Goodness! I did not expect my little comment to spark a whole video! Your thoughts were so interesting to hear, and I think you’re right to emphasise both the play and quiet aspects of this need. It’s one of the things my children have taught me - when they are engaged in play, be it quiet or boisterous, they are fully present in the moment, and I think it’s that groundedness in the present that makes it such a valuable experience for adults too. One suggestion for the play element is to dance! Especially when no one is watching. Or I dance with my kids who love to put silly songs on and always want me to join in. Loving all these reflective videos - thank you for sharing. ❤
I am glad that you shared your thoughts because I had previously listened to an episode on the Mel Robbins podcast, where she and her guest spoke about anxiety being the younger you lacking something or giving you a warning. Both what they discussed, and you said, made a lot of sense to me and has been helping me manage negative thoughts since.
its like when you're at a party and go to the bathroom and youre suddenly alone and its quiet, and you realise how much the party was taxing you even if it was fun. Sometimes your whole life is the party and you gotta have like some bathroom time away from it.
Another creative, hands-on activity is what my family calls "cuts." Grab a few magazines and a pair of scissors, flip through the magazines, and cut out any pictures and phrases that you like. Usually the intent is to arrange and paste these cuts into a personalized birthday card for someone, but it's very freeing to do it with no expectations and a kind of aimlessness. You end up with a spontaneous low stakes mood board. You can save really good ones in a scrapbook or photo album, and the process is both fun and super relaxing.
Not sure if it feeds my inner child, but gardening brings the type of quiet you’re speaking of. A time where you can completely turn off the thinking mind and just dig and plant and grow things.
My favorite non-craft play is spending time with my cats, even if it's just watching them do their little cat antics. They make me to slow down and pay attention to something that's not a screen, especially when they sit on my laptop while I'm trying to work (lol), and I'm always grateful for the forced breaks they give me.
I was going to comment the exact same thing!!! I love paying attention to my cats and I truly believe it’s the best possible thing for my inner child. Side tangent, as someone who’s not a native English speaker, I just noticed how loaded the phrase “paying attention” is especially in the context of that video.
I recently went on vacation in Iceland and while I was there it occured to me that as adults we often stop learning things just for the sake of learning them. The vacation sparked an interest in glaciers and volcanos and rocks, and I'm going to learn all about them without intent to do anything structured with that information. Just knowledge for the sake of knowing cool stuff.
This feels like some classic HLP introspection and I am here for it. Good timing too. I just went to my first Quaker meet. Everyone warned me the silence would be hard, but it actually wasn't. It was refreshing and I think you touched on why in this video. I've also started asking my inner child "what hurts" because from what I can see when children act badly, they feel badly
Sadly where im from we dont have public libraries, only universities and you have to be enrrolled to even enter them. 😢 We used to have many,but after the floods of huracaine Maria here in Puerto Rico, most public buildings and property got damaged, specially books
@@thesonorista7853 I feel it depends on the time of the day or week, if there’s any children activity taking place obviously it’s less quiet. But also visiting a library in the quiet hours is difficult for people who have a full time in-person job, compared to people who are self employed/retired/otherwise not tied 8h a day to a workplace. My father used to go to the library next to his office during lunch break or before going home, but they were a 5min walk away, and they closed late on thursdays (8:30PM).
My Mom's greatest wisdom - yelled at my sib and I all during our childhood - "Just go outside!" The purest play for me is mooching around in the garden. Maybe pruning or weeding, maybe collecting some leaves and flowers into a vase, maybe just looking at what has changed as the seasons progress, maybe noticing who else (birds? bugs?) is busy in our shared space. The growing world, the ultimate anti-screen.
My adult self is always saying, what is the goal here? What are we accomplishing? What else is on the list? Looking at those stock images of dress-up and painting ... made me tear up a bit. Where did that self go? Those kids aren't thinking about goals or results, they're just having fun. And I consider myself a creative person! I'm going to dig my easel and paints out of the closet and have a playdate with my inner child.
8:04 singing, dancing or playing an instrument for nobody but yourself! I love to play songs in my car and just sing when I’m all by myself. I don’t care about sounding good or impressing anyone. I also like to play freestyle on my guitar. Allowing my inner child to play any notes or chords my heart desires is such a free and joyous feeling. I know it’s not quiet, but as someone with ADHD, this strategy of letting go with music and dance really helps.
I was feeling anxious and a little stressed when I started watching this video. Then when you started talking about how many of us went to the library more as children, I took a moment to throw my mind back to the libraries that I went to as a child. I paused the video, closed my eyes and visualized them. The outside, the inside, the children’s section… the spot where my favorite books were. I thought about my very favorite library and the happy feelings I had there. By that time I was completely calm. Thank you for the thoughtful video! ♥️
I mean this in a loving way, I would 100x rather watch your face while you talk to us vs stock videos. Part of the reason I like your videos is because of how wonderful your presence is. It’s a shame to interrupt it
You could close your eyes and just listen without the visual distractions. I actually liked the way she put in the stock videos. And her wonderful voice stays with us all the time. I'm very grateful she doesn't use music.
As a professional artist with extensive training and goals around art making. I'm so envious of your description of drawing without ego... I'll have to stick to dancing while no one is watching as my outlet for these feeling.
I am in exactly the same situation and have been thinking exactly that while she was talking about drawing. But I've also been trying to just let myself sketch freely more often, to try to get loose in unbridled flow of creativity, because that's what brought me initially into the art world. Not the goals and achieved results, and skills, but just the immense joy of just drawing. I miss it often.
I have sooo many friends who really struggled to be able to just Make for themselves. The Joy and Magic of colours and strokes. A lot of them who were able to recover from art school/professional art syndrome begun by drawing really silly things, memes, silly fanarts… some used abstract/non-figurative techniques to just play with colour without having to focus on Making It Look Perfect. Maybe try both, and more ? If you’re a digital artist, using traditional tools might be a great way to reconnect, too. Good luck :)
Not a professional artist but someone who's a hobby artist with lots of goals... yeah. I struggle to make what I want to make and just let go. it's so hard not to get super involved in the details instead of enjoying the process.
I went to the dentist this week and brought Julia Hungry with me. It was such a delight to be able to absolutely gush about you to the dentist who politely asked me "Hey, what are you reading, is it good?" Am I into poetry? "I'm trying to be!" ❤
There was a study that concluded that we need about 42% of the day in rest. And oftentimes when people don’t take the time, the time takes them, and in very frustrating ways. (Sleep procrastinating is a common manifestation) Also : this is an average, some need wayyy more. Artists for example need a lot more time doing « nothing » because the act of creating something is so draining, and already takes a lot of space continuously in the background of the brain. Also : I LOVE the video editing. I love to see grown-ups being silly. Especially when the message is so serious and important !
Doing puzzles is currently my favorite way to play. It completely relaxes me, I can do it for hours without thinking about my phone 😊 For me it also stops the urge to browse
I agree. I do mini puzzles so I have the sense of accomplishment the same night and don't need much real estate to do them. So relaxing with music or an audio book on too.
It is not uncommon for me to take a break from intense work and say, "Excuse me, I'm going outside to look at a tree for a few minutes." It's a joke amongst my colleagues, "Oh, Espie's gone for a few minutes, she must be looking at a tree somewhere." At home, I love to dance and sing to loud music. It is so freeing and silly and gets movement into the mix. When I am driving alone in my car, I travel in silence. My morning coffee ritual is enjoyed in stillness and silence. Everyone in the house knows this is my quiet time. The dogs are even still and quiet during this time.
This is actually huge part of meditation: to calm your "monkey mind" by just being in the moment, just washing dishes, just commuting. Nothing new for me, but love your take on any subject 🧡
My version of this is not always pure silence. Growing up I inherited my mum's collection of audiobook cassettes. I basically listened to a handful of stories on repeat through my childhood. Audiobooks used to be so expensive so I don't think I ever got anything new. Now I still listen to a lot of audiobooks, but when I need to be soothed my go-to is always a re-listen to a past favourite. I can choose to get lost back in the story, but when it's something very familiar it also gives my mind space to roam and the story becomes just a peaceful, safe beat accompanying my thoughts. This, whilst on a walk is often just the thing to pull me back from whatever spiral threatens.
