The Regrets of a Harvard Graduate

‪@TejasHullur‬ ‪@Dylanlemay‬

[@trykarat]

Heres the FULL INTERVIEW :) ua-cam.com/video/JyKvwhK5AzA/v-deo.html

[@pauldexterdolientas9767]

1@@❤@№2,àl

[@regbhyyu]

Your older self would have done the same thing. You are humble bragging for views.

[@ChronycLove]

I didn’t even need to go to Harvard to get depressed 💪😎

[@strawberrybrowniesforfree]

lmfaoooo

[@EughhBrothereughh]

Work smarter not harder 💪

[@yusinu6642]

Lmfaoo look at us go 💪

[@EndangeredHomosapien]

Exactly!🫣

[@sagarhembram6275]

Idk he has both Harvard degree and depression. On the other hand you and me have only depression

[@tansymccray7905]

Thankyou for being so honest about your feelings

[@motalkbadazs]

its not a feeling. Its the reality of certain majors in college. He didnt express emotion

[@JohnnyLarkin]

💀💀💀💀

[@camokittie9964]

​@@motalkbadazs he's definitely expressing himself

[@Jokerxeno1]

@@camokittie9964 HE’S LITERALLY NOT YOU BIMBO

[@mnmnooxx0]

Lmao bye😭

[@Nullmeo]

I’m from a Filipino family. Everytime my brothers and I say something about a career path other than nursing, our mom always exaggerated the benefits of nursing while downplaying any other career path. Long story short, don’t be fooled by parents who pretend to support your choices, because they don’t actually respect your decisions. They’re just hoping to be happy through what you choose. Some of them have valid advice, but there comes a point where you need to be your own person, and sometimes, that means unavoidably making your parents unhappy.

[@TwintailsVtuber]

Hi, I guess it is time to move out of my Filipino parents' house

[@justfun5479]

Yes, you're right. It's tough, but sometimes you need to say no.

[@Rain-tg2ji]

Hapiness should always comes first..... Don't listen to any kind of advice that will never lead you to the happy life you want.... Being all prestigious is awesome but in the end of the day you will just realized whats the point of it, if it's not make you happy??😢

[@alyssawoodman]

Most nurses aren't happy so this Mom can shove it.

[@milktaejams1889]

im going through the same thing,, my fili parents don't care about anything else but me being a nurse even though im not meant for it and it won't make me happy

[@common_wolf]

I got into Stanford. One year I was super depressed. My dad who had changed his life after serving prison who pushed me to stanford...suggested I drop out and attend city college to take the pressure off. I moved in with him and it changed my life...transferred to the local state college and graduated working as a engineer with only 17k of debt. The pressure was gone and my dad let me grow into my calling. Thank God for my dad Big Fig. I was the first ever in his family to go to college.

[@LetGo0007]

Love your name, your profile picture, and your story 🙏

[@BabylonGateLA]

How long does it take to become engineer?

[@malikapollard3618]

Your dad was dying of tuition.

[@celestialorb1680]

​@@BabylonGateLAmost engineering jobs require a bachelors degree which is 4 years

[@common_wolf]

@@BabylonGateLA 5 years for me to graduate. Pass the EIT for civils you can take last year of college. PE exam after 2 years working under a PE...you become officially recognized as a PE.

[@clarkkant5322]

There is a big difference between powering through something because at the end there is something you love, and forcing yourself through something in the hopes that something worth loving will be at the other end.

[@topsykretts2264]

Agreed!

[@_Hollie_]

Yep especially with the way schooling has gone in recent year I honestly think student drop out rates are only likely to increase from here.

[@TheIgnoramus]

Planning is life’s big joke. Might as well shoot for the stars and land on the moon.

[@trumpssleepparalysisdemon8569]

But 4 years are gonna pass anyway, so why not spend it on a degree compared to not having a degree 4 years later and still working that shitty 9-5?

[@mehlanie13]

I don't get it

[@spurslegacy]

I got into a good school and felt the same way my first two years. And it made my grades worse each semester. And then I stopped taking it so seriously after that and once I got my mental state right, I finished my last 4 semesters with honors easily despite less studying. It’s incredible how your mental well-being can affect things.

