Slippery Slope that CAN either help you guys Lock In, or make you give up 1) "Relationship Dynamics" by Hawaiian Libertarian 2) "Just Get It" by Rational Male 3) "Amused Mastery" by Rational Male 4) "Command Presence" by Rational Male
@n8-j722 Thank you, but no thank you. I've long since quit dating and dedicated my life to my hobbies. My mental health has never been better and I'm not willing to risk it again. Hopefully someone finds them useful, though.
Yeah, especially since relationships and intimacy are such big topics and seem to be such a big part of people's lives. Meanwhile, my life is completely devoid of any such things(appart from thinking about it and being sad lol)
I was a virgin until I got married. I got married at 22 and met my wife when I was 20. I was mid-way through college and I literally had no experience with anyone. We've been married 11 years. All of my friends who slept around in high school have been divorced.... sometimes more than once. I'm only 33 and despite having started the latest... I currently have the longest relationship of anyone I know in my age group. Sleeping around in high-school is not really that great... and omg no... people in college have no idea what the actual eff they are doing. LOL!! They want to act superior but most of them are total morons in bed. I wouldn't sweat it.
@r.d.6290 Every risk taking endeavor involves successes and failures, better to try and fail than to live in failure without any risk of success. Romantic relationships are not for everyone. But you should at least give it your all. If you comment on people who've had success stories with two word idioms, like "survivor bias" you're kind of in the "romantic love may not be for you" category. You have to... have some self belief... for any encouragement to affect you in a positive manner. Getting to college as a virgin is something I lived and yes I did survive and became a father of three later with a 10+ year stable marriage. But I was always hopeful and I let encouragement work the way it should. I was never a dead in the eyes cynical beta-male with an attitude problem and the sensitivity of a small toddler, as your comment suggests about your character.
3, 7, 14, 21, 25 these are the years when divorce is most likely. I truly hope things work out for you just don't forget marriage is an uphill battle and you're Sisyphus.
"Cant even imagine someone wanting me like that." Yeah. Hate to admit it, but it just doesnt magically happen for a lot of people. The one time it looked like it might, it blew up in my face and gave me emotional trauma for a decade.
I legit have no idea how people end up in relationships. So many guys just casually mention having a wife like it's normal, and I've never even had a girlfriend. I don't know how it works.
Every time I see a woman obviously being attracted to a man, I'm subconsciously so confused like "wait... it goes the other way around as well?" Even though I know that, of course it does, but seeing it still feels unreal to me. And the thought of that ever happening to me is very hard to believe, probably because it hasn't happened in the last 23 years.
I refused to keep trying at 16. I'm 32 now, I live alone and I'm kinda used to it. I did turn down some relationships that were about to happen. I'm comfortable alone, don't want someone to abruptly alter and modify what it took so hard for me to build (my lifestyle and preferences.) I know what I'm missing on, and I know I'm probably broken inside, but I've made my decision. My big brother and my best friend both have a child and are married. My only company is my lil sis visiting from time to time, she is slowly starting to date, and I'm all for it. She is the type to find happiness through love. Soon enough I'll be completely alone, and it will probably set my priorities on stone. There are other things in life to enjoy instead of relationships and people. Things more easy to find, more controllable, less chaotic and destructive, but at the same time not so rewarding in the long run. However, I do like the peace and quiet of an empty - silent room. In fact I'm kinda addicted to it, and I desire it as soon as I find myself in any other environment.
16 is too young to give up and too young to judge what a real relationship is like and whether it’ll be as bad as you think it’ll be. Now you’re 32 it’s time to stop being selfish and find someone to share your life with, think about that for a bit
@@liteknight What I meant by giving up was that I decided to stop engaging in the whole courting and partner-seeking hassle and focus on myself. Am I being selfish? Of course I am, it's my own life and I put a huge value on it. I'm not gonna give it away to the first woman who finds me half decent, and I'm not gonna waste years of my precious life (and limited sanity) searching everywhere for eyes who can appreciate my true colors. In case you want to know why I quit dating at 16: You see I'm all for equality. To me, women are not special in any way shape or form, and there is no reason for the dating world to put all the weight of dating onto guys. I'm just not having that, not by a long shot. I'm willing to put 25% of the effort on complete strangers, and then escalate it to 50% with the right one (hopefully I won't get infatuated tho.) This is my reasoning. Yes, it's most likely flawed and borne out of trauma... but who cares? I'm just a guy out of 4 billions or whatever.
You made your decision. You made up your mind. You act on what you think is right for you. Many people couldn’t do this and if this is the path you tread onto happiness than who am I to judge a sound man perfectly capable of achieving contentness by himself.
“Everyone says college will be better” Yeah no, as someone who actually went to, graduated and received a degree from college, generally speaking unless you’re a business major who can do nothing but party all the time and still graduate, college fucking sucks.
This was me. I went in intending to do a physics/compsci double major. Ended up doing an econ/math double. Now I'm 36, no job and live with my parents. Still no gf.
I wish I had some little dude like this in my life to mentor him, there are so many wrong assumption and biases in this story, but I understand how simply listing them won't solve the situation. They need someone social to show them the way
True and straight, sadly. Even worse: "they don't want to teach you, they want someone who already knows" is true outside of dating too, it's just especially painful there. That's why you have "entry level" jobs requiring 5 years experience.
Something to remember is most people post a curated version of events to social media, they'll post the highlights and good stuff but not necessarily the problems. Not to say every relationship has problems or is bad, but it's not true that 'everybody else is happy and I'm the only miserable one'
I think you're missing the point. It's more that most people have experienced relationships and know how to be not broken up with within the first week, as opposed to trying to date/be genuine and then getting a text saying "idk something isnt working" because of something slightly awkward/cringe/inexperienced you did 3 days in.
It's kind of true but I feel like that view point also misses the mark. No one will ever solve all their problems, but there is different kind of problems and you can exchange or upgrade problems. A good example is money. Everyone has money problems, even rich people (because everyone wants some of it). But the rich people kind of money problem is a much better problem to have than the poor people kind of money problem. With love it's the same. Yes, people in relation ships have their own problems to deal with and even new problems unique to people who have relation ships. But those are much better problems to have than not even knowing how to meet someone or not being able to connect with other people because your social skills don't match your age. I dunno, you probably know this already and I'm just saying it because your comment sounds a bit like all problems are equal.
@@markishbasedgod5251 That is true, but you gotta remember that these people are good at dating... because they're good at lying. It's unfortunately just a fact that the average person just projects the best version of themselves when they date. Girls learn how to do this first, then the boys follow their lead when they realize the guys a couple years older, that are clearly fake as fuck, are pulling girls with ease. I actually understand the nuances of forming a relationship really well, but it makes deeply uncomfortable to be fake. For example, my dream date is one where we literally just nerd out over our interests. Don't even have to have the same interests, I love listening to people ramble about things they love even if it's not for me. Most people, HATE this though. Most people communicate in a few sentences at a time tops. Rambling is only acceptable if you're telling a fun story and you have lots of charisma. The rest of us are supposed to be real quick and to the point. I happen to really hate this style of communication, because life experience has taught me that doing this just leads to bonding with people on an emotional level, without actually knowing shit about who they are as a person. It's exhausting and quite frankly, infuriating.
I had a gf in highschool, never really got that far because she lived too far for me to ride my bike, and there was a significant lack of venue to do fun things. Relationship ended up dying off slowly after she had to move away, long distance sucks.
Yeah this so true and relatable, especially the dating app nonsense and that you told you’ll find someone cause your one of kindest person ever, but nothing really happens.
Wdym, just live a loife, give 0 bucks about whoever thinks about you. Who gives a damn if you managed to "score"? If that person is you - then help yourself in either playing "the hobby" game or just smalltalk your brain with anyone around you. There's always a way to circumvent the pain you brain gives ya. We must pull up our pants, dust ourselves off, making sacrifices. So that we might live better.
OP forgot about cougars. Ohh, they’ll teach you. This post was practically me: didn’t get any action in HS, felt left behind and undesired. Graduated in 2004, didn’t really change anything about myself, but things pick up a bit and a year later, I start dating a 34 year old from work-and she was ferocious. Her sex drive was out of this world, which I guess worked out for her because it was really only back then when I could go all night (sometimes). She was fun and after I enlisted, I loved telling stories about her because goddamn, did she make me feel like a god.
