Beautifully explained! The last toxic relationship i was involved in naturally turned from a dream to a nightmare. However, it taught me many valuable lessons about myself. The childhood wounds that never healed that drew me to this type of person. It allowed me to see that i was part of the problem, and i started on the path to identify those childhood wounds and heal myself. Out of something bad came something good. Thanks for your coaching and guidance Stephanie. Greatly appreciated. May you have a very happy Thanksgiving!
How long were u in the toxic relationship for? And how long were in it before u found out it was toxic and/or abusive? Did u leave shortly after u found out u were being manipulated? Sorry for all the questions 😅 I was just in a relationship that my have been slightly toxic bcz it wld get to the point she wld get a little mad at me. And she was sometimes violent with only her voice sometimes a little more. Sometimes it wld be what I believe may have been manipulation or gaslighting and then blew up phone if i tried to leave or even cool off. But it took me over 2 decades to figure out this stuff. But thought for sure that she' was Narcissistic. But then I asked if she was a Narcissist and she got really mad and said no. So i have to give her the benefit of the doubt right? When she had me on lock-down in my own home and hid my car keys and cell phones and wldnt let me leave....that's when I walked out and haven't been back since....it's been two or three days already
God is faithful. Greetings from Ghana. I like ur comment on this. Pls. Can u share with some of the childhood wounds u had as u stated in your comments? Thank u
Wow! You just explained my recently-ended 4 year long relationship with the person I thought who was my soulmate. E discarded me 6 weeks ago and it was so cruel and heartless how he behaved towards the end. I still get shivers when I think about it. He flaunted his new girlfriend and did everything to hurt me as much as he could like the pain of the discard wasn't enough. I was so confused and was looking for answers to how someone could go from so loving to cold hearted instantly. It felt so unnatural to me. I know I cannot hurt someone like that ever not even to my worst enemy. There were so many red flags that I chose to ignore. He cheated and gaslighted. But I kept forgiving him I don't know why I did. This was the most painful thing I had to go through in my life even though my childhood was also a disaster. I learnt the most powerful lesson, I will work on myself and heal myself and come out from the other end stronger. To anyone who's going through this or already went through this, I am so sorry, and my heart goes out for all of you. No human deserve to be hurt this way. I don't know how some people can be so cruel and heartless, it's still shocking to me. But please know that you are not alone in this. We will get through this. Sending everyone big big hugs and healing energy. This shall too pass. ❤
Wow she hits the mark ☺️ it’s scary. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry when I think now of past relationships. At least I see them for what they were a lot more clearly now. Thanks for breaking it down Stephanie 💪🏼
Yes with narcissists major red flags are manipulation with emotions, epic cheating, and blaming everything wrong with relationship on you plus all the mental emotional abuse and torture. I feel for everyone especially with spouses or family members I have my mother sisters and two daughters loves of my life what do you do??? Horrific!!
Epic cheating!!!!! Still an understatement, but well put. My narcissistic ex wife had an amazing unreal ability to deny and justify in the same spoken sentence.
What sucks is when you say what you would like and they say “ I’ll work on that” and they do this for a long period of time till you realize they aren’t going to.. and when they formally said they’d do counseling, they’re now saying they won’t. 🤦🏼♀️
Finally, i think i understand what i have been going through in the last five years. the first two years she was everything i ever wished for, then she began her theatrics, emotional abuse, gas lighting and silent treatment. she knew she had me hooked....... then the discard began. i held on to the picture she potrayed in the first few years, this made me to put her on pedestral. thank you coach, you opened my eyes
That's true stef, there was no attraction for real in first place. Their pursuit overwhelms u n one thing leads to another n finally you find yourself in their life only to realise u didn't want them.
That's exactly what happened to me.....now its 32 years later and in the process of a divorce that i desperately need but he absolutely doesn't want....I'm exhausted 😒
Amazing how different things look when you analyze them from outside of the relationship. While in the thick of it, you question yourself and what is happening…. 🤪. Thank God for people like you who are willing and able to help us see the situation with a fresh set eyes. Thank you!
@@chriswyma145Wow!! That is the understatement of the year!! 😉👍 They almost convince a person that they are dealing with someone who cares, until you realize how much they don't 😂
@justsmile tarot you are on the wrong thread. We don't want our ex back. You would do better if you advertised how to keep our ex away and not attract anyone else like them again ever. Lol
Thank you Stephanie! Been living in a world of denial for the past 16 yrs and you hit the mark on so many points. Thank you for all you do and helping educate me on what and why I felt so confused all these years.
DETECTING PATTERNS is KEY for those of us in transition from past harming patterns. WE need to key into the specific phrases that continue to give us an un-easy gut reaction. TIP: 1. Make an inventory of these statements. 2. Make it mandatory to combat this with WORDS TO YOURSELF that are accurate and kind. 3. Create and recite an affirmation each morning, specific to you, detailing you deserve happiness. BEST PRACTICES and WISHES to us ALL!
