposefully obtuse. They deserve zero attention or energy as they know very well what you mean and are being disingenuous. Their behavior has zero integrity. BUT, great vid, we love you 💜
I think one of the worst things is that this whole trad wife trend is deeply rooted in classicism, as in in order to be a trad wife and only focus on household and kids you need to be able to generate enough money with just your husbands income which sadly isnt even possible for many people yet they are shamed for not doing their best as mothers and caretakers.
On top of that, homemakers in the past actually relied on the labor of other women, if your husband made enough money for you to not also need to work that automatically put you in a strata where you were expected to have a housekeeper/ maid.
You mean feminism is destroying. And it's not capitalism, it's people being suckers and just buying the cheapest thing or the thing that feels most good. Any free economy would do this, what you're effectively saying is that people don't deserve to make their own choices because those choices are stupid. How leftists can hold such contradictory beliefs as this is astounding to me
I’m a stay at home mom and the idea that I don’t “work” is hilarious 😂 I’m too an also bothered by the tradwife movement bc I think it’s trying to paint an unrealistic picture of what it looks like to be a wife and mother.
Im 27 and just escaped being a tradwife. I was brought up from a very young age to be a wife. "Clean your room, youll be a wife one day!" "Until you get married, you're your father's responsibility" and so on. Then one day I had a 🤯 moment and realised i dont know who i am, what i want or even the many options i have in life. People dont realise how important your videos are. Tradwives are a serious problem
Oh my gosh! I thought the same! My mom was a stay at home mom and I was BRED to be a good little wife. My sisters haven’t received this treatment, but for me it was always “if you can’t do xyz, you’ll be a bad wife and no man will ever love you.” And now I struggle to do what I want to do and live life for myself because of it.
I mean, as a kid, you ARE your father's responsibility. If you get married, your husband is definitely responsible for you (just like you're responsible for him). I wouldn't say that's sexist or anything.
Not because I was raised to be a wife or anything but I had a similar mind blown moment when I realized I had been living my life on survival mode - via trying to make sure everyone else is always happy and I always be who others would want me to be - that I didn't know who I was either or really just how to be a person. Thanks to how much my family have judged me for things in the past I feel like I literally can't do anything without it seeming weird so just simply don't. My point being I know exactly how difficult it is to get out of those mindsets so I sympathize with anyone else stuck in a similar position.
When I was a teenager my youth pastor's wife would always lecture us girls about submitting to our husbands, doing everything they say, not having an opinion of our own, and that men know best. But all of the women in my church seemed pretty miserable with their husbands, and it was common knowledge that a lot of the husbands were cheating. So I noped the hell on that one. 😅
I think the point about tradwives making content and thus, in fact, working sounds eerily similar to the hypocrisy of Phyllis Schlafly, who campaigned against the Equal Rights Amendment despite having a masters degree. Why is it that defending a personal choice requires tearing down others for having that same choice?
Phyllis had domestic help and a nanny raising her kids while she traveled across the country shaming other women for doing the same and actively campaigning to decrease access to childcare. Horrible woman.
Usually women like that want themselves to have rights, but they don’t want marginalized women, like the poor, POC, and sex workers to have those same rights, so they sacrifice their own rights just so that women they don’t like can’t have them either.
As a young girl all I ever wanted was to be a mom, but seeing my mom being a stay at home wife without any autonomy having to cater to a very controlling, demanding (but very loving) husband made me want to get an education and a career so I would never have to be “stuck”. My parents have been married for over 40 years but thankfully their marriage is nothing like mine. I have a masters degree, I stayed home for 5 years but now we both work full time. We have two kids in their tweens. Been married for 18 years, my husband loves making homemade bread, I like to clean because I like a neat home, he likes to eat so he cooks… he makes six figures so me working is a choice but a good one for our family, and for my sanity because despite loving kids and adoring my own, I need more…
I feel the same when I think about my parents, though there's also disability mixed in. Made me always want to have my own money and identity and not be stuck with someone ordering me around. But there's always a danger to become dependent, especially when having children or having health/employment struggles.
I love it how you justify your life choices by denigrating your parent’s choices. Surprise! Maybe both options are valid and maybe the fact that your parents had such a long lasting relationship was a sign of happiness and satisfaction not opression.
@@kellyjacobs4114 Or maybe they didn't have any other choice? The reasons can be varying. My parents had a very traditional marriage, but always encouraged me to study, get a good job and career and be financially independent. The reason was their mothers had to raise them on their own i poverty, one due to my grandpa dying young and the other one due to my grandpa leaving her and not taking responsibility for the kids. Both my parents knew how hard life could be, so when they immigrated and saw the options I could have as a woman, they made damned sure I used them. Not because they didn't want me to become a mother or wife, not because they hated traditional living, but because they loved me enough to want me to have life skills to take care of myself and be more comfortable than they were. Jump a few decades and now I'm financially secure enough to buy a nice house and have a nice chunk of savings. My career is at the point where employers throw themselves at me and I can pick and choose how many hours and from where (home or office) I want to work. I don't have to kill myself working long, back breaking hours for minimum wage and can comfortably take care of myself and my family if need be. And I thank my parents every day for not falling for the traditionalist trap of thinking that being smart about your future is somehow an assault against religion, tradition and family.
@@Integrationist Why are you so salty a happily married and successful woman likes to work and didn't find the traditional lifestyle she grew up watching her parents practice unattractive? Weirdo behavior.
@@Integrationist Why shouldn't she hate marital submission? A healthy relationship is not about submission but about partnership and compromise. Sounds like she has a very good partnership with her husband where they respect each others needs and split duties accordingly. And yes, why can't work be about feeling like she's doing something meaningful to her? Most people need something meaningful to do in their lives to feel good about themselves, whether it's working, having a certain hobby they're crazy about, having a family or all of the above. Otherwise people tend to get depressed and down on themselves.
Not to mention that most “trad wives” weren’t actually doing the housework. They were paying Black women below minimum wage to take care of their kids and their houses
I’m a traditional wife but not a tradwife. Being a stay at home mom that homeschools our kids works for our family because we are business owners and don’t have debt after being married 15 yrs. But I don’t think everyone SHOULD do what I do. I really dgaf what anyone outside my immediate family does bc it doesn’t affect me lol tradwives give me the creeps.
You are one of the only women in these comments who be truly happy! These women do not understand that feminism has sold them a lie. They will never be truly happy like you will be, truly for filled as a women. Don't let these twisted women fool you into thinking you made the wrong decision in life. They will all soon realise it is them that has chosen a path against biology and nature. Sadness and lack will haunt them when it;s too late for them.
I’m a very religious SAH homeschooling mom of seven under seven, and love this video! What you see in those influencer tradwife videos isn’t real life. I live it every day. Thankfully, I had parents who supported me in obtaining my BA and MS, but also supported me when I walked away from my career to care for my kiddos and have a large family. The biggest issues I run into socially are comments from feminist friends saying that I “wasted” my education by quitting my lucrative job. AND comments from trad-wife friends who say I “wasted” money by attending college for seven years. None of it has been a waste, people! I use my degrees every day when homeschooling my own kids and am so grateful my education went beyond 12th grade. I’ve gotten to the point where I realize I’m never going to make everyone happy and that’s not my role anyway. I just need to focus on what’s best for myself and my family, and it’s okay if that looks different than what other women have chosen 🤷♀️
It’s too funny - whenever I hear sus people and podcasts that claim everyone should adopt the philosophy that men should work and women should stay home as is “tradition” - I’m just so like…traditional for who? 😂. All four of my great-grandmothers worked (maid, shoe factory worker, secretary, accountant). What fantasy past is this? 😂
Yeah people who say women traditionally stayed at home with children are delusional and have no understanding of history beyond watching an episode of Leave it to Beaver.
THANK YOU. Can we also talk about the fact that for centuries, most non-white women ran a house AND worked outside the home, as that is what the economy dictated? Tradwives seem to just be about white ladies in pinafores making bread and loving nationalism.
I have no idea why people today think women in the past didn't work. My grandmother's, great grandmothers, great aunts, basically everyone worked. A lot. My mom worked like 5 jobs in education to support us. My grandmother was the first woman principle of a school (back in the 1930s) and my great aunt played piano at the White House in the Victorian era (she also did a ton of other things and never got married, so her father would escort her in Society.) My great aunt also lived with her woman "roommate" for the majority of her life. I come from a matriarchal family. The leader of our family is almost always a woman. Right now, it's my mom. When I'm older, it should be me (if I ever leave the desert and stop being painfully introverted.)
All of the women in my family worked outside the home at one point, seamstressing, bookkeeping, secretarial work, etc. Honestly, I think many of the women preferred it to working in the home due to how they talk about it.
It's interesting because I'm a Californian (SoCal), and I grew up in a very liberal area in Norcal. I always have been told my whole life that my greatest dream should be to marry a rich man and have babies. As a little girl I wanted to be a doctor/scientist, but I have been told for years by older women, mentors, teachers, coworkers, relatives, that my greatest worth comes from a rich doctor/lawyer man supporting me and being pregnant. These trads who claim little girls are being "discouraged" from being stay at home mothers are bullshitters.
That is interesting. I grew up in a quite conservative area, and didn't dare to tell people that my main "what I want to be when I grow up" was a stay-at-home mom. The very clear message to me was "you're a smart girl, you're going to DO something with your life!"
Trad Wives are so far right with scary conservatism -pick me's who are trying to set women back to the 1800s with no voting rights, no reproductive rights etc. It scares the hell out of me . Thank you for talking about this ! We forget that were was also propaganda for women to leave jobs in the 50s so men could have them back and that it was "unwomanly" to do these and couldn't be hired for equal pay or could own bank accounts.
The irony of it though is that for many women these days, if you say "That is unwomanly" the more common response is "so what" or "anything women do is womanly"
@@tylerbenderr I’m going into college next year as an anthropology major and this is the energy that I’m going to bring to any paper I have to write omg
I was a stay at home mom for 12 years, right out of college freshman year. I loved it thoroughly, and tried to embrace "submission ", but ultimately that's what drove us apart, that and figuring out religious b.s. didn't work for my own development anymore. Yep, i totally understand being married with children young, with no education back up, and splitting up from the provider husband. It's hard, very, very hard.
In the 40s,my great grandmas husband died. They had 3 children. My great grandma was a baker, and ended up making a career out of this and supporting her kids and then herself for the rest of her life. My grandma worked a part time job while my dad was growing up to help support the family. That’s a traditional housewife and woman
I'm a woman who longed to be a trad wife and blamed my feminist mother for ruining all my plans. I love the concept of being a traditional wife. What I love even more, was your break down of the trend and way of expressing your opposition to several aspects of it without being mean. Thank you. Great content.
I highly recommend the book "The Making of Biblical Womanhood" by Beth Allison Barr. She's a scholar with a doctorate in Medieval and Church History, and her book was so eye opening in terms of how powerful and important women were a super normal part of Christian culture through the Medieval ages. It was really post-reformation times that things began to shift towards Christian patriarchy. Dr. Barr also has a super unique perspective as her husband used to be an SBC pastor but basically got booted from their church for believing that there was a biblical case for egalitarian leadership. Great read for any of my fellow Christians out there who also feel like complementarian views don't fit with how Jesus treated women. ALSO she talks through some of the verses (especially Paul's) that are often used to keep women down, and that there are very very different ways they can be interpreted.
