I was hoping that you were going to mention this, but it's okay since you did discuss consent and sexual abuse quite a lot in this video. But there was this one post about this book that broke my heart. A 10 year old girl went to her school's library with her mom to get a book, and she chose It's Perfectly Normal. When she got home and started reading the book, she opened up the chapter about sexual abuse, showed it to her mom and said, "This is me". Her dad was assaulting her. The only reason her dad got charged was because this book gave that little girl a name to what was happening to her. The judge said something along the lines of "There were two heroes in this story, the girl and the book." Removing this book from all US shelves will lead to more CSA cases being unreported. This book saved a 10 year old's life, so why do people want to ban it so bad?
Because they want to perpetuate CSA. I know you were being rhetorical, but I just want to explicitly verbalize that so many of these "controversies" become clear if you see them as an abuser trying to protect his ability to abuse. Obv Not All Conservatives (TM) are the exact same, but ultimately they believe that hierarchies should be unchallenged, and part of that hierarchy (of race, patriarchy, etc...) is that abuse is okay and even proper if it's from higher up to someone lower down. I.e. Men can abuse women, parents can abuse kids, whites can abuse black people, straights can abuse queer people, etc... and that's normal, not harmful. It's vital for them to protect that and anything that threatens the ability to abuse is threatening their worldview
My jaw is on the floor. I'm glad she had the tools to express what was happening, but still this isn't what they are trying to stop. They want to stop grown consenting adults from being together, but kids getting assaulted but grown typically cis, straight, men no outrage there. Cause atleast it's natural 🥴
@@celaiblasonHonestly, I think we need to be really careful not to say that sexual assault is the fault of any one side of the political spectrum, when, in reality, it is apolitical. Jeffrey Epstein, for instance, was a Democrat. And while the Democrats are most definitely not the most left leaning bunch in the world, that certainly made him no conservative Republican, either. The truth is, sexual assault is apolitical, and if we start politicizing it, then our biases cause us to turn a blind eye to the places in which it is happening, but that our biases tell us it isn't. That, in turn, is how sexual assault goes unreported, and its victims left vulnerable.
These comments, are the same way some conservatives talk about liberals and progressives: "they're evil, they want to groom, and SA children". The painting with a broad brush, is so unhelpful. This is some really dark version of horseshoe theory, in action. Has nothing to do with your (very hopeful) comment, OP, just those following.
I have a cousin who had something similar happen to her, but with just general sex-ed anti-CSA discussions. She was 3 years old and her mum and dad, during bathtime, told her that no one other than mummy and daddy should touch between her legs. My cousin added, "and uncle Andy!". He wasn't charged with sexual abuse against her due to lack of evidence, but multiple other minor girls instead.
Parent here. My son is 4. My plan is to talk to him about sex alongside my husband when it is the right time to do so age wise. We have talked to him about his body, including his genitals and discussed how they are not to be touched or looked at by anyone other than us and doctors while also explaining that as he gets older we won't be allowed to look at his private parts either but doctors still can if he's sick and needs help. He's reached a point where he's actively asking for privacy in the bathroom, even though he still needs help raising up his underwear and pants. I'm really proud of him for verbalizing the need for privacy and repeating to us that he plans to learn to wipe himself all by himself because he knows we're not allowed to look at his private parts as he gets older.
Good job, keep it up! I remember reading about one mom going over body parts and consent to her 4-year-old, and I think that's a really good base to have for younger children.
Sounds like you're doing a great job establishing his right to privacy and bodily autonomy! Sorry to give unsolicited parenting advice, but maybe consider that as he gets older reassuring him that if there's something he's unsure of down there, it's still okay to ask/show you first if he's unsure about going to the doctor right away (e.g. one of my brothers got genital warts before he was sexually active). You seem very thoughtful and considerate so I'm sure you would have thought about this anyway when the time comes :)
TW: CSA I used to know someone who educated their kids similarly. When their daughter was in preschool, she had a friend who said something like, "I don't like it when my mom brings men over, because I have to put on makeup and go in the bedroom with them." My friend's daughter recognized this as one of the things Mommy said should never happen, so she told her parents what was happening to her friend. They called CPS, and fortunately there was enough evidence to get the girl removed from the home. So you're not just protecting your own son by teaching him about his body and consent, you could even end up saving another child. Your son is fortunate to have parents like you!
@@16poetisa the "except mom and dad" thing always gives me pause since I know people who were abused by a parent and I wonder if that would have normalized it even more for them. But I'm sure you give additional context about when and how it's okay for them to be touched by you and why. It seems like you're doing a good job with educating him
"some people may never be interested" I needed that as a kid! I wouldn't have forced myself into so many uncomfortable and unsafe situations if I had had that.
Because nobody mentioned asexuality to me until my 20s, I literally made up a conspiracy theory to explain why the media normalised sex and it caused several bad decisions I wouldn’t have made otherwise 🙈 And my parents did give me a not as good book as this to read and I did have sex ed in school that covered homosexuality and bisexuality existing… just no asexuality existing. It’s insane how simple it would be to explain this to kids too; in its simplest form, some people like girls, some people like boys, some people like both, and some people don’t like either. There are more nuances to it than that, sure, but that sort of simple explanation could cover the basics quite early on, around the time parents are teasingly asking you if you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, for example.
@@spookylittlebatOHHHH MY GOD because of my parents’ terrible marriage I thought movies only showed people getting together but not established couples because they never stay happy, and I thought it was a conspiracy to put romance in everything so that people would get married even though it would make them miserable. and in middle school I was angsty about romance because it was sooo poorly written in my beloved sci fi novels. I knew I was ace from the internet but was in denial about liking romance manga back then, lol. I’m demi now, though, which is wild.
When that lawmaker said that he knew children married at 12 to adults who were still in those marriages, I was so horrified. And he said it like it proves something positive that those marriages weren't ended. I had to pause because I thought I might start weeping at the thought of those poor children, maybe now teens, maybe now adults, who are still tied to their rapists and perhaps not understanding the ways in which they've been wronged. The parents who gave their consent (and it shouldn't be theirs to give) to the marriages should be held criminally accountable as well. Lawmakers who suggest or support child marriage should not be allowed to hold a position of authority and need to be investigated. As an individual, I am fully comfortable considering those lawmakers sex offenders and paedophiles from their stance on child marriages alone.
I remember seeing a story about a black woman (girl) this happen to. She was being sexually Assaulted by her yourh pastor and when she told her parents to avoid shame at the church they married her off to him. She was 12 and he was like 23-25. She had like 8 -10 kids by him and couldn’t get away until i think the oldest was an adult and now she an advocate for getting these laws over turned. A lot of states still have these old laws in place from the early 1900s still on the books.
I agree with you 100%. If its not you getting married, you have no say in whether or not it happens. No one should ever be married without their express consent, ESPECIALLY when they are not legally capable of giving said consent. Anyone who thinks otherwise is honestly monstrous. Like, I get that historically (and to this day in some countries) marriage was more of an alliance between families than it was an affirmation of love between the betrothed. But even then, to force your child into a position where they feel trapped and unsafe? You can make an alliance-marriage work without love, but you can't make ANY marriage work without trust.
As a parent my general rule is: if they're mature enough to ask, then they're mature enough to learn. Additionally, just because they don't ask, doesn't mean they don't need it yet.
I actually like this notion a lot, but there's something so funny to me about this concept. "Daddy, how do you make babies??" "I had sex with your mom." I know that's not at all how it would play out, but it's still funny to me. Awesome parenting tip btw !!!!!!!!
Absolutely. Although it can get tricky if your 4 year old asks how plants do photosynthesis. But their brains are like sponges. And if you don't put info into them, they'll pick stuff up randomly and get half of it backwards.
When I was a child I stumbled across porn on the internet and got a addiction, that is what shaped my view of sex and what educated me about all the things I know. Kids should be learning about sex in a way that is healthy,realistic, and unbiased.
Still unlearning toxic and unrealistic dynamics learnt from porn as a child to this day... it effects your entire sexual life into being an adult. Not to say porn is this awful thing all the time, but it definitely can be a bit much for a kid to experience, or weaponized to groom kids. Especially when they are not being educated otherwise, porn becomes a child's perceptual reality.
Exactly... If you don't provide something healthy kids WILL go searching and find something you have no control over and that can potentially harm them for YEARS. How many of us looked up stuff online we shouldn't have and possibly even chatted with and maybe met up with grown adults we shouldn't have, had we known better.
Wait so it’s not disgusting of me that I watched porn once or twice when I was little- I didn’t understand what I was seeing. Im ashamed looking back on it, and still am.
@Will0wisp_ it's normal. Especially since you were not taught about sex, sexual education, etc. Sex is not shameful, and the only reason it is viewed as shameful is largely due to the growth of the Abrahamic religions. You should talk to a therapist or counselor that can help you.
I got ptsd. I never understand a p addiction, but I can understand how it can happen. People react differently to that stuff. I'm demis*xual so I don't find p*rn hot or anyone in it hot. S&x scenes, words, phrases (mainly slang), and even this book is triggering. Certain things anyway.
Absolutely. I gasped when I heard that evil cancer cell of a man say, “yea, and they’re still married” in reference to a 12 year old girl being married to a grown ass man. What does that have to do with anything?? Yea, I bet they are. Since he’s a possessive predator who has been allowed to dominate this girl’s life, as if she’s nothing more than his play thing. Absolutely revolting and enraging. Truly the darkness knows no limits, and it happens around the world daily.
It's so funny because, purity culture only made me ashamed of my body, and desire and guilty after engaging in sexual acts. The ONLY thing that actually made me NOT want to have sex was when I learned how easily STDs were transmitted IN SEX ED. Only at 26 am I unleaning sexual repression and deconstructing the damage purity culture has done. I lost my virginity at 23 5 years into a relationship because I was TERRIFIED of what it said about me as a person to be on birth control outside of marriage despite my feelings of eventually wanting to marry my current partner. This book made me uncomfortable because I'm trying to unlearn all of the harmful ideas that these things are "not normal" and something to be ashamed of. This book is great because it approaches the subject in a netural way.
I've read that abstinence-only sex ed doesn't really help reduce teen pregnancy/STI rates (and might actually make the problem worse? idk), while comprehensive sex ed like this actually does reduce such rates. Hope your further healing goes well!
Right and when we do learn about STDs we can feel like it's just more crazy abstinence talk and second guess its validity. Can feel hard to trust sex education in any form when the first things you hear are obvious scare mongering, which is super harmful because of course STDs are real and an increasing public health threat!
Aye yo, we stan personal growth! From what I've seen in my 40 years so far is that purity culture does massive direct AND collateral damage. It's really hard to work on and work through. Be kind to yourself; it's a process with lots of starts and stops, and it can sometimes take a long time. Seek a professional if you ever feel you need it. Call your state's department of Health and Human Services if you can't afford one, sometimes they can help. Well, if you're in the US that is. There's lots of people out there trained on how to help people in your position. I'm glad you're seeing sex as something neutral, because it is! Wanting sex is hard coded into most people. You don't fight the urge to breathe, another biological function, and sex is no different. So if you want to have sex, listening to your body isn't "bad" or "good", it just means processes in your body you have no control over are active. So go have some hella fun sex and enjoy it! You deserve it!
Noticeable overlap between people who want to ban sex Ed and people who are okay with child marriage... Edit: those who are asking for evidence clearly didn't watch the whole video. Kat literally has a whole section on it at 11:00
The Venn Diagram is practically a circle. See also: People who think LGBTQ people just existing is "grooming," but will put their infants in onesies that allude to them being "flirts" and "ladykillers."
Knowledge is power. My mom talked to me about sex and masturbation in elementary school and she answered any questions I had over the coming years. I’m now 24 and still a virgin. I’ll engage when I am ready and comfortable with someone, but I don’t feel like I’m in any rush. 😌
This makes me feel so much better!! I’m 19 and a virgin and I feel so strange about but I’m just not emotionally ready yet and seeing someone just own it just makes me happy :)
I’m a guy but older men have attempted to groom me when I was underage. Thankfully I knew better and got away from them but other kids might not be so lucky. This book is filled with valuable knowledge and it’s very telling that Republicans want it banned.
Really shows that when they call lgbtq+ people groomers they're not really concerned about grooming and childrens safety. If they were concerned about that they'd be advocating for better sex ed and wouldn't be banning this book.
Exactly!! This will help sooooooo many kids to say no or what to see in these grooming situations. But these adults complaining are not wanting kids to have a say in their own bodies.
I was almost groomed by an old dude who talked to me when going to my mom's job, I didn't kniw how to say no and I ended up giving him my number, some weeks past and he begins sending me photos of naked women and saying "you like what you see even if you're playing hard to get" I instantly blocked and flagged him with Child abuse, stayed at my house for a week and never saw him again. If only I was taught how to say no and recognised him as a pedo earlier I wouldn't have been in such a picke, luckly nothing happened, but still to think that sick man is around and maybe even talking to unsuspecting children is enough to disgust me
If 'Everybody Poops' was released today, we'd hear a culture war about it for the next 10 years 🙄 Remember what they say about the people who start their burnings with books, folks.
"I know 12 year-olds who got married. And guess what, they still are.' Wow. It MUST be true love. /s Seriously, I'm getting really sick of oxygen being wasted on these people.
@@courtneywitherspoon8584 marrying someone when they're 12 gives you more than enough time to make sure they never leave you and learn to "love" you and what's happening to them.
@sophiepooks2174 my experiences are my business, but if you're looking for first hand experiences, plenty of child brides have shared their stories. Google is your friend. Have a blessed day.
"Groomers look for an unattended child, who is not being monitored, who is eager to find approval from an adult." This is the REAL reason children need monitoring and supervision from competent, responsible adults. Not to "protect them from themselves," as so many religious righties like to say it, but to protect them from SEXUAL PREDATORS of all ages. Thank you for saying that! ❤❤❤
100%. i was unfortunately heavily groomed as a teenager and i can say, without a shadow of a doubt, that all 3 of these contributed to my trauma. i was an unattended teen, completely unmonitored (due to home environment), and was VERY eager to find approval from an adult (due to abuse/emotional neglect from both of my parents). this coupled with my mom’s constant shaming of my body and sexuality, i never came forward. it’s taken me years to fully comprehend what’s happened to me, and it’ll take me much longer to heal. it’s a slow process but i’m making some day by day. all i can say to any parent out there is…. just watch your kid. love them, care for them, and protect them
Maybe if I had books similar to that or any comprehensive sex education at all I wouldn’t have ended up so damaged. I didn’t know you could question your sexuality. I didn’t know girls could have sex with each other. I had a crush on a female friend and had no idea what was happening. I’m just now fully accepting myself at 39. Internalized homophobia stole all the happiness from my life.
Oh, I feel you. I had so many feelings I didn't understand about my best friend for like almost a decade and it took me years after that to truly accept I'm not a man, and that my relationship with my gf in highschool was probably because she was gnc and I like gnc in any gender😂
Fr. And growing up in the south they did have lessons on what was ok and not ok, but never to this specificity or detail. They just said “if someone puts their hands here or here it’s bad” but there’s so many other ways you can be assaulted, it’s not always straight forward like that. Maybe if I had known what sex was, I would’ve known that the assault that happened to me was bad because I would’ve comprehended what was happening, and I could’ve told an adult sooner.
12:02 that other guy was so proud he knew a kid that was married at age 12 and they were still married, like as if that's automatically good. That's pretty f'd up.
In this case, dude was talking about two 12 year olds who were married to each other with their respective families' consent, and while not horrifying in the sus adult/vulnerable minor aspect, the situation is still questionable because why are religious groups marrying children to each other????
When that one man said that a little 12 year old was "still married" I wanted to vomit. They certainly want "heterosexual" grooming to continue happening in the name of Christain Conservative values.
Not related to child marriage, but still related to forced marriage. My dad with old Asian values was of the opinion that there’s nothing wrong with arranged marriages; hell, it might be even better because you don’t see people who were traditionally arranged to marry someone they’ve never met before their wedding day get divorced. That is, until my Muslim friend’s mom took her own life because that was the only way out for her. Divorce was not an option in the strict religious household. After that, I explained to my dad about WHY the divorce rate is so low, and he finally understood.
