Today I'll be speaking of the myth of completion: what it is and where it comes from. I argue that belief in the idea of completion is something of a perceptual artifact, an unintended consequence of a certain point of view. From the perspective of an observer, things end; however, from the perspective of a creator, nothing ever ends. There is just the decision to move on. The repercussions for relationships are also discussed. Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com
Fascinating. You are excellent at explaining concepts. Your work helps me a lot, thank you. “Relationships are never finished, people just decide to stop working on them” - Love this
People don't stop talking about relationships these days but I think this video applies perfectly even if you focus more on working than on your love life, particularly if you have a destructive perfectionism.
This is helpful to me as I apply it to my own life. The feeling of could I have done more, said just the right thing, or not done or not said the apparantly wrong things as judged by the outcome of estrangement and loss. Your pointing out that there's a point where you simply have to leave it as is and move on is comforting and freeing.
Finally videos that address the inner workings of things rather then ring around the rosey. Thank you Dr. I'm going to tell my friends and family to watch your videos...
This message resonate with me a lot! I feel that I drop many things uncompleted, your video helped me to realize that's my perspective as "creator". Than you for your work!
This is true. I always say that nothing truly ends it just sometimes is paused. How many times have people been separated at birth, or quit speaking, only to make amends years later? Plenty. During the lull it might appear to the observer that " its over" but it's a pause. Sometimes the person hits ' play' again on the video, sometimes they don't. But either way, it's just paused. Its like ' closure' its just a perception. In the words of John Rambo in first blood " nothing is over, you just don't turn it off"
I appreciate your honesty. Repentance is a requirement of God and people should want to live right. You did the right thing and I don't hate you. But, people do what's best for them and I do what's best for me. I enjoy not having friends. God bless you.
The four stages/cycle in the metamorphosis of a butterfly nevertheless it's evolving. One flew into my mouth when I was younger and I swallowed it. I remember screaming and crying it was some what dramatic. Haha! My friends and I would hangout at graveyards alot and contemplate what it means to die and just life itself. I've always felt that their was an essence or consciousness of the human life that never dies even without the body. So things are constantly evolving even after death the body, mind, soul essance etc. Life is for sure intresting and mysteries.
I was brought up in this completion/perfection bias and it fucked me up. Over time I started realizing that most things won't be perfect and can't be completed in life. My ex-boyfriend, however, has this bias. He would set goals and he and I have to finish it, and if I can't, he would rather compromise my peace and he always ignore my wishes. He thought that me agreeing to entering the relationship is the end-all-be-all, and he fell to see that if the relationship caused me more pain than peace and pleasure, I would opt to leave. I eventually decided to move on to the next chapter of my life without working it out with him.
I think this is definitely true of relationships. Even in many of the worst case scenarios where it looks completely over, the most random events can bring people back together again in some capacity. I'm not a believer in evolution because I think it goes against the very constitution of our being, in that our organs can only work together if they're at a level of maturity. Our bodies are created to operate in cycles of completion; evolution is too random. My view is that in nature, things definitely do come to completion such as the conception-pregnancy-birth process, puberty, baby teeth to adult teeth and even the four seasons of the year.
Having worked on a large number of projects in my life I can say that this is partially true, but that is just depending on the thing. Even if you think something is complete others might want to add more to it or think that it might be better if it had less of something.
I both agree and disagree. From one point of view nothing is perfect, from another - everything is perfect. So then maybe it depends on who is watching and what perfect means to them. For some reason i am sure nobody will ever be able to get to the bottom of what perfect is for them. Because every time i go down that rabbit hole i end up realizing that nothing is perfect. It is what it is. The only logical thing to do then abandon the word perfect completely because it has 0 meaning. It doesn't describe anything. The same goes for complete. If nothing is really complete, then abadon the word, stop using it, it doesn't mean anything. Remove the word, the need for completeness will go away and maybe at last people will be happy with the Life and its rprprocesses that were not meant to be maken sense of.
I disagree completely! I look relationship as a book when I read the book I close the cover and give it away to somebody else or I bring it to the library but I don’t read it again and for me it’s a finish story that’s how I look at relationship who didn’t work. Like: this love story is finished or like a movie, which always has a beginning and an end. For me, it is also like dying if somebody died when the relationship doesn’t work out. I usually don’t have contact with men with whom I had a relationship once but many times I experienced that ex boyfriends contact me again, but I wouldn’t have done it ever because it was like a book, which I already read it and don’t have to read it again. I never read a book twice or three times but there are some movies. I watched many times the movie Gandhi, three or four times with the actor Ben Kingsley. I was very impressed and inspired by this politician and how good Ben Kingsley acted. If ex partners meet again, and start a new relationship, it’s usually on off relationships, but they don’t work it out, except they really love each other and do the best to make it work together
Today I'll be speaking of the myth of completion: what it is and where it comes from. I argue that belief in the idea of completion is something of a perceptual artifact, an unintended consequence of a certain point of view. From the perspective of an observer, things end; however, from the perspective of a creator, nothing ever ends. There is just the decision to move on. The repercussions for relationships are also discussed.
Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California.
Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others.
See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations.
Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com
Fascinating. You are excellent at explaining concepts. Your work helps me a lot, thank you.
“Relationships are never finished, people just decide to stop working on them” - Love this
Glad to hear the channel is helping you, Jasmine.