[@punbishal5874]

Preach

[@chubbypanda3398]

This is really true your mental health really matters

[@Guest32198]

I hate school

[@Guest32198]

@@Azula524 your crazy to study for 17 hours you don't even need that much hours to study

[@Guest32198]

@@Azula524 you only need to study for a few hours and you can ace the exam

[@joyous8248]

This hit home .. 2005 my cousin 22, attended a prestigious college… we all thought he was happy & wanted to attend there .. until we got a call that he was no longer w/ us … he left a letter apologizing to his parents that he was beyond depressed & stressed out 😰 & that he let them down & himself… rest easy cuz… you’re truly missed & forever in our hearts ❤️ 😢🙏🏽🌸

[@chem7553]

that's horrible! hope you guys are all okay💗💗💗

[@zrfrilapn9943]

deep condolences 😢

[@hobomike6935]

That’s too bad, he missed out on all the fun of the 2010s.
If it was post-2020 I could understand KYSing, but to do it at school in 2005 is just sad. You still had a decade and a half of good life ahead of you!

[@diddlypoop]

@@hobomike6935 yo momma didnt raise you right

[@solo3281]

I swear I might be in that cousin's position soon

[@Ohemma.theafricanbabe]

I am grateful to my parents for not pushing me to get a masters or a PhD, even going to college was optional, they said i could learn a trade if i wanted to or do other things. Left school in my second year to start up my business, and went back to graduate a year later. No pressure, my parents weren't trying to live there dreams through me. Thank you papa and ma.

[@chaskaabyayala3838]

Not everyone has papá mama to start up a business venture 🤡

[@Ohemma.theafricanbabe]

@@chaskaabyayala3838 you are the biggest clown here, I started my business with a 2 year SME loan, and my parents gave me money too, because they are my parents and responsible for me, I come from Nigeria and family is a strong unit, if you aren't privileged to have supporting parents, it's not my cup of tea, you just one salted being. Get healed or never.

[@FunnyAwesomeVideos]

@@chaskaabyayala3838cry about it

[@maria_maria3568]

​@@FunnyAwesomeVideos😭😭

[@AnotherSpectatorBro]

@@chaskaabyayala3838totally missed the point 🤡

[@slixnoir]

"Suffering makes you stronger." Except not all suffering is necessary...

[@chem7553]

true. that said, some of it is.

[@mecanuktutorials6476]

Suffering can also weaken you. It’s the recovery that strengthens you.

[@malikapollard3618]

Thank you!

[@xaevius5319]

@Ego lifter123 still romanticizing suffering i see

[@Hello-hello-hello456]

​@@egolifter1235Suffering can drain you if you don't know how to/don't have the energy to recover properly.

[@CookieMangler]

College is a fantastic way to get deep in debt and deeper into depression.

[@Hddftkkk]

That’s why it’s crucial to get full ride or lots of scholarship

[@tomnicholls2454]

What’s the alternative, and can you make a living doing it?

[@CookieMangler]

@@tomnicholls2454 The truth? Don’t go to college, go to a TRADE SCHOOL. Learn a trade and you will have job stability.
All the things your teachers tell you are all lies meant to convince you to worship the government because you think you’ll get free money while the “elite” teach their kids valuable skills in private schools.
*Incase you were wondering, private schools aren’t obsessing over things like pronouns for years and years, they just want you stupid, and you won’t get Social Security, the money will be spent on idiot teachers that’s job is teaching “equity” as in “Keeping all the kids equally stupid”.
Without a trade, you will be on welfare.
Good luck.

[@CookieMangler]

@@Hddftkkk Colleges that are “Woke” are a waste of time. They’re a scam now.

[@F32Aidan]

@@tomnicholls2454 The world will always need electricians, plumbers, hvac workers, drywall, brick layers, pretty much any trade is future proof an guaranteed a good salary

[@SR-mv2mf]

Am also Asian and I was pushed so hard to achieve academic success and get into the best university when I didn’t get into the best university I felt like my life was meaningless. I went about the next 10yrs of my thinking that I am a loser and chose jobs that made me feel like a loser. It is really sad.