The fact that that guy said this book is pornography is just so unhinged. It's a self-report. It's *clearly* not made with the intent to arouse, like porn is, it says more about his reaction to the content of the book than the book itself.
Even that the men are right. It's deserved to get action to this book or banned would be better. Parents and science (sex and education) are there to tell the children. Not this pathetic book.
@@heatblast876no, theyre just gonna say some shit like "mommy and daddy kissed one day and then suddenly a baby appeared on our door" or some dumb watered-down toddler shit
I had a single instance of CSA, and the therapist I had because of that event made my mom buy this book for me when I started puberty. Overall, it was a relief to read. It was the book that made it the most clear to me that what happened wasn't my fault, and that I didn't have to feel ashamed of having my own urges as I developed. This was 15+ years ago. I've been so confused as to why people are putting up a huge fuss NOW.
In my experience , a lot of the people complaining about this seems to be the same ones that don’t care what their kids listen to on the radio or what shows they watch. I’d rather have my kid learn about sex and sexual health in a realistic, respectful and HONEST way than from songs and media that exaggerate, over romanticize and just create overall unrealistic expectations around it.
@@Anonymoususer08Yea, when I ask what the difference was, they’d say…”it’s just is” or something along those lines. Then bring up about how God will send your soul to hell of you have sex outside of marriage.
That's how I plan to teach my kid when they get older. I'm sure there will be questions and am so glad there's a book that I can help explain these topics to them.
@@leahmcbain3773I read that book too. It was helpful and talk about period. I had to beg my mom for that book and then my dad had to approve. The part in the book where it says you may start to have feelings for guys, my mom said ignore that part it’s bad. Ugh 😣
It's crazy to me that people are up in arms about this book now - I'm an adult now (early 20s, but an adult nonetheless) and this book was one of MY first exposures to sex ed...
me too! I vividly remember my parents giving me this book, my quietly taking it into my room, POURING OVER IT and never discussing it with them again, because it's a deeply awkward topic to discuss with your parents. I swear sex ed teachers are braver than marines for giving this talk every year, but it's absolutely necessary because children need to know what's happening if an adult is assaulting them and what to do if it happens, a topic that as I recall took up far more space in this book than the two pages about sexual intercourse.
@@spacebunsarah- much better than what I got too. I was probably 15 when my parents decided it was time for "the birds and the bees" talk, but neither one of them could bring themselves to actually have the talk. So when I got home from school one day, I found a copy of "Everything You Wanted To Know About Sex (But Were Afraid To Ask)". And I am sure that neither of them ever actually read the book, because there was plenty of discussion of topics that my ultra conservative parents would never approve me learning about. It was quite progressive, but not really designed for a child or a teen, and definitely didn't include any pictures.
Nooooo don’t educate my kids on how to recognise inappropriate behaviour towards them, don’t teach them what sex is and what is and isn’t okay for people to do to them or how to say no to behaviour they’re uncomfortable with, you groomer. 😭😭
Lol I’m going to ask conservatives if it’s ok for a little girl to say no to an older guy who wants to have sex with her....I want to see their reactions to that question XD
@@leahmcbain3773 It's always been the same, they virtue signal about how we need to protect kids, yet do NOTHING to help or defend actual survivors of abuse. In fact they perpetuate it, say child marriage is a good thing actually and that every parent should beat on their kids, that they hate pedophiles but do nothing in terms of harm reduction, and to kick their gay and trans kids to the curb. They never talk about victims of abuse because they'd have to include LGBT people, who are abused way more than average. A huge contributor being lack of education on consent and sex. It's so disgusting!! Psychopathic people.
@leahmcbain3773 They're using it as a cover for their own misdeeds or the misdeeds of others; enabling at best, criminal at worst. And they know claiming they're trying to help will get less informed people on their side.
@@Golems_victoryyes she should say no and the man who asked should be put to death. Your political opponents are not demons. I was molested as a child and am strongly against any pedophilia of any sort. Don’t just believe everything you hear kid.
Conservatives when they let their kids watch disney princess movies about guys kidnapping girls and/or kissing them in their sleep: 😊 conservatives when two guys peck each other: 🥺
the book is softcore porn, how are you guys this tone deaf? kids SHOULD know enough about sex ed to not get groomed, but this is too much, like c'mon did they have to explain in detail how to do sex if kids shouldnt do it?
@@RandooART I learned about intercouse from a dictionary when I was around 10 and honestly? It helped a lot. I learned what a penis and vagina was and that helped tremendously for reasons I'm not gonna get into, and I also learned that sex isn't really what I thought of it to be. It could be dangerous and painful and there was a lot that went into it. What good is it telling kids that sex is this naughty thing that adults do. It doesn't help much. Do you know what even makes things sexual? If things had been vague I would've never been saved like I was. Maybe going in detail IS the way to teach kids sex ED?
The problem is that some kids are learning this at a very young age. I feel like they should at least learn this in their pre teens when children's body's are developing and not when a child's brain is not even developed
@@thebonedemonchild predators don't wait till kids are about to hit puberty. Sex ed is known to help kids both avoid SA and tell someone they've been SAed, also a child's brain still isn't developed when they're preteens. It is more developed at that age but why draw the line there? It just seems like you're drawing an arbitrary line
@@theveganduolingobird7349 wait, define 'developed'. You obviously don't mean it literally fails to function until some magical spark at post 25 years old, right? I'm really just asking because your comment feels like a casual generalisation of a very significant topic, that being the age-dependent capabilities of a human being at a time when school is mandatory and has lots of highly fixed views of success that puts pressure on children to measure up to them through various rigorous exams and tests. I personally worry sweeping generalisations about development of the brain can cause a lot of doubt in children under these conditions, largely from personal experience of trying to find a personal reason for my own academic shortcomings (even if I ended up barely succeeding many of the final exams)
My educators (Georgia, USA) taught abstinence-only and, guess what, my high school had a daycare center to accommodate all of the teen mothers. Make it make sense
i write children's literature. i wrote a couple pieces on Native American coming-of-age ceremonies. girls' ceremonies happen after their first period, so i wrote that. my editor said i needed to change it to "puberty," not because the publishing company is against telling the truth to children, but because they're avoiding controversy & lost sales due to irate parents :/
That is so silly. I live in a more progressive country, but when we had the period talk in school, I remember there being a couple of parents rolling their eyes about them starting so early because "they're too young to even get periods for a couple of years". I had had mine for at least a year at that point.
@TheSylda I've never heard anyone say menarche in real life. I dunno if it's useful to make it more common or not? I also honestly don't think the word choice is the actual issue here
@@TheSylda i've never heard that word before, had to google it! either way, i wasn't allowed to mention it. the content was written at an 8th grade reading level, which is far older than many kids start their periods
@@alyxxm1019 I've just had to Google how old 8th graders are (I live in the UK, different numbering system). You seriously wern't allowed to use the word period in a book meant for 13 -14 year olds??! Thats crazy.
For anyone who read the book, do they go over the fact that just because you said “yes” once , doesn’t mean you can’t say “no” the next time and vice versa? I’m just curious because even some adults can’t grasp that concept.
Do they go over the fact that rape and assault can't be a result of physical violence/force alone? And that sex through emotional and mental coercion is also rape because there's no consent? I feel like what you and I just mentioned go hand in hand
@@sabsain2399 sadly people are still ignorant to not understand sexual coercion is rape so many people were sending hate to andrew Callaghan's accusers saying regret isn't rape which is a common way to dismiss victims
@@HudaAbdulahi I think they try to frame it as "you said yes but then decided it was no later." I think we should also not use the word regret since it pretty much implies that. The way to describe the situation would be that the victim was coerced and pressured and didn't realize they were being raped until later on
Even as someone who grew up in a pretty open family and I understood what (heterosexual) sex was pretty early, there are things in this book that I wish I understood earlier. I'm autistic and from a very young age I started masturbating as a way of stimming. I didn't know I was masturbating (I never even touched under the clothes until much later) but I knew there was something vaguely shameful about it. I know that this book discusses masturbation and had I known what it is and why it was something private, I could have had a much more healthy relationship with it. Instead, I embarrassed myself and others by not understanding proper boundaries around masturbation and that's something that still upsets me as an adult. I strongly believe that telling children the truth is almost always the right thing to do, and it honestly disgusts me that there is this enormous movement in the US to hide the truth about sex from kids. It will only make them more vulnerable.
I'm autistic as well, you are not alone in your experience. I did the exact same things. Embarrassed myself, was never taught what privacy was or that I had a right to it, and I knew wayyyy too much graphic detail about sex before I was even 7. I'm 25 now, but been on the internet my entire life. Those experiences ended up leading to being groomed and abused later on as a preteen, being really hypersexual, and seeing nothing wrong with myself as a child engaging in sexual acts with adults and other kids. Totally addicted to porn I was groomed with and masturbation.. Fucked me up man... sex ed in 6th grade did nothing because I already knew all that shit, and way more. If they had me read this book, I would've known I was trans even earlier than 14, known how to construct proper boundaries for myself, and to understand what's okay and what's really not. Sex Ed is busted in this country because of how much backlash a book like this, that's completely rooted in reality, gets just because these people hate gay and trans people so much, advocating for sex-negative body hate and shame. It's wild.
Their status quo is to hide the reality of human behavior from kids, to force them into a box, or abuse them. They just do not care about the humanity of children at all.
Same for me, I didn't know it was sexual at all, so I felt incredibly shameful as puberty was starting for me. This book is very neutral and wholesome, if I had something like this I would've felt a whole lot better about myself.
@@badcaseofstripes Same for me, without the grooming, but I knew too much at a young age and it was incredibly shameful, and I didn't have a healthy relationship with it. There's so many examples of why this book is actually important, but the conservatives are far too angry to see it.
I work for public libraries (not front desk work, more behind the scenes support staff) and I cannot tell you the amount of grief this book (as well as two others) has caused for librarians in my area the past 8 months. There were signs up on the main road in town saying to "support God and not the pedophiles at the library." They have berated our library's staff, threatened them directly, and made an already homophobic rural town feel SO much more dangerous for queer folks to live in. I'm so happy to see you give this book the chance it deserves. And for some additional context, the same religious zealots who keep claiming this book will be used to groom children actively break bread each week with a known child sex offender. They seem willing to excuse that but draw the line at books which inform children and teens about the world around them (including how to stay safe around adults like their congregation member who is KNOWN to abuse children). I hope everyone keeps an eye on these happening in their communities. PLEASE go to public library board meetings. PLEASE speak up during public comment if you have the means. Our very 1st Amendment right to access information is under threat, and in some states it has gotten way more traction than it should have ever been able to.
I’m glad your looking out for those in your community who are vulnerable and their futures. You seem like a great person, I hope it gets better for you and all of the rest who are helping alongside those who are fighting for their rights to exist happily. Thank you and the rest.
@@FooxArt this means so much to me; thank you for your kind words. Ultimately I just want the kids and young people in this area to have an easier time growing up than folks my age did. It's hard work, but it's worth doing. Thank you for the encouragement 💖
My pleasure. It's one of my values for people to have whatever support they need, and to have allies and equal opportunities via education/knowledge or other means. You are helping to provide both, so thank you. Your impact is valued.
I just heard of one Texas school superintendent firing the school librarians and converting them to “behavior centers” (read: detention) …which I suppose allows him to choose the books the children read
I am a parent to a teen. I reviewed sexual health with my son when he was in grade school, probably 10 or 11 years old. I did the whole banana and a condom to show him how a condom fits over a banana. He was curious and I treated it like a lesson on brushing your teeth. I remember my family did not do much to teach me. When I was young, I recall getting a book on puberty at the public library bc no one told me anything. We need to break the cycle of sex health ignorance!
kudos to you. these books also need to teach our sons about consent & coerce. the world doesn't teach them about it/teaches them that crossing boundaries is ok
Fr and of course people were uncomfortable. There’s a time and a place for reading that book, and that situation was neither the time nor place. Doesn’t mean there’s anything inherently wrong with the information
When I was a kid, I was preoccupied with the fear that masturbating was causing a horrifyingly shameful infection and I could “tell” that this was true because I figured any discharge was a sign of the infection, and the more there was the worse the infection was. I even asked a teacher when I was about eleven if it was normal to have “goop coming from your vagina” and she told me to go to the doctor LOL. would have been so nice if someone told me it’s ok be horny and it won’t kill you slowly like I thought 👍🏽
I feel like the reason ignorance about sex ed is so desired in conservative communities is because it makes it easier to control people's sexualities or sexual behavior. If you want to control people, fear is a common tool to use for that purpose. And it is easier to manipulate people with fear when they lack the awareness of knowledge that would otherwise debunk your fearmongering tactics. Especially in conservative religious communities, they operate to convince people that breaking the purity culture rules like having sex before marriage or mast*rbating is not only morally wrong, but that bad things will happen. And then the fear of the threats of the made up consequences will scare people into submission to those rules.
That was such a huge issue for me. I was always scared someone would notice/smell it. I was told boys had the raging hormones and that girls didn't really enjoy sex.
i'm a trans man in turkey. the only things i could try to define as sex ed was our teacher getting all the girls in the classroom in 4th grade and saying "you will get your (period, but we have a less supposedly explicit term for it), and be prepared because it will bleed." we asked her if it was painful and she said "not at all." (lmao two of the "girls" in that class turned out to be men so its kinda funny as well). and when my best friend came out to me as trans, i told my mom about it (i thought it was totally cool and like, yeah i can see how he is a boy. i didnt think abt my own gender at all during those times) and she said "dont ever let anyone try anything with you." in response. she thought my trans boy friend who was 11 just like me was perverted. what the hell. and no one talked to me abt sex ever again except for my girl friend group when we were 15-16 much later. i never felt shame abt it either because like. no one talked about it! and they ask why i realised i was trans at 16. like bitch i thought gender and sex were some kind of bug till then!
oh and also you can imagine how betrayed i felt when i was hit with the worst pain i have ever felt in my first period because i thought it wouldnt hurt at all thanks to that stupid woman
Oh, so transmen/ boys are women, and transwomen/ girls are men. How simple is that, I would call you a woman, and with respect, I would you a miss. Logic.
What?! I know a lot of people who love those books because they don’t want embarrassing conversations with their parents or kids. It’s a great place to start learning about puberty. I just can’t with the U.S. right now Also providing information isn’t the same as pushing explicit material. I hate when people push ignorance on kids because I think it sets them up to be taken advantage of without the language to describe/explain when people cross boundaries and/or abuse them.
Yeahhh If I was a parent I would just give books and send links without saying anything, lol. And if I was comfortable I’d probably be really boring to hear ramble on and on
Omg I once went to this mandatory chapel service that I attended with the youngest members of the school as I am in one of the oldest, and they literally drew penises EVERYWHERE
Right??! Little foster brother drew dicks and tits on EVERYTHING.. when I carefully sounded him out (I was 16), he just complained that he didn't see as many real life breasts as he wanted to (anymore, since no more breast feeding) and dicks were funny to him. 😂
Seriously, I was curious about other boys bodies very young and drew penises on shit lol. And I was very innocent didn't watch reality TV and didn't know what gay even was
i read this book in fifth grade, i was pretty sheltered and didn't know what sex was, i wasn't upset by this book i wasn't traumatized. this book was very helpful teaching me how sex works and was genuinely very informative it helped me understand intimacy, this book set the ground work for me to have a healthy boundaries about my body
I was 8 (now 29) when my mother gave me this as a substitute for ANY sort of discussion. My only issue with this book is that it doesn’t replace talking to your child about things. Giving them a book called “It’s Perfectly Normal” and then treating it like a dirty secret sends mixed signals.
omg that's exactly what my mom did! It wasn't this exact book but it was some American Girls book that included illustrations of how to insert a tampon and what kinds of bras there are and what the stages of breast growth look like and that kind of thing. We barely talked about sex in person though, except when i got caught and punished for watching porn. which i found because i was curious about sex and didn't feel like i could ask my parents about!
@@fauxrowsdower7610 I had that one too! It taught me how to shave! LoL! Shame there’s so much shame around women’s bodies, our own mothers won’t even talk to some of us about them.
