MY FIRST TIME WITH H

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  • Опубліковано 7 вер 2024
  • Hello everyone!! I'm Jen and these are my thoughts and opinions through my lived life experiences. I'm a woman in long term recovery who is now a CARC (Certified Addiction Recovery Coach) and CRPA (Certified Recovery Peer Advocate) as well as a Rape Crisis Counselor. I use my lived experience to help others find their pathways to recovery. I am a huge supporter of Harm Reduction and am also a trainer of Narcan. If you'd like to be Narcan trained feel free to reach out and we can make it happen. All trainings are FREE but sadly, shipping is not. I accept Venmo and CashApp for shipping.
    Write me!! ✉️ 📭 🖊️
    Jen Cutting
    PO Box 403
    Masonville NY, 13804-0001
    Email: jencutting1@gmail.com
    My Patreon: / jencutting
    Link to my merch: 👕 ☕
    teespring.com/...
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    My IG: jlcutting
    My Amazon wish list. 📦 I use these items to help my local people in need. Anything is greatly appreciated! 🖤🖤🖤
    www.amazon.com...
    Link to some of my other videos: 🎥
    • I HAD MY BABY IN A NY ...
    • WHY I WENT TO PRISON...
    • INTERNATIONAL OVERDOSE...
    SMACKED: A Documentary I was in while still getting sober in 2017 (Under my maiden)
    • SMACKED! Heroin Addict...
    PBS interview I did in July 2020:
    • PBS NewsHour full epis...
    Christian Science Monitor interview I did in July 2020:
    www.csmonitor....

КОМЕНТАРІ • 130

  • @elliemeow6167
    @elliemeow6167 3 роки тому +40

    “The day i lost my soul” thats the cold hard truth.

  • @meag_ken822
    @meag_ken822 3 роки тому +23

    On the 25th I will be 11 months clean from heroin and fentanyl. In the past 11 months I have moved to a different state, got a decent paying full-time job, my own apartment with my husband, and our first baby is on the way. I could not be more happier with my life right now but it is crazy how the thought of using still gives me anxiety this is going to be hard to watch but it’s something I need to do so thank you for making this video ❤️

    • @JenCutting
      @JenCutting  3 роки тому +5

      Sooooo proud of you!!! #wedorecover

    • @meag_ken822
      @meag_ken822 3 роки тому +3

      @@JenCutting thank you. You and Jess have helped me through all of this more than you’ll ever know 💖

    • @ZoeF.O
      @ZoeF.O 3 роки тому +2

      @@meag_ken822
      Hey girlie, I keep seeing you on Jess' channel and I never knew you were going to be a mom! I wish you all the luck in the world, sending love & light always. 🖤 from Amsterdam 🌷. :)

    • @meag_ken822
      @meag_ken822 3 роки тому +2

      @@ZoeF.O awe thank you so much. I am 11wk 2days. I go to my 12 weeks appointment this coming Wednesday to hear the heartbeat. I think that’s when it’ll feel VERY real. Being sober already felt amazing. But I can’t think of a more better reason to stay sober than for myself and my baby. I’ve always felt I was put on this earth to be a momma. I had a tough childhood. My mom- love her to death and I’d die for her, but she struggled with alcoholism. And it really messed me up. My sister and I always said we couldn’t wait to have kids to prove a child can (& mine WILL) have a normal, happy childhood. And my sister is actually pregnant as well. She’s due July 16th. I’m due August 4th. It’s sucks being in different states (she’s in Massachusetts where we were born and raised- I’m currently in NC). I HAD to move to stay clean. But after I have the baby, my husband and I agreed that we’ll eventually move back North so my child can be close to its cousin. By this time I will feel confident enough where I know I’ll be able to stay clean. I’ve seen your name on both Jess’ channel and Jens. You’re always so sweet. Thank you again for your kind words 🙏🏼❤️

    • @ZoeF.O
      @ZoeF.O 3 роки тому +2

      @@meag_ken822
      I'm so happy for you, and your sister 🧑‍🦲🎂🎉. It's also cool that you remembered me from commenting, those things are always super sweet to know, and also fascinating to me. I'm from all around the globe pretty much (Amsterdam), and I always liked to be recognized, especially if it was for comments from someone's channel that I deeply admire and respect.
      It's so great that you and your sister having a baby at the same time, you are going to have such a great time, making beautiful memories every day. I hope you will be close to each other in no time! Sending you love & light always 🌷 🖤 :)

  • @boobax2197
    @boobax2197 3 роки тому +18

    Omg if i could put a number of how many times ive been kickin on the bathroom floor and my dude came in asking "you ok baby?" And i replied exactly NO IM DYING

  • @wilfredozelaya1391
    @wilfredozelaya1391 3 роки тому +24

    I'm sorry to hear your story. Simultaneously, it is an inspiring one. I hope you're doing good out in Chicago with Jess.

