Why is it so hard to apologize? | Michael Ballard | TEDxBreckenridge

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  • Опубліковано 25 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 201

  • @65stang
    @65stang 9 місяців тому +2

    I've never been good at apologizing, and this talk made me realize why. It's scary to admit when you're wrong, but it's necessary for growth. Time to swallow my pride and start saying sorry.

  • @michaelkragt1043
    @michaelkragt1043 Рік тому +8

    As a psychologist and marriage therapist, I am truly appreciative of this important message on how to apologize. It is a critical skill that so many are lacking and the ability to apologize is critical for healthy relationships. Great work Dr. Ballard!

  • @ladyvalli1
    @ladyvalli1 10 місяців тому +1

    Simple and effective steps to apologize. Practice empathy, take accountability, and say the words 'I'm sorry.' Noted for my next slip-up!

  • @easyrider9366
    @easyrider9366 10 місяців тому +1

    Apologising is easy for me. I get that as a human I misread situations and I take responsibility for my actions.

  • @ironmercMike
    @ironmercMike 8 місяців тому +1

    It's not just about saying sorry; it's about truly understanding the other person's pain. Powerful stuff.

  • @morgannfields
    @morgannfields 8 місяців тому +1

    This talk made me think about all the times I've been too caught up in my own world to consider how my actions affect others... Pretty uncomfortable things to reflect on tbh and I wish I could go back and just be a little more aware

  • @joanbacon7056
    @joanbacon7056 8 місяців тому +1

    I've always struggled with apologizing but it's because I hate feeling vulnerable.

  • @1martinarose1
    @1martinarose1 9 місяців тому +1

    It's so easy to justify our actions, but that doesn't make them right. Thanks for the reminder that a sincere apology can go a long way

  • @georgenotbest
    @georgenotbest 10 місяців тому +1

    As someone who struggles with empathy, I found this talk challenging in the best way possible. It's easy to get caught up in our own feelings, but true growth comes from considering others

  • @Boss-1964
    @Boss-1964 11 місяців тому +1

    Loved the idea that a sincere apology can have a ripple effect worldwide. Small actions, big impact.

  • @natalemodesto
    @natalemodesto 10 місяців тому +1

    Thanks for the new perspective that an apology is for the other person not for you.

  • @ThePackHunter
    @ThePackHunter 8 місяців тому +1

    it takes real strength to admit when you're wrong. appreciated the reminder that humility is key to healthy relationships

  • @juliaressberger
    @juliaressberger 8 місяців тому +1

    This talk made me realize how much I've let my pride get in the way of apologizing. It's time to set aside my ego and start making things right. Thanks for the encouragement.

  • @jacquelinehogan3313
    @jacquelinehogan3313 9 місяців тому +1

    I cannot handle confrontation, always been a thing for me. Watching this, I can see now why I have repeated some patterns. Great wisdom to share here!

  • @tonylizzy4781
    @tonylizzy4781 10 місяців тому +1

    It’s so hard for me to apologize
    I want to be perfection and keep my pride.

  • @tojamismis
    @tojamismis 11 місяців тому

    I really appreciate you touching on that key factor of empathy. I have two people in my life who struggle terribly with apology. One of them only apologized once in 13 years. But when they did, they were crumpled on the floor in pieces. Something between the empathy and the fear of not being “perfect” is a factor in them fighting so hard to ever accept accountability.

  • @georgegerchow3665
    @georgegerchow3665 11 місяців тому

    As a TedX myself, speaker working with Michael was a pleasure. His talk was my favorite and a great way to end the event!

  • @ManicBrainpoint
    @ManicBrainpoint 10 місяців тому

    Wow I never thought about how perfectionism can hinder apologizing... now I'm questioning every apology I've ever made or received.

  • @calvinwing1456
    @calvinwing1456 10 місяців тому

    Truly an amazing talk Mr. Ballard. So well spoken and an approach to humility that is so often dismissed. Thank you for your clearness and overall talk on this really important message! It’s not about us!

  • @petekleinsasser5355
    @petekleinsasser5355 Рік тому +1

    This was remarkably inspiring. "I see you and I see your pain." Truly a humbling thought. Thanks for the great talk, Michael! I have at least three people who I need to authentically apologize to today after watching this.

