How to STOP Catering to Manipulative People

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  • Опубліковано 7 лют 2025
  • If the relationship you wish to have with a person is based on them manipulating you, it will never be a relationship. Stop catering to these people! It doesn't matter if they are relatives, co-workers or friends.
    Searching for advice? Call 1-800-DR-LAURA / 1-800-375-2872 or make an appointment at DrLaura.com
    How to STOP Catering to Manipulative People
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    #drlaura #drlauraschlessinger #drlife #drphil #peoplepleasing #peoplepleaser #advice #adviceletters #advicecoach #manipulation

КОМЕНТАРІ • 97

  • @Holly-oe9sl
    @Holly-oe9sl 4 місяці тому +55

    I’ve learned in my 59 years people tend to idolize family and tolerate a whole lot of crap that they shouldn’t

  • @jm00727
    @jm00727 8 місяців тому +79

    Family can be the worst enemy's. Don't trust them. I was swindled out of my inheritance.

    • @stig
      @stig 7 місяців тому +8

      Me too. The house I was told I'd be getting my whole life went to my dead brothers 6 year old daughter. Most of my share went to the conservators.

    • @jm00727
      @jm00727 7 місяців тому

      @ChangingTides777 - Someone said once...."elderly parents & grandparents quickly taken away from their home or put away by their offspring as a false narrative to care for them so this narcissist sociopath can falsify the Will to take all they own and leave other siblings completely out of the Will. Elder financial abuse by family members is so common & never enforced"....and 'is' very true!

    • @keepingitreal-thatsright
      @keepingitreal-thatsright 6 місяців тому +2

      @ChangingTides777 Correct and perhaps it was changed

    • @tablescissors
      @tablescissors 4 місяці тому +1

      ESPECIALLY if emotional blackmail is a pattern in the relationships.
      It sucks, but you have to stay strong.
      Doctor Laura saw straight through this situation, it was amazing.
      “DARVO” is a psychological term, look out for true narcissists doing this.

    • @janofokc
      @janofokc 3 місяці тому +1

      I was fast talked out of my inheiratance thanks to my sister Betty. She has cheated many family and friends over her 56 years on this earth. All in the name of love and family.

  • @katherinepll
    @katherinepll 7 місяців тому +50

    I have a sister just like that. Dr. Laura is exactly right. Your brother is a bully, and you will be better off keeping him out of your life! I know from experience!

    • @hcmangs3634
      @hcmangs3634 2 місяці тому +1

      Also have a toxic bully brother. Very textbook narcissist. Struggle with both my parents being passive aggressive with me and keep asking me to go on vacation all together. Like Dr Laura said, my brother has behaved the same toxic way his whole life, I kept forgiving and ‘coming back’ time after time until it escalated too much. Still really struggle and so sad how my parents treat me and don’t empathize with how me and my child treated, they just want me to ‘forgive’ and act like all good

  • @froggreen2067
    @froggreen2067 7 місяців тому +37

    About 25 to 30 years ago, I did listen to Dr. Schlessinger.
    I am married 30 years now, thanks to her advice.
    Thanks 🙏 ❤

    • @drlaura
      @drlaura  7 місяців тому +6

      Wonderful!

    • @montana-road-kill-harvest
      @montana-road-kill-harvest 7 місяців тому +1

      Me too! In 1999 I would listen to her while working in my cubicle in LA. Never thought about daycare being bad. Now 25 years later I have 4 kids that I stayed at home with and also homeschooled them all. They're great. Healthy physically and mentally. Married still as well. I give her credit for those decisions early on when they were tiny. Thanks Dr Laura

    • @nickdipaolofan5948
      @nickdipaolofan5948 3 місяці тому +1

      @@drlaura I am a man in his 40's. When I was in my early 20's and single I would listen to Dr Laura when I would travel for my job. We need MORE no-nonsense people like Laura these days! Too many people these days lacking personal accountability in relationships and they need to stop listening to yes-men therapists and need to tune into Dr Laura!