Let's be real -- anyone who doesn't want children to have access to proper sex-ed while also promoting child-adult marriage is a p3d0phile. And I would go so far as to accuse anyone who thinks a child 12 and up doesn't need sex-ed is either also a p3d0 or at the very least a p3d0-enabler. I started growing breasts in 4th grade and I'm so glad we learned about hormones and changes then, and I was nine! It's helpful and reassuring to know how our bodies will change and what we can expect. These fake 'Christian' Republicans just want children to start out puberty clueless so those same children can be more easily victimized. When I was 11 years old, a man offered my parents money to have me as his bride. I was ELEVEN. Thank you so much for this video, bringing awareness, and sharing your story. I was kinda pressured into being with guys when I was a teen. If I'd been allowed to awaken in my own natural time, I probably would've been with a woman first, and probably in my late 20s.
@@IGetGangBangedByFishAllDaychristen in america who want to marry a 12 year old child and this a law in america (many conservitive voted for it). queer people are not groomers/pedos it is just a narretive to demenise/discrimenate queer people
Man, cancel culture is really out of control. You can't make a book that helps kids with normal bodily functions without a bunch of right-wing snowflakes jumping down your throat.
@@Anonymoususer08is there a blue or purple state currently having a law to ban books from libraries of schools? Genuinely curious because sometimes people do the whole 'both sides" even when they are very clearly different.
On the one hand, I get that there are parents who think 10 is too young to learn about what physically happens during intercourse. Or who don't want a textbook to give their child "the talk" for them. On the other hand, man just think about the kids who are being abused or are at risk who could be helped by being told outright what sex is.
**RE: 10 years old being seen as "too young" to learn about the birds and bees:** The only reason I would challenge this is because on Bing, there was a news story in my feed just yesterday about a Peruvian child who's 11 who had an ab*rtion. Idk why that particular piece of news made its way all the way to the U.S. but it feels like it made headlines over here to stir up fake controversy about people as young as this person regularly engaging in the kinds of things adults do, which is simply not happening unless there's a context of exploitation or ab*se. It just feels like every generation, this place keeps saying it wants to have these kinds of conversations, adds way too much religion to it to the point where there's no facts or science at all in what's being said, getting mad at the rightful backlash to the indoctrination used in place of teaching, then you have fools like this pastor making it seem like every gay and trans person everywhere on earth for all time is aiming to be around children just to teach them shit like this, when that's not only not the case, but all further convos on this are immediately shut down. Tbh, even a lot of convos on s*xuality for adults is 20-30 years behind. It's always the most basic conversations. The same fake taboos of BDSM, threesomes, and pegging because the convos aren't being allowed to evolve as we do. There's no telling why the people who published it felt the need to release this book at a time like this. I honestly think they should've waited a few years given the weaponized optics around LGBTQ issues, but I'm not sure if that would even matter, given the state of politics here. I say all this as a lesbian myself, but it just feels like you can't win and you're meant to stay quiet about anything real people go through, lest you end up looking like you're aligning yourself with the most despicable people on earth.
@@axeslinger94 Yeah, I should clarify that I don't think it's too young. I think culturally the United States is so entrenched in purity culture that natural bodily functions have been deemed taboo. Which is a shame for many reasons.
I totally understand, the perspective of thinking kids that age are too young, but if they're old enough to ask questions, they're old enough to know the answers. In this day and age, if you don't give your kids info in a safe and informative way, they will get it from friends and the internet. I had unrestricted and unmonitored access to a computer since I was very young, and so when my parents refused to give answers under the guise that I was "too young" I went to the internet, and I found porn. From ages 8 to 11 I consumed so much of that shit. If I had had access to an informational book like this, then that would have never happened to me.
That’s exactly what I thought. I don’t think I’d feel comfortable reading this book to a child or a child reading this book on their own, but I know I’d feel even less comfortable knowing all the sexually abused children who don’t even realize yet that they’re being abused. Like it or not, this book would help in reducing grooming and sexual abuse, not encourage it. Besides, with the internet, it’s impossible to keep sex secret from anyone. I personally knew about it since I was 4. So conservatives and others like me who feel uncomfortable need to get with the times and know that if we don’t teach kids sex ed, memes would instead
@@theshire9173 Yea, would have been really great if someone thought to check with the kid who was kidnapped to see if someone had abused them. Course stifling any conversation around sex just served to teach me to hide my trauma.
On the specific bit he was reading. Regardless of anyone's opinion or discomfort about what they should be ready for, YOUNG PEOPLE'S BODIES DO THAT. It is typical for 12 year olds to experience vaginal wetness or erections, and in many people it happens considerably earlier than that. Like yeah, as adults it's super uncomfortable to talk about a 12 year old experiencing physical sensations and responses of sexual arousal. But for a 12 year old, when that is a thing that they are experiencing in their body, they deserve to know what is going on and what it means. The fact that they aren't ready to have sex yet is not a good reason to lie to them and keep them ignorant about the things that are likely happening to them. And learning about this absolutely fits in with all you are saying. Being able to recognize the physicals signs of sexual arousal in your body, and understand them as their own thing that can be independent of the act of having sex is crucially simultaneously being able to recognize when your body is not ready for sex. It empowers a young person to be able to say "I know how a body that might be ready for sex responds to sexual situations, and that is NOT how my body feels in this situation, so I know I am not ready". Or, as is stated clearly in the book "the fact my body is responding this way is not consent, and does not mean I am ready". Or even to be able to understand the pleasure of feelings of arousal in a consensual situation as their own thing which can be enjoyed as is, that those feelings don't mean you therefore have to have penetrative sex.
I also really do not like how he was describing the language as filthy/dirty. I UNDERSTAND why people use these words. Adults do not want to think about the sexual feelings of kids, and adults who do think about the sexual feelings of kids are in fact filthy/dirty. But kids do not understand that nuance. When a child hears an adult use this language, the child simply thinks that they are dirty for having sexual feelings. Or worse, if god forbid the child has been abused, they begin to think they have been dirtied/soiled which is obviously horrid for their psyche.
lol this reminds me of how I always used to think there was something wrong with me as a kid, if I had any discharge in my undies, even though it's totally typical
Sex education is so important, especially for sexual and gender minorities. Growing up gay, I felt not normal, I felt weird and ostracized. Sex education helped me realize I was normal, and that lots of people feel the same way as I did and that there was nothing to be ashamed of. Every child deserves non stigmatizing honest sex education
I actually cried watching this video. I got emotional right around the same part that you did, Kat. This book would have absolutely been LIFE CHANGING for me as a child who was groomed by so many grown men in my life. There's so much trauma I've been forced to continuously unpack throughout my life as a result of sexual grooming, r*pe, and continued harassment by men older/ bigger/ stronger than me. People using things like cishetero 'roles' or religion as a weapon to force me to do things I was never ready to do. Thank you, Kat. Thank you for showing this book and explaining what it /actually/ is that these people want with bannning it - they want to keep children ignorant. They want children to remain naive, and to know nothing about themselves, their bodies, and what is happening to them. It's sick, and exhausting.
Thank you for risking demonetization to shed light on what's actually going on here. SA is so often a generational trauma that keeps getting passed along. And for there to be an empowering resource like this means a lot.
Because this is a political issue, the LGBT issue is again weaponized, so screaming about "porn & grooming is everywhere where is a LGBT topic" makes conservatives and right-wingers more aggressive and irrational.
this seems like great information for teens. as an asexual person myself, i know i would have found the bee character who is more interested in astronomy very relatable and affirming. i was fortunate to have a pretty good high school sex ed class and i hope this book gives other people the chance to learn all i did and more before someone can take advantage of their ignorance
My parents literally BOUGHT me these books as like- a 10 year old and it genuinely taught me stuff that the birds and bees days in school never taught me 💀💀💀
Why am I almost in tears though. I hope eventually this becomes the norm. I almost vomited at the individual who was advocating for 12 year old marriages but was against the sexual education. It's fascinating how that works. I wish wholeheartedly this book existed when I was a child. I grew up in Texas and the only education was abstinence. I can effectively say it does not work. I am fortunate enough to have never been pregnant or had a pregnancy scare. However, I still experienced so many things that this book would have helped me with and placed into perspective. Thank you for sharing this and going over this topic. ❤
The author of this book has a whole series for a range of ages/understanding levels. Who’s In My Family talks about different types of families. Who Has What is a pre-puberty basic sexual anatomy book. It’s Not The Stork and It’s So Amazing are two that focus on the baby making process both with sperm and eggs and a bit of the sexual mechanics. Let’s Talk About Sex is probably one step above It’s Perfectly Normal and talks more clearly about consent and sexual assault. I remember getting a few of these from my public library quite a bit before I learned these things in school - which was also pretty solid sex ed - and my parents, after reviewing them a bit to make sure I was at the right level for it, let me read them to understand. I was already reading a lot about science and anatomy, and they were in the same section of the library. It helped me understand a lot, and I’m very grateful for these books. My parents also talked with me after and answered some additional questions, but it was really nice to read about some things that were a bit embarrassing at the time on my own. I also didn’t have sex at all in my teens. The books are the best kind of informative.
I'm so happy to learn they talked about asexuality in this book! As an ace person it definitely would have helped me understand myself better if I had known about asexuality sooner
This discussion is super important, because awareness leads to autonomy, which leads to better decision-making, which leads to healthier sex. Also, congrats on 500k!
People who think this book is too inappropriate for young children, or cant see how its relevant for children at all are so so SO incredibly lucky. I wish I had this book as a child, i think it would have helped me a lot 😢 honestly I teared up at the exact same time as you ♥️
I think 10 is the perfect age to have a book like this. I started puberty at 10, but most of my classmates started a couple of years later. It's good to get that kind of information ahead of time, instead of being shamed for asking questions as it happens.
Trans man here, I had my first period at 9. People need to understand that kids deserve to have educational resources on puberty without shame or stigma.
I'd say it's a case by case basis. Books like this should be introduced when the child becomes pubescent. Not in the middle of puberty but at the beginning because that is when sexual feelings will start to happen. The only caveat I'd say is for very late developing kids. By 13-14 all children know these things anyhow from talking amongst themselves and that is a famously bad way to be educated about sex. So if you have a kid who hasn't entered puberty but is getting to like, 8th grade, you'd probably want to give them this book anyhow. (BTW not developing until 13-14 is pretty normal for people with male bodies so this wouldn't be a very niche situation).
It’s insane to me that people think 10 is too young for this. I was growing breasts when I was 10 and had sex ed in school by then. Even before then, I had a vague idea of nudity between adult men and women being “something”, though I didn’t know what
This book would have been a game changer for me, I have never had a sexual relationship, however I have been in situations as a young adult and as an adult in situations where I could have been taken advantage of very easily. My experience learning about sex also involved porn and erotica, I don’t think that I should have to explain why that’s a horrible way to learn about sexually.
This book and books series such as "what makes a baby?", "sex is a funny word", and "you know....sex" provide children and caretakers with support and language that actually helps keep our youth safe.
your analysis of groomers relying on ignorance is so spot on and I never connected those dots, but 1000%. a lot of these conservatives want the children they're "protecting" to not know about sexual health, bodily autonomy and consent so that they can continue their grooming. an amazing video & an amazing book!
I feel like nowadays, with access to the internet, most kids end up "learning" about sex from it. And sure, they can find some educational sources that five matter of fact information, but instead they're most likely to find p*rn or adult discussions that are inappropriate for them. Having access to information like this book provides can make all the difference for a teen or pre-teen to understand what sex is without stumbling upon things that will only fuck up their views on it. The part about consent is especially important, and how it's so inclusive. Mentioning intersex people and not wanting to have sex? That would have made a huge difference to my young self.
My mom gave me The Girl's Guide To Growing Up and never actually discussed anything with me. I had to figure everything out on my own. I wish I could give this book to my childhood self. Maybe then I wouldn't have let my friends experiment on me at middle school sleepovers like that.
Oof yeah, a lot of those lines you read would've done a lot for me as well. I remember getting an American Girl book about bodies from my mother but from what I remember it included nothing about sex. I think the uncomfortableness that some parents have talking about sex in a direct manner to their kids leads to this need to shut down any conversation that feels too blunt, when that's exactly what kids need.
I got that same American Girl book. It was decently good, from what I recall. But it didn't talk about sex or safe sex. It mentioned stuff like "when you'll have babies..." or how periods were "preparing your body to have babies when you're older..." but there was no discussion on how babies are made, what sex is or how to do it safely.
I had this book too, except I didn’t read it fully past the first chapter because it didn’t answer all of my questions. By then, my mom had already taught me about sex and making babies, and the book was more of “here’s some extra information so you can stop bothering me about it.” As a trans man, I felt like my experience was bad because I had no representation of it, and I had assumed for a long time that something was just wrong with me. I think these conversations are important for kids to have with their parents because if not, they’ll end up clueless or miserable about these things.
Those decpictions of cartoon people having sex would have been more pure to me than any sexual advertisement or sexy scenes as movies I saw as a kid. Pretty sure some of the parents against this book watch inappropriate media in front of their kids all the time.
"There are worse ways." that hit so fucking hard. There ARE worse ways to learn about sex. They happen all the damn time! But people wanna throw a fit over a book that helps kids understand and therefore possibly protect themselves from that instead of taking a second to look at the real problem instead. I was overly conscious of how my 6 year old body might look to men in goddamn footie pajamas because of how I ended up "learning" about male and female bodies. And yet I always thought it was my fault for thinking that way as a kid. Like I was corrupted, and i should be ashamed to have these fears because im a child and children shouldn't be aware of their bodies or of sex right? The knowledge I learned against my will in an environment I didn’t understand then became my fault because now I knew these things when I wasn't supposed to. Instead of making it seem like the end of the world when your children learn about sex, maybe, oh i dont know, normalize it? Let them know its ok to learn about it because knowledge is power, and no one should be taking their power over their bodies away.
I guarantee nearly all these peoples children have been exposed to porn and hear about worse things on the school bus or whoever’s grooming them. This book is an empowering act of love to help kids not feel foreign from their bodies, understand more when someone’s grooming them and not have as much shame and confusion.
Gotta be honest, I had a visceral repulsive reaction to the idea of me as a kid reading some of this stuff and had to take a break to unpack why. Most of the answers came down to the fact that I was forbidden from knowing about it and told that this kind of knowledge is dangerous. What was really dangerous was that I started having sexual feelings as a preteen and didn't have the language to explain them or a safe place to do so. I knew vaguely about masturbation but was told it would just harm your body or ruin your future marriage. Everything was about my future marriage or my future babies. I didn't know there were other options. Throughout my teenage years I experienced sexual frustration without knowing that that's what it was. To me I just felt "bad" and the only thing to do about it was to repress it. To make things more complicated, I'm asexual/aegosexual. I don't experience sexual desire towards real people but I do have a libido. If I had known about sex and queerness when I was younger, I would have been a lot less afraid of my own body and mind.
16:16 This is SO important for kids to read. As an aromatic asexual person, I grew up thinking that I’m somehow physiologically and/or psychologically damaged in some way, because I was taught that human beings are sexual beings, that everybody will fall in love and experience sexual attraction. It wasn’t until I was in my mid 30s that I came to know that I’m not defective. This is why representation is so important. Acceptance and understanding is key to fostering a healthy mind and robust self esteem. I appreciate them being so inclusive! As the book says in the title: It’s Perfectly Normal!
I hate how teaching children from an early age about science and the human body, and how to express themselves and make responsible decisions is considered "pornography," yet in the same breath child marriage and having kids before 20 is perfectly legal and okay
@@africanhistoryhow can you properly take care of a whole other human being when your brain isn't fully developed yet and you don't even have the financial capabilities to take care of said child. How many 18 year olds do you know of that have a stable job that can support a family. In my humble opinion you shouldn't have kids until your mid to late 20s that way at least they have stable jobs and can afford to give this child a proper life who doesn't need to worry about where their next meal is gonna come from
I HAD THIS BOOK AS A KID ughhh this is so annoying to me! This book was really helpful to me as a kid, i think i genuinely would have 0 idea about ANYTHING in in the book without it, none of my schools ever talked about that stuff! I have a friend who was never given any kind of education about the human body and she literally told me she didnt know what menstration is
@@DredFed i get what ur trying to say to me man, but if you think drawings of people in a bed together is porn youre seriously sexually frustrated. im not gonna argue with you about it tho, so if you reply after this im not gonna respond
@@DredFed pornography is intentionally designed to make people horny. this book describes sex as it is. doesn't exaggerate anything. and that's fine, it is meant to be educational and explain to kids what they may experience once they get older and how to deal with it safely. they can also revisit the book multiple times. i'd much rather them have this book than to learn on their own from the internet.