  • @hollirobbins3044
    @hollirobbins3044 3 роки тому +9

    "Chasing the Dragon is like touching the hand of God..."
    WOW!!!
    That quote is SO incredibly profound....

    • @freetobree5323
      @freetobree5323 3 роки тому +1

      What’s chasing the dragon??

    • @ZoeF.O
      @ZoeF.O 3 роки тому +2

      @@freetobree5323
      It's a crazy feeling that you always try to accomplish. It's when you are trying to feel like you were feeling THE FIRST TIME you did heroin. I hope you get me, English isn't my first nor second language, I'm from Amsterdam 🌷. Peace and love :)

  • @jeswith1s2009
    @jeswith1s2009 3 роки тому +20

    Well, as I wipe the tears away, trying not to sob like a baby, in front of MY baby; I remember the day I opened my parents medicine chest and found that giant bottle of assorted “candy”. Only a few at first I said. Well, a few turned into the whole 80+ OC’s I had found from my own mothers cancer remission. Thank God I have found my own way to recover that does not include painers and that I never had a “buddy” to hook me up with H. Truth is, I probably would have done it if he had.

    • @marsharowaihy6725
      @marsharowaihy6725 3 роки тому +4

      You know what that’s crazy you said that. I got addicted to pain killers and for some insane reason, I took my moms Vicodin, which was crazy, I was like so against drugs. I still don’t understand why I did it. Anyway, yeah it happened to me too. One day I was sick coming off opioids and this girl said she had pills, and by the way I was Really sick, and anyways she was taking forever and she said, I lied to you it’s heroin (I think I spelled it right). Anyways, I turned around and looked at my son and then said Hell No.

    • @ZoeF.O
      @ZoeF.O 3 роки тому +2

      @@marsharowaihy6725
      Thank every day for your own sanity and for saying : "Hell, no!" 🖤

  • @ItsSAMwichnotSANDwach
    @ItsSAMwichnotSANDwach 3 роки тому +3

    My 1 year sober date will be February 15th. From H and Meth. Thank you for sharing your stories. Im in the finally stages of getting my kids back too. so Hearing You talk about the same things i have gone through and you being able to get away from that life and stay sober has helped me alot. Thank you and keep it up💙

  • @kritkratt6383
    @kritkratt6383 3 роки тому +7

    I remember the first time i did heroin like yesterday. I was 17 and on the traintracks with a friend who had just copped for us. She shot me up for the first time (yes i injected from the very beginning) and then it was off the the races. That started an 8 year cycle of relapse and regret. Im finally clean for good and expecting twin boys in the spring.
    Looking back i was such a baby. Literally had just got out of school for the day and shooting up heroin.

  • @leahxpearl
    @leahxpearl 3 роки тому +8

    "bro I don't have an appendix - that's not gonna work" LOL :p

  • @Igothellajordans
    @Igothellajordans 3 роки тому +5

    Damn Jen ur story telling ability is off tha charts!!! I felt like i was watchin a good ass movie!!! Great vid as always!!!!

  • @lynnspeelman5645
    @lynnspeelman5645 3 роки тому +9

    You and Jerred possibly having heart issues scary thank God y'all don't smoke cigs anymore! Please take care of yourselves not just for you but for Bella as well. Have a great time with Jess 💙 God bless 🌟💯❤️

  • @MariaaGabrielle
    @MariaaGabrielle 3 роки тому +11

    In a few days I’ll be six months sober from heroin :) and ten months from meth.

    • @jadealyx8039
      @jadealyx8039 3 роки тому +1

      Hell yes. We got this. I hope you're still doing good. Less than 6 months for me from fetty. 💪

  • @paulstuartwilson485
    @paulstuartwilson485 3 роки тому +1

    That feeling of "the whole world just straightened itself out and I am totally in line with it" with no sickness, pain, or ill feeling or anything wrong with the world.... Been there and done that. The dragon is a powerful beast (doesn't matter if it's heroin, meth, alcohol, or whatever). The beast is still a beast and not a forever solution to any problem. The only true solution is to get away from the beast and leave it behind forever. Whatever that looks like to you. God bless.

