A perfect marriage or relationship is an illusion; there's no universal playbook for making them work. What's effective for one couple may not apply to another. Nevertheless, I've come to understand that there's always a solution to be found. Half a decade ago, my wife and I faced such trials in our marriage that divorce seemed inevitable. Yet, through perseverance and determination, we navigated through the rough waters and emerged stronger, reunited, and more resilient.
There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things
Its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is shelly renee white..
Have you ever thought about looking at the other side and what women have been through? Yes, society validates men's self-centerdness, and most certainly conservative religion does.
@@Himmiefan Have you ever noticed just how much womens issues and problems are put under a spotlight and addressed throughout media / corporate / society but how mens are pretty much either ignored or shut down? Open your eyes.
I've spent my whole 18:02 life being put down by women, for things I never did. And yet those same women lived off mens money. As for me, I'm comfortable as a hermit now.
Brother, their words mean nothing, because they come from people who are nothing. if you want the best revenge, become the happiest you, you can possibly be, then make sure they see you happy, and completely impervious to their worthless words.
shaming is surely an issue BUT can you ignore absence of due process, yes, I'm talking about "believe all women"? how about "affirmative action", can you ignore that? have you tried to avoid draft? the one that happens in Ukraine focusing on shaming is like talking about a fly when there is an elephant in the room, THE PURPLE ONE
The other day I was discussing this very topic with a woman I had just met. She was convinced that women have been subjected to men throughout history and that now is the time to break free. It’s hard for me to imagine a situation like that - centuries of relationships between men and women where women have been "an object of no value with the sole function of raising and caring." I truly struggle to picture that. In any case, today I was thinking that this subjugation, this oppression, and historical lack of freedom is not a gender issue. I was thinking about the centuries it took for men to be able to vote. From the earliest stages in Greece until practically the 19th century in many cases, men had no voice or vote. And that right was won by women 100 years after men. It doesn’t seem that this lack of freedom is due to gender, but rather to other kinds of power dynamics. I think saying that women have historically lived in subjugation is misleading. If anything, HUMAN BEINGS have historically lived in subjugation. How can I present these reflections? How can I talk about these topics sensibly? Any suggestions?
You need to learn history. Many men want to deny that it's been that bad for women, but yeah it has been. That doesn't mean it's your fault. It's not. But it is historical facts, and frankly, all of us, men, women, white people, black people, and so on have a duty to ensure that we don't backslide into the old ways of might makes right and power only to the powerful.
@@Himmiefan I think a lot of people take the normal struggle that everybody goes through and looks at history to explain things they want it to explain, yet can't see how things have already changed. People are not born knowing history, often it's selectively taught. I would imagine learning about Attachment Theory would cure most of the ills women today have about men vs blaming history on men alive today. History can only be selectively taught, it's impossible to know it all, it's impossible to use it to explain everything. People are not blank slates, most of what a person can do are abilities they are born with, yet for any new trait someone learns, that's 10,000 plus hours or more of work and practice to do that. Expecting people to be perfect is a narcissistic standard of abuse, if you can't accept that life is not perfect, then perfection is means of abusing others vs a standard that can be an inspiration, and not a judgment. Basically women just want thing easier at men's expense, where does it end? If you selectively learn historically than women are oppressed, and you're going to use that as an argument, it appeals to one's narcissistic side to not know the counter arguments. And when you talk about power, you're either refereeing to money, or tribalism. Money at least has to be spend to do anything, tribalism historically is the source of most of the wars and hate that exists today. This is why America is so hated, it has laws that protect individual rights from tribalism, and the rich. The stronger individual rights are, the harder it is for a dictator to take over. Himmiefan, do you know about that history?
I heard a female fbi profiler say something similar about testosterone - she said something about “the worst drug is not alcohol, it’s testosterone!”.. I was quite shocked to hear such a dumb take from an older and educated woman. Without testosterone our society would have never been built in the first place
@@brianmeen2158 Either we sit around holding hands and talking about our feelings, or the girls can grow gonads and start doing all the hard work. I have been waiting for years. I am a carpenter, and in the spirit of equality, I have offered woman to come and do an aprentaship I still have no takers, the money is good
Condemning testosterone is naive. The hormones exist in both men & women. The synthesis is the same in men & women. Starts with cholesterol: Morphs to progesterone: Morphs to testosterone: Morphs to estrogen Read sexologist John Money
Yes!!! 💯 Connor! Here’s my opinion: many of the people subscribing to feminism as women are ALL GOOD and Patriarchy as Men are bad, or the other way around, is a huge red flag. When people (man or woman) hides behind these ideologies as a way to not look at the nuance and see how everyone plays a role in societal and relationship dynamics, to me it’s them not willing to receive necessary feedback that would allow them to see a fuller, more complete picture. They will stay in victim/oppressor mentality and ideologies. This will inevitably show up in their intimate relationships. And yes, you cannot have an equitable relationship under this limited perspective. Great episode! 🙌
The issue here is that that is not the definition of true feminism Feminism seeks to have society see women as equal in value to men and to give them their deserved rights in society. People disagreeing with that are walking red flags.
Its more than the instance, it is the normalization I had a female coworker who openly said to other female coworkers that the only reason men have jobs at all, is because "They Have Kickstands" I promptly reported that language as sexual harassment. because if the tables were turned, I would be walked to the door for saying derogatory comments about female anatomy. Its an apt comparison. Of course nothing happened to her.
Typical. Just keep your head down and only keep conversations work-related. Keep small talk to a minimum if you can. You’re there to work, not socialize
it is that's the point of the boys club thats why they banned women from collage they wanted only men to go there not women to make sure they didn't do better. Males confirm this tactic for years on end now the modern era lets a few dames in but they don't really want them there and don't respect them they're shields with tits for incase of a controversy. You have no idea how baked in that is to the system its why in France lawyers be tripping over themselves to get a man who raped his wife and got over 60 other men to also rape his wife off on charges and paint her as some willing person inspite of being drugged and immobilized she is the perfect victims they can't find dirt on her and yet they be trying so hard due to sexism males want to aid males to get and do xyz over women as much as possible due to boys club is built in and not eroded enough it's normalized baked in boys club shit.
We better start having these conversations soon as a society because almost every single man I know young and old, ugly and handsome, strong and weak are angry. Keep it up and don’t be surprised when men take the power back by force. Let’s pray we don’t get there but we are ALL feeling it and believe me the very monsters they fear will come out. Y’all have been warned. Love and light May this whole issue be fixed soon
Way to prove the point that men are angry and violent. What if instead, you just worked on yourself and healed some of that anger and then you wouldn’t need to threaten violence to have power. That’s not real power. That’s just violence.
@@AndrewThomasAPT has absolutely nothing to do with me I’m sharing with you the observations I’m seeing with guys. Don’t get it twisted. Shaming won’t work here it’s only going to push people into darker places. I would appreciate that you acknowledge the pain of both sexes as a opposed to being the accuser. I invite you to entertain that possibility.
@@AndrewThomasAPT you live in a Disney fairytale. Just look at history and see what happens when u get a bunch of angry rudderless young men. Don’t delude yourself by expecting rational, sober and congenial responses. Lorenzo is spot on. I’ve seen and heard some things that in my generation would be unfathomable….and just imagine what would happen if u throw a fairly substantial recession and weak labor market on top of all of this.
being angry doesnt mean anything the peadough bankers will just use that anger as another color revolution while the peadough rulers thatcaused these problems wont face any consequences
Now imagine being a man who is BEING RAISED by women like this. I come from an extremely progressive New England town where this kind of thinking took hold decades ago. I thought adopting my family's outlook and that of the community at large would enhance my life, but it ended up doing the exact opposite.😒
People with damage and a chip on their shoulder like to control others through shame. Men and women both do it, but it looks different depending on who does it. The only way to avoid it, from either sex, is to have enough self esteem to say no and enforce a zero tolerance standard on those who would try to weaponize it against you.