Thank you! Modern day American Christianity is so terrifying to me that I don’t identity as Christian anymore. I tell people I believe in God instead because of how radical and scary the American Christian has become
I'll check it out! I get angrier than I can explain at the current state of the religion and especially the men who constantly preach absolute sexism. Also I remember being very young and asking my distance cousin (a priest) why women couldn't be priests and he basically just said because the Bible said so? I could go on and on and on about my thoughts but I have a feeling you get it.
I’m a sahm wife and mom of three kids. The lifestyle of putting family above everything and working inside the home is so much easier and peaceful. But I think the type of husband you have is what makes the lifestyle amazing or not. Shout out to all the awesome husbands and men who make this life possible.
Well, I hope for you that your husband stays healthy so that y'all have an income for the rest of your lives then. And that he stays with you and won't trade you in for a younger model once that opportunity arrives. Laying your entire life into someone else's hands, that you have zero control over, isn't for me but y'all stay safe out there.
@@xxromanovaxx6682 he has life insurance and 401k. We are both on deed of the house that’s paid off so I’m confident I will be fine. I have a degree I can fall back on Incase I need a job. He’s a quality guy and we started out as best friends and still are so I’m not worried about being traded in. 20 yrs later he’s still the rock of our family
@@xxromanovaxx6682 my mom was a sahm and when we left my abusive sperm donor she started her own cleaning business to provide for us, and make sure she was there for me when I needed it (I was a very sickly child). She bought and owned two houses at a point. Later on she got training in medical transcription and worked from home for a long time. My best friend was a sahm, left her psycho husband, and now has her own massage therapy business so she can continue homeschooling their special needs son - and child support helps. I could list many other examples. Nobody has to stay stuck, people can learn and grow and find a way. It would be the same if you had a lucrative career and then suddenly wound up disabled. Nothing in this life is 100% certain, and eventually we all have to adapt and change.
I'm obsessed with tradwives rn, I find it so fascinating because like a lot of people, I love homely things like baking, and nesting, and looking after my kids. I do find it so interesting how women so invested in the importance of women's roles can be so antifeminist, when capitalist society values parenthood so little, and there is an entire school of thought of feminism which advocates precisely for recognising how needed the role of motherhood is (maternalism).
Agreed. Many couples, including my husband and me, both need to work in order to meet basic needs. He wants me to stay home (and I'm not against it), but I understand that we aren't at that phase right now.
@@GalinaEv The Simpsons actually had a whole musical number about how the middle class is pretty much gone now and nobody can live like Homer and Marge anymore. And considering how much tradwives worship 50s aesthetic, I'd actually be more inclined to blame what Simpsons was satirizing. You know, stuff like Leave it to Beaver and Father Knows Best.
Sometimes i look at my own culture and how different things were for women and it destroys this idea of a universal concept of femininity and a "woman's place". Tradwife grifters could never be a traditional Inupiaq wife and live up to those expectations and responsibilities. Not one of them could cook over an oil lamp, sew mukluks as often as they need to be replaced out of skins they tanned themselves, gentle parent their children including infant potty training, trap, fish, crab, climb sheer cliff faces to get food out of everyday storage, bathe their children in nothing but oil, delouse their husbands and kids, or even handle the idea of having two husbands, let alone being the athletic equal of at least one
@@Valeria-sx7uv they are ^-^ they'd historically even wear their toughness on their faces as the traditional coming of age chin tattoos were very painful and thus a show of endurance (the thicker the lines, the more pain she could withstand). I'm very proud to descend from them.
my great grandmother was the main breadwinner of the family after great grandpa suffered a debilitating accident. She would come home from the textile mill and he would spend the day making pot-roasts and testing the wine.
The reality is that being a tradwife in a sustainable way is a pretty privileged choice to be able to make, and that inherently makes it a joke to peddle it to people while also monetizing it And the talking points about the "negative" aspects of choosing to be independent are caused by late stage capitalism, but we dare not address these things directly, as tradwives specifically benefit from the oppressive structures in place :)
it is absolutely so privileged. there is absolutely no way me and my fiance could financially be able to have a child right now, let alone have a child AND one of us quit to take care of it full time???? how in the HELL do these people afford that shit. that type of comfort knowing you can survive off of 1 income is not a luxury many have. if one of us loses a job, we'd be finding another as fast as possible in order to pay our bills
💯💯💯 Not sure if they're just really, really dumb and naive or if they're purposely misrepresenting reality.... Based on the fact the big ones have monetized their weird little crusade, it looks like the latter. Either way, it's not a good look.
Yes, even the 1950s house wife they are trying to portray was largely a myth. These people think advertisements and movies were somehow reality when they were made to sell you things or entertain you, so of course they are more picturesque. They are really just glamorizing being at least upper middle class.
Ok, so I’m 53 and my husband of 21 years passed away a year and half ago. He was diagnosed with esophageal cancer and passed within a year. So very quickly. Due to my own previous health issues, I was a stay at home wife. We never had children because of my health issues but I DID do everything around the house. Which I did not mind because he took really good care of me and was very respectful. When he passed away, he left me everything; life insurance, 401k, pension. If he hadn’t set me up the way he had, because I have no “real” skills, I would have been screwed. I definitely agree that women should have a way to support themselves if anything were to happen. Because like I stated before, if he hadn’t made sure I’d still be taken care of after his passing-screwed. Period.
Women have always hussled. It could be as a seamstress, maid, head of household, tutoring, nannying etc. The modern version of that is various MLMs and content creators.
My mom got out of work (a very good paying one) to be a stay at home mom, sure it went fine the first couple of years as my father did act like a provider but all that changed sooo quickly. My father decides he doesn’t want to provide anymore bc my mom “wants to drain him from his money” and “he has provided for enough years. Now it’s been 2 years we’ve been fighting to get a decent child support for me and my brother, my mom can’t easily work bc of how long it’s been and my father doesn’t even take responsibility on anything (we’ve survived so long bc my mom did have savings and sold a lot of her stuff, most women I’ve met give up). If you want to be a traditional wife, SAVE MONEY, work from home! Have a plan bc nothing prepares you for this! Taking care of children and a household is a job too, you deserve your own money and independence too
Good lord, Arya was so painfully close to identifying the real problems in her tradwife sob story. Literally all her grievances are the result of the late-stage capitalist hellscape we're living in. Where the hell is the feminism in her scenario??
"Being in debt is normal" is much more a criticism of capitalism than it is of feminism. She kind of stumbled into a good point, and then blamed it on women instead.
That's what bothers me most, they are promoting this 50s myth of looking cute in a petticoat while the husband goes to work, but actually they are working as instagram/tiktok influencers. They are playing into the male fantasy of having this submissive woman that is totally dependent on the husband, always friendly, never bored, upset, or angry. None of these girls is over 50 so they don't know how it's going to work in the long term, but they are still promoting it to young girls as the solution to everything - because obviously it's their job. My grandma has worked all her life, but only "women's jobs" which weren't paid well. My other grandma worked only part time as my grandfather earned well, but she would have loved to have her own business which she couldn't do as a woman back then. The 50s weren't a great time for women and I am glad that I don't need to depend on a man to live my life.
I had people try to tell me I would be a tradwife because I got married at 24 (not too young to get married btw). Jokes on them, I work full time, make 70k a year + a VA stipend monthly (1.7k a month), I have my own hobbies, friends, and Im not gonna have kids. My husband doesnt want kids either. Being married and childfree is great. I know why people are not a fan of marriage or having kids. I thought I wouldn't get married at all. But I'm married and still working and have my own life. My life hasn't changed much since I got married.
I live in Hungary, here maternity leave is 2 years, but most women go back to work earlier cuz in these 2 years you only get 70 percent of your salary. I was at home with my girl for 1.5 years, then she went to daycare. I did not feel guilt for a minute. She loves it, it's good for kids to be around similar aged fellas
Good choice! My parents had our grandparents watch me and my sister during the weekdays until I was... idk, 5? Something like that, and it actually stunted my social development a bit since we lived out in nowhere and had such limited social interactions. (I got better eventually, but not having social skills on par with my peers sucked ass, especially since at that age I had no clue wtf I was doing wrong) It was a very convenient solution in the moment, and I'm sure that my parents thought they were doing us a favor since we loved our grandparents so much, but humans are social animals and we're supposed to have more people around us than just a small family unit.
I grew up in a coastal town and the older people were very positive about women having a job or a financial plan b. Why? Because, as he quote goes, "there are three types of people: the living, the dead and the ones who are at sea." With a husband at sea, decades ago, you had to work, either with him or by yourself because, yup he could come back and make bank, and then he'd go at sea again this time with your oldest in tow. Or maybe you'd learn that he was dead by the time the boat came back and then what?. Or maybe he traveled for trade and, bam, he was taken as prisoner in the war and you were never told. Or maybe he was on land, building boats and a big piece of wood falls... These tradwives spit in the face of all the work the past generation of women did so we could all have better life conditions. It's women rights, better worker's rights, better living conditions... The dream was a society were you had a better chance to both be alive and work or not and take care of the children in an appeased society. Capitalism chewed that up but no... bad women bad...
Bingo! The cost of education, government, inflation, corporate greed…etc are the problem. You can be both a good mother and a working woman! Never limit yourself to only one.
Another thing: men will badly mistreat you if you’re a stay at home mother. There are so many people who have had every dime snatched out of their bank accounts and left penniless with their children after he ran off with his mistress. So please have a back up, have a rainy day fund and some hustle on the side, better yet make him pay you.
The original Rosie the Riveter image is of a super buff women showing off her biceps at the plane factory but women who were taught they had to look feminine did not like this look and so the Rosie the riveter feminine version was born. I highly recommend looking up the "The untold story of the iconic Rosie the Riveter poster." Anyway, I really enjoyed your rant and agree with you.
The thing about being a trad wife in a religious context is that - at least in the christian doctrine - women are told to work. Like sure there's a bunch of stuff about child rearing, but there's also commandments to work the farm and watch the finances and help your spouse. Literally everything about trad wifery is just made up from watching 50s coffee advertisements and thinking people were actually like that.
You just said the same thing as her. Working the farm and working the finances are working at the home. The farm is the home, home us where they kept their money. Feminist just living in their echo chamber lol
In my opinion- What really pisses me off about ‘Trad Wives’ is that my mom is a working single mom, and my ‘father’ is so incompetent that he can barely keep a job let alone support his kids. So when I hear trad wives saying you must be a trad wife and not work, it sort of pisses me off internally as sure- it would be ideal if we could all just stay home with our children/parents and have the luxury of having a partner who can support both of you- however thats just basically impossible these days. And submitting to your partner and letting them choose for you is just a stupid idea most of the time, as this could most likely lead to abuse or things like that and taking care of your partner should not be your job as they could grow heavily dependent on you.