My best friend took a class on the psychology of sex. The first day the prof put those classic pictures of both the femal and male reproductive systems and asked people, grown adults, all over 18, to label the parts. It took 5-6 people for each to get them completely labeled. And that was just mind boggling to me.
Conservatives hate sex ed because they want the parents to decide when to teach their kids about sex, not the schools. The problem with this argument is not all parents do give their kids the "talk" maybe because they are afraid too or because they feel super uncomfortable talking about it. Then there's also the risk that parents that do give their kids the "talk", won't accurately explain fully certain important things that their kid should know. This could be due to a lack of knowledge or bias. My parents believe the LGBT is a sin so they didn't talk to me about it beyond it being bad, they did not know about asexuality, and so on those grounds I was in the dark and didn't figure out I was asexual until I researched more about the LGBT in my senior year of highschool when I started questioning their argument. For the longest time I was confused, couldn't figure out why I was so different from the straight girls and worried I was a lesbian even tho I didn't feel anything there either. At the time I saw being a lesbian as a bad thing because my parents hated it and I trusted their word as truth.
Mom of a 5 year old boy here. My son is very interested in the human body and has asked really insightful questions about reproduction. (Started around 2 1/2!) Some I asked to wait to answer. Others I just told the truth; women have ovaries that have eggs, boys have testicles with sperm and when a sperm meets the egg a baby is made. Anatomy is not inherently sexual. Not even reproductive anatomy. We talk openly about the anatomically correct language for all body parts (both sexes) and some not anatomically correct language that people use. I took him to a school board meeting that I went up to comment support for inclusive learning and comprehensive sex education. He stood next to me at the podium and after I was finished listing benefits of comprehensive sex ed (that he has no business knowing about yet) I looked down and told him we would discuss it all when he was a little older. He said ok and hasn't followed up with me since because he knows we will. The parents of the kid in Kindergarten cop that taught him "boys have a penis, girls have a vagina" were right! This is the way to teach children. Although now we make space and teach about transgender individuals too. 😘
The fact that this book is being labeled as p*rn elucidates this country’s hyper-sexualization of the human body. Just because someone is nude or two people are engaging in sexual acts (especially as hand drawn educational depictions) doesn’t mean that it is inherently p*rnographic. This comes off as more of a self-tell on how they view sex and the human body rather than a concern for children’s well-being. As you noted in the Abstinence chapter (12:25), less education actually leads to more unfavorable outcomes like teen pregnancy (respectfully, no diss to teen parents). The crazy part is that it’s like the right wants that exact thing. What you said in the Conservatives and Child Marriage chapter (11:38) highlights this perfectly. These n*ggas really tryna marry the girls off as pre-teens/teens! Great video, Kat.
The bits about sex not being necessary for love and that some people dont ever want it would have been so important for me to hear as a kid, teen and young adult.
If I had this book as a kid there’s a good chance that I could have prevented getting groomed as a teenager. Of course the pearl clutchers would be upset about this.
I saw a book almost exactly like this in a public library as a 4th grader. I read through it once alone , discussed it with no one, and found it very helpful. It did not illustrate LGBT content but mentioned it neutrally.
Wait as soon as you started reading the book, I realized that I actually read this book when I was 10! My church ran a sex-ed/sexuality course for different age groups, and at the end of the course they gave everyone this book and told our parents to have us read it. I remember that I was uncomfortable at times cause I didn’t really want to read it, but I am grateful that I read it because it helped me understand things about the world lol. So honestly I hope this book stays available to kids because it’s a great educational resource
Also, I sadly read the book a couple years to late after my experience with SA, but I feel like if I had read it before, I might have known enough to be able to say no, and that’s something I wish every kid knew was an option. This book is so important
Ok I just thought of another thing I want to add, because apparently I can’t ever shut up lmao. I think the only reason why I was uncomfortable when reading it was because I read it alone, and my parents didn’t talk to me about it while I was reading, so I didn’t have anyone to go with to talk about the stuff I was reading. I’m still glad I read the book though, because of the education it gave me about stuff I would never learn going to school in the Deep South
I’m pretty sure I had this in my bookshelf as a kid. I remember flicking through some of the pages and specifically the one with the illustrations of people having sex and then closing the book and not reading it again. My guess is that my mom used it when having the talk with my sister or had intended to use it for me but didn’t. But honestly hearing what it says now I wish I had read it as a kid, it would have done so much to see representation of queer and trans people in sexual education as a young gay (and trans, but I didn’t know it at the time) person who felt very isolated in my Christian primary school where everything possibly adult or queer was too taboo to talk about.
I bought this book more than 20 years ago (before having kids), and I read it to my kids when they were old enough to start having questions about such topics. It is an excellent book and I highly recommend it. This book presents information in a factual, non-judgmental, and engaging way. It's information that is relevant to kids' lives, and they deserve to know it. There were a couple of points where I felt a little uncomfortable reading aloud -- and yet! -- it was always information that I agreed with and wanted my kids to know. The fact that I was just reading someone else's words off a page made it easier.
One thing people (mostly but not exclusively conservatives) seem really confused by is that it is good and appropriate to learn about and consume media about adult stuff before it is good and appropriate to do that stuff. Reading is not doing.
Yeah. Giving a kid a book about cars isn’t going to make them drive a car, and I don’t think there’s anything debatable about the above statement. Sex is not that different, is it?
I read this book when I was 11. I had just gotten my period and since my parents were not willing to speak about gender and sexuality in my house, I went online and searched for books that talked about sex education and this was one of the titles that showed up. I found a pdf online and read it on the steps in front of my school after class. I'm so glad that I had this book, that I chose to read it. The safe, nonjudgemental way it talked about desire and gender and especially sexual orientations was incredibly validating to me at that age.
thank you for covering this. i work as a library assistant for cass county public library in missouri, and we’ve been fighting the conservative outrage over this book for years. children deserve the language to name and know their body and what is happening to it.
The main conversation that needs to be had is not *if* sex ed should be taught but *when* we should teach sex ed and at what levels. I remember learning about menstruation (and thus the first introduction to my body) with the other kids in my 5th-grade class, but by then, I had been sexually abused at least 15 times. Had my parents not been neglectful (and had access to the mental/physical care they still need) and I known language outside of "kissing" before the age of 12, that could have been reduced to zero. We can find different ways to educate youth about their autonomy and body parts appropriately, and it could easily be a continuous lesson throughout the years, getting into further detail as children get older. The idea that educating autonomy and anatomy is "grooming children" sounds like a projection to me. One of the few reasons I can think of that would make someone be against this education is because it empowers youth with knowledge and words they otherwise wouldn't know, and that knowledge and vocabulary can be used to inform trusted adults of abuse. We cannot fully trust parents to introduce their children to these topics (as most abused individuals know their perpetrator), and banning the conversation is dangerous.
“We can not fully trust parents to introduce their children to these topics”?!!!! Question: Since when do we get the right to usurp parental authority? …How is it okay for anyone to tell parents how to parent THEIR CHILD? Are you a parent? Would you like it if someone told you -“I know what’s best for your child more than you do?” Oh the arrogance of it all!! 🤪
Hi, I’m back now that I’ve watched the full video. Thank you so much for making this video, especially for really hitting home the fact that this knowledge is empowering for kids. I think that an additional point that made me change my mind from “this book might be TMI for a kid” to “actually, kids need to know this” is that kids often get exposed to ideas of sex WAY before they’re ready to have sex. Boys in my grade made jokes about and simulated blowjobs when we were 11 - at an age when I thought a “blowjob” meant drying your hair. I was sexually harassed by middle- and high-school boys on the street when I was 10 because puberty started early, and I wasn’t wearing a bra that day. I knew a kid who’d start yelling obscene things and mimicking women in porn when he was 9. More often than not, unfortunately, kids will be exposed to warped ideas of sex and sexuality way earlier than we’d like to think. That’s why sex education needs to start young. That way, at least we’d be able to give kids a safe environment to be equipped with the knowledge they need.
Thank you for this. I am a secondary school teacher in a different country and I try to teach my students about consent, sex, and different communication strategies among many other topics. And sometimes I think I am stepping out of what I'm supposed to do and I begin to have doubts. But this video really helped me. I am asexual and have never had sex, so my experience doesn't help me a lot when it comes to understanding what they need. This video showed me that I am doing the right thing, that starting from the beggining and focusing on the important things matters. That I shouldn't assume they know a lot just because they grew up with unlimited access to the Internet. Thank you for this, for sharing, for opening up. You are also beautiful and loved.
I read this book when I was a kid, it was actually written by my classmate's grandmother, and it was so comprehensive and taught me so much about myself and my body. My teacher first gave it to us when she got pregnant so we could answer the question "where do babies come from" ourselves. There's different books for different age groups, the one for 4-6 year olds is 'it's not the stork' and doesn't go into as much detail as the other two books. It's easier for younger children to understand and is isn't explicit. Then there's the book 'it's so amazing!', meant for 7-9 year olds which goes into a bit more detail with the same information. Then there's this book, 'it's perfectly normal', which is meant for ages 10+, which goes into the most detail. It's all informative and teaches kids about sex, sexuality, and their own bodies. It teaches about consent and body autonomy. The fact that conservatives want to ban a book that is so beneficial in teaching a child these things in a way that is digestible is honestly mind boggling.
I approach it at my son's pace. If he's asking, he's ready to know, and I'd much rather him get the information from me than for him to go to someone who will either shame him for being curious or who will give him bad or harmful information like what i was taught. Heck, now I'm gonna get this book cause i think this is fantastic and does a better job at explaining so much more than i know how
growing up gay, all of the sex ed i was given (not nearly as much as anyone should be) would not as much as mention gay sex. the AIDS epidemic was over but i was still terrified of having any intercourse. and of course i also had no idea how to be safe while doing so. all of that on top of the internalized homophobia and homophobia i faced from other people was something i never want anyone to go through
French guy here, my parents bought me as a kid the Titeuf : Le guide du zizi sexuel, a guide for 9 y/o kids onward about body changes, feelings, sexuality, prevention etc... based on a very popular comic characters. I never was shocked or disturbed, it was a well made (and funny) book about those awkward questions we have as preteens. I'm glad I got to have a base level understanding of this topics, especially with parents not super at ease with the subject.
And as a fellow French, I never saw any discussion about "it's wrong to educate your children about that". I 100% agree about knowledge is power, and people with no power/knowledge are unfortunately easier to take advantage of.
When children don’t understand something and are told not to do it, they’re more prone to try and do it so they can understand it and understand why they shouldn’t do it. Sex is a partial social construct therefore in order to fully understand it without being taught, you need a level of social awareness and social intelligence that children usually lack. An understanding of sex doesn’t come from simply experiencing that act itself.
Part of the problem with being a teenager, and being around other teenagers who are reaching sexual maturity, is NOT HAVING the language to verbalize your wants and needs, your boundaries, etc. You need to have had experience reading about it, talking about it, to feel comfortable enough to state your feelings on it. You don't want your kids saying yes, simply because they don't know HOW to say no, right? So, please: talk to them. Give them a book like this. Print out brochures. Whatever. Do something to prepare them, because they will likely end up in situations for which having the language would be VERY helpful. Ignorance leaves people vulnerable.
Me and my siblings had a copy of an earlier edition of this book back in the early 2000s. My brother was at the start of puberty at the time which is probably why my parents bought it. I was still in kindergarten and struggling to learn how to read but I did look at the diagrams. If anyone's wondering, having access to a sex ed book at the age of 6 did not warp my mind in any way.
I was hoping that you were going to mention this, but it's okay since you did discuss consent and sexual abuse quite a lot in this video. But there was this one post about this book that broke my heart. A 10 year old girl went to her school's library with her mom to get a book, and she chose It's Perfectly Normal. When she got home and started reading the book, she opened up the chapter about sexual abuse, showed it to her mom and said, "This is me". Her dad was assaulting her. The only reason her dad got charged was because this book gave that little girl a name to what was happening to her. The judge said something along the lines of "There were two heroes in this story, the girl and the book." Removing this book from all US shelves will lead to more CSA cases being unreported. This book saved a 10 year old's life, so why do people want to ban it so bad?
Because they want to perpetuate CSA. I know you were being rhetorical, but I just want to explicitly verbalize that so many of these "controversies" become clear if you see them as an abuser trying to protect his ability to abuse. Obv Not All Conservatives (TM) are the exact same, but ultimately they believe that hierarchies should be unchallenged, and part of that hierarchy (of race, patriarchy, etc...) is that abuse is okay and even proper if it's from higher up to someone lower down. I.e. Men can abuse women, parents can abuse kids, whites can abuse black people, straights can abuse queer people, etc... and that's normal, not harmful. It's vital for them to protect that and anything that threatens the ability to abuse is threatening their worldview
My jaw is on the floor. I'm glad she had the tools to express what was happening, but still this isn't what they are trying to stop. They want to stop grown consenting adults from being together, but kids getting assaulted but grown typically cis, straight, men no outrage there. Cause atleast it's natural 🥴
@@celaiblasonHonestly, I think we need to be really careful not to say that sexual assault is the fault of any one side of the political spectrum, when, in reality, it is apolitical. Jeffrey Epstein, for instance, was a Democrat. And while the Democrats are most definitely not the most left leaning bunch in the world, that certainly made him no conservative Republican, either. The truth is, sexual assault is apolitical, and if we start politicizing it, then our biases cause us to turn a blind eye to the places in which it is happening, but that our biases tell us it isn't. That, in turn, is how sexual assault goes unreported, and its victims left vulnerable.
These comments, are the same way some conservatives talk about liberals and progressives: "they're evil, they want to groom, and SA children".
The painting with a broad brush, is so unhelpful. This is some really dark version of horseshoe theory, in action.
Has nothing to do with your (very hopeful) comment, OP, just those following.
I have a cousin who had something similar happen to her, but with just general sex-ed anti-CSA discussions. She was 3 years old and her mum and dad, during bathtime, told her that no one other than mummy and daddy should touch between her legs. My cousin added, "and uncle Andy!". He wasn't charged with sexual abuse against her due to lack of evidence, but multiple other minor girls instead.
Parent here. My son is 4. My plan is to talk to him about sex alongside my husband when it is the right time to do so age wise. We have talked to him about his body, including his genitals and discussed how they are not to be touched or looked at by anyone other than us and doctors while also explaining that as he gets older we won't be allowed to look at his private parts either but doctors still can if he's sick and needs help. He's reached a point where he's actively asking for privacy in the bathroom, even though he still needs help raising up his underwear and pants. I'm really proud of him for verbalizing the need for privacy and repeating to us that he plans to learn to wipe himself all by himself because he knows we're not allowed to look at his private parts as he gets older.
That's so wholesome and adorable. My little brother, on the other hand, liked to keep the bathroom door open up until grade school 😅
Good job, keep it up!
I remember reading about one mom going over body parts and consent to her 4-year-old, and I think that's a really good base to have for younger children.
Sounds like you're doing a great job establishing his right to privacy and bodily autonomy! Sorry to give unsolicited parenting advice, but maybe consider that as he gets older reassuring him that if there's something he's unsure of down there, it's still okay to ask/show you first if he's unsure about going to the doctor right away (e.g. one of my brothers got genital warts before he was sexually active). You seem very thoughtful and considerate so I'm sure you would have thought about this anyway when the time comes :)
TW: CSA
I used to know someone who educated their kids similarly. When their daughter was in preschool, she had a friend who said something like, "I don't like it when my mom brings men over, because I have to put on makeup and go in the bedroom with them." My friend's daughter recognized this as one of the things Mommy said should never happen, so she told her parents what was happening to her friend. They called CPS, and fortunately there was enough evidence to get the girl removed from the home. So you're not just protecting your own son by teaching him about his body and consent, you could even end up saving another child. Your son is fortunate to have parents like you!
@@16poetisa the "except mom and dad" thing always gives me pause since I know people who were abused by a parent and I wonder if that would have normalized it even more for them. But I'm sure you give additional context about when and how it's okay for them to be touched by you and why. It seems like you're doing a good job with educating him
"some people may never be interested" I needed that as a kid! I wouldn't have forced myself into so many uncomfortable and unsafe situations if I had had that.