I like doing this with TV shows I've already watched - putting a past episode on the background isn't as distracting (whereas I usually drop everything else I'm trying to do when watching a new episode lol)
Published author!! I cannot stop hearing that and saying yes she did it!! Celebrate it! Love it! And thank you for all your introspective, helps me grow and know myself more!!
Not having constant stimulation has been a recent goal of mine. My husband broke his leg last October and I needed constant stimulation to get through that without falling apart, but now that he’s healthy and active again I’ve been working on allowing myself to be comfortable with silence and boredom. It’s okay and even important to be bored because that’s when I’m my most creative self.
Really liked your comment about art and the ego. I find that painting not from my own picture in my mind but from an existing reference photo is more of a break from the ego for me. I have to surrender to the true shape and form of things as they look, with no intrusion from my mind saying "this is how a train looks" or "this is how a sink looks". We get attached to the idealized forms of things and forget to question our beliefs. My best art teacher used to say "paint what you see," and what hard advice that is to follow sometimes! But I try and trying is very rewarding and relaxing beyond expectations.
I have recently been working on doing things for solely myself. Not motivated by anyone else, only choosing to spend time and effort doing the thing because I want to. I'm pretty good about play with other people, but I am astonishingly bad at doing things only because I want to! I'm still finding what these things are, but the more I do it the better it feels already.
I don’t remember where I first heard this, but apparently one way to get in touch with the inner child is to live your “perfect 9 year old day”. I have a friend working through some early life trauma, and his favorite thing to do as a child was play Lego. He recently, as a man in his thirties, went and bought Legos for the first time since he was a child and spent the evening playing with them, and the joy and lightness that brought to him, when he finally let go of adult frameworks / self expectations and just played, was beautiful and very moving to witness!
so i have dissociative identity disorder, so the “inner child(ren)” is very literal for me. letting your inner child (whether they be metaphorical or literal child alters in DID) play and just *exist* as a child with no judgement is so important i’m still a sucker for playgrounds. i’m lucky to live in a city with a bunch of playgrounds within walking distance. (i’m also lucky i’m still young and look enough like a young teenager so it’s not questioned). i usually go to the playground by myself when nobody else is there so it’s also quiet
last year on an excursion I got a chance to rock on a swing constructed to carry even adult plus size person. that was so much fun! I enjoyed it to the point of making myself dizzy from all the swinging)) I didn't realize how those simple childish experiences are missed in everyday adult seriousness.
Ooo you’ve made me realize I actually have playtime every day! I go wild with stationary, pens, creating planner spreads, notebooks and practicing beautiful writing techniques. I wake up super early just because I want time to have fun
I work with adolescents and am confronted daily with the massive struggles this new young generation faces when it comes down to being with oneself and reflecting without ever-present technology. Similarly, my mother in her 70s is unable to be still and silent. Perhaps it's a type of personality, a reflection of one's mental health, a manifestation of discipline and will, or maybe it's generational. In any case, it's a topic I ponder all the time. And some of the time I ponder it with my phone in my hand : )
This video was exactly what I needed. I AM a specialist in anxiety and healing broken parts of ourselves (I'm a licensed therapist) and found this channel during my own maternity leave a little over a year ago while trying to heal from my childhood raised by hoarders before passing overconsumption to my daughter. I find children's spaces (museums, playgrounds, etc) SO OVERSTIMULATING when we're there on weekends or other busy times and just this morning broke down at the MN children's museum while visiting family because I. Just. Could. Not. I left terrified that my own issues with sensory stimulation would negatively affect my child's experience of the world, much like my mothers affected me. In a classic case of failing to take our own advice, perhaps I simply need to allow myself and my inner child more time to rest before visiting a place that will require stretching those emotional muscles. Thank you ❤
Audhd here, I can handle silence IF I’m doing something with my hands/body, or reading. Being still in silence is difficult, and my dysautonomia makes it impossible to do traditional breathing exercises (I « forget » how to breathe if I pay attention to it, it’s extremely stressful) Guided meditation (in my head, guiding myself) works somewhat though.
my partner is the exact same way. i think for them silence isn't great but instead putting something on that you end up tuning out. like lofi hip hop music type stuff. where you're not actively thinking about it but its also not just dead silence. not sure if that helps but if nothing else just know you're not alone with that :)
I also have to DO something when there's silence; focus on my coffee ritual; focus on driving safely. I am a fan of the ADHD focus music on UA-cam. It gives me a background that is not silent but not active listening. It keeps me from spinning out.
Same. I have found that frequency music is the answer. It lets me relax and get out of my head while still giving just enough stimulation that I don't spiral.
I know part of me struggles with drawing because I feel like I have to be drawing 'something.' However, your point about this being for your inner child makes me feel like I just need to collect colors that I feel like are pretty and just put them together on a page. That feels much more approachable then trying to draw 'something' and trying to draw it well.
When I saw the title it reminded me of a story you told in one of your older videos. "I want a sweetie! I want a sweetie!" Still pops into my head sometimes when my inner child is trying to get its way.😆
I really love this perspective of caring for yourself as "parenting the child that is you". Also, the Harry Chapin 30,000 pounds of bananas (first ending) brought me immense joy as a child, and still does as an adult. Thank you for the wonderful hidden treat!
This was such a good video and really spoke to me. After being a stay at home mum for 4 years im currently changing careers to become a florist. I realized that as a kid i loved to be creative and it was a huge part of my personality but growing up i saw it as 'pointless'. Now at 33 and with 2 kids and a pandemic later i realize the importance of just doing something because i enjoy it and not because it will advance my career or earn money etc. Also for the first time we are renting a house with a garden. And i love gardening so much. Its so peaceful and satisfying and teaches you to be patient and nurture something. My mum and grandmother gardened a lot and it was a big part of my childhood and now its so heartwarming to share it with my children.
Yes, gardening is great for me too - it feels productive so the adult brain that wants to accomplish stuff is satisfied, but the actual activity is calming and meditative.
Stolen Focus has changed my whole framing as well! I’ve attempted to engage as the social media person for my derby team, believing I’d be able to stay out of the “for you” algorithm. Incorrect! I need to literally just make the videos and have someone else post them. I love the content creation, but get addicted to the likes and comments and views. It’s so addictive, I have lost hours and days, and I just don’t want my life to drain away that way!
i'm so here for this! shopping and revamping my entire wardrobe has been my hyperfocus recently... hyperfocus is fun until it isn't anymore, but you still can't tear yourself away. my reading in the bath is sitting outside on blanket, or on a chair on the porch, and staring at sky or trees. all about being motionless in nature. the danes call doing nothing "niksen"
I just moved from a busy tourist beach to a mountain ranch on 88 acres. I go on walks every day for 10-45 minutes and do not ever desire for “distractions” like music, an audiobook, or podcast as I walk. Even when I drive 25 minutes to town it’s typically in silence while I look at the beautiful scenery go by. It is healing my soul.
listening to birdsong (either irl or recorded) for even just 10 minutes seems to squeegee my brain also I have no idea what i’m doing with any of my limbs at any given time but taking a basketball to shoot some solo hoops has been incredibly restorative lately!
For play, may I suggest dancing? I've been using a pomodoro method while working and when the timer goes off (every 25 minutes), I get up and boogie to a song. Another thing is swimming: it's not possible to listen to or watch anything while you're in the water, so you are forced to focus on the activity itself and on your own thoughts. I always feel much better afterwards. Plus, I think the ultimate in-the-moment experience is petting our dog. It's very unhygienic, but we have kissing competitions, where I try to kiss her on her furry cheek and she tries to lick my face and we see who can get in there first. That is definitely extremely childish-and completely absorbing.
For me playing the piano, just running my fingers over the keys free style. I feel more centered and grounded and ready to move on with what is to come.
This is absolutely GORGEOUS 💖 Thank you for making this. Play and quiet are underrated and underestimated in their power and generation of happiness for us.
i'm so here for this! shopping and revamping my entire wardrobe has been my hyperfocus recently... hyperfocus is fun until it isn't anymore, but you still can't tear yourself away. my reading in the bath is sitting outside on blanket, or on a chair on the porch, and staring at sky or trees. all about being motionless in nature. the *dutch call doing nothing "niksen" (edited bc I originally attributed niksen to Danes)
I know the video is not about it, but I started to study child education, even though I’m not a mom or soon to be, to learn how to treat my inner child when Im feeling all sorts of feelings, to give her other options that are not how my parents naively did and hurt us so bad, because I couldn’t find out on my own, my traumas blocked my creativity to figure healthy ways out, so thank you for this, I also had a moment when I needed to discover how to have fun, I’m sure it will help a lot of people
I love this! I've been thinking about lego lately, but it's quite expensive. Now that I think of my inner child, I'm afraid I need to dance and come up with silly choreographies. I'm not sure if I want to go there. What I have been doing, when the weather allows, sometimes I drink my morning coffee in the back yard without my phone. Can't wait to read everyone's ideas! But I'm going to try to do nothing first.
