Don't Be A Nice Guy Be Kind, What's The Difference?
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- Опубліковано 14 лип 2024
- In this video, Jeff from The Style O.G. discusses why men should not be nice guys but be kind and what the difference is. He talks about what men need to understand about being nice as opposed to being kind.
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Contact thestyleog@gmail.com - Навчання та стиль
Nice guy = selfish/inauthentic
Kind guy = selfless/authentic
Subtle but significant distinctions. Salut Style O.G.!
Salute!
Oh wait Nevermind, I just talked about myself.
I’m selfish
@@Danielblixareed not all are those things. I will agree though that nice guys are the biggest jerks and most selfish. I am a self aware nice guy. But I was more of the quiet nice guy. I was full of rage and full of resentment. Didn't talk to anyone unless I had to. Especially those I envied and wanted to be like. And those that did talk to me I would get walked all over like a door mat. The nice things I did for people weren't because i wanted to do those things obviously. It can be changed though unless you are a narcissist or have some personality disorder. They are just deep rooted beliefs learned from childhood.
@@coltenkelso5764 Glad you did it, I am in the road to change that
Just say "NO" to being a nice guy! I was best example of being a 'nice guy.' When I met girls in my teen years, I would drench them with niceness. I honestly don't think I ever said "no" to any of them. I was always available, gave them rides to school, to the mall, to their friends houses, etc. The phone rang, and I was always there to answer their calls. I even gave away my possessions, if they told me they really liked it. I just figured they'd like me more than the other guys. I gave away a gold rope chain, a leather jacket, my class ring, just to name a few. And where did it all get me??? Many lonely Friday and Saturday nights! Not to mention, literally bringing my parents to tears when they found out how many meaningful possessions I no longer had. My parents would always ask where my necklace was, where my class ring was. I'd make up some bullshit story, telling them I lost it at school somewhere. It sucked, knowing I was breaking my parents' hearts. Guys, don't ever do the stupid shit I did. It gets you nowhere fast, and not only will the girls not want you, they'll just laugh in your face for being a "nice guy!"
Appreciate the input!
So basically just be kind?
@@michaelamitchell1603 yea
Ohhh man I'm happy you learned and changed otherwise life would have been terrible for you brother
Some “nice” folks do “nice” things sometimes out of guilt as well. I like when you said kind people have limits. Great lesson.
Thanks Kris !
That is so accurate and you can tell if they are doing “nice” things out of guilt.
Right on, in my teens women would say to me I am nice to you, its code word for I pity you. I say knock it off.
That guilt comes from feeling bad for putting your needs ahead of theirs. So instead you give into the guilt and take care of the other person's needs instead of yours because you feel guilty for putting your needs ahead of theirs. It's feelings of inadequacy. That's the nice guy mentality.
"It's In My Nature to be Kind" "No More Mister Nice Guy" Salute!
Salute Victor !
Is the kind guy ever really allowed to care or think of himself without being judged as a bad person? Is it morally wrong to treat yourself to a nice watch or a bottle of gin when you could spend that money on other people?
"Don't take my kindness as a weakness" Mile High Salute!!
Salute Tomas !
@@TheStyleOG the way you speak is not kind, anyway. Even the warning "Don't take my kindness as a weakness" is rude.
Kind people do not give oral warnings, they just adjust their behavior.
@@stephjans6411 exactly👍👊
I agree with you 100%. I am a kind man and I never look for anything back I always try to treat people right and they really don't take advantage of me
Appreciate the input Tony !
I'm 41 and needed to watch this.
Stay learning !
Preaching my brotha! As a man of faith, The fruit of the spirit is Kindness!
Salute Freddie!
I was thinking that also brother. I’m playing this video for my brothers very soon
This is definitely an eye opener for me. Especially the part we’re the “nice guy gets taken advantage of”. Definitely have to be aware of that more. Thanks for wisdom OG. Salute!
Salute!
Yep. People will act like they like you and think you are cool. But as soon as they stop getting what they want from you they leave. Especially women. They just want to use you as an emotional tampon, favors, and security if they do get into a relationship with you. had this happen to me when I started saying no to some friends I was hanging out with. I started being alone. Over time though I've actually gotten happier being alone even if it's been hard.
