I have a soft spot for Italian science fiction movies of the 80s. They had less money than an episode of Doctor Who, and attempted to make up for it with sheer perviness.
I bet this film had a higher budget than the first mad max For god sake half the people on mad max got paid in beer, and most of the costumes were just stuff actors brought from home!
This was on UK VHS as The New Barbarians and, like all the Italian Post Apocolypse movies, was an insanely popular rental. We couldn't bring enough of those things into the video shop.
This subject might well serve as the basis for a proposed master's thesis or doctoral dissertation: "The Significance of Anality & Homoeroticism as a Recurring Theme in Eighties Italian Science Fiction Cinema".
"Blame it on the Brontes". Oh hell yes! My Good Sir (Robin Bailes): believe me when I say that scores upon scores of survivors of advanced high school English salute you & your comforting words. "Wuthering Heights" is so much overrated bosom-heaving pseudo-Gothic liverwurst. And has anyone ever actually READ "The Tenant of Wildfell Hall"? C'mon...anyone? Sister Charlotte gets a pass because her "Jane Eyre" holds up so nicely, possibly because its author clearly possessed the rudiments of a classic pulp imagination. Plus the story, which is a good 'un, was partial inspiration for I WALKED WITH A ZOMBIE---and how cool is that? But the best by far is that you can watch any or all the countless movie adaptations---ditto "Heights"---and con anyone into believing you read the novels.
This movie... when they revealed the armor towards the end, I literally fell of the sofa I was laughing so hard. Seriously, the homoeroticism in this movie is off the charts. Plus, the templars win 1st prize for the most fashion-forward death cult, and Fred Williamson steals every scene he's in with his overacting and we even have a slingshot that makes bullet sounds. I can't help but love this thing,
the templars: "we hate that progress and knowledge destroyed the old world. so we shall show our contempt by using the most sophisticated tech the old world had."
I always wonder what those crazy Italians were thinking when they made crap like this. I probably seen this when it was on VHS and promptly forgot it. Hope you were not too damaged by viewing... 😱
Cashing in on trends. James Bond is popular? Lots of movies about super-spies. Car-chase cop movies? Got that covered. Post-apocalypse subgenres? Those, also.
So, if my counting is correct, the three-button joystick does four things: open driver's door, open passenger door, open engine hood, and fire missiles. To quote Robin, "How does this work?" The best tricked out car I've seen in movies has to be the 1972 Buick Riviera from "Death Race 2" (2010), driven by a minor character named Apache. Usually, the hero and/or villain has the coolest car, but here is one time a side character outcools everyone. I don't think it is the worst, but I do get a chuckle (rather than fear) from the spiked Volkswagen from "The Cars That Ate Paris" (1974).
2:22 worse! It's "Bob" from *A Blade in the Dark* and "Bob (?)" from *The House by the Cemetery* and _still_ a better love story than *Twilight.* As far as pimped out cars go? Either *The Car* or the Weedmobile from *Cheech and Chong: Up in Smoke.* As far as terribly pimped out cars? Easy? *The Apple!*
A movie whose protagonist is less interesting, charismatic, and capable than literally everybody else in the cast. There used to be a site that had cover art of various DVD editions of this movie. Most of them did _not_ feature Scorpion. One had Fred Eastman's face on an armored body that does not appear in the movie. A number had a strangely light-skinned Fred Williamson along with the hot chick. Not going to lie: the Templars are an interesting idea. Who are they? Who was their leader before everything went to hell and back? What led him to declare war on any survivors? How do/did they recruit their members?
My friends and I could never afford a big shot like Fred Williamson to appear in our planned first film but maybe we could find room in the budget for a celebrity. I wonder how much it would cost to hire the "time to make the donuts" guy.
Warrior of the Lost World (1983) is hilariously bad and cheap, but has mucho explosions and a talking 'speedcycle' - it's better than you think (especially if you're wasted 😉) and also stars Williamson 🙂
In a Post-Apocalypse, a lone woman doesn't survive long unless she attaches herself to a strong, capable man. Her former one was taken out. So makes sense she'd attach herself to the very next strong, capable man who comes along. Even if it's that very same night. So, ironically that aspect of the film is realistic.