9:20 Hahahahah you literally are filling my background as I work which is spent entirely in front of two computer screens. If it weren't your beautiful and thoughtful content, it would be something like The Golden Girls to lift my mood as I welcome the end of a long work day.
When weather is nice my sister and I enjoy painting large canvas paintings and typically it devolves into finger paints. Never creates anything we would hang but definitely money well spent…
Again, I will add my voice to the quality of Julia Frodahl's courses. The Nature Based Parts Work course is so enlightening. I took it online on my own, and it was great. Her group courses are truly amazing, and I will always recommend doing the courses as a group if you can. The group energy is so helpful and people always ask such great questions.
You hit profoundly on something I share with the people I work with that are recovering from addiction. Treat that part gently. I feel so fortunate to have my delightful, playful little child. She makes the mundane into play. Independently of her, playing dress up does please this part of me. As a therapist and longtime Johann Hari fan, I am pretty sparing with external stimulus. We are an Internet and tv free family. No social media. I take long baths and read books and write. I live in the mountains. I am keenly aware of how privileged I am to live this way. We are the same age, your pace and essence are why I relish your content, despite my aversion to screens.
For me, my play time is cooking, organizing and writing. I don’t like playing without engaging my brain. I don’t find myself compelled towards a screen. I do find staying in the moment is very important for most activities, even creative ones.
I'm an artist, so drawing immediately lots me into a more analytical and critical mode. Colouring in a colouring book is a better option to go into child like art mode for me. I also keep fish and I can spend hours letting my mind wander while watching the peaceful tanks
For play - I often go outside with some chalk and draw a hopscotch board on my sidewalk. It's not just for me to enjoy, but I find some of my happiest reflective moments are sitting in the recliner, drinking some tea, and watching out my big picture window to see who too also enjoys the thrill of hopscotch. The ones that give me real joy are those who look down as their walking, recognize it but keep walking on by only to get to the neighbors drive way and turn around and hop the board on their way. I never know where my mind will wander with whomever is jumping - relationships, aging, health, fashion, music, memories, missed opportunities, how smiles change everything, dropped ice cream cones, bugs, overdue yard trimming, the beauty of a dandelion! It's like true silence stagnates my mind, but give it this little bit of white noise and I can't silence it.
Another thing that's great for play is to get messy! I have found that having a set of clothing that's my "painting clothes", and then going to the woods and just traipsing through the mud and just not caring is amazing. I did a mud run once and realized that was the first time I had been intentionally messy since I was a kid. It's surprisingly freeing to go down to a creek and just find crawdads and weird rocks and plants. And then just towels in the car and you strip directly into the washer when you get home.
Wow, even as a kid I wasn't 'allowed' to be messy because my brother was 'the messy one' - I 'had' to keep the same lunchbox all throughout primary school, for example, because he'd be breaking his every other month 😅 Anyway the point is you've helped me realise why I loved drawing messily so much as a child - it was the only time I could actually *be* a child! And even then, my parents weren't happy with it because I wasn't spending that time doing all the things they expected from me instead...
i have a beat up [very cheap] old sketchbook that I love that's perfect for this kind of thing - it's full of, well, some actually good sketches, but also a TON of just random marker scribbles and paint splotches from me testing supplies and trying to figure out which colors go well together, and practice works. I have an art journal that's for more polished stuff, but I really love flipping through this beat up sketchbook. it's a great snapshot of what art I've been working on through the years, and it's so freeing, because a lot of it's - not bad per say, but almost structureless. totally encourage anyone to grab something like this. it's kind of a junk journal in a way, and those are always my favorites.
Something I got into back in the late 90's early 2000’s is coloring in adult coloring books. Mandala coloring books specifically. At that time they were incredibly rare & difficult to get. I had to order them at borders! Remember borders!? It was the most satisfying form of meditation because there truly is no pressure. I tried crayons, then markers, then colored pencils. Pencils are the most satisfying because you can create lovely soft gradients & blends. It also takes the pressure off of having to actually create something. It's been an incredible source of meditation & relaxation for me going on three decades now. When I used to tell folks it was my form of meditation they would laugh, but now? Think about the Tibetan monks who create colored sand mandalas. While coloring a picture isn't the same thing, it quiets the mind in the most satisfying way.
👏👏 This unlocks so many memories! I think back to when I was a kid walking to the bus stop, and what did I do when I got there? Literally nothing. Sometimes I would talk to my busmates, sometimes I would stare at my shoes or the clouds, other times I would peel the bark off of sticks. Nowadays when I am waiting in line at the light or grocery store, I immediately pull out my phone. Why must I constantly be intaking something? Why can't I just let myself sit in a moment of silence? I think it is time for me to talk a walk outside without any electronics, or lay out a blanket and look at the clouds. Thank you! Also for play I would say that social dance is also play.
This might not be accessible to everyone but I ride horses and to me it’s the ultimate brain recharge, they demand that you’re one hundred percent present without any sort of judgement. Countless are the times where I find my mind centered without even noticing it happen, no matter how much my thoughts have been spinning out that day. It still baffles me every time, I’m so grateful to have that opportunity in my life.
I recently got back into using my local library A LOT. The last time that I went it really did have an unexpected effect of joyfulness and restfulness that I couldn't account for. I feel like this video just popped up at the perfect moment to put it into context.
I agree, we need quiet time I picked mushrooms in the forest yesterday - I noticed the sounds of birds, the wind, how the clouds were gathering and the excitement of finding the mushrooms I was looking for! It was the feeling of being in the day but quietly!
I know for myself I specifically need a screen in order to KEEP my mind from wandering 😅 Seriously sometimes I just need to let my mind numb out for a while, at least these days. 💗
Love this!!!! My cross-stitch is an awesome play for all of me :-) Cross stitching when all four dogs are snuggling and there is no other sound but the birds outside and the tree limbs/leaves blowing in the wind. (Oh - that wind poem.... comes up all the time for me now. How cool!) And... I installed a speed bag as a reward for 200k meters rowed in Jan and Feb... and that's been a great play time too :)
I have a few "escapes": my early morning walks with my dog. He always wants to go home quickly because he knows it's breakfast time then. But I am often not done with being outdoors when he is, so he has to (sort of) go walkies with me for a while longer. Another escape is knitting, when the monotonous movement of my hands allows my mind to wander. Cooking or baking lets me be 100% in the moment. Gardening lets me focus on one task at a time, on watching, editing and trying to create something that I see as beautiful. I also started meditating (with Julias help, thank you for introducing her courses to me - very helpful in several ways:). And my phone is on silent mode all the time and enjoy not being alerted, nudged or otherwise disturbed. Thank you for this video, Hannah. You reminded me of some more ways to play or generally be at ease. ❤
Gardening has changed my life, and I think it is because it gave my soul back its quiet time. I have found it takes me back immediately to all the time I spent outside as a child (digging in the dirt). Thanks for the reminder (Melanie and Hannah) that I need to care very expressly for my inner child. ❤
My walks are my non-stimulation time. I do not listen to music, or podcasts, or audiobooks. I listen to the birds and the wind, look at the people and the plants, see what the weather is doing, and just let my mind roam wild.
When I learned about zines, I unlocked an entire unexplored depth of my inner self. I regularly fold them up and use them to write, just make lists, or draw with a pen or crayons. It’s so incredibly freeing and satiating. Play is a vital part of being a creature in the world. Consumerism is absolutely designed to hijack our craving for play, creativity, and newness.
Screens are creating a massive section of societal hunchbacks. My neck and shoulders are in constant pain and I despair may be irreparably compromised. :(
My husband finds it insane that anytime I’m on a plane I love staring off doing nothing. I love it. Feels like a complete break from the demands of the world.
The last time I had a long train journey I thought I would spend it journaling and reading - instead I spent the majority just staring out the window and letting my mind wander.