First of all brother Jeff that suit is dope, you clean as the clap doctor. You brought up some very good points about that subject, you can when a person is trying to be nice and you can also tell when they faking it too. One thing that pisses me off is when someone is being nice to you because they need something from you and otherwise they won't give you the time of day.
Appreciate the input JT!
Good word!
It's like a the analogy of some one being Proactive vs being Reactive somewhat...with Assertive being the midground also similar to both
Brutha, I had to give you a holler because you broke that down like a scholar. You left no room for wondering what's the difference. Please keep on making these videos. A lot of men out there need this knowledge that you're sharing. God bless and right on. I didn't mean to go too old school on you, with the right on. LOL
Right on !!
5:00-5:45. Listen fellas... very very important ... I was this guy in my twenties... Fellas did. I learn I’m now. 55 and. KNOW better..... Thanks for communicating this. Jeff ✌️✌️💪💪💯
Salute Jay !
💪✌️💯
Don't expect people to treat the same back. Some will think you perceive yourself as "better than everyone else" for being good.
Nice guys finish last. A line that will never get old! Salute Style O.G
Salute!
It's an old saying that is so true. A saying doesn't get to be old, unless there is some truth behind it.
We live in a very cruel and cold world, being nice is not an option, only be good to those who are good to you, and keep away from those who don’t respect you, and if you have to protect urself , then by all means do so..very informative video tho, most ppl don’t seem to understand having a balance and are on the extreme ends
Appreciate the input Jason !
Man, so true. The worst thing I ever did was try to be a nice guy. Ended up in a deep state of depression.
That can happen because nice guys or nice people in general a people pleasers and you don’t want to be a people pleaser.
Definitely need to hear this. Been thinking about it for quite sometime. See I think most people are some mix of nice and kind. That's why it can be confusing on where people are operating from. But, it's important to make sure we check ourselves and become better.
Hope this helped !
I had the same exact thought while watching...if I self assist I find myself inbetween the both but mostly on a kind guy with a some traits of nice guy which is doing things without reciprocity sometimes...
I think it's good to say that I evolved from a nice guy to a kind man. Life taught this to me the hard, practical way.
Always evolve
what an amazing advice! as a former people pleaser i‘ve always struggled since i started to set boundaries, say no and so on. it felt selfish and ingenuine bc i truly believe my core personality is kind & i thought i had to surpress it in order not to get taken advantage of. but at the same time i wasn‘t kind to myself at all. realizing the difference between being nice and kind helps a lot - thank you!!
Excellent breakdown a lesson that needs to be learned early on in life!
Thanks !
Real talk
Definitely a lesson for everyone really!
Spot on O.G., passing this on to my teenage son. We will then have a long conversation about this topic. You gave me a great foundation to get it started.
Glad to hear it Morris !
I think that I am genuinely kind but also not having those boundaries and getting taken advantage of. I feel like this happens to me where I become a yes man then get pissed when people take advantage of it. Gotta be better.. thanks for the video
Preach it brother Jeff. I have experienced what you said in my life. When I was nicer many of them took advantage of me but as I learnt to set my limits things changed and I took control of myself and everyone around me. I am learning to be kind and cautious at the same time. Thank you. 🙏👌👍
No problem Paul !
Preach Jeff! You kept it clear and straightforward in the breakdown commentary of nice versus kind behavior/attitudes. Pretty much describing the roots of narcissism 101 which is doing something to get something which is the opposite of giving from a heart that’s already settled in love and kindness to bless when LED to do so. Keep the truth flowing, stay ever so sharp, and much respect to you Sir 🙏🏽
Respect!
Another quality video, OG Style
I honestly am surprised that this video doesn't have more views. I've seen several other videos on this same topic, and none compare to how practical and applicable the information in this video is. Thanks for clearly stating the difference between "kind" and "nice" and giving us all great tips on how not to be a pushover. Mad I didn't find out about you sooner!
Informative segment! I never thought about the difference between the two until you clarified it. Tfs.
No problem!
Thank you for this video King!
No problem!
I love this. Nailed it!
Thanks for the knowledge my brother
What up my bro Og. Great advice today my G. Keep dropping that knowledge we all need it. Love that suit bro, you are to sharp. Salute my friend
Thanks Glenn !
Well said!!!
This one hit home. Definitely subscribed. Much love and appreciation!
Much love Brandon!