I guess my parents spent so much time trying to make my autistic ass not be annoying that I never picked up on how to be good company instead. I guess this never does get much easier even if you can move past it. But man, at least for once, I'd like to feel like the best thing I could be wasn't like someone else. Hearing this felt like reading my own journal entries.
This was basically me in highschool. Didn't date anyone, didn't go to proms or dances, any of that. Not because nobody was interested in me, but suffice to say the girls I went to school with weren't what I wanted, and highschool dances just didn't interest me activity-wise. Sure enough, after I got out and moved away from there, things improved and I've had a lot of relationships since. Sometimes you're just in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Yes, full stop So this is actual real advice Give up on finding a gf and do what you like to do I have seen the other side of this Got an absurdly easy WFH job. Was able to basically spend a year where I could make my day job into cleaning up my act Picked up normie hobbies. Books, all genres. Movies. Normie shows. Men AND women's sports. Coffee barista level shit and bunch of booze mixes. Travelled. Hiked. ANYTHING to hold a convo. Practiced good hygiene ofc. Just made myself as presentable as possible, even going for quality over quantity on dating apps, swiping on profiles listing similar "interests" I had Some chats went well enough A few even got me laid and if you only care about that then great... but the thing is Anon's right Actual relationships are nearly impossible And I'm only talking about the small percentage that dont just ghost for no reason You're so far behind and he's right. You get one, maybe two mistakes before things start slipping. You get a little more leeway if you're supermodel hot but lets be real you're not that hot or you wouldnt be in this situation in the first place. The relationship essentially needs to become a second (or third) full time job on top of maintaining your normie hobbies, body, and actual paying job. Once you run out of quirky date ideas with a girl you're especially cooked. Only one guy I've met who pulled through the swamp and it was bc the girl got her car towed on a date they met in the middle for, and he stuck around- like any decent person would- but that made him seem really reliable and dedicated. Dumb luck. They otherwise have nothing in common. They both admitted it privately to me at points lol. She outright said she was about to keep looking but that happened and it was like "something out of a movie" and that was it. Sorry for the novel but this was like a personal PHD course I ran for myself. Years ending and have nowhere else to report so here you go
You are not cooked it's not necessarily a bad thing, people tend to see only the positive sides of relationships when in fact your life will be more stressful and chaotic while in a relationship.
It depends on how you can handle going through this. There are positive sides to such a life, if you can see them, and if you can handle being by yourself.
@@mirceazaharia2094 well to be fair, I do need to focus on myself and studies... A relationship is not really something I have time for at the moment, but I'll be 20 next year and the farthest I ever got with a girl was a friendly hug
You still have a chance. I'm 30s and now work the night shift from home. I'm pretty cooked. 💀💀 My advice, work a shitty part time job(s) with unreliable young adult coworkers until you can establish yourself socially. I'm thinking like McDonald's something, although around my area that isn't a particularly good place for this (they are filled with whole ass families seemingly almost like Chinese restaurants but Hispanic and Indian, ect). Maybe Starbucks. Make mistakes, going to school helps self esteem since you are doing something good for yourself and prospects will feel high. Maybe I was lucky but I was working in the kitchen at a nursing home washing dishes mostly and that was the last time I was really social with people my age. Do little things for women but expect NOTHING from them. Last time I almost had 1 singular chance I was angrily doing stuff for a new coworker I had pretty negative feelings for (first thing I heard her say was kind of vulgar and I was young lol). I'm just skulking around like usual and I go to hand her a tray of dirty cups and she does the cutest "give me" pose, almost like she was asking for a hug and I was finished. In hindsight I basically didn't really do much but she would always come into the empty ass break room with me when everyone else was chatting and eating lunch together in the kitchen and I would randomly accompany her on her smoke breaks even when I didn't smoke. Anyways when I left for my full time job we left it at "once I get a place" and I still live with my dad like 10 years later. 💀💀 (I have my excuses, like mother's health issues and such) My mistake? I stupidly left for a full time job when I was like 22 thinking it'd be great... it wasn't. I was the youngest at the job by far and had no one to really connect to except my best friends who I got the job opportunity from but we worked off each others shifts. As in one friend was working nights Sun-Wed where I worked Thurs-Sat and any days we took off the other friend had to cover. Ultimately this was the mistake, but once you start working full time you can almost never go back to working part time so enjoy shitty teenage coworkers while you can because once you get dependable ones working full time it's all business and no relationships. I'm at a new job but still nights, so still cooked ...
Just finished university, still the same... At least I don't remember that many people dating back in HS, there's no prom where I live either. So I didn't feel so out of place, but in uni... yeah...
For me, the years pass by so fast i can't even think what i,m going to do tomorow...i,m not even bother to think to take some time just to say hello to a random girl i like😂
I'm 31 years old, i went through high school, college and postgraduate studies with no girl experience. It used to bother me a lot, however I've seemed to reach an age where romance it's no longer that important. The same friends that used to openly talk about relationships no longer do, even if they do have relationships. Now we mostly talk about current topics in our field and in general; it gets easier and easier over time and the more you realize that there's more to life than dating the more you actually start to enjoy it. Accept the fact that romance is not for everyone and women don't own you anything; call it copium if you like, but it beats becoming a bitter incel
What beats both is actually finding the love of your life. I couldn't imagine spending my entire life alone. Don't get me wrong, I hate dating, what I would love most is finding a girl who I truly love and staying with her for the rest of my life. I don't know how tf I'm gonna accomplish that but that's another topic
Keep coping boyo you already failed the biological point of life. The is nothing to life other than reproducing and then dying. All other things are just their for worthless people who couldn't succeed in reproducing and eventually found different ways to convince themselves that there is more to life. Also romance and love are not real things they never have been.
f*ck off dude. You are only saying this cuz you're 30+ and all your friends f*cked around and now are settling down, thats why it doesnt bother you that much anymore. if right now you were sent back in time to your 20s you'd feel the pain right away. and what the hell with that "romance isnt for everyone"? sex and relationships with the opposite gender have always been one of the pillars of human needs. might as well go become a monk and barley eat food as well if thats how you think. cope all you want but the truth is that "bitter incel" is just the natural reaction to being starved of one of your basic needs.
I’m gonna try to give a white pill, maybe everyone will reject it but if one person takes it I hope it’s worth it. First off is how comparison itself is poison and is completely irrelevant. All that matters is knowing and accepting what you want, and believing that it is possible. It may be more difficult for you, it may feel like a more uphill battle than it should be, it may feel like a rigged game against you and you’re likely correct. But you can always choose what games to play in life, and choose games where you have more advantage than disadvantage. I’d say I relate to feeling completely invisible in high school and probably college too. A lot of effort with no substantial result, and like I’d fallen behind completely in terms of experience. Lots of heartbreak, lots of anxiety and despair. I’d say things only changed for me after college, when I completely ignored my degree and picked a trade I intrinsically knew I had a natural talent for, despite my family protesting. I wasn’t even thinking about dating, I’d kind of committed to giving up on it since it brought me more anxiety than peace, but just from being really good at my work I got a lot of positive attention and indirectly impressed the woman who would later become my wife. I think young guys are setting themselves up for a lot of pain if all they’re doing is asking for accepting vs rejection, if this were business it’s like asking random people to buy your product without caring if your product is even desirable. And yes as a customer you don’t want to help a business build a product you’re about to buy, you just want to buy the best option. So if you’re a product in development, you gotta figure out who you are, what you care about , what you’re potentially good at, and how you can package that into something that the world can see as valuable (think of being attractive as something that naturally commands positive attention). Even if it’s on a very small local level, if you can choose an arena where you can build the competence to find some semblance of status, authority, or fame/reputation, everything’s going to open up to you.