Same
me too! but i know for a fact my parents never would have let me read it
Because nobody mentioned asexuality to me until my 20s, I literally made up a conspiracy theory to explain why the media normalised sex and it caused several bad decisions I wouldn’t have made otherwise 🙈
And my parents did give me a not as good book as this to read and I did have sex ed in school that covered homosexuality and bisexuality existing… just no asexuality existing. It’s insane how simple it would be to explain this to kids too; in its simplest form, some people like girls, some people like boys, some people like both, and some people don’t like either. There are more nuances to it than that, sure, but that sort of simple explanation could cover the basics quite early on, around the time parents are teasingly asking you if you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, for example.
same
@@spookylittlebatOHHHH MY GOD because of my parents’ terrible marriage I thought movies only showed people getting together but not established couples because they never stay happy, and I thought it was a conspiracy to put romance in everything so that people would get married even though it would make them miserable.
and in middle school I was angsty about romance because it was sooo poorly written in my beloved sci fi novels. I knew I was ace from the internet but was in denial about liking romance manga back then, lol. I’m demi now, though, which is wild.
When that lawmaker said that he knew children married at 12 to adults who were still in those marriages, I was so horrified. And he said it like it proves something positive that those marriages weren't ended. I had to pause because I thought I might start weeping at the thought of those poor children, maybe now teens, maybe now adults, who are still tied to their rapists and perhaps not understanding the ways in which they've been wronged. The parents who gave their consent (and it shouldn't be theirs to give) to the marriages should be held criminally accountable as well. Lawmakers who suggest or support child marriage should not be allowed to hold a position of authority and need to be investigated. As an individual, I am fully comfortable considering those lawmakers sex offenders and paedophiles from their stance on child marriages alone.
I remember seeing a story about a black woman (girl) this happen to. She was being sexually Assaulted by her yourh pastor and when she told her parents to avoid shame at the church they married her off to him. She was 12 and he was like 23-25. She had like 8 -10 kids by him and couldn’t get away until i think the oldest was an adult and now she an advocate for getting these laws over turned. A lot of states still have these old laws in place from the early 1900s still on the books.
I agree with you 100%. If its not you getting married, you have no say in whether or not it happens. No one should ever be married without their express consent, ESPECIALLY when they are not legally capable of giving said consent. Anyone who thinks otherwise is honestly monstrous. Like, I get that historically (and to this day in some countries) marriage was more of an alliance between families than it was an affirmation of love between the betrothed. But even then, to force your child into a position where they feel trapped and unsafe? You can make an alliance-marriage work without love, but you can't make ANY marriage work without trust.
They can't even get a divorce until they are an adult in most cases. By that time their abuser traps them with pregnancy and neglect.
"My grandmother married my grandad when she was 14 and he 28 and she turned out completely fine!!"
Basically.
The confidence in his voice made my blood boil.
As a parent my general rule is: if they're mature enough to ask, then they're mature enough to learn.
Additionally, just because they don't ask, doesn't mean they don't need it yet.
As a non-parent, I agree: Anyone who can ask an honest question can hear an honest answer to that question.
I actually like this notion a lot, but there's something so funny to me about this concept.
"Daddy, how do you make babies??"
"I had sex with your mom."
I know that's not at all how it would play out, but it's still funny to me. Awesome parenting tip btw !!!!!!!!
As someone who was once a child and still remembers it, I agree.
Absolutely. Although it can get tricky if your 4 year old asks how plants do photosynthesis. But their brains are like sponges. And if you don't put info into them, they'll pick stuff up randomly and get half of it backwards.
This isnt pedophilia at all wow
When I was a child I stumbled across porn on the internet and got a addiction, that is what shaped my view of sex and what educated me about all the things I know. Kids should be learning about sex in a way that is healthy,realistic, and unbiased.
Still unlearning toxic and unrealistic dynamics learnt from porn as a child to this day... it effects your entire sexual life into being an adult. Not to say porn is this awful thing all the time, but it definitely can be a bit much for a kid to experience, or weaponized to groom kids. Especially when they are not being educated otherwise, porn becomes a child's perceptual reality.
Exactly... If you don't provide something healthy kids WILL go searching and find something you have no control over and that can potentially harm them for YEARS. How many of us looked up stuff online we shouldn't have and possibly even chatted with and maybe met up with grown adults we shouldn't have, had we known better.
Wait so it’s not disgusting of me that I watched porn once or twice when I was little- I didn’t understand what I was seeing. Im ashamed looking back on it, and still am.
@Will0wisp_ it's normal. Especially since you were not taught about sex, sexual education, etc. Sex is not shameful, and the only reason it is viewed as shameful is largely due to the growth of the Abrahamic religions. You should talk to a therapist or counselor that can help you.
I got ptsd. I never understand a p addiction, but I can understand how it can happen. People react differently to that stuff. I'm demis*xual so I don't find p*rn hot or anyone in it hot.
S&x scenes, words, phrases (mainly slang), and even this book is triggering. Certain things anyway.
In a normal society, real groomers who staunchly defend child marriage should get locked in jail for life and the keys should be thrown away.
Agreed 🙌🏽
Agreed 10000%
Absolutely. I gasped when I heard that evil cancer cell of a man say, “yea, and they’re still married” in reference to a 12 year old girl being married to a grown ass man. What does that have to do with anything?? Yea, I bet they are. Since he’s a possessive predator who has been allowed to dominate this girl’s life, as if she’s nothing more than his play thing. Absolutely revolting and enraging. Truly the darkness knows no limits, and it happens around the world daily.
1000000000000000000000%
Many have staunchly defended forcing those preteen girls to give birth too.
It's so funny because, purity culture only made me ashamed of my body, and desire and guilty after engaging in sexual acts. The ONLY thing that actually made me NOT want to have sex was when I learned how easily STDs were transmitted IN SEX ED. Only at 26 am I unleaning sexual repression and deconstructing the damage purity culture has done. I lost my virginity at 23 5 years into a relationship because I was TERRIFIED of what it said about me as a person to be on birth control outside of marriage despite my feelings of eventually wanting to marry my current partner. This book made me uncomfortable because I'm trying to unlearn all of the harmful ideas that these things are "not normal" and something to be ashamed of. This book is great because it approaches the subject in a netural way.
And I say netural is good because a big part of my recovery has been seeing my body and sex as morally netural things.
I've read that abstinence-only sex ed doesn't really help reduce teen pregnancy/STI rates (and might actually make the problem worse? idk), while comprehensive sex ed like this actually does reduce such rates.
Hope your further healing goes well!
@@ItsMzPhoenix Thank you so much!
Right and when we do learn about STDs we can feel like it's just more crazy abstinence talk and second guess its validity. Can feel hard to trust sex education in any form when the first things you hear are obvious scare mongering, which is super harmful because of course STDs are real and an increasing public health threat!
Aye yo, we stan personal growth! From what I've seen in my 40 years so far is that purity culture does massive direct AND collateral damage. It's really hard to work on and work through. Be kind to yourself; it's a process with lots of starts and stops, and it can sometimes take a long time. Seek a professional if you ever feel you need it. Call your state's department of Health and Human Services if you can't afford one, sometimes they can help. Well, if you're in the US that is. There's lots of people out there trained on how to help people in your position. I'm glad you're seeing sex as something neutral, because it is! Wanting sex is hard coded into most people. You don't fight the urge to breathe, another biological function, and sex is no different. So if you want to have sex, listening to your body isn't "bad" or "good", it just means processes in your body you have no control over are active. So go have some hella fun sex and enjoy it! You deserve it!
Noticeable overlap between people who want to ban sex Ed and people who are okay with child marriage...
Edit: those who are asking for evidence clearly didn't watch the whole video. Kat literally has a whole section on it at 11:00
people are okay with child marriage???
@@thefemalefuture1 right? The guy in the video was all "I know people married at 12 and they are perfectly happy" like wtf?
briar, i don’t wanna be here anymore! things are getting better but…we need to do more 😭💔
Fucked up and sick smh
The Venn Diagram is practically a circle.
See also: People who think LGBTQ people just existing is "grooming," but will put their infants in onesies that allude to them being "flirts" and "ladykillers."
They don't want people to learn to say no. They aren't focusing on it, but for people like that child abuse supporter? That is the most scary part.
Yup.
It's crazy that both sides have the same view of each other: they are pedophiles
Knowledge is power.
My mom talked to me about sex and masturbation in elementary school and she answered any questions I had over the coming years. I’m now 24 and still a virgin. I’ll engage when I am ready and comfortable with someone, but I don’t feel like I’m in any rush. 😌
based mom
@@sabsain2399 I’ve thought about this comment everyday for the last 4 days. You’re so right. She was absolutely a based mom 🤗
@@hilkom2 you're based yourself 🤭
@@sabsain2399 thanks 🥺💕 you are too!
This makes me feel so much better!! I’m 19 and a virgin and I feel so strange about but I’m just not emotionally ready yet and seeing someone just own it just makes me happy :)
I’m a guy but older men have attempted to groom me when I was underage. Thankfully I knew better and got away from them but other kids might not be so lucky. This book is filled with valuable knowledge and it’s very telling that Republicans want it banned.
Really shows that when they call lgbtq+ people groomers they're not really concerned about grooming and childrens safety. If they were concerned about that they'd be advocating for better sex ed and wouldn't be banning this book.
I've gotten away from from soo many groomers by the skin of my teeth lmao
So glad you were able to get away from that and are safe🫶🏼
Exactly!! This will help sooooooo many kids to say no or what to see in these grooming situations. But these adults complaining are not wanting kids to have a say in their own bodies.
I was almost groomed by an old dude who talked to me when going to my mom's job, I didn't kniw how to say no and I ended up giving him my number, some weeks past and he begins sending me photos of naked women and saying "you like what you see even if you're playing hard to get" I instantly blocked and flagged him with Child abuse, stayed at my house for a week and never saw him again. If only I was taught how to say no and recognised him as a pedo earlier I wouldn't have been in such a picke, luckly nothing happened, but still to think that sick man is around and maybe even talking to unsuspecting children is enough to disgust me
If 'Everybody Poops' was released today, we'd hear a culture war about it for the next 10 years 🙄
Remember what they say about the people who start their burnings with books, folks.
That was one of my favorite books when I was a little kid lmao
Nah, that book is a certified hood classic.
"I know 12 year-olds who got married. And guess what, they still are.' Wow. It MUST be true love. /s
Seriously, I'm getting really sick of oxygen being wasted on these people.
I literally screamed at this! THEYRE TRAPPED! When you get married at 12 what other options do you have?! Wtf
They don't care about child grooming at all.
@@courtneywitherspoon8584 What experiences would you have to compare anything to? Most people don't really know who they are until their 30's.
@@courtneywitherspoon8584 marrying someone when they're 12 gives you more than enough time to make sure they never leave you and learn to "love" you and what's happening to them.
@sophiepooks2174 my experiences are my business, but if you're looking for first hand experiences, plenty of child brides have shared their stories. Google is your friend. Have a blessed day.
"Groomers look for an unattended child, who is not being monitored, who is eager to find approval from an adult."
This is the REAL reason children need monitoring and supervision from competent, responsible adults. Not to "protect them from themselves," as so many religious righties like to say it, but to protect them from SEXUAL PREDATORS of all ages.
Thank you for saying that! ❤❤❤
100%. i was unfortunately heavily groomed as a teenager and i can say, without a shadow of a doubt, that all 3 of these contributed to my trauma. i was an unattended teen, completely unmonitored (due to home environment), and was VERY eager to find approval from an adult (due to abuse/emotional neglect from both of my parents). this coupled with my mom’s constant shaming of my body and sexuality, i never came forward. it’s taken me years to fully comprehend what’s happened to me, and it’ll take me much longer to heal. it’s a slow process but i’m making some day by day. all i can say to any parent out there is…. just watch your kid. love them, care for them, and protect them
Maybe if I had books similar to that or any comprehensive sex education at all I wouldn’t have ended up so damaged. I didn’t know you could question your sexuality. I didn’t know girls could have sex with each other. I had a crush on a female friend and had no idea what was happening. I’m just now fully accepting myself at 39. Internalized homophobia stole all the happiness from my life.
I’m glad you’ve been able to finally accept yourself.❤
Oh, I feel you. I had so many feelings I didn't understand about my best friend for like almost a decade and it took me years after that to truly accept I'm not a man, and that my relationship with my gf in highschool was probably because she was gnc and I like gnc in any gender😂
Fr. And growing up in the south they did have lessons on what was ok and not ok, but never to this specificity or detail. They just said “if someone puts their hands here or here it’s bad” but there’s so many other ways you can be assaulted, it’s not always straight forward like that. Maybe if I had known what sex was, I would’ve known that the assault that happened to me was bad because I would’ve comprehended what was happening, and I could’ve told an adult sooner.
I feel this
My condolences. May you live w/more peace & joy😮😢🥰😇❤.
12:02 that other guy was so proud he knew a kid that was married at age 12 and they were still married, like as if that's automatically good. That's pretty f'd up.
wtf is wrong with him , he thought he ate💀
It’s not the flex he thinks it is. 🤮
"And guess what, they're still married 😎."
SHUT 🔇 UP 🔇 OH MY GOD
He probly went home and saved that part of the video to upload to facebook to show his friends 😂
In this case, dude was talking about two 12 year olds who were married to each other with their respective families' consent, and while not horrifying in the sus adult/vulnerable minor aspect, the situation is still questionable because why are religious groups marrying children to each other????
When that one man said that a little 12 year old was "still married" I wanted to vomit. They certainly want "heterosexual" grooming to continue happening in the name of Christain Conservative values.
i hate it here
@@thefemalefuture1 Same
Not related to child marriage, but still related to forced marriage. My dad with old Asian values was of the opinion that there’s nothing wrong with arranged marriages; hell, it might be even better because you don’t see people who were traditionally arranged to marry someone they’ve never met before their wedding day get divorced.
That is, until my Muslim friend’s mom took her own life because that was the only way out for her. Divorce was not an option in the strict religious household. After that, I explained to my dad about WHY the divorce rate is so low, and he finally understood.
@@EddVCR omg, rip to her 🥺 i hope y’all are better now
I don’t know how anyone in their right mind can let their 12 YEAR OLD get married and think they’re still a good parent
The fact that that guy said this book is pornography is just so unhinged. It's a self-report. It's *clearly* not made with the intent to arouse, like porn is, it says more about his reaction to the content of the book than the book itself.
Even that the men are right. It's deserved to get action to this book or banned would be better. Parents and science (sex and education) are there to tell the children. Not this pathetic book.
I laughed out loud whe he said that. Does he not kow what pornography is, or what is going on there?
@@heatblast876then can't parents use this book if they want to, if they want help and are worried that they will forget things?
@@heatblast876the book can be used as a teaching resource for parents/teachers
@@heatblast876no, theyre just gonna say some shit like "mommy and daddy kissed one day and then suddenly a baby appeared on our door" or some dumb watered-down toddler shit
I had a single instance of CSA, and the therapist I had because of that event made my mom buy this book for me when I started puberty. Overall, it was a relief to read. It was the book that made it the most clear to me that what happened wasn't my fault, and that I didn't have to feel ashamed of having my own urges as I developed. This was 15+ years ago. I've been so confused as to why people are putting up a huge fuss NOW.
In my experience , a lot of the people complaining about this seems to be the same ones that don’t care what their kids listen to on the radio or what shows they watch. I’d rather have my kid learn about sex and sexual health in a realistic, respectful and HONEST way than from songs and media that exaggerate, over romanticize and just create overall unrealistic expectations around it.
@@Anonymoususer08Yea, when I ask what the difference was, they’d say…”it’s just is” or something along those lines. Then bring up about how God will send your soul to hell of you have sex outside of marriage.
I remember The Care of Keeping of You being really popular when I was younger. That book taught me so much!
@@Anonymoususer08 me reading about righteous men getting beautiful, virgin sex maids in heaven as a reward at age 12 or so: 😐
That's how I plan to teach my kid when they get older. I'm sure there will be questions and am so glad there's a book that I can help explain these topics to them.