Word! Great video! Very well stated. Thanks for posting.
People like to push the nice guy until he snaps and the "GREEN EYED MONSTER" comes out and the those who THINK their getting over are now running for cover, Moral of the story treat people with respect for the one you think you can take advantage of can become the nightmare. Moment Of Truth - GURU. Peace.
appreciate the input !
Truly appreciate this video my brotha
No problem!
Sharp suit; excellent thought, much appreciated. :)
Thanks Carlton !
That’s a sharp suit there my friend, loving your videos too.
Thanks Russ !
Man I had to hurry up and hit that like button on this video because this is all pure gems bro. Man you knocked it out the park with this one
Thanks Jason !
Facts. Salute to you Style O.G.!!!
Salute George !
Great info! And nice suit, Jeff!
Thanks for the video.
No problem Clarence !
Well Said, great breakdown on explaining the difference between the Two...
Thanks Beau !
OG this one is pure gold once again. Kinda reminds me of a similar perspective someone posted about the difference between “silly” and “funny”.
And yes, looking at that suit, I can almost hear the slick theme music playing when you walk in.
Jeff, I thank you so much for your 'salute' and a 'biggie' ....you pronounced my last name perfectly. A task often slaughtered. Your Chanel has become a daily 'go-to' for me. You are a definite rising star!!
Okay, this video is fire! Thank you!
Thanks!
And Yes OG is looking Great as usual!!!
Thanks Mark !
Practice saying no, when necessary. Sometimes just to practice!
Indeed !
Well said!
Thanks!
AGREED JEFF ! 👌 A kind guy holds the door for the ladies , and the nice guy holds the door for EVERYONE !💪👌❤
I like it Jonathan!
Wrong bro!
For the ladies because you want something (manipulation). For anyone because you want to (selflessness)
@@atnaanthony good point, you misunderstand my reasoning...as a young man "sowing my wild oats " I learned (through attrition) to understand and then appreciate and respect a womans opinion and they learned to appreciate and respect mine "EACH ONE TEACH ONE " as far as holding the door for everyone...I'm old school ,respect is something you earn, not something you give away frivolously.❤
@@atnaanthony
I like your response however for the ladies is traditional not necessarily nice or kind but expected in my neck of the woods.
Real talk brother
Thorough explanation Professor. Look forward to your next class! 👏👏👏
Thanks Ms T!
Dropping serious knowledge brotha, and that suit is tailored perfectly. Wow 🤩 and salute !!!!
Salute Clifton!
Very informative. Thank you, Jeff! Cheers and God bless!
Cheers Denzel!
I am thankful for the way you gave multiple examples in many situations, it gives me a clear understanding.
Excellent vid Style OG, very pertinent knowledge.
Thanks!
This video was very helpful. I totally agree with this guy.
The suit is killing it bro!! Salute!!
Thanks!
Appreciate the distinction my brother! Digging the suit and tie. Salute!
Salute Isaac !
I really agree with that. In addition, you’re a kind guy by teaching us these lessons.
Thank you. 💪🏼👍🏼
Wow this video was truly eye-opening thank you for making this video
No problem Anthony !
Hey Jeff! It’s been a while since I’ve commented on one of your vids. You hit the nail right on the head by clarifying selfishness vs selflessness. Killer suit too!!!
Thanks David !
That was very stated OG. My son and I was just having this conversation the other day.
Salute Kenneth !
You're very wise O.G. You hit the nail on the head and have helped me tremendously in finding who I am. Thank you.
My pleasure!
Every man and woman needs to watch this. You made this video easy to understand the differences, how to identify one from the other, and even warning signs for the "clever" ones out there. Thank you, sir!
Love it!! Salute!!
Salute!
Nice combination. Great video very informative I have to say I agreed with everything you said
Salute!
Another great video. Making sense and looking sharp while doing it! Thanks, O.G.
Salute Shayde!
I love your channel. It's incredibly helpful. Especially the style info. Keep up the fantastic work!
Thanks Nathan !
OG you are truly a big homie!!
Salute Omar !
man good advise! great channel!
Thanks Patrick!
Great Advice Style OG! Much Appreciated And Your Style Game Is On Point! Salute Man!
Salute Terrance!