Fix: keep the girls who friend-zone you as friends and learn their perspective of dating. Once you know the other side well enogh it feels like cheating. It takes some emotional maturity to talk to a girl you liked about how she's hooking up with one or many other guys, but that I feel is necessary to get anywhere anyways
Feel like Anon is still in late teens/early 20's college age to which I say this as someone about to be 30 in less than a week... Did the same thing, focused on school, a few friends, and games, while being morbidly obese... Thought the same thing going into college, realized it wasn't going to suddenly change... But, as I went through my classes, focusing on my work, and seeing the other students 'socializing' I came to realize that while I wanted someone, and a relationship, I did not want the hookup culture garbage, and that girls my age at the time just seemed immature to myself... I ultimately stopped caring about that and entered the workforce, lost the weight, and now at 29 I'm comfortable as a single man while the people I thought 'had it all' in those days are wrangling kids and failing marriages, some have been happy, but a lot of them are not, whereas I do what I want, when I want, and can afford to do what I want when I want while setting up my future old man self for his golden years... And... It's addicting really... I'm not tied down by children, or a woman, I come and go as I please answering only to myself, it's nice honestly... From time to time I wonder about going after a woman, I've had offers these past few years as the 'lump of "eck" clay' from high school has turned into a decent looking man with a good job, I know in my position I offer these women a 'stable future' but I have no interest in being a meal ticket to anybody, and the silence is so relieving after a long day... If I want a kid in the future I'd rather adopt and bypass the social BS that comes with potentially failed marriages and baby mama drama... It's not bad Anon, not bad at all...
True, but adopting children while lacking intimate social skill would be inevitably going bad since in no way you could be "ready" to foster a child, it needs the whole village to take care them. You need some trusted and capable friend that're qualified socially as emphathetic caregiver when you have no such time to spend for yor foster kids in their time of need. Or maybe even learning necessary hindsight that you would never really understand until getting to do that, and guided by experienced people, would be good thing to still has capable parents to helping you out at very least. But for most of Westerners are in situation where probably already moving out way too far from their own hometown, especially by now still living and working busy life in the city, doesn't necessarily means it has to be deep romantic feelings turned into relationship. But more as profound and broad mutual relationship that based by empathies and affections are truly what you missing out the chance earlier in your life when you spending them to take care off yourself. This can't really make happened if you have lacking sense of need to be with each other because that's how our modern life have been shaped, we have become to complacent with luxury of secure and stable modern life that we're not urgently needing to vehemently socializing, but it's still not that safe for many.
@@williemherbert1456 It doesn't work in the west because there is no trust. Women don't need men, because there are no hard times. Its just that simple, attitudes will shift only when people are forced to change.
It's only "not bad" because you aren't in the bad bit yet. You have some tough pills to swallow: 1. The "golden years"... aren't. Those will be the years where you're hamstrung from doing the things that are important to you now because of physical disability and illnesses from old age. They call them the "golden years" because that's when you'd get to spend all your time with your partner and beloved family, finally free from the woes and tumult of the workplace. 2. Adoption is far harder to be approved for as a single person. It is even harder than that for a single man. Chances are you will not be approved. I'm not saying everyone needs kids, or even marriage, but the overwhelming statistics and knowledge of mankind all point to us being social animals, and being alone in life is known to be as detrimental to health as a pack-a-day cigarette habit. Everyone needs someone.
My brothers out there do not waste your time and mental energy CHASING women, remember. You will catch more butterflies by building a garden. Not trying to catch one at a time with a net. Focus on your environment, see the light at the end, keep doing what you love. it. will. happen. STAY POSITIVE! That is the energy that will attract. Not chase.
That's pretty good advice I notice a lot of guys desperate for a girlfriend have these critical flaws like terrible hygiene or terrible confidence etc…. Statistically there is a woman out there who is into your overall look and personality. The planets population is mostly women. If you just take care of yourself your bound to run into a women who is openly into you
yeah deadass, once you find the one that likes you for you, and you can be your weird quirky self around thats when you stay. Stop putting on a mask to be around women.
My biggest regret to this day for probably the rest of My life is that I turned down around 5 opportunities (and those are the ones I can count) in highschool/middle school days to have a relationship. I’m so fucking stupid to believe I could Just date in college
You do. You miss out on nice feelings, cuddling and everything. But you're also missing out on crazy exes, toxic relationships, stalking and a lot of drama and heart break. Telling yourself that you're not missing out is coping, but there's still a lot of pros and cons to dating that might even it out.
@vornamenachname989 100% rather be alone than playing a numbers game going through trauma and toxic relationships sifting through all the psychos to finally maybe find a normal match, if I'm lucky lol 😜
@@DaemonC Agree completely. Pros and cons. Tbf, American dating might be a lot worse than where I'm from, so that might be why I weigh the pros a little higher than the cons.
I refused to keep trying at 16. I'm 32 now, I live alone and I'm kinda used to it. I did turn down some relationships that were about to happen. I'm comfortable alone, don't want someone to abruptly alter and modify what it took so hard for me to build (my lifestyle and preferences.) I know what I'm missing on, and I know I'm probably broken inside, but I've made my decision. My big brother and my best friend both have a child and are married. My only company is my lil sis visiting from time to time, she is slowly starting to date, and I'm all for it. She is the type to find happiness through love. Soon enough I'll be completely alone, and it will probably set my priorities on stone. There are other things in life to enjoy other than relationships and people. Things more easy to find, more controllable, less chaotic and destructive, but at the same time not so rewarding. However, I do like the peace and quiet of an empty - silent room. I'm kinda addicted to it, and I desire it as soon as I find myself in any other environment.
While it’s true women, and I’d guess men too, want someone with experience, at the same time this person doesn’t put themselves out there enough. You expect everyone else to make the first and most moves. There’s nothing less attractive than the victim mentality. “Poor me, poor me.” No one is going to feel sorry for you, or date you out of pity or “to give you a chance”. Suck it up and actually put yourself out there. If you’re not good at dating online or strangers, try people you know. People from work, your hobbies, your classes etc, surely there are people you get along with that you might be interested in. It obviously won’t always work, but there’s no reason you can’t remain friends/acquaintances if you’re adult and mature about it. It’s only awkward if you make it so. If they’re the ones being awkward that’s on them, you move on. Stop being victims of yourselves. Yes it’s daunting at first, but the more you do it the easier it gets and the more you learn and understand. That’s literally part of being human in general.
I feel like 1988 called. I mean this was me ca 1990, but back then it was fairly unusual, say 10%. These days this is pretty much the standard Gen Z male experience.
Had the same exact experience in high school, best advice I can give is to just pretend you know what your doing. The first couple attempts will be awkward as hell but you'll find your foothold eventually and something will catch.
Is the american highschool experience all about dating? Out here in my country, most of the guys that get into relationship that early are usually guys that give 0 Fs about career, or depend on inheriting their fathers business. Most of the people want to build a strong academic background
I didn't have any experience going out of high school. During college i met my now girlfriend, and she's amazing, but my mental health has been declining for the past couple years. Nothing makes me happy anymore, all I have is distractions. Don't get me wrong, i love her, and i love spending time with her, but she can't fix me. Being in a relationship won't suddenly make you happy, you might think it will, i did too, it might feel that way for a while, but deep down you need to be okay with yourself first. If you are desperate to get into a relationship, and you're depressed because you're not, i know you've heard it a million times, but focus on getting better first. A relationship won't ever fix struggles you have on the inside. I wish i was better before i met my girlfriend, I wish i was okay now so that i could be the boyfriend she deserves. Please don't force yourself into relationships when there's deeper stuff going on, genuinely. It breaks me to see her hurt because i'm getting worse and worse. Fix yourself, nobody can do it for you, not even a partner
You didn't miss the boat, you dodged a bullet. I lost my V card after high school, it's not as great as it sounds. The reason you are in this pitty party is twofold: First, you are not secure in yourself, and that is shining like a supernova that everyone can see, whether they fully realize it or not. Second, everything else you said about the dating scene is true. And that is even for guys with game. Cultivate your sense of peace now, it's not going to get any better out there. All you can do is stop trying to please people who don't care, be yourself and confident in who that is, and then only spend your time and effort on people and things that are worth it and improve your life. The real one will be there for you, the real you, help you be the best version of the man in the mirror, and she will not care if you haven't got as many bodies as Ron Jeremy. Aside from that, if you are still friends with your female friends, have them put out feelers and vet girls for you. Same with your guy friends. And for the sake of your sanity, axe any friends who are not willing to do for you what you would do for them. All of this is s*** you should have been taught the second you hit puberty. It is not that easy, but it is that simple.
my bf didn’t have his first date or kiss until he was 24, and it was from me. We’ve been together a long time now, on track to get married. Just because you don’t date during middle and high school, doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. Different people have different things going on in their lives, whether it’s mental struggles or irl struggles. Even if you go to college right after high school, jumping into relationships just cus everyone else is doing it and makes you feel like that’s the norm, it’s not. it means nothing. Not all girls are expecting guys to know everything. Not all guys are expecting girls to just put out. People with the mindset anon has get nowhere fast.
