Thank god they told us. If they didn’t tell me they were at school I don’t know that I would have ever figured out they were at school. God, this fanfics plot races along without any regard to human life.
"We're at school now" said tails. "it is time to go to class" sonic was also at school, so he went to the class Holy shit, that's some shakespeare right there
This story was published between may and august of 2012. In one of the authors notes, DarkDoomFireMaster (our scholar and hero) mentions that it’s summer and he’s ready for 8th grade. That would make him either 13 or 14 then. That means he’s 23-24 now. I wonder where he is, and how he’s doing. I wonder if he’s still proud of his magnum opus.
@@NyesoEX I myself wrote a GTA IV fanfic (more of a shitpost really) when I was 15. I recently read it again for the first time in like 7 years and nearly died from the cringe
@@STLCODPS3123 yeah, i know what you, i won't even dare to look for my fanfic i wrote, i know it would be painful to read it of the ammount if cringe it exist there XD
Coming to this from My Immortal, you really have to appreciate the duality of girls and boys fan-fiction. While one delves into make-up, clothes, relationships and bands...the other really tackles serious issues like gay(?) itchy balls and hot anger shits that smell so bad the entire neighborhood comes together to set up fans to divert the scent.
This is why that whole theory a feminist came up with of "why do girls in media always talk about men" is bullshit lmao. That's literally just real life. Women arent deep or meaningful creatures. Their entire purpose is to pleasure men
@@MHScald such a dynamic approach to storytelling where the finer subtleties are left up to the reader to determine instead of beating them over the head with it. Just like Edgar Allen Poe
It just kept getting worse. First it was just his balls, the it was the whole tackle and shaft and by the end it managed to creep its way up the crack, too.
In fact it’s one of the best anime character arcs ever. Zuko’s redemption? Old hat. Obito’s corruption? Literally who? Sonic taking a fat shit is the real thing
It just says 'a person but darker', not a real person. But that doesn't mean the kek is toppable. 'cause I can tell you right the hell now friend it sure ain't.
True, but if you can get to school in three seconds by running, would you really want to stand around waiting for the bus? Plus, he’d be sitting most of the day anyway since he was going to school.
When Tails ascended from the heavens in his perfect form and uttered the words "Please be happy", I knew we had reached the pinnacle of _all_ art and philosophy. This is it. We are in Elysium.
Honestly this story gets Sonics traits out quicker than any Hollywood movie these days, where after an hour I still have no idea what the main character is about.
You see, through the use of ‘now’, the author indisputably intended to outline how students are destined to enter school premises, sacrificing their freedom to the ‘class’. Furthermore, ‘class’ denies the students and teachers alike a name; could this mean that all involved are deprived of freedom? Perhaps the author’s message was that we should not spite our teachers, nay, for they are victims of the same system that we must endure ourselves. In addition, the repeated use of dull vocabulary, such as ‘said’ and the abbreviations ‘we’re’ and ‘it’s’ serve to highlight the monotony of school and the lifelessness that students undoubtedly will one day succumb to. On top of this, the tedious, unnecessary descriptor ‘Sonic was also at school’ could reflect how utterly pointless school must feel to these poor individuals. The writer’s craft is no doubt genius, and one that acts as a cautionary tale regarding the institutions of education that have become so commonplace and mandatory in the modern world.
Imagine sitting in your shitty college class when some guy walks in, tells his gf to watch this, does a dance, then him and his gf proceed to make out for 30 minutes in front of everyone...
I love how the writer added the subtlety of making Sonic a person who goes for looks and not what is inside a person for a love interest. It is typical for a high school aged kid to only go for looks and not care for what is inside. Adding a layer of immaturity to Sonic giving opportunity's to develop his character further in later stories.
How the author breaks down the idiocity of school relationships is highly accurate. "Hey look at my dance. Impressed?" "Sure lets make out." and "Sonic hoped she would kiss him because it would make him look cooler."
Please do "Sonic and the Great War." A masterpiece, involving Skrillex, Mario, Naruto, and gender-swapped Sonic hooking up with the fanfic's author. Truly exemplifies the sheer horror of war.
I'm afraid to look that up. I managed to read all of Sonic Highschool, which I consider a personal achievement,but I don't think I have a high enough cognitohazard resistance score for whatever the fuck you just described
"Everyone thinks I'm a gay loser" Sonic said, as he carried Tails on his bed to talk about his balls problems, as Tails promised him to stay the night.
Eh, I've been on the internet since I was 11 and I turned out fine. I actually learned a lot from the mistakes I have made on here that I'm glad I never made in real life.
Sonics poop smelled so bad that his neighbors had to form a committee and have a meeting about what they should do about the smell. They decided to set up a bunch of fans.
Tails is my favorite character in this. Something about the way he speaks is vaguely unsettling; his tone of voice and what he says makes him sound like a computer pretending to be human.
Between the nasally accent, the stilted inflection on every syllable, and the microphone quality being subpar, it makes him sound like one of those text-to-speech programs.