“Should” is shaming. Our society is addicted to it. Don’t believe me? Start calling out others when they use “should” and see what kind of pushback you get. Stop using “should” in your own head and speech and notice how ingrained that feeling is in your worldview. It is tougher than you might think to remove “should” from your psyche, but entirely worth the work. “Addiction is anything you cannot say no to” ~ Gabor Matte
Well done! I have used that myself, it is a great way to separate the fools from the friends. Seeing how a person responds to a “nope” is one of the truest tests of character. Be well!
you should not kill kids b/c you want to be lazy and not take responsibility for having sex :) like you force men to do so :) oh wait you only want equality when it suits you
should is a moral claim and people are moral relativists and subjectivists, i just ask why should anyone do anything? because u say so? well i say they shouldnt therefore since ur a subjectivist u cant tell anyone why anything is right or wrong
Men live in reality (relatively) where as women live in narrative. Men pointing out reality is seen by women of the repression of their narrative desires.
@@deepsmoviereviews3212 He knows its a generalization, you are the one who is unaware. Saying SOME women is ALSO a generalization. If you cant intellectually apply the (in general) part after hearing an obvserable truth then i hope there is some enjoyment for you in derailing every general conversation unnecessarily.
In order for shame to work I have to value that person’s opinion. If there opinion is buttressed by facts I will continue to listen, however, too often it’s simply emotion. I simply tell them, “in order to feel shame I would have to value your opinion. I don’t.” They don’t want equality. They want “patriarchy on-demand” they want equality when it benefits them, but tradition when that benefits them more. They want equality in the C-suite but not in the coal mine. They want the patriarchy when it protects them, but not when they are asked to comply with the rules.
Connor mentions in another video the connection between men’s views of women and their own unconscious mind. Developing a healthy attitude toward the King, Warrior, Magician, and Lover masculine archetypes has improved my relationships with men. I see myself more as a proud co-creator of history and tradition rather than an unwilling participant.
He briefly mentions it in the latter half of this video: "Women are Delusional and Men are Disenfranchised - The Problem With Modern Relationships" I'd enjoy hearing him go into more detail on the topic in a new video.
Hurt people hurt people. The truth is many women infected with this virus had their trust in men violated at a young age, and have spent a lifetime unable to access their feminine energy. Which is truly saddening. It’s easy, and can even feel good at times to channel this pain and suffering into rage against something outside of yourself; something/someone to blame. Unfortunately, this makes everything worse for everyone.
I’ve learned the feline shaming playbook chapter and verse and have always responded by double and triple down in the opposite direction. I think women are blind to the category 3 storm gathering offshore. More and more I’ve see very open, visible and unabashed loathing of, in particular, Gen Z women by an ever increasing cohort of young men. The sad thing is that I’ve seen this directed at women that appear, at least in my estimation, as good wholesome girls. It’s like their getting lumped in as collateral damage. This isn’t sustainable and it’s becoming a tinder box. I think it’s high time women start shaming other women and telling them to shut up bc the bad apples are ruining it for the good ones. Just my 2 cents. I’m 50 and married with 2 kids so I have no real skin in this game.
The collateral damage does not exist. there are no innocents.Especially among them, they sit by, do nothing and even promote the hate, never stand against it. women have been given so much social and political power and all they use it to do is to self indulge, greed and dystroy men who dear speak out like fascists.
At this point I must say that being heterosexual is also a curse for me. I fond women beautiful and attractive, but I am not sure I actually like them.
@@p382742937423y4 I'm very attracted to women. Just like I'm attracted to junk food. But I know what is inside junk food. And I know what is inside women.
I wonder if it is warranted because (especially of men in this context) withdrawal and passivity is seen generally as a massive crime to humanity as a whole. And so both men and women who chose to persist can easily take a stance just as dismissive as their check-out from society.
@@roderickcortez138 arguably withdrawing is standing up for themselves. Why continue sacrificing for a society that says they don’t need men? Men should still strive to be the best they can be but I don’t blame them for walking away from a society that views them as disposable. Similarly to workers on a strike for better wages, sometimes the best way to elicit change is for your presence to be missed.
I’m Gen X. When I was a kid/teen women of all ages would say that men with beards were gross. That they would never date a man with a beard. That men with beards are ugly and have “something to hide”. Nobody in the 90’s had a full beard. At some point in the 2000’s a guy said “fuck it” and grew a full on beard. Other men thought “that looks cool as fuck” and perhaps a few more guys who were kind of MGTOW or Sigma (apologies for those crude labels) went and got one too. Women fell in line. To the point where most women these days salivate over Mamoa and Viking tv shows. Now it’s seen as the most masculine, attractive thing ever and if someone can’t grow a beard they’re seen as little boys. My point is this…. Do what you want, and completely ignore women. They will try all kinds of shaming tactics because that’s all they’ve got. Just go your own way and do your own thing and eventually they fall in line anyway. The alternative for them is they don’t get relationships and the security they crave. Any time a woman tries to shame you laugh and say “guilty!” And keep doing what you’re doing. A modified version of MGTOW (with less mysogony) is the future guys.
I think that women have this incredibly distorted view of men because frankly they dont understand them and sometimes when you don’t understand how something works you can’t really appreciate it. If you don’t have any true male friends who tell you about their experiences, they can’t empathize. For me I started really understanding men’s experiences when I got into a very serious relationship and he expressed to me all of the things men go through, it really opened my eyes and showed me a glimpse of what it’s like to be a man. I work in tech which is very male dominated and as I grew in my career I had lots of senior positions to men and I initially thought that I had to also be masculine like that since that’s what other women were doing who were successful however I realized that my femininity was my own super power. So thinking of the men that I work with as just men and understanding that they do not respond well to criticism and shaming but to appreciate them for the things they do right and celebrate them. I realized that they wanted to do even more for me just by saying thank you so much for helping me or you did so amazing on this project. I have a slew of male friends who are my colleagues due to this change in approach. I think men are actually quite easy to understand once you get to know their motivations
But there are few others that provide this. Women do not love, they consume and try to transition from survive to thrive. Women have evolved into this. Just accept it.
This crap was on the incline from 2019. This was the year i began working on myself, weight training ect. Low key, on the regular i was discouraged and shamed in a multitude of different ways. It went on for so long. A little tin foil hat but it most definetly felt like an agenda against me and i couldn't really talk to anyone about what was going on. Anyway, I transformed myself regardless and all this crap actually helped me toughen the hell up loads. Shame is a tool used for control of others. I am now shameless. Great video.
12:50 women ACTUALLY have more political power just think about that, those who speak to the larger audiences can spread opinions much faster and easier on average, women have significantly more "subscribers" on social media like Instagram or TikTok and so its easier for them to spread opinions I'd argue that is one of key reasons all that misandry spread so much Another key reason is solidarity, see if you can spot the difference, men protect weak, women protect women
The world's gone mad, lunatics are in charge of the asylum. Society is in bits. We're going thorough some real problems now though post CVD19, people are struggling to pay their bills, what you're talking about has taken a back seat.
These issues have taken years to manifest to the point men are actually acting on their revulsion. I can't trust women anymore and so I replaced them with motorcycles and guitars. I know that at middle age, any woman with an interest in me is just settling and I don't do emotional hangovers anymore.
I am also very tired of this gender divide. The worst part about this whole Patriarchy Virus is that if you try to question the validity of the idea that all men get together to figure out ways to screw women over, people look at you like you're saying the moon is made of cheese. Until we start to see each other as human beings and not as oppressors and victims we won't solve much. Great video.
Through my faith I have come across many great women that really take accountability and strive to do their best to create value in life. It's a stark contrast with some of the people (and I see a lot of them on TikTok) that use oneliners like "dismantle the patriarchy" to paint a whole sex in a certain negative way. All life has aspects of both good and bad, and it's up to us to make sure we use our discernment to choose good as much as possible while minimising the bad. Stating that a whole sex is basically bad is basically what is called ignorance.