Okay I LOVE this video! But as a Roman historian whose thesis was on gender and sexuality in the early Empire I want to add some context. 1. While women could be engaged at very young ages and marriages were legally not allowed to take place until age 12 for girls and 14 for men through much of the period, young teen marriage mostly applied to upper class (equestrian or senatorial class) women and even most of those women were first married in their late teens, depending on the timeframe in Roman history. Lower class women were less likely to be married so young. With the rise of Christianity, women were typically married a bit later, but this wasn’t a huge change for many classes. 2. Married women absolutely could not sleep around in terms of Roman adultery laws, but stoning or being killed due to adultery was very very uncommon throughout the majority of Roman history, though legally okay. Divorce was super easy and super common in the Roman Empire before Christianity (even easier than today), so it was more likely she’d be divorced and would face social consequences rather than judicial ones. Married men could sleep around with any other UNMARRIED woman who was not under her father’s potestas aka household, such as women enslaved to him, sex workers, etc., but if he slept with another married woman, he was committing adultery and could technically also be killed by that woman’s husband or father (again, not super common). So early Christianity did make an impact on women’s life in Rome due to increased agency for women in the religion, but other religious mystery cults (aka secret religions devoted to one god/dess, such as Isis) also offered women much more religious agency. Rome wasn’t a great time to be a woman, but it was better than the Greek city-states or Hellenistic period, and women could inherit property, divorce if her husband was shitty, and become quite wealthy (even independently once her father died). For a great source on all this, check out Women’s Life in Greece and Rome by Lefkowitz and Fant! ❤ (Also totally agree that Jesus would have been a blue-haired liberal-his teachings were radically feminist for the time)
I've noticed on TikTok there's a big trend of people pretending to be something they're not Whether it be tradwives, men's advocates, relationship experts, or any number of things, the only thing that matters is getting as many subscribers as possible to raid the TikTok creator fund. It's kind of depressing.
Do a longer version woman! I loved it, just like you I am also speaking actively against these Tradwifery and will continue to do so. I just discovered you and you are awesome, but you definitely need to do a longer video.😘
The women throughout history who were able to be “tradwives” were rich women and solidly upper-middle/solidly middle class and thus could afford to raise kids and survive on just their husbands incomes. For most of history, the rest of us women had to clean and managed these tradwife womens houses and raise their kids and cook for these tradwife women’s families and wash and sew their clothes. Then 99% of the remaining women worked in factories, worked as governesses and teachers, worked as nurses, helped out our families by working on our families’ farms and businesses for free. A couple of us lucky ones got to make a living off of our minds by being writers and journalists and art. I don’t get where staying at home as a wife and mother was ever the norm - the vast majority of women had to work day in and day out both inside and outside the house for the last couple of hundreds of years without our work ever truly being noticed, acknowledged or focused on.
I had a former friend who did the marry young and stop working/ getting an education. Not a tradwife just kind of lazy and spoiled (had a cleaning person, didn’t cook etc). She was pretty miserable toward the end of our friendship, was cheating with his friend but would not end the marriage because basically there would be no one to take care of her and she had no skills.
That was a fantastic commentary and very funny! Hey, guess what? I married a %3 dude, he's a tradesmen. Can take care of us on one income, even before we moved to a more affordable area, when I stopped working outside the home. We're expecting our first now. My life during my career resembled what these influencers are fronting. You don't have to stop your career or education to bake bread, have a garden, or acquire handy "traditionally feminine" skills. I love the HARD WORK I put into my garden and baking. I am not a "trad-wife." To me it looks like dress up, marketing, and fronting. If you want ACTUAL inspiration, ideas, and influences in "traditional living" I highly recommend following gardeners, homesteaders, knitters, etc. Newsflash, "traditional living" has me decked out in Carhartt more than anything. A large part of the reason I stay home now is I worked for seven years, 5 being a carrier field. Three of that being "a man's job" in that field, and I padded my savings like crazy. The trades in our area are a good living, but my nest egg is what will put us into our first home. Waiting for this life was painful and I dodged a lot of nasty men seeking "house/trad-wife & mother" trying to tear me apart. I was resigned to the possibility or remaining single until my husband and I found each other. While I did not go to college, my carrier required licensees and certifications that I could get back, or use as experience jumping into another field. Heck, I could jump right back into my old field with just office duties and not need a license. Whether we have girls or boys, I would highly encourage them to get training, licenses, cert's, even college education, to gear up and save up. I would love to raise them with skills they can turn into careers, especially ones that can be done remotely or with dedicated space at home or a local business. I would love for them to have a good marriage and children if that's what they want, and to always have the means to support their families. "Tradwife" is a scam. The life we lead as a young couple, is reality. The reality is women work hard, have valuable skills, generate/save significant income for their families, and lay the groundwork for the next generation. Women are awesome.
The "traditional" aspects of the lifestyle were initially roles that upper class and upper middle class women in the 1800s. Working class families basically always had women working alongside their husband's.
I’m not a trad wife or a wife, but girl fresh homemade bread when done right is waaaaaaaay better than store bought bread. You didn’t add enough salt that’s why it’s bland and it needed more time to rise so it wouldn’t be lumpy and would have a lighter texture
people really be confusing wanting to not grind 24/7 and to be free from capitalisim to actually do things that make them happy with wanting to strip your rights away. Like no brenda,you don't want to go back to the time where your husband could beat you and you couldn't even have a bank account,you just want to catch a fucking break.
Omg i was in my cast iron group, and i swear this chick made a troll post pretending to be your tradwife character. Tbh i think i could be happy living a stay at home life, id want a couple million in a dividend account first though. People assume what you have right now is forever but people get divorced, people become disabled, people die. Ive heard from so many older women who work menial jobs, that they did the housewife life, or they quit their job to care for kids. Then something happens and they don't have a safety net. The world is not forgiving to those who don't plan
I'm a tradwife and I love it. I will never judge another woman for choosing a different life than mine, and I cannot understand how some women can just completely tear down other women. So sad.
Been following your shorts for a while for the van life, almond mom, and trad wife content. After watching this video, I am looking forward to more long form content and will be visiting former videos of yours!
Im also so annoyed by people like that saying „I was born in the wrong generation“, and that coming from all genders , like be thankful you can choose what you do and can be safe while working at home or being a house wife
Tradwives using choice feminism to defend themselves from criticism is really something. You aren't practicing choice feminism if you don't think women should have choices. But also -- as someone with a passing familiarity with actual farming it's very funny to me how often tradwife content idealizes farm wives. It's some real 'Marie Antoinette playing in her model farm' shit.
There's also a class argument to be made: historically, poor people did not have the luxury of having one parent not work. Even these days, it's difficult to make ends meet without two parents working (which is not feminism's fault, but more the system we live in).
True i have a grandma that is disabled and had a hard time working because the world was more abellist back then than now, she was lucky to have my grandpa was a good man that made enough money to not go under because of capitalism. But them he got terminal cancer and died, my grandma was lucky to be old enough to have widow insurance but younger people don't get that because capitalism is a parasite
10000% !!
@@juliaboskamp9666 The world is still ableist, believe me.
@@JaneAustenAteMyCat yeah thats why i said it was *more* abellist that now
A trad wife is the modern day equivalent of a lady of leisure even among the wealthy there’s few who could do that.
I was raised with the idea of "working woman" and "housewife" and both were used to insult women. personally I like to use both sayings for different lifestyles. there's nothing wrong with wanting to live either lifestyle so long as you aren't being toxic about it.
Agreed!! 👏👏👏👏
I remember that, and in a lot of ways , unfortunately, it still happens today.
You see "career women" in movies who have no partner or kids who come home to an empty apartment and drink wine.
On the flip side, in some movies, if you are a "housewife," you absolutely have a whole mess of kids and end the day exhausted and seemingly miserable. And also usually, drink wine.
For women all throughout history, we will be given shit no matter what we do, how we dress, what our bodies/looks are "supposed to be."
We can't win.
this is so real. like women truly can't do anything right for these people
If you are a working woman men try to talk down to you because they are intimidated; if you are a housewife they talk down to you because they think you can't do anything but clean and cook. @@XCaptianXChaosX
@@jordyngray83
No one does that lol
-COMANCHE NATION
I'm forty. When I was a girl women were always telling me that I needed an education and career because it isn't safe to depend on men. These were the women who had to depend on men.
I’m 27 and from South Asia. EVERY woman my age knows an older woman either from our own families or a friends family who has been stuck in a marriage she couldn’t get out of because she got married young with barely any qualifications or independent income, and so was dependent on her husband for 40+ years, and then if the marriage went sour or the husband died, the wife was lost and unsure what to do. For urban women of my generation, those are horror stories, warnings to never end up in the same situation. Sometimes it was those older women themselves telling us to never be dependent on a man no matter how nice he is, to have our own bank accounts/income, etc. And for good reason.
Same for me. My grandmas were same
My mother has always told me that that worst thing to be in the world is a woman without her own money. In the event that things go awry in a relationship or marriage, we as women should have enough money to be able to survive post-relationship or divorce. I wish tradwives knew this.
And they would say it quietly like it was a secret
In reality. You will always have to depend on men in one way or the other. And men will always need women in one way or the other.
"Tradwife" is when you don't sew your own clothes, don't milk your own cow, and don't mill your own flour, yet judge women who do all those things for a living outside the home.
Edit to say sorry to be that person lol but thank you all for the likes! 💜
Yea. I see the Trad wives living on what the call a "farm" but still wear heels and light flowly dresses.
If that were an actual thing, they would be wearing boots and jeans. There is a reason that people in the country who do farming dress that way. Because wearing the Tradwife garb would get utterly destroyed (and probably so would their ankles and feet). I keep envisioning them trying to feed chickens and milk cows in white linen dresses and heels.
@@XCaptianXChaosX well maby not what they are wearing but woman (and some parts in history men too) have been doing farm work in dresses for probably thousands of years so not impossible
@@neko0my0cat true but they were still rather sturdy dresses that could handle the work of a farm. And there's a reason its less common (because big flowy clothing around farm equipment and unpredictable animals is kind of a bad idea)
@ninja0my0cat Yea. What @StonedHunter said. Also, heels can be dangerous. You can sprain something or just trash your feet (and your shoes). From what I've seen of tradwives, they seem to have more of a garden. In real farming, dressing like that can be dangerous. At the very least, your clothing will be filthy, your shoes covered in dung, and your makeup will melt or smear.
My boots have low, thick heels, but also ankle support. I am not knocking heels.I work with dogs that need a little special attention (physically, mentally, or because they were simply orphaned far too young), and I spend a lot of time on my feet. Chasing them. In the rural desert farming community where I live, dressing for comfort and safety is key.
🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
My dad’s gf in her 70s gets visibly uncomfortable when I, an adult male, cook for myself or do laundry.
Hahaha my grandma is like this😂😂
I think it's so refreshing to see a grown man be an adult human instead of an overgrown child, though I have come across older people who think it's degrading for a man to do 'women's work'.
It's internalised misogyny. Shes been conditioned that that's her value and it makes her feel like she has no value. It's actually awful.
What does she expect? For you to starve and live with dirty clothes? 😂
Tho seriously, these are happening to boys who are raised wrong.
That is because in the past there was order and everyone knew their job, today there is just chaos.
I'm a stay at home mom and the thing that bothers me about this trend is that the content is not a realistic reflection of what this life is actually like. At least none of the influencers I have seen.
That's because it's not for stay at home moms. It's for frustrated incels.
@@jencendiary I have just seen so many comments from people saying they really want to be a stay at home mom and how much they look up to these influencers. It makes me want to make a channel 'the realistic house wife' but actually I don't at the same time, I'm to tired 🤣
@@nspencer257 Lol the eternal dilemma
a realistic depiction of homemaking is a full time 24/7 commitment to the care and feeding of a man and generally a child or children, pets, cleaning, cooking, planning---I'm exhausted just thinking about it. These are services it would cost $87,000 a year to replace.