His differences between the characters personality wise and how he's a actual animal (dead one but still) makes Tails sounds like a serial murderer that killed the original tails, replaced him and attempting to lure his friends.
I wrote cringy fanfics like this when i was little too. Now i am well versed in writing and storytelling, so yeah kids need to write stories to build a passion
Love the fact that calm, collected Fredrik Knudsen is going full OTT with Sonic, while the master of OTT, EmpLemon, is using a calm, almost monotone voice lol
TL; DR Sonic gets made fun of for having crabs in class, runs home, and then gets slightly taunted by Eggman before rescuing his friends from an abandoned sex dungeon.
Those were just the first two chapters. There's more. Good god is there more, and I read it all. Trust me when I say that these guys did you a favor by not covering the rest, because boy does it get worse.
@@holdguard4624 Honestly, I can't. I wish I could, but that whole fucking novel of a fanfiction is so chaotic and disjointed that there's basically no coherent plot for me to summarize. To give you some highlights, though, at some point Sonic eats out the lunch lady by sticking his entire head in her minge and then has to brush "vagina crumbs" off his face, and at another point, he goes all emo and dyes all his quills black, and then gets a fortune cookie at lunch and it says "You won't have any friends if you're black". Oh, and then he gets high on pot and beats the shit out of Amy. Then I think near the end the Chaos Emeralds get involved as if the author just then remembered they exist, and I think Tails dies somehow and they try to get the emeralds to resurrect him? Okay, my memory of the story is actually kinda foggy. It's been a long time since I've read it. But those are a few things that stuck with me.
@@GBart this was back from the time before people were writing this kind of stuff ironicly. If they did, then they're a fucking prophet and master of comedy.
Reminds me of when I was nine and writing my own interpretation of The Hunger Games, but forgot what Thresh’s name was, so I simply called him, “the big black man.”
For anyone who’s gone down the rabbit hole of badfic, I think you can appreciate how inept and childish this writing is compared to the sadistic/soul draining stuff that makes you genuinely concerned or just worried about the MH of the author, like that one Redwall series…
I love how you can create a psychological character profile of the writer just by reading this. His fears, his hopes, his clear yet kind of weirdly phrased homophobia. Truly a master piece of character writing.
Haha Yes Yeah, not in his stupid bitch ass Mandalore voice. He is being his true self. Seth, the Ultimate Demon Warlord of ultimate the Destruction of The Child Rights.
A warm thanks to the many members of the merchants quilde, generiously funding and bankrolling these videos you're all truly wonderful, have a good one.
@@matthewcron8842 in the inevitable extinction we'll bring about ourselves, this is probably the most representative thing about our species we could leave behind
it's so weird seeing Knudsen's voice acting on the internet historian skits as in his regular down the rabbit hole content his voice is so composed, calm and monotone
Chapter 2 really got to me. Sonic's poop is clearly an allegory of his sadness. He knows it effects others, but he cant change how it smells. Sonic's mom is just like the neighbors, them putting fans on the lawn is just like her visit ing sonic in her room, just telling him to be quiet to ignore him, like the fans just push the smell away. Such a great and beautiful metaphor. Truly an artist of our time.
Sonic.
EmpLemon
*It is time to go to class*
HE'S THE FASTEST THING ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sonic
I agree.
Poetry
"The man looked like a fat immature gay. It was Eggman."
That's quite a unique way to describe somebody.
Lol, I love how Internet Historian didn't say that part too.
Okay
@Xyre154 ok
Jimmeh Rulez okay
@@JimmehRulez are ya gonna add anything to the conversation?
You're now going to say "o k"
“We’re at school now” said tails.
“It is time to go to class” sonic was also at school.
Riveting.
Truly
Hm, quite.
A joy to read. Engaging from start to finish.
Ah yes the tales of Kithunkeant and king plantukatho.
It has been BDG
Thank god they told us. If they didn’t tell me they were at school I don’t know that I would have ever figured out they were at school. God, this fanfics plot races along without any regard to human life.
“Tails smiled wider than a crocodile having a silly dream.” Ngl kinda love that sentence.
The way he read it was kinda cute ngl 🥺
@@birdy6049 the sentence itself is cute
Makes up for the part where he's a little racist
@@DoctorCyan "despite making up only 13% of the population echidnas-"
@@geldundkokaine2569
6:38
I love that the teacher doesn’t stop reading the journal after it talks about his ball problems, she just keeps going. What a legend
Maybe she just hates him
I like how she reads about his balls, then everybody thinks his dick also has a problem.
RAID: Shadow Legends
I love how the teacher is called "Ms. *LESSON* ".
It turns out that his ball problem is a disease that only occurs over 1 million years. It kills whoever comes in contact with it. I’m not even joking.
*"You will regret this."*
- Sonic's Mom
She wasn't lying.