  • @vickywright4623
    @vickywright4623 7 місяців тому +35

    Wow I can relate to this! My brother did this to me and disappeared after our parents passed. He treated me terribly when money became involved. I didn’t get anything but $100 and he knew that I wasn’t going to try and fight it. Too exhausting for me at 67! I had to let it go and realize I never knew him at all.

    • @tishamonroe7418
      @tishamonroe7418 4 місяці тому +2

      ditto!!!!!! not the person I want in my life again. selfish deceptive snake. i dont like snakes.😉

    • @carolbarrett6492
      @carolbarrett6492 2 місяці тому

      @@tishamonroe7418 Nothing wrong with snakes. Snakes are good as are all creatures EXCEPT sneaky humans.

  • @9liveslisa
    @9liveslisa 8 днів тому +1

    You are such a truth teller. I love it! Let's cut to the chase!

  • @LynneMoyer-s3i
    @LynneMoyer-s3i 4 місяці тому +10

    I went to Dr. Laura’s birthday party in Las Vegas for her 50th I gave her a Harley Davison tee shirt it was a good time my birthday is the same day as hers just different year👍

    • @drlaura
      @drlaura  4 місяці тому +2

      Oh wow! Thank you for the good memory!

    • @karenkramer3760
      @karenkramer3760 4 місяці тому

      @@drlaura I also share your Jan. 16th birthday. Once I called you for advice on KFI on our birthday and wished you a happy birthday. And told you it was also my birthday. And you wished me a happy birthday as well. You liked my question and our interaction so well that you said it didn't surprise you that I was born on the best day of the year. You made me feel so good that day.

  • @jennybioche4699
    @jennybioche4699 7 місяців тому +31

    You look wonderful, Dr. Laura! Glad you’re still at it!

    • @drlaura
      @drlaura  7 місяців тому +6

      Thank you so much!

    • @jamesjazzy8040
      @jamesjazzy8040 6 місяців тому +2

      I know, and i'm so glad I found this program. She's right about 78% of the time...

    • @lauriecollins7312
      @lauriecollins7312 26 днів тому

      @@jamesjazzy8040I prefer snakes.

  • @reggiecovill7028
    @reggiecovill7028 7 місяців тому +28

    I haven't heard your voice since the 80s or 90s when you were on KSTP in the Twin Cities.
    I'm happy you are doing well and will be listening once again.
    I still use and share things I learned from you !!!

    • @drlaura
      @drlaura  7 місяців тому +4

      Welcome back!

  • @kathleendelrio2391
    @kathleendelrio2391 27 днів тому +1

    Omg… this is a great example of what I have not been doing with a manipulative son!!!!

  • @amygonzales9146
    @amygonzales9146 7 місяців тому +14

    "What part of you is thinking beside of your brain " Yep!! Thank You Dr. Laura 😎😎

    • @drlaura
      @drlaura  7 місяців тому +2

      You are so welcome!

    • @tablescissors
      @tablescissors 4 місяці тому

      Kind, empathetic people, can too often be pushovers by overthinking things - especially against manipulative people; it’s worth pointing out, especially to women who are socially conditioned to do this.

  • @bobbydeluca
    @bobbydeluca 7 місяців тому +12

    It's much better, not only, to take responsibility of your own actions but using the information gained to make much better choices. I'm not in any way perfect, but I'm better than I was. Progress not perfection. I thank God for putting her program (and her books) into my life.

  • @jayniekinser7029
    @jayniekinser7029 5 місяців тому +11

    I like Dr. Laura’s personality.

    • @jillanglemyer3168
      @jillanglemyer3168 5 місяців тому +1

      Direct and to the point. She isn’t a hand holder.

    • @debbiepowers4743
      @debbiepowers4743 4 місяці тому

      I find her abrasive and irritating just like she finds her callers.