  • @L._._
    @L._._ 3 роки тому +6

    That “not done yet” feeling is the worst ♥️

  • @j-s-m-rasmr5292
    @j-s-m-rasmr5292 3 роки тому +5

    I have relapsed so many times just to feel that transition from sick to 💯!! I have two years clean now - by the grace of God and recovery! I know I can’t just use once! This story is so much like mine and many! I was sick from pills the first time I tried H too ugh

  • @thehibernatingturtle4016
    @thehibernatingturtle4016 3 роки тому +3

    This is my first video of yours. Wow.
    Edited: because holy, you paint a clear and frightening picture for someone who's never used beyond pot.
    Subbed.

  • @monitalks8150
    @monitalks8150 3 роки тому +1

    “after that i spent everyday searching for that feeling” deadass. a feeling you never find again no matter how much of it you do. thanks for sharing 🤍 so happy for how far you’ve gotten!

  • @shachaney8360
    @shachaney8360 3 роки тому +1

    Addiction gets the best of you! You think to yourself, “I’ll never do this again” and when it comes to the needle you think, “that’ll never be me” Until.....it is you & me and every other addict that used it drugs. I remember telling my mom, “I’m not like you” when my addiction started, I ate those words with the quickness and detox is like nothing I can explain. Later in life I started a meth addiction so I relate to your story but I’ve been sober a little over a year now. Im happy there’s UA-camrs like you and Jessica to help people like me get & stay right. ❤️

  • @meggrim1000
    @meggrim1000 3 роки тому +1

    I am so proud of you Jen. This video reminds me of one of my first childhood friends who got hooked on pills in middle school and eventually went to heroin. She died of a heroin and fentanyl overdose when she had just turned 17. I’m so glad that your story didn’t end that way. i’m so proud of you for doing what you need to do to get bella back. you’re a super hero

  • @graceannna
    @graceannna 3 роки тому +11

    I can’t even think about those withdrawls. I would be puking and shitting at the same time while FEVEROUSLY sweating with complete chills down my body. I would compare it to possession 😂

    • @justinmcdonald3578
      @justinmcdonald3578 3 роки тому +2

      Its the worst feeling in the world. Those who've never experienced it can't imagine. I really wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Congratulations on your sobriety, you're so strong!

    • @mellyray3017
      @mellyray3017 3 роки тому

      @Jolene 420 omg I'm glad someone else felt that! I always felt like I was sicker than everyone else. They could eat, sleep...my last time in rehab I literally didn't eat for 3 weeks. Would NEVER wish it on anyone. I'll get it together one day. Of course got addicted to xanax because I had the great idea that I could detox off of dope through xanax. One day....one day.

  • @Lee-rg7yn
    @Lee-rg7yn Рік тому

    Wow! Jen, what a story. I can so relate. I never actually shot H. I smoked it, did pills, and actually shot meth, I myself am a recovering addict/alcoholic. Love your video. You are a miracle. I found your channel on Jessica Kent's page. So glad you are sober and doing well. I love all of you girls so much. Jessica, you and Chrystina Randall. Thanks for the videos. Love your channel.

  • @ColdBodiesTV
    @ColdBodiesTV Рік тому

    it’s super sad that the first time you were introduced to H, it was via IV. Like damn bro could’ve told you to 👃 it. But everything that happened led to you being clean now ❤ super happy for you, Jen. Thanks for being vulnerable and sharing your honest story.

  • @Logan_rae17
    @Logan_rae17 3 роки тому +2

    I hope you and Jess will be able to make a video together ❤ love yall. Have a great time!!

  • @MScrista24
    @MScrista24 3 роки тому +1

    “The day I lost my soul” KILLED ME😭😭 god I am so grateful for the sobriety I have it’s so hard

  • @laura7063
    @laura7063 3 роки тому

    OMG that sickness is indescribable to anyone that’s never experienced it. Sitting on the toilet with the trash barrel in front of you so you can shit and puke simultaneously all while your pouring sweat and teeth chattering cold. Ugh. I never did H but I was a PIG with 30’s and was in literal heaven the day I was shown how to freebase them rather than chew or sniff them. Thank the lord I put myself in detox 5 years ago. It was a living hell!!! Your description was 💯
    Have fun with Jess!!! 🥰