They HATE The TRUE PATRIARCH! "The Almighty GOD!" As HE Told The Patriarch Abraham! KJV - Genesis 17 : 1 "I AM The Almighty GOD; Walk Before ME, And Be THOU Perfect"
how on earth accountability can solve disposability of men? all that misandry is possible not because of lack of accountability but because it is OK towards those who "worth" less - men
This patriarchy virus is mostly prevalent from western (US and Europe) women. Women that I've met who are from non-Western countries by and large do not have this perception.
can you MGTOW affirmative action? or draft? or many other things signed into law? agree, its better then continuing to support the system but lets not deceive ourselves adverse effects can't reach us
ThankU for tackling this tough topic. I grew up with man shaming, the women were violent. I did receive apologies, who am I to not forgive. But the damage proved intractable, I cannot pairbond. I'm glad I'm old. Born in 1953, women's liberation was getting going as I reached adulthood. I believed in it, it was sincere. There was awareness that the trappings of traditional femininity, the emphasis on fashion, hairdos, makeup, high heels, etc were subliminally tools of oppression. It was naively thought those trappings would fade in importance. But that didn't happen. Today's "feminism" betrays that original women's lib in emphasizing a vanity that I find offputting. Empowerment has translated to throwing tantrums. I happen to be friends with many trans folks. There have been many obstacles, or complications, to finding happiness that are unexpected. For the trans men, many are quite astonished at how difficult it is to be a man, to the point of feeling suicidal. I suppose the "battle of the sexes" is eternal
"it is the notion that anything wrong in the world is wrong because of men" This is so stupid and simplistic and it just denies the fact that a lot of women during history were the puppet masters and were in control of their husbands, kings, sons and brothers behind the scenes. Women were more important as we think they were. They have also never been the good angels from heaven we nowadays portray them as, this picture has to go.
Its stupid to call any historical problem due to gender. resources, religions, beleifs, diseases, skin color, trickey, lies. have all been the source of war. Women blamed it all on men using shame and lies to compete with them because its easier that way. that is something unforgiveable.
feminists blame men for everything while avoiding one really important fact, kids grow up spending most of the time with women: nurturing, baby-sitting, housewives, schools, all those places are dominated by women women have all time in the world to indoctrinate boys with whatever beliefs they want who is to blame then, men, right?
If only this message is really understood by the mass. This hatetrad of man is in grain for two decades in the youths an still being boardcast through the media an entertainment industry to the masses. It's ganna take alot of work from everybody from both sides an time to get things back to close to being normal again.
Most sexual abuse is perpetrated by men. Ditto for violent crimes. This is not shaming. This is the truth. That said, projecting these facts onto every man and holding every man responsible for this IS shaming. I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, and I have heard many women repeat the myth that men who are abused go on to abuse others. It was incredibly damaging to hear that over and over again. Abused against my will, and now forever judged to be dangerous. I felt like there was no place for me.
"Most sexual abuse is perpetrated by men" - true, and there is a reason for that, and you as a man know what the reason is You, as every other men, been told its your responsibility to keep yourself in check I'd argue, because that is evolutionary advantage the whole humanity is benefiting from, especially women, the whole humanity has to compensate instead of shifting consequences onto individual men The same way humanity compensates women PS: don't get me wrong here, not saying sexual abuse is good, just that society somehow is blind to see it is a consequence and that makes it worse
I identify. I'm old, it's a miracle I did not succumb to self destruction. I experienced astonishing violence at the hands of women in the family. I did receive apologies later, which did offer help. Who am I to not forgive. But the damage proved intractable, I am unable to pairbond. I attend support groups for survivors. There are many who report abuse by women, including women survivors. It's not as one-sided as we might have thought
Men & masculinity built & continue to build the vast majority of the infrastructure we enjoy & take for granted as modern humans. If that’s the ‘all bad’ results you’re feeling oppressed by & in need of dismantling, you might want to rethink a few things before setting fire to it all.
I had joined a particular community that required men to step up so that we could 'make the world a better place' and 'save humanity' according to all the women within that community. As a man, I did my job. However, a vast majority of these women had shamed and continue to shame men for 'not doing enough' and say things like 'where are all the real men?'. I had met a handful of different women in this community over the years who had all ghosted me, probably for perceived better options. It's safe to say I no longer align myself to that community nor do I want to save humanity or make the world a better place. Why? - Lack of respect, lack of appreciation, lack of communication. I'm willing to let it all rot if that's how it's going to be
no, women are simply oblivious to the existence of men who are not on top of the world its like you don't think much about people in Africa who die of hunger, right? most men just not register on the radar because women don't see you but they see someone like Brad Pitt, they are under impressionist that most men live life like his
if shaming was the issue... how would you ignore affirmative action? or draft? or lack of due process when it comes to "believe all women"? that sign "all men trash" is the least of mens problems
4:32 What are the hormones of shame? My guess is it first gives endorphins The body's pain reliever. It also gives adrenaline. The side effect is the deployment of cortisol The stress hormone cortisol. Along with aldosterone the hypervigilance hormone
Great video. Your insight is brilliant and right on. I enjoy your calm, rational, scientific, sociological dismantling of the dominant feminist culture, and how men can respond and take leadership in a healthy manner.
I think a lot of people take the normal struggle that everybody goes through and looks at history to explain things they want it to explain, yet can't see how things have already changed. People are not born knowing history, often it's selectively taught. I would imagine learning about Attachment Theory would cure most of the ills women today have about men vs blaming history on men alive today. History can only be selectively taught, it's impossible to know it all, it's impossible to use it to explain everything. People are not blank slates, most of what a person can do are abilities they are born with, yet for any new trait someone learns, that's 10,000 plus hours or more of work and practice to do that. Expecting people to be perfect is a narcissistic standard of abuse, if you can't accept that life is not perfect, then perfection is means of abusing others vs a standard that can be an inspiration, and not a judgment. Basically women just want thing easier at men's expense, where does it end? If you selectively learn historically than women are oppressed, and you're going to use that as an argument, it appeals to one's narcissistic side to not know the counter arguments. And when you talk about power, you either refereeing to money, or tribalism. Money at least has to be spend to do anything, tribalism historically is the source of most of the wars and hate that exists today. This is why America is so hated, it has laws that protect individual rights from tribalism, and the rich. The stronger individual rights are, the harder it is for a dictator to take over.
@@raymond_sycamore you said "over men" not "over me" 😂 you don't look that old though, if war starts, you will be, while women will be free to do whatever that was just one example, how about affirmative action or lack of due process when it comes to "believe all women"? there are many more... all those things are connected through "men are sub humans" theme and so its OK to shame to blame to attack to neglect to disrespect to not empathise and so on
Hurt people hurt people. The truth is many women infected with this virus had their trust in men violated at a young age, and have spent a lifetime unable to access their feminine energy. Which is truly saddening. It’s easy, and can even feel good at times to channel this pain and suffering into rage against something outside of yourself; something/someone to blame. Unfortunately, this makes everything worse for everyone.
Really enjoy your work, but I feel this conversation is missing some trauma and abuse informedness. The idea that men are "bad" has not been formed in a vacuum. It's a recent response to literal millenia of men ruling unchecked, unaccountable and unequally throughout the entire world. Perpetuating the majority of harm and oppression because of the power they held. Living as a women in a society of patriachy is distinctly dangerous. Every related statistic points to this. There may be the pendulum swing affect happening (which may be what you are trying to draw attention to), but getting angry that so many people mistrust men will also not change the equation. How we are seeing this change on a interpersonal level is men humbling themselves in acknowledging these awful realities, understanding the unique power they have the shape and relationship and their world, and partnering with women, versus making women the enemy bc theyre finally being honest about what its like to be a women in the world with men. Rarely does this caring response keep a woman mistrustful of men. Rising up against this "patriarchy virus" seems very counterproductive. It's going to inflame men that are maybe willing but not quite there in their acceptance of the harms of the patriarchy....and silence good men who are actively fighting against it. It almost gives "Black people shouldn't be angry and shaming of white people". Steps backwards, not forward IMO.