[@Subject1097]

That’s pathetic. Grow up.

[@Selsmittenxo]

Similar for me here. The pressure is real, but I ended rebelling and following my own path, but I felt low about myself for years

[@Subject1097]

@@Selsmittenxo I’m happy you found a way to rebel! Good for you!

[@tg7048]

That’s the kind of son-in-law I want. Intelligent, but knows the value of happiness. Life is short. ❤

[@norainid.2970]

And job/money is scarce.

[@JL-rx7ou]

I bet his parents are proud they have a Harvard grad to boast about to their friends and strangers

[@favray]

Ye they prolly are and should be

[@ivanlau7262]

@@favray should be my ass. He’s fucking miserable

[@jinfin221]

​@@favray no one cares

[@sessionQ]

don’t think that’s the point of this 💀

[@favray]

@@jinfin221 okay redditor💀

[@shree8994]

"If you're miserable, you can succeed."
I could never put those feelings in words. Thank you. Now I know, what I thought.

[@Dingdingdangdaizi]

Same

[@trumpssleepparalysisdemon8569]

But 4 years are gonna pass anyway, so why not spend it on a degree compared to not having a degree 4 years later and still working that miserable 9-5?

[@shree8994]

@@trumpssleepparalysisdemon8569 I couldn't understand, what you wanna conclude here. I already have a degree and am a doctor. Tbh, 9-5 jobs don't seem miserable. Idk why people hate that so much.

[@dredpool3927]

@@trumpssleepparalysisdemon8569 a degree won’t guarantee you a high paying job.

[@trumpssleepparalysisdemon8569]

@@dredpool3927 depends what major you pick.

[@abhradipkundu3605]

Damn man as a 21 years old college student who have same feelings, this seems very deep to me.

[@GoogleAccount-po1gl]

As a 30 year old with no college degree.. i will say..unless you have a plan, go to college and get a usefule well paying degree..
would you rather have a job that you hate but make good money..
or would you rather make little money and still have a minimum wage job that you hate?
You have to look at learning in a differeng way. Sure, you might not enjoy school, but think how having that knowledge that you acquire will add value to you as a person
It's like a charcter in a video game. You can give your character more skills.
Do the same with you. Look at yourself as a video game character.
Then acquire skills to level up your self.
One way to level up is by going to college. and learning useful things.
Be curious about everything and learn about it so that you can store that knowledge in your brain.
Truly try to learn about things until they stick in your brain.
After, your brain will be like a library that only you have access to.
Many people won't have access to this library because they are not willing to put in the work and learn about things.
imagine you know how to repair a car..
if your car beaks down, you will know what to do.
imagine you are in a foreign country and you can speak their language...
if you need help, you can ask.
learn useful skills.
Education is power.

[@wish-56]

But some skills are useless​@@GoogleAccount-po1gl

[@lynako2546]

I always hoped that the next big thing will make me happy: getting into a top uni, studying abroad, internship in a prestigious firm, etc, but they didn’t. I realized it’s a pattern and I got depressed. I’ve wasted my whole life suffering for things that don’t bring me joy.

[@ChiekoGamers]

The education system is designed to make you a good employee

[@anish9342]

Is that a bad thing?

[@ChiekoGamers]

@@anish9342 Being a brainwashed sheep? Yes, it's a bad thing and it affects the entire society.

[@divygyl_2979]

@@ChiekoGamers the education system is just programming. More educated = a more brainwashed matrix fool. sad reality!

[@anish9342]

@@ChiekoGamers Would you rather have that humans still had to hunt for food?
If you want to benefit from the system you also have to contribute to the system in some way right? Healthcare, technology, food, clean water, housing.. These things are provided to us by people who went through the education system. How would they have knowledge about those things otherwise?
Education has nothing to do with being brainwashed. People were brainwashed in the past also when education system didn't exist.