@@maddyfox8545 Careful - now that airlines have started to offer WiFi onboard, who knows how long it'll be before it's free to use for at least a few hours? Then all our bosses will be demanding we stay on top of emails even when we're shooting across the sky thousands of miles above them in a metal can...
Your comments about painting really made me realize that my inner child is trapped by a critical voice that always tells me to 'produce good work', so I am a bit scared of drawing because that voice will keep telling me my drawing needs to be 'good', or I wasted my time. I hope I can see it as play instead of performance! 🙂
I love seeing your facial expressions and hand gestures. It feels like sitting and listening to a friend talk about something they feel very interested in uninterrupted.
there was a period of time that i had a series of dreams where i was rescuing a kitten; taking her from the storm & putting her in my pocket, bringing the kitten home.. i realized that the kitten was my inner child. i was adulting too much! i had a revelation where in my dreams i answered myself, "i need love & creativity"
I have been focusing a lot on this ♥️. Really asking myself what do I want and need. I signed up for an oil painting class this weekend and brought out my languishing sewing machine to start finally teaching myself how to sew. I’ve also photographed my friends and their newborn this last week. I’ve also just sat and drawn with Leon more and more. The pull to create, in any way, is huge right now. 6 months into no-buy!
Really thoughtful conversation! I often use knitting swatches in the same way you describe the low stakes creativity of free drawing. I've been knitting for a long time now and sometimes the focused skill building of a more complex pattern is what I really want. But there are other times where I enjoy getting back to thinking of the yarn and needles as art supplies, just casting on whatever feels good and knitting a swatch that will never become anything else just to experiment with different textures or color pairings. It's a good reminder not to let hobbies that are supposed to be relaxing veer into becoming more productivity pressure in our lives.
I was just re-reading The Gifts of Imperfection yesterday and your comments are very much in line with her findings. When we are overwhelmed with life she recommends we “DIG Deep” = "get deliberate, inspired, & going" Deliberate in thoughts and behaviors through prayer, meditation, or simply by setting intentions; Inspired to make new and different choices; Going by taking action. The Guideposts for wholehearted living of Creativity, Rest & Play, and Calm & Stillness are also reflected in your comments. I’ve been intentionally incorporating deliberate pauses into my day (I use the Triple Flame App because I adore the Gene Keys) and it has been making a huge difference in my inner and outer life. Wonderful topic. Thanks for sharing.
Something that's really soothing and relaxing for my inner child is being in or by the sea. Looking out onto the sea or being in it is so helpful for me because it is not only naturally relaxing for me to be in water, but I think human beings connect to the sea so much because we feel seen by it. It's beauty, its tumult, its destructive and constructive nature, it feels like splashing in the waves is a good way of letting my anger wash away. Even watching the waves pour over the sand. watching the shifting colours, it feels like art is being made right in front of my eyes. I also think allowing yourself to sing out loud, or dance without caring what you look or sound like, is so wonderful for your inner child. It makes me so sad that we've made it so it's embarrassing to sing and dance 'badly', because singing and dancing is one of the most human things you can do, and it shouldn't be reserved only for those who are traditionally 'good' at it. Hearing my mom sing completely out of tune while she works around the house brings me so much joy, and I know it helps her too
For me I like running without headphones. It’s been a game changer. I run for longer and I’m more self motivated to keep going than when I have a sound on. Birds are good company too
Play - trivia nights, choirs, dancing & giggling with friends (& strangers sometimes). Great video & reminder to strive for balance. Adults with children need to model that too, I would say. Thank you.
Hannah, you continue to change my life and my brain chemistry. I can’t thank you enough and you are the only UA-camr I watch consistently 🖤 Instead of consuming hours of YT beauty videos every night, I’ve been putting on rain storm sounds with dark environments as the background. It’s my quiet meditation time that always gets me ready for bed and helps shut my brain off after the day ⛈️
thank you for this - it's so helpful (and so much more compassionate!) to think of my inner child who wants to spend all day on screens as simply not being *wise* enough to know that won't really help! because I would never shame a child for *wanting* to spend more time on their screen, so why should I get angry at that part of myself? instead I can do what I would do with that child, which is gently redirect them toward something that I know will actually make them feel better
I love this and I think I'm pretty good at taking breaks in some aspects of my life. Like taking a walk without listening to something. I can distinctly feel a tiredness in my soul when I'm in need of that. Since becoming a mom I find it harder at home though, there's so much that needs to be done while the kids are sleeping and such. I find it harder to relax knowing I should use the time to do something useful, cleaning or doing laundry or something. I'm working on it. This also made me think of a quote I read years ago; "Time you enjoy wasting isn't wasted". I agree with it at the same time as I have reservations, but I think your take on helping your inner child find "better" oulets than screens is the missing piece for me. Screens are fine as long as it's not your whole idea of relaxing and playing.
Just watched some Tibi vids and saw them cutting up clothes to give it a new spin, so grabbed some old tees and cut up sleeves and started playing giving them a new life. I am a sucker for drawing and I have a few adult coloring books. I love going on walks so I think I will go out more during my lunch breaks. There is a Japanese garden next to my work which I haven’t visited since 2017! I recently went to some wine and paint nights, a little bit of costly play ($50) but so relaxing and so much worth it! Thank you for reminding us to embrace our inner child!
Wow! This resonated with me so completely thank you so much for sharing this person's comment with all of us, because I really am taking this to heart and Hope to implement it
Half way into this video as you began to talk about creativity, I truly felt that you had read my entry journal from today and were somehow here to issue the permission slip to do the things (painting for the sake of painting, putting make up on and all the glitter just to play, making any kind of art for the sake of art... just play). I paused to ponder on that and to take a deep breath and re read my journal entry. I need to do this like my life depends on it as I am deeply saddened by the fact that I am not creating at the moment.
I’m an intense overthinker so full silence doesn’t work for me because that tends to trigger my overthinking. I’ve found what works best for me is listening to quiet meditative music which helps override the overthinking part of my brain and channels it enough to a pensive “free” thinking state where my mind can wander but in a calm way rather than an anxious overthinking way.
When it comes to drawing and painting I'm always stuck in this thought pattern of "is this any good?". I wish I could go back to drawing just for the fun of it, Just DOING it, like I used to do. Maybe I can try and get my play time in when drawing with my toddler
My tired self has been drawn to UA-cam instead of my usual reading. I've also wanted to buy stuff lately. It's not good. Today I can't make myself get a shower, do housework, go to the grocery store, etc. I just want to be in bed.
Gardening! Monty Don, one of UK best known gardeners on BBC, once said; Real good gardens come from adults going oudoor, play and having fun! (or something of that note) I have three passions in life reading, cloths and house & garden. In gardening you play with light/shadow, different colours, textures and so much more to try and get a feeling, an atmospher in the space. But compared to interior design you are playing in seasons as plants etc. change but also in time as a small tree grows bigger etc. In interior design the sofa doesn’t grow bigger 😂 It is true playing for me as I let my mind wonder and I loose myself for hours and hours forgetting my telephone indoors. Try it if you havn’t! It’s a Joy!
This may also be a case of me getting access to some stock video and going overboard
stock video playtime
I loved the walking path clip and so much more!
I adore you and your videos, but the video clips made me dizzy.
Highly impressive.
it's digital camp
Goodness! I did not expect my little comment to spark a whole video! Your thoughts were so interesting to hear, and I think you’re right to emphasise both the play and quiet aspects of this need. It’s one of the things my children have taught me - when they are engaged in play, be it quiet or boisterous, they are fully present in the moment, and I think it’s that groundedness in the present that makes it such a valuable experience for adults too.
One suggestion for the play element is to dance! Especially when no one is watching. Or I dance with my kids who love to put silly songs on and always want me to join in.
Loving all these reflective videos - thank you for sharing. ❤
It was full of wisdom and I could relate so much. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. 💜
I am glad that you shared your thoughts because I had previously listened to an episode on the Mel Robbins podcast, where she and her guest spoke about anxiety being the younger you lacking something or giving you a warning. Both what they discussed, and you said, made a lot of sense to me and has been helping me manage negative thoughts since.
Thank you!❤
its like when you're at a party and go to the bathroom and youre suddenly alone and its quiet, and you realise how much the party was taxing you even if it was fun. Sometimes your whole life is the party and you gotta have like some bathroom time away from it.
This is just gorgeous.
Gorgeous, gorgous metaphor!