Resonate with this. Just posted something similar: - The opposite side of the 'patriarchy virus' as you call it is what I would call the 'anti-woke' side which is what I stepped into in my early twenties. However, I'm not sure I'd use the words 'virus' as this creates a sense it is something to be rid of rather than be curious about and understood. This could end up fuelling the resentment of men towards the 'virus' and create more division. There is a reason for the existence of this 'virus' it hasn't sprung out of thin air, there are deeply harmful aspects of unchecked masculinity to everyone in the world [men, women, children etc] and I see the virus as a wounded reaction to that harm. I felt so ashamed and resentful of this man shaming that I fell into the trap of then becoming attached to the idea that all the world's problems are down to the 'patriarchy virus' and that anyone with this ideology was to be challenged or stayed clear of. This also dehumanised the other people and I fell into the trap of becoming that which I was fighting against. So I'm conscious that we can go into this conversation with the best intentions and end up creating more polarisation - I find it can be so easy to fall into this trap myself!
You interpret this video as “getting angry that so many people mistrust men”? What he’s describing isn’t mistrust of men. It’s about the growing number of individuals emboldened to inflict shame upon men just for being men. This channel is designed for the purpose of helping men. It would be negligent not to call attention to this trend. It seems you’d prefer to remain uninformed of these particular traumas because it doesn’t fit the correct narrative.
Your take doesn't sound really nuanced. "Millenia of men". Sure. It's actually a minority of men that subjugated a large percentage of serfs of both sexes. These serfs had to work together to make ends meet. And how about queens that started wars?
I think you are misinformed at best if you actually think "millenia of men ruling" Very few men ruling, most suffering, quite often more than women on average It just proves you don't see men and women as equal people but rather as separate classes that fight for who is going to dominate, like WTF???
I find this puzzling. The definition you gave that says “patriarchy = all men are bad” is inflammatory and false. I’ve listened to your content for a couple of years now and this misleading representation is surprising and disappointing. Patriarchy is a societal structure. Not a collective of all men. Men are as much the victims of patriarchy as women are. The patriarchy has subjugated men to a demeaning level of emotional neglect, mocking vulnerability, and toxic ideas of masculinity. The box that the patriarchy has created for men to squeeze themselves into is the problem. And some men are so entrenched they blindly continue to uphold the patriarchal ideas and morals. Do some women get them mixed up and accuse all men out of frustration, anger, and hurt? Sure. But logically everyone knows it’s not “all men”. Just like any man can say “all women are gold diggers” because he has been hurt before but logically we know that statement is false. There is a virus called patriarchy. And it plagues all of us. As a man who aims to empower and teach other men to be the best version of themselves I would think “patriarchy” would be 101 for you. So that you can then teach men how to consider, think, and respond when they are called out for playing into the patriarchal system that harms everyone. You could also consider the patriarchy a code word. When the divine feminine calls for the dismantling of the patriarchy, the divine masculine has the opportunity to set aside his ego, examine his heart, and choose to honor the feminine (which is language I learned from YOU) for the value she brings that has been undermined for so long. Maybe I missed something key in this episode, maybe it’s missing context, maybe your content really has changed. But I am hopeful you really do value the discussion like you said you do.
All you’re really doing when fighting against” the patriarchy” is rebelling against your father. Patriarch means father and archy means ‘rule of’ As such, all women like you are doing is saying you hate your father and any man who reminds you of him.
@@matthewzumbo9868using a words etymology as a complete definition misses a huge aspect of societal context. My comment was in defense of men if you bother to read it. Stop being silly.
Is Shame a necessary tactic for establishing balance and equity? Using tactics to trigger emotions rather than discussing real win win solutions doesn't get either gender anywhere
I hope the next episode is all about how big of a violin is big enough for male victimhood. This whole episode is just more deflection of the core issues and the use of extreme absolutes and binaries to deflect men from a basic level of ownership and accountability. No one actually thinks that men are to blame for anything, yet that’s what this guy is saying.
Well said. A strange deflection and blame shifting. No one is blaming solidly good and safe men for much of anything. Not what I've usually picked up from Conner. I don't see how this kind of episode is helpful to anyone.
@@flourishtherapy There's only so many healthy men to follow. You wanna grow an account in this space, you gotta venture off into placating men's anger and defensiveness.
well… for shaming someone to work, the shamer needs to be in a somewhat superior (eg ethically or valuation reference-wise) regard within the tried-to-be-shamed. however, western(ised) xx.s and gyn.fasc infested (mass media) discourse in society aren’t even close to any of that, as I see it (and I’d suppose quite sone self-respecting, rational gents see this in similar ways). those noisy voids are as irrelevant as the ‘empresses‘ are naked (as for their evo.psych nature and all fabrications emanating from it) - who'd care about mediocrity at best ?! ENOUGH
A perfect marriage or relationship is an illusion; there's no universal playbook for making them work. What's effective for one couple may not apply to another. Nevertheless, I've come to understand that there's always a solution to be found. Half a decade ago, my wife and I faced such trials in our marriage that divorce seemed inevitable. Yet, through perseverance and determination, we navigated through the rough waters and emerged stronger, reunited, and more resilient.
There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things
Its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is shelly renee white..
This is helpful, I will look her up online right now...Thanks.
Kudos in validating men's collective resentment. Men know, see and feel the contempt of parents, relationships and society. Finally we're waking up.
Have you ever thought about looking at the other side and what women have been through? Yes, society validates men's self-centerdness, and most certainly conservative religion does.
@@Himmiefan Have you ever noticed just how much womens issues and problems are put under a spotlight and addressed throughout media / corporate / society but how mens are pretty much either ignored or shut down? Open your eyes.
@@HimmiefanMost mainstream entertainment outlets try doing that already. Just saying
@Himmiefan, that's not the topic. Why do so many people try to make it about women when people talk about men's issues?
@@Himmiefan Let men have their place to grieve for god´s sake. We live in a women centric society beyond the mirrors that you want to point
I've spent my whole 18:02 life being put down by women, for things I never did. And yet those same women lived off mens money.
As for me, I'm comfortable as a hermit now.
Brother, their words mean nothing, because they come from people who are nothing.
if you want the best revenge, become the happiest you, you can possibly be, then make sure they see you happy, and completely impervious to their worthless words.
Hermit mode it is for many of us.
Women can't do things for themselves so they need to emotionally manipulate men. That's how they survive.
I prefer to call it what it is, misandry.
True.
100%
Ignore shaming attempts coming from shameless people.
shaming is surely an issue BUT
can you ignore absence of due process, yes, I'm talking about "believe all women"?
how about "affirmative action", can you ignore that?
have you tried to avoid draft? the one that happens in Ukraine
focusing on shaming is like talking about a fly when there is an elephant in the room, THE PURPLE ONE
The other day I was discussing this very topic with a woman I had just met. She was convinced that women have been subjected to men throughout history and that now is the time to break free. It’s hard for me to imagine a situation like that - centuries of relationships between men and women where women have been "an object of no value with the sole function of raising and caring." I truly struggle to picture that. In any case, today I was thinking that this subjugation, this oppression, and historical lack of freedom is not a gender issue. I was thinking about the centuries it took for men to be able to vote. From the earliest stages in Greece until practically the 19th century in many cases, men had no voice or vote. And that right was won by women 100 years after men. It doesn’t seem that this lack of freedom is due to gender, but rather to other kinds of power dynamics. I think saying that women have historically lived in subjugation is misleading. If anything, HUMAN BEINGS have historically lived in subjugation. How can I present these reflections? How can I talk about these topics sensibly? Any suggestions?
Taking history out of context is how they achieve that brain washing.
You need to learn history. Many men want to deny that it's been that bad for women, but yeah it has been. That doesn't mean it's your fault. It's not. But it is historical facts, and frankly, all of us, men, women, white people, black people, and so on have a duty to ensure that we don't backslide into the old ways of might makes right and power only to the powerful.
@@Himmiefan I think a lot of people take the normal struggle that everybody goes through and looks at history to explain things they want it to explain, yet can't see how things have already changed. People are not born knowing history, often it's selectively taught. I would imagine learning about Attachment Theory would cure most of the ills women today have about men vs blaming history on men alive today. History can only be selectively taught, it's impossible to know it all, it's impossible to use it to explain everything. People are not blank slates, most of what a person can do are abilities they are born with, yet for any new trait someone learns, that's 10,000 plus hours or more of work and practice to do that. Expecting people to be perfect is a narcissistic standard of abuse, if you can't accept that life is not perfect, then perfection is means of abusing others vs a standard that can be an inspiration, and not a judgment. Basically women just want thing easier at men's expense, where does it end? If you selectively learn historically than women are oppressed, and you're going to use that as an argument, it appeals to one's narcissistic side to not know the counter arguments.