This video is perfect. Every sentence invaluable and so very true. The examples and explanations spot on, so easy to get and implement . I Thank you so much Stephanie.
I love the way you traced the relationship from the beginning to the end. And it does make sense now that I reflect on my own past relationship. I am thankful that I see what it is that I caused and what they did. I take responsibility for my actions and I hope I can forgive myself one day. I am just glad that I see things for what they really are, not for what I desire. As hard as it was, as needed that experience was. Realising my own self worth after all the manipulation is the best thing that has happened to me in years. The experience is eye opening to what it is that I am and what it is that I am not. Finally putting healthy boundaries is the little prize I got after the pain I felt. Thank you Stephanie! I appreciate the work you put into these videos!
I really wish I found your videos 3 months ago when my ex broke up with me. This video really changed a lot about how I’ve been feeling. I didn’t know until now that I was possibly in a relationship with a narcissist.
Thanks Stephanie. The "craving" linked with a wound hits home and relates to the painful components of these experiences. What I find helps me is to not identify the feelings as good or bad or feelings that should be accepted or not accepted. If we are in a painful relationship, I believe it means that we are learning a lesson, and it has less to do with the other person. A lot of my fear in relationships comes from self doubt which then creates a false perception of the other person. We are all accountable for our own experiences and can all have what we truly want
Yes! Agree I'm greatful to the women who called me and told me who he really was. He told me he wished I never found out. I would of found out at his funeral when all the ladies showed up
This is exactly how my relationship of 3 years went with my narc ex girlfriend. Couple days ago she had this tantrum over a argument and that was just enough. Always gaslighting, Extreme shifts of mood could be crying heavily and laugh because something was funny to them in that moment its really insane. im now starting my healing process and working heavily on myself. thank you for your videos they been helping a lot!
She was a dream come true,. She gave me all of her time and attention. It started taking over myself care routine . Took away from me taking my dogs to the park. When I started setting boundaries, that’s when the devaluation and the ghosting began with her. Our pattern of hanging out changed. When we had plans, she canceled and said she was with her friend.
How sad is this… 23 years ago I told my marine boyfriend at the time that if my dad didn’t give you the time of day that I couldn’t be with him and my dad(totally narcissistic) actually shook his hand and I ultimately married him, 3 kids and 23 years as a military spouse later… my dad asked me to not resent him for shaking his hand 23 years later 😢😢😢
I would be a complete mess if I didn’t know about narcissism. I started sticking up for myself and holding my husband accountable; I was immediately discarded while pregnant.
Nice sweater. Thank you for your videos, and for your encouragement. Your advice in the advice of a few other people on UA-cam have really help shine the spotlight on what has been happening in my life. I see all my relationships from a much different perspective now and, setting up a barriers so that my boundaries are no longer pushed is easier. I'm 41, I'm a single white male and very appreciative of your work. Thank you again. And although my children are not on here, the affects of your teaching me I can teach to them, so on their behalf I think you as well.
saying your clips are one of my favorite ones I like to listen to is an understatement. I just wish I would have heard of you years ago. God knows, things would be different. Thx Stephanie.
I so love your coaching, advise, help. I wish so much I could afford to get some private coaching. I’m sitting here alone on Thanksgiving while he is traveling in other states doing what he wants. I need help.
Omg this is so totally now happening, on the eng when I traying to divorce, he is saying and promising everything to be nice again. But all this game" make people crazy...I don't realy understand anyone where is reality of my relationship...Thank you.. I will try to be strong on this believe that everything is fake..
The minute i started speaking up he moved out and in with his mother and we going through a stressful and frustrating divorce, his dragging things out, i am seeing behaviors that literally 😮makes me wonder why i married him
Dr Grande; Dr Les Carter, Dr Romani, and others are all brilliant in their work and help people no end but gotta say the way this vid flowed from beginning to end in such a logical/coherent way was masterly done and a credit to you as an helper to your fellow man/woman, can’t help thinking that you’ve been through the mill in a way similar (although not the same) to Job in the Bible who eventually came out of all his trials and tribulations blessed by God to a great degree and thereby give us hope and comfort if we meditate on his wonderful example. I appreciate the time and your expertise that you share with us who have been confused for many a day, thank you.
What confuses me is that he doesn’t cut me down with words. He’s not a nightmare. He’s quiet. Closed off. Trauma in the shadows that he won’t even venture into so why would he tell me. I see a lot of him in what you said but that. He’s not a monster. And honestly I don’t think he is aware or he just thinks it’s normal but then so do I cuz he’s like the 3rd same kinda relationship yet this time he’s not violent at all. Calm and balanced yet cold and distant. Great sense of humor and talks in circles when feeling cornered into talking feelings. But then I’ve always been ok with it. I just woke up to it and have no clue how to handle it so I wait patiently for a sign.
I should have left months ago. Keeping me from his friend group and then acting like he hated me in front of them. I sick and tired of being made to look like the bad guy by narcs.