  • @etking225
    @etking225 Рік тому +2

    I can think of so many people who need to hear this and apologize to me. I'm forwarding to them right now!! JK this is for everyone, especially me. And I love how well crafted and delivered this is put together. You're an inspiration Dr. Ballard

  • @margaretstrom
    @margaretstrom 8 місяців тому

    I've been on the receiving end of half-hearted apologies too many times to count. It's refreshing to hear someone break down what a real apology looks like.

  • @ginapesce661
    @ginapesce661 Рік тому

    What a great reminder on the essence of a sincere apology. I had never considered this perspective before. It’s about them. Not you.

  • @LeslieMain-oq9yb
    @LeslieMain-oq9yb Рік тому

    Well said and clearly explained. Reasons why we resist apologizing are so true, and why becoming humble enough to admit we are wrong are key to becoming willing to see another persons point of view. Such good advice!

  • @tylerbrayton3446
    @tylerbrayton3446 Рік тому

    What a great reminder of the importance of an apology to promote healing and restored relationships! Well said!

  • @ryanpaulson3789
    @ryanpaulson3789 11 місяців тому

    Such a great talk. As a pastor, I work with people all the time who are struggling with apologizing, empathy, and taking ownership. This is a great resource.

  • @amyskatula334
    @amyskatula334 11 місяців тому

    This was a compelling, convicting and encouraging talk! Dr. Ballard gives very simple, clear and attainable steps to apologizing. I'm grateful for this message!

  • @bradcrossman
    @bradcrossman Рік тому

    Saying I’m sorry is definitely missing from our culture today! Great talk!

  • @JulieMcD
    @JulieMcD 11 місяців тому

    Listened to it with my son and of course ended up applying the lessons learned within 24h! So helpful!

  • @EdwardJamesDavis
    @EdwardJamesDavis Рік тому

    "When we're prideful, we tend to say things like...
    'I'm sorry, IF ...I'm sorry YOU ... I'm sorry IF my comments SEEMED inappropriate ... I'm sorry, YOU feel that way ..."
    Michael Ballard tells us: "Never apologize like this because you are not really apologizing at all."
    A true apology is about the other person and is not qualified in any way.
    Such great advice in this TED Talk.
    I hope we get to see more from Michael Ballard.

  • @jessicasato6201
    @jessicasato6201 11 місяців тому

    I really loved this talk! Not only did you bring good humor to this conversation, but you also dropped a few gut checks! So good.

  • @gadlubac
    @gadlubac 10 місяців тому +1

    The dance of breath and movement is the dance of life! This talk is pure enlightenment. I felt my chakras aligning at 6:28. Ground yourself, release, and let your breath guide you to freedom. Namaste!

  • @NotSkander
    @NotSkander Рік тому

    Before this, I hadn't thought of the components of good and bad apologies without the weight of their subjects getting in the way. Thank you

  • @tracihart8666
    @tracihart8666 Рік тому

    There are many resources about the difficulty of forgiveness, but I have not come across many about how hard it is to apologize. Dr. Ballard's unique perspective is an excellent reminder that our intentions should take a back seat to how our actions are perceived.

  • @danszy6874
    @danszy6874 Рік тому

    Empathy is strangely controversial in certain circles. It shouldn't be! It is, as you've said, what equips us for apologies that are on the only path to genuine healing and reconciliation.

  • @christinafaulkner2994
    @christinafaulkner2994 Рік тому

    Oh how quick we are to believe our own lies! This talk addresses our self indulgence and how to genuinely empathize and apologize. Humanity would be better off if we embraced the steps mentioned in this short and effective talk.

    • @michaelballard306
      @michaelballard306 11 місяців тому

      I appreciate such a kind and encouraging comment. Thank you!

  • @ErinDohrman
    @ErinDohrman Рік тому

    Excellent condensed reminder of how an authentic apology should be. Everyone should listen to your message as we tend to all forget the rules to a sincere apology.

  • @janiceweber5330
    @janiceweber5330 11 місяців тому

    Excellent presentation, very well delivered. More of Dr. Ballard, please!

  • @m13hockey
    @m13hockey Рік тому

    I never realized what a real apology was until recently and this talk is a great, concise and profoundly relevant explanation of the power and importance of I’m sorry. Way to go!

  • @MikhailZhovmiruk-yx6hc
    @MikhailZhovmiruk-yx6hc 11 місяців тому

    As someone who knows Mike personally and more importantly as someone who’s felt understood by Mike, this was really amazing.