And when you talk about power, you're either refereeing to money, or tribalism. Money at least has to be spend to do anything, tribalism historically is the source of most of the wars and hate that exists today. This is why America is so hated, it has laws that protect individual rights from tribalism, and the rich. The stronger individual rights are, the harder it is for a dictator to take over. Himmiefan, do you know about that history?
@@Himmiefanmany women want to deny it's been bad for men. But yeah it has been.
There is no way... sorry 😂most of them won't listen. Don't try, brother, for the sake of your own safety and sanity.
I heard a female fbi profiler say something similar about testosterone - she said something about “the worst drug is not alcohol, it’s testosterone!”.. I was quite shocked to hear such a dumb take from an older and educated woman. Without testosterone our society would have never been built in the first place
Reading this makes me want to get on steroids
Without testosterone, good men could not protect their loved ones from other men!
@@brianmeen2158 Either we sit around holding hands and talking about our feelings, or the girls can grow gonads and start doing all the hard work. I have been waiting for years. I am a carpenter, and in the spirit of equality, I have offered woman to come and do an aprentaship I still have no takers, the money is good
Condemning testosterone is naive. The hormones exist in both men & women. The synthesis is the same in men & women. Starts with cholesterol: Morphs to progesterone: Morphs to testosterone: Morphs to estrogen
Read sexologist John Money
Yes!!! 💯 Connor!
Here’s my opinion: many of the people subscribing to feminism as women are ALL GOOD and Patriarchy as Men are bad, or the other way around, is a huge red flag.
When people (man or woman) hides behind these ideologies as a way to not look at the nuance and see how everyone plays a role in societal and relationship dynamics, to me it’s them not willing to receive necessary feedback that would allow them to see a fuller, more complete picture. They will stay in victim/oppressor mentality and ideologies. This will inevitably show up in their intimate relationships.
And yes, you cannot have an equitable relationship under this limited perspective.
Great episode! 🙌
The issue here is that that is not the definition of true feminism Feminism seeks to have society see women as equal in value to men and to give them their deserved rights in society. People disagreeing with that are walking red flags.
Its more than the instance, it is the normalization
I had a female coworker who openly said to other female coworkers that the only reason men have jobs at all, is because "They Have Kickstands"
I promptly reported that language as sexual harassment. because if the tables were turned, I would be walked to the door for saying derogatory comments about female anatomy. Its an apt comparison. Of course nothing happened to her.
Typical. Just keep your head down and only keep conversations work-related. Keep small talk to a minimum if you can. You’re there to work, not socialize
funny that, thats the sole reason any gal got any job they got a box
wow yet again they are projecting how typical
thats why u should work as little as possible and sabotage the company and move on to another soulless job
@@hhjklklop no women are given stuff cuz the people in power use women and kids to promote evol and d pop u lay tion
it is that's the point of the boys club thats why they banned women from collage they wanted only men to go there not women to make sure they didn't do better. Males confirm this tactic for years on end now the modern era lets a few dames in but they don't really want them there and don't respect them they're shields with tits for incase of a controversy.
You have no idea how baked in that is to the system its why in France lawyers be tripping over themselves to get a man who raped his wife and got over 60 other men to also rape his wife off on charges and paint her as some willing person inspite of being drugged and immobilized she is the perfect victims they can't find dirt on her and yet they be trying so hard due to sexism males want to aid males to get and do xyz over women as much as possible due to boys club is built in and not eroded enough it's normalized baked in boys club shit.
We better start having these conversations soon as a society because almost every single man I know young and old, ugly and handsome, strong and weak are angry.
Keep it up and don’t be surprised when men take the power back by force.
Let’s pray we don’t get there but we are ALL feeling it and believe me the very monsters they fear will come out.
Y’all have been warned.
Love and light May this whole issue be fixed soon
Men have always used their power against women by force. For us women, that's just a normal day.
Way to prove the point that men are angry and violent. What if instead, you just worked on yourself and healed some of that anger and then you wouldn’t need to threaten violence to have power. That’s not real power. That’s just violence.
@@AndrewThomasAPT has absolutely nothing to do with me I’m sharing with you the observations I’m seeing with guys. Don’t get it twisted. Shaming won’t work here it’s only going to push people into darker places. I would appreciate that you acknowledge the pain of both sexes as a opposed to being the accuser. I invite you to entertain that possibility.
@@AndrewThomasAPT you live in a Disney fairytale. Just look at history and see what happens when u get a bunch of angry rudderless young men. Don’t delude yourself by expecting rational, sober and congenial responses. Lorenzo is spot on. I’ve seen and heard some things that in my generation would be unfathomable….and just imagine what would happen if u throw a fairly substantial recession and weak labor market on top of all of this.
being angry doesnt mean anything the peadough bankers will just use that anger as another color revolution while the peadough rulers thatcaused these problems wont face any consequences
Divide and Conquer everywhere you look 🤗
Don't buy into it...
👍
Now imagine being a man who is BEING RAISED by women like this. I come from an extremely progressive New England town where this kind of thinking took hold decades ago. I thought adopting my family's outlook and that of the community at large would enhance my life, but it ended up doing the exact opposite.😒
Is so sad to hear all of this. 😔 I have 3 brothers and a wonderful father, and I can't conceive how any woman can think that man shaming is ok. 💔
You're an outlier. Most will do it even having brothers and a loving father.
People with damage and a chip on their shoulder like to control others through shame. Men and women both do it, but it looks different depending on who does it.
The only way to avoid it, from either sex, is to have enough self esteem to say no and enforce a zero tolerance standard on those who would try to weaponize it against you.
Many of them do it damn near on reflex.
We still don't trust you, anything you say, or represent.
@@NoMoneyOut found the incel
I’m a woman with 4 brothers. I have pushed back against man-shaming for years. It’s heart-breaking.
You're doing your part and that's all that matters! Thanks 🙂
“Should” is shaming. Our society is addicted to it. Don’t believe me? Start calling out others when they use “should” and see what kind of pushback you get. Stop using “should” in your own head and speech and notice how ingrained that feeling is in your worldview. It is tougher than you might think to remove “should” from your psyche, but entirely worth the work.
“Addiction is anything you cannot say no to” ~ Gabor Matte
My favorite comeback: "are you should-ing me?"
Well done! I have used that myself, it is a great way to separate the fools from the friends. Seeing how a person responds to a “nope” is one of the truest tests of character. Be well!
you should not kill kids b/c you want to be lazy and not take responsibility for having sex :) like you force men to do so :) oh wait you only want equality when it suits you
should is a moral claim and people are moral relativists and subjectivists, i just ask why should anyone do anything? because u say so? well i say they shouldnt therefore since ur a subjectivist u cant tell anyone why anything is right or wrong
“Should” is also arrogance. Shame based assessments of others is the path to many of societies ills.
Men live in reality (relatively) where as women live in narrative. Men pointing out reality is seen by women of the repression of their narrative desires.
Yes, the narrative created by their emotions. This is why the modern experiment of giving women rights is doomed to failure.
I think that's a generalization. Some women do believe in narratives.
@@deepsmoviereviews3212 He knows its a generalization, you are the one who is unaware. Saying SOME women is ALSO a generalization. If you cant intellectually apply the (in general) part after hearing an obvserable truth then i hope there is some enjoyment for you in derailing every general conversation unnecessarily.
In order for shame to work I have to value that person’s opinion.
If there opinion is buttressed by facts I will continue to listen, however, too often it’s simply emotion.
I simply tell them, “in order to feel shame I would have to value your opinion.
I don’t.”
They don’t want equality.
They want “patriarchy on-demand” they want equality when it benefits them, but tradition when that benefits them more.
They want equality in the C-suite but not in the coal mine.