    • @jayniekinser7029
      @jayniekinser7029 3 місяці тому

      Well, you don’t need to listen and you don’t need to be a Debbie Downer. I think of her like a parent. I enjoy Dr. Laura.

    • @mollyswanner1607
      @mollyswanner1607 3 місяці тому

      ​@@debbiepowers4743she doesn't want to know what you had for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Just the facts, and she tells the truth

  • @abmrose
    @abmrose 7 місяців тому +27

    Everything sounds good except that he doesn’t need or deserve an apology.

    • @lizzi437
      @lizzi437 7 місяців тому +12

      Great point. "I can see your disappointed." might work better.

    • @olatooreraola8409
      @olatooreraola8409 7 місяців тому +1

      ​@@lizzi437 I co-sign this

    • @uploadingjoy9120
      @uploadingjoy9120 7 місяців тому +5

      But "sorry you're disappointed" can be classified as a non-apology so I think it works in this case.

    • @abmrose
      @abmrose 7 місяців тому +1

      @@uploadingjoy9120 people like this don’t see the nuance

    • @LogisticallyMisrepresented
      @LogisticallyMisrepresented 7 місяців тому

      People like who, ​@@abmrose.?

  • @slotbunny
    @slotbunny 7 місяців тому +15

    Dr. Laura is the BEST! I like this video so much!

  • @traceytansley1659
    @traceytansley1659 2 місяці тому +3

    You could say to the brother, "By the same token, if the houses value (due to market fluctuations), dropped much below the appraisal from the following year, should the brother be paying you the difference?" It works both ways...therefore NOT a consideration at all.

  • @kathleenzinkovitch4050
    @kathleenzinkovitch4050 7 місяців тому +12

    I love your wisdom..your so right

  • @jeannelenhart9355
    @jeannelenhart9355 7 місяців тому +13

    You look fabulous!! Love the red!!💜💜💜💜

    • @drlaura
      @drlaura  7 місяців тому +2

      Thank you so much

  • @olatooreraola8409
    @olatooreraola8409 7 місяців тому +9

    Thank you Dr Laura❤❤❤. This is so insightful and ready-to-use

    • @drlaura
      @drlaura  7 місяців тому +2

      You are so welcome!

  • @MichelleL20942
    @MichelleL20942 7 місяців тому +10

    Such good advice❤

  • @hcmangs3634
    @hcmangs3634 8 днів тому

    Beyond helpful, Dr Laura, beyond helpful 🙏

  • @818nooner
    @818nooner 2 місяці тому +1

    Absolutely love this woman! Dr. Laura you are awesome! 🎉

  • @mariemosier9805
    @mariemosier9805 7 місяців тому +4

    You go, Dr Laura. Yes ❤

  • @mikepraed4623
    @mikepraed4623 6 місяців тому +6

    Loved listening to you on AM talk radio every weekday right before Rush. 😊
    Know that you pissed off several weak guys on construction sites but they knew you were right! 😂

    • @drlaura
      @drlaura  6 місяців тому +2

      And I’ve never stopped preaching, teaching, and nagging those who are “limp” ____!

    • @mikepraed4623
      @mikepraed4623 3 місяці тому

      @@drlaura Its called repentance. Nobody likes being told they are living wrong. Our problem, mine included is we've been drinking the Kool-aid of wrong-think our whole lives. I thank God for people like you.
      ☺️

  • @foxtrot4597
    @foxtrot4597 Місяць тому

    Dr Schlesinger always gives such practical counsel.

  • @mariad4183
    @mariad4183 7 місяців тому +7

    Sound advice!

  • @cbwil3121
    @cbwil3121 7 місяців тому +2

    amen..often they are relatives..so much..One thing is intimidation..like agree with me or ill get very angry..or even hit you..

  • @mlockey1
    @mlockey1 Місяць тому +1

    Would he come back if the value of the house dropped and said he was going to give you the difference?