[@ChiekoGamers]

@@divygyl_2979 The education system is rigged by the billionaires

[@dankodev]

This is so true. People say that you have to be disciplined in everything you do and just brute force it. But I think there's more to it. Every single person can be disciplined, but they need a purpose first.
A year ago I found my purpose in game development and machine learning, and I've been investing all of my effort into it ever since. I can confidently say that, in that single year, I've learned 3-4 times more than I would if I was forced to do it. I've never been this happy before. I'm nowhere near being an expert and I still have a lot to learn, but I know my direction now.
It's all about finding your purpose, your vision. There is no such thing as a bad student, only a student with no purpose. Keep an open mind and an open heart, and you will find your own purpose. You'll know it when you find it, because it'll show you how to walk through the darkest parts of life with a big smile.

[@darialomurno05]

I'm still hoping to find my "purpose" but I'm so happy for you

[@dankodev]

@@darialomurno05 You got this :D

[@darialomurno05]

@@dankodev ty 😁

[@iithunderii9800]

This is 100% right. Good luck!

[@peterparker9954]

But he is still very successful BECAUSE he was a good Asian student and got into Harvard !
Hardships are a part of a very accomplished life ! Get over it, snowflakes !

[@paultt7312]

only if my wife can understand this. let the kids do what they want for a year after high school. Let them think of what they want to do and who they want to become instead of going straight to college and getting into debt for no reason when they aren't ready

[@joebidet3606]

You better hope that they won’t waste that time and take a huge hit to their goals/motivation. Taking a gap is hard asf, and many kids lose their ability to maintain their studies

[@douba_plusa]

@@joebidet3606 Idk about gaps directly after HS but I had a very stressful HS experience and when I first went to college, it was much easier, but I lost interest then transferred schools & changed majors because I couldn’t imagine being unhappy for four years again. After a semester at my new school, I realized my new major wasn’t what I wanted to pursue as a career, rather it was a hobby of mine. Then, I took a semester off and found a major that actually motivates me (my current major). I will say, it’s much easier to get through the mental and emotional challenges of college if you have a strong reason for being there other than meeting an expectation of yourself or filling the time while you figure out what you actually want to do. Otherwise, you might be like me and sacrifice tens of thousands of financial aid because you’re confused, disinterested (and dumb enough to waste free money)

[@joebidet3606]

@@douba_plusa I pretty much agree with a lot what you’ve said - I’m even currently taking a gap or semester break from uni currently, however right after high school is risky.

[@jahanvisingh2555]

only if my parents thought like you do

[@paultt7312]

During that 1 year gap he will work under me as a electrician apprentice and my daughter would work at a hospital going for RN. They will not be sitting at home doing nothing. At that age they should learn how to take responsibility , how money works and how the world works.they can decide what they want as times go by while working.

[@CrimsonUniverse22]

“If it’s so miserable, you have to power through it, that’s probably a sign that’s not what you really want to do.”
I felt that in my soul.

[@bogoss2393]

That's because of the parents. They pressure you into being doctor and lawyer. Then you do it because you don't want to disappoint them. But you sacrifice your own happiness for that.

[@Shiningsnow]

Education system nowadays is the best way to fall deeper into your depression.

[@ailove313]

I agree

[@justfun5479]

Sadly.

[@gennyd.2925]

Wow..this hit home. As an Asian, my parents are both in the medical field, they made me follow their path even though I have no business being in the medical field. The sad thing is, when I went to school, I actually understood it, but it just didn’t feel right. Since I decided to do my own thing, my mom compares me to my other cousins who did what their parents told them and she sounds so disappointed. Do what makes you happy, if it’s ur passion you will make it work for you. It’s all about $, it has to make you money, even though you hate coming to work everyday. I have a strained relationship with my mom coz of it, I don’t tell her anything anymore coz all she does is judge and assume the worst. It’s like she doesn’t want me to be happy, or she thinks I’ll never be happy

[@Spiritina8]

Glad you made the choice to live for yourself and not live an unhappy life for others. Your mum's behaviour made you stand up and live for yourself...she may not have been able to stand up to her parents like you did...she gave you and others a huge gift even though it may not seem like it...its something amazing that you will pass on no doubt.
💜

[@amoldivo]