Great video, you explain concepts really well. One thing to note, so much of the content you explain is heteronormative and relies very heavily on stereotypical and cliche desires.. Like the whole wanting to be flaunted or taken on holidays or being showered in gifts (like a dozen red roses). I get that you need to stick to basics that resonate with a certain type of audience, but it can feel very alienating to everyone who doesn't fit that very narrow narrative, and it can also lead to people dismissing unhealthy behaviour because it doesn't fit the descriptions parroted by so many therapist/coaches.
I'm curious to know the actual statistics of the people that have done the healing work to overcome childhood abuse and trauma, versus those that haven't. Many people were unknowingly raised in abusive and unhealthy environments and this is their normal. Unless, they learn otherwise in their adult life. I knew very early on with my ex that he was a narcissist. But, after many years of being single and dating in a large metropolitan City I became convinced that this was as good as it gets. Everybody's got that something their living and dealing with. So I knowingly settled and made the best of things in the relationship until I couldn't do it anymore. I was single over 6 years on this round. My prior last significant relationship I was single and celebate 17 years while raising my son as a single parent. You don't control who comes into your life, but you do control how long they stay.
I have learned so much about narcissists. However, as they are damaged and cannot be reformed-- what happens to them? Who will care for them or help them? I am just curious- what happens to them? Are they just discarded by everyone? Just wondering… As an empath, I distance myself but can’t help but wonder what happens to them after everyone rejects and abandons them?
I think this is a valid question. My mother in law is a narc and has alienated all of her sources of care. Now she’s elderly and has no circle of friends or family left, because of her narc behavior. So I wonder too sometimes what happens to narcs when they have caused everyone to leave.
Difficult to say - but I think the authentic people will get terribly hurt and leave. The hanger-ons will stay usually for money etc. The problem is once the narcs ages or suffers ill health and can no longer provide whatever benefit(s) they were providing then I imagine they are in for a hard time. The reality is we are all getting older and things change as we age - our looks, health, our ability to provide in the same way. Maybe this is the time the saying "what goes round comes round" will take real meaning. I'm no expert but just from my own experiences narcs or not - I really believe you reap what you sow. He (narcs) actually said that to me a few months ago - but of course, he doesn't think he's done anything wrong.
@@AJ-kb9hf nope they never do! I’m sorry! I know it’s frustrating! They never can see what THEY have done! Sheesh! I could talk to you for hours about this! Even when you confront a narc about their wrong behavior they just don’t see it as wrong! My mother in law told my 4 year old daughter that If she wasn’t nice to her, that she would take her daddy away from her. I confronted her about this statement and she literally said “what do you think is wrong about me saying that?”🤷🏼♀️ It was in that moment that I knew what I was up against. 😞
Hey Steph you look great love the glasses! Watching after a while off! Lots of narcs in my life now my family mother two daughters one from a rape possibly wasn’t aware of pregnancy but I had a child Jesus said. Just not sure wonder why my body changed lol! Anyway thank you for video they passed away I’m all alone but I hear them from the other side or heaven. I love them but they can be abusive and epic cheats haha anyhoo saying hello babe! Thinking of you! Happy thanksgiving!!? Give Ryan a high five and hello for me.
Excellent psychological analysation and feel that statement runs true and deep to the situations i create for myself. It takes like a few weeks to several months to wake up and realize wtf... I've called it happening and observed it take place systematically, but never truly realized that it's my own flaws projecting into others that actually fails me, while a lot of these people are who and what they are, it's my awakening time that's abusive to myself. I hate being the son of a narc. Had really just fucked my whole life... Hard to forgive, especially when the narcissistic sabotage continues.. narcissist s shouldn't be aloud to have kids - thru don't know how to love unconditionally and it really fucks kids up well into their adulthood. Sad. Narcism is the worst slow killer there is. I've tried killing myself over a handful of times and obviously been unsuccessful, but round 8 is coming soon i promise... They say you have to fail repeatedly to succeed... My destiny awaits. F U narcs
The best F U to narcs would be to live a happy life. Live your best life. Heal and thrive. That shows them they have no power over you. They hate that. And it is good for you as well!
How do you avoid not putting this person above when the narcissist is your boss (director of HR, nonetheless). I gray rock the heck out of her to avoid giving her more information than she needs.
I have had my eyes opened to someone I thought was my best friend that I just put up with constant abuse with little bits of niceness sprinkled in. But man, now that I see it I can't unsee it. I'm so hurt by her I feel like I need some thereapy to help me through it. She's conditioned me to question myself constantly and now I'm still questioning things. But this person is not the person I thought she was...
Yes, this is the worst!!! I guess you have to concentrate on their bad sides, cause everyone has them but your mind just chooses to ignore them. And this is really hard, when you only know them by chat.