@luckystoller6171 yeah I love working and miss my job, but after having a second baby the cost of childcare is just so impractical 😩 It's not all bad, I love my time with my children. But it is exhausting! Working 30 to 40 hours a week and full time college was not even quite as hard 🤣 I do plan to go back to work. Staying home all day alone with no kids here will drive me insaaaane !!
Pro tip on getting bread to rise: sometimes the room temperature is too cold for the yeast. A good way to combat this is to turn on your oven to its lowest setting, and then turn it off after it’s warmed up. Leave the dough in the oven with the door cracked a little bit, and it should do the trick! This mimics the proof boxes that bakers use in food service.
If the bread still doesn’t rise, then you probably killed the yeast accidentally (speaking from experience, lol)
Omg thank u! I will try this next time
Ty for the tip! Any tips for whole wheat bread?
@@dismurrart6648 unfortunately, I’m not familiar with wheat breads, sorry. But I would assume the same would apply?
Edit: I just checked my baking text book, and this is what is says about multigrain breads, “this type requires special handling. The low protein and course texture of whole grains cut into the gluten strands that develop when kneading dough. Higher-protein flours as well as vital wheat gluten are added to strengthen multigrain and rye doughs.” I hope that was helpful?
It also doesn't look like you kneaded it enough. It should be more smooth and stretchy if you've developed the gluten enough.
I've been dealing with this exact problem, so thank you! All I want is garlic naan 😭
Minor detail - while most "tradwives" are not traditionally employed many end up falling prey to MLM's.
MLM?
@@cashwalk7253 Multi-level marketing aka pyramid scheme. Think Mary Kay or Young Living
@@cashwalk7253”Multi-Level-Marketing”, think like pyramid schemes. Pay money to start/gain ‘leads’ on recruiting, recruit people who pay money, they start recruiting people, and so on. Lots of them also make content on TikTok advertising their “businesses” about how you can get rich easily from home, which of course naturally attracts desperate people down on their luck and stay at home moms who wanna take care of their kids and make money at the same time
@@cashwalk7253 Multi Level Marketing - also known as pyramid schemes.
@@cashwalk7253 Multi-level marketing companies. Basically pyramid schemes
Someone should tell tradwives that women have always worked. We just didnt get paid for our labor. (This goes for poor women thru out history mostly) not only did women have to cook, clean, and rear the children, but they also had to tend to the family farm, work in the field alongside her husband, tend to the family tavern, work as a maid or a wet nurse to an affluent family(if she was lucky since she would actually get paid for this). All in all, women have always worked outside the home. Being a housewife has always been a privilege afforded to only the most affluent women of society.
Yeah it’s so weird that they’re trying to make traditional wife lifestyle a TREND. The real tradwives were not like this. No housewife WANTED to be a tradwife. It was considered very low class.
So this fetishized portrayal of a very specific time period aesthetic is strange.
Another thing is that 1950s and 1960s wives weren't shackled to the house 24/7, with the rise of Home Appliances and domestic technology, a lot of them had time to be active in their neighborhoods and communities as volunteers, being the president of social clubs, PTAs, and freelance.
50s and 60s Housewives socialized with other women as happily back then compared to how I see "Tradwives" treat other women and even each other now.
Working on the farm is working at home. Their farms are their homes. I have no clue what you are on abouy
@@_pugito1659 The point is, trad wife influencers are not working on the farm. Real farm work is not compatible with hours spent looking perfect, having HGTV spotless homes, and making slick video content. They're selling a fantasy.
@@LadyDiskette Part of that is the monetization of literally everything, and that so many of these women are content creators. So they do their housework but also have to set up, film it, and then spend their days posting it. Instead of doing their chores and meeting their friends for book club and organizing a school event.
Something something, social media destroying IRL community.
people just don't get there's a difference between being a "traditional wife" and being a tradwife............. there's a disconnect there i think
Yep 😬😬
So what’s the diff
@@KateH-oi7cg A tradwife is essentially the misogynistic version of a wife. A traditional wife is just someone who stays at home, does the cooking and cleaning, etc.
@@ouioui2626 thats descriptive but not explanatory. what about a tradwife is misogynsitic that separates it from a traditional wife?
@@powerplayer75 Tradwives think that a woman's only purpose is to be in the kitchen, support their husband, and take care of the kids. Traditional wives do those things, but don't think that that is the sole purpose of women.
My mother was a stay at home mom, and it was so ISOLATING. The few women she could interact with were cringey tradwives, who made fun of her for struggling and wanting to go back to work. There's a reason why so many abusers want their victims to be stay at home spouses--because it's soooo easy to isolate someone who's main source of socialization is the abuser and the children.
I'm all for stay at home parents, but I also make sure to tell anyone who wants to be a stay at home parent/spouse to make SURE they keep a support network. And no, I don't mean your partner's friends. I mean your biological family members if possible, as well as YOUR OWN friends. Those who aren't biased towards your partner and can potentially call out red flags.
My mom was a stay at home mom too, and isolating is exactly the word I use to describe her life. She stopped working when she was pregnant with me at 21 years old. She has my youngest sister at 29. She was great at being a mom, and she is the mom that all other kids gravitated to and loved. But now my parents have been empty nesters for about a decade and my mom has no friends. She barely leaves the house. Her life revolves around taking care of my dad even though my dad doesn't want or need her to do so. It's extremely hard to see.
This is your opinion. Does your mom actually feel this way?
@kellyjacobs4114 I can't speak for the original commenter but in the case of my mom, yes. She constantly complains about it now. This is a very fair question for you to ask 🙂
Tbh in any romantic relationship, you should both maintain your own friendships. Some of your friends will end up shared friends because your partner will click with them, some won't, and that's great. I just think it's so healthy for your circle in the venn diagram of your social life to not be totally overlapping or totally consumed by your partner's circle!
Being a women is about building a community too. A good husband is supportive to the wife’s personal life. No one owns anyone.
I loved being a stay at home wife and homemaker, but the stress of being sole breadwinner was damaging to my husband. It can be very nice if you can afford it.
I did the stay at home thing for a few months during lock down and my partner was working but I'm still a feminist and he never dared try to tell me what to do. There was just the 2 of us so I still had down time to hang with him in evening after dinner.
@@lizanna6390 Yeah there is not really a "stay at home thing" if you don't have children.
Housewives makes sense if there are children in the house or an infant but we have a word for childless stay at home wives. It's "unemployed" 😉
Btw it's okay to be unemployed for a few months I've been unemployed for longer.
Yeah, I think that's something that isn't discussed a lot is the impact this lifestyle has on men. Being a sole earner can be stressful, and some men legitimately do want to spend more time with their family outside of work. If one partner feels consistently overwhelmed with the arrangement, it should be up to both partners to make a different arrangement that works better for both of them. Often, this looks like men helping out more around the house and women working part time to help make ends meet.
Yes. We practiced attachment parenting, and at least in the early years we both recognized that the family unit would be better off if I had plenty of time to recover from pregnancy and childbirth (like is provided in actually civilized countries) and breastfeed, and after that, not have our kids spend most of their waking hours with strangers. My husband had the bigger earning power, but we were also constricted by company policies -- he couldn't work part-time, which would have been ideal so that I could work part-time too. The result was that the full burden of providing income was on him, and the full burden of childcare (and the isolation that goes with that) was on me. It was stressful for him and depressing for me. It was also a risk for me, as it is difficult to re-enter the workforce at a self-sustaining level after so much time out of it. And it was the same for most of the people we knew. (A few had both parents working outside the home and that was its own bag of miseries.) The American work system/culture for families is terrible.
My grandfather 100% had WW2 trauma, and definitely took it out on his kids. My grandmother took care of him and the house and ran a seamstress business from her home, while my grandpa held 2 jobs. They didn't let my aunt go to college and expected them to get married out of high school. They're dead, but im still salty about it in behalf of my aunts.
Be salty about the trauma, too. The male equivalent of the tradwife has to be the way men are expected to experience war with no consequences to their mental or physical health. They both probably wanted their daughters to be looked after. At least, I can imagine how that might play out (that's not to say it's right, just to point out the toxic masculinity involved).
@yippee8570 I am too about that. As I mentioned, he took his emotions (mostly anger) out on my dad and his siblings. My dad never hit me, but he yelled similar to my grandfather. Like many greatest generation grandparents hard ass father but amazing grandfather. If I have kids, I hope I break the cycle.
Another issue with the tradwife thing is that they have such a zero-sum view. I’m a lawyer, I love power tools, and I’m pro-choice. But I also wear girly clothes and cook dinner for my husband and dream about having a baby. I can be feminine AND a feminist. One does not cancel out the other.
No, but people can also WANT to be a dependent and traditionally feminine tradwife. It's entirely valid. IMO feminism is about equality and choice, no NEED to break stereotypes to prove a point.
@@ZoeX87 This this this! I fantasize about being a submissive, dress-wearing 1950s-style housewife. My boyfriend and I have planned to get married and have babies for basically the entirety of our relationship. Most workplaces are stressful and overstimulating for me, and when and if my boyfriend makes enough to support us both, I'd be more than happy to stay at home. But that's just my silly little point of view, and I know that most people would not be happy in that sort of arrangement.
Tradwives always talk about wanting to be a "Proverbs 31 Girl," but then conveniently ignore verses 16-18 which clearly talks about working outside of the home and earning your own money.
"16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night."
🎯
They loooove to pick and choose.
Learned something new , Amen 🙏🏻✝️☦️🕊️
amén!! God also established an important place in society for women, Father God wants us to be a team with our husband 💖
That came to my mind too, when she was talking about the history of women working! 🙂 I love Scripture. 💕 (Also, I don't watch trad wives or have a Tiktok, so I can't speak on this trad wives trend at all.)
I’ve heard of a young tradwife who married right out of high school finding out that her husband of 10 years has been cheating on her the whole time. She wants to leave, but since she never went to college or got any work experience, she’s forced to stay with her cheating husband since she can’t make any money herself. Yeah, definitely not a life for me.
Geez that’s horrific!
This happened to my aunt
She's legally entitled to half of his assets after being married for 10 years. The odds are also high that she will be awarded primary custody of any children, since she will have already have been the one who mostly takes care of them. Child support and alimony is also likely.... Tell your friend to talk to a lawyer, most of them do free consultations. She definitely doesn't have to stay with him if she doesn't want to.
Yikes
That is an at fault divorce and it’s a 10 year marriage if she took it to court she’d most likely get half and alimony even if she had a prenup because she’s most likely hasn’t been working for the majority of her adult life.
I was sold this lie as a teenager, got married at 18 and stayed home. GUESS WHAT?! My husband started beating me and cheating on me. He resented my inability to work but wouldn’t let me apply to jobs. I literally had to escape when he was at work by breaking a window because he had started locking me in the house with no keys, cell phone, and no wallet. I left when I was 20 I’m 25 now and my life is just now starting to be normal again. “Traditional living” destroyed my self worth and gave me PTSD. This stuff is propaganda and it’s so dangerous.
So glad to hear you're out of that situation. Hope you're in a safe place now.
and then some men demand women to go back to this ......
That is not being traditional you were living an abusive life. The two are not equated. I’m sorry you were robbed of what it truly means to have a traditional marriage with a loving and caring husband.
its really not that deep
@@marvin2678 not that deep? Fuck outto here, male
I yearn to be a stay at home mom and that's why i fight for universal basic income, affordable childcare and reproduction rights.