Mad Max, Dawn Of The Dead , The Terminator. The Italians must a cloning factory some where. Worse pimped out car, that's a tough one. No matter what I come up with, somebody is going to find one worse. The only thing I come up with is the van from Dumb And Dumber.
I love movies cars that are loaded with gadgets and weapons. The Batmobile, the Mach 5, the Black Beauty, any of James Bond's many rides, the list goes on.
As always, awesome review. And this one has entered my top 3 favorites. "...there's no way the super macho hero of an Italian movie is going to be... (...)" "He's definitely here to save people, this isn't personal, definitely not" (Aaaargh)... All right, maybe it's a little bit personal. Hilarious :D
I had a firebird like what the hero drives in this movie. It was my first car and tricked out for racing drag racing. One Saturday night for cruising we did it up like this car with a little rocket things in the back and maybe perhaps may have tried to put that Dome like thing on the top of it. That did not go well. However the little rocket things did and for one magic night we had a joystick we had rocket things in the back and we were driving around like it was 2019
I remember watching this in the 1980s. It was called "The New Barbarians" in the version I saw, and absolutely not at all Mad Max 2, which it rips off at every turn apart from the fashion choices. It is gloriously, fabulously bad and I love it!
The best worst pimped out ride I ever saw was in one of the many 80's "Alien lands in the industrial district of L.A." B-movies. The humanoid alien makes a supercar out of junk yard parts. Probably from a Fiero chassis. Damn. Can't remember the name. Does it ring a bell to anyone?
Before rising to power as the First Chancellor of the United States I will have earned a reputation among the revolutionaries as an otherwise nondescript man who nevertheless rose steadily through the ranks, from the lowest freedman boot soldier to commander of a renegade battalion hellbent on liberating as many cyber-slaves as humanly possible. During one crucial battle a load of dynamite will be shot from my shoulder where I'm carrying it, and I'll be blown clear with only minor bruises and slight damage to my hearing. This legend will precede me, even as I am inducted into the Black Rebel Motorcycle Corps of Supreme Court Justices.
Great one. I can't even begin to think of a comeback. By the way, your picture looks a whole lot like the depraved kidnapping psycho Santa in the comic book series--turned--outtasight SyFy TV adaptation HAPPY! God, but I loved that show! Still miss it too.@@TheRealNormanBates
I remember renting this AGES ago with my uncle. We were like 12 or 13 at the time, so all we saw were the Mad Max style car fights and some boobs. About 10 years ago I got it in a 50 movie DVD collection and couldn't help but laugh at how awful this movie actually is, and at how much we had gotten a kick out of it in the way back.
Surprised you didn't review this under its UK title "The New Barbarians". But anyway, hilariously bad stuff. When Bob from House by the Cemetery is the least gay thing about this, you know this has got to be bad.
Best and worst rides, eh? Well, you have to set the Mad Max movies aside because otherwise no one else has a chance. Personally, I'm rather fond of the Landmaster from _Damnation Alley_ but it was pretty extreme.
One thing I hate about these older movies where American actors appear in foreign films: Do I watch the film in English, with everyone else badly dubbed, or do I watch it in the original language with the American actor(s) badly dubbed? I suppose you could make a hybrid, version where everyone speaks their native language, but then you have people speaking different languages, yet still understanding each other.
I like when post-apocalyptic movies try a more futuristic aesthetic that just "the present but everything fell apart"... as for the movie's plot, aside from the villain very left field attempt to buckbreaking the hero, is rather dull
2 words: "sad max". ❤
That's a Josh Davis joke. But it's a great Josh Davis joke.
😁👍
Well done
Mad SkineMax
If I had a tenth of the charisma of Fred Williamson's moustache, I'd be a goddamn sexual Tyrannosaurus
long tail, small arms? 🤣
Nice Predator reference.
I have a soft spot for Italian science fiction movies of the 80s. They had less money than an episode of Doctor Who, and attempted to make up for it with sheer perviness.