  • @marsharowaihy6725
    @marsharowaihy6725 3 роки тому +5

    My mom had cancer and that’s how I started my opioid addiction, crazy! I still to this day don’t know why I took them came out of NO Where! The crazy part I’d take the Vicodin’s but not the morphine. I remember one time I was on my way back home from outpatient treatment and I gave my friend a ride that was in recovery from heroin and I went to pick my moms morphine up, and she asked what I was getting and I said morphine. She looked at me like I had 3 heads, and she said your not going to take it, and I said hell no, I don’t mess with that, she said I’ve never met an opioid addict that would take blue heavens. This always stuck me. The reason why is bc my mom got addicted to them thru the cancer, and I was always terrified to mess with them until the day I came off methadone. Words don’t describe how sick I got from not having methadone. That withdrawal I could see turning someone into a criminal. Worst withdrawal I’ve ever seen or felt in my life.

  • @LacedInChains
    @LacedInChains 3 роки тому +1

    So happy to hear you get to finally go visit Jess and fam!! Can't wait for the collabs! Thanks for sharing your stories with us. You're amazing. Have a great vacation! Love you!
    💜💜💜🤟🏼🤟🏼🤟🏼🤟🏼

  • @DarkbutNotsinister
    @DarkbutNotsinister 3 роки тому +2

    Hi Jen & friends! I just looked at some comment replies on other channels....yeah.....I like it here so much better.

    • @JenCutting
      @JenCutting  3 роки тому

      Lol. Well you are loved here. 😘

  • @yuliamokhnachyov4621
    @yuliamokhnachyov4621 3 роки тому +1

    Damnnnn, I felt this to my core - I’ve never IVd smack, and I had used pills for ages, but as soon as I started smoking H, everything changed. This video gave me goosebumps and made me cringe at the same time, because I’m so fucking glad to be out of that world and be clean. Much love as always girl xxx 💕

  • @dakotahajipour7303
    @dakotahajipour7303 3 роки тому +1

    So many of our stories right here...prescription or not. Sending ❤️ as always!

  • @elsiehamstra1017
    @elsiehamstra1017 3 роки тому

    Your interaction with your community and go bags have inspired my wife and I to have snacks and goodies on the ready for people in need. Thank you for what you do for your community both in the world and here online :)

  • @themapsarewrongandthetimel8722
    @themapsarewrongandthetimel8722 3 роки тому

    Found your channel thru your interview with Jess...I see 2 soul sisters who have realized their worth!! So grateful you have a channel. Been detoxing from long-term high dosage methadone...from 135 mgs. a day for 12 years...finally down to 12 mgs., and struggling bc I went up a couple of mgs. just for 3 weeks to get thru the holidays. I am a felon too, did 3 years long ago in GA, got out, went back to college got my Paralegal degree. Currently raising 3 granddaughters (my husband's daughter from a prior marriage was killed by the girls' father) and trying so hard to get off this stuff and still keep it together for my family. My husband is a felon as well, who went back to college after prison and earned a professional degree and is doing so well. In fact, he's been sober for a VERY long time, and I met him at my first AA meeting after rehab. 13th stepped, but it was 18 years ago, so occasionally those things work out.
    I already love this channel. Thank you for being so brave to share so much with us. It really helps a lot on these hard days.

  • @shannonmccarthy3461
    @shannonmccarthy3461 3 роки тому +4

    Yup by the time you count to 10 you can taste it in the back of your throat and your body is warm its crazy how truly fast it kicks in and after getting off E your on top of the world

  • @Catlady003
    @Catlady003 3 роки тому

    Jen, so sorry if my story was offensive, sometimes it is needed but was a bit graphic. No disrespect intended but thank you so much for your story. Met your channel a while ago from Jess and have been binge watching since ♥️♥️♥️🌞🌞🌞

  • @tylerbennett4908
    @tylerbennett4908 3 роки тому

    Thanks as always for sharing your story, reducing shame for people battling with addiction and helping people who have been affected understand. I've had quite a few holters, my dysautonomia happens mostly in response to hormones so it can be hard to catch on any given day. Here's to hoping that answers will be found, you'll find a great Cardiologist and solutions come soon.

  • @laurenoneil6263
    @laurenoneil6263 3 роки тому

    This is very similar to the first time I IV'd but not the first time I used heroin. Glad you got better and you're doing such amazing things for your community!