This 👆
Same, before my partner became disabled I used to be the stay at home dad and I was really able to get close to my kids, our house was always clean, and I was able to have a better relationship with my partner, but now I have to work full time to keep things going so it's constantly a game of playing catch up on my days off. Sucks.
Love this!
Scandinavia says hello
Murdering your baby is the opposite of a reproductive right
Oh my god, the amount of people who come up to me at work to be like “oho I see you’ve gotten back into the kitchen/household” or whatever “just like women are meant to” is fucking abhorrent. For context, I’m a historian and experimental archaeologist, so I wear historical clothing and work in a historic site.
And then these guests get surprised when I talk about women’s work historically, and women’s impact on the economy, and how women are very much in the outer sphere.
And then these guys complain because I stifled their boners for traditionalism.
Anyway, all this to say, I had to explain what a tradwife was to my 65 year old supervisor because she didn’t understand a question we were asked
good lord. those kinda historical dress educational jobs are something i'm pretty interested in and this anecdote doesn't make me disinterested but i never thought about how this would totally happen all the time 😑 at least you can clap back at them with knowledge
I also work at an historic site in historical clothing, and I do “traditional women’s work” but in an historically commercial setting. I don’t think I have ever really gotten much tradwife kind of reactions from the public, probably because they see me doing quite physically demanding work. But I remember a home school mom making a comment about “people knowing their proper roles back then”. I bit my tongue because we were trying to promote a new program to the home schooling association but I unloaded when I got back to the staff room.
@@sidoniegabrielle269 I really do love what I do, and if it’s a field you’re interested in pursuing, I hope you have the chance to! Like everything, it’s not always what it seems to be on the screen/page. Clapping back would be more fun if I could curse at work
@@amyscott9381 oh boy I know that feeling!!! Once I was getting interviewed for a magazine (it was last minute and I didn’t have much of a say and it turned out to be a very fundamentalist publication- and it won’t happen again because thank god our pr team listened to us) and the final question was about like. Protestant values of the past and how they connect to our lives today.
Ma’am I’m Jewish.
Hey ladies👋 sorry if I'm oversharing, but I finished college a while ago and did an associates degree in History and Literature. I'm now going to university to continue History and another subject of choice but I got a lot of pushback from people i know. Like they think I'm ruining myself by picking History because they don't see it as a career and im second guessing myself ☹️ archeology does seem interesting and I'm looking for other areas in History to pursue for the future. Any ideas?
Trad wife content trend is either about signifying class (they’re wealthy) or grifting, I’m convinced most of them don’t really believe in it or they wouldn’t have a job making videos on the internet.
It's nostalgia for a time period that never actually existed
Bingo!!
aka: Fantasy!
MAGA basically
the mythic past! also one of the many tenants of fascist ideology
But it did happen, why else would they be reliving it 😂
Soooo these ppl are telling me to become dependent on a man while they support themself working in social media and making a income this way? am I getting that right?
exactly. they tell women to not make money themselves but make goooood money online. just bc u dont sit in an office daily doesnt mean ur ot working😂
Thanks for being sane. A trad wife recently showed on my dash board all "my toddler wanted a pb&j -" and she then proceeds to make the bread - 'jam' and 'peanut butter' from scratch. All while wearing a like robe with feathers on it.
As someone who has farm stock background it was baffling to behold.
Also - biblical heroines- Judith - widow - goes to the enemy general - gives him The Eye and all coy and stuff. Convinces him to send his men away- to not spoil the mood. Then cuts his head off and carries it out of camp.
She was a popular figure in rennaisance art.
I saw that video too
Nara Smith?
Ah Nara Smith. I guess her kids have to wait 4-6 hours to get their meals? What in the unhinged?
@@ed8329 its so weird, kids, especially toddlers and babies need food a lot so why is she wasting time making homemade stuff that’ll take hours of her time while her kids are probably starving, like just go to the store and get some food dude
lol I feel very called out… I married a welder and I stay at home with our child. Only, I’m not an anti feminist, submissive, trad wife extremist.
Then definitely don’t feel called out girl!! 😂❤
Hey live your best life!
Nah it was just funny you almost described me to a t. When you mentioned at least being a nail tech, you were so close- I’m a hair stylist lol.
The insane tradwives are out here saying everyone should live like this, no matter what, and that if you don't want that there's someone wrong with you.
That's the difference.
Can you imagine every accountant telling you that if you don't want to be an accountant you're causing the downturn of society? That's basically what tradwives are doing. They are out of their minds.
Then you’re not being called out. 😊
I like how term traditional wife reflects only a tiny period of time in the grand scope of what was in fact traditional. Traditional wife would go in the field with her husband with the baby in tow. No freaking staying at home. You gave birth? Oh cool, you are ready to work in the field.
@@Integrationist Small correction: women *and men* traditionally worked in agriculture. The amount of gender segregation depended quite a bit on how much staff you could afford. Pre-industrial farming was a lot more work-intense than most people today can fathom. Some chores were gender segregated (especially on big farms where there was a lot of men and women available for different chores), such as sewing, washing and cooking for women and idk being rounded up for military duty for men. But at the end of the day, getting a good harvest could be a life or death situation for you and your entire family, so if something needed doing and no one else was available then you better be doing it, regardless if it was gender appropriate.
@@Integrationist Well mostly. Every farm was a family business, of course you would be working with your husband and your in-laws. That's taken for granted in agriculture.
Unmarried women working as maids (at least in Sweden) were basically working on different farms to show off their wifing skills so they could hopefully marry some eligible bachelor on the farm, and they were extremely at risk of sexual advantages from any man at the farm since they'd generally be isolated from their own families and dependent on the owners of the farm.
That is nonsense 😆 imagine being segregated in a small English village where absolutely EVERYONE knew each other's business and anyone eligible was seen and often. Then at harvest time people probably arrived to help with various tasks from other surrounding towns and villages and more eligible men were seen and often. We would all be hopelessly inbred by your model. Although, that is royalty more than peasantry I think.@@Integrationist
someone's read some Hardy then 😂@@helenanilsson5666
When the harvest needs to get in before the hail comes, no one gives a single fuck whose hands are on the scythe.
When you are both a breadmaker and a breadwinner, that's called being a baker by profession.
I'm gonna become a "trad wife" and do all the trad wife things except I'll be married to a woman. The real trads will be so pissed, I'll be hilarious
Iconic!!
It would piss them off further if you had children (but that is for you and your wife to decide)
That's a true power move ❤
@sophieasha9069 to put more salt in the wound, make sure the children are not white
I've always said what i need most is a wife. I have a partner already, he can benefit from her too 😉 polyamory that's the real way to go
I want to be a tradwife from the 50s. But like, the 1350s. Work the farm with my husband, have a million babies, half of them die in infancy, and I die of disentery in my 40s.
Jokes aside, "tradwives" are just as focused on aesthetics, and doing exactly what they want as the women they criticize. And emulate a lifestyle that's a cultural artifact more than a proper standard to live by. I do live traditional gender roles in my marriage, but it doesn't look anything like the trad larping online.
trad larping LMAO
That first half has great copypasta potential.
My husband's ex boss had a traditional marriage. He was very vocal and proud about how his wife knows to have dinner ready, keeps the house spotless, and knows better than to ask him to help with the kids. He bragged about coming home and being pampered while sitting on the couch and acting like he's not part of his own family, which included 3 kids, one of which is autistic. He went out a lot, but she was never allowed to. They shared a FB account, nothing personal allowed for her. He criticized my husband for our more balanced relationship (my husband put up with toooo much at that job). Insert middle finger toward him here. Her reward for all this obedience and subservience was to find out he'd been banging her bestie for over a year. She was always snobby and rude to me, but I was still angry on her behalf. They're still together years later, BTW. 🤷♀
Ladies, take it from someone middle-aged who has seen a lot: Be in a trad marriage if it makes you truly happy, but make damn sure you have a safety net in case he decides one day that he deserves an "upgrade." (Ugh.) I've seen this too many times and the woman _always_ loses while he gets to live his best life without a second thought about you. Don't let another person hold all the cards in your life.
Trad-marriage? More like trap-marriage
🚨🚨🚨🚨
It is natural for a woman to achieve her self outside the home, including theater, art, science and sports. The home is a place for both men and women to live in, not a cage for women to be confined, confined and buried in the home. She is not born a housemaid or a nanny, nor is she the furniture of the house, nor a refugee in this world to be buried in it. Rather, she is born a human being with a mind, intelligence, passion, talents and great potential. Her nature is her right, duty and innate and natural need to develop and grow them, so that she advances scientifically and flourishes with her talents continuously in science, art, sports and politics... not to suppress, undermine and eliminate them. It is ignorance, nonsense and misogyny to say that her nature is to eliminate her natural and innate need to nourish her mind scientifically and to eliminate, suppress and deny her innate and natural need to develop her talents and potential, so that she does not invent, discover, or be an artist, painter or politician for the rest of her life, as if she were barren, without intelligence, without talents and without potential in science, invention and art... as if only men possessed the mind. And it turns into an invisible being, imprisoned and confined between walls to be a terrace that does not increase her knowledge or hope, only enslaves her and excludes her from social and political life. And when women are outside politics and without financial independence and without scientific progress, they do not make laws, and consequently their rights to scientific progress and prosperity are not encouraged with their talents and capabilities in science and art... meaning work and health... and this is oppression and respression.
I’m a stay at home mom and have been for 13 years. It wasn’t what I planned and did get a college education but then I had a son who is autistic and chronically ill and his appointments alone are a full time job. My husband made more so, it just made sense 🤷 There’s no submitting here and my husband helps a ton with housework and is a hands on dad. I love your trad wife parodies and obvi knew you weren’t going after just typical SAHM. Plenty of us SAHM are leftists and nothing at all like trad wives.
I'm a stay at home parent because I'm on the disability pension, so it was the default option for me! I'm definitely the metaphorically blue haired feminist.
I hear all these things about how trad wives get shamed for being sahms. My friendship group mostly consists of feminists. I have not ever once been shamed for being a sahm. Neither are they. They're being shamed for promoting compulsory gender roles and disempowering women.
See, when a conservative is a sahm she is a tradwife, when a disabled feminist is a sahm, she is a freeloader and lazy
I have a degree in nursing but am now a sahm because I have special needs kids that needed tons OT and other therapies which is already a full time job
Stopped working because I couldn't work remote and take care of a baby/toddler. Was only supposed to be for only a year but our kid is autistic too and just needs more support.
I was a stay at home mom when my children were infants/toddlers. I have a degree and worked before I had children, but dropping out and staying home with them was the right thing to do for our situation. We relied on whatever piddly government benefits we were eligible for. My hubby worked doing whatever jobs he could and while we never lacked for basics or shelter, we paid an enormous price in terms of financial stability that I don't think we'll ever get over. Even so, I would have happily remained a SAHM, except financial pressures and circumstances outside of our control forced me back into the workplace. Now, my hubby stays home to take care of the children. Hubby and I will consult each other regarding household stuff, but there is none of that submitting bullshit here. We are equals in this relationship, and having 3 daughters, it's vitally important that they know what a healthy relationship looks like so that if they decide to search for life partners, they don't fall for this "tradwife" propaganda crap
A quick note for historical context the GI bill benefited white men 99%. POC where systematically excluded from college benefits and housing. So there is an added layer of racism in desiring to go back to this time where women of color were always working, a lot of times for the white trad wives and where soldiers of color returning were not given equal access to benefits that they also fought and died for.