George Miller: The first Mad Max movie was made on a very small budget.
Italian Producers: Hold our wine.
I bet this film had a higher budget than the first mad max
For god sake half the people on mad max got paid in beer, and most of the costumes were just stuff actors brought from home!
@@ConnorNotyerbidness The Van that destroys the telephone box, was Milers own camper van as the budget for Vehicles had already been spent.
PRODUCTION MEETING: "So how do we make these cars look futuristic?"
"Put a bunch of plastic bubbles everywhere."
"And the clothing...?"
"Same."
Wasn't that car designed by Homer Simpson for his brother's company...?!
Graham pitched that joke and I said no one would get it.
Just like the one in _The Apple._
lol
Fred Williamson said the best part of living in Italy are the Italian women. He moved to Italy and set up his own production company.
"...can we get some clarification..?" 😆
This was on UK VHS as The New Barbarians and, like all the Italian Post Apocolypse movies, was an insanely popular rental. We couldn't bring enough of those things into the video shop.
One of the funniest yet! The Idea that the hero's fighting skills were buttt- b@nged out of him - Zucker Brothers level satire !
I can see that being a Dr Chuck Tingle book; "Pounded in the Butt by my lost Martial Prowess".
This subject might well serve as the basis for a proposed master's thesis or doctoral dissertation: "The Significance of Anality & Homoeroticism as a Recurring Theme in Eighties Italian Science Fiction Cinema".
This isn't how i remember 2019
Several US cities weren't too far off.
Maybe Covid wasn't so bad...
it was a year off 😉
That was my 2019. A little less rapey & without the color coded bad guys but just like it
@@rubberneckinc.8937 if the outbreak lasted a few years more it would has gone all mad max probably
Portable Sex Cloche - band name!
The exploding arrow effect is fun.
Love that pun of the "I think she has a broken shoulder, but I nailed her" 🤣🤣🤣 Your channel is amazing
Anakin? That's Bob from "House by the Cemetery", way worse than little Vader.
Bob and Strike from "Escape 2000" AKA "Bronx Warriors 2".
He was also in Demons and Manhattan Baby.
How annoying he is largely depends on the dubbing.
Best pimped up ride in any of these films is MegaWeapon in warrior of the lost world. Nothing tops Megaweapon.
MEGAWEAPON! MEGAWEAPON! MEGAWEAPON!
When MST3K interviewed Megaweapon during that episode, my dad and I busted a gut laughing.
I just looked it up. It's certainly - er..........interesting.
@@christopherwall2121"Like... what wall... _man?"_
MegaWeapon can only be destroyed in one of two ways -using a gigantic nuclear weapon or just cutting a wire inside a flimsy little box.
Movies rarely get under Robin's skin this well anymore. 10/10 fricheks
It's odd how well the 'Lovers Tiff' Angel fit into the Narrative!
oh lord, it's the little brat from "House by the Cemetery"
Damn! I think you're right. I think it looks like him, anyway.
at least he wasn't voiced by the same creepy adult this time.
should we include him in with the Kennys?
"I blame the Brontës" has potential on a t-shirt or as the name of a band.
I thought the same thing!
Sincerely,
Heathcliff
@@HEDGE1011 "Heathcliff didn't howl at the moon!"
"Blame it on the Brontes". Oh hell yes! My Good Sir (Robin Bailes): believe me when I say that scores upon scores of survivors of advanced high school English salute you & your comforting words. "Wuthering Heights" is so much overrated bosom-heaving pseudo-Gothic liverwurst. And has anyone ever actually READ "The Tenant of Wildfell Hall"? C'mon...anyone? Sister Charlotte gets a pass because her "Jane Eyre" holds up so nicely, possibly because its author clearly possessed the rudiments of a classic pulp imagination. Plus the story, which is a good 'un, was partial inspiration for I WALKED WITH A ZOMBIE---and how cool is that? But the best by far is that you can watch any or all the countless movie adaptations---ditto "Heights"---and con anyone into believing you read the novels.