Is it okay to pick i It my shush Why is it they can’t just say how they feel? Why is it when you say how you feel and I’m in what you need.. The covert immediately tells you your cause a argument!! Now I know common sense!! When your sharing how you feel and how they are making you feel that is not the definition of a argument period..Why is it the Covert can be so real for so long? I have 30 years invested in this marriage I’m disabled I have a home I have animals I can’t just jump up and sale the home and dump the animals For goodness we rescued them now I have to dump them! Is there a course that teaches you how to cope with them. He has Cancer that can only go in remission! Will never be Can ER free again! I prayed and prayed and prayed to God to help me understand why we were okay for so many years Before he ever emotionally abused me!! He knew where I came from and that I would not tolerate emotional abuse or physical..He thinks the into abuse is if he hits and since he didn’t hit me He’s not abusive..Why do they refuse to go to get help for themselves? Is it possible you could be dealing with a co-dependent in a Covert? I don’t fully understand the covert and what the agenda is!! Why is money so important to them.. To where they will actually live a 10 years life behind you back and make you struggle to pay the bills while they are only giving part of their pay check to make ends meet!! All the while your struggling time and time again to just pay the bills and keep them on and make him happy..Why is it they want you to do what makes them happy Although when you look for who is caring for you in times of trouble like now..He’s not on board He helps in the house when he’s point blank told what to do time and time again Bit to literally come in and save the day for me on his own That will never happen! Let him fall my name is called all day everyday even disabled to make sure all system are right..I would love to learn more about the covert everyone what’s to speak of the OVERT I just knew I had gotten away from all my family life time of drama Until 2012-2013 He lost his parents and he took his pin out on me!! Yes I tried everything to help him thinking it was the parent death that made him flip! I just want to live in my house safe and sound since I’m disabled If he can’t speak normally and treat me like a human being not like The gum in the bottom of his shoe!! I didn’t I give and I give and I give and it’s never enough They take everything from us and leave us with nothing and thing that’s funny rough tk say the lease location for a pregnant! It’s not it’s hurts and I’m tired of him acting like he cares and he will be there for me etc. etc. Its been to confusing this entire year all the lies have came out non of which ai would ever want my family to see! Yes when we want out of the hell of a home he calls it with me now Remember just the other day I could never be repacked 🙌🌹We will attach to anything to change it!! I so dress I would love any advice on how to survive at least this coming year as he can’t go to work..I can’t leave a helpless man who once w showed me what today was!! I don’t know what’s going on with her that’s daubs
How the hell did she know I was looking for the woman of my dreams 😍 I think shes a psychic or psychiatrist ? Ya oh my ideas are not always the best for my heart true,, but I'm no quitter ask my doctor! Yep I'm surrpressed and depressed and abused by my government!
Beautifully explained! The last toxic relationship i was involved in naturally turned from a dream to a nightmare. However, it taught me many valuable lessons about myself. The childhood wounds that never healed that drew me to this type of person. It allowed me to see that i was part of the problem, and i started on the path to identify those childhood wounds and heal myself. Out of something bad came something good. Thanks for your coaching and guidance Stephanie. Greatly appreciated. May you have a very happy Thanksgiving!
How long were u in the toxic relationship for? And how long were in it before u found out it was toxic and/or abusive? Did u leave shortly after u found out u were being manipulated?
Sorry for all the questions 😅
I was just in a relationship that my have been slightly toxic bcz it wld get to the point she wld get a little mad at me. And she was sometimes violent with only her voice sometimes a little more. Sometimes it wld be what I believe may have been manipulation or gaslighting and then blew up phone if i tried to leave or even cool off. But it took me over 2 decades to figure out this stuff. But thought for sure that she' was Narcissistic. But then I asked if she was a Narcissist and she got really mad and said no. So i have to give her the benefit of the doubt right? When she had me on lock-down in my own home and hid my car keys and cell phones and wldnt let me leave....that's when I walked out and haven't been back since....it's been two or three days already
God is faithful.
Greetings from Ghana.
I like ur comment on this.
Pls. Can u share with some of the childhood wounds u had as u stated in your comments?
Thank u
I’m in the same boat right now!
🤓📣 When we loose 🥴 😳 🤯, We still WIN! 💃🏾🕺🏾 🙏🏾 🎯 🎉 🍻 😘 🥳
@@showtimesandberg3987 DAMN... IF THAT WASNT A DISPLAY OF PRISON ESCAPE, 😳 DONT KNOW WHAT IT WAS! 🤯
Wow! You just explained my recently-ended 4 year long relationship with the person I thought who was my soulmate. E discarded me 6 weeks ago and it was so cruel and heartless how he behaved towards the end. I still get shivers when I think about it. He flaunted his new girlfriend and did everything to hurt me as much as he could like the pain of the discard wasn't enough. I was so confused and was looking for answers to how someone could go from so loving to cold hearted instantly. It felt so unnatural to me. I know I cannot hurt someone like that ever not even to my worst enemy. There were so many red flags that I chose to ignore. He cheated and gaslighted. But I kept forgiving him I don't know why I did. This was the most painful thing I had to go through in my life even though my childhood was also a disaster. I learnt the most powerful lesson, I will work on myself and heal myself and come out from the other end stronger. To anyone who's going through this or already went through this, I am so sorry, and my heart goes out for all of you. No human deserve to be hurt this way. I don't know how some people can be so cruel and heartless, it's still shocking to me. But please know that you are not alone in this. We will get through this. Sending everyone big big hugs and healing energy. This shall too pass. ❤
Wow she hits the mark ☺️ it’s scary. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry when I think now of past relationships. At least I see them for what they were a lot more clearly now.
