I gave my ex a second chance and a few years later he up a left me for another woman. We we're married 15 years at the time and had a 5 year old. He married her and after 10 years dumped her for her best friend. He dumped his 3rd wife after 5 years. People that cheat rarely change.
the key is to destroy them so bad after the first time they get shaken to their very core.... it's only then that people will truly change their values.
In my younger days, I wasn't blameless so I've been able to forgive others with genuine remorse and it's not actually bitten me in the butt. However, the first time I actually hurt someone I love, that was the end of it and I now keep strict boundaries. I've known people who, had things been different, we might have been together but they aren't different so we're not. Not sure what's meant by an "emotional affair" but it seems to be a woolly concept that gets abused a lot.
Imagine being selfish enough that you rope your (especially minor) kids into helping keep your affair a secret. That is beyond disgusting. I feel like Charlene and the second OP's wife would likely be best friends if they ever met, they're both insane. Also, the video cuts off at the end.
so the story with charlene, op's partner is amazing for how understanding and willing to help op feel better about this creepy messaging shit. that's a GREAT partner. op didn't even have to ask, and their partner was like 'hey, here, this'll help you feel better, I'll get you access to everything, babe.' so congrats to op for finding a great guy
Tbh it’s weirder that Charlene published DH’s personal contact info than that she made a fake Facebook page. That’s seriously messed up; she exposed him to so many potential problems by blaming him for harassment, like jeopardizing his job and reputation.
Yeah, definitely a psycho B. I'm glad that they don't live near his hometown although now they might feel awkward visiting his sister's family if this stuff starts happening again. And who knows if she will escalate.😨
Also if he forgave the infidelity you know that she would have lost even more respect for him and would have convinced herself that she could do it again. She is the type who floats through life without ever facing consequences.
I think OP in story one handled everything pretty well, and now she knows she has an honest, loyal husband. However, now they both have to deal with the possibility of his ex being a crazy stalker...
Charlene is probably regretting her decision to break up and wants to ruin his marriage so she can try her luck in getting him back. Only logical explanation otherwise she’s just a psycho ex girlfriend. Creepy weird!
Yeah. I think that too. That's the kind of messed up logic some people have. All they think about is themselves. Good she left. She did him a favor. He dodged a bullet there.
It's the Gamble part of the equation. Dopamine, Serotonin & Oxytocin are a hell of a combo. That's why they call it affair fog. It creeps in with being flattered & letting the inappropriate behavior slide. It snowballs very fast. Still no excuse. But there are people whose brains process impulse control worse than average. That initial inappropriate behavior in an average person is either shut down immediately or it goes right over their heads sometimes, and the snow doesn't get a chance to clump together. Cheaters get a taste of that rush of feel good neurotransmitters when exposed to the inappropriate behavior & each time they tell themselves just a little bit more & the justifications get easier and easier to make even as they get bigger. They really should start having a type of behavioral physical education class just like regular P.E. in school so kids learn how to work those self discipline muscles early & often.
Not excusing the wife, but maybe part of it is that they married too young. 19 is so young to get married. I know there are people who marry young with thriving marriages. But it's risky.
Me neither. I just don't understand. If they were so bored in thier marriage, then why don't they talk to thier partner? It can be worked out if you just talk to them. Whether it's by getting a new hobby with them, planning a getaway with them or simply just helping with the house necessities more often. It's really sad when people just give up thier marriages and happy home lives for an affair. 😢 A moment of pleasure and thrill isn't worth a lifetime of love and happiness. ❤
"she didn't think how devastating it would be"? That is a bullshiv answer or comment. Any adult would know what an affair would do. I was told by my ex that "I think you would be hurt...just mad". I didnt accept that crap excuse from her..in fact it just amplified the hurt.
Didn't think how...that just shows how little regard the cheater had for their partner or the relationship with them. They're literally indicting themselves when they say that. Good riddance.
First story...girl get some therapy. Even though hubby has shown it wasn't him, and Charlene and her friends tried messing with you at the start of the relationship...OP still has some lingering doubts and acts like a part of her believes it. Its not hard to figure out- Charlene is mad he moved on and for her, he's 'the one that got away'. Probably loves drama and not quite right so she and her friends find pleasure in messing with him. Them showing up in town just got their cattiness flowing.
@@WanRa28 Doesn't matter. There are people out there (regardless of gender) who always want what they can't have but once they get it, they get bored and toss it away... and some do that to people too. The fact that he shrugged, moved on and now has a wonderful, stable life? That's like lighting a fire under her, she didn't necessarily want him for herself anymore because she was bored and there was no challenge, but once he proved he didn't need her and he wasn't going to spend his life thinking about her, mourning their relationship, and that he was now completely unobtainable? That's when the desire comes out to do things like this, the jealousy, the spite. Some people just suck like that. Makes zero sense to me, really, because I don't play these kinds of twisted mind games. but sadly I have met people like this, and it's toxic as hell to be around them.
Affair guy: Admit to yourself that you are so relieved that this happened and you now have an out. You can build a new life with the help of your Alpha daughter and the twins that can see whats what, and let the Airhead Cheer Leader High School Sweetheart that you married get a taste of growing up.