Survivorship bias. Just because your boyfriend made it, doesn't mean that everyone else in such a situation will make it. Doesn't mean that they CAN make it.
I disagree. I looked good since I was a child. I got my first gf when I was 6(!) years old. The longest period of not having anyone was for 3 years in middle school. Both before and after that I didnt have more that a few months of break. And I'm 33 now. I even had 3 girls lining up in the same time asking me to date with them. The only time I wasn't asked by a girl to date with them was with my wife. She was also not much of a challenege to get. Life is significantly easier when you are born with the right genes and work out regularly to have an athletic body. You literally doesn't have to lift a finger and girls will line up to date with you. That's how it works.
People don't necessarily want those who has "experience" or those who yaps the loudest, they wsnt the people they've interested in and consider worthy. If you aren't experienced, but considered good enough, "teaching" you is deemed romantic, and people are really into it. And they certainly can not read your mind and see that you're inexperienced, so as long as you don't tell the ones who cares, it's also fine. The anon in this story is right about 2 things: he's not good enough and he never were. But that doesn't mean that his life is over, people can really improve in anything, and when you become worthy, your experience becomes a bonus.
Life is just a big high school. If you were a loser before youre likely gonna be one after school/collage. Just know sometimes there isnt an answer and its ok.
Idk mate, my life became so much easier when I started working. No more starvation, own place to stay at, I could manage my own spendings, independence and responsibility for my own life.
Easy life hack for meeting girls: Cultivate a relationship with God, pray in Jesus’ name for a wife, believe in what you’ve asked for, and have confidence that He will give you what you’ve asked for. Confidence in general is attractive to women. Also, make sure to never idealize or idolize the girl. It may not happen when you want it to, but it’ll happen when you’re ready. Trust me! ✝️
"When is it my turn?" "Women dont want to teach you" Yeah ok i wonder why women dont want you I myself started dating at 19 years old, its very much not that tight and any mistakes i do my partner points out and i do better, same for them. Just find s right person(i do not mean go to bars and creep on random women until god of rng lets you have "the one", i mean go make friends and if you happen to get a crush on some of them - try your chance. If that doesnt work out, congrats you made somr friends anyway)
most boys in my 12th grade class never even talked to girls. he's really overblowing the "everyone starts college already experienced" thing. he created the premise in his head that it was impossible to succeed so obviously it came true. dude just needed someone to get him high so he could chill tf out.
If this is your experience you’re hanging out with or going after the wrong people. I know plenty of people who met later than 25 and go on to have great marriages. It’s not at all a bad thing to be “inexperienced”, and you’ll realize later on that it was actually a blessing in disguise. The ones who sleep around in high school rarely ever end up having good marriages.
The secret ingredient is lying. I mean, are they really going to check on your "past relationships" to see if they actually happened? It's way easier when you move elsewhere. Even a different neighborhood in the same city. Or you can just... Not give a fuck? I've yet to meet one single person who can confirm that dating improved his life significantly. You want to feel loved and validated. We all do. But dating is by far the most inefficient way to achieve that love and validation.
Soooo homeboy sabotages himself before he can even try then complains when its not immediately dropped in his lap? Come on bro you’re definitely better than that
If you see this, please donate to hood voice over cartoons. He’s going through a lot and I don’t have much of anything so this is all I can do. If you can’t do anything, I’d appreciate spreading the message
@@hughjanus700 This! i don't know what bro is talking about when he calls this a "dumb obsession." try living alone for the majority of your life see how long you can last before you also develop a "dumb obsession" I'm so tired of people coming up with this inconsiderate BS.
@citrosthoughts7 okay? You can hang out with the bros, no need to be alone. Women aren't necessary to have good company, in fact most guys that get a girlfriend start neglecting their social circles so it's rather a counterproductive obsession.
Do yourself a favor and put yourself into the aforementioned "teacher's" position. She came in a story but all she gets is a pen of dubious quality, that you have to write with for quite some pages. It feels like a job at this point and even then you won't get what you want due to frustrations arising. Our brain shortcircuits around this perceptive waste of time, so don't feel bad about that. Plus to that, you would really sound like a weirdo to her. Most of the people don't get the knack from teaching others and even then 95% of said people are bad teachers.
@@jabroniyumerale6204 Fr this "teaching" shit is weirdo shit. Being a virgin and communicating during sex is one thing but if a grown man has to ask a woman they're with to teach them how to have sex properly thats most definitely an ick for most women. They aren't mature enough to have sex if they do that. They need to grow some balls and learn through experience like everyone else. If you don't do good, learn from it! Do better next time. Like every dude has to do. People really need their hand held through everything these days, good Lord...🙄
"Women don't want to teach you, they want someone who already knows"
I literally pointed at my monitor when this came up. Way too true.
Slippery Slope that CAN either help you guys Lock In, or make you give up
1) "Relationship Dynamics" by Hawaiian Libertarian
2) "Just Get It" by Rational Male
3) "Amused Mastery" by Rational Male
4) "Command Presence" by Rational Male
@n8-j722 Thank you, but no thank you. I've long since quit dating and dedicated my life to my hobbies. My mental health has never been better and I'm not willing to risk it again. Hopefully someone finds them useful, though.
@@stripesgameclips Good on you.
I'll leave them here for those in need
Who gave you permission to post a video about my life?
If ever u feel bad about yourself in the future, just know u made this really funny and relatable joke now, and that at least u made someone’s day 😂
Seconded made my night :)
Oh dear God, who followed me around with a camera to record my adolescence and rest of my life ?!?
That is so me...
>uncomfortable skeleton noises
Obligatory non-obligatory "your comment is kinda funny, dude"
Went to the comments to write it, lol
"i feel like i live in a completely different world" is so relatable
Yeah, especially since relationships and intimacy are such big topics and seem to be such a big part of people's lives. Meanwhile, my life is completely devoid of any such things(appart from thinking about it and being sad lol)
It's because he does.
So do I, so does everyone else in such a situation.
I was a virgin until I got married. I got married at 22 and met my wife when I was 20. I was mid-way through college and I literally had no experience with anyone. We've been married 11 years. All of my friends who slept around in high school have been divorced.... sometimes more than once. I'm only 33 and despite having started the latest... I currently have the longest relationship of anyone I know in my age group. Sleeping around in high-school is not really that great... and omg no... people in college have no idea what the actual eff they are doing. LOL!! They want to act superior but most of them are total morons in bed. I wouldn't sweat it.
Congratulations man, you won
Survivor bias
@r.d.6290 Every risk taking endeavor involves successes and failures, better to try and fail than to live in failure without any risk of success. Romantic relationships are not for everyone. But you should at least give it your all. If you comment on people who've had success stories with two word idioms, like "survivor bias" you're kind of in the "romantic love may not be for you" category. You have to... have some self belief... for any encouragement to affect you in a positive manner. Getting to college as a virgin is something I lived and yes I did survive and became a father of three later with a 10+ year stable marriage. But I was always hopeful and I let encouragement work the way it should. I was never a dead in the eyes cynical beta-male with an attitude problem and the sensitivity of a small toddler, as your comment suggests about your character.
was she a virgin?
3, 7, 14, 21, 25 these are the years when divorce is most likely. I truly hope things work out for you just don't forget marriage is an uphill battle and you're Sisyphus.
"Cant even imagine someone wanting me like that."
Yeah. Hate to admit it, but it just doesnt magically happen for a lot of people. The one time it looked like it might, it blew up in my face and gave me emotional trauma for a decade.
I legit have no idea how people end up in relationships. So many guys just casually mention having a wife like it's normal, and I've never even had a girlfriend. I don't know how it works.
Every time I see a woman obviously being attracted to a man, I'm subconsciously so confused like "wait... it goes the other way around as well?" Even though I know that, of course it does, but seeing it still feels unreal to me.