  • @AngelMary
    @AngelMary 3 роки тому

    Thank you for sharing your story Jen. My story is similar but very different at the same time. I was prescribed opiates myself for almost 20 yes. Then my Dr just cold turkey cut me off. No reason other than he just didn't want to prescribe them any more. I was fine for a while because I never abused them but I did need them & was on them for a legitimate reason for pain. I dealt with the pain & attacks for a few months before I got one that was too much to bare & the rest is history. We all have our own stories of how we found the path to addiction & the path to sobriety. Some of us struggled longer than others, took detours, sadly some found dead ends, but those of us who have made it out & can share our stories with others should never be ashamed to share it. It's our story & the fact that we walked that path & made it out the other side alive is something that we should be proud of.
    I sent you an email Jen. It's pretty long. Don't worry about getting back to me right away. Enjoy your time with Jess. I just didn't want to forget to send it. I just needed your advice on some training/degree information.

  • @sarariegel
    @sarariegel 3 роки тому

    Hope you have an amazing time with Jess! You are both so inspirational!

  • @veronicanevermo4237
    @veronicanevermo4237 3 роки тому

    Hello Jen 🤗❤. I love to listen to you and i am also a drug addict in long time recovery too. I live in Norway,in Oslo,and you are doing so good job helping other people at the same time you have your own life with all ups and downs 😰😷. I am on metadon and working as a barista. Your story about you take heroin as first time is so sad. I love you Jen and stay safe,helty and sober in your way . PEACE AND LOVE to you and your love ones ❤🌹☮☯️🌟😷🤗🙏🙌✌💙💚💛💜🧡🕯Big hugs from me to you 😘

  • @tinachappelle3232
    @tinachappelle3232 3 роки тому

    Girl, I totally hear your story. That feeling will never leave me, either. The taste coming through my mouth, up from my feet to my head was the most amazing but scariest thing I’ve ever done as an addict. I hate it, but loved it. and I was ALWAYS, ALWAYS: no needles! Until I got sick & the dope I had wasn’t the smokable or snorting “type” if you know what I mean. Glad you got out!

  • @erinerinerinOOO
    @erinerinerinOOO 3 роки тому

    Thank you for sharing this, Jen!

  • @MandyLand08
    @MandyLand08 3 роки тому

    Hey, mama 😘 💕 Your videos are real. I appreciate the rawness! I am 6 years Sober From H & all the drugs lol. I am a huge fan of Jess. I have learned so much about you. I really hope you get full custody of your little girl! Like fucking Soon girl! Sending my prayers & love! 💗😘🥰

  • @bettedaviseyes6613
    @bettedaviseyes6613 3 роки тому +4

    Omg I feel this story so hard. Those sick times when you will do anything to feel better.

  • @isadrug3254
    @isadrug3254 3 роки тому

    Hi Jen🤗 I never thought about it that way, but now, after so many years, I think that when I took the hero I also lost part of my soul irretrievably😵

  • @trapmonkey2529
    @trapmonkey2529 3 роки тому

    You are incredible❤ so beautiful and so strong🥰 I love what you do to help people who are struggling💕 God bless you🙏

  • @peczetka1
    @peczetka1 3 роки тому

    Video is 5 days old and I only just got the notification!! It showed on my feed though, I seen it already 😁😁😁

  • @MS-hk1bi
    @MS-hk1bi 3 роки тому

    Yay! just what I needed this morning while getting ready for work 🥰

  • @marsharowaihy6725
    @marsharowaihy6725 3 роки тому +10

    Jen I had a question, you ever thought about doing true crime like Jessica Kent friend Christina Randall? Your good with the camera and if you like 20/20 or 48 hours it would be an interesting job-besides I know a lot of editing goes into videos that I know nothing about. But I thought a lot of people are interested into what’s going on like the Chris Watts case, still pretty big, or even someone old that’s interesting to hear, Christina just did Lorane Bobit-not spelling it right, but I’m saying this cause I think you’re Really good as a UA-camr and why not make some good money while doing it.

  • @incensejesus
    @incensejesus 3 роки тому

    new subscriber here from the Ride or Die crew 🥰 keep it up! your story is so inspiring ❤️

  • @arcaine3907
    @arcaine3907 3 роки тому

    Hello, I'm also an opiate addicdt ... I'm 3 days sober now and it feels so bad after few years of active addiction... I mean I weaned myself to 50mg of tramadol so I;'m not "sick as a dog" like you said but anyway yeah it feels like crap. Good Luck in Life and don't ever go back

  • @grantrule6593
    @grantrule6593 3 роки тому

    Your An Amazing Human Jen

  • @amandaholley8068
    @amandaholley8068 3 роки тому

    Those Holter monitors are so different now. I had one because of my panic disorder. It was all ekg leads connected to a big box. My niece had one last week and I was like “Where is it?”. So cool compared to when I was like 12. Hopefully they will show nothing or something minor.