Thanks for breaking it down Stephanie 💪🏼
Yes with narcissists major red flags are manipulation with emotions, epic cheating, and blaming everything wrong with relationship on you plus all the mental emotional abuse and torture. I feel for everyone especially with spouses or family members I have my mother sisters and two daughters loves of my life what do you do??? Horrific!!
Epic cheating!!!!! Still an understatement, but well put. My narcissistic ex wife had an amazing unreal ability to deny and justify in the same spoken sentence.
What sucks is when you say what you would like and they say “ I’ll work on that” and they do this for a long period of time till you realize they aren’t going to.. and when they formally said they’d do counseling, they’re now saying they won’t. 🤦🏼♀️
I described then as Jackal and Mr. Hyde.
Finally, i think i understand what i have been going through in the last five years. the first two years she was everything i ever wished for, then she began her theatrics, emotional abuse, gas lighting and silent treatment. she knew she had me hooked....... then the discard began. i held on to the picture she potrayed in the first few years, this made me to put her on pedestral. thank you coach, you opened my eyes
This was me.
@justsmile tarot don’t need him. Thank you
@@anesu6391 hey, but we win in the end despite the damage
@@anesu6391 p.s 💕 your hair...🤓
Can relate
That's true stef, there was no attraction for real in first place. Their pursuit overwhelms u n one thing leads to another n finally you find yourself in their life only to realise u didn't want them.
That's exactly what happened to me.....now its 32 years later and in the process of a divorce that i desperately need but he absolutely doesn't want....I'm exhausted 😒
Amazing how different things look when you analyze them from outside of the relationship. While in the thick of it, you question yourself and what is happening…. 🤪. Thank God for people like you who are willing and able to help us see the situation with a fresh set eyes.
Thank you!
@@chriswyma145Wow!! That is the understatement of the year!! 😉👍
They almost convince a person that they are dealing with someone who cares, until you realize how much they don't 😂
@justsmile tarot you are on the wrong thread. We don't want our ex back. You would do better if you advertised how to keep our ex away and not attract anyone else like them again ever. Lol
Sometimes its nice to here someone else say what im thinking
Thank you Stephanie! Been living in a world of denial for the past 16 yrs and you hit the mark on so many points. Thank you for all you do and helping educate me on what and why I felt so confused all these years.
DETECTING PATTERNS is KEY for those of us in transition from past harming patterns.
WE need to key into the specific phrases that continue to give us an un-easy gut reaction.
TIP: 1. Make an inventory of these statements.
2. Make it mandatory to combat this with WORDS TO YOURSELF that are accurate and kind.
3. Create and recite an affirmation each morning, specific to you, detailing you deserve happiness. BEST PRACTICES and WISHES to us ALL!
Grateful for strong, intelligent women who spread their knowledge i.e. my therapist and you 😌🙏
It's funny how accurate this is
This video is perfect. Every sentence invaluable and so very true. The examples and explanations spot on, so easy to get and implement . I Thank you so much Stephanie.
I love the way you traced the relationship from the beginning to the end. And it does make sense now that I reflect on my own past relationship. I am thankful that I see what it is that I caused and what they did. I take responsibility for my actions and I hope I can forgive myself one day. I am just glad that I see things for what they really are, not for what I desire. As hard as it was, as needed that experience was. Realising my own self worth after all the manipulation is the best thing that has happened to me in years. The experience is eye opening to what it is that I am and what it is that I am not. Finally putting healthy boundaries is the little prize I got after the pain I felt. Thank you Stephanie! I appreciate the work you put into these videos!
I 100% agree with this comment. I have learned so much about myself and other people through this toxic relationship.
Very informative words, I really appreciate the message. Your glasses look great too 😊
I wish I knew this before I met my ex narcissistic bf in my 20s.
I really wish I found your videos 3 months ago when my ex broke up with me. This video really changed a lot about how I’ve been feeling. I didn’t know until now that I was possibly in a relationship with a narcissist.
Doesn't the Narcissist also have low self worth, unhealed trauma and lack in a similar way?? Do the abused empaths attract abused Narcs?
You are amazing😀
I do love your channel.