And the thought of that ever happening to me is very hard to believe, probably because it hasn't happened in the last 23 years.
Still recovering from my first 3 friendzones
Uncomfortably relatable
Yup
I refused to keep trying at 16. I'm 32 now, I live alone and I'm kinda used to it.
I did turn down some relationships that were about to happen.
I'm comfortable alone, don't want someone to abruptly alter and modify what it took so hard for me to build (my lifestyle and preferences.)
I know what I'm missing on, and I know I'm probably broken inside, but I've made my decision.
My big brother and my best friend both have a child and are married. My only company is my lil sis visiting from time to time, she is slowly starting to date, and I'm all for it. She is the type to find happiness through love.
Soon enough I'll be completely alone, and it will probably set my priorities on stone.
There are other things in life to enjoy instead of relationships and people. Things more easy to find, more controllable, less chaotic and destructive, but at the same time not so rewarding in the long run.
However, I do like the peace and quiet of an empty - silent room. In fact I'm kinda addicted to it, and I desire it as soon as I find myself in any other environment.
Dude your 32 if you have a decent income your pretty much primed to find a women.
@@appropriate-channelname3049women who date on income are goldiggers
16 is too young to give up and too young to judge what a real relationship is like and whether it’ll be as bad as you think it’ll be. Now you’re 32 it’s time to stop being selfish and find someone to share your life with, think about that for a bit
@@liteknight What I meant by giving up was that I decided to stop engaging in the whole courting and partner-seeking hassle and focus on myself.
Am I being selfish? Of course I am, it's my own life and I put a huge value on it. I'm not gonna give it away to the first woman who finds me half decent, and I'm not gonna waste years of my precious life (and limited sanity) searching everywhere for eyes who can appreciate my true colors.
In case you want to know why I quit dating at 16:
You see I'm all for equality. To me, women are not special in any way shape or form, and there is no reason for the dating world to put all the weight of dating onto guys. I'm just not having that, not by a long shot.
I'm willing to put 25% of the effort on complete strangers, and then escalate it to 50% with the right one (hopefully I won't get infatuated tho.)
This is my reasoning. Yes, it's most likely flawed and borne out of trauma... but who cares?
I'm just a guy out of 4 billions or whatever.
You made your decision. You made up your mind. You act on what you think is right for you. Many people couldn’t do this and if this is the path you tread onto happiness than who am I to judge a sound man perfectly capable of achieving contentness by himself.
“Everyone says college will be better”
Yeah no, as someone who actually went to, graduated and received a degree from college, generally speaking unless you’re a business major who can do nothing but party all the time and still graduate, college fucking sucks.
This was me. I went in intending to do a physics/compsci double major. Ended up doing an econ/math double. Now I'm 36, no job and live with my parents. Still no gf.
It's over for anoncels.
It never really began.
Nuh uh
I wish I had some little dude like this in my life to mentor him, there are so many wrong assumption and biases in this story, but I understand how simply listing them won't solve the situation. They need someone social to show them the way
True and straight, sadly.
Even worse: "they don't want to teach you, they want someone who already knows" is true outside of dating too, it's just especially painful there. That's why you have "entry level" jobs requiring 5 years experience.
The old folks don't care for the younger generation. They climbed the ladder up to the top and pulled it up after them.
@@konstantinrebrov675 "they climbed the ladder up to the top and pulled it up after them" goes hard
Something to remember is most people post a curated version of events to social media, they'll post the highlights and good stuff but not necessarily the problems.
Not to say every relationship has problems or is bad, but it's not true that 'everybody else is happy and I'm the only miserable one'
It's not "everyone is happy" it's "I'm alone here while everyone has a partner"
I think you're missing the point. It's more that most people have experienced relationships and know how to be not broken up with within the first week, as opposed to trying to date/be genuine and then getting a text saying "idk something isnt working" because of something slightly awkward/cringe/inexperienced you did 3 days in.
Yes it is. Yes it fucking is. Everyone is happy except for me.
It's kind of true but I feel like that view point also misses the mark. No one will ever solve all their problems, but there is different kind of problems and you can exchange or upgrade problems. A good example is money. Everyone has money problems, even rich people (because everyone wants some of it). But the rich people kind of money problem is a much better problem to have than the poor people kind of money problem. With love it's the same. Yes, people in relation ships have their own problems to deal with and even new problems unique to people who have relation ships. But those are much better problems to have than not even knowing how to meet someone or not being able to connect with other people because your social skills don't match your age.
I dunno, you probably know this already and I'm just saying it because your comment sounds a bit like all problems are equal.
@@markishbasedgod5251 That is true, but you gotta remember that these people are good at dating... because they're good at lying. It's unfortunately just a fact that the average person just projects the best version of themselves when they date. Girls learn how to do this first, then the boys follow their lead when they realize the guys a couple years older, that are clearly fake as fuck, are pulling girls with ease. I actually understand the nuances of forming a relationship really well, but it makes deeply uncomfortable to be fake. For example, my dream date is one where we literally just nerd out over our interests. Don't even have to have the same interests, I love listening to people ramble about things they love even if it's not for me. Most people, HATE this though. Most people communicate in a few sentences at a time tops. Rambling is only acceptable if you're telling a fun story and you have lots of charisma. The rest of us are supposed to be real quick and to the point. I happen to really hate this style of communication, because life experience has taught me that doing this just leads to bonding with people on an emotional level, without actually knowing shit about who they are as a person. It's exhausting and quite frankly, infuriating.
This is insanely depressing and relatable
Natural selection bro keep crying 😂
(I'm in the same boat)
If this can be justified by muh natural selection, so can grape.
Based
“It is better to be unhappy and know the worst, than to be happy in a fool's paradise.”
this is so real
I had a gf in highschool, never really got that far because she lived too far for me to ride my bike, and there was a significant lack of venue to do fun things. Relationship ended up dying off slowly after she had to move away, long distance sucks.
Damn dude I'm sorry. Slowly is a real bad way to die. How did she pass?
@@Crunchy166 The relationship did, she's still fine and we don't speak anymore because we both have lives. I'll revise the comment to clarify.
@@spooky5338 Looks like the joke flew right over your head XD don't change it it was funny!
Yeah this so true and relatable, especially the dating app nonsense and that you told you’ll find someone cause your one of kindest person ever, but nothing really happens.
I just finished the video, I genuinely don’t see how I’m gonna to make it into my 30s at this rate.
Wdym, just live a loife, give 0 bucks about whoever thinks about you.
Who gives a damn if you managed to "score"? If that person is you - then help yourself in either playing "the hobby" game or just smalltalk your brain with anyone around you.
There's always a way to circumvent the pain you brain gives ya.
We must pull up our pants, dust ourselves off, making sacrifices. So that we might live better.
at this point the only thing that matters its just trying to scratch the happiness from the small things and stay alive
Bro we are on the same bus going to the same destination. Sadly thats natural selection
OP forgot about cougars. Ohh, they’ll teach you.
This post was practically me: didn’t get any action in HS, felt left behind and undesired. Graduated in 2004, didn’t really change anything about myself, but things pick up a bit and a year later, I start dating a 34 year old from work-and she was ferocious. Her sex drive was out of this world, which I guess worked out for her because it was really only back then when I could go all night (sometimes). She was fun and after I enlisted, I loved telling stories about her because goddamn, did she make me feel like a god.
Would you recommend or no?
I'm 20 with 0 dating experience.
It's over.
I guess my parents spent so much time trying to make my autistic ass not be annoying that I never picked up on how to be good company instead. I guess this never does get much easier even if you can move past it. But man, at least for once, I'd like to feel like the best thing I could be wasn't like someone else. Hearing this felt like reading my own journal entries.
This was basically me in highschool. Didn't date anyone, didn't go to proms or dances, any of that. Not because nobody was interested in me, but suffice to say the girls I went to school with weren't what I wanted, and highschool dances just didn't interest me activity-wise. Sure enough, after I got out and moved away from there, things improved and I've had a lot of relationships since. Sometimes you're just in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Relatable
Left high school.
Left college.
Left grad school.
Left my 20s.
This all became harder when they made it illegal to farm low level zone
that awkward moment when your friends start talking about their past and current relationships, am I right guys ?
