Being LGBTQ+ parents: Things we are excited about! ft.
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- Опубліковано 27 сер 2024
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So lovely to film with you! Thanks for having us xx
Hi Jamie! :D
Have a great week!
Hi Jamie! It's nice to "meet" you! You and Shaaba seem very sweet!
You are going to be an amazing dad, I hope you get the wholesome family that you both deserve. You never need to worry about explaining racr/sexuality/religion/orientation to kids, a lot of kids turn out a lot like their parents, so you should both have fine kid/s.
Omg Jamie! I didn't recognize you. You look great. Don't worry, you haven't forgotten me. I am one of your old viewers. I saw one of your first T videos several years ago. Congratulations on your upcoming marriage and parenthood!
I feel like saying something like "before I married your dad, I dated boys and girls" is an understandable way to approach bisexuality with small kids.
Edit: I have already been informed that this wasn't the case for Shaaba, I was just throwing out one idea for simple ways to talk about different identities with kids.
Zo it is if you have that past! afaik Shaaba has said she never dated anyone else before Jamie (they got together as teenagers), so in this specific situation it wouldn’t quite work 😅
I say that to my kids!
I think you could say "I like boys and girls, so I could have fallen in love with a boy or a girl (but when I met your dad I fell in love with him and we got married etc.)" if you hadn't dated before :)
my 5yr old is obsessed with marriage at the moment! When she initially learnt that me and her dad were married she said "Awwww! I wanted to marry you mummy!" when we talked some more, she thought about it and then said "actually, I'm going to marry myself!" whenever the subject comes up we've talked about being able to marry anyone (who isn't already married or a part of your family etc) it makes perfect sense in a 5yr old's world, if only it could for the rest of the world
I’m pretty sure shaaba didn’t realize she was bi until after she and Jamie got together but that could work in different situations
Jessica, I grew up with an ill mother and I just want to tell you that the only thing that matters is that you love your child. Love is the most important thing. I grew up with a healthy father who didn't love me and that hurt me so much. But my sick mother loves me more than anything and that meant everything to me
Exact same situation - completely agree with you - love trumps all!
Not quite the same situation here but I saw my grandmother every day and she was like a third parent to me and the way I saw it growing up (and still) is that we just both helped each other because that's what people who love each other do.
As a chronically ill mother this made me happy, thank you for sharing
As a chronically ill woman who wants kids in the future, this really made me feel better... thank you.. I always worry I won’t be enough
As long as the parent is emotionally available and loving most of the time. This is what is important.
This video taught me that Jessica can lip read just using her peripheral vision while also being blind in one eye. This woman is unstoppable.
She's probably actually using a mirror behind the camera, like in her other videos (she talked about that in a Q&A once). But I wouldn't be surprised if she's also talented enough to lipread with her peripheral vision LOL
I think she's looking at the camera monitor
So I'm adopted and there are still things that I "get" from my parents that I think make me who I am. Like I don't have my dad's eyes or my mom's nose but I have my dad's sense of humor or my mom's work ethic. Sure I don't look like my mom or dad but that's not what's important.
I'm also adopted and was about to make a similar comment. I knew my bio mom briefly (in adulthood) and am in contact with my deceased bio father's family and while I share some some physical characteristics and talents with them, I've reached the conclusion that I'm 75% my adoptive parents' child and 25% my biological parents child. (Thankfully)
I'm not even adopted and I look nothing like my parents (apart from the colour of my eyes) and don't act like them at all.
my sister is adopted and it's honestly wild how similar her personality is to her mother (my stepmom) and our older brother (who's fully related to just me)!!
Shaaba: You're Jessiesexual 😍
Claudia: That's not actually true, I am just gay.
😂😂😂
That was adorable of Shaaba to say, but I'm glad Claudia clarified she is truly gay; she keeps things real! :)
@@xzonia1 I think it is a bit of a jab at what Shabaa said once when trying to explain her sexuality and preferences, at the end not knowing how to describe her taste in men she went with "Jammiesexual" 😂
Ah, the joy of being a bilingual canadian: One of us is Mom/my, and the other is Maman, which is the french version.
My wife carried and is genetically related to both our daughters, but DAMN do I hear that they look like me. They copy so many expressions and manerisms from me, and by pure chance our youngest looks a whole lot like my dad, lol!
My niece's school has a boy who has long, flowing blond hair and wears only dresses, the more lace the better, but also clarifies that he doesn't want to be a girl, he just likes this. My niece and her friends all just laugh it off when someone calls him a girl "Oh no, silly! Luca's a boy!" with a smile, and go back to playing with him. It's the most chill gender expression I've ever seen, and gives me a real hope for gender freedom. My niece and kids play with him, and while we've had questions about "Why does Luca wear dresses?", it's always really easy to to answer honestly. "Because he likes them," and kids shrug and accept it.
Also: IT'S SO EXCITING TO THINK OF EITHER OF YOU HAVING KIDS!!! I mean, I'm just- I get a lot of joy from being a mom, and I just really hope you get to experience it too.