@@leahmcbain3773I read that book too. It was helpful and talk about period. I had to beg my mom for that book and then my dad had to approve. The part in the book where it says you may start to have feelings for guys, my mom said ignore that part it’s bad. Ugh 😣
It's crazy to me that people are up in arms about this book now - I'm an adult now (early 20s, but an adult nonetheless) and this book was one of MY first exposures to sex ed...
Wow that’s much better than what I got. (Nearly 30). I love the progress 🥹
me too! I vividly remember my parents giving me this book, my quietly taking it into my room, POURING OVER IT and never discussing it with them again, because it's a deeply awkward topic to discuss with your parents. I swear sex ed teachers are braver than marines for giving this talk every year, but it's absolutely necessary because children need to know what's happening if an adult is assaulting them and what to do if it happens, a topic that as I recall took up far more space in this book than the two pages about sexual intercourse.
Its crazy how this book was published in 1994
@@spacebunsarah- much better than what I got too.
I was probably 15 when my parents decided it was time for "the birds and the bees" talk, but neither one of them could bring themselves to actually have the talk.
So when I got home from school one day, I found a copy of "Everything You Wanted To Know About Sex (But Were Afraid To Ask)".
And I am sure that neither of them ever actually read the book, because there was plenty of discussion of topics that my ultra conservative parents would never approve me learning about.
It was quite progressive, but not really designed for a child or a teen, and definitely didn't include any pictures.
And people are complaining about the book now!???? Old ass book.
Nooooo don’t educate my kids on how to recognise inappropriate behaviour towards them, don’t teach them what sex is and what is and isn’t okay for people to do to them or how to say no to behaviour they’re uncomfortable with, you groomer. 😭😭
Lol I’m going to ask conservatives if it’s ok for a little girl to say no to an older guy who wants to have sex with her....I want to see their reactions to that question XD
Exactly how can they be so against child sexual abuse but strip children from the knowledge to recognize their own sexual abuse?
@@leahmcbain3773 It's always been the same, they virtue signal about how we need to protect kids, yet do NOTHING to help or defend actual survivors of abuse. In fact they perpetuate it, say child marriage is a good thing actually and that every parent should beat on their kids, that they hate pedophiles but do nothing in terms of harm reduction, and to kick their gay and trans kids to the curb. They never talk about victims of abuse because they'd have to include LGBT people, who are abused way more than average. A huge contributor being lack of education on consent and sex. It's so disgusting!! Psychopathic people.
@leahmcbain3773 They're using it as a cover for their own misdeeds or the misdeeds of others; enabling at best, criminal at worst. And they know claiming they're trying to help will get less informed people on their side.
@@Golems_victoryyes she should say no and the man who asked should be put to death. Your political opponents are not demons. I was molested as a child and am strongly against any pedophilia of any sort. Don’t just believe everything you hear kid.
"It talks about puberty, sexual health, and gender identity"
OH NO THE HORROR
Conservatives when they let their kids watch disney princess movies about guys kidnapping girls and/or kissing them in their sleep: 😊
conservatives when two guys peck each other: 🥺
can't be teaching about real life bc their kids might realize conservative parents are wrong
@@sabsain2399 I think their reaction is more of a: 😡
the book is softcore porn, how are you guys this tone deaf? kids SHOULD know enough about sex ed to not get groomed, but this is too much, like c'mon did they have to explain in detail how to do sex if kids shouldnt do it?
@@RandooART I learned about intercouse from a dictionary when I was around 10 and honestly? It helped a lot. I learned what a penis and vagina was and that helped tremendously for reasons I'm not gonna get into, and I also learned that sex isn't really what I thought of it to be. It could be dangerous and painful and there was a lot that went into it.
What good is it telling kids that sex is this naughty thing that adults do. It doesn't help much. Do you know what even makes things sexual? If things had been vague I would've never been saved like I was. Maybe going in detail IS the way to teach kids sex ED?
it’s weird that people are upset about this book, but won’t listen when their kids make an outcry about CSA
The problem is that some kids are learning this at a very young age. I feel like they should at least learn this in their pre teens when children's body's are developing and not when a child's brain is not even developed
@@thebonedemonchild predators don't wait till kids are about to hit puberty. Sex ed is known to help kids both avoid SA and tell someone they've been SAed, also a child's brain still isn't developed when they're preteens. It is more developed at that age but why draw the line there? It just seems like you're drawing an arbitrary line
@@thebonedemonthe brain isn’t even developed till 25ish
@@theveganduolingobird7349 wait, define 'developed'. You obviously don't mean it literally fails to function until some magical spark at post 25 years old, right?
I'm really just asking because your comment feels like a casual generalisation of a very significant topic, that being the age-dependent capabilities of a human being at a time when school is mandatory and has lots of highly fixed views of success that puts pressure on children to measure up to them through various rigorous exams and tests. I personally worry sweeping generalisations about development of the brain can cause a lot of doubt in children under these conditions, largely from personal experience of trying to find a personal reason for my own academic shortcomings (even if I ended up barely succeeding many of the final exams)
@@dontseemyprofilepic3157 finish growing would be better wording tbh
My educators (Georgia, USA) taught abstinence-only and, guess what, my high school had a daycare center to accommodate all of the teen mothers. Make it make sense
Holy fuck that’s barbaric
Just so you know that isn’t normal and I’ve never ever heard of that practice before in my life.
@@spacebunsarah abstinence-only is pretty common in the South Eastern US.
That actually sounds like a great way to support teenage parents. At the same time, we don't want *more* teenage parents.
You would think direct evidence of their education not working would make them reconsider, but.
i write children's literature. i wrote a couple pieces on Native American coming-of-age ceremonies. girls' ceremonies happen after their first period, so i wrote that. my editor said i needed to change it to "puberty," not because the publishing company is against telling the truth to children, but because they're avoiding controversy & lost sales due to irate parents :/
That is so silly. I live in a more progressive country, but when we had the period talk in school, I remember there being a couple of parents rolling their eyes about them starting so early because "they're too young to even get periods for a couple of years". I had had mine for at least a year at that point.
Can't you use menarche instead of first period, or would that be too complicated for the readers?
@TheSylda I've never heard anyone say menarche in real life. I dunno if it's useful to make it more common or not? I also honestly don't think the word choice is the actual issue here
@@TheSylda i've never heard that word before, had to google it! either way, i wasn't allowed to mention it. the content was written at an 8th grade reading level, which is far older than many kids start their periods
@@alyxxm1019 I've just had to Google how old 8th graders are (I live in the UK, different numbering system). You seriously wern't allowed to use the word period in a book meant for 13 -14 year olds??! Thats crazy.
For anyone who read the book, do they go over the fact that just because you said “yes” once , doesn’t mean you can’t say “no” the next time and vice versa? I’m just curious because even some adults can’t grasp that concept.
rapists and sexaul assualters know what their doing they dont care
Do they go over the fact that rape and assault can't be a result of physical violence/force alone? And that sex through emotional and mental coercion is also rape because there's no consent? I feel like what you and I just mentioned go hand in hand
@@sabsain2399 sadly people are still ignorant to not understand sexual coercion is rape so many people were sending hate to andrew Callaghan's accusers saying regret isn't rape which is a common way to dismiss victims
@@HudaAbdulahi I think they try to frame it as "you said yes but then decided it was no later."
I think we should also not use the word regret since it pretty much implies that. The way to describe the situation would be that the victim was coerced and pressured and didn't realize they were being raped until later on
i hope they do go over that it has to be a very *enthusiastic* yes
Even as someone who grew up in a pretty open family and I understood what (heterosexual) sex was pretty early, there are things in this book that I wish I understood earlier.
I'm autistic and from a very young age I started masturbating as a way of stimming. I didn't know I was masturbating (I never even touched under the clothes until much later) but I knew there was something vaguely shameful about it. I know that this book discusses masturbation and had I known what it is and why it was something private, I could have had a much more healthy relationship with it. Instead, I embarrassed myself and others by not understanding proper boundaries around masturbation and that's something that still upsets me as an adult.
I strongly believe that telling children the truth is almost always the right thing to do, and it honestly disgusts me that there is this enormous movement in the US to hide the truth about sex from kids. It will only make them more vulnerable.
I'm autistic as well, you are not alone in your experience. I did the exact same things. Embarrassed myself, was never taught what privacy was or that I had a right to it, and I knew wayyyy too much graphic detail about sex before I was even 7. I'm 25 now, but been on the internet my entire life. Those experiences ended up leading to being groomed and abused later on as a preteen, being really hypersexual, and seeing nothing wrong with myself as a child engaging in sexual acts with adults and other kids. Totally addicted to porn I was groomed with and masturbation.. Fucked me up man... sex ed in 6th grade did nothing because I already knew all that shit, and way more. If they had me read this book, I would've known I was trans even earlier than 14, known how to construct proper boundaries for myself, and to understand what's okay and what's really not. Sex Ed is busted in this country because of how much backlash a book like this, that's completely rooted in reality, gets just because these people hate gay and trans people so much, advocating for sex-negative body hate and shame. It's wild.
Their status quo is to hide the reality of human behavior from kids, to force them into a box, or abuse them. They just do not care about the humanity of children at all.
Bro said they masturbate to stim that's fucking crazy 💀
Same for me, I didn't know it was sexual at all, so I felt incredibly shameful as puberty was starting for me. This book is very neutral and wholesome, if I had something like this I would've felt a whole lot better about myself.
@@badcaseofstripes Same for me, without the grooming, but I knew too much at a young age and it was incredibly shameful, and I didn't have a healthy relationship with it. There's so many examples of why this book is actually important, but the conservatives are far too angry to see it.
I work for public libraries (not front desk work, more behind the scenes support staff) and I cannot tell you the amount of grief this book (as well as two others) has caused for librarians in my area the past 8 months. There were signs up on the main road in town saying to "support God and not the pedophiles at the library." They have berated our library's staff, threatened them directly, and made an already homophobic rural town feel SO much more dangerous for queer folks to live in. I'm so happy to see you give this book the chance it deserves. And for some additional context, the same religious zealots who keep claiming this book will be used to groom children actively break bread each week with a known child sex offender. They seem willing to excuse that but draw the line at books which inform children and teens about the world around them (including how to stay safe around adults like their congregation member who is KNOWN to abuse children).
I hope everyone keeps an eye on these happening in their communities. PLEASE go to public library board meetings. PLEASE speak up during public comment if you have the means. Our very 1st Amendment right to access information is under threat, and in some states it has gotten way more traction than it should have ever been able to.
*GDamn😮😢🤣🙃🙏! That = PETTY. And. DIRTY. In.The WORST Way! Thank you for your work 😇.*
I’m glad your looking out for those in your community who are vulnerable and their futures. You seem like a great person, I hope it gets better for you and all of the rest who are helping alongside those who are fighting for their rights to exist happily. Thank you and the rest.
@@FooxArt this means so much to me; thank you for your kind words. Ultimately I just want the kids and young people in this area to have an easier time growing up than folks my age did. It's hard work, but it's worth doing. Thank you for the encouragement 💖
My pleasure. It's one of my values for people to have whatever support they need, and to have allies and equal opportunities via education/knowledge or other means. You are helping to provide both, so thank you. Your impact is valued.
I just heard of one Texas school superintendent firing the school librarians and converting them to “behavior centers” (read: detention) …which I suppose allows him to choose the books the children read
I am a parent to a teen. I reviewed sexual health with my son when he was in grade school, probably 10 or 11 years old. I did the whole banana and a condom to show him how a condom fits over a banana. He was curious and I treated it like a lesson on brushing your teeth. I remember my family did not do much to teach me. When I was young, I recall getting a book on puberty at the public library bc no one told me anything. We need to break the cycle of sex health ignorance!
breaking it means we also break a huge component of child sexual abuse, we need this to happen
kudos to you.
these books also need to teach our sons about consent & coerce. the world doesn't teach them about it/teaches them that crossing boundaries is ok
By the way I just looked up pedophilia.... it crosses all ethnicities, all political parties, i.e., liberals and conservatives, a races etc.
The pastor is acting like the school board is mad about him reading the book. I'm pretty sure they're upset that he's literally screaming it.
Fr and of course people were uncomfortable. There’s a time and a place for reading that book, and that situation was neither the time nor place. Doesn’t mean there’s anything inherently wrong with the information
I know the "like playing chess with a pigeon" is real cliché, but he's so convinced he's doing something huh
If someone started screaming the text of Peter Rabbit in a school board meeting I'd ask them to stop too
It kind of sounded like the guy's time was up and they were trying to go to someone else.
@@monicadaniels784 agreed. And he interpreted that as them not wanting to hear what he had to say.
Knowledge is power, and groomers prey on the powerless.
*YES😢😮😂😇. AMEN. Thank you.*
When I was a kid, I was preoccupied with the fear that masturbating was causing a horrifyingly shameful infection and I could “tell” that this was true because I figured any discharge was a sign of the infection, and the more there was the worse the infection was. I even asked a teacher when I was about eleven if it was normal to have “goop coming from your vagina” and she told me to go to the doctor LOL. would have been so nice if someone told me it’s ok be horny and it won’t kill you slowly like I thought 👍🏽
Yes! I really wish someone had told me discharge is normal, with & without arousal
I wouldn't blame the teacher there. If you did say "goop" then I can only imagine what the teacher thought.
Man I felt the same way about my penis when I was younger😂 I was just like…… “uh, should this be happening?”💀
I feel like the reason ignorance about sex ed is so desired in conservative communities is because it makes it easier to control people's sexualities or sexual behavior. If you want to control people, fear is a common tool to use for that purpose. And it is easier to manipulate people with fear when they lack the awareness of knowledge that would otherwise debunk your fearmongering tactics. Especially in conservative religious communities, they operate to convince people that breaking the purity culture rules like having sex before marriage or mast*rbating is not only morally wrong, but that bad things will happen. And then the fear of the threats of the made up consequences will scare people into submission to those rules.
That was such a huge issue for me. I was always scared someone would notice/smell it. I was told boys had the raging hormones and that girls didn't really enjoy sex.
i'm a trans man in turkey. the only things i could try to define as sex ed was our teacher getting all the girls in the classroom in 4th grade and saying "you will get your (period, but we have a less supposedly explicit term for it), and be prepared because it will bleed." we asked her if it was painful and she said "not at all." (lmao two of the "girls" in that class turned out to be men so its kinda funny as well). and when my best friend came out to me as trans, i told my mom about it (i thought it was totally cool and like, yeah i can see how he is a boy. i didnt think abt my own gender at all during those times) and she said "dont ever let anyone try anything with you." in response. she thought my trans boy friend who was 11 just like me was perverted. what the hell. and no one talked to me abt sex ever again except for my girl friend group when we were 15-16 much later. i never felt shame abt it either because like. no one talked about it! and they ask why i realised i was trans at 16. like bitch i thought gender and sex were some kind of bug till then!
oh and also you can imagine how betrayed i felt when i was hit with the worst pain i have ever felt in my first period because i thought it wouldnt hurt at all thanks to that stupid woman
Oh, so transmen/ boys are women, and transwomen/ girls are men. How simple is that, I would call you a woman, and with respect, I would you a miss. Logic.
Happy pride! 🏳⚧
What?! I know a lot of people who love those books because they don’t want embarrassing conversations with their parents or kids. It’s a great place to start learning about puberty. I just can’t with the U.S. right now
Also providing information isn’t the same as pushing explicit material. I hate when people push ignorance on kids because I think it sets them up to be taken advantage of without the language to describe/explain when people cross boundaries and/or abuse them.
My parents, for one. I really appreciate it, I learned so much thanks to those books.
Yeahhh If I was a parent I would just give books and send links without saying anything, lol. And if I was comfortable I’d probably be really boring to hear ramble on and on
there are pictures of genitalia? kids draw penises on everything starting at like age five so I think they'll be okay.