It's definitely one of my favourite👍
Best Regards from Poland😘
Thankyou so much for sharing your knowledge! You are helping so many people☺️🙏🏽
Thanks Stephanie. The "craving" linked with a wound hits home and relates to the painful components of these experiences. What I find helps me is to not identify the feelings as good or bad or feelings that should be accepted or not accepted. If we are in a painful relationship, I believe it means that we are learning a lesson, and it has less to do with the other person. A lot of my fear in relationships comes from self doubt which then creates a false perception of the other person. We are all accountable for our own experiences and can all have what we truly want
Just went through this! So confusing and hurts. He doesn’t even act like it affected him at all or meant anything.
Thanks for the help!
I wish I was educated in NPD before getting into and struggling through an abusive marriage. He also turned out to be an alcoholic.
Wish I new this 12 years ago😔
For me 23 years ago.
For me 10 years ago
Don’t give up. I got out of a 17 year abusive relationship. I’m taking time to heal. God loves you and will give you the strength to overcome this.
Be thankful you know it now at least, so many go to their grave and never figure it out!
Yes! Agree I'm greatful to the women who called me and told me who he really was. He told me he wished I never found out. I would of found out at his funeral when all the ladies showed up
This is exactly how my relationship of 3 years went with my narc ex girlfriend. Couple days ago she had this tantrum over a argument and that was just enough. Always gaslighting, Extreme shifts of mood could be crying heavily and laugh because something was funny to them in that moment its really insane. im now starting my healing process and working heavily on myself. thank you for your videos they been helping a lot!
She was a dream come true,. She gave me all of her time and attention. It started taking over myself care routine . Took away from me taking my dogs to the park. When I started setting boundaries, that’s when the devaluation and the ghosting began with her. Our pattern of hanging out changed. When we had plans, she canceled and said she was with her friend.
How sad is this… 23 years ago I told my marine boyfriend at the time that if my dad didn’t give you the time of day that I couldn’t be with him and my dad(totally narcissistic) actually shook his hand and I ultimately married him, 3 kids and 23 years as a military spouse later… my dad asked me to not resent him for shaking his hand 23 years later 😢😢😢
Wow you pretty much just summed up my situation and relationship issues in this video. Thank you 🙏. Very eye opening for me.
SPOT.ON.
What a great, truly inspiring advice you have ❤️🙌 I wish there were more UA-camrs like you. All the best 😇
This is so bang on Stephanie
Stephanie you are amazing everything you said described me to the T 😢😢😢 I appreciate you dearly
Wow! This is so spot on...
the way you explain things are so perfect and on point. thank you so much 🤍
I would be a complete mess if I didn’t know about narcissism. I started sticking up for myself and holding my husband accountable; I was immediately discarded while pregnant.
Nice sweater. Thank you for your videos, and for your encouragement. Your advice in the advice of a few other people on UA-cam have really help shine the spotlight on what has been happening in my life. I see all my relationships from a much different perspective now and, setting up a barriers so that my boundaries are no longer pushed is easier. I'm 41, I'm a single white male and very appreciative of your work. Thank you again. And although my children are not on here, the affects of your teaching me I can teach to them, so on their behalf I think you as well.
story of my life. once again Stephanie you are so smart!
How is this sooo accurate.
Whoa. Shining the light on my stuff. Thank you Stephanie ❤
Love 😍 your videos help me a lot...
saying your clips are one of my favorite ones I like to listen to is an understatement.
I just wish I would have heard of you years ago. God knows, things would be different.
Thx Stephanie.
Thsnk you Steph! ❤️
I so love your coaching, advise, help. I wish so much I could afford to get some private coaching. I’m sitting here alone on Thanksgiving while he is traveling in other states doing what he wants. I need help.
Omg this is so totally now happening, on the eng when I traying to divorce, he is saying and promising everything to be nice again. But all this game" make people crazy...I don't realy understand anyone where is reality of my relationship...Thank you.. I will try to be strong on this believe that everything is fake..
The minute i started speaking up he moved out and in with his mother and we going through a stressful and frustrating divorce, his dragging things out, i am seeing behaviors that literally 😮makes me wonder why i married him
Dr Grande; Dr Les Carter, Dr Romani, and others are all brilliant in their work and help people no end but gotta say the way this vid flowed from beginning to end in such a logical/coherent way was masterly done and a credit to you as an helper to your fellow man/woman, can’t help thinking that you’ve been through the mill in a way similar (although not the same) to Job in the Bible who eventually came out of all his trials and tribulations blessed by God to a great degree and thereby give us hope and comfort if we meditate on his wonderful example. I appreciate the time and your expertise that you share with us who have been confused for many a day, thank you.
Thank you for these videos
Dat was a good one Stephanie 💗
So before I listen to you the more it all makes sense what I've been through.....
Thank you for making this plain. 💜
Stephanie, Happy New Eyeglass Frames. And Happy Thanksgiving to you, and Yours.