Both of my kids have some form of disability- my oldest is severely dyslexic and my youngest is hard of hearing, and it sounds super weird, but hear me out: I think it has added something to our relatonship. I've had to work very hard to understand my kids, and try to work out how their experiences are different from mine, and come to terms with the fact that they're both very different from me, just in how they think and interpret the world. I've done a lot of research, and talking to adults and teenagers with the same abilities and difficulties, and tried to see how my kids might see the world as they get older. My parents, siblings and I all speak 2 to 6 languages, so the dyslexia thing has actually been harder for me to understand than the deafness.
I have had to study alternative teaching methods for the one, and learn a sign language for the other, because I want to meet them on their terms, not just expect them to conform to my normal. And I think it's part of why my kids and I are so close, and my oldest is so trusting and open with me. She's opened up to me about things I NEVER would have told my parents when I was a pre-teen, and I'm amazed by it.
So.... anyway, um. If/when you guys have kids, please remember that even things that seem like difficulties, even huge differences between you, they're not the end of the world. They can be good for you both.
And that’s what makes an amazing mother!
Hi! I'm also bilingual Canadian! I have chilhood friends that had two fathers that had the same name ajd they fid the same: dad and papa.
I don't know if I want kids, but the bilingual parental titles are definitely an interesting option :)
"My parents, siblings and I all speak 2 to 6 languages, so the dyslexia thing has actually been harder for me to understand than the deafness." Does dyslexia impede someone's ability to learn spoken language? I've never heard of it doing so.
@@conlon4332 In extreme cases it can, as is the case with both my father-in-law, my wife and my oldest kid, who struggle with two.
@@nekkidnora Huh, shows what I know about dyslexia I guess. What part of it do they struggle with? Or is it not clear?
One thing is for certain: whether each of you are called 'mommy' or 'mama' or 'dad' or 'ma' by your future children ... ALL of you are going to make wonderful parents because of the love and compassion each of you have & are so willing to share.
Thank you all for participating in this video. I wish all of you, Jessica & Claudia and Jamie & Shaaba ... all the best on your journeys to becoming parents.
Lovely as always! 👍🤟💝
@@velvetindigonight Thank you 😊
On how to approach telling your kids if they’re adopted - my niece had two birthdays: the actual birthday and the gotchaday (both with presents of course)
did they call it gotchaday? if so, that is amazing
Oh my god, I plan on adopting potentially, and I’m definitely stealing the “gotchaday” because that’s bloody brilliant
I’m going to reply to this so that every time someone else replies I find this comment again.
@@jellyfishathogwarts me too great idea
@@jellyfishathogwarts just a reminder that this is here lol
I was raised by lesbian moms and it has been such a blessing to be part of a loving and inclusive family. I never had to "come out" to my parents the way most kids do-- I just informed them I was taking a girl to my eighth grade formal, and they took it in stride! I knew from the beginning that my parents would be accepting of me no matter what, and I also knew that my conception was very intentional, something not all kids can say. There will certainly be hard times, but as an adult now (well, I'm 20) I can say with complete confidence I wouldn't have wanted to be raised in any other kind of family! I think the best policy with talking to kids about this stuff is just to be honest with them from the beginning (they will certainly ask, as any kid would, about how they were born) although be wary -- I got in trouble when I explained to most of my kindergarten class what "sperm" was when asked how two moms made a baby...
Edit: Ps- I also called one of my moms "mommy" and the other "mama" growing up. Now I call "mommy" by her first name, mama is still mama :)
I copped out when my eldest was 5 and asked how someone could have 2 mummies by saying that they can adopt or use “parts” from a man to grow the baby.
I'm a lesbian raised by lesbians and I didnt realize I liked girls until I was 12 lol. I didnt fully come out as a lesbian until 17
Can’t relate lmao. I have straight parents and three siblings. All of us were unplanned. There’s no reason for people to say that lesbian or gay couples shouldn’t have kids when straight couples can’t even seem to figure out how contraception works
You seem to have amazing parents...i have straight parents and they would NEVER approve of me being lgbt+... They wouldn't even approve of me marrying a person of the opposite gender if he didn't belong to the same religion as they do (i like to think I'm atheist)... I'm so glad other people get to do what they want.... If i ever get a kid, I'll make sure to raise them as i wanted to be raised
I have straight parents but was IVF and it was always very comforting to know that I was deliberate and my mum had to spend like a year to get in shape and healthy with my dad to have me and had to pay for me. Of course it not on the same scale as other being raised by straight parents and being a biological child of both and there wasn't that much to explain to me but I never thought of being IVF or not being able to have children "normally" as being weird because ever since I can remember my parents have talked about it like it was nothing. I remember talking about with my parents in passing when I was like three how daddy's "tadpoles" were mixed with mums eggs in a dish and then put in mum lmao. It didn't occur to me till highschool that it wasn't something everyone thought was a "normal" thing when I was telling my parents I said to some friends I was IVF. They had to specifically tell me it wasn't something everyone was chill with since I went to a Catholic highschool. We aren't Catholic or religious and my primary school was public so it just never dawned on me that religious people also had an issue with other contraception methods.