  • @hollywood2499
    @hollywood2499 3 роки тому +2

    I'm 11 days off alcohol and I haven't had my prescription xanax for 4 days now. I had a seizure in my sleep last night. My boyfriend laid next to me completely unaware and I told him what happened when he woke up this morning. I can't get my xanax until tomorrow and I felt like I was gonna have another seizure so I had him go get a bottle of wine at 7 am. I woke up shaking and crying this morning after the seizure and nightmares all night long. I didn't want to "cave in" and drink but at this point if I didn't, it would do me more harm than anything. I didn't even realize how bad I had gotten...I was recently diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver after contracting Hep C when I was using IV heroin 12 years ago. I went through the treatment for the cure last year and while I"m virus free for over a year now, the damage has already been done to m liver because I drank constantly on top of having Hep C. So it was kinda too little, too late. I picked a horrible time to quit drinking. I feel so ashamed that I'm drinking at 8:42 am. I feel so out of control...I'm also in suboxone withdrawals. I have low doses of Valium but they aren't holding me. It's doing literally nothing for me. I put the needle down 7 years ago. But I just can't stop the xanax, suboxone and alcohol......it's awful...I spent the whole morning crying and shaking....Thanks for your videos Jen! They help a lot!

    • @JenCutting
      @JenCutting  3 роки тому +4

      You need inpatient babe. They will medically detox you. Doing this at home isn't safe. How can I help? Where do you live?

    • @hollywood2499
      @hollywood2499 3 роки тому +1

      @@JenCutting I can’t go to detox. I can’t handle the shame and guilt especially from my mother and stepfather. They have no idea how bad things are. I think once I get my Xanax I’m gonna do a slow taper and just keep trying not to drink. Thanks for reaching out Jen. I feel so lost...I have my entire life..:

    • @JenCutting
      @JenCutting  3 роки тому +3

      What about like a 48 hour one?

    • @bettedaviseyes6613
      @bettedaviseyes6613 3 роки тому +1

      I'm crying for you please let Jen help they would rather you be alive and it's so dangerous to do this alone especially if you are already having seizures..I don't know how to help but I am praying for you. #wedorecover

    • @kavitadeva
      @kavitadeva 3 роки тому +2

      @@JenCutting just read your reply to this tragic situation.
      Jen "how can I help?"
      You are the real deal Jen. I love your willingness to serve.
      God bless.

  • @marissadamico3446
    @marissadamico3446 3 роки тому +4

    That's normally how it starts i kno with me it was oxy 80s were a big thing in my hs in jersey once they became impossible to find ppl started going into Camden nj to get dope...alot of the kids I went to hs with are dead its sad but thats what happends 💜💋🖤

    • @elliemeow6167
      @elliemeow6167 3 роки тому +1

      Yes. Same. Oxy was sooo popular when i was in hs. My freshman yr is when it started faded out but was still very much popular.
      I remember coming up w an acronym w a class mate. “All you need is FLOP”
      Foil, lighter, oxy, pen
      I thought this was funny at the time bc i didnt do it. Then-i started doing vics & then oxy, then did H. I was so scared the first time. When on a 2 week binge first time i tried it.

    • @marissadamico3446
      @marissadamico3446 3 роки тому +1

      @@elliemeow6167 where I went to school in jersey they were called bs for big boys oxy 80s and me and my friend were wacked and made up were b ed up from our feet up thought it was so funny then what assholes we were lol

  • @barbaralawrence-rodriguez2981
    @barbaralawrence-rodriguez2981 3 роки тому

    Have fun in Chicago! I didn't have any reaction when I was shot up with H. I'm so glad. Oh wait, I did itch a little bit and feel sick to my stomach. Peace.