Omg I once went to this mandatory chapel service that I attended with the youngest members of the school as I am in one of the oldest, and they literally drew penises EVERYWHERE
That’s all they draw lol
Right??! Little foster brother drew dicks and tits on EVERYTHING.. when I carefully sounded him out (I was 16), he just complained that he didn't see as many real life breasts as he wanted to (anymore, since no more breast feeding) and dicks were funny to him. 😂
Seriously, I was curious about other boys bodies very young and drew penises on shit lol. And I was very innocent didn't watch reality TV and didn't know what gay even was
8======D
I'm an adult, I swear.
i read this book in fifth grade, i was pretty sheltered and didn't know what sex was, i wasn't upset by this book i wasn't traumatized. this book was very helpful teaching me how sex works and was genuinely very informative it helped me understand intimacy, this book set the ground work for me to have a healthy boundaries about my body
I was 8 (now 29) when my mother gave me this as a substitute for ANY sort of discussion. My only issue with this book is that it doesn’t replace talking to your child about things. Giving them a book called “It’s Perfectly Normal” and then treating it like a dirty secret sends mixed signals.
omg that's exactly what my mom did! It wasn't this exact book but it was some American Girls book that included illustrations of how to insert a tampon and what kinds of bras there are and what the stages of breast growth look like and that kind of thing. We barely talked about sex in person though, except when i got caught and punished for watching porn. which i found because i was curious about sex and didn't feel like i could ask my parents about!
@@fauxrowsdower7610 I had that one too! It taught me how to shave! LoL! Shame there’s so much shame around women’s bodies, our own mothers won’t even talk to some of us about them.
Let's be real -- anyone who doesn't want children to have access to proper sex-ed while also promoting child-adult marriage is a p3d0phile. And I would go so far as to accuse anyone who thinks a child 12 and up doesn't need sex-ed is either also a p3d0 or at the very least a p3d0-enabler. I started growing breasts in 4th grade and I'm so glad we learned about hormones and changes then, and I was nine! It's helpful and reassuring to know how our bodies will change and what we can expect. These fake 'Christian' Republicans just want children to start out puberty clueless so those same children can be more easily victimized.
When I was 11 years old, a man offered my parents money to have me as his bride. I was ELEVEN.
Thank you so much for this video, bringing awareness, and sharing your story. I was kinda pressured into being with guys when I was a teen. If I'd been allowed to awaken in my own natural time, I probably would've been with a woman first, and probably in my late 20s.
My condolences 🤬! But, exactly.
@@officiallytrustissues5411 I understand. But how...?
Who the hell would allow child adult marriage? Sounds like the people who made the book “gender queer” or something
@@IGetGangBangedByFishAllDayconservatives ? who thr fuck else
@@IGetGangBangedByFishAllDaychristen in america who want to marry a 12 year old child and this a law in america (many conservitive voted for it). queer people are not groomers/pedos it is just a narretive to demenise/discrimenate queer people
Man, cancel culture is really out of control. You can't make a book that helps kids with normal bodily functions without a bunch of right-wing snowflakes jumping down your throat.
@@Anonymoususer08what are liberals currently banning?
@@Anonymoususer08is there a blue or purple state currently having a law to ban books from libraries of schools? Genuinely curious because sometimes people do the whole 'both sides" even when they are very clearly different.
@@Anonymoususer08 Do you have any examples of a ban rather than a product being removed by its manufacturers?
@@Anonymoususer08 that wasn't banned though was it?
You said it
On the one hand, I get that there are parents who think 10 is too young to learn about what physically happens during intercourse. Or who don't want a textbook to give their child "the talk" for them. On the other hand, man just think about the kids who are being abused or are at risk who could be helped by being told outright what sex is.
**RE: 10 years old being seen as "too young" to learn about the birds and bees:**
The only reason I would challenge this is because on Bing, there was a news story in my feed just yesterday about a Peruvian child who's 11 who had an ab*rtion. Idk why that particular piece of news made its way all the way to the U.S. but it feels like it made headlines over here to stir up fake controversy about people as young as this person regularly engaging in the kinds of things adults do, which is simply not happening unless there's a context of exploitation or ab*se.
It just feels like every generation, this place keeps saying it wants to have these kinds of conversations, adds way too much religion to it to the point where there's no facts or science at all in what's being said, getting mad at the rightful backlash to the indoctrination used in place of teaching, then you have fools like this pastor making it seem like every gay and trans person everywhere on earth for all time is aiming to be around children just to teach them shit like this, when that's not only not the case, but all further convos on this are immediately shut down.
Tbh, even a lot of convos on s*xuality for adults is 20-30 years behind. It's always the most basic conversations. The same fake taboos of BDSM, threesomes, and pegging because the convos aren't being allowed to evolve as we do. There's no telling why the people who published it felt the need to release this book at a time like this. I honestly think they should've waited a few years given the weaponized optics around LGBTQ issues, but I'm not sure if that would even matter, given the state of politics here. I say all this as a lesbian myself, but it just feels like you can't win and you're meant to stay quiet about anything real people go through, lest you end up looking like you're aligning yourself with the most despicable people on earth.
@@axeslinger94 Yeah, I should clarify that I don't think it's too young. I think culturally the United States is so entrenched in purity culture that natural bodily functions have been deemed taboo. Which is a shame for many reasons.
I totally understand, the perspective of thinking kids that age are too young, but if they're old enough to ask questions, they're old enough to know the answers. In this day and age, if you don't give your kids info in a safe and informative way, they will get it from friends and the internet. I had unrestricted and unmonitored access to a computer since I was very young, and so when my parents refused to give answers under the guise that I was "too young" I went to the internet, and I found porn. From ages 8 to 11 I consumed so much of that shit. If I had had access to an informational book like this, then that would have never happened to me.
That’s exactly what I thought. I don’t think I’d feel comfortable reading this book to a child or a child reading this book on their own, but I know I’d feel even less comfortable knowing all the sexually abused children who don’t even realize yet that they’re being abused. Like it or not, this book would help in reducing grooming and sexual abuse, not encourage it.
Besides, with the internet, it’s impossible to keep sex secret from anyone. I personally knew about it since I was 4. So conservatives and others like me who feel uncomfortable need to get with the times and know that if we don’t teach kids sex ed, memes would instead
@@theshire9173
Yea, would have been really great if someone thought to check with the kid who was kidnapped to see if someone had abused them.
Course stifling any conversation around sex just served to teach me to hide my trauma.
On the specific bit he was reading. Regardless of anyone's opinion or discomfort about what they should be ready for, YOUNG PEOPLE'S BODIES DO THAT. It is typical for 12 year olds to experience vaginal wetness or erections, and in many people it happens considerably earlier than that. Like yeah, as adults it's super uncomfortable to talk about a 12 year old experiencing physical sensations and responses of sexual arousal. But for a 12 year old, when that is a thing that they are experiencing in their body, they deserve to know what is going on and what it means. The fact that they aren't ready to have sex yet is not a good reason to lie to them and keep them ignorant about the things that are likely happening to them.
And learning about this absolutely fits in with all you are saying. Being able to recognize the physicals signs of sexual arousal in your body, and understand them as their own thing that can be independent of the act of having sex is crucially simultaneously being able to recognize when your body is not ready for sex. It empowers a young person to be able to say "I know how a body that might be ready for sex responds to sexual situations, and that is NOT how my body feels in this situation, so I know I am not ready". Or, as is stated clearly in the book "the fact my body is responding this way is not consent, and does not mean I am ready". Or even to be able to understand the pleasure of feelings of arousal in a consensual situation as their own thing which can be enjoyed as is, that those feelings don't mean you therefore have to have penetrative sex.
I also really do not like how he was describing the language as filthy/dirty. I UNDERSTAND why people use these words. Adults do not want to think about the sexual feelings of kids, and adults who do think about the sexual feelings of kids are in fact filthy/dirty. But kids do not understand that nuance. When a child hears an adult use this language, the child simply thinks that they are dirty for having sexual feelings.
Or worse, if god forbid the child has been abused, they begin to think they have been dirtied/soiled which is obviously horrid for their psyche.
*YES. THANK. YOU😮😂😇.*
lol this reminds me of how I always used to think there was something wrong with me as a kid, if I had any discharge in my undies, even though it's totally typical
Sex education is so important, especially for sexual and gender minorities. Growing up gay, I felt not normal, I felt weird and ostracized. Sex education helped me realize I was normal, and that lots of people feel the same way as I did and that there was nothing to be ashamed of. Every child deserves non stigmatizing honest sex education
I actually cried watching this video. I got emotional right around the same part that you did, Kat. This book would have absolutely been LIFE CHANGING for me as a child who was groomed by so many grown men in my life. There's so much trauma I've been forced to continuously unpack throughout my life as a result of sexual grooming, r*pe, and continued harassment by men older/ bigger/ stronger than me. People using things like cishetero 'roles' or religion as a weapon to force me to do things I was never ready to do. Thank you, Kat. Thank you for showing this book and explaining what it /actually/ is that these people want with bannning it - they want to keep children ignorant. They want children to remain naive, and to know nothing about themselves, their bodies, and what is happening to them. It's sick, and exhausting.
This would be uncontroversial in my country.
WHERE DO YOU LIVE PLEASE
not to dox yourself
@@sam.onella northern Europe
That’s because we live in America - the land of the free (and insane).
As a fellow northern european I was thinking the same
@@nergregga THAT MAKES SENSE
Thank you for risking demonetization to shed light on what's actually going on here. SA is so often a generational trauma that keeps getting passed along. And for there to be an empowering resource like this means a lot.
It's so sad that youtube's algorithm tries to hide important videos like this one.
*SAME 😢😇❤.*
I remember reading this a few years ago. None of this was controversial. None of this was horrifying.
I remember reading it more than a few years ago, and it wasn’t controversial or horrifying then either.
Which makes me wonder: Why now?
Because this is a political issue, the LGBT issue is again weaponized, so screaming about "porn & grooming is everywhere where is a LGBT topic" makes conservatives and right-wingers more aggressive and irrational.
this seems like great information for teens. as an asexual person myself, i know i would have found the bee character who is more interested in astronomy very relatable and affirming. i was fortunate to have a pretty good high school sex ed class and i hope this book gives other people the chance to learn all i did and more before someone can take advantage of their ignorance
My parents literally BOUGHT me these books as like- a 10 year old and it genuinely taught me stuff that the birds and bees days in school never taught me 💀💀💀
Why am I almost in tears though. I hope eventually this becomes the norm.
I almost vomited at the individual who was advocating for 12 year old marriages but was against the sexual education. It's fascinating how that works.
I wish wholeheartedly this book existed when I was a child. I grew up in Texas and the only education was abstinence. I can effectively say it does not work. I am fortunate enough to have never been pregnant or had a pregnancy scare. However, I still experienced so many things that this book would have helped me with and placed into perspective.
Thank you for sharing this and going over this topic. ❤
The author of this book has a whole series for a range of ages/understanding levels.
Who’s In My Family talks about different types of families.
Who Has What is a pre-puberty basic sexual anatomy book.
It’s Not The Stork and It’s So Amazing are two that focus on the baby making process both with sperm and eggs and a bit of the sexual mechanics.
Let’s Talk About Sex is probably one step above It’s Perfectly Normal and talks more clearly about consent and sexual assault.
I remember getting a few of these from my public library quite a bit before I learned these things in school - which was also pretty solid sex ed - and my parents, after reviewing them a bit to make sure I was at the right level for it, let me read them to understand. I was already reading a lot about science and anatomy, and they were in the same section of the library. It helped me understand a lot, and I’m very grateful for these books. My parents also talked with me after and answered some additional questions, but it was really nice to read about some things that were a bit embarrassing at the time on my own. I also didn’t have sex at all in my teens. The books are the best kind of informative.
I'm so happy to learn they talked about asexuality in this book! As an ace person it definitely would have helped me understand myself better if I had known about asexuality sooner
💜🖤🩶🤍 Ace :) wonderful
This discussion is super important, because awareness leads to autonomy, which leads to better decision-making, which leads to healthier sex. Also, congrats on 500k!
People who think this book is too inappropriate for young children, or cant see how its relevant for children at all are so so SO incredibly lucky. I wish I had this book as a child, i think it would have helped me a lot 😢 honestly I teared up at the exact same time as you ♥️
Same😭😭😭
Damn, we could have started on healing so much sooner if we had this book
Lucky, or in denial. 😑
@@ronjaj.addams-ramstedt1023or guilty
I think 10 is the perfect age to have a book like this. I started puberty at 10, but most of my classmates started a couple of years later. It's good to get that kind of information ahead of time, instead of being shamed for asking questions as it happens.
yeah, 10 and with a trusted adult who can answer questions instead of a kid reading it on their own and filling in any blanks with assumptions
Trans man here, I had my first period at 9. People need to understand that kids deserve to have educational resources on puberty without shame or stigma.
I'd say it's a case by case basis. Books like this should be introduced when the child becomes pubescent. Not in the middle of puberty but at the beginning because that is when sexual feelings will start to happen. The only caveat I'd say is for very late developing kids. By 13-14 all children know these things anyhow from talking amongst themselves and that is a famously bad way to be educated about sex. So if you have a kid who hasn't entered puberty but is getting to like, 8th grade, you'd probably want to give them this book anyhow. (BTW not developing until 13-14 is pretty normal for people with male bodies so this wouldn't be a very niche situation).
I agree, I think most 10 year olds had to watch a video about puberty in class aswell so this book shouldn't be so controversial.
It’s insane to me that people think 10 is too young for this. I was growing breasts when I was 10 and had sex ed in school by then. Even before then, I had a vague idea of nudity between adult men and women being “something”, though I didn’t know what
This book would have been a game changer for me, I have never had a sexual relationship, however I have been in situations as a young adult and as an adult in situations where I could have been taken advantage of very easily.
My experience learning about sex also involved porn and erotica, I don’t think that I should have to explain why that’s a horrible way to learn about sexually.
I leaned the mechanics from romance novels. Also not the most accurate source of information..
For me it was mslash fanfiction & hentai😅 likely not the best source of info.
mine was from smut & porn. not a reliable source for that topic
This book and books series such as "what makes a baby?", "sex is a funny word", and "you know....sex" provide children and caretakers with support and language that actually helps keep our youth safe.
I never thought that me receiving this education in public school between the ages of 10-11 would be considered radical today.
I had sex ed when I was 8 and none of the parents complained
your analysis of groomers relying on ignorance is so spot on and I never connected those dots, but 1000%. a lot of these conservatives want the children they're "protecting" to not know about sexual health, bodily autonomy and consent so that they can continue their grooming. an amazing video & an amazing book!
I feel like nowadays, with access to the internet, most kids end up "learning" about sex from it. And sure, they can find some educational sources that five matter of fact information, but instead they're most likely to find p*rn or adult discussions that are inappropriate for them. Having access to information like this book provides can make all the difference for a teen or pre-teen to understand what sex is without stumbling upon things that will only fuck up their views on it. The part about consent is especially important, and how it's so inclusive. Mentioning intersex people and not wanting to have sex? That would have made a huge difference to my young self.
My mom gave me The Girl's Guide To Growing Up and never actually discussed anything with me. I had to figure everything out on my own. I wish I could give this book to my childhood self. Maybe then I wouldn't have let my friends experiment on me at middle school sleepovers like that.
Oh my heart breaks for you. I'm so sorry. I hope you are healing.
I’m sorry you went through that.
Oof yeah, a lot of those lines you read would've done a lot for me as well.
I remember getting an American Girl book about bodies from my mother but from what I remember it included nothing about sex.
I think the uncomfortableness that some parents have talking about sex in a direct manner to their kids leads to this need to shut down any conversation that feels too blunt, when that's exactly what kids need.
I got that same American Girl book. It was decently good, from what I recall. But it didn't talk about sex or safe sex. It mentioned stuff like "when you'll have babies..." or how periods were "preparing your body to have babies when you're older..." but there was no discussion on how babies are made, what sex is or how to do it safely.
I had this book too, except I didn’t read it fully past the first chapter because it didn’t answer all of my questions. By then, my mom had already taught me about sex and making babies, and the book was more of “here’s some extra information so you can stop bothering me about it.” As a trans man, I felt like my experience was bad because I had no representation of it, and I had assumed for a long time that something was just wrong with me. I think these conversations are important for kids to have with their parents because if not, they’ll end up clueless or miserable about these things.
Those decpictions of cartoon people having sex would have been more pure to me than any sexual advertisement or sexy scenes as movies I saw as a kid. Pretty sure some of the parents against this book watch inappropriate media in front of their kids all the time.
"There are worse ways." that hit so fucking hard. There ARE worse ways to learn about sex. They happen all the damn time! But people wanna throw a fit over a book that helps kids understand and therefore possibly protect themselves from that instead of taking a second to look at the real problem instead.