Thanks for having us, always a pleasure to chat with you both! ❤
I grew up with a disabled mam and I can honestly say that love is the only thing that matters when raising a child. I don’t believe I had that different of a childhood to other children and I was always so proud when I had friends over and they’d say, ‘your mam is so lovely!’ Because she is, she’s so kind and caring and that overtakes any of the differences caused by disability. I also grew up knowing never to say slurs about disabled people, and when people would tell me ‘it’s just a word’ I’d reply it’s just a word that bullies used to yell at my mam when she was younger. I think it’s honestly made me a better person, I’m more understanding and compassionate because of it. The only real difference is me and my brother used to fight over which hand to hold when crossing the street, because her tendons would cause the right hand to squeeze too hard. But I look back on that and giggle now because neither of us knew our left from our right. I love my mam and I wouldn’t change my upbringing for anything in the world.
D'awwwwwww 😊😊😊
This is the CUTEST thing I've ever seen. Jessica just tackles her wife and I wanna yell it's so cute
Bird Demon when?
I’m 71 yrs old, my dad has been dead 40 years, and I still refer to him as daddy when speaking of him to my siblings. And yes, it sounds weird to me too. Old habits die hard.
We do that too but it sounds different when said with a heavy southern accent like we have.
I'm 33 and I lost my dad when I was 17. When he was alive I just called him dad, but when I talk about him now sometimes I say daddy (ex, "my daddy was in a band").
I don't think it's as weird as they said. It is mainly a way to show affection.
laceylouloulou i'm 17 and still call my parents mama and daddy. the southern in me won't die 😂😂
My mom and her siblings still say mommy and daddy. Its so sweet.
I could listen to Jessica talk forever. Her voice is like chocolate fudge icecream
*distant Bieber voice* yammy yammy yammy
Last year was my daughters 'first' pride. She was so excited. She has been to pride before but this year she was out and so it made it so much more special for her. She's 11
Aww! Late reply here but I’m so happy for you both 🥰
awww that's beautiful, hope you and your daughter are going well ❤❤❤
This just feel so inclusive, we have two interracial couples, one of which is a Lesbian couple, and one of the women being deaf and disabled. The other couple has a bi, trans man, with a bi, brown woman. It's awesome!
My mum is disabled and has sometimes questioned how well she has done as a parent, but she is the most amazing, loving, caring mum in the world and she has always showered me with love! I have grown up to become a good person thanks to her :)
I don't want to judge the way anyone raises their children (short of actual abuse or something) but I think it's totally sensible (but not necessarily the *only* sensible way!) to raise your children utilizing the pronounces associated with their assigned gender until they're old enough to start considering that part of their identity and tell you if you've got it wrong. I think I read in an advice column once that the suggestion to such a question by a parent was to treat the assignment of gender as, "This is what the doctor thought was the best guess for your gender when you were born, but the doctor might've been wrong and that happens sometimes, and all you have to do is let us know." Or... something along those lines. There doesn't have to be anything inherently awful or traumatic about discovering one is trans, if society didn't *treat* trans people in a way that is awful and trauma-inducing.
But basically, however anyone chooses to navigate that, if you unconditionally love your kids and do your best to give them all the options and education you can, you'll be well ahead of the game no matter how your children end up identifying. And all four of you are obviously going to be amazing parents!
I'm personally cis but this way to put it just warmed my heart so much, it would make it so much more easier to be accepting as well and help reconsider your own identity a little bit more, I really love that *-*
I'm cisgender but wow I love this
Reminds me of how simce most (older) gay people don't usually come out until their late adulthood, some tend to date younger gay people (those who came out at earlier age). And the age/generation difference alone could create a trauma or unhealthy relationship pattern in both parties. So if more and more gay people feel safe and comfortable in expressing themselves more at a younger age and with larger amount of peers their age to relate to, they'd more likely to actually date people their age and thus would lessen the un/conscious grooming or unhealthy aspect of the former kind of coupling.
I hope I expressed the thought decently, I'm sleep deprived so my English translating brain is kind of wonky.
Hey all. Just a quick note from an adoptive parent. We never had "to tell" the boys they were adopted. My Wife and I and our extended family never whispered it behind their back's. It has always been... Umm... out (sorry, I couldnt resist that).
I was going to come on here and say something similar although Im an adoptee, not an adoptive parent. There should never be a "sit them down and tell them" moment, it should just be part of their life story, just as the "birth story" is for children raised in their biological families. I cant remember ever NOT knowing that I was adopted......
(Adoptee here) my mom always used to tell me "I came from her heart not her tummy"
Hannah Brooks that is so sweet!!!
Kenneth Johnston im actually adopted myself. ive always known i was adopted, so it was never a shock
I may end up adopting someday and would think I would tell them for the beginning but I’m also a little confused as to how to do it. Like would you randomly bring it up or just when the kid mentions something about babies? What would you suggest if you were raising both a child that was biologically yours and one that was adopted ?