NOTHING BUT REGRET FROM EVERYONE INVOLVED
I'm starting to think she's secretely Eggman
Torin
*foreshadowing*
We should’ve listened.. WHY DIDNT WE LISTEN?!
Have you guys heard about *Sonic’s gay ball problem*
Yes I have. He must do it with Charmy.
"And it was sexy to everyone"
Oh no!
STOP LAUGHING
sonics w h a t
"We're at school now" said tails. "it is time to go to class" sonic was also at school, so he went to the class
Holy shit, that's some shakespeare right there
Yep.
I almost cried
its helpful because i keep forgetting where they are
Rupty, du auch hier :D
@@FAMILYGC69 I fuckin' love this guy!
"welcome to the graveyard of you" is my favorite line from any work of fiction
Sounds like a My Chemical Romance song
I swear to god, Sseth is a gift from God.
Hey hey people, Eggman here
Some fans of this fanfic have created a supposed sonic highschool uniform, i got mine and its really nice
I can't belive Hollywood whitewashed the Sonic High School limo driver.
Lmao
No it’s limo
Limão.
If only sonic secured his diary using nordvpn
This should've been said in the video.
If only Mrs. Lesson wasn’t inspired by 1984
Dashlane you mean
I read that as "Dairy" and was confused as fuck at first.
"Woah!!!"
"Looked like a person but darker" This kid is inventing racism
That was some of the most based shit I have seen.
Sonic is a gamer
I'm pretty sure that was IH's edit there.
@darklordster twitter would dox the fucking kid.
he is actually the CEO of racism
This story was published between may and august of 2012. In one of the authors notes, DarkDoomFireMaster (our scholar and hero) mentions that it’s summer and he’s ready for 8th grade. That would make him either 13 or 14 then. That means he’s 23-24 now. I wonder where he is, and how he’s doing. I wonder if he’s still proud of his magnum opus.
damn, he's abbout my age, and that reminds me of my Spyro fanfiction... Jesus, 13yo on the internet are full of cringe
@@NyesoEX I myself wrote a GTA IV fanfic (more of a shitpost really) when I was 15. I recently read it again for the first time in like 7 years and nearly died from the cringe
@@STLCODPS3123 yeah, i know what you, i won't even dare to look for my fanfic i wrote, i know it would be painful to read it of the ammount if cringe it exist there XD
The guy wrote another sonic story in 2019, he is still alive.
He who has not cringed, cast the first stone.
"nothing said Sonic" said Sonic
Fuck this is peak literature, I dont know what wall the writer broke there but it's definitely broken.
The stucco surface wall
timestamp?
@@chacharealsmooth9215 8:22
the stucco surface wall
"What is wrong, Sonic, everything is right now," said Sonic. "No it isn't," said Sonic.
This is not a very well written story, but the author did actually finish it, which is more than I can say for any of my creative endeavors.
Yeah he finished it
After 22 additional chapters
These were just the first 3 chapters out of 25
And G.R.R. Martin
Heck, even Sonic Team didn't finish the story with Forces
pretty sure it was intentionally bad. if that's the case then this guy is a genius
Pretty sure it's satire.
"Nothing, said Sonic" *_Said Sonic._*
Truly a marvel of literature of the 21st Century.
Sonic: Nothing, said Sonic
English Teachers: This is deep
@@salmonmankingoftheocean7624 no one:
SalmonMan King of the Ocean: this is deep
OK
Apeiron1
No one:
Apeiron1:
SalmonMan King of the Ocean no one:
SalmonMan King of the Ocean: This is deep
anarchyゥなビ
No one:
anarchyゥなビ :
Apeiron1
No one:
Apeiron1:
SalmonMan King Of The Ocean no one:
SalmonMan King Of The Ocean: This is deep
Coming to this from My Immortal, you really have to appreciate the duality of girls and boys fan-fiction. While one delves into make-up, clothes, relationships and bands...the other really tackles serious issues like gay(?) itchy balls and hot anger shits that smell so bad the entire neighborhood comes together to set up fans to divert the scent.
Ah yes, the two genders: gratuitous outfit descriptions, and hot angry shits.
Plot twist: the person who wrote My Immortal is male, and Sonic High was written by a high school girl.
This is why that whole theory a feminist came up with of "why do girls in media always talk about men" is bullshit lmao. That's literally just real life. Women arent deep or meaningful creatures. Their entire purpose is to pleasure men
> "You will regret this," said Sonic's mom.
Not wrong.
"You will regret this" said the mother of the kid who wrote this fanfic
nothing personnel kid
Thats foreshadowing if I ever heard it
sonic regrets everything.
There is no lie..... we will all regret this....
“Welcome to the graveyard of you” is a genuinely incredible line. It’s like a lyric straight from a mid-2000s emo album.
Cale not entirely convinced it's not a bonus track on an MCR album
@@aidanlindell2260 this comment wins
I love that Ssethtzeentach is eggman
hahaha i can hear it.
it's 100% a band name.
I love how the story about Sonics balls gets different any time someone mentions it
It perfectly shows how rumors are spread, great writing right there.