Thanks for adding this context! I appreciate it 👏
Exactly
I was looking for this exact comment. Aesthetically, trad wife content has a very pointed exaggeration of white ideals of femininity and white purity, that excludes its accessibility / relatability to non-white people. Historically, black women in the US have never had the luxury (let alone the choice) not to work. Feminist groups in the past were predominantly white and racist and actively disenfranchised black men and black women (by taking away black men's voting rights and sterilising black women or putting them on birth control without their knowledge, all in the name of "progress").
This is why we need to remember that feminism is INTERSECTIONAL. So many other factors play into inequality
citation needed
I was a farm wife for decades to a charming self centered narcissist. Besides the burnout and self esteem issues, I left with nothing but clothes. I have no retirement, social security, low tech skills, no resume etc.
If you want to be a SAHM at least have something to fall back on and money with only your name on it.
The "i ThOuGhT fEmiNiSm WaS aBoUt SuPpOrTiNg WoMeN" comments under your satirical shorts are from people who are being purposefully obtuse. They deserve zero attention or energy as they know very well what you mean and are being disingenuous. Their behavior has zero integrity.
BUT, great vid, we love you 💜
Thank you SO much! It’s always so disheartening to see those. I appreciate you!
I think one of the worst things is that this whole trad wife trend is deeply rooted in classicism, as in in order to be a trad wife and only focus on household and kids you need to be able to generate enough money with just your husbands income which sadly isnt even possible for many people yet they are shamed for not doing their best as mothers and caretakers.
On top of that, homemakers in the past actually relied on the labor of other women, if your husband made enough money for you to not also need to work that automatically put you in a strata where you were expected to have a housekeeper/ maid.
“Turn on your brain and don’t be an asshole” is an amazing line. Amen sister !
I love it when Tradwives describe what "femininity" is destroying, but really it's just capitalism
My thoughts exactly
Fr
You mean feminism is destroying. And it's not capitalism, it's people being suckers and just buying the cheapest thing or the thing that feels most good. Any free economy would do this, what you're effectively saying is that people don't deserve to make their own choices because those choices are stupid. How leftists can hold such contradictory beliefs as this is astounding to me
they're SO close
Haven't we always had capitalism in the US?
I’m a stay at home mom and the idea that I don’t “work” is hilarious 😂 I’m too an also bothered by the tradwife movement bc I think it’s trying to paint an unrealistic picture of what it looks like to be a wife and mother.
It’s not glamorous at all 😂 in reality it’s a lot of physical and emotional labor
Agreed
Im 27 and just escaped being a tradwife. I was brought up from a very young age to be a wife. "Clean your room, youll be a wife one day!" "Until you get married, you're your father's responsibility" and so on.
Then one day I had a 🤯 moment and realised i dont know who i am, what i want or even the many options i have in life. People dont realise how important your videos are. Tradwives are a serious problem
I am sorry for your experience. I hope you can find what you want in life and live your best life.
Oh my gosh! I thought the same! My mom was a stay at home mom and I was BRED to be a good little wife. My sisters haven’t received this treatment, but for me it was always “if you can’t do xyz, you’ll be a bad wife and no man will ever love you.” And now I struggle to do what I want to do and live life for myself because of it.
I mean, as a kid, you ARE your father's responsibility. If you get married, your husband is definitely responsible for you (just like you're responsible for him). I wouldn't say that's sexist or anything.
Not because I was raised to be a wife or anything but I had a similar mind blown moment when I realized I had been living my life on survival mode - via trying to make sure everyone else is always happy and I always be who others would want me to be - that I didn't know who I was either or really just how to be a person. Thanks to how much my family have judged me for things in the past I feel like I literally can't do anything without it seeming weird so just simply don't. My point being I know exactly how difficult it is to get out of those mindsets so I sympathize with anyone else stuck in a similar position.
Congratulations on breaking free!! 27 is still very young. What have you got planned for your life now?
When I was a teenager my youth pastor's wife would always lecture us girls about submitting to our husbands, doing everything they say, not having an opinion of our own, and that men know best. But all of the women in my church seemed pretty miserable with their husbands, and it was common knowledge that a lot of the husbands were cheating. So I noped the hell on that one. 😅
I think the point about tradwives making content and thus, in fact, working sounds eerily similar to the hypocrisy of Phyllis Schlafly, who campaigned against the Equal Rights Amendment despite having a masters degree. Why is it that defending a personal choice requires tearing down others for having that same choice?
It’s so funny to think my day in the life is actually pretty similar to a tradwifes
Phyllis had domestic help and a nanny raising her kids while she traveled across the country shaming other women for doing the same and actively campaigning to decrease access to childcare. Horrible woman.
Usually women like that want themselves to have rights, but they don’t want marginalized women, like the poor, POC, and sex workers to have those same rights, so they sacrifice their own rights just so that women they don’t like can’t have them either.
As a young girl all I ever wanted was to be a mom, but seeing my mom being a stay at home wife without any autonomy having to cater to a very controlling, demanding (but very loving) husband made me want to get an education and a career so I would never have to be “stuck”. My parents have been married for over 40 years but thankfully their marriage is nothing like mine. I have a masters degree, I stayed home for 5 years but now we both work full time. We have two kids in their tweens. Been married for 18 years, my husband loves making homemade bread, I like to clean because I like a neat home, he likes to eat so he cooks… he makes six figures so me working is a choice but a good one for our family, and for my sanity because despite loving kids and adoring my own, I need more…
I feel the same when I think about my parents, though there's also disability mixed in. Made me always want to have my own money and identity and not be stuck with someone ordering me around. But there's always a danger to become dependent, especially when having children or having health/employment struggles.
I love it how you justify your life choices by denigrating your parent’s choices. Surprise! Maybe both options are valid and maybe the fact that your parents had such a long lasting relationship was a sign of happiness and satisfaction not opression.
@@kellyjacobs4114 Or maybe they didn't have any other choice? The reasons can be varying. My parents had a very traditional marriage, but always encouraged me to study, get a good job and career and be financially independent. The reason was their mothers had to raise them on their own i poverty, one due to my grandpa dying young and the other one due to my grandpa leaving her and not taking responsibility for the kids. Both my parents knew how hard life could be, so when they immigrated and saw the options I could have as a woman, they made damned sure I used them. Not because they didn't want me to become a mother or wife, not because they hated traditional living, but because they loved me enough to want me to have life skills to take care of myself and be more comfortable than they were.
Jump a few decades and now I'm financially secure enough to buy a nice house and have a nice chunk of savings. My career is at the point where employers throw themselves at me and I can pick and choose how many hours and from where (home or office) I want to work. I don't have to kill myself working long, back breaking hours for minimum wage and can comfortably take care of myself and my family if need be. And I thank my parents every day for not falling for the traditionalist trap of thinking that being smart about your future is somehow an assault against religion, tradition and family.
@@Integrationist Why are you so salty a happily married and successful woman likes to work and didn't find the traditional lifestyle she grew up watching her parents practice unattractive? Weirdo behavior.
@@Integrationist Why shouldn't she hate marital submission? A healthy relationship is not about submission but about partnership and compromise. Sounds like she has a very good partnership with her husband where they respect each others needs and split duties accordingly.
And yes, why can't work be about feeling like she's doing something meaningful to her? Most people need something meaningful to do in their lives to feel good about themselves, whether it's working, having a certain hobby they're crazy about, having a family or all of the above. Otherwise people tend to get depressed and down on themselves.
"This woman does not work, she cleans, cooks, takes care of children..." uhm, sounds like work to me?
Yep! And meaningful work too.
Work without paychecks.
Not to mention that most “trad wives” weren’t actually doing the housework. They were paying Black women below minimum wage to take care of their kids and their houses
If they were paying them at all, let’s be honest.
They only bake when the camera is on.
Literally zero factual information to support this stayement
This
Trad wife: It sure is difficult having this *ungrateful* maid sweeping in front of me while I'm trying to relax 🤬
I’m a traditional wife but not a tradwife. Being a stay at home mom that homeschools our kids works for our family because we are business owners and don’t have debt after being married 15 yrs. But I don’t think everyone SHOULD do what I do. I really dgaf what anyone outside my immediate family does bc it doesn’t affect me lol tradwives give me the creeps.
You are one of the only women in these comments who be truly happy! These women do not understand that feminism has sold them a lie. They will never be truly happy like you will be, truly for filled as a women. Don't let these twisted women fool you into thinking you made the wrong decision in life. They will all soon realise it is them that has chosen a path against biology and nature. Sadness and lack will haunt them when it;s too late for them.
I’m a very religious SAH homeschooling mom of seven under seven, and love this video! What you see in those influencer tradwife videos isn’t real life. I live it every day.
Thankfully, I had parents who supported me in obtaining my BA and MS, but also supported me when I walked away from my career to care for my kiddos and have a large family.
The biggest issues I run into socially are comments from feminist friends saying that I “wasted” my education by quitting my lucrative job. AND comments from trad-wife friends who say I “wasted” money by attending college for seven years.
None of it has been a waste, people! I use my degrees every day when homeschooling my own kids and am so grateful my education went beyond 12th grade.
I’ve gotten to the point where I realize I’m never going to make everyone happy and that’s not my role anyway. I just need to focus on what’s best for myself and my family, and it’s okay if that looks different than what other women have chosen 🤷♀️
It’s too funny - whenever I hear sus people and podcasts that claim everyone should adopt the philosophy that men should work and women should stay home as is “tradition” - I’m just so like…traditional for who? 😂. All four of my great-grandmothers worked (maid, shoe factory worker, secretary, accountant). What fantasy past is this? 😂
Yeah people who say women traditionally stayed at home with children are delusional and have no understanding of history beyond watching an episode of Leave it to Beaver.
A rich white people past. Privilege is a requirement to the trad wife lifestyle.
THANK YOU. Can we also talk about the fact that for centuries, most non-white women ran a house AND worked outside the home, as that is what the economy dictated? Tradwives seem to just be about white ladies in pinafores making bread and loving nationalism.
I have no idea why people today think women in the past didn't work. My grandmother's, great grandmothers, great aunts, basically everyone worked. A lot. My mom worked like 5 jobs in education to support us. My grandmother was the first woman principle of a school (back in the 1930s) and my great aunt played piano at the White House in the Victorian era (she also did a ton of other things and never got married, so her father would escort her in Society.) My great aunt also lived with her woman "roommate" for the majority of her life.
I come from a matriarchal family. The leader of our family is almost always a woman. Right now, it's my mom. When I'm older, it should be me (if I ever leave the desert and stop being painfully introverted.)
All of the women in my family worked outside the home at one point, seamstressing, bookkeeping, secretarial work, etc. Honestly, I think many of the women preferred it to working in the home due to how they talk about it.
It's interesting because I'm a Californian (SoCal), and I grew up in a very liberal area in Norcal. I always have been told my whole life that my greatest dream should be to marry a rich man and have babies. As a little girl I wanted to be a doctor/scientist, but I have been told for years by older women, mentors, teachers, coworkers, relatives, that my greatest worth comes from a rich doctor/lawyer man supporting me and being pregnant. These trads who claim little girls are being "discouraged" from being stay at home mothers are bullshitters.
That is interesting. I grew up in a quite conservative area, and didn't dare to tell people that my main "what I want to be when I grow up" was a stay-at-home mom. The very clear message to me was "you're a smart girl, you're going to DO something with your life!"