They want the patriarchy when it protects them, but not when they are asked to comply with the rules.
Exactly ... and many men in the West no longer value or care about the opinions of the shamers. It's just background noise now ... blah, blah, blah
Yup.
This is why calling them ''leftists'' is a fallacy as they are the opposite.
It's the lowest vibrational frequency
Connor mentions in another video the connection between men’s views of women and their own unconscious mind. Developing a healthy attitude toward the King, Warrior, Magician, and Lover masculine archetypes has improved my relationships with men. I see myself more as a proud co-creator of history and tradition rather than an unwilling participant.
Which video is that? Thank you
He briefly mentions it in the latter half of this video: "Women are Delusional and Men are Disenfranchised - The Problem With Modern Relationships"
I'd enjoy hearing him go into more detail on the topic in a new video.
That sounds interesting; I'll check it out. Thx. Equal co-creators is fantastic; blaming all women is not.
@@MonessaLeigh thanks
Just my 2 cents, but there is no better male archetype than Hector of Troy.
Hurt people hurt people. The truth is many women infected with this virus had their trust in men violated at a young age, and have spent a lifetime unable to access their feminine energy. Which is truly saddening. It’s easy, and can even feel good at times to channel this pain and suffering into rage against something outside of yourself; something/someone to blame. Unfortunately, this makes everything worse for everyone.
So true!
It can only feel good to hurt others when society allows you to do so.
I’ve learned the feline shaming playbook chapter and verse and have always responded by double and triple down in the opposite direction. I think women are blind to the category 3 storm gathering offshore. More and more I’ve see very open, visible and unabashed loathing of, in particular, Gen Z women by an ever increasing cohort of young men. The sad thing is that I’ve seen this directed at women that appear, at least in my estimation, as good wholesome girls. It’s like their getting lumped in as collateral damage. This isn’t sustainable and it’s becoming a tinder box. I think it’s high time women start shaming other women and telling them to shut up bc the bad apples are ruining it for the good ones. Just my 2 cents. I’m 50 and married with 2 kids so I have no real skin in this game.
The collateral damage does not exist. there are no innocents.Especially among them, they sit by, do nothing and even promote the hate, never stand against it. women have been given so much social and political power and all they use it to do is to self indulge, greed and dystroy men who dear speak out like fascists.
I think, a lot of vvomen are upset that they are attracted to men.
A lot of women really don’t like the power that masculinity has over them .
At this point I must say that being heterosexual is also a curse for me. I fond women beautiful and attractive, but I am not sure I actually like them.
@p382742937423y4 good point lol
@@p382742937423y4 I'm very attracted to women. Just like I'm attracted to junk food. But I know what is inside junk food. And I know what is inside women.
@@p382742937423y4 -- I only like them biologically for 45min at a time.
Everything else about them, I abhor.
This is causing many men to withdraw from society
That’s the worst thing they could do though
Sadly they won't stand up for themselves. They just withdrawal instead. Kind of a coward move.
I see a lot of cruel references to Darwin concerning this mass male withdrawal as well. I wonder if the reference is at all warranted.
I wonder if it is warranted because (especially of men in this context) withdrawal and passivity is seen generally as a massive crime to humanity as a whole. And so both men and women who chose to persist can easily take a stance just as dismissive as their check-out from society.
@@roderickcortez138 arguably withdrawing is standing up for themselves. Why continue sacrificing for a society that says they don’t need men? Men should still strive to be the best they can be but I don’t blame them for walking away from a society that views them as disposable. Similarly to workers on a strike for better wages, sometimes the best way to elicit change is for your presence to be missed.
You sir just earned my subscription.
I wish I would have heard this about fifteen years ago!
Screwe this society im not a slave to a world that doesent give a shyt
i can’t afford exercising power over women bruh i’m broke
I’m Gen X. When I was a kid/teen women of all ages would say that men with beards were gross. That they would never date a man with a beard. That men with beards are ugly and have “something to hide”. Nobody in the 90’s had a full beard.
At some point in the 2000’s a guy said “fuck it” and grew a full on beard. Other men thought “that looks cool as fuck” and perhaps a few more guys who were kind of MGTOW or Sigma (apologies for those crude labels) went and got one too.
Women fell in line.
To the point where most women these days salivate over Mamoa and Viking tv shows. Now it’s seen as the most masculine, attractive thing ever and if someone can’t grow a beard they’re seen as little boys.
My point is this….
Do what you want, and completely ignore women. They will try all kinds of shaming tactics because that’s all they’ve got. Just go your own way and do your own thing and eventually they fall in line anyway.
The alternative for them is they don’t get relationships and the security they crave.
Any time a woman tries to shame you laugh and say “guilty!” And keep doing what you’re doing.
A modified version of MGTOW (with less mysogony) is the future guys.
Please watch the video in its entirety before saying "he's supporting toxic masculinity". That is not the case.
I think that women have this incredibly distorted view of men because frankly they dont understand them and sometimes when you don’t understand how something works you can’t really appreciate it. If you don’t have any true male friends who tell you about their experiences, they can’t empathize. For me I started really understanding men’s experiences when I got into a very serious relationship and he expressed to me all of the things men go through, it really opened my eyes and showed me a glimpse of what it’s like to be a man.
I work in tech which is very male dominated and as I grew in my career I had lots of senior positions to men and I initially thought that I had to also be masculine like that since that’s what other women were doing who were successful however I realized that my femininity was my own super power. So thinking of the men that I work with as just men and understanding that they do not respond well to criticism and shaming but to appreciate them for the things they do right and celebrate them. I realized that they wanted to do even more for me just by saying thank you so much for helping me or you did so amazing on this project. I have a slew of male friends who are my colleagues due to this change in approach. I think men are actually quite easy to understand once you get to know their motivations
Yeah, I had a female friend, and she stopped being my friend after a while.
We all need to love and appreciate what we bring to the table
But there are few others that provide this. Women do not love, they consume and try to transition from survive to thrive. Women have evolved into this. Just accept it.
@@justinjex1 What do you mean "women do not love" ?! That's preposterous. WTF........
Thanks for giving us a better voice than the average redpill bs... those guys just do more of the same, and it's surely not healthy.
This crap was on the incline from 2019. This was the year i began working on myself, weight training ect. Low key, on the regular i was discouraged and shamed in a multitude of different ways. It went on for so long. A little tin foil hat but it most definetly felt like an agenda against me and i couldn't really talk to anyone about what was going on. Anyway, I transformed myself regardless and all this crap actually helped me toughen the hell up loads. Shame is a tool used for control of others. I am now shameless. Great video.
12:50 women ACTUALLY have more political power
just think about that, those who speak to the larger audiences can spread opinions much faster and easier
on average, women have significantly more "subscribers" on social media like Instagram or TikTok and so its easier for them to spread opinions
I'd argue that is one of key reasons all that misandry spread so much
Another key reason is solidarity, see if you can spot the difference, men protect weak, women protect women
The world's gone mad, lunatics are in charge of the asylum. Society is in bits.
We're going thorough some real problems now though post CVD19, people are struggling to pay their bills, what you're talking about has taken a back seat.
" Ideologically captured".
" Shame is the name, oh shame is the game". Morrissey.
These issues have taken years to manifest to the point men are actually acting on their revulsion. I can't trust women anymore and so I replaced them with motorcycles and guitars. I know that at middle age, any woman with an interest in me is just settling and I don't do emotional hangovers anymore.
Shame causes a person to ultimately freeze and be unable to move forward, or do anything but experience pain
I completely agree with you in this video and I sent it to several people who I believe would benefit from it mainly young men
the art of being a an is not giving an F.
I am also very tired of this gender divide. The worst part about this whole Patriarchy Virus is that if you try to question the validity of the idea that all men get together to figure out ways to screw women over, people look at you like you're saying the moon is made of cheese.
Until we start to see each other as human beings and not as oppressors and victims we won't solve much.
Great video.
that is the reason many think feminism is marxism ideology, men and women as in bourgeoisie and hard working people
Through my faith I have come across many great women that really take accountability and strive to do their best to create value in life. It's a stark contrast with some of the people (and I see a lot of them on TikTok) that use oneliners like "dismantle the patriarchy" to paint a whole sex in a certain negative way.