What confuses me is that he doesn’t cut me down with words. He’s not a nightmare. He’s quiet. Closed off. Trauma in the shadows that he won’t even venture into so why would he tell me. I see a lot of him in what you said but that. He’s not a monster. And honestly I don’t think he is aware or he just thinks it’s normal but then so do I cuz he’s like the 3rd same kinda relationship yet this time he’s not violent at all. Calm and balanced yet cold and distant. Great sense of humor and talks in circles when feeling cornered into talking feelings. But then I’ve always been ok with it. I just woke up to it and have no clue how to handle it so I wait patiently for a sign.
Amen totally on point...perfect
Gorgeous and informative😍😘
Hi thanks for your relationship advice
I should have left months ago. Keeping me from his friend group and then acting like he hated me in front of them. I sick and tired of being made to look like the bad guy by narcs.
Thank you 🙏🏻
"Coach"!!!
I feel like I am going through this day in and day I want to cry 😭 I feel so lost. This sound like me.
What about narcissism and self awareness? Do narcissists know that they are narcissists? Can they change
Terrific.
This is great
Great video, you explain concepts really well. One thing to note, so much of the content you explain is heteronormative and relies very heavily on stereotypical and cliche desires.. Like the whole wanting to be flaunted or taken on holidays or being showered in gifts (like a dozen red roses).
I get that you need to stick to basics that resonate with a certain type of audience, but it can feel very alienating to everyone who doesn't fit that very narrow narrative, and it can also lead to people dismissing unhealthy behaviour because it doesn't fit the descriptions parroted by so many therapist/coaches.
Nurse Jekyll and Miss Hyde!!
awesomely explained !
Happy Thanksgiving Steff.
Thank you for EVERYTHING!!
This is the story of my life😡
I regret letting myself used by some manipulative person. How can I get rid of this regret??
So true!
I'm curious to know the actual statistics of the people that have done the healing work to overcome childhood abuse and trauma, versus those that haven't. Many people were unknowingly raised in abusive and unhealthy environments and this is their normal. Unless, they learn otherwise in their adult life. I knew very early on with my ex that he was a narcissist. But, after many years of being single and dating in a large metropolitan City I became convinced that this was as good as it gets. Everybody's got that something their living and dealing with. So I knowingly settled and made the best of things in the relationship until I couldn't do it anymore. I was single over 6 years on this round. My prior last significant relationship I was single and celebate 17 years while raising my son as a single parent. You don't control who comes into your life, but you do control how long they stay.
I'm the first😍 Thank you so much for sharing 🙏❤
I have learned so much about narcissists. However, as they are damaged and cannot be reformed-- what happens to them? Who will care for them or help them? I am just curious- what happens to them? Are they just discarded by everyone? Just wondering…
As an empath, I distance myself but can’t help but wonder what happens to them after everyone rejects and abandons them?
Usually they replace old supply with new supply.
They are not discarded by anyone…. They discard everyone . Who the hell cares what happens to them?’! Ur questions are huge 🚩🚩.
I think this is a valid question. My mother in law is a narc and has alienated all of her sources of care. Now she’s elderly and has no circle of friends or family left, because of her narc behavior. So I wonder too sometimes what happens to narcs when they have caused everyone to leave.
Difficult to say - but I think the authentic people will get terribly hurt and leave. The hanger-ons will stay usually for money etc. The problem is once the narcs ages or suffers ill health and can no longer provide whatever benefit(s) they were providing then I imagine they are in for a hard time. The reality is we are all getting older and things change as we age - our looks, health, our ability to provide in the same way. Maybe this is the time the saying "what goes round comes round" will take real meaning. I'm no expert but just from my own experiences narcs or not - I really believe you reap what you sow. He (narcs) actually said that to me a few months ago - but of course, he doesn't think he's done anything wrong.
@@AJ-kb9hf nope they never do! I’m sorry! I know it’s frustrating! They never can see what THEY have done! Sheesh! I could talk to you for hours about this! Even when you confront a narc about their wrong behavior they just don’t see it as wrong! My mother in law told my 4 year old daughter that If she wasn’t nice to her, that she would take her daddy away from her. I confronted her about this statement and she literally said “what do you think is wrong about me saying that?”🤷🏼♀️ It was in that moment that I knew what I was up against. 😞
Hey Steph you look great love the glasses! Watching after a while off! Lots of narcs in my life now my family mother two daughters one from a rape possibly wasn’t aware of pregnancy but I had a child Jesus said. Just not sure wonder why my body changed lol! Anyway thank you for video they passed away I’m all alone but I hear them from the other side or heaven. I love them but they can be abusive and epic cheats haha anyhoo saying hello babe! Thinking of you! Happy thanksgiving!!? Give Ryan a high five and hello for me.
I'm 2nd. Thanks, Stephanie! Happy Thanksgiving!
Really it's nobody's fault.
I love your glasses where did u get them?
I wish this was more general in nature and not specifically focused on romantic relationships.