@@ashleys9397As an English lit major, I fully endorse this. Jane Eyre is the ONLY Brontë book worth a damn.
Scorpion was also in "Escape from the Bronx" made the same year.
Trash!
As far as cars go, that spikey Beetle from 'The Cars that Ate Paris' was an arresting image.
Well it's certainly no Book of Eli.
This movie... when they revealed the armor towards the end, I literally fell of the sofa I was laughing so hard. Seriously, the homoeroticism in this movie is off the charts. Plus, the templars win 1st prize for the most fashion-forward death cult, and Fred Williamson steals every scene he's in with his overacting and we even have a slingshot that makes bullet sounds. I can't help but love this thing,
This apocalypse has been brought to you by Balenciaga. 💀
Nadir should have been the protagonist. But that would have made for a short movie.
the templars: "we hate that progress and knowledge destroyed the old world. so we shall show our contempt by using the most sophisticated tech the old world had."
An Italian made post apocalypse action thriller from the 80s with Fred "The Hammer" Williamson...hell yeah! I'm there!
I have to admit I love Simonetti's soundtrack for this.
Love that line on "Lethal air conditioning" - No matter what the era, there's always something screwy with the HVAC system...
I also blame the Brontës; I have since 10th grade. Glad to see I’m not alone!
Ah, a fellow sufferer. I refer you to my above commiserating comments.
My parents didn't expect the initiation scene 😂😂😂
Come On, Boy! Lemme hear you squeal like a pig! Eeeeeee! Eeeeeeeeee!!
Ah, George Eastman. Most famous for eating his own intestines...and a fetus.
ah Italian post-apocalyptic films, I pray we never run out of these
Just finish watching the review and yeah maybe I could do without this one
Scorpion driving Homer's car? Does the horn play "La Cucaracha?"
I always wonder what those crazy Italians were thinking when they made crap like this. I probably seen this when it was on VHS and promptly forgot it. Hope you were not too damaged by viewing... 😱
Cashing in on trends. James Bond is popular? Lots of movies about super-spies. Car-chase cop movies? Got that covered. Post-apocalypse subgenres? Those, also.
@@julietfischer5056You forgot the cannibal zombie gut munchers that were made in the wake of the European release of Dawn of the Dead.
Apparently in this “wasteland” wash machines and laundromats are thriving!!! The bad guys ironically squeaky clean
The joystick in the car reninded me of the one in the original BSG...
So, if my counting is correct, the three-button joystick does four things: open driver's door, open passenger door, open engine hood, and fire missiles. To quote Robin, "How does this work?"
The best tricked out car I've seen in movies has to be the 1972 Buick Riviera from "Death Race 2" (2010), driven by a minor character named Apache. Usually, the hero and/or villain has the coolest car, but here is one time a side character outcools everyone.
I don't think it is the worst, but I do get a chuckle (rather than fear) from the spiked Volkswagen from "The Cars That Ate Paris" (1974).
You have to hold down tne CTRL button to access 3 of the functions. The oil slick and hopping hydraulic suspension didn't come up in the movie.
@@j3i2i2yl7 Nice Speed Racer reference there.😉
Rear-venge!
Oh You Brute! Ow! Ouch! Quit! Wait...no...don't quit. Oooh! Ow! Owee! Oomph! More! More! Ooooohhhhh....
RIP Anna Kanakis
2:22 worse! It's "Bob" from *A Blade in the Dark* and "Bob (?)" from *The House by the Cemetery*
and _still_ a better love story than *Twilight.* As far as pimped out cars go? Either *The Car* or the Weedmobile from *Cheech and Chong: Up in Smoke.* As far as terribly pimped out cars? Easy? *The Apple!*
"Can we get some clarification on 'finish him off?'" Had me laughing uncontrollably.
A movie whose protagonist is less interesting, charismatic, and capable than literally everybody else in the cast.
There used to be a site that had cover art of various DVD editions of this movie. Most of them did _not_ feature Scorpion. One had Fred Eastman's face on an armored body that does not appear in the movie. A number had a strangely light-skinned Fred Williamson along with the hot chick.