Unfortunately in modern times they way things are set up people spend more time at work with co workers than they do with their own families. Edit: in no way is it an excuse it is just an unfortunate thing
I'm glad that Story 1 ended without this couple's life getting blown up. So many situations like this explode even if the 'warning' really is fake like this. As for the question about having ever had an ex who would do something crazy like this, I've had more than my share of psychos, but this story brought one in particular to mind, because I was the girl warning the other girl in that situation, and unfortunately, the info I had was true. I'd found out that what I thought was my gf 'E' was still dating her supposed ex, 'A' at the time that she was dating me. After compiling all the sexts and the messages either indicating we were in a relationship or even craptalking about A that E had sent me (*Months* of stuff.) I sent the proof I had, telling her that while I was sorry to do this, she deserved to know, and A said I was delusional and doing it for attention, even going so far as to blast it through our friendgroup to make me look crazy (Sorry, who wanted attention, A? I came to you privately out or respect to warn you and had never pulled crap before, but okay.) and actively convinced most of our mutual friends that I was a bad person who would blow up their lives too (Again, A being the one who blew up lives.) and cost me a good portion of my friendships for trying to do the right thing. E, being a coward who desperately wants everyone to like her and tell her how amazing she is, played along, acting like a victim, and generally encouraging A's refusal to see that anything was wrong with their relationship. Being quite young at the time, I was pretty hurt by it, but now, I'm kinda amused by just how much they deserved each other. Both living in their own bubbles, E cheating on A all the time (Often even claiming assault when she can't convince A that nothing happened. Yes, she is *that* girl. I wish I was joking.), and A actively dumping E whenever she feels she's not getting enough attention/gifts/money/etc from E or gets bored and wants to hook up with someone else for a few months, leaving E running back to any former flings with 'apologies' she never means in a desperate plea for attention. The more I think about it, the more of a relief it is that two people like that are dating each other, and not normal, decent human beings. (Not saying I'm one of those, just that I'm glad they've not upended anyone else's lives since mine. xP )
Please use paragraphs and line spacing.. walls of text are not really useful in conveying what you want other than making folks think you failed writing classes.
I think that having pride as easy, forgiving is hard. Does that mean that everybody should immediately forgive and forget? No. Especially with the reasons she gave. She needs to do what he says, and give him space, or she really isn't sorry and he shouldn't go through with it. I don't think he should do it because of pride. I also think that pride as the kind of concepts that is difficult to define these days. I do think it is possible to stay in a relationship like that and have one's pride, however, I think trust is a bigger issue. Can he ever trust her again?
I felt so weird abt how hes like "as a man" after everything like. I get pride for who you are but an idea of "im not a man if i forgive her" feels like a toxic ideation. Especially if he does love her. Ot doesnt make someone less of a man to forgive someone and instead of "dignity as a man" its just the fact he isnt comfortable with it. Bringing up its abt his dignity of a man makes kt feel like hes making an oblogation instead of a choice of the matter.
@@wendydarling8730 yeah i dont disagree I just findit odd he is saying its basically imasculating to be with someone like that. Which is an odd mentality to have that "real men dont get cheated on"
@@Kat-ov9du I'd say being with a wife that slept with another's man is quite emasculating, let alone staying with them after knowing they preferred another over you for their nightly escapades.
@OneManWolfPack thats the thing thoI dont think its a gendered thing tho. Why is it only immaculating? Id just call it humiliating instead. Does that mean if a woman is cheated on she is immasculated? Is her femininity degraded because someone cheated on her? I dont think it should be a gendered problem and its odd to me theyre making it one or putting so much emphasis on it is all
Seeing Part 1 of the second story and I'm going to take a wild guess the twin daughters caught the mom cheating, mom is sad about being caught and daughters trying to make it up to dad without telling him. Edit after update 2: damn... I called it.
Story2: The fact that OP had to use cash because OP knew she would monitor his cards was disturbing - especially having to disable the location on his phone too to ensure she wouldn't stalk him and find him. I'm glad he left. This woman was so self absorbed, manipulative and controlling with both him and their daughters that it's just sickening. I don't think OP realised that he was in such an abusive relationship. If possible, I hope he can get the girls away from her too.
15:50 - "Bad, but it could've been worse?" "Bad, but there's some good?" Cheating is not "bad, but also some good." Hiding that cheating and conspiring with OP's daughters to keep him in the dark is not "bad, but also some good" neither. What could possibly fit into that category in older daughter's mind? "Hey, mom's a lying cheater who got your youngest daughters to accept this and lie on her behalf to keep you around...buuut no one's smoking crack yet, so there's some good too."
"Then a few days later husband started getting weird texts and calls from people he didn't know..." Christ. That sounds like Weird Al's new parody of "Rhinestone Cowboy."
For the second story; 100% the oldest child is awesome, also he is right that you can't stay in a marraige after your wife treats you like that just to have the thrills of sneaking around to feel young again (plus the obvious reason). What is to say she won't get that urge to feel young again and it will be OK cause dear, wonderful love of my life forgave me once. Hope you are doing well and your twins are also adjusting to their new life.
Honestly if I was cheated on I'd never be able to forgive that. As far as I'm concerned the relationship would have ended the moment my partner cheated.
I don't have kids, but I am always blown away by the number of times children know about affairs, agree to side with the cheater, and are forgiven by the betrayed spouse.
You know, to add insult to a mountain of injury in story 2, this woman can't even get over herself and her needs enough to give OP the space he needs to process everything that has happened. She can't even give him that much. The only way you can stay with someone so selfish is if you're okay suppressing your own needs and wants for the rest of your life. I'm glad he has given *himself* a second chance to have a good life.