It’s the good ol American “fuck you I got mine” attitude. People could care less about your struggles honestly.
Am I cooked if its somewhat the same for me?
Yes, full stop
So this is actual real advice
Give up on finding a gf and do what you like to do
I have seen the other side of this
Got an absurdly easy WFH job. Was able to basically spend a year where I could make my day job into cleaning up my act
Picked up normie hobbies. Books, all genres. Movies. Normie shows. Men AND women's sports. Coffee barista level shit and bunch of booze mixes. Travelled. Hiked. ANYTHING to hold a convo. Practiced good hygiene ofc. Just made myself as presentable as possible, even going for quality over quantity on dating apps, swiping on profiles listing similar "interests" I had
Some chats went well enough
A few even got me laid and if you only care about that then great... but the thing is
Anon's right
Actual relationships are nearly impossible
And I'm only talking about the small percentage that dont just ghost for no reason
You're so far behind and he's right. You get one, maybe two mistakes before things start slipping. You get a little more leeway if you're supermodel hot but lets be real you're not that hot or you wouldnt be in this situation in the first place.
The relationship essentially needs to become a second (or third) full time job on top of maintaining your normie hobbies, body, and actual paying job.
Once you run out of quirky date ideas with a girl you're especially cooked.
Only one guy I've met who pulled through the swamp and it was bc the girl got her car towed on a date they met in the middle for, and he stuck around- like any decent person would- but that made him seem really reliable and dedicated. Dumb luck. They otherwise have nothing in common. They both admitted it privately to me at points lol. She outright said she was about to keep looking but that happened and it was like "something out of a movie" and that was it.
Sorry for the novel but this was like a personal PHD course I ran for myself. Years ending and have nowhere else to report so here you go
You are not cooked it's not necessarily a bad thing, people tend to see only the positive sides of relationships when in fact your life will be more stressful and chaotic while in a relationship.
It depends on how you can handle going through this.
There are positive sides to such a life, if you can see them, and if you can handle being by yourself.
@@mirceazaharia2094 well to be fair, I do need to focus on myself and studies... A relationship is not really something I have time for at the moment, but I'll be 20 next year and the farthest I ever got with a girl was a friendly hug
@@miros6911honestly same but this same girl isn’t my type, and she’s my classmate. A solid 8 years older than me.
Jokes on you, there is no life that I ever wanted.
I'm a freshman at uni rn. This is literally me
Bro I’m just starting college this year, don’t do this to me
@@tcoi187 tbf I'm commuting so it's harder to make friends
The most relatable video I have ever seen
this .......... this is my world..... i dont have words.........
I hate how my parents forced me to go to an all boy highschool 😭
Gonna be 30 soon and this is still my life.
It's unfortunate that for most of us have learned that freedom and loneliness, taste the same and we're all addicted to it.
It's nice to hear other bros have the same issues. All but one of my close friends are engaged or married. Me? Alone.
i'm nearly 20 and this is literally me 😐😐😐😐😐
the world could end for all I care.
You still have a chance. I'm 30s and now work the night shift from home. I'm pretty cooked. 💀💀
My advice, work a shitty part time job(s) with unreliable young adult coworkers until you can establish yourself socially. I'm thinking like McDonald's something, although around my area that isn't a particularly good place for this (they are filled with whole ass families seemingly almost like Chinese restaurants but Hispanic and Indian, ect). Maybe Starbucks. Make mistakes, going to school helps self esteem since you are doing something good for yourself and prospects will feel high. Maybe I was lucky but I was working in the kitchen at a nursing home washing dishes mostly and that was the last time I was really social with people my age.
Do little things for women but expect NOTHING from them. Last time I almost had 1 singular chance I was angrily doing stuff for a new coworker I had pretty negative feelings for (first thing I heard her say was kind of vulgar and I was young lol). I'm just skulking around like usual and I go to hand her a tray of dirty cups and she does the cutest "give me" pose, almost like she was asking for a hug and I was finished. In hindsight I basically didn't really do much but she would always come into the empty ass break room with me when everyone else was chatting and eating lunch together in the kitchen and I would randomly accompany her on her smoke breaks even when I didn't smoke. Anyways when I left for my full time job we left it at "once I get a place" and I still live with my dad like 10 years later. 💀💀 (I have my excuses, like mother's health issues and such)
My mistake? I stupidly left for a full time job when I was like 22 thinking it'd be great... it wasn't. I was the youngest at the job by far and had no one to really connect to except my best friends who I got the job opportunity from but we worked off each others shifts. As in one friend was working nights Sun-Wed where I worked Thurs-Sat and any days we took off the other friend had to cover. Ultimately this was the mistake, but once you start working full time you can almost never go back to working part time so enjoy shitty teenage coworkers while you can because once you get dependable ones working full time it's all business and no relationships. I'm at a new job but still nights, so still cooked ...
We are all alone together!
If you want to force it, date down haaard, get the ball rolling, and work your way up.
Just finished university, still the same...
At least I don't remember that many people dating back in HS, there's no prom where I live either. So I didn't feel so out of place, but in uni... yeah...
For me, the years pass by so fast i can't even think what i,m going to do tomorow...i,m not even bother to think to take some time just to say hello to a random girl i like😂
I'm 31 years old, i went through high school, college and postgraduate studies with no girl experience. It used to bother me a lot, however I've seemed to reach an age where romance it's no longer that important. The same friends that used to openly talk about relationships no longer do, even if they do have relationships. Now we mostly talk about current topics in our field and in general; it gets easier and easier over time and the more you realize that there's more to life than dating the more you actually start to enjoy it. Accept the fact that romance is not for everyone and women don't own you anything; call it copium if you like, but it beats becoming a bitter incel
What beats both is actually finding the love of your life. I couldn't imagine spending my entire life alone. Don't get me wrong, I hate dating, what I would love most is finding a girl who I truly love and staying with her for the rest of my life. I don't know how tf I'm gonna accomplish that but that's another topic
Keep coping boyo you already failed the biological point of life. The is nothing to life other than reproducing and then dying. All other things are just their for worthless people who couldn't succeed in reproducing and eventually found different ways to convince themselves that there is more to life. Also romance and love are not real things they never have been.
f*ck off dude. You are only saying this cuz you're 30+ and all your friends f*cked around and now are settling down, thats why it doesnt bother you that much anymore. if right now you were sent back in time to your 20s you'd feel the pain right away. and what the hell with that "romance isnt for everyone"? sex and relationships with the opposite gender have always been one of the pillars of human needs. might as well go become a monk and barley eat food as well if thats how you think. cope all you want but the truth is that "bitter incel" is just the natural reaction to being starved of one of your basic needs.
Damn, did I write this?
I went years as child with little social contact only to discover I had charm beyond what I could imagine
I’m gonna try to give a white pill, maybe everyone will reject it but if one person takes it I hope it’s worth it.
First off is how comparison itself is poison and is completely irrelevant. All that matters is knowing and accepting what you want, and believing that it is possible. It may be more difficult for you, it may feel like a more uphill battle than it should be, it may feel like a rigged game against you and you’re likely correct. But you can always choose what games to play in life, and choose games where you have more advantage than disadvantage.
I’d say I relate to feeling completely invisible in high school and probably college too. A lot of effort with no substantial result, and like I’d fallen behind completely in terms of experience. Lots of heartbreak, lots of anxiety and despair.
I’d say things only changed for me after college, when I completely ignored my degree and picked a trade I intrinsically knew I had a natural talent for, despite my family protesting. I wasn’t even thinking about dating, I’d kind of committed to giving up on it since it brought me more anxiety than peace, but just from being really good at my work I got a lot of positive attention and indirectly impressed the woman who would later become my wife.
I think young guys are setting themselves up for a lot of pain if all they’re doing is asking for accepting vs rejection, if this were business it’s like asking random people to buy your product without caring if your product is even desirable. And yes as a customer you don’t want to help a business build a product you’re about to buy, you just want to buy the best option.
So if you’re a product in development, you gotta figure out who you are, what you care about , what you’re potentially good at, and how you can package that into something that the world can see as valuable (think of being attractive as something that naturally commands positive attention). Even if it’s on a very small local level, if you can choose an arena where you can build the competence to find some semblance of status, authority, or fame/reputation, everything’s going to open up to you.