The testicular equivalent of jugemu
@@MHScald such a dynamic approach to storytelling where the finer subtleties are left up to the reader to determine instead of beating them over the head with it. Just like Edgar Allen Poe
Peak fiction
It just kept getting worse. First it was just his balls, the it was the whole tackle and shaft and by the end it managed to creep its way up the crack, too.
*Sonic was so upset he went to his locker*
Uh oh
I should NOT be laughing! 🤣😂
"that's no good"
taking notes from shadow I see
"I don't like where this is going"
Look, you dont know what you're doing here
Don’t worry guys, the poop part is very important. It’s a highly complicated character development arc.
It also comes up as a plot point on how bad his poop smells
In fact it’s one of the best anime character arcs ever.
Zuko’s redemption? Old hat. Obito’s corruption? Literally who? Sonic taking a fat shit is the real thing
I was bloody dying at that part
Oh you go to the bathroom and cry in a corner?
Nah man I just shit aggressively like I just ate Chipotle
I'm not even there yet.
“Said the limo driver who looked like a real person but darker.”
Goddamn
H E W A S B L A C C
The limo was broken eternally
Limo pool’s closed
It just says 'a person but darker', not a real person.
But that doesn't mean the kek is toppable. 'cause I can tell you right the hell now friend it sure ain't.
Sup my Tigga
I adore the fact that Sonic can run faster than the speed of sound, but still needs to catch the bus to school for some reason
I mean, even I like to sit instead of walk now and then.
True, but if you can get to school in three seconds by running, would you really want to stand around waiting for the bus? Plus, he’d be sitting most of the day anyway since he was going to school.
@@half-trackproductions Fair point.
@@half-trackproductions but like most kids, the longer you can avoid being on school grounds, the better things are.
He wants to talk to his friends
The pinnacle of film, the medium is dead now. Nothing can ever top this
Creams only make my balls sweat like a thoroughbred
@@cfdeers O O F
True since "My Immortal" ^^
Bruh moment
When Tails ascended from the heavens in his perfect form and uttered the words "Please be happy", I knew we had reached the pinnacle of _all_ art and philosophy. This is it. We are in Elysium.
“I love her for her body”
*Sonic why would u say this.*
I can't believe sonuc sees women as an object im literally fucking shaking and crying he would never do this
Angry Kirby 😭😭
Fun fact: Amy is canonically 12 years old.
COZ ME BOI IS A SAVAGE
More like Bore Ragnarok
And sonic is 16
“The man looked like a fat, immature gay. It was Eggman”
I so wish that part was read out loud
Can't say that in UA-cam anymore.
@@12q8 I mean, you can, but there will be consequences
Vallis Daemonum “you will regret this” - Susan Wojcicki
I read Eggman as Egyptian for some reason.
Me too ;(((
“Nothing said Sonic”, said Sonic.
This is a masterpiece of literature
Honestly this story gets Sonics traits out quicker than any Hollywood movie these days, where after an hour I still have no idea what the main character is about.
I would say that I pressed the like button faster than anyone, but that's a lie. Sonic did it first because he was fast (and everyone else was slow).
Did you write this?
69 likes
not
@@peterkropotkin4129 569*
I was the 1000th like! First time ever
“We’re at school now” said Tails. “It’s time to go to class”. Sonic was also at school.
English Teachers: *holy shit that’s deep*
You see, through the use of ‘now’, the author indisputably intended to outline how students are destined to enter school premises, sacrificing their freedom to the ‘class’. Furthermore, ‘class’ denies the students and teachers alike a name; could this mean that all involved are deprived of freedom? Perhaps the author’s message was that we should not spite our teachers, nay, for they are victims of the same system that we must endure ourselves.
In addition, the repeated use of dull vocabulary, such as ‘said’ and the abbreviations ‘we’re’ and ‘it’s’ serve to highlight the monotony of school and the lifelessness that students undoubtedly will one day succumb to. On top of this, the tedious, unnecessary descriptor ‘Sonic was also at school’ could reflect how utterly pointless school must feel to these poor individuals.
The writer’s craft is no doubt genius, and one that acts as a cautionary tale regarding the institutions of education that have become so commonplace and mandatory in the modern world.
Ben Hughes You are scaring me
@@emblemblade9245 he's simply displaying the fine craft of bullshitting and overanalyzing to make something seem deep
Lin C. is it possible to learn this power?
@@danielscott2292 study literature?
Imagine sitting in your shitty college class when some guy walks in, tells his gf to watch this, does a dance, then him and his gf proceed to make out for 30 minutes in front of everyone...
I mean probably better than sitting through most college lectures lmao
Yeah that must turn you on pretty hard if i have to believe this story.