Another creative, hands-on activity is what my family calls "cuts." Grab a few magazines and a pair of scissors, flip through the magazines, and cut out any pictures and phrases that you like. Usually the intent is to arrange and paste these cuts into a personalized birthday card for someone, but it's very freeing to do it with no expectations and a kind of aimlessness. You end up with a spontaneous low stakes mood board. You can save really good ones in a scrapbook or photo album, and the process is both fun and super relaxing.
You mean collaging
Not sure if it feeds my inner child, but gardening brings the type of quiet you’re speaking of. A time where you can completely turn off the thinking mind and just dig and plant and grow things.
My favorite non-craft play is spending time with my cats, even if it's just watching them do their little cat antics. They make me to slow down and pay attention to something that's not a screen, especially when they sit on my laptop while I'm trying to work (lol), and I'm always grateful for the forced breaks they give me.
I love this 🥹❤️😻
Having pets is so good for the work-life balance ! And it really keeps you grounded.
This, a thousand times this.
I was going to comment the exact same thing!!!
I love paying attention to my cats and I truly believe it’s the best possible thing for my inner child.
Side tangent, as someone who’s not a native English speaker, I just noticed how loaded the phrase “paying attention” is especially in the context of that video.
I have a bunch of bird feeders outside my office window, so I get both bird antics AND cats-watching-birds antics. It's the best.
I recently went on vacation in Iceland and while I was there it occured to me that as adults we often stop learning things just for the sake of learning them. The vacation sparked an interest in glaciers and volcanos and rocks, and I'm going to learn all about them without intent to do anything structured with that information. Just knowledge for the sake of knowing cool stuff.
I just really love that you are introducing yourself as the writer of a prizewinning book of poetry!!! Way to hype yourself up by stating true facts!
This feels like some classic HLP introspection and I am here for it. Good timing too. I just went to my first Quaker meet. Everyone warned me the silence would be hard, but it actually wasn't. It was refreshing and I think you touched on why in this video. I've also started asking my inner child "what hurts" because from what I can see when children act badly, they feel badly
That’s sweet
Thank you for the library call out 💙 - a public librarian
Sadly where im from we dont have public libraries, only universities and you have to be enrrolled to even enter them. 😢
We used to have many,but after the floods of huracaine Maria here in Puerto Rico, most public buildings and property got damaged, specially books
❤ libraries! 💕💕💕💕
Except... is your library quiet? Mine isn't and I don't want it to be.
Yay! Fellow librarian here
@@thesonorista7853 I feel it depends on the time of the day or week, if there’s any children activity taking place obviously it’s less quiet. But also visiting a library in the quiet hours is difficult for people who have a full time in-person job, compared to people who are self employed/retired/otherwise not tied 8h a day to a workplace. My father used to go to the library next to his office during lunch break or before going home, but they were a 5min walk away, and they closed late on thursdays (8:30PM).
My Mom's greatest wisdom - yelled at my sib and I all during our childhood - "Just go outside!"
The purest play for me is mooching around in the garden. Maybe pruning or weeding, maybe collecting some leaves and flowers into a vase, maybe just looking at what has changed as the seasons progress, maybe noticing who else (birds? bugs?) is busy in our shared space. The growing world, the ultimate anti-screen.
My adult self is always saying, what is the goal here? What are we accomplishing? What else is on the list? Looking at those stock images of dress-up and painting ... made me tear up a bit. Where did that self go? Those kids aren't thinking about goals or results, they're just having fun. And I consider myself a creative person! I'm going to dig my easel and paints out of the closet and have a playdate with my inner child.
8:04 singing, dancing or playing an instrument for nobody but yourself! I love to play songs in my car and just sing when I’m all by myself. I don’t care about sounding good or impressing anyone. I also like to play freestyle on my guitar. Allowing my inner child to play any notes or chords my heart desires is such a free and joyous feeling. I know it’s not quiet, but as someone with ADHD, this strategy of letting go with music and dance really helps.
I was feeling anxious and a little stressed when I started watching this video. Then when you started talking about how many of us went to the library more as children, I took a moment to throw my mind back to the libraries that I went to as a child. I paused the video, closed my eyes and visualized them. The outside, the inside, the children’s section… the spot where my favorite books were. I thought about my very favorite library and the happy feelings I had there. By that time I was completely calm. Thank you for the thoughtful video! ♥️
I mean this in a loving way, I would 100x rather watch your face while you talk to us vs stock videos. Part of the reason I like your videos is because of how wonderful your presence is. It’s a shame to interrupt it
You could close your eyes and just listen without the visual distractions. I actually liked the way she put in the stock videos. And her wonderful voice stays with us all the time. I'm very grateful she doesn't use music.
As a professional artist with extensive training and goals around art making. I'm so envious of your description of drawing without ego... I'll have to stick to dancing while no one is watching as my outlet for these feeling.
I am in exactly the same situation and have been thinking exactly that while she was talking about drawing. But I've also been trying to just let myself sketch freely more often, to try to get loose in unbridled flow of creativity, because that's what brought me initially into the art world. Not the goals and achieved results, and skills, but just the immense joy of just drawing. I miss it often.
I have sooo many friends who really struggled to be able to just Make for themselves. The Joy and Magic of colours and strokes.
A lot of them who were able to recover from art school/professional art syndrome begun by drawing really silly things, memes, silly fanarts… some used abstract/non-figurative techniques to just play with colour without having to focus on Making It Look Perfect. Maybe try both, and more ? If you’re a digital artist, using traditional tools might be a great way to reconnect, too.
Good luck :)
Not a professional artist but someone who's a hobby artist with lots of goals... yeah. I struggle to make what I want to make and just let go. it's so hard not to get super involved in the details instead of enjoying the process.
I went to the dentist this week and brought Julia Hungry with me. It was such a delight to be able to absolutely gush about you to the dentist who politely asked me "Hey, what are you reading, is it good?"
Am I into poetry? "I'm trying to be!" ❤
There was a study that concluded that we need about 42% of the day in rest. And oftentimes when people don’t take the time, the time takes them, and in very frustrating ways. (Sleep procrastinating is a common manifestation)
Also : this is an average, some need wayyy more. Artists for example need a lot more time doing « nothing » because the act of creating something is so draining, and already takes a lot of space continuously in the background of the brain.
Also : I LOVE the video editing. I love to see grown-ups being silly. Especially when the message is so serious and important !
Doing puzzles is currently my favorite way to play. It completely relaxes me, I can do it for hours without thinking about my phone 😊 For me it also stops the urge to browse
My mother went through a puzzle phase, and she kinda got me into them. They’re actually really fun. ☺️☺️
I agree. I do mini puzzles so I have the sense of accomplishment the same night and don't need much real estate to do them. So relaxing with music or an audio book on too.
It is not uncommon for me to take a break from intense work and say, "Excuse me, I'm going outside to look at a tree for a few minutes." It's a joke amongst my colleagues, "Oh, Espie's gone for a few minutes, she must be looking at a tree somewhere."
At home, I love to dance and sing to loud music. It is so freeing and silly and gets movement into the mix.
When I am driving alone in my car, I travel in silence.
My morning coffee ritual is enjoyed in stillness and silence. Everyone in the house knows this is my quiet time. The dogs are even still and quiet during this time.
This is actually huge part of meditation: to calm your "monkey mind" by just being in the moment, just washing dishes, just commuting. Nothing new for me, but love your take on any subject 🧡
When life gets to be too much, I take a drive in nature, maybe get a few pics, but a drive with music always makes me feel better.
You explained exactly why I love taking the bus! Public transit is a great way to relax my mind, strangely enough.
My version of this is not always pure silence. Growing up I inherited my mum's collection of audiobook cassettes. I basically listened to a handful of stories on repeat through my childhood. Audiobooks used to be so expensive so I don't think I ever got anything new. Now I still listen to a lot of audiobooks, but when I need to be soothed my go-to is always a re-listen to a past favourite. I can choose to get lost back in the story, but when it's something very familiar it also gives my mind space to roam and the story becomes just a peaceful, safe beat accompanying my thoughts. This, whilst on a walk is often just the thing to pull me back from whatever spiral threatens.
I like doing this with TV shows I've already watched - putting a past episode on the background isn't as distracting (whereas I usually drop everything else I'm trying to do when watching a new episode lol)
Published author!! I cannot stop hearing that and saying yes she did it!! Celebrate it! Love it! And thank you for all your introspective, helps me grow and know myself more!!