Jessica saying she wants the “ah” sound and mentioning Walter and I’m here with my Irish accent like “Walt -ER” very strong errr
oh man me too, I'm American and I guess I forgot about non rhotic accents lol
Me too with my Cornish accent
When she said Walter I was like UM SURE JESSICCA 😂
Jamie is so wholesome 😂 I died laughing about the nose miscommunication
That was so adorable!
My mother has ME, an undiagnosed auto immune issue and developed breast cancer last year (she's in remission, yay!). I'm still only in high school. Even though there were times when it was hard for me (and sometimes it still is) I love her so much and we have a very close relationship. Something I will say, is that (especially when I was younger) she was always trying to find things that we could do together that didn't drain her energy. One of them being baking!
How's your mom doing
I like how one word that exists in all of the languages (well, most that I've heard of at least) is "mama". Just pronounced somewhat differently.
I learn Chinese at school and I remember, the first class we had, our teacher says how to write and pronounce It. We write It like that “妈妈” and we pronounce It "mama". Everybody was surprised that this word was the same because Chinese seems to be really far to our "european" language. My teacher likes to explain us why words in Chinese are wrote like that, all the history/facts behind a word which is really interesting. His "theory" about the word "mama" is that the first thing a baby is able to say is the sound [ma] because it's very simple for him so in a lot of language (a majority I think) it's associated with the mom. I don't know if it was very interesting and I think there is a lot of mistakes (sorry, I'm french ^^) but I hope you enjoy :)
@Roxana Şanta 不谢
（You're Welcome :)
In come the Finns, with our word for mom being "äiti" xD We do have the word "mamma", borrowed from the Swedish word for mother, but in Finnish that has the connotation of a grandma or an otherwise old lady. Little babies usually start with something like "ätä" that develops into "äiti" :D (A small pronounciation guide, "ä" is said like the "a" in the front of "animal" in US English. The word "äiti" would be pronounced something like a-e-te :D )
@@elieli2893 haha I was about to say the same thing 😹
@@aliciap3649 You're right-- the first sounds babies make tend to be "ma" "ba" "pa" repeated, since they are quite easy for the mouth to make. Hence mama, baba, papa, etc.
Jessica looks like Ariel? That's amazing
Watching this after the Kellgren-Fozard family pregnancy announcement and I'm so freaking excited!!!!
"Names must end in er sound." Rupert. Nailed it.
I love the way claud talks, she looks always so secure and comfortable with herself and easygoing, i wanna be like claud when i grow up.
I had the experience of being raised by a single mom for the first 3 years of my life, then being adopted by cis-gendered straight parents, having that adoption fail after 3-4 years and then spending the rest of my childhood with lesbian parents (who had legal guardianship but didn't formally adopt til I was in my late teens).
The conversations I remember having with my parents were all shrouded in secrecy, during that time, lesbians were not really acceptable as parents and there was a very real fear of loss of career. I wasn't to say the anything about the home living situation to strangers, but most friends and all extended family members were aware that our home was what it was. I do remember when I was in my late teens it was more acceptable, Ellen had come out publicly and it was talked about more. I had a best friend who knew me most of my childhood/teen years who just thought my moms were roommates or friends, I had to actually tell her they were partners before she realized it. The one advantage I had with lesbian parents is that I knew I didn't have to worry about acceptance of my identity or sexuality, I wish more people could have that familial love that was truly unconditional.
-Everyone
“Lesbian”
lezzzzzzbian **
Dang, Jessica, you really impress me with how fast you're able to lipread in situations like this.
Jamie's delighted little face at "baby's first pride" I'm gonna cry 😭
Love this!!! I am a disabled mommy to our daughter and I have those days where I can’t get out of bed too. My wife will bring our daughter to me and we have a bed and cartoon day ❤️ My wife is the one who carried her and we chose a private donor who has a similar mix of ethnicities as me so she looks like me more often than she looks like my wife!!! It’s true that even if they aren’t biologically yours, they pick up so much from watching each parent and nurture wind out over nature! Love you all
You can 100% pick a doner with characteristics of your partner! For awhile I was with someone who was trans and that was my plan. On the flip side I look so similar to my other mother that people 100% of the time assume she is my biological mom. 😁
I’m a disabled child from a disabled mom (different disabilities though) and I am so thankful for having a disabled mom she showed me work ethic and that I can accomplish things even if I have to do them a different way to everyone else. I see her as powerful. Your kids will love you as long as you show them love too which both you and Claudia will. That’s all that is important.
Happened to me a lot that people sad, what a sweet boy I had. I then answered: „Oh, Lili, I didn‘t know you were a boy...“ I never picked colours most people do, but what I thought
suited my child. She loves vehicles, her first word was „ato“ (car in German) and she hates dolls (throws them around and just leaves them). I want her to grow up doing what she loves. I just want her to be happy.