What an alpha
If that isn’t romance, then I don’t want it
Bruh this dude really making aut with his gf 😳
Only at sonic high school 😂
I love how the writer added the subtlety of making Sonic a person who goes for looks and not what is inside a person for a love interest. It is typical for a high school aged kid to only go for looks and not care for what is inside. Adding a layer of immaturity to Sonic giving opportunity's to develop his character further in later stories.
or the author is just projecting
The line is basically "I don't keep her around for her brains", which is still a douchebag thing to say
Don't know who you hung out with in high school, I guess my friends weren't all douchebags who dated for sex appeal.
"Looked like a person, but darker colored."
Eh, I've been called worse.
OOOHHHHFFFFFFFFF........... right in the real....
H.P. Lovecraft-style writing.
@@satriaputrapratama4703 oh those damn scientists calling poor people of color negros and other bad words! BE DAMNED SCIENCE YOU RACISTS SHITE!
ShadowZeroFlame Those evil spanish speaking people, saying that black is "negro"... xD
@@ShadowZeroFlame It's illegal to have anime pfp and use 'racist,' I hereby revoke your anime pfp privelages
i watched this video really fast and i didnot even stop along the way
Ah, I see that you too have exquisite taste in Sonic fan fiction. Good shit Rusty.
All my favorite YTs have gathered. This is some Argonauts shit right here
Damn I didn’t think you’d be here
Oh great, it's him...
we need to get rusty to voice characters
Theory: Mrs Lesson is actually Sonic's mom and she purposely picked that journal lesson as revenge for sonic not eating breakfast
GD Semi Epic game theory.
GD Semi Epic game theory
GD Semi Epic game theory
GD Semi Epic game theory
GD Semi Epic game theory
How the author breaks down the idiocity of school relationships is highly accurate. "Hey look at my dance. Impressed?" "Sure lets make out." and "Sonic hoped she would kiss him because it would make him look cooler."
Let's just appreciate that the limo driver "looked like a person, but darker."
'THE LIMO IS BROKEN..........ETERNALLY!!!!'
OK.
C o l o u r e d
yeah they look similar to us..
Sounds like me.
Please do "Sonic and the Great War." A masterpiece, involving Skrillex, Mario, Naruto, and gender-swapped Sonic hooking up with the fanfic's author. Truly exemplifies the sheer horror of war.
I'm afraid to look that up. I managed to read all of Sonic Highschool, which I consider a personal achievement,but I don't think I have a high enough cognitohazard resistance score for whatever the fuck you just described
Does it involve Sega, Anime, and Skrillex as the Triple Entente, and Nintendo as the Central Powers?
This sounds amazing.
Skrillex is an ok guy but geeze his fans are something else
That sounds like hell
"Welcome to the graveyard of you." is my favourite line from anything ever.
Benersan the Bread right up there with “welcome to die”
Most metal thing I've heard since the emo era
Using taxidermy fox fail for Tails was an inspired choice.
“Welcome to the graveyard of you” is my new favorite villain line
Especially when it's being delivered by rabbi sseth
It could be an actually threatening line in a different context
@Potato King it do
X-Men! Welcome... TO DIE!
My earbuds came unplugged during this while I was in public and I have never been more terrified in my life
Ahahah
Bruh
You were watching this in public????
doesn't every device automatically pause stuff if headphones are unplugged?
Ferb Cosplay no.
So its canon that Jeff the killer went to the same High School as Sonic?
Deepest lore.
Enoby was there too
*L O R E O F T H E G R E A T E S T D E P T H*
@@zeche8477 Sonic was created by Enoby's abra katabra. Mrs Lesson hired the bullys that made jeff a killer.
Jeff became voldemort.
fan fiction cinematic universe
Now we just have to relate this to my immortal more
"Everyone thinks I'm a gay loser" Sonic said, as he carried Tails on his bed to talk about his balls problems, as Tails promised him to stay the night.
Man am I glad to not have internet access for most of my childhood.
Haha same
OK Lincoln.
Yea, to bad this generation does.
@@JimmehRulez I changed my profile picture so this reply won't make any sense now...
Eh, I've been on the internet since I was 11 and I turned out fine. I actually learned a lot from the mistakes I have made on here that I'm glad I never made in real life.
"Said the limo driver, who looked like a person but darker colored"
-•- -- ••--•- -
Scp 106
hol up
Dats rite
"Sonics gay ball problem"
We have peaked
only gay people have balls i guess
@Flint_cock Wood_from-PS3 are you ok?
@Flint_cock Wood_from-PS3 sometimes it's really hard to tell in youtube comments lol
@yo what’s good my homie Kinda lame joke tbh.
@yo what’s good my homie And this video was over a year ago.
RIP to the extremely talented musician.
Sonics poop smelled so bad that his neighbors had to form a committee and have a meeting about what they should do about the smell. They decided to set up a bunch of fans.
@Higgs Bonbon no
It was a mad poop!
I just love that Internet's Historian's awkward pauses in that moment
It was a mad... p o o p
You could say that they are some kind of sonic...fan...club.
This feels like an AI was trained on every fanfiction on the internet and then generated a story from that.