Fix: keep the girls who friend-zone you as friends and learn their perspective of dating. Once you know the other side well enogh it feels like cheating. It takes some emotional maturity to talk to a girl you liked about how she's hooking up with one or many other guys, but that I feel is necessary to get anywhere anyways
Feel like Anon is still in late teens/early 20's college age to which I say this as someone about to be 30 in less than a week...
Did the same thing, focused on school, a few friends, and games, while being morbidly obese...
Thought the same thing going into college, realized it wasn't going to suddenly change... But, as I went through my classes, focusing on my work, and seeing the other students 'socializing' I came to realize that while I wanted someone, and a relationship, I did not want the hookup culture garbage, and that girls my age at the time just seemed immature to myself...
I ultimately stopped caring about that and entered the workforce, lost the weight, and now at 29 I'm comfortable as a single man while the people I thought 'had it all' in those days are wrangling kids and failing marriages, some have been happy, but a lot of them are not, whereas I do what I want, when I want, and can afford to do what I want when I want while setting up my future old man self for his golden years... And... It's addicting really...
I'm not tied down by children, or a woman, I come and go as I please answering only to myself, it's nice honestly...
From time to time I wonder about going after a woman, I've had offers these past few years as the 'lump of "eck" clay' from high school has turned into a decent looking man with a good job, I know in my position I offer these women a 'stable future' but I have no interest in being a meal ticket to anybody, and the silence is so relieving after a long day...
If I want a kid in the future I'd rather adopt and bypass the social BS that comes with potentially failed marriages and baby mama drama...
It's not bad Anon, not bad at all...
Divorced guy here, highly recommend surrogacy. Marriage is a joke and absolutely not worth it, since guys lack any leverage whatsoever.
True, but adopting children while lacking intimate social skill would be inevitably going bad since in no way you could be "ready" to foster a child, it needs the whole village to take care them. You need some trusted and capable friend that're qualified socially as emphathetic caregiver when you have no such time to spend for yor foster kids in their time of need.
Or maybe even learning necessary hindsight that you would never really understand until getting to do that, and guided by experienced people, would be good thing to still has capable parents to helping you out at very least. But for most of Westerners are in situation where probably already moving out way too far from their own hometown, especially by now still living and working busy life in the city, doesn't necessarily means it has to be deep romantic feelings turned into relationship. But more as profound and broad mutual relationship that based by empathies and affections are truly what you missing out the chance earlier in your life when you spending them to take care off yourself. This can't really make happened if you have lacking sense of need to be with each other because that's how our modern life have been shaped, we have become to complacent with luxury of secure and stable modern life that we're not urgently needing to vehemently socializing, but it's still not that safe for many.
@@williemherbert1456 It doesn't work in the west because there is no trust. Women don't need men, because there are no hard times. Its just that simple, attitudes will shift only when people are forced to change.
It's only "not bad" because you aren't in the bad bit yet. You have some tough pills to swallow:
1. The "golden years"... aren't. Those will be the years where you're hamstrung from doing the things that are important to you now because of physical disability and illnesses from old age. They call them the "golden years" because that's when you'd get to spend all your time with your partner and beloved family, finally free from the woes and tumult of the workplace.
2. Adoption is far harder to be approved for as a single person. It is even harder than that for a single man. Chances are you will not be approved.
I'm not saying everyone needs kids, or even marriage, but the overwhelming statistics and knowledge of mankind all point to us being social animals, and being alone in life is known to be as detrimental to health as a pack-a-day cigarette habit. Everyone needs someone.
My brothers out there do not waste your time and mental energy CHASING women, remember. You will catch more butterflies by building a garden. Not trying to catch one at a time with a net. Focus on your environment, see the light at the end, keep doing what you love. it. will. happen. STAY POSITIVE! That is the energy that will attract. Not chase.
This is the worst advice. I can already smell how much of a loser you are by your advice.
That's pretty good advice I notice a lot of guys desperate for a girlfriend have these critical flaws like terrible hygiene or terrible confidence etc…. Statistically there is a woman out there who is into your overall look and personality. The planets population is mostly women. If you just take care of yourself your bound to run into a women who is openly into you
yeah deadass, once you find the one that likes you for you, and you can be your weird quirky self around thats when you stay. Stop putting on a mask to be around women.
@@alphaisdank42069 mfw when i put on a mask to be around everyone 💀
@@hemendraravi4787 lol i know many of us do, but some dudes are really out here in long term relationships with a mask on to their partner everytime.
i lost my virginity at 25, now im 31 i am still with the same girl
My biggest regret to this day for probably the rest of
My life is that I turned down around 5 opportunities (and those are the ones I can count) in highschool/middle school days to have a relationship. I’m so fucking stupid to believe I could
Just date in college
How does one even get an 'opportunity'?
Virgin for life… Deep down this hurts
Im 35 with no girl experience, dont sweat it. It gets much worse 😅
On the bright side, we're not missing much.
You do. You miss out on nice feelings, cuddling and everything. But you're also missing out on crazy exes, toxic relationships, stalking and a lot of drama and heart break. Telling yourself that you're not missing out is coping, but there's still a lot of pros and cons to dating that might even it out.
@vornamenachname989 100% rather be alone than playing a numbers game going through trauma and toxic relationships sifting through all the psychos to finally maybe find a normal match, if I'm lucky lol 😜
28 going on 29 with no experience. I'm too blackpilled to even start trying. Why even bother anymore?
@@DaemonC Agree completely. Pros and cons. Tbf, American dating might be a lot worse than where I'm from, so that might be why I weigh the pros a little higher than the cons.
I refused to keep trying at 16. I'm 32 now, I live alone and I'm kinda used to it.
I did turn down some relationships that were about to happen.
I'm comfortable alone, don't want someone to abruptly alter and modify what it took so hard for me to build (my lifestyle and preferences.)
I know what I'm missing on, and I know I'm probably broken inside, but I've made my decision.
My big brother and my best friend both have a child and are married. My only company is my lil sis visiting from time to time, she is slowly starting to date, and I'm all for it. She is the type to find happiness through love.
Soon enough I'll be completely alone, and it will probably set my priorities on stone.
There are other things in life to enjoy other than relationships and people. Things more easy to find, more controllable, less chaotic and destructive, but at the same time not so rewarding.
However, I do like the peace and quiet of an empty - silent room. I'm kinda addicted to it, and I desire it as soon as I find myself in any other environment.
While it’s true women, and I’d guess men too, want someone with experience, at the same time this person doesn’t put themselves out there enough. You expect everyone else to make the first and most moves.
There’s nothing less attractive than the victim mentality. “Poor me, poor me.” No one is going to feel sorry for you, or date you out of pity or “to give you a chance”. Suck it up and actually put yourself out there.
If you’re not good at dating online or strangers, try people you know. People from work, your hobbies, your classes etc, surely there are people you get along with that you might be interested in.
It obviously won’t always work, but there’s no reason you can’t remain friends/acquaintances if you’re adult and mature about it. It’s only awkward if you make it so. If they’re the ones being awkward that’s on them, you move on.
Stop being victims of yourselves. Yes it’s daunting at first, but the more you do it the easier it gets and the more you learn and understand. That’s literally part of being human in general.
leave my life alone 💀
I feel like 1988 called. I mean this was me ca 1990, but back then it was fairly unusual, say 10%. These days this is pretty much the standard Gen Z male experience.
Had the same exact experience in high school, best advice I can give is to just pretend you know what your doing.
The first couple attempts will be awkward as hell but you'll find your foothold eventually and something will catch.
Yeah, basically the same thing as in job market (and any competitive skill)
amen brother, amen.
Is the american highschool experience all about dating? Out here in my country, most of the guys that get into relationship that early are usually guys that give 0 Fs about career, or depend on inheriting their fathers business. Most of the people want to build a strong academic background
I didn't have any experience going out of high school. During college i met my now girlfriend, and she's amazing, but my mental health has been declining for the past couple years. Nothing makes me happy anymore, all I have is distractions. Don't get me wrong, i love her, and i love spending time with her, but she can't fix me. Being in a relationship won't suddenly make you happy, you might think it will, i did too, it might feel that way for a while, but deep down you need to be okay with yourself first. If you are desperate to get into a relationship, and you're depressed because you're not, i know you've heard it a million times, but focus on getting better first. A relationship won't ever fix struggles you have on the inside. I wish i was better before i met my girlfriend, I wish i was okay now so that i could be the boyfriend she deserves. Please don't force yourself into relationships when there's deeper stuff going on, genuinely. It breaks me to see her hurt because i'm getting worse and worse. Fix yourself, nobody can do it for you, not even a partner
Remember lads:
"I can fix him/her." doesn't work.