  • @marciamellow1211
    @marciamellow1211 5 місяців тому +3

    Boy.. I wish I had all the answers.

  • @jukodebu
    @jukodebu 6 місяців тому +3

    I miss Dr Laura loved her show on KFI

    • @drlaura
      @drlaura  6 місяців тому

      But SiriusXM has given me the greatest freedom to preach, teach, and nag! Hope you’re listening to my Call of the Day and Deep Dive podcast on your favorite podcast platform as well!

  • @hcmangs3634
    @hcmangs3634 8 днів тому

    Please post the opening monologue to this. Thank you

  • @isabelhernandez5530
    @isabelhernandez5530 7 місяців тому +3

    Mi querida doctora laura❤

  • @sunchic077
    @sunchic077 4 місяці тому

    Absolutely brilliant.

  • @hcmangs3634
    @hcmangs3634 2 місяці тому +1

    Where is the full video with the open monologue?

  • @healthisachoice5967
    @healthisachoice5967 7 місяців тому +7

    Wisdom is the principal thing. Most all of our problems with people are rooted in our own weaknesses. When you trust JESUS where you are weak, Jesus is strong in you. Having the wisdom of Jesus sure helps in dealing with manipulators. What is in the heart comes out of the mouth. What an accuser says to you, is what they are. Have faith in God and trust God with the discipline of the brother. If you trust God to give you breath, you can trust God with a bratty brother. He loves us all and disciplines those he loves. Don't be afraid of what family thinks of you, only be concerned that you are pleasing to God. Great Advice.

  • @carolcollins6739
    @carolcollins6739 День тому

    Thank you

  • @MZ-ol6bd
    @MZ-ol6bd 9 днів тому

    I don't think the repairs necessary should have fallen to brother to pay. The poor condition of the house wasn't his fault. or am I missing something?

  • @spirithealingtools
    @spirithealingtools 4 місяці тому +2

    Excellent

  • @generalpatton838
    @generalpatton838 4 місяці тому +3

    "STOP Catering to Manipulative People". Politicians?

  • @jamesjazzy8040
    @jamesjazzy8040 7 місяців тому +9

    I'm disappointed neither of you knew this, but the appraisal is the way the house sits now. The value already took into consideration it needed work. Therefore, the answer should have been the brother gets nothing Regardless of anything else.. If the Roof was recently done, the appraisal would have been higher, that's all....

  • @allisonmussman5760
    @allisonmussman5760 2 місяці тому +1

    You both agreed to the deal … end of the story.

  • @lilymungham5868
    @lilymungham5868 4 місяці тому +1

    If a person agrees to something they shouldn’t come back a year later for more. They should have discussed this with a lawyer.
    Sounds like gaslighting

  • @hiddenhand6973
    @hiddenhand6973 4 місяці тому +1

    It’s in the past now, but whose portion of the house needed repairs, his half or her half? Taking the total cost for pairs out of the price of the house doesn’t seem fair because it’s a house that belongs to both of them so both of them should be responsible for the repairs. Therefore he should only have to pay for half of the repairs. Of course, this has nothing to do with the relationship or advice given. It’s in the past now so he should let it go.

  • @ladygracesparkles
    @ladygracesparkles 4 місяці тому +2

    Dr. Laura loves to interrupt her callers, she needs to dominate every conversation. What an abrasive personality.

    • @drlaura
      @drlaura  4 місяці тому +6

      But ironically it’s certain callers talking over not wanting to hear me preach, teach, and nag to do the right thing. Keep on listening, it will all make sense one day.

    • @MayJ-gu2wh
      @MayJ-gu2wh 3 місяці тому

      Still doesn't make sense yet

    • @candycane4856
      @candycane4856 2 місяці тому +2

      Because Dr. Laura understands the situation and solutions in 30 seconds or less yet callers prattle on and on without getting to the point. They need to be cut off or the call would go on forever. I'm glad when she keeps the conversation streamlined and interesting. You can call it abrasive - I call it smart.