Which justifies the limo driver being "almost a person". As you know, AI's trained by the internet tend to get a little _hittlery._
To me it sounds like a "romantic" fan fiction written by a 9 year old which is way too much into sonic the hedgehog.
@@sam-psonsmith9951 and then sonic did hot secks with amy
Haydut Eğeme understandable
@@emrekaraman6877 no, he *do* hot secks
Tails is my favorite character in this. Something about the way he speaks is vaguely unsettling; his tone of voice and what he says makes him sound like a computer pretending to be human.
I genuinely got so unnerved whenever I saw that taxidermy fox.
Between the nasally accent, the stilted inflection on every syllable, and the microphone quality being subpar, it makes him sound like one of those text-to-speech programs.
I thought he looked beautiful.
Tails looks and sounds like he’d be in one of those surreal animations where you have no idea what’s going on
His differences between the characters personality wise and how he's a actual animal (dead one but still) makes Tails sounds like a serial murderer that killed the original tails, replaced him and attempting to lure his friends.
"Get out of here." yelled eggman calmly
Damnit JK Rowling
I think more children should be encouraged to write full stories. It lacks any sense of subtlety or story structure, it's beautiful.
I wrote cringy fanfics like this when i was little too. Now i am well versed in writing and storytelling, so yeah kids need to write stories to build a passion
You need to be the fool now, so you can be the ruler down the road, as a HippoGriff once said.
Anyone who has ever written like this should go off themselves
Too bad they all write fetish stuff.
Dvix
"He looked like a fat immature gay" is quite possibly the best character description I've ever heard
Lmao
tony stark from endgame be like that
Yeah but what about, "looked like a person but darker colored"?
@@Istayton95 dear god i'm glad i missed that one
@@husband-of-chinggis haha he didn't read that part out loud, he turned back haha. It's in the text describing the limo driver
The homoerotic tension between tails and sonic in this is too much for me
You noticed as well I see
Same
Gay.
I legitimately cannot watch because of how disgusting tails looks
@@nicolasnunez8388 lol
Love the fact that calm, collected Fredrik Knudsen is going full OTT with Sonic, while the master of OTT, EmpLemon, is using a calm, almost monotone voice lol
"Nothing said Sonic,"
SAID SONIC.
“”Nothing said Sonic,” said Sonic” said sonic
"The limo is broken eternally." Has an ominous energy to it.
"Lets go"
@@SeriousBusinessman. who are you? Why are you in my house? Can you feed me?
@@ThatAdagio ALL OF THESE QUESTIONS AND MANY MORE ANSWERED IN *the field*
Like-persons-but-darker-colored are known to have mysterious insights that way.
Scp 283746-A the eternally broken limo driven by scp 283746-B Who looks like *REDACTED*
i feel like the person who wrote this just needed a way to cope with their itchy ball problem
Yeah, itchy balls was the least of the author’s problems
@@llumas975 i think it's the smooth brain.
They had more than just itchy balls.
Gay ball problems*
@@Flycanjack To call them stupid is... not encompassing enough, somehow. Maddened? Driven to lunacy? Absolutely bonkers? Those sound more like it tbh.
WHY DID YOU CUT OUT "The man looked like a fat immature gay" THATS MY FAVORITE PART
Sorry, I didn't notice it got cut until I started reading the comments! I remember recording and laughing at that line. Damn.
I for one appreciate that I'm not in this trainwreck.
I'm worried about that. The story gets way more funny later on with the disturbing content, I'm afraid it will get censored...
TL; DR
Sonic gets made fun of for having crabs in class, runs home, and then gets slightly taunted by Eggman before rescuing his friends from an abandoned sex dungeon.
Those were just the first two chapters. There's more. Good god is there more, and I read it all. Trust me when I say that these guys did you a favor by not covering the rest, because boy does it get worse.
@@generalrubbish9513 Good to know.
Mário Ďuráč Could you please give a summary without going too into detail? I’m curious, but not THAT curious.
@@holdguard4624 Honestly, I can't. I wish I could, but that whole fucking novel of a fanfiction is so chaotic and disjointed that there's basically no coherent plot for me to summarize. To give you some highlights, though, at some point Sonic eats out the lunch lady by sticking his entire head in her minge and then has to brush "vagina crumbs" off his face, and at another point, he goes all emo and dyes all his quills black, and then gets a fortune cookie at lunch and it says "You won't have any friends if you're black". Oh, and then he gets high on pot and beats the shit out of Amy. Then I think near the end the Chaos Emeralds get involved as if the author just then remembered they exist, and I think Tails dies somehow and they try to get the emeralds to resurrect him?
Okay, my memory of the story is actually kinda foggy. It's been a long time since I've read it. But those are a few things that stuck with me.
Mário Ďuráč that’s a drug trip and a half
“You should tell everyone that it is okay to have problems with your balls”
that is the best thing I’ve ever heard emplemon say
“Creams only made his ball sweat smell like the breath of a thoroughbred” really broke me for some reason
"Sonic didn't like english class very much..."