True, when my parents talking about how I should earn alot of money, I just plainly agreeing with them (but I have my own opinions and don't want to talk about it), and years ago, my dad kept telling me to study dentistry and comparing with our local dentist about how they make money and they travel alot blablabla (I thought to myself, wtf does that have to do with living happily? I mean, can't I earn money the other ways?! Lol)
Meanwhile my mom always share with me about how my cousins, and extended family, from our elders to the youngest, granted, most of the elderly in my family (my grandmother's siblings, graduated from prestigious universities overseas, my uncles and aunts from both my parent's side also graduated from famous universities, my cousins attending universities worldwide lol) and I am also attending pretty famous schools in 2 different countries (but I'm not the competitive type, I didn't care about my grades, almost never study, my policy is as long as I can pass the courses, I'm happy, and trying not to pressure myself and trying not to study lol, because I realise it's all good as long as I pass and grades don't matter) and I know my worth even though my cousins have achieved more (titles, achievements etc), but I'm pretty confident I have more knowledge than them (I'm jack of all trade, most of it is close to expert level, sounds like flexing but yeah, maybe I am lol 😅🤣)
But yeah, still searching for my unique and personal happiness 😊 being born into a Chinese family, the intimidation is there (getting compared to other family members 🤣 lol) but I'm chill about it and doesn't seem to affect me like the medias would portrait...

[@ForMelToHyde]

I wanted to go to school for music(nope should be a hobby), then I wanted to be a chef(nope not prestigious enough) so now im almost 30 and still depressed about what to do in my life. Just be happy

[@brndxt]

As an Asian, and based on my years of observation, Asian parents in general:
1) tend to prefer their children to go into a recognized profession, e.g., doctors, lawyers, engineers, etc. Especially if the parents are professionals themselves.
2) or tend to prefer their children to go for business management and investment, especially if the parents own a business.
3) or tend to favor the sciences and technologies over the humanities such as the arts, history, or philosophy.
Why? A major part has to do with their perception of income potentials, which can be derived from the academic degrees and professions being pursued.
Career choices that don't potentially fetch good income may be seen as 'impractical'.

[@amoldivo]

@@ForMelToHyde so what did you take in the end? I still think music (and languages) is better being a hobby, although I think it's alright if you really want to major in foreign languages (compared to music), but for chefs I think your parents should let you take it
(From someone who has backgrounds in engineering, art and languages, psychology, and who has hobby in music, I sing, not really a good pianist 😐 never tried cooking or baking or anything culinary, but I think it's fun 😀)

[@NSoul]

Amen, as a former Asian doctor, I second that testimony. There are not that many decades in a lifetime to be wasted on a career that makes you miserable.

[@YamiSamslayin]

What do you now as a living? Curious

[@dreadpirate3159]

So why would you do it in the first place?

[@chandikinkarmohapatra7486]

​@@dreadpirate3159 I would guess. It probably had to do with pressure from parents and them realising it very late in life.

[@scholaroftheworldalternatehist]

And we peak physically in our 20s so healthy lifespan is much shorter than one thinks

[@LittleBambi777]

Not only college but also work and career in general. I have a post-grad degree but I want to follow my own passion and become self-employed but my parents just think that I'm jobless, Asian parents of course. I tried to work for companies before and I felt so misserable, woke up everyday feeling like a zombie. I decided to quit and started my own business. They still criticize me sometimes but I don't care anymore. Don't let others stop you from living your dream life, it's your life and not theirs.

[@lovelailaa]

I love it, God called you to that business for a reason, not everyone is meant for the “traditional” route.

[@Sasu123456789x1]

This is completely so true! I hated college and pushed through to graduate. And I still feel the same... it was almost pointless. College really isn't for everyone and that's ok.

[@208crtyard]

Definitely right. Once in a while I still get a bad dream that I fail my final year and still stuck in usa. Unable to go back to malaysia. Eventhough I did pass, graduate and have been working for the last 30 years.

[@dipuahmed5616]

​​@@208crtyarddamn dude, the trauma remains in our subconscious mind and probably be there forever.
I hated school and I too sometimes dream of how horrible it was.