That's what sociopaths and narcissists do...they try to crowd your space and deprive the betrayed partner of the ability to reflect enough to make logical-over-emotional decisions. This way, while they can maximize their gaslighting and manipulation attempts on the betrayed partner into caving to their demands to to keep leeching off their energy under the auspice of "making it work"!
Today's Content: 00:00 I Got A Message From My Husband's Alleged Affair Partner - Original Post 08:43 I Got A Message From My Husband's Alleged Affair Partner - UPDATE 12:14 Something's Not Right With My Wife - Part 1 19:26 Something's Not Right With My Wife - Part 2 Enjoy! Edit: I must have had a problem with the export and we're missing 10 seconds from the end. Sorry about that! Here's the missing text: "EDIT: My best friend said I’m in shape, make decent money, and am a nice guy so I’ll be in high demand with women our age. To be honest, though, I think I’d rather be alone and live somewhat of a selfish life. Do what I want to do, eat what I want, go where I want, and not worry about anyone else for a while. "
Glad you added this so I could read how the last story ended. I don't think you pinned your comment though, because I had to go a little ways into the comment section to find it.
In regards to the second story, if the wife is that upset over potentially losing her husband, why would she do something that would risk it? Makes no sense.
I think you CAN keep your self respect and forgive someone who has an affair, but ONLY if you are willing (and I don't think you need to be) to go through a lot of hard work AND, most importantly, have a spouse who is truly repentant and willing to go through even harder work. The spouse in this story was still just thinking about herself and how she will make him come around and make him forgive her. She didn't step up and do any work at all or seem to be thinking about HIM at all. That's why OP can't respect himself to go back to her because it's clear to him that he would be going back to someone who doesn't respect him. My heart breaks for him and for their daughters who will continue to bear the brunt of their mother's narcissism.
I don’t think you can come back from cheating. It’s the worst betrayal in terms of marriage. I think if you stay with someone after they cheat on you, then you are giving up your pride. There’s is no way you can 100 percent trust that person again, and that isn’t a way to live when there is someone out there that will respect you, unlike the person that cheated.
If one of my friends or family members was caught cheating by me, I would throw them under the bus ASAP without a single hesitation. That shit is not OK.
Women can be psycho like in post one. I had a similar experience a long time ago. Back in the 90's while in college an old fling who wanted to be more called my phone and entered random numbers until she was able to get my answering machine code (I found out later after I changed it). She then waited for my current girlfriend to leave a message with her number (she was being funny since i had not called her all week, it was midterms, electrical engineering, and i was hella busy). Old fling then called my girlfriend and said i was cheating on her and went as far as having someone who sounded like me on the call. The only reason it did not work is that I was actually at my girlfriends house when she called. We both had a laugh at how desperate she was but it could have gone another way. LoL
Respect to the daughter who went on General destroy you mode. She is a true daughter of a loving father. There is no excuse, you cheat, you deserve to be abandoned by right. You get cheated on? You deserve to free yourself from the clutch of deceit and betrayal. Fuck all that gaslighting and manipulative bullshit.
The messages In Story 1 being timed for when OP and her husband were apart has a serious "the call is coming from inside the house" vibe. Either someone in the house they were visiting is in on it, or Charlene and co. have some software means of tracking when OP and hubby are texting each other. The former is more likely.
My husband and I use the same phone password. We each have the understanding that either one of us can look through our phones at any time. We’ve never felt the need too. When you know, you just know.
the problem with a mate that cheats is it becomes a loss of trust between the two and i've had friends who've had mates that have cheated and they've stayed but it takes years to rebuild that trust, and along with that rebuilding you have to literally forgive and forget you can't do one without doing the other because if you keep bringing it up through out the rest of the marriage then you haven't truly forgiven and you might as well have divorced in the first place and save yourself years of anguish pain anger and resentment
Hey Lost, just a friendly pronunciation guide. Egregious is pronounced ee-gree-jus. Keep up the good work. So impressed you can speak so well in a second language. I'm wish I could speak my second language half as well as you can.
“What do you do when you get a message your partners cheating” I do research. And then if they’re cheating I gtfo of that situation ain’t nobody worth that pain.
Well. On the second story, yes. It’s possible. I’ve seen a few marriages go through this. I kind of went through this but before we got married. We still need help and counseling, it’s a struggle, but I feel like we both have our dignity as people. But I am a far more caring and forgiving person then the OP in that story.
So you dragged your children into it as well then completely dismissed what your s.o. asked for desperately? Or was it your significant other that did it? Because _that_ is what is happening. The cheating is not the only issue; there is a laundry list of red flags screaming DO NOT GET BACK TOGETHER! He will NOT have his dignity or self-respect because he admitted that she will twist his words and continue to harass until she gets her way. OP repeatedly said how he knows this. He won’t be staying because he truly wants to; he admitted she will _manipulate_ and _wear him down_ to stay if he goes back. You’re far more caring and giving than OP? That’s debatable and definitely not words most would use... I’ll go positive- Maybe naive and hopeful? Or stubborn and determined? Because staying with a cheating spouse has _nothing_ to do with who is more caring or forgiving. You can care deeply for a person as someone you spent years with and forgive them for their actions but be unwilling to put yourself in that situation again or unable to see them the same anymore.
When you have to move 100 miles away into the middle of the woods, turn of location services and only pay in cash just to get time alone to think things over, that speaks volumes!