Just because it hasn't happened to you doesn't mean it's bullshit....
30 year old so cal resident and I’ve literally never heard anyone encourage girls to do any of that. Not even in my Christian circles.
I grew up hearing the total opposite even from my Christian family members.
When Cher's mother told her to settle down and find a rich white man, Cher said "I am a rich white man." 👏👏
Women held society together in a world that men kept trying to blow apart
Trad Wives are so far right with scary conservatism -pick me's who are trying to set women back to the 1800s with no voting rights, no reproductive rights etc. It scares the hell out of me . Thank you for talking about this ! We forget that were was also propaganda for women to leave jobs in the 50s so men could have them back and that it was "unwomanly" to do these and couldn't be hired for equal pay or could own bank accounts.
This right here - I'll believe tradwives actually buy their own BS when they stop voting, as that is for menfolk only.
The irony of it though is that for many women these days, if you say "That is unwomanly" the more common response is "so what" or "anything women do is womanly"
Calling the American revolution “men doing random shit” is suck a fucking power move and fucking iconic
😂😂💀
@@tylerbenderr I’m going into college next year as an anthropology major and this is the energy that I’m going to bring to any paper I have to write omg
I was a stay at home mom for 12 years, right out of college freshman year. I loved it thoroughly, and tried to embrace "submission ", but ultimately that's what drove us apart, that and figuring out religious b.s. didn't work for my own development anymore. Yep, i totally understand being married with children young, with no education back up, and splitting up from the provider husband. It's hard, very, very hard.
In the 40s,my great grandmas husband died. They had 3 children. My great grandma was a baker, and ended up making a career out of this and supporting her kids and then herself for the rest of her life. My grandma worked a part time job while my dad was growing up to help support the family. That’s a traditional housewife and woman
I'm a woman who longed to be a trad wife and blamed my feminist mother for ruining all my plans. I love the concept of being a traditional wife. What I love even more, was your break down of the trend and way of expressing your opposition to several aspects of it without being mean. Thank you. Great content.
Thank you for watching!!
You are f*cking weird 😂
The version of tradwife that are being pushed has NEVER been the reality. Im tired of them too.
I highly recommend the book "The Making of Biblical Womanhood" by Beth Allison Barr. She's a scholar with a doctorate in Medieval and Church History, and her book was so eye opening in terms of how powerful and important women were a super normal part of Christian culture through the Medieval ages. It was really post-reformation times that things began to shift towards Christian patriarchy. Dr. Barr also has a super unique perspective as her husband used to be an SBC pastor but basically got booted from their church for believing that there was a biblical case for egalitarian leadership. Great read for any of my fellow Christians out there who also feel like complementarian views don't fit with how Jesus treated women. ALSO she talks through some of the verses (especially Paul's) that are often used to keep women down, and that there are very very different ways they can be interpreted.
I’m interested!!!
(seconded! that was a really interesting book!)
Yes, I also highly recommend reading this book! It was such a good read.
Thank you! Modern day American Christianity is so terrifying to me that I don’t identity as Christian anymore. I tell people I believe in God instead because of how radical and scary the American Christian has become
I'll check it out! I get angrier than I can explain at the current state of the religion and especially the men who constantly preach absolute sexism. Also I remember being very young and asking my distance cousin (a priest) why women couldn't be priests and he basically just said because the Bible said so? I could go on and on and on about my thoughts but I have a feeling you get it.
I’m a sahm wife and mom of three kids. The lifestyle of putting family above everything and working inside the home is so much easier and peaceful. But I think the type of husband you have is what makes the lifestyle amazing or not. Shout out to all the awesome husbands and men who make this life possible.
Well, I hope for you that your husband stays healthy so that y'all have an income for the rest of your lives then. And that he stays with you and won't trade you in for a younger model once that opportunity arrives. Laying your entire life into someone else's hands, that you have zero control over, isn't for me but y'all stay safe out there.
@@xxromanovaxx6682 he has life insurance and 401k. We are both on deed of the house that’s paid off so I’m confident I will be fine. I have a degree I can fall back on Incase I need a job. He’s a quality guy and we started out as best friends and still are so I’m not worried about being traded in. 20 yrs later he’s still the rock of our family
@@xxromanovaxx6682 my mom was a sahm and when we left my abusive sperm donor she started her own cleaning business to provide for us, and make sure she was there for me when I needed it (I was a very sickly child). She bought and owned two houses at a point. Later on she got training in medical transcription and worked from home for a long time. My best friend was a sahm, left her psycho husband, and now has her own massage therapy business so she can continue homeschooling their special needs son - and child support helps. I could list many other examples. Nobody has to stay stuck, people can learn and grow and find a way. It would be the same if you had a lucrative career and then suddenly wound up disabled. Nothing in this life is 100% certain, and eventually we all have to adapt and change.
I'm obsessed with tradwives rn, I find it so fascinating because like a lot of people, I love homely things like baking, and nesting, and looking after my kids.
I do find it so interesting how women so invested in the importance of women's roles can be so antifeminist, when capitalist society values parenthood so little, and there is an entire school of thought of feminism which advocates precisely for recognising how needed the role of motherhood is (maternalism).
I also wanna say how incredibly elitist this is, most household in this economy cannot live on a single income.
Preach ! "Tradwife" lifestyle only works if your husband is rich or you have rich parents who provide financial stability.
Agreed. Many couples, including my husband and me, both need to work in order to meet basic needs. He wants me to stay home (and I'm not against it), but I understand that we aren't at that phase right now.
Best rebuttal is, "In this economy?!"
can we blame Simpsons?
@@GalinaEv The Simpsons actually had a whole musical number about how the middle class is pretty much gone now and nobody can live like Homer and Marge anymore. And considering how much tradwives worship 50s aesthetic, I'd actually be more inclined to blame what Simpsons was satirizing. You know, stuff like Leave it to Beaver and Father Knows Best.
Sometimes i look at my own culture and how different things were for women and it destroys this idea of a universal concept of femininity and a "woman's place". Tradwife grifters could never be a traditional Inupiaq wife and live up to those expectations and responsibilities. Not one of them could cook over an oil lamp, sew mukluks as often as they need to be replaced out of skins they tanned themselves, gentle parent their children including infant potty training, trap, fish, crab, climb sheer cliff faces to get food out of everyday storage, bathe their children in nothing but oil, delouse their husbands and kids, or even handle the idea of having two husbands, let alone being the athletic equal of at least one
Women from your culture sound very cool!
@@Valeria-sx7uv they are ^-^ they'd historically even wear their toughness on their faces as the traditional coming of age chin tattoos were very painful and thus a show of endurance (the thicker the lines, the more pain she could withstand). I'm very proud to descend from them.
my great grandmother was the main breadwinner of the family after great grandpa suffered a debilitating accident. She would come home from the textile mill and he would spend the day making pot-roasts and testing the wine.
The reality is that being a tradwife in a sustainable way is a pretty privileged choice to be able to make, and that inherently makes it a joke to peddle it to people while also monetizing it
And the talking points about the "negative" aspects of choosing to be independent are caused by late stage capitalism, but we dare not address these things directly, as tradwives specifically benefit from the oppressive structures in place :)
it is absolutely so privileged. there is absolutely no way me and my fiance could financially be able to have a child right now, let alone have a child AND one of us quit to take care of it full time???? how in the HELL do these people afford that shit. that type of comfort knowing you can survive off of 1 income is not a luxury many have. if one of us loses a job, we'd be finding another as fast as possible in order to pay our bills
💯💯💯 Not sure if they're just really, really dumb and naive or if they're purposely misrepresenting reality.... Based on the fact the big ones have monetized their weird little crusade, it looks like the latter. Either way, it's not a good look.
@@amberisradone option is military or oil rig. They pay well but have low or no educational barriers
@@xletragedyx yeah that's true
Yes, even the 1950s house wife they are trying to portray was largely a myth. These people think advertisements and movies were somehow reality when they were made to sell you things or entertain you, so of course they are more picturesque. They are really just glamorizing being at least upper middle class.
you did so amazing on everything! the baking, the churning, the asking for help when ur arms hurt, the video all of it was A+
Ah thank you thank you!!
I loved it too. I was about to give tips on raising the bread, but then your bread came out perfectly!
Ok, so I’m 53 and my husband of 21 years passed away a year and half ago. He was diagnosed with esophageal cancer and passed within a year. So very quickly. Due to my own previous health issues, I was a stay at home wife. We never had children because of my health issues but I DID do everything around the house. Which I did not mind because he took really good care of me and was very respectful. When he passed away, he left me everything; life insurance, 401k, pension. If he hadn’t set me up the way he had, because I have no “real” skills, I would have been screwed. I definitely agree that women should have a way to support themselves if anything were to happen. Because like I stated before, if he hadn’t made sure I’d still be taken care of after his passing-screwed. Period.
Women have always hussled. It could be as a seamstress, maid, head of household, tutoring, nannying etc. The modern version of that is various MLMs and content creators.
That's called a job. MLM is a scam.
Yeah but today they you to thrive for a career. We cannot compare working today with back then
Prostitution is the oldest profession on the planet.
My mom got out of work (a very good paying one) to be a stay at home mom, sure it went fine the first couple of years as my father did act like a provider but all that changed sooo quickly. My father decides he doesn’t want to provide anymore bc my mom “wants to drain him from his money” and “he has provided for enough years. Now it’s been 2 years we’ve been fighting to get a decent child support for me and my brother, my mom can’t easily work bc of how long it’s been and my father doesn’t even take responsibility on anything (we’ve survived so long bc my mom did have savings and sold a lot of her stuff, most women I’ve met give up). If you want to be a traditional wife, SAVE MONEY, work from home! Have a plan bc nothing prepares you for this! Taking care of children and a household is a job too, you deserve your own money and independence too
Good lord, Arya was so painfully close to identifying the real problems in her tradwife sob story. Literally all her grievances are the result of the late-stage capitalist hellscape we're living in. Where the hell is the feminism in her scenario??
Trad Wives and Boy Moms are Pick Me Girls that got married and had kids: CHANGE MY MIND
LOVING your longform content! First viewer on this vid, can't wait to watch all of it!
Ahhhh I just love you!!!!! Let me know your thoughts ❤
"Being in debt is normal" is much more a criticism of capitalism than it is of feminism. She kind of stumbled into a good point, and then blamed it on women instead.
The irony of these influencers making money from brand sponsorships from companies that have female employees!
Hahahaa true
That's what bothers me most, they are promoting this 50s myth of looking cute in a petticoat while the husband goes to work, but actually they are working as instagram/tiktok influencers. They are playing into the male fantasy of having this submissive woman that is totally dependent on the husband, always friendly, never bored, upset, or angry. None of these girls is over 50 so they don't know how it's going to work in the long term, but they are still promoting it to young girls as the solution to everything - because obviously it's their job.
My grandma has worked all her life, but only "women's jobs" which weren't paid well. My other grandma worked only part time as my grandfather earned well, but she would have loved to have her own business which she couldn't do as a woman back then. The 50s weren't a great time for women and I am glad that I don't need to depend on a man to live my life.
@@rillo806 You don't understand my post
@@rillo806 no, that's a completely different discussion. I guess you meant to respond to someone else.
@@KK-rj7ij wow my bad.
it is literally a 1950's ad,those women never existed. They are an archetype. it's all a lie.