Not going to lie: the Templars are an interesting idea. Who are they? Who was their leader before everything went to hell and back? What led him to declare war on any survivors? How do/did they recruit their members?
Scorpio's car looks like a post apocalyptic Batmobile.
Oho! Those head exploding arrows were fantastic, though!
The best thing about this movie is its poster. Such amazing art. 3:32 Pain or pleasure? 🤔
Megaforce pimped up bikes for me.
Where, by the way, the jilted lovers narrative applies, too.
My friends and I could never afford a big shot like Fred Williamson to appear in our planned first film but maybe we could find room in the budget for a celebrity. I wonder how much it would cost to hire the "time to make the donuts" guy.
I think all you may need is a shovel because he may be dead.
@@skylx0812 Maybe we just CGI him? Could be cheaper?
Some mf'in flies always tryin to ice skate up hill toward a spider's mouth
Warrior of the Lost World (1983) is hilariously bad and cheap, but has mucho explosions and a talking 'speedcycle' - it's better than you think (especially if you're wasted 😉) and also stars Williamson 🙂
I see big hair is still in vogue after the apocalypse
That's not Anakin, that's BOB!!
(From House By the Cemetery.)
In a Post-Apocalypse, a lone woman doesn't survive long unless she attaches herself to a strong, capable man. Her former one was taken out. So makes sense she'd attach herself to the very next strong, capable man who comes along. Even if it's that very same night. So, ironically that aspect of the film is realistic.
Mad Max, Dawn Of The Dead , The Terminator. The Italians must a cloning factory some where. Worse pimped out car, that's a tough one. No matter what I come up with, somebody is going to find one worse. The only thing I come up with is the van from Dumb And Dumber.
I think someone on the production had stock in clear plastic bubble and accessories manufacturing
I love that the useless hero had a button specifically to blow off the driver’s side door
I love movies cars that are loaded with gadgets and weapons. The Batmobile, the Mach 5, the Black Beauty, any of James Bond's many rides, the list goes on.
I'm just glad Jane Eyre wasn't blamed....
The line "Can you clarify finish him off" have laughing so much. Thank you for making my day!
“Ugh,it’s Anakin Skywalker.”.Worse.It’s friggin’ Bob!
I remember the first time I watched this one and wasn't playing attention until the... Stuff in the Templar's camp. It was a real WTF moment. 😂
As always, awesome review. And this one has entered my top 3 favorites. "...there's no way the super macho hero of an Italian movie is going to be... (...)" "He's definitely here to save people, this isn't personal, definitely not" (Aaaargh)... All right, maybe it's a little bit personal. Hilarious :D
Great video as always
I had a firebird like what the hero drives in this movie. It was my first car and tricked out for racing drag racing. One Saturday night for cruising we did it up like this car with a little rocket things in the back and maybe perhaps may have tried to put that Dome like thing on the top of it. That did not go well. However the little rocket things did and for one magic night we had a joystick we had rocket things in the back and we were driving around like it was 2019
I remember watching this in the 1980s. It was called "The New Barbarians" in the version I saw, and absolutely not at all Mad Max 2, which it rips off at every turn apart from the fashion choices. It is gloriously, fabulously bad and I love it!
Love a bit of Italian movie insanity on a Tuesday morning.
"Tne car needs servicing"............Screw the car. George Eastman needs servicing. And I volunteer. Vroom vroom.
I think that Scorpion wasn’t ever a Templer, probably because he didn’t want to go thru with the initiation
He used to be such a considerate lover too!
The best worst pimped out ride I ever saw was in one of the many 80's "Alien lands in the industrial district of L.A." B-movies.
The humanoid alien makes a supercar out of junk yard parts. Probably from a Fiero chassis. Damn. Can't remember the name. Does it ring a bell to anyone?