[@wastrelperv]

How do you move forward in life without college assuming one wants to work an "office job" like many college grads do? Not being sarcastic, I want to know. Seems it's hard enough to get such a job with a degree.

[@Smaggaface]

One of the best things i heard all day

[@Rpm617]

I agree 💯 %

[@Guest32198]

How you make a lot more money than if you didn't go to college

[@alwaysseething]

Cope

[@uncomfortabletruths7990]

Very true. We all need to find out passion, and what we love to do, never and I mean ever let anyone tell u that “if u don’t do this ur gonna regret it later” that’s is total bs

[@sagarhembram6275]

​@@uncomfortabletruths7990 it's like 'you are gonna be happy in my terms and conditions not the other way'

[@deeznutz3712]

In Germany, you don't need to go to class sometimes. Any class that not required attendence or got your material online, i mostly skip it & study it later on at home or library.
I struggle learning the old way on going to class, taking notes, etc, but after changing my way. I graduated better & feel more chill in life

[@marcuscicero9587]

that Harvard diploma that you busted your ass for is gonna help you get into what you really want to do - bigtime.

[@2fortsmostwanted]

Sometimes it IS what you want to do, but the structure and environment of college is not right for you, which is a really tough place to be in if your career requires lots of education to attain.

[@maylin1986]

Makes me wonder if the student in the video went to a different college, and was going to the similar classes, if his overall experience would've been better?
I've learned just because a college is the best of the best or not, doesn't mean jack-💩 if they pump burnt out citizens into the workforce. 🤷‍♀️
There's a very smart kid I watch on Tictok from time to time, and even they became burnt out and depressed with college.
The educational structure in some schools, leading students into college isn't good for a lot of people.
Kids that go to school in, I want to think Finland, don't go to school but 20hrs a week and they don't have homework to bring home. Because they want kids to be able to be kids and enjoy their childhood.
They believe in giving your brain time to rest, but if always studying and doing homework, it bulks down the brain.
Over in the US, I'm seeing teachers burnout. I'm seeing students burnout. Our education system is collapsing because it's not healthy.
Too bad, just like there's tests to place into classes, we couldn't do the same with colleges. To figure out which colleges and teachers best fit our learning styles at those colleges.
So that we can all excell in ways that works out for everyone to thrive, instead of powering through a set process that is apparently damaging a whole lot of people on the educational level.

[@CuongNguyen-zh2bl]

That is especially harder for people with adhd. I really wanted to be neurologist, but having to take everything else beside what I was interested about killed my motivation for it. Although it would’ve been nice, I found another path that doesn’t require bullshit courses.

[@Yeeha494]

@@CuongNguyen-zh2bl yeah I wanted to pursue physical therapy but ultimately decided I couldn’t do another 5 years with adhd and Ibs-c and costs of medical school. It’s just a stupid broken system with bloated requirements where you come out making a barely liveable wage (for how much money it costs for getting the job). It’s a scam and the best example of the system is made to make you an employee.

[@thatplatypusguy566]

That’s why people need purpose. The reason a lot of people can push themselves through those types of challenges is because they have a good reason for doing it.
There’s a double edged sword. On one end if you bust your butt with no purpose, you’re going to end up depressed and miserable. If you remain complacent and just do what makes you feel good, you may experience temporary happiness but overall you’ll lack fulfillment. In both cases, you need a purpose for what you are doing.

[@alifalawi]

Totally agree, been through those two extremes for years. We need purpose.

[@griselgriselda2901]

THIS what is comes down to!

[@nathanolson3135]

Yeah, money . That’s the reason most times .

[@thatplatypusguy566]

@@nathanolson3135 Money is not a purpose. Money is a tool to help you realize your purpose. Those who only seek numbers in a bank account will find themselves lonely and miserable. Those who seek the opportunities that financial freedom can bring are the ones who become fulfilled.

[@alifalawi]

@@thatplatypusguy566 agree

[@carsonrush3352]

This is half true. Discipline means putting off what you want to do in the short for what you want in the long-term. I think what happens more often is that we choose our end goals poorly. People that sacrifice short term pleasures for long-term success have better lives, but you have to define success properly. Don't choose riches, prestige, fun, or luxuries over building your talents to support the people you love and share your life with them.