7:17 "we recently just bought a condo" Yea that wouldn't stop some guys. Was in a computer lab/study room in college and this guy had a LOUD conversation with his friend. He said how he wanted hook up with girl A because he was about to get an apartment with his GIRLFRIEND and couldn't sleep with Girl A when they got it. His buddy was telling him no because he liked and wanted to ask out Girl A. The guy said "well he could still have her after he's done but he still wanted to sleep with Girl A." TLDR: there is no logic to cheating
If you suspect your partner of cheating and you guys are on the same phone plan. Just go to the carrier and request a copy of the messages and stuff. My friend had this situation, once he learned that he could do that. It was smoother sailing. Plus it never hurts to gather evidence and get them out of your life.
Listing to so many relationship issues just makes me glad I have no problem being alone, I do not suffer from loneliness. With my mental issues I would probably make a horrible partner anyway and I would not want to inflict that on anyone.
First one. OP starts by saying her husband is nothing but amazing to her. But, she still lets these bitches get in her head. Her husband was very kind with her about it, but he deserves and has earned more unconditional love and trust from OP.
"I will fight until my last breath" *Gunshot* There, that's your last breath, now leave me alone Seriously though, screw her, go somewhere else if you can
Ex girlfriend wants him back your in the way. My ex stocked me for 20 years after we and my wife were married. Despite repeated attempts to tell her I'm not interested.
To answer the q on the begining of the video...considering we both work full time and have 4 girls under the age of 8...i will be damn impressed how the hell she found the time and energy for it. Lol.
Story 1: this girl had claimed that op had hacked into her accounts and then made the claim that op did which led to op being harassed. How did this ex even know about op and her relationship with the Husband? It’s just really shady and I don’t believe that shit for a second.
Although it is also shady the conversations are when op wasn’t with him. Still. I think there’s something going on with other people telling the ex and her friends things
Story 1 - this might be a type of defamation of character. Charlene is actively trying to brek up a relationship. This may escalate, you may need to seek legal assistance with this.
It may be an unpopular opinion, but divorce is not always the answer. It really depends on the circumstances (past problems, family dynamics, even age, # of yrs married, THEIR spiritual beliefs etc. ).I am not advocating for this person to remain in this situation, I think it was horrible for the mother to involve the kids. However, in many cases, there are always two sides to these stories. Furthermore, this person needs to stay or go. This hurts the kids too.
I had a crazy current who acted like the first story. She said someone messaged her that I was cheating. I admired the fakes were really good because the speech patern was very much like mine. 2-3 years later I discovered that the account messaging her belonged to her. I still remember the user name.
The second story was a lot like the recent events with my family. However, the roles were reversed. And it gets worse. Yes, my dad attempted an affair. But it was a sweetheart scam. I'm the last to know.
I really hope the older sister in the second story does make life hell for the twins they need a hard and well deserved lesson about cheating and covering for cheaters
Story 2 OP sorry to say their is no way to stay in the marriage and trust her again. If you stay she will cheat again so get out while you still have a good head on your shoulder's. It wont get any better for you she i trying everything she can to gaslight you into thinking it's okay to cheat on you.
I gave my ex a second chance and a few years later he up a left me for another woman. We we're married 15 years at the time and had a 5 year old. He married her and after 10 years dumped her for her best friend. He dumped his 3rd wife after 5 years. People that cheat rarely change.
the key is to destroy them so bad after the first time they get shaken to their very core.... it's only then that people will truly change their values.
In my younger days, I wasn't blameless so I've been able to forgive others with genuine remorse and it's not actually bitten me in the butt. However, the first time I actually hurt someone I love, that was the end of it and I now keep strict boundaries. I've known people who, had things been different, we might have been together but they aren't different so we're not. Not sure what's meant by an "emotional affair" but it seems to be a woolly concept that gets abused a lot.
In the second story. Kudos to the eldest daughter for handling it like that. Love her.
She's a warrior!! OP raised her right.
It was really exciting to listen about her actions. She is great, OP should be so proud of her.
She is the champion in the story for sure.
Imagine being selfish enough that you rope your (especially minor) kids into helping keep your affair a secret. That is beyond disgusting. I feel like Charlene and the second OP's wife would likely be best friends if they ever met, they're both insane.
Also, the video cuts off at the end.
So that wasn't just me? Good to know I'm not the only one it stopped after "selfish" for.
so the story with charlene, op's partner is amazing for how understanding and willing to help op feel better about this creepy messaging shit. that's a GREAT partner. op didn't even have to ask, and their partner was like 'hey, here, this'll help you feel better, I'll get you access to everything, babe.' so congrats to op for finding a great guy
Tbh it’s weirder that Charlene published DH’s personal contact info than that she made a fake Facebook page. That’s seriously messed up; she exposed him to so many potential problems by blaming him for harassment, like jeopardizing his job and reputation.
Yeah, definitely a psycho B. I'm glad that they don't live near his hometown although now they might feel awkward visiting his sister's family if this stuff starts happening again. And who knows if she will escalate.😨
I think the second story isn't about losing his pride but his trust. How could you ever trust someone who cheated on you?
His self-respect.
If he thinks about it as a pride/self respect issue, then he is right, he will lose it it.
Also if he forgave the infidelity you know that she would have lost even more respect for him and would have convinced herself that she could do it again. She is the type who floats through life without ever facing consequences.
Yeah, his wife nuked that marriage into oblivion, There was zero trust, zero respect, and a farce of love left.
I think OP in story one handled everything pretty well, and now she knows she has an honest, loyal husband. However, now they both have to deal with the possibility of his ex being a crazy stalker...
Charlene is probably regretting her decision to break up and wants to ruin his marriage so she can try her luck in getting him back. Only logical explanation otherwise she’s just a psycho ex girlfriend. Creepy weird!