All the best for you and your future:)
Reminds me of my little brother. As a baby and toddler he had veryyyyy curly hair and it was slightly long, he loved dressing up in my old dresses and wearing my accessories out on walks. A,ways got the “what a pretty baby girl!!” And everyone looked soooo surprised when we’d say he’s a boy
Lmao I just went "Wait, that's not what car is in German!" before I realized you spelled it phonetically the way a baby would say it
@@baguettegott3409 yeah, sorry:) but I thought it was too complicated to explain that all in one sentence without confusing everyone:)
@@baguettegott3409 my sleep-deprived is curious to know the actual spelling of the word.
@@cheesecakelasagna It just has an additional u in it. "Auto" :)
I love Jessica's dress sm in this ❤️
My wife and I have a 2 and a half year old daughter, mine biologically but my wife carried her. And we picked a donor that favored my wife so our baby is an incredible mix of the two of us. We’ve been told by many people that she looks like both of us. I’m Mommy (though sassy toddler insists on Mom) and wife is Mama. So far we haven’t encountered anything worse than “oh are you sisters?” “Who’s her mom?” And such. Easy enough to brush off and we aren’t shy about telling people we are married and she’s our child. But I do worry about how other parents and teachers will react once she’s in school, but keeping a positive attitude!
If the teachers are any good, they'll accept you and your kid.
@@LittleIcarus Yes. This is why it's very important to research/talk to potential school admin and inquire their sensitivity training level.
There are times when my mom can’t get out of bed. It just means that everyone around has to step up. No matter how ill my mom gets she still loves us.
I was adopted by my step dad who I call Dad. When acquaintances find out that my mom's three kids have two different biological fathers my sister is always the one they think is not my Dad's biologically. It just turns out that my sister looks just like my mom and my other sister and I look like Dad.
I also have a disability and have had over 40 surgeries. My family always donates blood for me when I have to have major surgery. Out of my Mom, Dad and biological father, Dad's blood matches mine the best. We have zero DNA connection but when I need blood to save my life, it's his blood I receive.
I loved this so much! Aside from being adorable, I found so much value in it. My husband and I both identify as LGBTQ+ and have straight privilege and are in an interracial relationship and I related to Jamie and Shabba loads. Also, we’ve yet to think about what we want to be called as parents and now I’m genuinely looking forward to that conversation.
"where's daddy today?"
"We're daddy"
“Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly.” Charles Addams.
Xandra Garrison
good point. I guess they’re expecting at work”? but it could easily be “he died before they were even born” or “funny thing, I killed him just this morning”
Fun fact: all female names in Poland end with "a".
In Portugal too 😊
Czech too!
Interesante
Karolina Markowska I work with loads of Poles and never picked up on that before!
Isn't that in Russian too?
I feel like rather than having to come out as bi, I’d teach them not to assume anyone is only attracted to the gender they are with. Like other people’s mommy’s aren’t necessarily straight either. So if I drop a story about an ex girlfriend one day, they’d just get that? Idk
And now Jessica and Claudia are having a baby!
Baby name suggestions:
Jeremiah, Elijah, Zara, Monica, Dominica, Hannah, Joharah, Emma, Thalia, Hypatia, Lilia, Calia/Callia, Jonah, Luella, Mariposa, Micah, Jasmina, Aura, Aurelia, Arissa/Alissa.
This was an amazing vid! Any Kellgren-Fozard child is blessed with you as parents. Much love, Jocara.
Claudia saying “transparent” at 15:55 didn’t get any reaction whatsoever... the pun y’all! The PUN!
Jessica : the dress, the necklaces, the belt, the headband AND the makeup, you absolute goddess
Interesting point at the end about Jamie’s mom being told she was adopted at 3-4. I was told around 7, maybe younger and it shattered my world for some reason. I don’t know if I fixated on it or what but for my entire childhood, teen years and even early adulthood- I was in this dark mindset of “unwanted,” “given away” “unplanned”.... and as a 30 year old, obviously now I can comprehend the complexities but I often wonder if I had been told older... like late teens even... if it would have been processed differently ? I don’t know 🤷🏼♀️ just a thought. (*oh and my parents were great. Loved them, good upbringing, they were my biggest cheerleaders of me being an artist💜. My mom passed away of complications from an auto immune disease and then i was diagnosed with ME/CFS, so this channel has been a lovely thing in my live)
I love how proactive y'all are about the big issues you'll face, and the questions you're likely to get. You're so thoughtful and considerate, and it's lovely. Adoption/fostering is the only way my wife and I can have children, but we haven't put near as much thought into it as the group of you.
For Jessica: Lydia, Casper (one of my students is legally changing their name to this, and I am so proud of them), Amelia, Sarah, Juila, Briar, Oscar. (Oscar is one of my favorite names, thanks to the Rose of Versailles anime - and it can be a boy's or girl's name)
Upvote but I'm biased 😂
I think you're all going to be amazing parents!