All life has aspects of both good and bad, and it's up to us to make sure we use our discernment to choose good as much as possible while minimising the bad. Stating that a whole sex is basically bad is basically what is called ignorance.
And that testosterone argument is beyond idiotic. Do people forget both sexes have testosterone?
Resonates deeply
They HATE The TRUE PATRIARCH! "The Almighty GOD!" As HE Told The Patriarch Abraham!
KJV - Genesis 17 : 1 "I AM The Almighty GOD; Walk Before ME, And Be THOU Perfect"
Accountability solves most of these issues.
how on earth accountability can solve disposability of men?
all that misandry is possible not because of lack of accountability but because it is OK towards those who "worth" less - men
This patriarchy virus is mostly prevalent from western (US and Europe) women. Women that I've met who are from non-Western countries by and large do not have this perception.
MGTOW is the answer
can you MGTOW affirmative action? or draft? or many other things signed into law?
agree, its better then continuing to support the system but lets not deceive ourselves adverse effects can't reach us
Welcome to the Mormon Church 😂😂😂 This is a complete summary of how the leaders and women treat the men.
ThankU for tackling this tough topic. I grew up with man shaming, the women were violent. I did receive apologies, who am I to not forgive. But the damage proved intractable, I cannot pairbond. I'm glad I'm old.
Born in 1953, women's liberation was getting going as I reached adulthood. I believed in it, it was sincere. There was awareness that the trappings of traditional femininity, the emphasis on fashion, hairdos, makeup, high heels, etc were subliminally tools of oppression. It was naively thought those trappings would fade in importance. But that didn't happen. Today's "feminism" betrays that original women's lib in emphasizing a vanity that I find offputting. Empowerment has translated to throwing tantrums.
I happen to be friends with many trans folks. There have been many obstacles, or complications, to finding happiness that are unexpected. For the trans men, many are quite astonished at how difficult it is to be a man, to the point of feeling suicidal.
I suppose the "battle of the sexes" is eternal
First one ah... bless you from italy man
The loss of shame is the begining of imbecility.
"it is the notion that anything wrong in the world is wrong because of men"
This is so stupid and simplistic and it just denies the fact that a lot of women during history were the puppet masters and were in control of their husbands, kings, sons and brothers behind the scenes. Women were more important as we think they were. They have also never been the good angels from heaven we nowadays portray them as, this picture has to go.
Femme fatales. But feminists usually defend their actions
Its stupid to call any historical problem due to gender.
resources, religions, beleifs, diseases, skin color, trickey, lies.
have all been the source of war. Women blamed it all on men using shame and lies to compete with them because its easier that way.
that is something unforgiveable.
feminists blame men for everything while avoiding one really important fact, kids grow up spending most of the time with women: nurturing, baby-sitting, housewives, schools, all those places are dominated by women
women have all time in the world to indoctrinate boys with whatever beliefs they want
who is to blame then, men, right?
If only this message is really understood by the mass. This hatetrad of man is in grain for two decades in the youths an still being boardcast through the media an entertainment industry to the masses. It's ganna take alot of work from everybody from both sides an time to get things back to close to being normal again.
Its bin going on all my life 56 years. Only getting worse. Just gotta tune it out.
the people shaming men are the ones to who have something to be ashamed of
6:21 black and white cognitive distortion
Not to offend..but you are 2 to 3 years behind ?
Spot on 🎯
What exactly is the patriarchy?
An illusion.
Whatever she says it is?
A scapegoat for groups with political agendas.
another way to gaslight you into thinking you are privileged and owe something
Most sexual abuse is perpetrated by men. Ditto for violent crimes. This is not shaming. This is the truth. That said, projecting these facts onto every man and holding every man responsible for this IS shaming.
I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, and I have heard many women repeat the myth that men who are abused go on to abuse others. It was incredibly damaging to hear that over and over again. Abused against my will, and now forever judged to be dangerous. I felt like there was no place for me.
"Most sexual abuse is perpetrated by men" - true, and there is a reason for that, and you as a man know what the reason is
You, as every other men, been told its your responsibility to keep yourself in check
I'd argue, because that is evolutionary advantage the whole humanity is benefiting from, especially women, the whole humanity has to compensate instead of shifting consequences onto individual men
The same way humanity compensates women
PS: don't get me wrong here, not saying sexual abuse is good, just that society somehow is blind to see it is a consequence and that makes it worse
I identify. I'm old, it's a miracle I did not succumb to self destruction. I experienced astonishing violence at the hands of women in the family. I did receive apologies later, which did offer help. Who am I to not forgive. But the damage proved intractable, I am unable to pairbond.
I attend support groups for survivors. There are many who report abuse by women, including women survivors. It's not as one-sided as we might have thought
@@carlorizzo827 thank you for sharing!
@@wizardadmin I am not sure what you’re getting at, but this sounds a lot like victim blaming.
@@danielletourneau7943 I can assure you that was not what I meant
However, calling everything "victim blaming" makes it worse
Men & masculinity built & continue to build the vast majority of the infrastructure we enjoy & take for granted as modern humans. If that’s the ‘all bad’ results you’re feeling oppressed by & in need of dismantling, you might want to rethink a few things before setting fire to it all.
"take for granted" that is what "independent" women do
I had joined a particular community that required men to step up so that we could 'make the world a better place' and 'save humanity' according to all the women within that community. As a man, I did my job.
However, a vast majority of these women had shamed and continue to shame men for 'not doing enough' and say things like 'where are all the real men?'.
I had met a handful of different women in this community over the years who had all ghosted me, probably for perceived better options.
It's safe to say I no longer align myself to that community nor do I want to save humanity or make the world a better place. Why? - Lack of respect, lack of appreciation, lack of communication.
I'm willing to let it all rot if that's how it's going to be
ah, that "real men" that caused so much suffering amongst men...
guess what, I'd argue men may play even bigger role in spreading of that virus
The concept of the Patriarchy fits neatly into the conspiracy theory model.
no, women are simply oblivious to the existence of men who are not on top of the world
its like you don't think much about people in Africa who die of hunger, right?
most men just not register on the radar
because women don't see you but they see someone like Brad Pitt, they are under impressionist that most men live life like his
7:23 If we watch your content we probably like men??! Ayo brother chill 💀 wdym by that lol
He’s talking about the women who may be watching the video, not other men😂
Shaming only works if you care what others think of you ! When you give a damn, life is a hell of a lot better!
if shaming was the issue...
how would you ignore affirmative action?
or draft?
or lack of due process when it comes to "believe all women"?
that sign "all men trash" is the least of mens problems
Nice essay
hittin hard AF
4:32 What are the hormones of shame? My guess is it first gives endorphins The body's pain reliever. It also gives adrenaline. The side effect is the deployment of cortisol The stress hormone cortisol. Along with aldosterone the hypervigilance hormone
Great video. Your insight is brilliant and right on. I enjoy your calm, rational, scientific, sociological dismantling of the dominant feminist culture, and how men can respond and take leadership in a healthy manner.
I like the new lighting. Adds a bit of "heat" to the frustration you're feeling around the topic. Dunno if this was intentional but nice touch.
I think a lot of people take the normal struggle that everybody goes through and looks at history to explain things they want it to explain, yet can't see how things have already changed. People are not born knowing history, often it's selectively taught. I would imagine learning about Attachment Theory would cure most of the ills women today have about men vs blaming history on men alive today. History can only be selectively taught, it's impossible to know it all, it's impossible to use it to explain everything. People are not blank slates, most of what a person can do are abilities they are born with, yet for any new trait someone learns, that's 10,000 plus hours or more of work and practice to do that. Expecting people to be perfect is a narcissistic standard of abuse, if you can't accept that life is not perfect, then perfection is means of abusing others vs a standard that can be an inspiration, and not a judgment. Basically women just want thing easier at men's expense, where does it end? If you selectively learn historically than women are oppressed, and you're going to use that as an argument, it appeals to one's narcissistic side to not know the counter arguments.