[@liquid-sugar]

felt like this 2 years into college. all that studying and good grades was for my future but it all felt so empty, like i was missing a lot of things. which i did, i never got a happy youth because the fear of failing grades dragged me away from hanging out with my friends and just being a teenager. i stopped being too hard on my studies this time. my grades aren't as good as they used to be, but im happier now.

[@AnaLu07]

Same here. I'm 22, never got to enjoy my teen years and i don't enjoy my 20s because of that. I don't know if it's worthy, but i can't change it. I've been living like this for so long, i don't even know how to live different. Like, i don't even have friends anymore. I am a little miserable.

[@Just.Jose1208]

Tell me why this is so relevant! I got into Yale and I was happy for what felt like a week, but then I reflected on my journey in high school and let’s just say, I am living with full regrets!

[@luizmartinsba]

Did you get in this year?

[@cmonbts7910]

ik people don't really talk about regrets even when they're thought successful

[@Broc_Obama]

Can you give me any advice to get into Yale? I know what I want but idk if I have what they want.
I'm a sophomore in HS btw

[@pertder]

@@Broc_Obama yea say that you're transgender and make everything on your application about that

[@dingleberry4234]

@@Broc_Obama you not white? Bc that helps

[@elitehaxxor8025]

And also the fact that most Harvard students are used to being the absolute best, but then you get to the school with all the absolute bests and you're just average.

[@rissaheads6091]

Fun fact the smartest people are not at Harvard …. Just the lightest in skin color

[@chem7553]

yeah, I think this has been a big issue for me at university. I'm sure I'll be okay when I'm out.

[@Cash4Fruit]

I’m in my senior year of my accounting degree and feeling serious senioritis, I decided to just slow down and take one class at a time and focus more on working which I enjoy, as well as working out. Part of me was like am I allowed to do this?! All my classmates are losing their hair, stressed out taking five classes at a time… now I’m actually enjoying my classes and understanding the information, I’m not cramming and stressing. I’m graduating later but it’s worth it to me I’m building friendships/connections, my savings, taking care of my health, etc

[@lovelailaa]

That is amazing

[@dreamzennie]

so true, I pushed myself way too hard and got super depressed, failed a bunch of classes and now idk if I'll ever go back to college. oddly tho I feel grateful, bc I've learned that the journey is just as important and I shouldn't make myself miserable to be "successful". my definition of success has changed to happiness instead of the bullshit definition it used to be. I hope someone else can relate or learn from my mistakes. strive for happiness and be kind to yourself :) ❤

[@1ducttapeproduction]

Definitely related to that. I worked hard all four years of high school to go to college. I got accepted by 9 different schools. I finally chose a state school for less debt and more scholarship money. And I remember coming to this realization when I was in a history class and everything that was being taught I had already learned on my own in high school. Then, when I was assigned a group to do a project, there was an upperclassmen who sent me his part of the project that was so illegible that it was easier for me to just rewrite it myself than go through and correct it. I remember thinking, if he got into this college and still can't write AND is close to graduating, then what was the point of all the countless hours I spent trying to understand every. Single. Mistake. And learning from them to get here. All the hours I chose school work over hobbies or other interests. It made me sick.

[@toxicdubz3841]

well the world isnt fair and there arent distinct spots for everyone sometimes youre gonna be bunched in, dont know why it took you over 18 years to learn that.

[@sebfox2194]

If their work is that bad, then they will graduate with a poor grade, but I don't see why someone else's poor performance should make you feel like its not worthwhile to do better than them.

[@vanac.a.3168]

@@sebfox2194cause it usually doesn’t work that way. Less effort doesn’t always mean less ‘grade’. Some people have their ways of doing things the easy way. I think the person in the first comment is talking about how frustrating it is sometimes to see someone doing averagely good with minimal effort or interest, while one struggles to give the best of oneself and realizes most of the times it won’t get rewarded or even acknowledged. It is really frustrating for me to spend hours and sleepless nights working on an assignment, so another student gets the same grade as me doing mediocre work.
Doesn’t mean it is not worthwhile to do a better job for ourselves, but it sure can feel like it sometimes.