Was the author projecting?
You are asking the right question there. Now I wanna refer you back to Sonics hygiene problem, have fun with that.
@@AldiePezeh I’m assuming he picked that one up from his dog
I'm pretty sure the bad writing is intentional - they're trying to imitate the style of Half Life: Full Life Consequences
@@GBart this was back from the time before people were writing this kind of stuff ironicly.
If they did, then they're a fucking prophet and master of comedy.
@@LaskyLabs this pre-dates that?? Are you sure?
_”The limo is broken,”_ said the limo driver who looked like a person but *darker coloured*
*casually implies black people aren't people in a sonic fanfiction
The limo is *eternally* broken
Reminds me of when I was nine and writing my own interpretation of The Hunger Games, but forgot what Thresh’s name was, so I simply called him, “the big black man.”
@@jeremiahbennett3004 Children are quite wise
Oh my
“I kissed Amy and now you can never date her again.” - Dio- I mean Egg Man, 2019.
Lmao
"You thought your first kiss would be with sonic but it was me, EGGMAN"
Box Man KONO DIO DA
Is Sonic a JoJo reference??? :O
Actuall jojo reference
For anyone who’s gone down the rabbit hole of badfic, I think you can appreciate how inept and childish this writing is compared to the sadistic/soul draining stuff that makes you genuinely concerned or just worried about the MH of the author, like that one Redwall series…
you wouldnt think that if you read the rest of it
@@golden-notWhat is he even talking about?
The ironic part was that Sonic was too slow to stop the teacher from reading it
Here’s a theory... he wanted her to read it... he’s got a humiliation kink.
@@gigithegob9332 Oh yeah, call me balls itchy.
Guess he wasn't that fast after all
the whole "written by a child" thing was convincing up until "They smelled like the breath of a thoroughbred"
farm boi?
Might have been written by a horse girl
Yeah, that whole part with the stucco and the rest gave it away.
Either an older sibling was asked to write that section or it was copy pasted from somewhere else
My guess is they heard it in a movie or have a family member who says that phrase a lot.
I can’t be the only one who thought this was gonna end with Sonic shooting up his school.
Spoilers!
Better that than it becoming erotic fanfiction
[Pumped up kicks plays in the distance]
There's actually 25 chapters of this fanfic and in chapter 4 Shadow says he's going to kill his parents lmao
“You’re too slow!” Said Sonic. Sonic was covered in blood (not his) and semen (his).
I love how you can create a psychological character profile of the writer just by reading this. His fears, his hopes, his clear yet kind of weirdly phrased homophobia. Truly a master piece of character writing.
I think the homophobic parts are because he was a dumb kid when he wrote this
It's so legitimately funny that every time someone brings up Sonics ball issue they add a different body part.
Cognitohazardous reality-bending meme
@DANIEL RODRIGUEZ I mean it's a disease that becomes more complex each time it's discussed, seems like an uncontained anomaly to me.
@DANIEL RODRIGUEZ why... Apollyon?
the prom is tonight also
Everybody gangsta until Sonic catches a cognitohazardous version of SCP-610!
"welcome to a graveyard of you" is some serious Shakespearean BS
It's so fucking stupid that it turns back around into being good.
@Gamer Man Like a taking back sunday lyric
"No creams have worked. Creams only make my ball sweat smell like the breath of a thoroughbred."
There is a genius behind this.
Cream, like, the character in the Sonic universe?
@@vouge6750 oh no
@@vouge6750 yessn't A.K.A Well yes but actually no.
@@Grumplebumple Yz
Step aside, Hemingway. We have a new master of prose.
I completely lost it when the teacher started reading his journal entry. This is a gem.
This is going to get all the awards it deserves. Gangsta’s Paradise won’t help you now Sonic Movie
What also won't help the Sonic Movie?
Fixing the way Sonic looks while keeping everything else sh*t.
*G A Y B A L L P R O B L E M S*
No!! Not the gay ball problems!!!
Anything but the gay ball problems...
Wow I read this 666 likes right when the election crackhead thing
Thanks for your input,@I gRape Babies!
Ever since I first watched this about once a week I suddenly think “gay ball problem” and can’t stop laughing
The Merchant’s Guild will not forgive this slight, Blue Devil.
@barnyard No, consult the rhombus of knowledge first!
Oy vay
Whats with the jc denton avatars?
@@DrymouthCWW its a joke that some fortnite UA-camr started with his zoomer fans, they don't know shit about dues ex tho.
Shalom
"because Tails still needed help"
>cuts to the most miserable fox that exists
Damn bro, I think he needs more help than you can give him, Sonic
Sonic: "I love her for her body"
....
The deepest truest thoughts of every teenage boy ever.
So not only did Eggman not get defeated, or do anything, but Sonic also probably has a fungal infection in his crotch.
Masterpiece.