Yeah. I think that too. That's the kind of messed up logic some people have. All they think about is themselves. Good she left. She did him a favor. He dodged a bullet there.
"Why can't it be both?"
"Let's try and keep a positive attitude, Mr. Commenter."
(Bonus points for getting the reference.)
I'm pretty sure she is just psycho.
Charlene? OP should have sent her back "So are you the girl he found for US?" That would have shut her down.
Maybe not. Charlene sounds like the kind of nut that would use any opportunity to get in the door.
That's a great clapback.
😆
"It's great of you being so willing to become our catamite! I've always fantasized about having a masochistic sex slave. "
How can people gamble with what they claim is the person they truly love, their home and future? Their children too? I'll never understand.
This exactly ☝️
It's the Gamble part of the equation. Dopamine, Serotonin & Oxytocin are a hell of a combo. That's why they call it affair fog. It creeps in with being flattered & letting the inappropriate behavior slide. It snowballs very fast. Still no excuse. But there are people whose brains process impulse control worse than average. That initial inappropriate behavior in an average person is either shut down immediately or it goes right over their heads sometimes, and the snow doesn't get a chance to clump together. Cheaters get a taste of that rush of feel good neurotransmitters when exposed to the inappropriate behavior & each time they tell themselves just a little bit more & the justifications get easier and easier to make even as they get bigger. They really should start having a type of behavioral physical education class just like regular P.E. in school so kids learn how to work those self discipline muscles early & often.
Not excusing the wife, but maybe part of it is that they married too young. 19 is so young to get married. I know there are people who marry young with thriving marriages. But it's risky.
They be thinking with their genitals that's why
Me neither. I just don't understand. If they were so bored in thier marriage, then why don't they talk to thier partner? It can be worked out if you just talk to them. Whether it's by getting a new hobby with them, planning a getaway with them or simply just helping with the house necessities more often. It's really sad when people just give up thier marriages and happy home lives for an affair. 😢 A moment of pleasure and thrill isn't worth a lifetime of love and happiness. ❤
Living with dignity and self respect something no often seen on Reddit
2nd story: It sucks what happened to the OP but at least he can take some comfort in knowing his kids are on his side
"she didn't think how devastating it would be"? That is a bullshiv answer or comment. Any adult would know what an affair would do. I was told by my ex that "I think you would be hurt...just mad". I didnt accept that crap excuse from her..in fact it just amplified the hurt.
Didn't think how...that just shows how little regard the cheater had for their partner or the relationship with them. They're literally indicting themselves when they say that. Good riddance.
First story...girl get some therapy. Even though hubby has shown it wasn't him, and Charlene and her friends tried messing with you at the start of the relationship...OP still has some lingering doubts and acts like a part of her believes it. Its not hard to figure out- Charlene is mad he moved on and for her, he's 'the one that got away'. Probably loves drama and not quite right so she and her friends find pleasure in messing with him. Them showing up in town just got their cattiness flowing.
WITH TIME HELP FROM HIS BROTHER
But...it was Charlene that dumped him
@@WanRa28 Doesn't matter. There are people out there (regardless of gender) who always want what they can't have but once they get it, they get bored and toss it away... and some do that to people too. The fact that he shrugged, moved on and now has a wonderful, stable life? That's like lighting a fire under her, she didn't necessarily want him for herself anymore because she was bored and there was no challenge, but once he proved he didn't need her and he wasn't going to spend his life thinking about her, mourning their relationship, and that he was now completely unobtainable? That's when the desire comes out to do things like this, the jealousy, the spite. Some people just suck like that. Makes zero sense to me, really, because I don't play these kinds of twisted mind games. but sadly I have met people like this, and it's toxic as hell to be around them.
I couldn't stay with my husband if he cheated on me! My mind would destroy that marriage..
It's so great that both partners r transparent n united to deflect horrible physco stalker former gf
Affair guy: Admit to yourself that you are so relieved that this happened and you now have an out. You can build a new life with the help of your Alpha daughter and the twins that can see whats what, and let the Airhead Cheer Leader High School Sweetheart that you married get a taste of growing up.
Dignity and respect. Once the trust is gone, there's no foundation.
2nd the twins where manipulated by the mother. Don't be to hard on them.
For me, cheating would be a deal breaker! And communication would be thru a lawyer.
I'm so glad that people are embracing their investigative skills and common sense too
Why is it always the co-worker or a friend?!
Because of proximity, and lack of boundaries.
Unfortunately in modern times they way things are set up people spend more time at work with co workers than they do with their own families.
Edit: in no way is it an excuse it is just an unfortunate thing
I'm glad that Story 1 ended without this couple's life getting blown up. So many situations like this explode even if the 'warning' really is fake like this.