At least this isn't me haha... (I didn't even have friends)
You didn't miss the boat, you dodged a bullet. I lost my V card after high school, it's not as great as it sounds. The reason you are in this pitty party is twofold: First, you are not secure in yourself, and that is shining like a supernova that everyone can see, whether they fully realize it or not. Second, everything else you said about the dating scene is true. And that is even for guys with game. Cultivate your sense of peace now, it's not going to get any better out there. All you can do is stop trying to please people who don't care, be yourself and confident in who that is, and then only spend your time and effort on people and things that are worth it and improve your life. The real one will be there for you, the real you, help you be the best version of the man in the mirror, and she will not care if you haven't got as many bodies as Ron Jeremy. Aside from that, if you are still friends with your female friends, have them put out feelers and vet girls for you. Same with your guy friends. And for the sake of your sanity, axe any friends who are not willing to do for you what you would do for them. All of this is s*** you should have been taught the second you hit puberty. It is not that easy, but it is that simple.
Found the Bluepill, guys.
my bf didn’t have his first date or kiss until he was 24, and it was from me. We’ve been together a long time now, on track to get married. Just because you don’t date during middle and high school, doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. Different people have different things going on in their lives, whether it’s mental struggles or irl struggles. Even if you go to college right after high school, jumping into relationships just cus everyone else is doing it and makes you feel like that’s the norm, it’s not. it means nothing. Not all girls are expecting guys to know everything. Not all guys are expecting girls to just put out. People with the mindset anon has get nowhere fast.
Survivorship bias. Just because your boyfriend made it, doesn't mean that everyone else in such a situation will make it. Doesn't mean that they CAN make it.
@@mirceazaharia2094 and becuase someone else did not make it doesnt mean i wont, please dont take my hope. its the last thing i have
I disagree. I looked good since I was a child. I got my first gf when I was 6(!) years old. The longest period of not having anyone was for 3 years in middle school. Both before and after that I didnt have more that a few months of break. And I'm 33 now. I even had 3 girls lining up in the same time asking me to date with them. The only time I wasn't asked by a girl to date with them was with my wife. She was also not much of a challenege to get.
Life is significantly easier when you are born with the right genes and work out regularly to have an athletic body. You literally doesn't have to lift a finger and girls will line up to date with you. That's how it works.
I don't think this is his mindset as much as it's just insecurities gnawing away at him
I give it 6 months before she cheats on him with Chad and empties his bank accounts in the divorce.
i dont think its hard at all but probably they looking for normal ppl
People don't necessarily want those who has "experience" or those who yaps the loudest, they wsnt the people they've interested in and consider worthy. If you aren't experienced, but considered good enough, "teaching" you is deemed romantic, and people are really into it. And they certainly can not read your mind and see that you're inexperienced, so as long as you don't tell the ones who cares, it's also fine.
The anon in this story is right about 2 things: he's not good enough and he never were. But that doesn't mean that his life is over, people can really improve in anything, and when you become worthy, your experience becomes a bonus.
Life is just a big high school. If you were a loser before youre likely gonna be one after school/collage. Just know sometimes there isnt an answer and its ok.
High school doesn't reflect reality in the slightest. It becomes more difficult for everyone once they enter the work force
@@Tobyodd it really depends. for some people life begins to click after hs and then things start getting easier once you know what to do in life
Idk mate, my life became so much easier when I started working. No more starvation, own place to stay at, I could manage my own spendings, independence and responsibility for my own life.
Easy life hack for meeting girls: Cultivate a relationship with God, pray in Jesus’ name for a wife, believe in what you’ve asked for, and have confidence that He will give you what you’ve asked for. Confidence in general is attractive to women. Also, make sure to never idealize or idolize the girl. It may not happen when you want it to, but it’ll happen when you’re ready. Trust me! ✝️
Those who know
I hate my life
"When is it my turn?"
"Women dont want to teach you"
Yeah ok i wonder why women dont want you
I myself started dating at 19 years old, its very much not that tight and any mistakes i do my partner points out and i do better, same for them. Just find s right person(i do not mean go to bars and creep on random women until god of rng lets you have "the one", i mean go make friends and if you happen to get a crush on some of them - try your chance. If that doesnt work out, congrats you made somr friends anyway)
most boys in my 12th grade class never even talked to girls. he's really overblowing the "everyone starts college already experienced" thing. he created the premise in his head that it was impossible to succeed so obviously it came true. dude just needed someone to get him high so he could chill tf out.
Well,I heard cougars have time and patience for cases like this.Who knows,maybe older and more experienced lady will be better option after all.
Good comment, but put spaces after your punctuation.
I shit you not, this is too "creative writing" my ass.
But I missed the part where that's my problem.
If this is your experience you’re hanging out with or going after the wrong people. I know plenty of people who met later than 25 and go on to have great marriages. It’s not at all a bad thing to be “inexperienced”, and you’ll realize later on that it was actually a blessing in disguise. The ones who sleep around in high school rarely ever end up having good marriages.
Growing up is realising a lot of girls feel the same. It’s a mess.
The secret ingredient is lying. I mean, are they really going to check on your "past relationships" to see if they actually happened?
It's way easier when you move elsewhere. Even a different neighborhood in the same city.
Or you can just... Not give a fuck? I've yet to meet one single person who can confirm that dating improved his life significantly. You want to feel loved and validated. We all do. But dating is by far the most inefficient way to achieve that love and validation.
Soooo homeboy sabotages himself before he can even try then complains when its not immediately dropped in his lap? Come on bro you’re definitely better than that
The best part about being AroAce is not having to deal with this bs
Gay
"Ace" bs = pure, raw enriched copium straight from the deepest mines of inceldom
If you see this, please donate to hood voice over cartoons. He’s going through a lot and I don’t have much of anything so this is all I can do. If you can’t do anything, I’d appreciate spreading the message
What a dumb obsession
It's an obsession because it's biological. Humans need intimacy. We aren't meant to be isolated like this. It's not so different from hunger or thirst
@@hughjanus700 This! i don't know what bro is talking about when he calls this a "dumb obsession." try living alone for the majority of your life see how long you can last before you also develop a "dumb obsession" I'm so tired of people coming up with this inconsiderate BS.
Ein Deutchlander posting ragebait comments. Halt die fresse, bitte
my monke brain needs someone to smile at me
@citrosthoughts7 okay? You can hang out with the bros, no need to be alone. Women aren't necessary to have good company, in fact most guys that get a girlfriend start neglecting their social circles so it's rather a counterproductive obsession.
It's all nonsense born from insecurity. The best thing is probably to be open about it and simply ask if she wants to teach you.
The answer is no. If you're lucky she won't call the cops on you.
What are you on about? 1) I doubt that would work and (2) "Teach" what?
Do yourself a favor and put yourself into the aforementioned "teacher's" position.
She came in a story but all she gets is a pen of dubious quality, that you have to write with for quite some pages.
It feels like a job at this point and even then you won't get what you want due to frustrations arising.
Our brain shortcircuits around this perceptive waste of time, so don't feel bad about that.
Plus to that, you would really sound like a weirdo to her.
Most of the people don't get the knack from teaching others and even then
95% of said people are bad teachers.
@@jabroniyumerale6204 Fr this "teaching" shit is weirdo shit. Being a virgin and communicating during sex is one thing but if a grown man has to ask a woman they're with to teach them how to have sex properly thats most definitely an ick for most women. They aren't mature enough to have sex if they do that.
They need to grow some balls and learn through experience like everyone else. If you don't do good, learn from it! Do better next time. Like every dude has to do. People really need their hand held through everything these days, good Lord...🙄
Yeah it's your own fault anon .
What makes you say that
@@LethalByChoiceI would guess he is projecting (that’s what I’d be doing to say something like that).