Spoilers D:
The Black Baron I disagree, I haven’t seen this video yet but I am now interested even more. Spoilers :D
Imagine writing this at the age of twelve and being haunted by it a decade later.
Sometimes great art needs to embraced
Sometimes it takes time for true art to be appreciated.
This couldn't be serious
*5
You gotta start somewhere
I love it when the authors just get bored with one prompt so they just ignore it and start another
"The limo is broken', said the limo driver who looked like a person but darker colored."
Didn't expect this from a sonic fanfic.
It's broken E T E R N A L L Y
@@Karanthaneos how long will that be then?
Bendy Snowball E T E R N A L L Y
@@topazxy5809 oh thanks for clarifying
Bendy Snowball my P L E A S U R E
the fact that Sseth just speaks in his normal weird-ass cadence and tone makes me very happy
Haha Yes Yeah, not in his stupid bitch ass Mandalore voice. He is being his true self. Seth, the Ultimate Demon Warlord of ultimate the Destruction of The Child Rights.
A warm thanks to the many members of the merchants quilde, generiously funding and bankrolling these videos you're all truly wonderful, have a good one.
HEY HEY PEOPLE
I want this to be the only trace of humanity left when we all go extinct
They should have etched this on the 9gag stone.
@@kndr2094 the whole script
Is this what you want the aliens to find
@@matthewcron8842 yes
@@matthewcron8842 in the inevitable extinction we'll bring about ourselves, this is probably the most representative thing about our species we could leave behind
Fredrik's reading of the line at 17:08 is one of the big reasons why I always come back to this video. It cracks me up every time.
HE CAN'T
GET OUT
THE CAGE
*"'The limo is broken,' said the limo driver who looked like a person but darker colored."*
"It is broken eternally."
Ryan Gosling is dark colored, whaaaaaaaaaat????????
Wait hows he get here
(also broken eternally hahahahahahahahahaha)
Who would have throught the idiot who wrote this was also a racist
EasyBakeOrphan wow aren't we edgy
I wonder if the kid who wrote this is okay
Now or when he wrote this?
@@Venislovas when he wrote this he was 7 yrs old and his friends did tell hom some weird shit.
I wonder if hes gonna die of cringe when he sees this in 10 years.. :D
or maybe he got lice in his balls who knows
Shit's sad
"Welcome to the Graveyard"
alright
"of you"
*_OH FRICK_*
Sseth is a gift
I’m your 1000 like
"And sonic was just so embarrassed, and mad, and sad, but more embarrassed"
God Tier Writing
I’m disappointed that nobody is giving Fredrik Knudsen credit for his amazing sonic impression
Wait...that voice came out of Frederik Knudsen?!
@@pixelbucket8884 Knudsen did a pretty good Morty impression on Internet Historian's Redoing GoT vid too. Guy's good with his voice.
it's so weird seeing Knudsen's voice acting on the internet historian skits as in his regular down the rabbit hole content his voice is so composed, calm and monotone
He sounded like a white Chris rock
Who voiced who? Fucking hell... but yeah, you're right, the guy doing Sonic is amazing.
"Looked like a person but darker colored" has to be the best description when you're really trying to not be racist but fail miserably.
the kind of statement i wouldnt be able to distinguish from a biden comment XD
@@jaycoops6886 I’m pretty sure internet historian changed it from something actually racist
Sounds like something Michael Scott would say.
@Jay Coops no it actually says that on the fanfic
@@tubasil8786 why the fuck would he even?
Its also a great example of "chekhov's gun" why do we need to know what the limo driver looks like he isn't apart of the story in a significant way?
"The worst part of being faster than light is that you live your whole life in darkness" -- Sonic The Hedgehog
All around me are familiar faces...
My current age is 14 and I find this philosophically deep.
"Hey Amy, why did you go tell rouge about how hard we kissed? *Colon, Closed parenthesis* "
*Stephen Spielberg Sheds a tear*
'NOTHING SAID SONIC' said Sonic.
I died.
Fucking same
F
RIP
"Nic powiedział Sonik" powiedział Sonik
"What's wrong Sonic? everything is fine now" said sonic
Chapter 2 really got to me. Sonic's poop is clearly an allegory of his sadness. He knows it effects others, but he cant change how it smells. Sonic's mom is just like the neighbors, them putting fans on the lawn is just like her visit ing sonic in her room, just telling him to be quiet to ignore him, like the fans just push the smell away. Such a great and beautiful metaphor.
Truly an artist of our time.
“I kissed Amy and now you cannot date her” Ok Dio
You were expecting some form of overused JoJo reference...
TOO BAD, WALUIGI TIME!
Where did his tshirt go?? After he ran to the bus
you were expecting another jojo reference but
nobody expects the Spanish insquition
@@erenyeagar2928 he ran so fast it fell off
I legit thought the same thing!
0:37
the fact there's just fat fetish art of amy framed and hung on sonic's bedroom wall is so funny for whatever reason
The Internet Historian is rumored to look like a person but darker colored
blacc