  • @scotthmcbride
    @scotthmcbride 11 місяців тому

    This video sharpened my apology skills, but more importantly challenged my heart. To be more charitable and gracious, even when it causes me pain to do so. I want to have the character to be able to give these whole hearted apologies for all in my family and community, this video is helping me do that!

  • @drandrewfix
    @drandrewfix 11 місяців тому

    Loved this talk! Apologizing is something I have a hard time with. I tend to be a perfectionist, and I hate when I mess up something. I also am guilty of thinking about how things feel for me and not always the other people or parties involved. This was a great reminder and eye opening.

  • @BenFranklinBFA
    @BenFranklinBFA Рік тому

    As we learned in Scouts, Own it, Fix it and Move on. Great talk on something that should be easy

  • @kellykurpanek2255
    @kellykurpanek2255 11 місяців тому

    Love this! I’m so bad about the “I’m sorry, but” that you mention and it’s helpful to understand WHY I do that sometimes! So well said!

  • @alexandriaagresta
    @alexandriaagresta 11 місяців тому

    What a riveting talk! Thank you for helping us reframe those 2 meaningful words in a way that makes it not so scary to say them and actually MEAN them to the humans we love most. This is true thought leadership right here. Can't wait to see this message create a ripple effect.

  • @umadelecois
    @umadelecois 10 місяців тому

    This talk made so much sense when I stopped and considered an apology from the other person's point of view.

  • @gtowncook
    @gtowncook Рік тому

    I will come back to this video. So much packed into 13 minutes! And 13 minutes that will have a big impact on me and those I love.

  • @jeffdeclue9748
    @jeffdeclue9748 11 місяців тому

    Such great truth! Home Run of a Tedx Talk!

  • @mikeheinz3629
    @mikeheinz3629 Рік тому

    Very helpful! And, the three hardest things to say… 1. I’m sorry 2. I need help and 3. Worcestershire sauce. So true brother!

  • @hichemkahela
    @hichemkahela 8 місяців тому

    A far cry from what I was taught growing up. For so long I would work around an apology because I thought it meant I was weak if I admitted fault.

  • @isaacarchuleta4944
    @isaacarchuleta4944 11 місяців тому

    The recommendations are brilliant!! "The apology is about us." Don't think I will forget that quote and what it provoked within me!

  • @jeffjaynes7046
    @jeffjaynes7046 Рік тому +1

    I'm sorry I didn't get to see this live! What a fantastic reminder and very well done. You ROCK!

  • @JohnMoorhead-e2h
    @JohnMoorhead-e2h Рік тому

    Thanks for such an encouraging reminder to say AND mean, I'm sorry

  • @reginarabenhorst1908
    @reginarabenhorst1908 Рік тому

    What a powerful message and convicting reminder!

  • @nicoleturner9014
    @nicoleturner9014 11 місяців тому

    I really appreciated the focus on empathy and that ann apology is about the other person, not you. Great speaker and teacher on the forgiveness!

  • @AmyCraig-w4d
    @AmyCraig-w4d 11 місяців тому

    So helpful to hear about this topic through the lens of perfectionism and trauma. And so practical to hear examples of true apology. Yes, words have power. This is one to listen to again and again!

  • @Rsulli-dn7xu
    @Rsulli-dn7xu 11 місяців тому

    Such a great message with practical advice about an act that is so simple but profoundly complex to all of us. Thank you Dr. Ballard for distilling the apology and helping others genuinely embrace it, hopefully sooner than Florence!

  • @StephenFisher-t4l
    @StephenFisher-t4l 11 місяців тому

    Great talk! The world would be a better place if more of us knew how to authentically apologize for our mistakes and our poor behavior. Empathy for the impact of our actions on others is important.

  • @BillFinnell-q9q
    @BillFinnell-q9q 10 місяців тому

    Great message. Apologies require so much vulnerability
    sometimes.

  • @hbotyos
    @hbotyos Рік тому

    Mistakes happen, we are human. Owning the mistake and saying, “I’m sorry” is important. Owning the mistake, saying “I’m sorry” for the specific action, and applying empathy is growth! Thank you for sharing such a valuable message.

  • @benjaminskurdal3218
    @benjaminskurdal3218 11 місяців тому

    Resonated with me as a person not known for empathy- I started thinking of recent situations I needed to apply this action. Thank you! Yes, the world would be very different (let’s start one concentric circle at a time).