Before rising to power as the First Chancellor of the United States I will have earned a reputation among the revolutionaries as an otherwise nondescript man who nevertheless rose steadily through the ranks, from the lowest freedman boot soldier to commander of a renegade battalion hellbent on liberating as many cyber-slaves as humanly possible. During one crucial battle a load of dynamite will be shot from my shoulder where I'm carrying it, and I'll be blown clear with only minor bruises and slight damage to my hearing. This legend will precede me, even as I am inducted into the Black Rebel Motorcycle Corps of Supreme Court Justices.
The BRMCSCJ? You have to come up with a better acronym than that.
Maybe the Supreme Court Riders of the Office of Justice... SCROTOS.
Great one. I can't even begin to think of a comeback. By the way, your picture looks a whole lot like the depraved kidnapping psycho Santa in the comic book series--turned--outtasight SyFy TV adaptation HAPPY! God, but I loved that show! Still miss it too.@@TheRealNormanBates
Haha loved your comments during this one mate 😂
"Gah, no, it's anakin skywalker". Close. It's Bob from House By The Cemetery.
Another correction for the Templar spiders don’t have mouths
Best pimped out movie car: Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Worst: The Griswolds’ Wagon Queen Family Truckster
Scorpion sure had a sting in his tail..
The bubble style is so futuristic.
3:03 careful, scorpion! General zod looks mad!
"Could we get some clarification on Finish Him Off?"
OMG i should know better than to eat while watching these.
The jokes I could make would get me in so much trouble. That being said, the lovers' quarrel theory is an interesting one.
I remember renting this AGES ago with my uncle. We were like 12 or 13 at the time, so all we saw were the Mad Max style car fights and some boobs. About 10 years ago I got it in a 50 movie DVD collection and couldn't help but laugh at how awful this movie actually is, and at how much we had gotten a kick out of it in the way back.
It's the Anthropophagus dude!!!! 😮
Kolchack: The Night Stalker reference at 6:55.
There is a Riff trax to that film. It is a great one.
Oh God! I bet that's funny. I'm looking that up. It would be the only way I could sit through this thing.
Surprised you didn't review this under its UK title "The New Barbarians". But anyway, hilariously bad stuff. When Bob from House by the Cemetery is the least gay thing about this, you know this has got to be bad.
This is such a fun film. Ludicrous in every way, particularly the hair and costume choices. I need to rewatch it.
I’m not sure if it counts as a ‘pimped out’ car, but I’ll say the glowing car from Repo Man (the 80’s film staring Emilio)
If post apocalypse Earth isn't like this, I'm not interested....
its annoying how difficult it is to find these movies even online, there so much fun to watch, better than most modern films
Fred Williamson's 'stache looks like a batarang.
Best and worst rides, eh? Well, you have to set the Mad Max movies aside because otherwise no one else has a chance. Personally, I'm rather fond of the Landmaster from _Damnation Alley_ but it was pretty extreme.
Actually the Landmaster was the sole good thing in that bastardly barf bag of a baddie.
You had me at "Runs" 😅🤣😂
The title is also the name for a cracking group on the Commodore 64.
There was an MST3K type show called "Public Domain Basement," and I saw this movie on it, and it was a good place to see it.
If he's going to "service" the car he best wait for the tailpipe to cool down first.
One thing I hate about these older movies where American actors appear in foreign films: Do I watch the film in English, with everyone else badly dubbed, or do I watch it in the original language with the American actor(s) badly dubbed? I suppose you could make a hybrid, version where everyone speaks their native language, but then you have people speaking different languages, yet still understanding each other.
Christ; that's the kid from HOUSE BY THE CEMETERY.And if I'd wanted someone to inform me of his name and filmography, I'd have asked ;)
Awful pimped- out vehicles? Can you say MEGAFORCE?
2:22 anakin, or Bob from house by the cemetery.
Or one of the children of the damned.
Sex cloche? I cannot get this phrase out of my head now....also, any film with George Eastman being scary is all fine with me.
I like when post-apocalyptic movies try a more futuristic aesthetic that just "the present but everything fell apart"... as for the movie's plot, aside from the villain very left field attempt to buckbreaking the hero, is rather dull
Hates Books yet loves Books on Tape, now that is a complicated protagonist.