I love how u broke down the difference between being kind and being nice. There’s a big difference
Your outfit is on point. Many times it takes life and mentorship of real friends who can and will tell you the things you don't want to hear and give you an explanation justifying their observations and concerns.
Thanks Allan !
This is gold.
Thanks!
This was necessary! You drew a clear line between the two,
Salute🥂
Salute!
Very good topic Style OG
Thanks Orlando !
Love this advice 👌🏼
Thanks Peggy !
As a kid, I learned to be a "nice guy" as you define it. Everything you say is true. Through high school, I was a "nice guy." I got taken advantage of by a lot of people, but I was *terrified* someone wouldn't like me, so I kept being "nice." Looking back on it, I can see the selfishness of it. It was all rooted in fear-based reactions and insecurities. Eventually, I realized the truth that "there's *always* someone who considers you the villain in their story." Being universally liked is impossible. During my late teens and most of my 20s, I was what I would describe as friendly but aloof. I'd been burned too many times by being "nice," so I didn't let people get too close. There were some exceptions, my wife (who I met at 23) being one of them, but it wasn't until my late 20s or early 30s that I matured into your definition of a "kind" guy. Again, I agree with everything you say about that too.
Now, in my 50s, I'm *very* happy with who I am and the life my wife & I have built. As you say, my kindness comes from that place of security and self-worth.
This is the first of your vids I've seen, but I'll definitely check out more of them.
Very powerful speech Jeff, thank you for sharing your knowledge.
thank you for that O.G . 100% FACTS !!
No problem!
Well said.
Thanks !
I have learnt so much from this.
Hey Jeff this is Donald from Cincinnati just wanna say you are speaking the truth keep coming with the great advice and as always Salute
Salute Donald !
@@TheStyleOG Hey Jeff how are you doing tonight I got a ? For you and I need a response.i just watched a video of a couple on a interview date and he asked her if she dated offten.and she said not often 1/2
And his response was and I qoute he said SHE NEEDED A YOUNG GUY TO HIT THAT is the interview over?
I'm surprised no one asked you for the name of that smooth background music. I'd love to know! Great video! New subscriber here!❤
Excellent video !
Thanks!
I Agree. It has always been the case that I get joy from seeing the joy in others eyes when I do or give something to them. Good video Style OG..
Thanks!
Same here..
Facts! Salute!
Salute !
Hey Style OG, love ur videos man keep it up!!
Thanks Jack !
I just caught wind of your videos and I gotta say I'm a fan. From your style to your approach in life. I can say I used to be the "nice" guy and over time learned the difference between being "nice" and being kind. I've taken on a much kind approach to people and how I carry myself when approaching situations where I have to draw the line. When I seen this video I've been given a much clearer understanding of the difference between the 2 words. Thanks for educating me on that and I look forward to seeing more dope videos. By the way, your suit is on point!
Appreciate it Matt !
I just came across this on my page. There is a difference between a pushover and a good man. A good man will tell you what he wants in the relationship. He has respect for himself, knows his own worth, and doesn't have a problem telling the person he's dating when they cross the line. He will show them respect as long as it is given in return and knows when he should stop or leave. A pushover has no respect or boundaries. They have no opinions outside of themselves and the compliments they give are not out of generosity, but to only please you. Everything you can and do will never be wrong in their eyes. You cannot take them seriously because they only agree with you instead of taking the time to understand your needs and wants.
Great distinction! And that tie and suit is on point!! 👍
Thanks Issac !
Pow! Love today's suit and tie --, Mr. Gordon. Excellent advice, too. Cheers and Salute.
Cheers !
Nice way to explain the differences. And man that suit is proper! I saw this movie (nice vs kindness) as a young man and immediately made adjustments. Thank you for another awesome video Sir...
My man !
There is nothing wrong doing a kind favor to help out someone, however, doing too much without restrictions makes you a push-over. Know the power of saying NO, people will respect you more.
Appreciate the input Larry !
Look real sharp
Great analogy. You approached this topic logically and your style on clothing is on point. Suggestion. Places where one can find particular items of dress and of leisure. Salute!
Oh man, I needed this.
Hope it helped !
Your explanation and suit and tie are on point O.G.. Great video. Salute!
Salute Damon !
Nice video Jeff. Very informative as well. Nice suit, nice tie. On point as always.
Thanks Melvin!
Thanks for helping understand the difference my brother
No problem!