A bit of personal opinion as someone who is adopted at birth, I hope that you're able to have an open adoption. It may be strange for your kid to have a connection of some sort with their birth parents, but it's also extremely important because a lot of adoptees can be resentful towards being adopted. It's a slippery slope. My adopted family always made me feel like my birth family was my extended family, I knew who my birth mum was, but I was never forced into communications with them. It ended up that I became close friends with my half-sister and my nieces and nephew. It was always my choice, and a lot of adoptees openly discuss how fostering connections like this is extremely helpful towards their long term mental health. It also allows adoptees to ask questions about genetics and other possible medical concerns that otherwise is a giant blank.
My husband and I recently became foster parents. Our first placement was harder than we ever could have imagined. His physical and emotional needs were far too great for any two people. And since I'm the parent who is home for the most hours by myself, I was easily overwhelmed. I went 12 hours without food, drink, or restroom. We got very little sleep and absolutely no downtime. Ultimately we had to move him to another foster home where there were 4 adults available who could take turns with him. Be upfront about your needs and abilities when it comes to fostering. Don't let the foster system match you with a child beyond those because a failed placement hurts the child the most.
When I came out (as bisexual) to my 14 year old, he came out right back! And as my baby making days are behind me (sniff!) I gift you my two favourite girls names: Minerva (goddess of wisdom and war, nickname Minnie) and Aurora (goddess of the dawn, nickname Rory) - and no, of course I'm not googling sex selective IVF in Cyprus, whatever gave you that idea??! Oh, and I like the idea of giving a gender-neutral middle name, in case a child ever wants to use it. X
I think having second names is very essential. I honestly don't know how older generations endured so many namesakes. No wonder they developed a lot of rabbithole-y nicknames.
First : Awww
Second : It's a discussion I've been having with myself, seing people being concerned and self conscious about not being a biological parents, seing the fantasied searches for the biological 'parent' in reality and literature and media. Sometimes even donors? And terms such as 'real parent' or 'real mom' thrown around carelessly. How many babies are born of people not wanting to be parents because I don't know making the baby is somehow more important than whether said baby will actually be able to have minimum stability and safety and love.
It's not somethings that will heal in a day. An entire system of beliefs distilled in ourselves. And 'real', and 'biology' and 'genetics'.
Anyway my point is that's bull. Making a baby, hell even't giving birth isn't what makes you a parent. Giving away some genetic material either but that one is a little bit more obvious. What makes you a parent isn't how you acquired your child (don't steal babies though) it's what comes after. On an other hand, a person could end up with more than two parents in their life, that will not make any of the parents any lesser. There are more than one way to have a baby or a child. None is lesser.
“Broody” from my upbringing means like, holding a grudge and being moody. It was a good bit into this video before I understood it meant babycrazed 🤣
Yeah, like a chicken. You have heard that of chickens, right? That's where it comes from, when a chicken wants to sit on eggs and 'brood' them. The google definition of brood as a verb in that context is "(of a bird) sit on (eggs) to hatch them.
" That's where it comes from.
i think the word you're referring to is actually "brooding" which, yes, definitely has a different meaning!
I definitely thought the same thing! It took me a while to figure out what they meant
yeah brooding is different to broody. You may even hear someone refering to their kids as their 'brood', it just means their offspring
It's a phrase used for a chicken being obsessive over it's clutch of eggs
Jessica and Jamie's post notifications landed in my email at almost the same time, so I put off going to the market so I could watch. I adore colabs, but especially from 2 of my favorite fangirl couples.
"I'll only consider names that end in an 'ah'."
*Names son Rupert*
I love seeing my favorite UA-camrs/ UA-cam couples in the same video(s) together, especially so soon! You four are absolutely amazing!!!
My kids call both of their grandpas “papa” or “papa bear” and it makes my heart happy.
Katerina (Katarina, Caterina, Catarina),
Veronica,
Rosalia,
Maria,
Davina,
Clara,
Leia,
Pamela,
Johanna,
Bianca,
Elena,
Sabrina,
Esmeralda.
Edit: It might not seem many to you, but I don't think I've ever gotten this many likes, thank you so much! I feel so proud of myself that over 25 people liked it, and not only that but people are also using my comment to add names they can think of, and with the replies it's becoming a real collection! I've seen this happen, but it's never happened to me before, that my comment is a place to add your own thoughts, not just direct responses to what I said.This is amazing!
+ Alina :)
A lot of these I have heard of from programmes:
Katerina - The Vampire Diaries
Veronica - Riverdale
Rosalia - my friend's name (her mum's Italian, she's generally called Rosi)
Maria - that one I just generally knew of (as a continental version of Mary)
Davina - The Originals
Clara - Doctor Who
Leia - Lost And Found Music Studios
Pamela - that is one of my middle names (and my grandmother's name, though she was always called Pam)
Johanna - that's my name
Bianca - Maggie And Bianca: Fashion Friends
Elena - The Vampire Diaries
Sabrina - Chilling Adventures Of Sabrina
Esmeralda - Dani's Castle (she was normally called Esme).