As for the question about having ever had an ex who would do something crazy like this, I've had more than my share of psychos, but this story brought one in particular to mind, because I was the girl warning the other girl in that situation, and unfortunately, the info I had was true. I'd found out that what I thought was my gf 'E' was still dating her supposed ex, 'A' at the time that she was dating me. After compiling all the sexts and the messages either indicating we were in a relationship or even craptalking about A that E had sent me (*Months* of stuff.) I sent the proof I had, telling her that while I was sorry to do this, she deserved to know, and A said I was delusional and doing it for attention, even going so far as to blast it through our friendgroup to make me look crazy (Sorry, who wanted attention, A? I came to you privately out or respect to warn you and had never pulled crap before, but okay.) and actively convinced most of our mutual friends that I was a bad person who would blow up their lives too (Again, A being the one who blew up lives.) and cost me a good portion of my friendships for trying to do the right thing. E, being a coward who desperately wants everyone to like her and tell her how amazing she is, played along, acting like a victim, and generally encouraging A's refusal to see that anything was wrong with their relationship. Being quite young at the time, I was pretty hurt by it, but now, I'm kinda amused by just how much they deserved each other. Both living in their own bubbles, E cheating on A all the time (Often even claiming assault when she can't convince A that nothing happened. Yes, she is *that* girl. I wish I was joking.), and A actively dumping E whenever she feels she's not getting enough attention/gifts/money/etc from E or gets bored and wants to hook up with someone else for a few months, leaving E running back to any former flings with 'apologies' she never means in a desperate plea for attention. The more I think about it, the more of a relief it is that two people like that are dating each other, and not normal, decent human beings. (Not saying I'm one of those, just that I'm glad they've not upended anyone else's lives since mine. xP )
Please use paragraphs and line spacing.. walls of text are not really useful in conveying what you want other than making folks think you failed writing classes.
I think that having pride as easy, forgiving is hard. Does that mean that everybody should immediately forgive and forget? No. Especially with the reasons she gave. She needs to do what he says, and give him space, or she really isn't sorry and he shouldn't go through with it. I don't think he should do it because of pride. I also think that pride as the kind of concepts that is difficult to define these days. I do think it is possible to stay in a relationship like that and have one's pride, however, I think trust is a bigger issue. Can he ever trust her again?
Where he says pride, I read as self-respect. Plug that in, and it makes perfect sense.
I felt so weird abt how hes like "as a man" after everything like. I get pride for who you are but an idea of "im not a man if i forgive her" feels like a toxic ideation. Especially if he does love her. Ot doesnt make someone less of a man to forgive someone and instead of "dignity as a man" its just the fact he isnt comfortable with it. Bringing up its abt his dignity of a man makes kt feel like hes making an oblogation instead of a choice of the matter.
@@wendydarling8730 yeah i dont disagree I just findit odd he is saying its basically imasculating to be with someone like that. Which is an odd mentality to have that "real men dont get cheated on"
@@Kat-ov9du I'd say being with a wife that slept with another's man is quite emasculating, let alone staying with them after knowing they preferred another over you for their nightly escapades.
@OneManWolfPack thats the thing thoI dont think its a gendered thing tho. Why is it only immaculating? Id just call it humiliating instead. Does that mean if a woman is cheated on she is immasculated? Is her femininity degraded because someone cheated on her? I dont think it should be a gendered problem and its odd to me theyre making it one or putting so much emphasis on it is all
Seeing Part 1 of the second story and I'm going to take a wild guess the twin daughters caught the mom cheating, mom is sad about being caught and daughters trying to make it up to dad without telling him.
Edit after update 2: damn... I called it.
story 1: Charlene is pissed because op's husband moved on instead of staying miserable and hung up on her after the broke up with him
Story2: The fact that OP had to use cash because OP knew she would monitor his cards was disturbing - especially having to disable the location on his phone too to ensure she wouldn't stalk him and find him.
I'm glad he left.
This woman was so self absorbed, manipulative and controlling with both him and their daughters that it's just sickening.
I don't think OP realised that he was in such an abusive relationship.
If possible, I hope he can get the girls away from her too.
The last post needs to speak an divorce lawyer... tbh there is no going back. That trust is broken
That first husband knew exactly what to do to diffuse that lol
Well done for standing together on this and trusting each other!
Another epic video! Keep going LG
Thank you!
15:50 - "Bad, but it could've been worse?" "Bad, but there's some good?"
Cheating is not "bad, but also some good." Hiding that cheating and conspiring with OP's daughters to keep him in the dark is not "bad, but also some good" neither.
What could possibly fit into that category in older daughter's mind? "Hey, mom's a lying cheater who got your youngest daughters to accept this and lie on her behalf to keep you around...buuut no one's smoking crack yet, so there's some good too."
Maybe she thought well at least it's over? Not that that counts as good in my opinion
She has know right to anything or to demand anything!
"Then a few days later husband started getting weird texts and calls from people he didn't know..." Christ. That sounds like Weird Al's new parody of "Rhinestone Cowboy."
There´s something lost at the end of the video. Otherwise nice one.
You're right, must have had a problem with the export. It won't happen again :(
@@LostGenre no big deal. Still a nice video.
@@LostGenre any way to fix it or at the least let us know what he said, you kinda left us hanging on his last words lol
Sure thing, I just edited my pinned comment to add the missing text from the edit. :)
Yeah I was confused when I suddenly just stopped
Epic videos! I love the stories. I wish they end in a more gruesome manner.
For the second story; 100% the oldest child is awesome, also he is right that you can't stay in a marraige after your wife treats you like that just to have the thrills of sneaking around to feel young again (plus the obvious reason). What is to say she won't get that urge to feel young again and it will be OK cause dear, wonderful love of my life forgave me once. Hope you are doing well and your twins are also adjusting to their new life.
I refuse to subscribe to any other story channel. Yours is the best!
Honestly if I was cheated on I'd never be able to forgive that. As far as I'm concerned the relationship would have ended the moment my partner cheated.
I don't have kids, but I am always blown away by the number of times children know about affairs, agree to side with the cheater, and are forgiven by the betrayed spouse.