I had people try to tell me I would be a tradwife because I got married at 24 (not too young to get married btw). Jokes on them, I work full time, make 70k a year + a VA stipend monthly (1.7k a month), I have my own hobbies, friends, and Im not gonna have kids. My husband doesnt want kids either. Being married and childfree is great. I know why people are not a fan of marriage or having kids. I thought I wouldn't get married at all. But I'm married and still working and have my own life. My life hasn't changed much since I got married.
I live in Hungary, here maternity leave is 2 years, but most women go back to work earlier cuz in these 2 years you only get 70 percent of your salary. I was at home with my girl for 1.5 years, then she went to daycare. I did not feel guilt for a minute. She loves it, it's good for kids to be around similar aged fellas
Good choice! My parents had our grandparents watch me and my sister during the weekdays until I was... idk, 5? Something like that, and it actually stunted my social development a bit since we lived out in nowhere and had such limited social interactions. (I got better eventually, but not having social skills on par with my peers sucked ass, especially since at that age I had no clue wtf I was doing wrong)
It was a very convenient solution in the moment, and I'm sure that my parents thought they were doing us a favor since we loved our grandparents so much, but humans are social animals and we're supposed to have more people around us than just a small family unit.
Cope
I grew up in a coastal town and the older people were very positive about women having a job or a financial plan b. Why? Because, as he quote goes, "there are three types of people: the living, the dead and the ones who are at sea."
With a husband at sea, decades ago, you had to work, either with him or by yourself because, yup he could come back and make bank, and then he'd go at sea again this time with your oldest in tow. Or maybe you'd learn that he was dead by the time the boat came back and then what?. Or maybe he traveled for trade and, bam, he was taken as prisoner in the war and you were never told. Or maybe he was on land, building boats and a big piece of wood falls...
These tradwives spit in the face of all the work the past generation of women did so we could all have better life conditions. It's women rights, better worker's rights, better living conditions... The dream was a society were you had a better chance to both be alive and work or not and take care of the children in an appeased society. Capitalism chewed that up but no... bad women bad...
Bingo! The cost of education, government, inflation, corporate greed…etc are the problem. You can be both a good mother and a working woman! Never limit yourself to only one.
Another thing: men will badly mistreat you if you’re a stay at home mother. There are so many people who have had every dime snatched out of their bank accounts and left penniless with their children after he ran off with his mistress. So please have a back up, have a rainy day fund and some hustle on the side, better yet make him pay you.
Not all men stop generalizing people.
Honestly, your long-form content is very great and even informative!! Plus your voice is super pretty
Omg thank u so much!!!
“This woman does not work. She stays home and cooks, and cleans, and takes care of the kids”. That’s not work?
The original Rosie the Riveter image is of a super buff women showing off her biceps at the plane factory but women who were taught they had to look feminine did not like this look and so the Rosie the riveter feminine version was born. I highly recommend looking up the "The untold story of the iconic Rosie the Riveter poster."
Anyway, I really enjoyed your rant and agree with you.
I’m excited to look into that! Thank you!!
The thing about being a trad wife in a religious context is that - at least in the christian doctrine - women are told to work. Like sure there's a bunch of stuff about child rearing, but there's also commandments to work the farm and watch the finances and help your spouse. Literally everything about trad wifery is just made up from watching 50s coffee advertisements and thinking people were actually like that.
You just said the same thing as her.
Working the farm and working the finances are working at the home. The farm is the home, home us where they kept their money.
Feminist just living in their echo chamber lol
In my opinion- What really pisses me off about ‘Trad Wives’ is that my mom is a working single mom, and my ‘father’ is so incompetent that he can barely keep a job let alone support his kids. So when I hear trad wives saying you must be a trad wife and not work, it sort of pisses me off internally as sure- it would be ideal if we could all just stay home with our children/parents and have the luxury of having a partner who can support both of you- however thats just basically impossible these days. And submitting to your partner and letting them choose for you is just a stupid idea most of the time, as this could most likely lead to abuse or things like that and taking care of your partner should not be your job as they could grow heavily dependent on you.
Okay I LOVE this video! But as a Roman historian whose thesis was on gender and sexuality in the early Empire I want to add some context.
1. While women could be engaged at very young ages and marriages were legally not allowed to take place until age 12 for girls and 14 for men through much of the period, young teen marriage mostly applied to upper class (equestrian or senatorial class) women and even most of those women were first married in their late teens, depending on the timeframe in Roman history. Lower class women were less likely to be married so young. With the rise of Christianity, women were typically married a bit later, but this wasn’t a huge change for many classes.
2. Married women absolutely could not sleep around in terms of Roman adultery laws, but stoning or being killed due to adultery was very very uncommon throughout the majority of Roman history, though legally okay. Divorce was super easy and super common in the Roman Empire before Christianity (even easier than today), so it was more likely she’d be divorced and would face social consequences rather than judicial ones. Married men could sleep around with any other UNMARRIED woman who was not under her father’s potestas aka household, such as women enslaved to him, sex workers, etc., but if he slept with another married woman, he was committing adultery and could technically also be killed by that woman’s husband or father (again, not super common).
So early Christianity did make an impact on women’s life in Rome due to increased agency for women in the religion, but other religious mystery cults (aka secret religions devoted to one god/dess, such as Isis) also offered women much more religious agency. Rome wasn’t a great time to be a woman, but it was better than the Greek city-states or Hellenistic period, and women could inherit property, divorce if her husband was shitty, and become quite wealthy (even independently once her father died). For a great source on all this, check out Women’s Life in Greece and Rome by Lefkowitz and Fant! ❤
(Also totally agree that Jesus would have been a blue-haired liberal-his teachings were radically feminist for the time)
I've noticed on TikTok there's a big trend of people pretending to be something they're not
Whether it be tradwives, men's advocates, relationship experts, or any number of things, the only thing that matters is getting as many subscribers as possible to raid the TikTok creator fund. It's kind of depressing.
2:56 watched a couple of your vids and shorts and wasn't totally sure where you were coming from... until this moment.
subbed. glad to be here.
side note on the butter: shaking it in a mason jar is so time consuming and tiring. hand/stand mixer is the way to go
Do a longer version woman! I loved it, just like you I am also speaking actively against these Tradwifery and will continue to do so. I just discovered you and you are awesome, but you definitely need to do a longer video.😘
That’s so sweet! I’m taking that note because this was honestly way longer but I got insecure and cut TONS of it out ❤️❤️❤️
i would watch a 3 hour video from you, i love your vibe and how you share your thoughts! Please make longer videos if you want to!
The women throughout history who were able to be “tradwives” were rich women and solidly upper-middle/solidly middle class and thus could afford to raise kids and survive on just their husbands incomes.
For most of history, the rest of us women had to clean and managed these tradwife womens houses and raise their kids and cook for these tradwife women’s families and wash and sew their clothes. Then 99% of the remaining women worked in factories, worked as governesses and teachers, worked as nurses, helped out our families by working on our families’ farms and businesses for free. A couple of us lucky ones got to make a living off of our minds by being writers and journalists and art.
I don’t get where staying at home as a wife and mother was ever the norm - the vast majority of women had to work day in and day out both inside and outside the house for the last couple of hundreds of years without our work ever truly being noticed, acknowledged or focused on.
I had a former friend who did the marry young and stop working/ getting an education. Not a tradwife just kind of lazy and spoiled (had a cleaning person, didn’t cook etc). She was pretty miserable toward the end of our friendship, was cheating with his friend but would not end the marriage because basically there would be no one to take care of her and she had no skills.
That was a fantastic commentary and very funny! Hey, guess what? I married a %3 dude, he's a tradesmen. Can take care of us on one income, even before we moved to a more affordable area, when I stopped working outside the home. We're expecting our first now. My life during my career resembled what these influencers are fronting. You don't have to stop your career or education to bake bread, have a garden, or acquire handy "traditionally feminine" skills. I love the HARD WORK I put into my garden and baking. I am not a "trad-wife." To me it looks like dress up, marketing, and fronting. If you want ACTUAL inspiration, ideas, and influences in "traditional living" I highly recommend following gardeners, homesteaders, knitters, etc. Newsflash, "traditional living" has me decked out in Carhartt more than anything.
A large part of the reason I stay home now is I worked for seven years, 5 being a carrier field. Three of that being "a man's job" in that field, and I padded my savings like crazy. The trades in our area are a good living, but my nest egg is what will put us into our first home. Waiting for this life was painful and I dodged a lot of nasty men seeking "house/trad-wife & mother" trying to tear me apart. I was resigned to the possibility or remaining single until my husband and I found each other. While I did not go to college, my carrier required licensees and certifications that I could get back, or use as experience jumping into another field. Heck, I could jump right back into my old field with just office duties and not need a license. Whether we have girls or boys, I would highly encourage them to get training, licenses, cert's, even college education, to gear up and save up. I would love to raise them with skills they can turn into careers, especially ones that can be done remotely or with dedicated space at home or a local business. I would love for them to have a good marriage and children if that's what they want, and to always have the means to support their families. "Tradwife" is a scam. The life we lead as a young couple, is reality. The reality is women work hard, have valuable skills, generate/save significant income for their families, and lay the groundwork for the next generation. Women are awesome.
My mom is a traditional wife now but she worked and earned money before quitting work to become a SAHM.
The "traditional" aspects of the lifestyle were initially roles that upper class and upper middle class women in the 1800s. Working class families basically always had women working alongside their husband's.
I’m not a trad wife or a wife, but girl fresh homemade bread when done right is waaaaaaaay better than store bought bread. You didn’t add enough salt that’s why it’s bland and it needed more time to rise so it wouldn’t be lumpy and would have a lighter texture
people really be confusing wanting to not grind 24/7 and to be free from capitalisim to actually do things that make them happy with wanting to strip your rights away. Like no brenda,you don't want to go back to the time where your husband could beat you and you couldn't even have a bank account,you just want to catch a fucking break.
"Women want... to be able to decide for themselves what they want."
It's crazy how that sentence would get you called woke by some.
@@harperscorner As woke as George Eliot!
Lmfao oh the irony.
Omg i was in my cast iron group, and i swear this chick made a troll post pretending to be your tradwife character.
Tbh i think i could be happy living a stay at home life, id want a couple million in a dividend account first though. People assume what you have right now is forever but people get divorced, people become disabled, people die.
Ive heard from so many older women who work menial jobs, that they did the housewife life, or they quit their job to care for kids. Then something happens and they don't have a safety net.
The world is not forgiving to those who don't plan
omg i’d be terrified to be a SAHM. i know so too many house wives whose husbands either died or left them
I'm a tradwife and I love it. I will never judge another woman for choosing a different life than mine, and I cannot understand how some women can just completely tear down other women. So sad.
Been following your shorts for a while for the van life, almond mom, and trad wife content. After watching this video, I am looking forward to more long form content and will be visiting former videos of yours!
Im also so annoyed by people like that saying „I was born in the wrong generation“, and that coming from all genders , like be thankful you can choose what you do and can be safe while working at home or being a house wife
Imagine watching capitalism destroy wages, forcing both parents to work, and you blame feminism
Tradwives using choice feminism to defend themselves from criticism is really something. You aren't practicing choice feminism if you don't think women should have choices.
But also -- as someone with a passing familiarity with actual farming it's very funny to me how often tradwife content idealizes farm wives. It's some real 'Marie Antoinette playing in her model farm' shit.