Regina or Emma
I believe this is a somewhat made up name but friend’s name is Esmerina 😍
Not remotely relevant to the discussion but I have a friend, also named Jamie who looks SO similar to Jamie in this video, and his nickname was also Jammie Dodger, the dodger part was he was pretty agile on the football pitch when we used to play as children!
I love these discussions, I hope it’s helping a lot of people challenge their own beliefs and misconceptions around being a member of LGBTQI+ or disabled.
Yes folks, we really do just live our lives just like everyone else ☺️
I’d love to see more of you 4 in discussions together once it’s safer for all to do so!
This was so heartwarming, I worry a lot about how I’ll be as a gay mom and stuff that I’ll have to overcome and this made me feel better thank you :)
LOVE when you guys do videos together! 4 of my faves in one place 🥰
That's so interesting about the ending in "A" names because my sisters and I do that, too. Celena, Briana, and Kiara. Must just be a more feminine thing to do
My sister was adopted before I was born(she's 4 years older), and it was always just a part of our family story. A lot of the "explaining" comes up very naturally with kids, even when they are quite young. I always knew the story of my parents picking her up from the hospital when she was just a couple days old, already holding her head up to look right at them.
I've been working as a full time nanny for most of the last decade and in my experience kids understand way more than we give them credit for, it's just about adjusting the way you tell something to fit their cognitive abilities, while still maintaining honesty. They accept things much easier than most adults I know.
I am disabled as well and I recently made the choice to stop working in childcare largely because of my limitations, and one of my biggest fears of becoming a parent is that I won't be able to be there for my kids in the ways I want/I feel they deserve. So, I heavily empathize with what you said about that aspect Jessica. 💜
As a new momma struggling with my own disabilities, I can relate to the concern. I am not going to tell you how to parent but if you can find information on a parenting style called Circle of Security, it gave me the hope, courage, and knowledge on how to parent when I can’t always be 100%. I wish you all the very best on your journeys! An inspiration to those of with similar struggles.
"A child would pick up on weakness" 😂😂😂 that child sounds like a hunter
I relate to Jamie's social awkwardness SO HARD, like, Jamie, I wanna hug you!!
Didn't know how much I needed this colab til I saw it, very nice! Delighted to see there's more!
My mom is chronically ill as well and her love for me has never faltered. I have never thought of her as caring for me any less, even when she can’t get out of bed. We’ve had so many lovely days of being snuggled up in her bed watching movies together. Love is what you can give.
regarding gender and kids - as a nonbinary person it really appeals to know there are kids out there being raised totally neutrally, including with not gendered pronouns and whatnot. i definitely think that parents, even without neutral pronouns, can successfully make it clear to kids that their presentation and expression is free and not bound by gendered expectations if they are sufficiently assertive about it. i don't think being raised with they/them pronouns would make a kid wonder if there was something wrong with identifying with the gender expected of their ASAB, society does a pretty thorough job of showing people what the supposed default is
The four of you are a hoot together! This was lovely to watch. Thank you for the bright spot.
Everyone who gets pregnant the "old fashioned way" is confused about how the rest of us make babies, regardless of what genders our pairings are. When that life phase happens please find a support group or group of friends who are on a similar path of yours, it makes the process a lot easier 💚
OMG! My two favourite UA-camrs and their partners in one video 💗💗💗
My son has the cutest curls and delicate features, and even at 6 he gets mistaken for a pretty little girl even when wearing typically masculine clothes, so I had to laugh when Jessica said, "it's a girl, but sure, whatever." I feel you, Jessica.
❤️❤️❤️ families are created in so many ways and children having parent/s who love them is what matters. Can’t wait to follow your journey to parenthood.
Love Claudia so much in the statement that if their child said something homophobic you have to understand that is natural rebellion. Love your children as you’d want to be loved being different than your own parents. I am learning as a parent each video, thank you for your content and honesty!
I am Chinese and I was adopted into a mixed Chinese/Caucasian family (my family is not from the same part of China I was born in). My parents always told me I was adopted, from the time I was an infant. It was like a bedtime story for me, and I just understood that that was how I came to be. It took me a little while to grasp that not everyone was adopted. But it provided a very smooth transition, because I never needed a serious sit down talk about how my parents weren't my "biological parents". My parents also got me picture books about adoption, which I think helped me understand a lot about it too
There is no doubt that you WILL all be amazing parents. I wish you all the best in your journey to and through parenthood.
Being a disabled parent is hard, but it's inherently clear how many amazing people are in your life to help and support. I became a single parent, for the second time, two years ago and it was the support of friends and family, and then my new partner, which made a huge difference. My kids know I'm ill, the eldest finds it harder as I became more ill throughout his childhood so he had to adapt. My pregnancy with my youngest was the catalyst for some of the getting worse so he's not really had to adapt, it's all he's known. Kids are amazing and remarkably able to take things in their stride. You'll, all four of you, clearly make amazing parents - The excitement about parenthood is beautiful
I am a mom that lives with chronic illness. It sucks. But I have seen how compassionate my children are. My kids were a little older when I started really getting sick, so our situations will be a little different. You all will be awesome parents!!!