  • @Catlady003
    @Catlady003 3 роки тому

    Please think about those that you could potentially leave behind if your stuff is laced with fentanyl. It will leave your loved ones with a hole in their souls 😭

  • @BRKLYNHARRIS
    @BRKLYNHARRIS 3 роки тому +2

    What is narcan? In Australia and not very common over here so never heard of it

    • @monstertoy4620
      @monstertoy4620 3 роки тому +1

      I'm Australian, we call it Naloxone. It's for free from every where, has your GP, Hospital, community health center or chemist . No prescription required

  • @DonC98
    @DonC98 3 роки тому

    I hope you guys are having a blast in chicago! I think situations like this story happen all too often. Thank you for sharing ❤️❤️❤️

  • @lesliebullock2930
    @lesliebullock2930 3 роки тому

    First view! Love it!

  • @jadealyx8039
    @jadealyx8039 3 роки тому

    Maybe its in another vid I have yet to get to but im kinda curious why do you and your hub live in different house/apt? Better for recovery? A court ordered thing? If too personal I'm sorry! Much love still and ill continue to watch all your vids, duh!♡

  • @SimplyRochelleParanormal
    @SimplyRochelleParanormal 3 роки тому

    Isnt it weird thinking bck on time's during addiction I wld use ANY EXCUSE to justify how often or how heavy I wld binge!! Often time's seeming like a 2 yr old in my decision making cuz WE ALL KNW A SHITTY DAY is PLENTY enuff excuse to heavily use whatever UR D.O.C IS!! It's like in recent yrs I have had to get to KNOW SOBER/CLEAN ME NOT on substance's and I am COMPLETELY DIFFERENT!! During those yrs my Sister had a nic name for me called BRUTUS Lol I have a very LOW B.S. tolerance anyway BUT THEN I didn't deal with NADA with NO THOUGHT PROCESS BEHIND IT ALL... AT ALL!! I'm sure U understand girl!! IDK it's bizzar to ME how our minds worked bck THEN as opposed to our thoughts an actions NOW! I'M THANKFUL EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY NOW!! AND AS OF NOW AT 43 I PASSED 2 YRS NOT BEING LATE ON PAYMENT'S FOR BILLS, OR NOT SKIPPING OUT ON OR NOT HAVING IT 100, ON MY RENT!! And THAT may NOT SOUND HUGE TO SOME.... BUT IT'S EVERYTHING TO ME♥️♥️ Thanks for Ur time an stories Jen!! I look forward to coffee with Jen n Jess every day U ladies upload!! Have a GREAT TIME IN CHICAGO WITH JESS n FAM!!U LADIES HAVE TO DO A CALAB FO SHO!! 😂😂 ENJOY GIRL FRIEND!! U VERY WELL DESERVE IT!!! Much love n respect from FL.!! ♥️♥️🌴🌴♥️♥️

  • @jenniferchenery1333
    @jenniferchenery1333 3 роки тому

    Your amazing and courageous. But stop playing with your hair no need to be nervous you lived it.

    • @JenCutting
      @JenCutting  3 роки тому

      Been doing it since I'm a child...

  • @venturevanessa6320
    @venturevanessa6320 3 роки тому

    If he had a needle idk why he didn’t have you snort it you can still snort it with the needle I’m sure you know what I mean if you seen someone do it once you got addicted I hate when someone shoots someone up when they’re sick I rather either not even say anything or offer that

  • @NancyB35
    @NancyB35 3 роки тому

    So from your heart not beating or stopping is your heart throwing off false PVCS which is actually related to too much caffeine or not enough water . Happened to me too!

  • @shannonmccarthy3461
    @shannonmccarthy3461 3 роки тому

    Never clicked so fast

  • @rheagalarneau1366
    @rheagalarneau1366 3 роки тому

    Your hair is almost exactly the same color as mine.

  • @kavitadeva
    @kavitadeva 3 роки тому

    Enjoy your vacation at Jess and Reeces house!

  • @annettef3297
    @annettef3297 3 роки тому

    Do you and Jarred live separately? Sorry if you've addressed this, I'm new to your channel and playing catch up. I realized you said you're at Jarred's house and you have an apt.

  • @SarahTheSassy71
    @SarahTheSassy71 3 роки тому

    I love you. thank you.