  • @JoeNewhouse-s4v
    @JoeNewhouse-s4v Рік тому

    Eye-opening, actually eye-popping, revelations about the role apologizing plays for our soul’s health and vitality. It’s about THEM, not us! Empathy is that first step towards genuine forgiveness and relationship healing. Thank you, Dr. Ballard!! (This TED Talk pairs well with David Brooks “How to Know a Person”)

  • @JenniferGautier-x6d
    @JenniferGautier-x6d Рік тому

    What great advice to put yourself in someone else's shoes, be humble, and use the words, "I'm sorry." Thank you for the incredible Ted talk and for helping us all to be better.

  • @nnyl5236
    @nnyl5236 Рік тому

    This is a very great speech on a very important subject. Made me think of my failures in my efforts of apologizing.

  • @jacintohernandez9052
    @jacintohernandez9052 11 місяців тому

    Often times we as people make very simple things in relationships unnecessarily complicated, especially when we let our egos and pride get in the way. This message cuts to the core of the true simplicity of an effective, meaningful apology. There are some great points made here that I plan to share with my students!

  • @elian-cruz
    @elian-cruz 8 місяців тому

    I've always been quick to apologize but this has made me realize that sometimes my apologies were more about me trying to make myself feel better than really understanding the other person. It's not something I've really thought about before

  • @oreguy9765
    @oreguy9765 11 місяців тому

    This is an outstanding message! Well-delivered, clear and useful for everyone! As a psychologist myself, I will be sharing this with my staff and clients! Let's all take the message to heart and change the world, one apology at a time!

  • @chrisk7043
    @chrisk7043 11 місяців тому

    Amazing talk! This is something I needed to hear and will be incorporating into my daily life! Thank you, Dr. Ballard!

  • @BrianHatak
    @BrianHatak Рік тому

    This is so true. I know that it can be difficult to say "I'm sorry" in a meaningful way. It is so important to make sure others are first in most things that we do and that should include apologizing. What a great reminder on how to interact with others. Thank you Dr. Ballard.

  • @StephenAnthony-y7l
    @StephenAnthony-y7l 11 місяців тому

    Well done Dr. Ballard! Excellent presentation and critical information! As a counselor, this will be a good resource for our clients.

  • @sidewalks94
    @sidewalks94 11 місяців тому

    Great stage presence, Michael!
    Very thoughtful outlook on apologies. I often find myself falling into the trap of making the apology about me, and have been working to recognize when I say something like "I'm sorry you felt that way," and change my mindset to one that truly takes into account the other person's feelings.
    The world needs more of your lessons, when's the next video?

  • @hazrexall
    @hazrexall 8 місяців тому

    It's not easy admitting when you're wrong, but it's necessary! Definitely been too stubborn in the past to own my shyt.

  • @chrismiller8046
    @chrismiller8046 11 місяців тому

    I’ve known Michael for many years, even working together for a period of time. He’s a good man and a good counselor. Way to go Michael. Good info on a vital topic. As a counselor myself, I know the necessity and power of apologies. I’m glad you addressed this. Blessings on you.

  • @richbeck1338
    @richbeck1338 Рік тому

    Wow! Great message on apologizing. It’s really not about me. Thanks for giving me another way to think about apologizing!

  • @nyc62206
    @nyc62206 Рік тому

    Teaching an essential skill in a time when we all seem so quick to really think about how something affects us rather than understanding others in the world around us. Great talk!

  • @sondraleigh1
    @sondraleigh1 11 місяців тому

    Thanks Michael - words do matter! I agree that it’s very difficult to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. I’ll definitely try the three steps.

  • @maingem
    @maingem 11 місяців тому

    Michael gives us three simple steps for making better apologies - this is an impactful message that we can all implement. I’m excited to put it into practice in my life!

  • @fraudpsychology
    @fraudpsychology 11 місяців тому

    Great talk! Apologizing is such an important skill to have in repairing the inevitable ruptures that we all experience in relationships. I speak with clients frequently about avoiding "I'm sorry but" when apologizing, and I appreciated Michael's addition of "I'm sorry you..." and "I'm sorry if..."

  • @ReedTaussig-s1y
    @ReedTaussig-s1y Рік тому

    This captures in a compelling and succinct way exactly what we all need to learn when it comes to making an honest and effective apology. Love it!