There’s no doubt your kids will be so lucky to have you has parents Jessica and Claudis, you both have so much they can learn from and be such precious little hoomin beans!
I grew up with a disabled mom and trust me even if she had days/weeks/months she was ill I still knew she was there for me ☺️ it didn’t affect my upbringing in any way that she wasn’t there physically all the time, but she’s always there to talk to me 🥰
Honestly, you're all just going to be the absolute BEST parents and I am SO EXCITED FOR YOU ALL
watching this video knowing that jess and claude were trying for a baby at the time is so lovely
The term "Nature or Nuture" springs to mind when you discuss mannerisms and personality traites (etc...) and they way children evolve as individuals.
My ex partner had 2 children by insemination by donor, we both worked towards this together. We knew the donor, and his whole family got involved. It was really great, and meant that both of them had contact with all their uncles, aunties, and their grandmother on his side, as well as his partner. It meant that they both had a very firm family base, until we split up ( another story altogether.....after 16/7 years together) when they were 6 & 3.
My mum is (less severely disabled) but social services were following us a bit to see if she'd be fine. She did such a splendid job that no one showed up for my brother. My mum is black and my dad is white, I never questioned it or my mum's disability, you're born into it, it's just your normal. I just remember drawing my mother as a stick figure in kindergarten and drawing her with 5 fingers on one hand and 3 on the other, the teacher tried to challenge it but I was insistent that I was right 😂. I also learned my left and right using my mother's arms (this is mum's arm so this is the right...). Fantastic parents really
My favorite UA-camrs in a video together!!
You’re all gorgeous 😍❤️
I think we all want to be adopted by Momma Jessica and Mommy Claudia ❤️ (If you're looking for a 19yr old gnc american to adopt hmu)
Me too ( 20yr old Indian)
The only good part of being sick is being early to a Jessica video
SAME
Feel better soon!
I'm a disabled parent, with a chronic, incurable vasculitis mainly affecting my brain. My daughter is 5yrs old now. We had her after we'd been married for over 15 years, we thought we'd never become parents. She's bloody fantastic, but we went through heaven and hell from her birth up till about the age of 2. It's still not easy but it's the best thing we ever did. I always call her my "best craft project ever!" lol I'm a Bi cis woman and my husband is a straight cis man. We always just dressed her in whatever we thought looked awesome/cute/practical etc - as much rainbow clothing as humanly possible! She also didn't really grow any hair until she was 18 months old, so until about 2 and a half we always had "what a cute little chap!" etc and one elderly man told me off for 'confusing' him by dressing her in a baseball cap! Oh yes, dear sir, my clothing choices for my daughter are driven purely by a desire to confuse you. She has always had access to all types of toys / themes / books / clothing for children. At our first parents evening at school this year (I still squee at that! never expected parents evenings in our life!) her teacher told us that she was absolutely happy drawing, making things, reading, playing with toy cars, building with lego etc, she didn't feel restricted. That is all we ever wanted for her. She loves football in the playground and in equal measure My Little Pony. I just love that she feels free to explore. She has occasionally come home from nursery and said "that's for boys" or "that's not for girls" etc. We've always just sat and talked about why she said that and how any child can play with any toy etc. It always saddens me when I see/hear an adult telling a child that their behaviour is not appropriate for their gender. I feel pretty mad about it really. I feel blessed that I was given the same freedom by my parents and I credit my love of sci-fi movies with big explosions to them heehee Parenting with a disability is hugely hard, but bloody wonderful. Parenting is just hard fullstop. I wish you all HUGE luck and love on your parenting journeys :D x x x
MY FOUR FAVOURITES IN ONE VIDEO💕💕💕
It brings me such joy to see these beautiful people (inside and out) chatting so openly and positively about such subjects. Love this wholesome side of youtube.
Anyone else find it really funny that they kept going on about the babies name ending with an uh sound then they picked Rupert.
yes.
My friend is adopted, and has several non adopted siblings. Her parents had a tradition on each childs bday to tell them their birth story and in her case her adoption story. Since this started at age 1 it was just a very normal thing. She has no memory of being told she was adopted it was just how things were, and has expressed that the truth of how she entered the family being very normalized and not a secret was healthy for her. Just an idea. ♥️
Jessica I had absolutely No idea you two had your own children !!! Congrats !!! That's Awsome !!! Blessings to you and yours !!! Happy Easter and almost st Patrick's day !!!
Hi, they don't at the moment, they are hoping it happens this year.
I'm SO content with this collab. I can't express this enough!!!!
Jessica wanting a baby name that ends with an “uh” and they have a beautiful little boy called Rupert now.
Jess, sabrina is a lovely name, and it fits your criteria!!
Totally agree!!
@@sabrina-wq4uu sabrina's United lol
My fave gays!
Also I was raised by disabled parents and despite the obvious cons, I think it gives me a different perspective on general things. Also since I'm disabled my parents know better what I need and what my experience is. So basically disabled parents has pros n you seem like you'd be a good mum.