  • @cookymarie82
    @cookymarie82 3 роки тому

    I was unimpressed my first time, all this fucking hype around it and it was like whatever, psychedelics do so much more! I just snorted it, I was hell bent enough on trying it that I had a friend mail me some from the East coast. I'd messed with opiate pills in high school and a couple of times after, so I wasn't addicted to anything. I didn't bother again for over a few years, at which point some of my roommates and other friends had been messing around smoking black tar. It was like a social thing and figured it'd make it easier to puke, I was bulimic. But ended up *gaining* weight doing it a few times per week and was fucking pissed. Did that a couple of months or so, wanted to try shooting it. I already used ketamine intramuscularly when I did it and had for the last 2 yrs, so had needles always. Pretty easy since I didn't do it that often. So a roommates friend helped me & left me with a shot for later. Accustomed to drugs that get more interesting from doing More, I had a roommate give me the rest about half an hour later. Woke up in the hospital. I smoked it a couple of times after then gave it a rest for a couple of months. Then back to a few times per week but shooting, was now dating the roommates friend, who was a heroin addict. During my period of not using at all and playing around some, everyone else was getting hooked. I moved away with this guy to a new state and the recession hit, and he was different when we were by ourselves. I was unemployed & miserable and heroin was easy to get, he found a delivery hookup within a month of living here. So I was doing it on a basis of what was affordable - between once and twice per week and weeks long binges. It was in this time frame it became more of an acquired taste. The binges got longer, the time between got shorter. After a 12 week one I decided to take a break when I went back to Phoenix to get my license reinstated. Back to an ex roommates place, and they were all fully hooked. It was down there where sickness hit, real sickness, not like the little ones that started happening after some binges that were uncomfortable, but I could function ok & deal with it. So that break didn't last, but I was glad getting hooked happened with my bf and not with my friends, as I watched them lie to each other and rip each other off. Went back home after a few days. I did try to quit every several weeks for the first couple of years, but hated being both on it and off it. I eventually accepted it. I had some unstable and difficult periods, but mostly maintenance used and mostly held stuff together ok. Some of my old friends ended up in all sorts of wretched situations. However, that entire group endsd up quitting in waves, except one girl whose use and addiction preceeded the rest, she died of liver failure. And I'm still on it, 12 years later, although at a level very similar to a few years in. I had several where by base amount was around 2/3-3/4 a gram, and periods of a gram per day. Just decided I can't do it forever, so may as well slowly bring it down. But been about the same amount since last year now. I'm definitely glad I did cut down or the pandemic would be much harder and not sure where I'd be now. I think that not everyone necessarily is chasing it right off the bat, a lot do the pill switch like you, but I think otherwise it has to be the right drug that does whatever the person is looking for, or the right circumstances that make you need something that just softens the edges, make you not care how much things suck. It certainly didn't do enough for me in the period I was perfectly happy, but it did what I needed when I wasn't. The positive side effects are that it evens me out instead of riding long bipolar waves, and I probably would have been through at least a few periods of heavy self injury and of eating disorders by now, instead of just a few isolated incidents here and there. Sometimes that concerns me regarding stopping, how to live with those issues I've been taken out of for over a decade, so feel less equipped to just live with and through them like I did before.

  • @marsharowaihy6725
    @marsharowaihy6725 3 роки тому +1

    Damn, I bet your liver levels were high as hell with the Tylenol in the Vicodin’s, taking that many in such little of time

  • @perronechris98
    @perronechris98 3 роки тому

    your doing good mama bear

  • @carlasuannepoohlockett3259
    @carlasuannepoohlockett3259 3 роки тому

    Hi from Oklahoma!

  • @tonyasullivan1164
    @tonyasullivan1164 3 роки тому

    8 play I wish I had. I wish I had the guts to tell me a story

  • @sarahgasperini1506
    @sarahgasperini1506 3 роки тому

    ❤️

  • @debbiefinn6483
    @debbiefinn6483 3 роки тому

    U ARE MY DAILY INSPIRATION...I LOVE YOU JEN....I THINK I NEED HELP WITH SOMETHING.....IF U AV TIME COULD WE TALK..XXXX

  • @kritkratt6383
    @kritkratt6383 3 роки тому

    I also used to steal my moms vicodin 10s

  • @moontan_
    @moontan_ 3 роки тому

    ❤ Hi..

  • @bruceheitkamp1724
    @bruceheitkamp1724 3 роки тому

    Sounds like it may be A-Fib

  • @letycherra7485
    @letycherra7485 3 роки тому

    Eww considering the fact u never did heroin before why didn’t he tell u to smoke it or snort it. Instead of shooting it right up that’s too hard core for a first timer

  • @aaliyahjane
    @aaliyahjane 3 роки тому

    that one dislike is lame smh

  • @debbiefinn6483
    @debbiefinn6483 3 роки тому

    Jen can i jus ask did ur heart problems come from meth? Just curious... I hope ur both ok...xxx