  • @barbaratells1285
    @barbaratells1285 7 місяців тому +3

    Brilliant 😊

  • @StephanieStone4737
    @StephanieStone4737 3 місяці тому

    In thinking about this, I think it’s this caller who is possibly the manipulator who bamboozled her brother over what sounds like their parents’ home. The home inspection should always come before the appraisal. The appraisal includes all of the repairs that would be needed and is factored into the condition of the home and is therefore an “as is” thing. So it seems possible the caller had the inspection done after the appraisal as a means to have a lower buyout from her brother. Also, she most likely knew for years she wanted their home, so think about that.
    It either took her brother a year to realize what his sister pulled on him, or it took him that long to work up the nerve to confront her about it. That said, it is too late at that point since he agreed to it.
    I don’t believe the brother was using their relationship over this caller’s head as a weapon to get what he wanted. I think it is as clear as day he is done with her himself which is why it may have taken him a year to confront her about it.
    My own brother was not going to keep his word he had given me after our mother died. He was nothing but a hostile jackass the whole time, and I handled the Estate. I called him on all of his behavior, because I had already written him off and had decided I was done with him. He ended up doing the right thing, but I still do not want him in any part of my life because of who he is.

  • @delyce22
    @delyce22 5 місяців тому +1

    Exactly. Just stop it, heed your own message. And being able to play music on a sirius xm radio station does not make one a genius. A genius would be someone who eradicates cancer, alzheimer's, stops crime, etc.

    • @drlaura
      @drlaura  5 місяців тому

      Genius: A person of extraordinary intellect and talent.

  • @tishamonroe7418
    @tishamonroe7418 4 місяці тому

    you are still beautiful!!!!!! and classy

  • @debbiepowers4743
    @debbiepowers4743 4 місяці тому

    My brother and I were in the same situation. He paid me for my half of the house. We got the assessed value of the house from the tax office and we split it in half and he paid me for my half. I’m sure the house needed some repairs but that was irrelevant. I don’t know if his sister tried to cheat him, but I don’t think he should’ve paid for repairs for her house. Too bad it took him a year to figure it out. It’s fascinating how Dr. Laura can decide a persons entire character in less than 15 seconds. She makes this guy out to be a manipulative, horrible person. He’s probably a pretty nice guy, and over the last year, it probably dawned on him that he shouldn’t have had to pay for repairs, but you wouldn’t know it by listening to Dr. Laura.

    • @njcanuck
      @njcanuck 3 місяці тому +1

      I disagree. It wasn't her house at time of death. If a house is sold on the open market, buyers often reduce the price by the cost of repairs. The house 'as is' needed repair, thus affecting the transfer value.

  • @DouglasGreenough-q8i
    @DouglasGreenough-q8i 19 днів тому

    I'll make a t added your last name and the ✖️uh🚫 was just.....I meant no disrespect Dr. LAURA I GET carried away and on the financial talk showbiz can't remember if I explained she calls and said that the guy would marry her but she would not be on his checking account and she was concerned about that I think they'd been together a while and I sat there thinking you line of questions would have been completely different because I payed attention because some of those calls 📞 you got were most interesting one's because in a sense you wouldn't always just agree with everyone one and you kind defined guys at times and girls and it made sense I'm tired I hope you understand I'm " well your intelligent you will understand enough and what am I forgetting huh I will " oh some calls the person would understand and even thank you and I'm kinda Laughing because at least two girls hung up on you....... in fact a girl just hung up on you on your show on my other phone you say call her back " oh I see it's about the same some people are just fine that way now your saying just pack your bag's ha ha' oh that song I like to play I'm just having fun we come from that generation where ...... we'll like my cassette if the wild west trail would end in New Jersey I'm tired well see Laughing 😅.