People don't stop talking about relationships these days but I think this video applies perfectly even if you focus more on working than on your love life, particularly if you have a destructive perfectionism.
Yes -- I'm a perfectionist in recovery. So I understand how much of a trap it is.
My art teacher in college said that "No work of art is ever finished. They just stop at an interesting place."
This is helpful to me as I apply it to my own life. The feeling of could I have done more, said just the right thing, or not done or not said the apparantly wrong things as judged by the outcome of estrangement and loss. Your pointing out that there's a point where you simply have to leave it as is and move on is comforting and freeing.
Finally videos that address the inner workings of things rather then ring around the rosey. Thank you Dr. I'm going to tell my friends and family to watch your videos...
Short, but very important and powerful message
This message resonate with me a lot! I feel that I drop many things uncompleted, your video helped me to realize that's my perspective as "creator". Than you for your work!
This is true. I always say that nothing truly ends it just sometimes is paused. How many times have people been separated at birth, or quit speaking, only to make amends years later? Plenty. During the lull it might appear to the observer that " its over" but it's a pause. Sometimes the person hits ' play' again on the video, sometimes they don't. But either way, it's just paused. Its like ' closure' its just a perception. In the words of John Rambo in first blood " nothing is over, you just don't turn it off"
If we just held on to this ONE truth, we would realize the nature of everything and free ourselves from ALL of our internal myths.
I appreciate your honesty. Repentance is a requirement of God and people should want to live right. You did the right thing and I don't hate you. But, people do what's best for them and I do what's best for me. I enjoy not having friends. God bless you.
The four stages/cycle in the metamorphosis of a butterfly nevertheless it's evolving. One flew into my mouth when I was younger and I swallowed it. I remember screaming and crying it was some what dramatic. Haha! My friends and I would hangout at graveyards alot and contemplate what it means to die and just life itself. I've always felt that their was an essence or consciousness of the human life that never dies even without the body. So things are constantly evolving even after death the body, mind, soul essance etc. Life is for sure intresting and mysteries.
"art is never finished, only abandoned."
I was brought up in this completion/perfection bias and it fucked me up. Over time I started realizing that most things won't be perfect and can't be completed in life. My ex-boyfriend, however, has this bias. He would set goals and he and I have to finish it, and if I can't, he would rather compromise my peace and he always ignore my wishes. He thought that me agreeing to entering the relationship is the end-all-be-all, and he fell to see that if the relationship caused me more pain than peace and pleasure, I would opt to leave. I eventually decided to move on to the next chapter of my life without working it out with him.
Words of wisdom. Thanks Dr Taraban
You either talk or get ghosted. If you don't hear from them for a week or two, or they don't respond.They found something that works better
This is great to keep in mind
I think this is definitely true of relationships. Even in many of the worst case scenarios where it looks completely over, the most random events can bring people back together again in some capacity.
I'm not a believer in evolution because I think it goes against the very constitution of our being, in that our organs can only work together if they're at a level of maturity. Our bodies are created to operate in cycles of completion; evolution is too random. My view is that in nature, things definitely do come to completion such as the conception-pregnancy-birth process, puberty, baby teeth to adult teeth and even the four seasons of the year.
Having worked on a large number of projects in my life I can say that this is partially true, but that is just depending on the thing. Even if you think something is complete others might want to add more to it or think that it might be better if it had less of something.
Very well spoken. Thank You
You're a relationship genius
thank you, very helpful.
That’s really true
Philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer argued that Nature cannot be considered a "whole"--hence, no completion.
I both agree and disagree. From one point of view nothing is perfect, from another - everything is perfect. So then maybe it depends on who is watching and what perfect means to them. For some reason i am sure nobody will ever be able to get to the bottom of what perfect is for them. Because every time i go down that rabbit hole i end up realizing that nothing is perfect. It is what it is. The only logical thing to do then abandon the word perfect completely because it has 0 meaning. It doesn't describe anything. The same goes for complete. If nothing is really complete, then abadon the word, stop using it, it doesn't mean anything. Remove the word, the need for completeness will go away and maybe at last people will be happy with the Life and its rprprocesses that were not meant to be maken sense of.
wise
👍🏻
F*cking BRILLIANT 🫂💎🎶💛💪💞🙌✌️🇦🇷🌳🤗🌹🐧😏🙏🌈💋😎🙌⚛️👍
I disagree completely! I look relationship as a book when I read the book I close the cover and give it away to somebody else or I bring it to the library but I don’t read it again and for me it’s a finish story that’s how I look at relationship who didn’t work.
Like: this love story is finished or like a movie, which always has a beginning and an end. For me, it is also like dying if somebody died when the relationship doesn’t work out. I usually don’t have contact with men with whom I had a relationship once but many times I experienced that ex boyfriends contact me again, but I wouldn’t have done it ever because it was like a book, which I already read it and don’t have to read it again. I never read a book twice or three times but there are some movies. I watched many times the movie Gandhi, three or four times with the actor Ben Kingsley. I was very impressed and inspired by this politician and how good Ben Kingsley acted.
If ex partners meet again, and start a new relationship, it’s usually on off relationships, but they don’t work it out, except they really love each other and do the best to make it work together
thanks for the mindf*ck Dr
As soon as I heard evolution I turned off and tuned out
y ?
Most ignoramuses do.