Excellent psychological analysation and feel that statement runs true and deep to the situations i create for myself. It takes like a few weeks to several months to wake up and realize wtf... I've called it happening and observed it take place systematically, but never truly realized that it's my own flaws projecting into others that actually fails me, while a lot of these people are who and what they are, it's my awakening time that's abusive to myself. I hate being the son of a narc. Had really just fucked my whole life... Hard to forgive, especially when the narcissistic sabotage continues.. narcissist s shouldn't be aloud to have kids - thru don't know how to love unconditionally and it really fucks kids up well into their adulthood. Sad. Narcism is the worst slow killer there is. I've tried killing myself over a handful of times and obviously been unsuccessful, but round 8 is coming soon i promise... They say you have to fail repeatedly to succeed... My destiny awaits. F U narcs
The best F U to narcs would be to live a happy life. Live your best life. Heal and thrive. That shows them they have no power over you. They hate that. And it is good for you as well!
So true
Can they gaslight and love bomb but not be narcissistic ?
How do you avoid not putting this person above when the narcissist is your boss (director of HR, nonetheless). I gray rock the heck out of her to avoid giving her more information than she needs.
Loooking extremely hot! Steph, what u do? Love how the hair hangs perfectly
Girl you so fine. I promise I be trying to learn how to deal with these psychos. But I be getting lost in your face.
I have had my eyes opened to someone I thought was my best friend that I just put up with constant abuse with little bits of niceness sprinkled in. But man, now that I see it I can't unsee it. I'm so hurt by her I feel like I need some thereapy to help me through it. She's conditioned me to question myself constantly and now I'm still questioning things. But this person is not the person I thought she was...
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🙁 growing indeed not easy 🙁
How do you stop putting guys that your attracted to on a pedestal? I find that I natural do this when I find someone really cute
Yes, this is the worst!!!
I guess you have to concentrate on their bad sides, cause everyone has them but your mind just chooses to ignore them. And this is really hard, when you only know them by chat.
To to drive to buy something in the store nobody know got no time. Okay doing something with my knee now you got
Is it okay to pick i
It my shush
Why is it they can’t just say how they feel? Why is it when you say how you feel and I’m in what you need.. The covert immediately tells you your cause a argument!! Now I know common sense!! When your sharing how you feel and how they are making you feel that is not the definition of a argument period..Why is it the Covert can be so real for so long? I have 30 years invested in this marriage I’m disabled I have a home I have animals I can’t just jump up and sale the home and dump the animals For goodness we rescued them now I have to dump them! Is there a course that teaches you how to cope with them. He has Cancer that can only go in remission! Will never be Can ER free again! I prayed and prayed and prayed to God to help me understand why we were okay for so many years Before he ever emotionally abused me!! He knew where I came from and that I would not tolerate emotional abuse or physical..He thinks the into abuse is if he hits and since he didn’t hit me He’s not abusive..Why do they refuse to go to get help for themselves? Is it possible you could be dealing with a co-dependent in a Covert? I don’t fully understand the covert and what the agenda is!! Why is money so important to them.. To where they will actually live a 10 years life behind you back and make you struggle to pay the bills while they are only giving part of their pay check to make ends meet!! All the while your struggling time and time again to just pay the bills and keep them on and make him happy..Why is it they want you to do what makes them happy Although when you look for who is caring for you in times of trouble like now..He’s not on board He helps in the house when he’s point blank told what to do time and time again Bit to literally come in and save the day for me on his own That will never happen! Let him fall my name is called all day everyday even disabled to make sure all system are right..I would love to learn more about the covert everyone what’s to speak of the OVERT I just knew I had gotten away from all my family life time of drama Until 2012-2013 He lost his parents and he took his pin out on me!! Yes I tried everything to help him thinking it was the parent death that made him flip! I just want to live in my house safe and sound since I’m disabled If he can’t speak normally and treat me like a human being not like
The gum in the bottom of his shoe!! I didn’t I give and I give and I give and it’s never enough They take everything from us and leave us with nothing and thing that’s funny rough tk say the lease location for a pregnant! It’s not it’s hurts and I’m tired of him acting like he cares and he will be there for me etc. etc. Its been to confusing this entire year all the lies have came out non of which ai would ever want my family to see!
Yes when we want out of the hell of a home he calls it with me now Remember just the other day I could never be repacked 🙌🌹We will attach to anything to change it!! I so dress I would love any advice on how to survive at least this coming year as he can’t go to work..I can’t leave a helpless man who once w showed me what today was!! I don’t know what’s going on with her that’s daubs
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How the hell did she know I was looking for the woman of my dreams 😍 I think shes a psychic or psychiatrist ? Ya oh my ideas are not always the best for my heart true,, but I'm no quitter ask my doctor! Yep I'm surrpressed and depressed and abused by my government!
real shit
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🙌🏼 🤍 🤲🏻
Why is all this stuff about narcissist's coming on my phone. I'm being harassed.
So really your not saying it's the narcissist's fault.its your fault for falling for them.
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🙏✊💯❤️