Not having constant stimulation has been a recent goal of mine. My husband broke his leg last October and I needed constant stimulation to get through that without falling apart, but now that he’s healthy and active again I’ve been working on allowing myself to be comfortable with silence and boredom. It’s okay and even important to be bored because that’s when I’m my most creative self.
Really liked your comment about art and the ego. I find that painting not from my own picture in my mind but from an existing reference photo is more of a break from the ego for me. I have to surrender to the true shape and form of things as they look, with no intrusion from my mind saying "this is how a train looks" or "this is how a sink looks". We get attached to the idealized forms of things and forget to question our beliefs. My best art teacher used to say "paint what you see," and what hard advice that is to follow sometimes! But I try and trying is very rewarding and relaxing beyond expectations.
I have recently been working on doing things for solely myself. Not motivated by anyone else, only choosing to spend time and effort doing the thing because I want to. I'm pretty good about play with other people, but I am astonishingly bad at doing things only because I want to! I'm still finding what these things are, but the more I do it the better it feels already.
I don’t remember where I first heard this, but apparently one way to get in touch with the inner child is to live your “perfect 9 year old day”. I have a friend working through some early life trauma, and his favorite thing to do as a child was play Lego. He recently, as a man in his thirties, went and bought Legos for the first time since he was a child and spent the evening playing with them, and the joy and lightness that brought to him, when he finally let go of adult frameworks / self expectations and just played, was beautiful and very moving to witness!
so i have dissociative identity disorder, so the “inner child(ren)” is very literal for me. letting your inner child (whether they be metaphorical or literal child alters in DID) play and just *exist* as a child with no judgement is so important
i’m still a sucker for playgrounds. i’m lucky to live in a city with a bunch of playgrounds within walking distance. (i’m also lucky i’m still young and look enough like a young teenager so it’s not questioned). i usually go to the playground by myself when nobody else is there so it’s also quiet
last year on an excursion I got a chance to rock on a swing constructed to carry even adult plus size person. that was so much fun! I enjoyed it to the point of making myself dizzy from all the swinging)) I didn't realize how those simple childish experiences are missed in everyday adult seriousness.
Ahh I love a playground :)
Ooo you’ve made me realize I actually have playtime every day! I go wild with stationary, pens, creating planner spreads, notebooks and practicing beautiful writing techniques. I wake up super early just because I want time to have fun
I work with adolescents and am confronted daily with the massive struggles this new young generation faces when it comes down to being with oneself and reflecting without ever-present technology. Similarly, my mother in her 70s is unable to be still and silent. Perhaps it's a type of personality, a reflection of one's mental health, a manifestation of discipline and will, or maybe it's generational. In any case, it's a topic I ponder all the time. And some of the time I ponder it with my phone in my hand : )
This video was exactly what I needed. I AM a specialist in anxiety and healing broken parts of ourselves (I'm a licensed therapist) and found this channel during my own maternity leave a little over a year ago while trying to heal from my childhood raised by hoarders before passing overconsumption to my daughter.
I find children's spaces (museums, playgrounds, etc) SO OVERSTIMULATING when we're there on weekends or other busy times and just this morning broke down at the MN children's museum while visiting family because I. Just. Could. Not. I left terrified that my own issues with sensory stimulation would negatively affect my child's experience of the world, much like my mothers affected me.
In a classic case of failing to take our own advice, perhaps I simply need to allow myself and my inner child more time to rest before visiting a place that will require stretching those emotional muscles.
Thank you ❤
My favorite nourishing activities are journalling, petting my cats, and making soup from random leftover ingredients.
Long live soup making - love that I'm not the only one! :)
I stuggle so much with silence. I have ADHD so when it's quiet I tend to overthink which ramps up my anxiety.
Audhd here, I can handle silence IF I’m doing something with my hands/body, or reading. Being still in silence is difficult, and my dysautonomia makes it impossible to do traditional breathing exercises (I « forget » how to breathe if I pay attention to it, it’s extremely stressful)
Guided meditation (in my head, guiding myself) works somewhat though.
my partner is the exact same way. i think for them silence isn't great but instead putting something on that you end up tuning out. like lofi hip hop music type stuff. where you're not actively thinking about it but its also not just dead silence. not sure if that helps but if nothing else just know you're not alone with that :)
I also have to DO something when there's silence; focus on my coffee ritual; focus on driving safely. I am a fan of the ADHD focus music on UA-cam. It gives me a background that is not silent but not active listening. It keeps me from spinning out.
If silence is too much then classical music as background can ease you in
Same. I have found that frequency music is the answer. It lets me relax and get out of my head while still giving just enough stimulation that I don't spiral.
I know part of me struggles with drawing because I feel like I have to be drawing 'something.' However, your point about this being for your inner child makes me feel like I just need to collect colors that I feel like are pretty and just put them together on a page. That feels much more approachable then trying to draw 'something' and trying to draw it well.
When I saw the title it reminded me of a story you told in one of your older videos. "I want a sweetie! I want a sweetie!" Still pops into my head sometimes when my inner child is trying to get its way.😆
I really love this perspective of caring for yourself as "parenting the child that is you". Also, the Harry Chapin 30,000 pounds of bananas (first ending) brought me immense joy as a child, and still does as an adult. Thank you for the wonderful hidden treat!
This was such a good video and really spoke to me. After being a stay at home mum for 4 years im currently changing careers to become a florist. I realized that as a kid i loved to be creative and it was a huge part of my personality but growing up i saw it as 'pointless'. Now at 33 and with 2 kids and a pandemic later i realize the importance of just doing something because i enjoy it and not because it will advance my career or earn money etc.
Also for the first time we are renting a house with a garden. And i love gardening so much. Its so peaceful and satisfying and teaches you to be patient and nurture something. My mum and grandmother gardened a lot and it was a big part of my childhood and now its so heartwarming to share it with my children.
Yes, gardening is great for me too - it feels productive so the adult brain that wants to accomplish stuff is satisfied, but the actual activity is calming and meditative.
Stolen Focus has changed my whole framing as well! I’ve attempted to engage as the social media person for my derby team, believing I’d be able to stay out of the “for you” algorithm. Incorrect! I need to literally just make the videos and have someone else post them. I love the content creation, but get addicted to the likes and comments and views. It’s so addictive, I have lost hours and days, and I just don’t want my life to drain away that way!
I really like to sit alone in the dark and let my mind wander freely, it’s relaxing and calming before getting ready for bed.
Knowing this and hearing it from someone “outside” of ourselves are two different things. Thank you for talking about this!
i'm so here for this! shopping and revamping my entire wardrobe has been my hyperfocus recently... hyperfocus is fun until it isn't anymore, but you still can't tear yourself away. my reading in the bath is sitting outside on blanket, or on a chair on the porch, and staring at sky or trees. all about being motionless in nature. the danes call doing nothing "niksen"
I just moved from a busy tourist beach to a mountain ranch on 88 acres. I go on walks every day for 10-45 minutes and do not ever desire for “distractions” like music, an audiobook, or podcast as I walk. Even when I drive 25 minutes to town it’s typically in silence while I look at the beautiful scenery go by. It is healing my soul.
The stock footage 😂❤
But seriously, the footage of painting was so soothing - I’m going to give drawing a go!!! Used to love it as a kid/teen.
listening to birdsong (either irl or recorded) for even just 10 minutes seems to squeegee my brain
also I have no idea what i’m doing with any of my limbs at any given time but taking a basketball to shoot some solo hoops has been incredibly restorative lately!
For play, may I suggest dancing? I've been using a pomodoro method while working and when the timer goes off (every 25 minutes), I get up and boogie to a song. Another thing is swimming: it's not possible to listen to or watch anything while you're in the water, so you are forced to focus on the activity itself and on your own thoughts. I always feel much better afterwards. Plus, I think the ultimate in-the-moment experience is petting our dog. It's very unhygienic, but we have kissing competitions, where I try to kiss her on her furry cheek and she tries to lick my face and we see who can get in there first. That is definitely extremely childish-and completely absorbing.
For me playing the piano, just running my fingers over the keys free style. I feel more centered and grounded and ready to move on with what is to come.