You know, to add insult to a mountain of injury in story 2, this woman can't even get over herself and her needs enough to give OP the space he needs to process everything that has happened. She can't even give him that much. The only way you can stay with someone so selfish is if you're okay suppressing your own needs and wants for the rest of your life. I'm glad he has given *himself* a second chance to have a good life.
That's what sociopaths and narcissists do...they try to crowd your space and deprive the betrayed partner of the ability to reflect enough to make logical-over-emotional decisions. This way, while they can maximize their gaslighting and manipulation attempts on the betrayed partner into caving to their demands to to keep leeching off their energy under the auspice of "making it work"!
Today's Content:
00:00 I Got A Message From My Husband's Alleged Affair Partner - Original Post
08:43 I Got A Message From My Husband's Alleged Affair Partner - UPDATE
12:14 Something's Not Right With My Wife - Part 1
19:26 Something's Not Right With My Wife - Part 2
Enjoy!
Edit: I must have had a problem with the export and we're missing 10 seconds from the end. Sorry about that!
Here's the missing text:
"EDIT: My best friend said I’m in shape, make decent money, and am a nice guy so I’ll be in high demand with women our age. To be honest, though, I think I’d rather be alone and live somewhat of a selfish life. Do what I want to do, eat what I want, go where I want, and not worry about anyone else for a while. "
Glad you added this so I could read how the last story ended. I don't think you pinned your comment though, because I had to go a little ways into the comment section to find it.
Charlene needs professional help! She’s a crazy stalker!
In regards to the second story, if the wife is that upset over potentially losing her husband, why would she do something that would risk it? Makes no sense.
She was sure she would get away with it.Nobody would find out.
Damn the end spooked me just cutting out like that; i thought my phone or headphones weren't working.
I think you CAN keep your self respect and forgive someone who has an affair, but ONLY if you are willing (and I don't think you need to be) to go through a lot of hard work AND, most importantly, have a spouse who is truly repentant and willing to go through even harder work. The spouse in this story was still just thinking about herself and how she will make him come around and make him forgive her. She didn't step up and do any work at all or seem to be thinking about HIM at all. That's why OP can't respect himself to go back to her because it's clear to him that he would be going back to someone who doesn't respect him. My heart breaks for him and for their daughters who will continue to bear the brunt of their mother's narcissism.
I don’t think you can come back from cheating. It’s the worst betrayal in terms of marriage. I think if you stay with someone after they cheat on you, then you are giving up your pride. There’s is no way you can 100 percent trust that person again, and that isn’t a way to live when there is someone out there that will respect you, unlike the person that cheated.
Bro for a second I thought 2nd story op wants to stay with that woman
It's like julius caesar standing back up and ask for more
If one of my friends or family members was caught cheating by me, I would throw them under the bus ASAP without a single hesitation.
That shit is not OK.
The minute someone cheats in a relationship, that relationship is over.
All that is left is how long before the other person finds out.
Oh no! The cut off!
Your oldest daughter is a champ and your youngest twins are good
Um... did the video end early? It kinda cut out.
You're right, must have had a problem with the export. Sorry about that!
@@LostGenre No worries, it happens.
If you're in a relationship and you're "always on the same page" someone is being dishonest or just doesn't care.
Women can be psycho like in post one.
I had a similar experience a long time ago. Back in the 90's while in college an old fling who wanted to be more called my phone and entered random numbers until she was able to get my answering machine code (I found out later after I changed it). She then waited for my current girlfriend to leave a message with her number (she was being funny since i had not called her all week, it was midterms, electrical engineering, and i was hella busy). Old fling then called my girlfriend and said i was cheating on her and went as far as having someone who sounded like me on the call.
The only reason it did not work is that I was actually at my girlfriends house when she called. We both had a laugh at how desperate she was but it could have gone another way. LoL
Respect to the daughter who went on General destroy you mode. She is a true daughter of a loving father. There is no excuse, you cheat, you deserve to be abandoned by right. You get cheated on? You deserve to free yourself from the clutch of deceit and betrayal. Fuck all that gaslighting and manipulative bullshit.
The messages In Story 1 being timed for when OP and her husband were apart has a serious "the call is coming from inside the house" vibe. Either someone in the house they were visiting is in on it, or Charlene and co. have some software means of tracking when OP and hubby are texting each other. The former is more likely.
My husband and I use the same phone password. We each have the understanding that either one of us can look through our phones at any time.
We’ve never felt the need too. When you know, you just know.
If you think it's "not a big deal" to cheat on your spouse, you are a total piece of poop.
That is unforgivable, in my view. It's a betrayal.
the problem with a mate that cheats is it becomes a loss of trust between the two and i've had friends who've had mates that have cheated and they've stayed but it takes years to rebuild that trust, and along with that rebuilding you have to literally forgive and forget you can't do one without doing the other because if you keep bringing it up through out the rest of the marriage then you haven't truly forgiven and you might as well have divorced in the first place and save yourself years of anguish pain anger and resentment
No but I had one that said he'll do not alive when I tried to break up only to dump me a week after
You can have him. I don't drive a use car. Remember once a cheater always a cheater.
Hey Lost, just a friendly pronunciation guide. Egregious is pronounced ee-gree-jus. Keep up the good work. So impressed you can speak so well in a second language. I'm wish I could speak my second language half as well as you can.
“What do you do when you get a message your partners cheating” I do research. And then if they’re cheating I gtfo of that situation ain’t nobody worth that pain.