And when you talk about power, you either refereeing to money, or tribalism. Money at least has to be spend to do anything, tribalism historically is the source of most of the wars and hate that exists today. This is why America is so hated, it has laws that protect individual rights from tribalism, and the rich. The stronger individual rights are, the harder it is for a dictator to take over.
The way of the superior man and other books on the same vibration are the only path forward that seems will end this gender war
Thank you Connor. Good job. Well done. Have a lovely day.
Shame have no power over men.
how about law? can you dodge draft?
@@wizardadmin im old, nobody is drafting me
@@raymond_sycamore you said "over men" not "over me" 😂
you don't look that old though, if war starts, you will be, while women will be free to do whatever
that was just one example, how about affirmative action or lack of due process when it comes to "believe all women"?
there are many more...
all those things are connected through "men are sub humans" theme and so its OK to shame to blame to attack to neglect to disrespect to not empathise and so on
Hurt people hurt people. The truth is many women infected with this virus had their trust in men violated at a young age, and have spent a lifetime unable to access their feminine energy. Which is truly saddening. It’s easy, and can even feel good at times to channel this pain and suffering into rage against something outside of yourself; something/someone to blame. Unfortunately, this makes everything worse for everyone.
Let's not put this on men this is a female problem I've seen many women who have this mindset and they had perfectly normal lives.
@@Joshua-eo5hr its ALWAYS mens fault. this is why women are children. they never have agency ever.
Really enjoy your work, but I feel this conversation is missing some trauma and abuse informedness. The idea that men are "bad" has not been formed in a vacuum. It's a recent response to literal millenia of men ruling unchecked, unaccountable and unequally throughout the entire world. Perpetuating the majority of harm and oppression because of the power they held. Living as a women in a society of patriachy is distinctly dangerous. Every related statistic points to this. There may be the pendulum swing affect happening (which may be what you are trying to draw attention to), but getting angry that so many people mistrust men will also not change the equation.
How we are seeing this change on a interpersonal level is men humbling themselves in acknowledging these awful realities, understanding the unique power they have the shape and relationship and their world, and partnering with women, versus making women the enemy bc theyre finally being honest about what its like to be a women in the world with men. Rarely does this caring response keep a woman mistrustful of men.
Rising up against this "patriarchy virus" seems very counterproductive. It's going to inflame men that are maybe willing but not quite there in their acceptance of the harms of the patriarchy....and silence good men who are actively fighting against it.
It almost gives "Black people shouldn't be angry and shaming of white people".
Steps backwards, not forward IMO.
Resonate with this. Just posted something similar: - The opposite side of the 'patriarchy virus' as you call it is what I would call the 'anti-woke' side which is what I stepped into in my early twenties. However, I'm not sure I'd use the words 'virus' as this creates a sense it is something to be rid of rather than be curious about and understood. This could end up fuelling the resentment of men towards the 'virus' and create more division. There is a reason for the existence of this 'virus' it hasn't sprung out of thin air, there are deeply harmful aspects of unchecked masculinity to everyone in the world [men, women, children etc] and I see the virus as a wounded reaction to that harm. I felt so ashamed and resentful of this man shaming that I fell into the trap of then becoming attached to the idea that all the world's problems are down to the 'patriarchy virus' and that anyone with this ideology was to be challenged or stayed clear of. This also dehumanised the other people and I fell into the trap of becoming that which I was fighting against. So I'm conscious that we can go into this conversation with the best intentions and end up creating more polarisation - I find it can be so easy to fall into this trap myself!
You interpret this video as “getting angry that so many people mistrust men”? What he’s describing isn’t mistrust of men. It’s about the growing number of individuals emboldened to inflict shame upon men just for being men. This channel is designed for the purpose of helping men. It would be negligent not to call attention to this trend. It seems you’d prefer to remain uninformed of these particular traumas because it doesn’t fit the correct narrative.
Your take doesn't sound really nuanced. "Millenia of men". Sure. It's actually a minority of men that subjugated a large percentage of serfs of both sexes. These serfs had to work together to make ends meet. And how about queens that started wars?
I think you are misinformed at best if you actually think "millenia of men ruling"
Very few men ruling, most suffering, quite often more than women on average
It just proves you don't see men and women as equal people but rather as separate classes that fight for who is going to dominate, like WTF???
I find this puzzling. The definition you gave that says “patriarchy = all men are bad” is inflammatory and false. I’ve listened to your content for a couple of years now and this misleading representation is surprising and disappointing.
Patriarchy is a societal structure. Not a collective of all men.
Men are as much the victims of patriarchy as women are. The patriarchy has subjugated men to a demeaning level of emotional neglect, mocking vulnerability, and toxic ideas of masculinity. The box that the patriarchy has created for men to squeeze themselves into is the problem. And some men are so entrenched they blindly continue to uphold the patriarchal ideas and morals.
Do some women get them mixed up and accuse all men out of frustration, anger, and hurt? Sure. But logically everyone knows it’s not “all men”. Just like any man can say “all women are gold diggers” because he has been hurt before but logically we know that statement is false.
There is a virus called patriarchy. And it plagues all of us. As a man who aims to empower and teach other men to be the best version of themselves I would think “patriarchy” would be 101 for you. So that you can then teach men how to consider, think, and respond when they are called out for playing into the patriarchal system that harms everyone.
You could also consider the patriarchy a code word. When the divine feminine calls for the dismantling of the patriarchy, the divine masculine has the opportunity to set aside his ego, examine his heart, and choose to honor the feminine (which is language I learned from YOU) for the value she brings that has been undermined for so long.
Maybe I missed something key in this episode, maybe it’s missing context, maybe your content really has changed. But I am hopeful you really do value the discussion like you said you do.
All you’re really doing when fighting against” the patriarchy” is rebelling against your father.
Patriarch means father and archy means ‘rule of’
As such, all women like you are doing is saying you hate your father and any man who reminds you of him.
@@matthewzumbo9868using a words etymology as a complete definition misses a huge aspect of societal context. My comment was in defense of men if you bother to read it. Stop being silly.
@@amandastanton3107 Stop Shaming
i agree with this and am also disappointed seeing rhetoric like this on this channel
What does patriarchy have to do with emotional neglect and toxic masculinity ?
To the privileged, equality feels like oppression. I don’t see men being shamed. I see women reaching for equality.
There is nothing to reach for. They have equality. And they hate it. Your whole perception is beyond delusional.
Is Shame a necessary tactic for establishing balance and equity? Using tactics to trigger emotions rather than discussing real win win solutions doesn't get either gender anywhere
That’s the biggest bunch of nonsense I’ve heard today. Too much woke cool aide dude.
@@byrdmaniacsg2776 for real. Totally blind.
I hope the next episode is all about how big of a violin is big enough for male victimhood. This whole episode is just more deflection of the core issues and the use of extreme absolutes and binaries to deflect men from a basic level of ownership and accountability. No one actually thinks that men are to blame for anything, yet that’s what this guy is saying.
Well said. A strange deflection and blame shifting. No one is blaming solidly good and safe men for much of anything. Not what I've usually picked up from Conner. I don't see how this kind of episode is helpful to anyone.
Sorry but that isn't at all what he's saying...
@@flourishtherapy There's only so many healthy men to follow. You wanna grow an account in this space, you gotta venture off into placating men's anger and defensiveness.
@@AndrewThomasAPT it does seem that is a much more well-received angle. Really unfortunate it's still this way.
Now you know damn well the women that need to hear this message are never going to hear it or ever want to listen.
well… for shaming someone to work, the shamer needs to be in a somewhat superior (eg ethically or valuation reference-wise) regard within the tried-to-be-shamed. however, western(ised) xx.s and gyn.fasc infested (mass media) discourse in society aren’t even close to any of that, as I see it (and I’d suppose quite sone self-respecting, rational gents see this in similar ways). those noisy voids are as irrelevant as the ‘empresses‘ are naked (as for their evo.psych nature and all fabrications emanating from it) - who'd care about mediocrity at best ?! ENOUGH
Validating without sounding like the Woman-Hater Club