  • @lauraelizabeth226
    @lauraelizabeth226 11 місяців тому

    Inspiring, practical, light-hearted yet deeply compassionate message. Loved the emphasis on empathy and practical take-aways. Great job, Michael!

  • @jonathanmarshall893
    @jonathanmarshall893 Рік тому

    A simple but challenging skill for all humans!

  • @richarddierenfield3928
    @richarddierenfield3928 Рік тому

    This gave me a lot to think about Michael! Thank you for laying a simple approach to apologies.

  • @jessicaparks4070
    @jessicaparks4070 Рік тому

    Incredibly important message! Thank you!

  • @natecampeau
    @natecampeau Рік тому

    This is a wonderful and very actionable talk! In fact, I just met with a coworker I had a negative interaction with last week and practiced this approach successfully. Thanks for the inspiration and encouragement!

  • @erinbreed4456
    @erinbreed4456 Рік тому

    As we head into the holidays with lots of family time I think this Ted Talk is very applicable. I especially liked the “own your stuff” comment. God bless you, Michael. May God use you in people’s lives to bring healing.

  • @taylorbuzzard5680
    @taylorbuzzard5680 Рік тому

    Worcestershire Sauce! Loved that line. You are a talented orator. I related with perfectionism tied with identity/self-worth being a barrier to admitting being wrong. Great points, thank you.

  • @fathomlittleton
    @fathomlittleton Рік тому

    We have had Michael speak at our church. Fantastic thinker and communicator! We are thankful for your input on such a pertinent topic!

  • @jessicaevans3764
    @jessicaevans3764 11 місяців тому

    A great conversation starter to get at the heart of what apologizing is and isn’t and how we can take steps to actually apologize. It takes much humility and courage!

  • @kevinleapley3772
    @kevinleapley3772 11 місяців тому

    Great mix of humor and information about both apologizing and practicing empathy. Acknowledging our actions and being specific is an important part of making an amends for harmful behaviors. Well done Michael!

  • @paulcaprera8471
    @paulcaprera8471 10 місяців тому

    Thanks Michael!!! You're work with anger management has been so incredibly helpful to myself and all the client's I have worked with for a decade now. How exciting to see this contribution around forgiveness. A new media but just as helpful! Congrats and thanks!

  • @denvermosaic5365
    @denvermosaic5365 11 місяців тому

    Clear and insightful talk. In our current cultural moment such a practice, if done authentically encourage others to act with greater kindness, trust, and respect. Kudos to Michael!

  • @kuangchiang3621
    @kuangchiang3621 Рік тому

    Well done, Michael!

  • @ElizabethWagner-f9p
    @ElizabethWagner-f9p 11 місяців тому

    Fantastic ted talk! Thank you, Dr. Ballard for sharing so clearly and hopefully about the heart of apologizing.

  • @MelanieWenig-v2g
    @MelanieWenig-v2g Рік тому

    I so appreciate your reminder on the three key items of an authentic apology. It means so much when we are specific in our apology of how we hurt someone. And what a great photo of your family’s shoes and what it might actually feel like to walk in someone else’s shoes. Great analogy for building empathy!

  • @ScottAnderson-v6i
    @ScottAnderson-v6i Рік тому

    Deeply insightful and clearly communicated!

  • @chrismartinco
    @chrismartinco Рік тому

    Thanks Michael. Clear. Compelling. And something we all need to take to heart!

  • @HollyPage-y1z
    @HollyPage-y1z Рік тому

    So relevant and what a good reminder and insight that it’s really not about us!

  • @jameskadamson
    @jameskadamson Рік тому

    Quick and to the point, but with a simple depth that will make sure it’s useful and not just forgotten.

    • @michaelballard306
      @michaelballard306 11 місяців тому

      Thanks! I hope the talk does prove useful to many people

  • @downtowntylerart
    @downtowntylerart Рік тому

    Excellent talk! Just what the doctor ordered! Not enough is being said about, empathy through correct apology, in or fast paced; me, me ,me culture. It is essential to human society but is vanishing from our public and personal discourse. Dr. Ballard provides a perfect pathway to the truly liberating world of human empathy. A humle, heartfelt apology. One that is about the concerns of your fellow human, is the best way to discover and develop a Love that is greater that yourself. Well done Sir!

  • @jillcrossman1336
    @jillcrossman1336 Рік тому

    Such great advice to focus on the other person rather than ourselves. What a beautiful world we'd have if people could put away their pride and humbly apologize.