Well. On the second story, yes. It’s possible. I’ve seen a few marriages go through this. I kind of went through this but before we got married. We still need help and counseling, it’s a struggle, but I feel like we both have our dignity as people. But I am a far more caring and forgiving person then the OP in that story.
So you dragged your children into it as well then completely dismissed what your s.o. asked for desperately? Or was it your significant other that did it? Because _that_ is what is happening. The cheating is not the only issue; there is a laundry list of red flags screaming DO NOT GET BACK TOGETHER!
He will NOT have his dignity or self-respect because he admitted that she will twist his words and continue to harass until she gets her way. OP repeatedly said how he knows this. He won’t be staying because he truly wants to; he admitted she will _manipulate_ and _wear him down_ to stay if he goes back.
You’re far more caring and giving than OP? That’s debatable and definitely not words most would use...
I’ll go positive- Maybe naive and hopeful? Or stubborn and determined? Because staying with a cheating spouse has _nothing_ to do with who is more caring or forgiving. You can care deeply for a person as someone you spent years with and forgive them for their actions but be unwilling to put yourself in that situation again or unable to see them the same anymore.
You are in a pretty small minority then.
When you have to move 100 miles away into the middle of the woods, turn of location services and only pay in cash just to get time alone to think things over, that speaks volumes!
I think her husband has a crazy stalker, a sick person.
7:17 "we recently just bought a condo"
Yea that wouldn't stop some guys. Was in a computer lab/study room in college and this guy had a LOUD conversation with his friend. He said how he wanted hook up with girl A because he was about to get an apartment with his GIRLFRIEND and couldn't sleep with Girl A when they got it. His buddy was telling him no because he liked and wanted to ask out Girl A. The guy said "well he could still have her after he's done but he still wanted to sleep with Girl A."
TLDR: there is no logic to cheating
If you suspect your partner of cheating and you guys are on the same phone plan. Just go to the carrier and request a copy of the messages and stuff. My friend had this situation, once he learned that he could do that. It was smoother sailing. Plus it never hurts to gather evidence and get them out of your life.
Listing to so many relationship issues just makes me glad I have no problem being alone, I do not suffer from loneliness. With my mental issues I would probably make a horrible partner anyway and I would not want to inflict that on anyone.
Even without affair, this woman just sounds exhausting.
The first story is hilarious af. lol
Ask yourself, if you can live the rest of your life without her. Thats your answer.
I’ve never heard anyone say “pride as a man” SO MANY times in a row like that. Anyone else find that odd?
First one. OP starts by saying her husband is nothing but amazing to her.
But, she still lets these bitches get in her head.
Her husband was very kind with her about it, but he deserves and has earned more unconditional love and trust from OP.
Good man! Never be a doormat/simp
Get a divorce sue her get full custody and compensation
Those twins should be disowned
"I will fight until my last breath"
*Gunshot*
There, that's your last breath, now leave me alone
Seriously though, screw her, go somewhere else if you can
For the first story how did she know when the husband was not around OP
Plot twist it's the sister-in-law that secretly hates her
By the way, if you don't argue in your relationship, there might be a problem.
Love updates!
You can forgive a cheater but it doesn't mean you need to stay with them.
Once a cheater always a cheater!!
I am sorry that you went through that I wish you well
If I was op I would tell the wife tell me what is going on or I will file for divorce
The video cut off at the end when he says, "to be honest I think I'd rather live alone & be selfis-" then that's it?
Ex girlfriend wants him back your in the way. My ex stocked me for 20 years after we and my wife were married. Despite repeated attempts to tell her I'm not interested.
To answer the q on the begining of the video...considering we both work full time and have 4 girls under the age of 8...i will be damn impressed how the hell she found the time and energy for it. Lol.
Story 1: this girl had claimed that op had hacked into her accounts and then made the claim that op did which led to op being harassed. How did this ex even know about op and her relationship with the Husband? It’s just really shady and I don’t believe that shit for a second.
Although it is also shady the conversations are when op wasn’t with him. Still. I think there’s something going on with other people telling the ex and her friends things
was the end of the video cut of or was that supposed to happen?
The end was cut off
The first one he could have a second phone
Story 1 - this might be a type of defamation of character. Charlene is actively trying to brek up a relationship. This may escalate, you may need to seek legal assistance with this.
Never crossed your mind that you both are being stalked?
It may be an unpopular opinion, but divorce is not always the answer. It really depends on the circumstances (past problems, family dynamics, even age, # of yrs married, THEIR spiritual beliefs etc. ).I am not advocating for this person to remain in this situation, I think it was horrible for the mother to involve the kids. However, in many cases, there are always two sides to these stories. Furthermore, this person needs to stay or go. This hurts the kids too.
I had a crazy current who acted like the first story. She said someone messaged her that I was cheating. I admired the fakes were really good because the speech patern was very much like mine. 2-3 years later I discovered that the account messaging her belonged to her. I still remember the user name.
Thank’s a lot
The second story was a lot like the recent events with my family. However, the roles were reversed. And it gets worse. Yes, my dad attempted an affair. But it was a sweetheart scam. I'm the last to know.
I really hope the older sister in the second story does make life hell for the twins they need a hard and well deserved lesson about cheating and covering for cheaters
Story 2 OP sorry to say their is no way to stay in the marriage and trust her again. If you stay she will cheat again so get out while you still have a good head on your shoulder's. It wont get any better for you she i trying everything she can to gaslight you into thinking it's okay to cheat on you.
Re crazy ex: that’s worse than high school crap. Aren’t these supposed to be functioning adults by now? Absolutely idiotic!