I've recently taken up archery, and I LOVE it! It requires quiet focus to hit the target and puts me back in my body after a busy, demanding day ❤
This is absolutely GORGEOUS 💖 Thank you for making this. Play and quiet are underrated and underestimated in their power and generation of happiness for us.
i'm so here for this! shopping and revamping my entire wardrobe has been my hyperfocus recently... hyperfocus is fun until it isn't anymore, but you still can't tear yourself away. my reading in the bath is sitting outside on blanket, or on a chair on the porch, and staring at sky or trees. all about being motionless in nature. the *dutch call doing nothing "niksen" (edited bc I originally attributed niksen to Danes)
The Dutch call it that too!!
@@EnileReb OOF that's what I meant, correcting my comment now!
This feels like a warm hug. ❤ thank you Hannah.
I know the video is not about it, but I started to study child education, even though I’m not a mom or soon to be, to learn how to treat my inner child when Im feeling all sorts of feelings, to give her other options that are not how my parents naively did and hurt us so bad, because I couldn’t find out on my own, my traumas blocked my creativity to figure healthy ways out, so thank you for this, I also had a moment when I needed to discover how to have fun, I’m sure it will help a lot of people
I love this! I've been thinking about lego lately, but it's quite expensive. Now that I think of my inner child, I'm afraid I need to dance and come up with silly choreographies. I'm not sure if I want to go there. What I have been doing, when the weather allows, sometimes I drink my morning coffee in the back yard without my phone. Can't wait to read everyone's ideas! But I'm going to try to do nothing first.
9:20 Hahahahah you literally are filling my background as I work which is spent entirely in front of two computer screens. If it weren't your beautiful and thoughtful content, it would be something like The Golden Girls to lift my mood as I welcome the end of a long work day.
When weather is nice my sister and I enjoy painting large canvas paintings and typically it devolves into finger paints. Never creates anything we would hang but definitely money well spent…
Again, I will add my voice to the quality of Julia Frodahl's courses. The Nature Based Parts Work course is so enlightening. I took it online on my own, and it was great. Her group courses are truly amazing, and I will always recommend doing the courses as a group if you can. The group energy is so helpful and people always ask such great questions.
You hit profoundly on something I share with the people I work with that are recovering from addiction. Treat that part gently. I feel so fortunate to have my delightful, playful little child. She makes the mundane into play. Independently of her, playing dress up does please this part of me. As a therapist and longtime Johann Hari fan, I am pretty sparing with external stimulus. We are an Internet and tv free family. No social media. I take long baths and read books and write. I live in the mountains. I am keenly aware of how privileged I am to live this way. We are the same age, your pace and essence are why I relish your content, despite my aversion to screens.
For me, my play time is cooking, organizing and writing. I don’t like playing without engaging my brain. I don’t find myself compelled towards a screen. I do find staying in the moment is very important for most activities, even creative ones.
I'm an artist, so drawing immediately lots me into a more analytical and critical mode. Colouring in a colouring book is a better option to go into child like art mode for me.
I also keep fish and I can spend hours letting my mind wander while watching the peaceful tanks
For play - I often go outside with some chalk and draw a hopscotch board on my sidewalk. It's not just for me to enjoy, but I find some of my happiest reflective moments are sitting in the recliner, drinking some tea, and watching out my big picture window to see who too also enjoys the thrill of hopscotch. The ones that give me real joy are those who look down as their walking, recognize it but keep walking on by only to get to the neighbors drive way and turn around and hop the board on their way. I never know where my mind will wander with whomever is jumping - relationships, aging, health, fashion, music, memories, missed opportunities, how smiles change everything, dropped ice cream cones, bugs, overdue yard trimming, the beauty of a dandelion! It's like true silence stagnates my mind, but give it this little bit of white noise and I can't silence it.
Another thing that's great for play is to get messy! I have found that having a set of clothing that's my "painting clothes", and then going to the woods and just traipsing through the mud and just not caring is amazing.
I did a mud run once and realized that was the first time I had been intentionally messy since I was a kid. It's surprisingly freeing to go down to a creek and just find crawdads and weird rocks and plants. And then just towels in the car and you strip directly into the washer when you get home.
Wow, even as a kid I wasn't 'allowed' to be messy because my brother was 'the messy one' - I 'had' to keep the same lunchbox all throughout primary school, for example, because he'd be breaking his every other month 😅
Anyway the point is you've helped me realise why I loved drawing messily so much as a child - it was the only time I could actually *be* a child! And even then, my parents weren't happy with it because I wasn't spending that time doing all the things they expected from me instead...
i have a beat up [very cheap] old sketchbook that I love that's perfect for this kind of thing - it's full of, well, some actually good sketches, but also a TON of just random marker scribbles and paint splotches from me testing supplies and trying to figure out which colors go well together, and practice works. I have an art journal that's for more polished stuff, but I really love flipping through this beat up sketchbook. it's a great snapshot of what art I've been working on through the years, and it's so freeing, because a lot of it's - not bad per say, but almost structureless. totally encourage anyone to grab something like this. it's kind of a junk journal in a way, and those are always my favorites.
Something I got into back in the late 90's early 2000’s is coloring in adult coloring books. Mandala coloring books specifically. At that time they were incredibly rare & difficult to get. I had to order them at borders! Remember borders!? It was the most satisfying form of meditation because there truly is no pressure. I tried crayons, then markers, then colored pencils. Pencils are the most satisfying because you can create lovely soft gradients & blends. It also takes the pressure off of having to actually create something. It's been an incredible source of meditation & relaxation for me going on three decades now. When I used to tell folks it was my form of meditation they would laugh, but now? Think about the Tibetan monks who create colored sand mandalas. While coloring a picture isn't the same thing, it quiets the mind in the most satisfying way.
👏👏 This unlocks so many memories! I think back to when I was a kid walking to the bus stop, and what did I do when I got there? Literally nothing. Sometimes I would talk to my busmates, sometimes I would stare at my shoes or the clouds, other times I would peel the bark off of sticks. Nowadays when I am waiting in line at the light or grocery store, I immediately pull out my phone. Why must I constantly be intaking something? Why can't I just let myself sit in a moment of silence? I think it is time for me to talk a walk outside without any electronics, or lay out a blanket and look at the clouds. Thank you! Also for play I would say that social dance is also play.
This might not be accessible to everyone but I ride horses and to me it’s the ultimate brain recharge, they demand that you’re one hundred percent present without any sort of judgement. Countless are the times where I find my mind centered without even noticing it happen, no matter how much my thoughts have been spinning out that day. It still baffles me every time, I’m so grateful to have that opportunity in my life.
I recently got back into using my local library A LOT. The last time that I went it really did have an unexpected effect of joyfulness and restfulness that I couldn't account for. I feel like this video just popped up at the perfect moment to put it into context.
I agree, we need quiet time
I picked mushrooms in the forest yesterday - I noticed the sounds of birds, the wind, how the clouds were gathering and the excitement of finding the mushrooms I was looking for!
It was the feeling of being in the day but quietly!
I know for myself I specifically need a screen in order to KEEP my mind from wandering 😅 Seriously sometimes I just need to let my mind numb out for a while, at least these days. 💗
Love this!!!! My cross-stitch is an awesome play for all of me :-) Cross stitching when all four dogs are snuggling and there is no other sound but the birds outside and the tree limbs/leaves blowing in the wind. (Oh - that wind poem.... comes up all the time for me now. How cool!) And... I installed a speed bag as a reward for 200k meters rowed in Jan and Feb... and that's been a great play time too :)
I have a few "escapes": my early morning walks with my dog. He always wants to go home quickly because he knows it's breakfast time then. But I am often not done with being outdoors when he is, so he has to (sort of) go walkies with me for a while longer. Another escape is knitting, when the monotonous movement of my hands allows my mind to wander. Cooking or baking lets me be 100% in the moment. Gardening lets me focus on one task at a time, on watching, editing and trying to create something that I see as beautiful. I also started meditating (with Julias help, thank you for introducing her courses to me - very helpful in several ways:). And my phone is on silent mode all the time and enjoy not being alerted, nudged or otherwise disturbed. Thank you for this video, Hannah. You reminded me of some more ways to play or generally be at ease. ❤
Gardening has changed my life, and I think it is because it gave my soul back its quiet time. I have found it takes me back immediately to all the time I spent outside as a child (digging in the dirt). Thanks for the reminder (Melanie and Hannah) that I need to care very expressly for my inner child. ❤
My walks are my non-stimulation time. I do not listen to music, or podcasts, or audiobooks. I listen to the birds and the wind, look at the people and the plants, see what the weather is doing, and just let my mind roam wild.