I was overly conscious of how my 6 year old body might look to men in goddamn footie pajamas because of how I ended up "learning" about male and female bodies. And yet I always thought it was my fault for thinking that way as a kid. Like I was corrupted, and i should be ashamed to have these fears because im a child and children shouldn't be aware of their bodies or of sex right? The knowledge I learned against my will in an environment I didn’t understand then became my fault because now I knew these things when I wasn't supposed to.
Instead of making it seem like the end of the world when your children learn about sex, maybe, oh i dont know, normalize it? Let them know its ok to learn about it because knowledge is power, and no one should be taking their power over their bodies away.
This book is insanely … helpful. If my kids’ School doesn’t carry it, I’ll buy the book myself and give it to them!
That’s a good fucking idea. If the library won’t touch it, I bet English teachers will.
I guarantee nearly all these peoples children have been exposed to porn and hear about worse things on the school bus or whoever’s grooming them. This book is an empowering act of love to help kids not feel foreign from their bodies, understand more when someone’s grooming them and not have as much shame and confusion.
Gotta be honest, I had a visceral repulsive reaction to the idea of me as a kid reading some of this stuff and had to take a break to unpack why.
Most of the answers came down to the fact that I was forbidden from knowing about it and told that this kind of knowledge is dangerous.
What was really dangerous was that I started having sexual feelings as a preteen and didn't have the language to explain them or a safe place to do so. I knew vaguely about masturbation but was told it would just harm your body or ruin your future marriage. Everything was about my future marriage or my future babies. I didn't know there were other options.
Throughout my teenage years I experienced sexual frustration without knowing that that's what it was. To me I just felt "bad" and the only thing to do about it was to repress it.
To make things more complicated, I'm asexual/aegosexual. I don't experience sexual desire towards real people but I do have a libido. If I had known about sex and queerness when I was younger, I would have been a lot less afraid of my own body and mind.
16:16 This is SO important for kids to read. As an aromatic asexual person, I grew up thinking that I’m somehow physiologically and/or psychologically damaged in some way, because I was taught that human beings are sexual beings, that everybody will fall in love and experience sexual attraction. It wasn’t until I was in my mid 30s that I came to know that I’m not defective.
This is why representation is so important. Acceptance and understanding is key to fostering a healthy mind and robust self esteem. I appreciate them being so inclusive!
As the book says in the title: It’s Perfectly Normal!
The fact that they are calling a sex ed book "pornography" is very oxymoronic if you think about it
I hate how teaching children from an early age about science and the human body, and how to express themselves and make responsible decisions is considered "pornography," yet in the same breath child marriage and having kids before 20 is perfectly legal and okay
Didn't know child marriages were legal. And why can't someone have kids before 20? If 18 is a legal adult?
@@africanhistoryhow can you properly take care of a whole other human being when your brain isn't fully developed yet and you don't even have the financial capabilities to take care of said child. How many 18 year olds do you know of that have a stable job that can support a family. In my humble opinion you shouldn't have kids until your mid to late 20s that way at least they have stable jobs and can afford to give this child a proper life who doesn't need to worry about where their next meal is gonna come from
And kids can get pregnant but can't get an abortion
I HAD THIS BOOK AS A KID
ughhh this is so annoying to me! This book was really helpful to me as a kid, i think i genuinely would have 0 idea about ANYTHING in in the book without it, none of my schools ever talked about that stuff!
I have a friend who was never given any kind of education about the human body and she literally told me she didnt know what menstration is
Bruh it literally show drawings of sex in it it didn’t help you it’s porn we’re not snowflakes because we want it banned.
@@DredFed you are definitely snowflakes.
@@DredFed i get what ur trying to say to me man, but if you think drawings of people in a bed together is porn youre seriously sexually frustrated. im not gonna argue with you about it tho, so if you reply after this im not gonna respond
@@DredFedyou didn't witness a crumb of the review in the book of this video and it shows.
@@DredFed
pornography is intentionally designed to make people horny. this book describes sex as it is. doesn't exaggerate anything. and that's fine, it is meant to be educational and explain to kids what they may experience once they get older and how to deal with it safely. they can also revisit the book multiple times.
i'd much rather them have this book than to learn on their own from the internet.
My best friend took a class on the psychology of sex. The first day the prof put those classic pictures of both the femal and male reproductive systems and asked people, grown adults, all over 18, to label the parts. It took 5-6 people for each to get them completely labeled. And that was just mind boggling to me.
Conservatives hate sex ed because they want the parents to decide when to teach their kids about sex, not the schools.
The problem with this argument is not all parents do give their kids the "talk" maybe because they are afraid too or because they feel super uncomfortable talking about it. Then there's also the risk that parents that do give their kids the "talk", won't accurately explain fully certain important things that their kid should know. This could be due to a lack of knowledge or bias.
My parents believe the LGBT is a sin so they didn't talk to me about it beyond it being bad, they did not know about asexuality, and so on those grounds I was in the dark and didn't figure out I was asexual until I researched more about the LGBT in my senior year of highschool when I started questioning their argument. For the longest time I was confused, couldn't figure out why I was so different from the straight girls and worried I was a lesbian even tho I didn't feel anything there either. At the time I saw being a lesbian as a bad thing because my parents hated it and I trusted their word as truth.
Mom of a 5 year old boy here. My son is very interested in the human body and has asked really insightful questions about reproduction. (Started around 2 1/2!) Some I asked to wait to answer. Others I just told the truth; women have ovaries that have eggs, boys have testicles with sperm and when a sperm meets the egg a baby is made. Anatomy is not inherently sexual. Not even reproductive anatomy. We talk openly about the anatomically correct language for all body parts (both sexes) and some not anatomically correct language that people use.
I took him to a school board meeting that I went up to comment support for inclusive learning and comprehensive sex education. He stood next to me at the podium and after I was finished listing benefits of comprehensive sex ed (that he has no business knowing about yet) I looked down and told him we would discuss it all when he was a little older. He said ok and hasn't followed up with me since because he knows we will.
The parents of the kid in Kindergarten cop that taught him "boys have a penis, girls have a vagina" were right! This is the way to teach children. Although now we make space and teach about transgender individuals too. 😘
The fact that this book is being labeled as p*rn elucidates this country’s hyper-sexualization of the human body. Just because someone is nude or two people are engaging in sexual acts (especially as hand drawn educational depictions) doesn’t mean that it is inherently p*rnographic. This comes off as more of a self-tell on how they view sex and the human body rather than a concern for children’s well-being. As you noted in the Abstinence chapter (12:25), less education actually leads to more unfavorable outcomes like teen pregnancy (respectfully, no diss to teen parents). The crazy part is that it’s like the right wants that exact thing. What you said in the Conservatives and Child Marriage chapter (11:38) highlights this perfectly. These n*ggas really tryna marry the girls off as pre-teens/teens! Great video, Kat.
The bits about sex not being necessary for love and that some people dont ever want it would have been so important for me to hear as a kid, teen and young adult.
People really are freaking out about books but then give the children phones were they can find endless pornography
If I had this book as a kid there’s a good chance that I could have prevented getting groomed as a teenager. Of course the pearl clutchers would be upset about this.
I saw a book almost exactly like this in a public library as a 4th grader. I read through it once alone , discussed it with no one, and found it very helpful. It did not illustrate LGBT content but mentioned it neutrally.
Wait as soon as you started reading the book, I realized that I actually read this book when I was 10! My church ran a sex-ed/sexuality course for different age groups, and at the end of the course they gave everyone this book and told our parents to have us read it. I remember that I was uncomfortable at times cause I didn’t really want to read it, but I am grateful that I read it because it helped me understand things about the world lol. So honestly I hope this book stays available to kids because it’s a great educational resource
Also, I sadly read the book a couple years to late after my experience with SA, but I feel like if I had read it before, I might have known enough to be able to say no, and that’s something I wish every kid knew was an option. This book is so important
Ok I just thought of another thing I want to add, because apparently I can’t ever shut up lmao.
I think the only reason why I was uncomfortable when reading it was because I read it alone, and my parents didn’t talk to me about it while I was reading, so I didn’t have anyone to go with to talk about the stuff I was reading. I’m still glad I read the book though, because of the education it gave me about stuff I would never learn going to school in the Deep South
That is so wonderful! :) I am curious, which denomination are you? :) 💜💙
@@elizabethyow1165 I’m Unitarian Universalist :)
Thank you for showing this book, Kat - I've just ordered a copy, in support of its creators. This is an important book that can & will save lives.
They are going to find out about sex eventually. I'd rather my kid find out through education rather than in porn like I did.
Same 🥲
SAME
I’m pretty sure I had this in my bookshelf as a kid. I remember flicking through some of the pages and specifically the one with the illustrations of people having sex and then closing the book and not reading it again. My guess is that my mom used it when having the talk with my sister or had intended to use it for me but didn’t. But honestly hearing what it says now I wish I had read it as a kid, it would have done so much to see representation of queer and trans people in sexual education as a young gay (and trans, but I didn’t know it at the time) person who felt very isolated in my Christian primary school where everything possibly adult or queer was too taboo to talk about.
I bought this book more than 20 years ago (before having kids), and I read it to my kids when they were old enough to start having questions about such topics.
It is an excellent book and I highly recommend it. This book presents information in a factual, non-judgmental, and engaging way. It's information that is relevant to kids' lives, and they deserve to know it.
There were a couple of points where I felt a little uncomfortable reading aloud -- and yet! -- it was always information that I agreed with and wanted my kids to know. The fact that I was just reading someone else's words off a page made it easier.
One thing people (mostly but not exclusively conservatives) seem really confused by is that it is good and appropriate to learn about and consume media about adult stuff before it is good and appropriate to do that stuff. Reading is not doing.
Yeah. Giving a kid a book about cars isn’t going to make them drive a car, and I don’t think there’s anything debatable about the above statement. Sex is not that different, is it?
I read this book when I was 11. I had just gotten my period and since my parents were not willing to speak about gender and sexuality in my house, I went online and searched for books that talked about sex education and this was one of the titles that showed up. I found a pdf online and read it on the steps in front of my school after class. I'm so glad that I had this book, that I chose to read it. The safe, nonjudgemental way it talked about desire and gender and especially sexual orientations was incredibly validating to me at that age.
thank you for covering this. i work as a library assistant for cass county public library in missouri, and we’ve been fighting the conservative outrage over this book for years. children deserve the language to name and know their body and what is happening to it.
My son recently turned 8. His school has a pretty good bodies and relationships curriculum, but I'll definitely consider buying this book too.
The main conversation that needs to be had is not *if* sex ed should be taught but *when* we should teach sex ed and at what levels. I remember learning about menstruation (and thus the first introduction to my body) with the other kids in my 5th-grade class, but by then, I had been sexually abused at least 15 times. Had my parents not been neglectful (and had access to the mental/physical care they still need) and I known language outside of "kissing" before the age of 12, that could have been reduced to zero. We can find different ways to educate youth about their autonomy and body parts appropriately, and it could easily be a continuous lesson throughout the years, getting into further detail as children get older.
The idea that educating autonomy and anatomy is "grooming children" sounds like a projection to me. One of the few reasons I can think of that would make someone be against this education is because it empowers youth with knowledge and words they otherwise wouldn't know, and that knowledge and vocabulary can be used to inform trusted adults of abuse. We cannot fully trust parents to introduce their children to these topics (as most abused individuals know their perpetrator), and banning the conversation is dangerous.
“We can not fully trust parents to introduce their children to these topics”?!!!!
Question: Since when do we get the right to usurp parental authority? …How is it okay for anyone to tell parents how to parent THEIR CHILD? Are you a parent? Would you like it if someone told you -“I know what’s best for your child more than you do?” Oh the arrogance of it all!! 🤪
Hi, I’m back now that I’ve watched the full video. Thank you so much for making this video, especially for really hitting home the fact that this knowledge is empowering for kids. I think that an additional point that made me change my mind from “this book might be TMI for a kid” to “actually, kids need to know this” is that kids often get exposed to ideas of sex WAY before they’re ready to have sex. Boys in my grade made jokes about and simulated blowjobs when we were 11 - at an age when I thought a “blowjob” meant drying your hair. I was sexually harassed by middle- and high-school boys on the street when I was 10 because puberty started early, and I wasn’t wearing a bra that day. I knew a kid who’d start yelling obscene things and mimicking women in porn when he was 9. More often than not, unfortunately, kids will be exposed to warped ideas of sex and sexuality way earlier than we’d like to think. That’s why sex education needs to start young. That way, at least we’d be able to give kids a safe environment to be equipped with the knowledge they need.
Thank you for this. I am a secondary school teacher in a different country and I try to teach my students about consent, sex, and different communication strategies among many other topics. And sometimes I think I am stepping out of what I'm supposed to do and I begin to have doubts. But this video really helped me. I am asexual and have never had sex, so my experience doesn't help me a lot when it comes to understanding what they need. This video showed me that I am doing the right thing, that starting from the beggining and focusing on the important things matters. That I shouldn't assume they know a lot just because they grew up with unlimited access to the Internet. Thank you for this, for sharing, for opening up. You are also beautiful and loved.
I read this book when I was a kid, it was actually written by my classmate's grandmother, and it was so comprehensive and taught me so much about myself and my body.
My teacher first gave it to us when she got pregnant so we could answer the question "where do babies come from" ourselves. There's different books for different age groups, the one for 4-6 year olds is 'it's not the stork' and doesn't go into as much detail as the other two books. It's easier for younger children to understand and is isn't explicit. Then there's the book 'it's so amazing!', meant for 7-9 year olds which goes into a bit more detail with the same information. Then there's this book, 'it's perfectly normal', which is meant for ages 10+, which goes into the most detail.
It's all informative and teaches kids about sex, sexuality, and their own bodies. It teaches about consent and body autonomy.
The fact that conservatives want to ban a book that is so beneficial in teaching a child these things in a way that is digestible is honestly mind boggling.
I approach it at my son's pace. If he's asking, he's ready to know, and I'd much rather him get the information from me than for him to go to someone who will either shame him for being curious or who will give him bad or harmful information like what i was taught. Heck, now I'm gonna get this book cause i think this is fantastic and does a better job at explaining so much more than i know how
growing up gay, all of the sex ed i was given (not nearly as much as anyone should be) would not as much as mention gay sex. the AIDS epidemic was over but i was still terrified of having any intercourse. and of course i also had no idea how to be safe while doing so. all of that on top of the internalized homophobia and homophobia i faced from other people was something i never want anyone to go through
French guy here, my parents bought me as a kid the Titeuf : Le guide du zizi sexuel, a guide for 9 y/o kids onward about body changes, feelings, sexuality, prevention etc... based on a very popular comic characters. I never was shocked or disturbed, it was a well made (and funny) book about those awkward questions we have as preteens. I'm glad I got to have a base level understanding of this topics, especially with parents not super at ease with the subject.
And as a fellow French, I never saw any discussion about "it's wrong to educate your children about that". I 100% agree about knowledge is power, and people with no power/knowledge are unfortunately easier to take advantage of.
I had a conversation with my dad about this, and his response to the guy who voted to allow 12 year olds to get married was simply a facepalm.
When children don’t understand something and are told not to do it, they’re more prone to try and do it so they can understand it and understand why they shouldn’t do it. Sex is a partial social construct therefore in order to fully understand it without being taught, you need a level of social awareness and social intelligence that children usually lack. An understanding of sex doesn’t come from simply experiencing that act itself.
Part of the problem with being a teenager, and being around other teenagers who are reaching sexual maturity, is NOT HAVING the language to verbalize your wants and needs, your boundaries, etc. You need to have had experience reading about it, talking about it, to feel comfortable enough to state your feelings on it.
You don't want your kids saying yes, simply because they don't know HOW to say no, right? So, please: talk to them. Give them a book like this. Print out brochures. Whatever. Do something to prepare them, because they will likely end up in situations for which having the language would be VERY helpful. Ignorance leaves people vulnerable.
Me and my siblings had a copy of an earlier edition of this book back in the early 2000s. My brother was at the start of puberty at the time which is probably why my parents bought it. I was still in kindergarten and struggling to learn how to read but I did look at the diagrams. If anyone's wondering, having access to a sex ed book at the age of 6 did not warp my mind in any way.