When I learned about zines, I unlocked an entire unexplored depth of my inner self. I regularly fold them up and use them to write, just make lists, or draw with a pen or crayons. It’s so incredibly freeing and satiating.
Play is a vital part of being a creature in the world. Consumerism is absolutely designed to hijack our craving for play, creativity, and newness.
This video came at such a perfect time. Magical
Screens are creating a massive section of societal hunchbacks. My neck and shoulders are in constant pain and I despair may be irreparably compromised. :(
My husband finds it insane that anytime I’m on a plane I love staring off doing nothing. I love it. Feels like a complete break from the demands of the world.
The last time I had a long train journey I thought I would spend it journaling and reading - instead I spent the majority just staring out the window and letting my mind wander.
Yes yes! No one can get to you up there!
Exact same for me...or a long car ride too.
@@maddyfox8545 Careful - now that airlines have started to offer WiFi onboard, who knows how long it'll be before it's free to use for at least a few hours? Then all our bosses will be demanding we stay on top of emails even when we're shooting across the sky thousands of miles above them in a metal can...
Your comments about painting really made me realize that my inner child is trapped by a critical voice that always tells me to 'produce good work', so I am a bit scared of drawing because that voice will keep telling me my drawing needs to be 'good', or I wasted my time. I hope I can see it as play instead of performance! 🙂
I love seeing your facial expressions and hand gestures. It feels like sitting and listening to a friend talk about something they feel very interested in uninterrupted.
there was a period of time that i had a series of dreams where i was rescuing a kitten; taking her from the storm & putting her in my pocket, bringing the kitten home..
i realized that the kitten was my inner child. i was adulting too much! i had a revelation where in my dreams i answered myself, "i need love & creativity"
I have been focusing a lot on this ♥️. Really asking myself what do I want and need. I signed up for an oil painting class this weekend and brought out my languishing sewing machine to start finally teaching myself how to sew. I’ve also photographed my friends and their newborn this last week. I’ve also just sat and drawn with Leon more and more. The pull to create, in any way, is huge right now. 6 months into no-buy!
Really thoughtful conversation! I often use knitting swatches in the same way you describe the low stakes creativity of free drawing. I've been knitting for a long time now and sometimes the focused skill building of a more complex pattern is what I really want. But there are other times where I enjoy getting back to thinking of the yarn and needles as art supplies, just casting on whatever feels good and knitting a swatch that will never become anything else just to experiment with different textures or color pairings. It's a good reminder not to let hobbies that are supposed to be relaxing veer into becoming more productivity pressure in our lives.
I was just re-reading The Gifts of Imperfection yesterday and your comments are very much in line with her findings. When we are overwhelmed with life she recommends we “DIG Deep” = "get deliberate, inspired, & going"
Deliberate in thoughts and behaviors through prayer, meditation, or simply by setting intentions;
Inspired to make new and different choices;
Going by taking action.
The Guideposts for wholehearted living of Creativity, Rest & Play, and Calm & Stillness are also reflected in your comments.
I’ve been intentionally incorporating deliberate pauses into my day (I use the Triple Flame App because I adore the Gene Keys) and it has been making a huge difference in my inner and outer life.
Wonderful topic. Thanks for sharing.
Something that's really soothing and relaxing for my inner child is being in or by the sea. Looking out onto the sea or being in it is so helpful for me because it is not only naturally relaxing for me to be in water, but I think human beings connect to the sea so much because we feel seen by it. It's beauty, its tumult, its destructive and constructive nature, it feels like splashing in the waves is a good way of letting my anger wash away. Even watching the waves pour over the sand. watching the shifting colours, it feels like art is being made right in front of my eyes.
I also think allowing yourself to sing out loud, or dance without caring what you look or sound like, is so wonderful for your inner child. It makes me so sad that we've made it so it's embarrassing to sing and dance 'badly', because singing and dancing is one of the most human things you can do, and it shouldn't be reserved only for those who are traditionally 'good' at it. Hearing my mom sing completely out of tune while she works around the house brings me so much joy, and I know it helps her too
You look absolutely gorgeous Hannah, that red looks elegant on you. Great Video as always!
For me I like running without headphones. It’s been a game changer. I run for longer and I’m more self motivated to keep going than when I have a sound on. Birds are good company too
Play - trivia nights, choirs, dancing & giggling with friends (& strangers sometimes). Great video & reminder to strive for balance. Adults with children need to model that too, I would say. Thank you.
This is wonderful - and divine timing. Thank you, Hannah!
Hannah, you continue to change my life and my brain chemistry. I can’t thank you enough and you are the only UA-camr I watch consistently 🖤 Instead of consuming hours of YT beauty videos every night, I’ve been putting on rain storm sounds with dark environments as the background. It’s my quiet meditation time that always gets me ready for bed and helps shut my brain off after the day ⛈️
thank you for this - it's so helpful (and so much more compassionate!) to think of my inner child who wants to spend all day on screens as simply not being *wise* enough to know that won't really help! because I would never shame a child for *wanting* to spend more time on their screen, so why should I get angry at that part of myself? instead I can do what I would do with that child, which is gently redirect them toward something that I know will actually make them feel better
I love this and I think I'm pretty good at taking breaks in some aspects of my life. Like taking a walk without listening to something. I can distinctly feel a tiredness in my soul when I'm in need of that. Since becoming a mom I find it harder at home though, there's so much that needs to be done while the kids are sleeping and such. I find it harder to relax knowing I should use the time to do something useful, cleaning or doing laundry or something. I'm working on it.
This also made me think of a quote I read years ago; "Time you enjoy wasting isn't wasted". I agree with it at the same time as I have reservations, but I think your take on helping your inner child find "better" oulets than screens is the missing piece for me. Screens are fine as long as it's not your whole idea of relaxing and playing.
Just watched some Tibi vids and saw them cutting up clothes to give it a new spin, so grabbed some old tees and cut up sleeves and started playing giving them a new life. I am a sucker for drawing and I have a few adult coloring books. I love going on walks so I think I will go out more during my lunch breaks. There is a Japanese garden next to my work which I haven’t visited since 2017! I recently went to some wine and paint nights, a little bit of costly play ($50) but so relaxing and so much worth it! Thank you for reminding us to embrace our inner child!
I love that in the talk of ‘play,’ any form of sport didn’t come up. Because… I would never.
Love you forever.
Wow! This resonated with me so completely thank you so much for sharing this person's comment with all of us, because I really am taking this to heart and Hope to implement it
Perfect dishwashing co-work between tasks! I love these videos.
Half way into this video as you began to talk about creativity, I truly felt that you had read my entry journal from today and were somehow here to issue the permission slip to do the things (painting for the sake of painting, putting make up on and all the glitter just to play, making any kind of art for the sake of art... just play). I paused to ponder on that and to take a deep breath and re read my journal entry. I need to do this like my life depends on it as I am deeply saddened by the fact that I am not creating at the moment.
I’m an intense overthinker so full silence doesn’t work for me because that tends to trigger my overthinking. I’ve found what works best for me is listening to quiet meditative music which helps override the overthinking part of my brain and channels it enough to a pensive “free” thinking state where my mind can wander but in a calm way rather than an anxious overthinking way.
When it comes to drawing and painting I'm always stuck in this thought pattern of "is this any good?". I wish I could go back to drawing just for the fun of it, Just DOING it, like I used to do. Maybe I can try and get my play time in when drawing with my toddler
My tired self has been drawn to UA-cam instead of my usual reading. I've also wanted to buy stuff lately. It's not good. Today I can't make myself get a shower, do housework, go to the grocery store, etc. I just want to be in bed.
Gardening! Monty Don, one of UK best known gardeners on BBC, once said; Real good gardens come from adults going oudoor, play and having fun! (or something of that note) I have three passions in life reading, cloths and house & garden. In gardening you play with light/shadow, different colours, textures and so much more to try and get a feeling, an atmospher in the space. But compared to interior design you are playing in seasons as plants etc. change but also in time as a small tree grows bigger etc. In interior design the sofa doesn’t grow bigger 😂 It is true playing for me as I let my mind wonder and I loose myself for hours and hours forgetting my telephone indoors. Try it if you havn’t! It’s a Joy!