[@sebfox2194]

@vana C.A. I get your point that effort doesn't always equal grade or result. However, if another student can get the same grade as you by doing mediocre work, then by definition, your combined work is mediocre.
This is annoying for group work, which is why I just used to do all group work myself. I didn't care about fairness and everyone doing their share. I just cared about what grade I got. So, if others in the group couldn't do good work, then I made my groups' work good by myself, because in the end, the only thing that is going to affect me is the grade that I get. E.g. in job interviews, I might get asked about my grades, but I probably won't get asked about specific mediocre classmates' grades.
Also, group work is only a very small proportion of the overall grade on most programmes. The vast majority of exams and coursework is individual work. So if someone gets the same grade as you on individual assessments by doing mediocre work, then in that case, both of your work is simply being judged as mediocre.
In the past, I tended to work too hard on various academic assignments, but now I try to follow the Pareto Principle, or 80/20 rule, which states that for most tasks 80% of the results comes from 20% of the time worked, then the final 20% of the results come from the remaining 80% of the time. So, if you have a lot of tasks or assignments, it's better to put 20% of the maximum working hours into each task, to go for 80% of the results in every task, rather than going all out on one task, and not having enough time or energy left to do well on the remaining tasks. I think the general point there is about working smarter rather than just working harder. Good luck with your education anyway.

[@free22]

So very common. You become such a pro at withstanding pain that you don’t know how to recognize something you actually like to do. You can no longer recognize joy, much less “flow.”

[@lilsmurf1048]

I was so miserable during college. Got into depression but was too embarrassed to ask for help. And what happened? I failed so many classes but thank God I graduated (of course I graduated late, like 1.5 years late 😅).
But then, after graduating I didn't know what I want to do next. Currently unemployed and starting to learn something new outside my educational background, hoping I am finally able to do what want without feeling any pressure. My family is the main reason why I can get through all this. They're so supportive and never underestimated me even in my lowest ❤.
So for anyone who's going to college, please take your time to make the right decision.

[@akariooshella9229]

I remembered studying pharmacy for 2 years because of my parents and I was depressingly miserable and failing but now I am in first year of Uni studying to become Mathematics teacher 😊. You don’t need to be miserable to be successful.

[@grimreaper8354]

I relate way too much. Studied way too hard for something that wasn’t even my ambition. I realised I wanted something else. Asian parents however said “you might be feeling like this now and don’t want to do this, but in the future you will be happy. You can’t have an easy way out.”😭 it’s not about an easy way out though. It’s just about actually putting in effort for something I actually want.

[@amoldivo]

Good thing I realised this sooner, when I was in elementary school I aced most of my subjects, especially on our national examinations... I thought to myself if I study hard I'll only get 100 at max (maybe I matured too early 💀), but if I don't study, I'm also able to pass (although there's also the possibility of failing), then starting from middle school I've never really tryhard in studying anymore (but yes I do pay attention in class), I passed most of my classes (except for those I really don't care, eg: civics, economy, accounting etc) and I went abroad and did get into one of the best university (I could've tryhard abit more and got into the best uni there, but I purposely capped all my test result to 85, which I got exactly that 85.x, but didn't expect the top uni needed 90+, which I should've expected lol) but at least less study = less pressure and less depressed... well now I'm just trying to find what is the true happiness, unique to myself... as a jack of all trades and someone who doesn't care about alot of things (lack motivation), it's hard to find motivation, and therefore hard to actually feel (genuinely) happy (I'm chill most of the times, but I still don't know what my true happiness is) 😐

[@grimreaper8354]

@@amoldivo 85 is still great because your health matters too so I’m glad for you there and I hope u can find what makes you truly happy soon but don’t let it worry you so much just take life as it comes. :))

[@user-bi9wm2cw8b]

Exactly. If you’re doing something that you don’t enjoy doing, it’s probably not for you.

[@heerathapa1225]

I can't tell if I really don't enjoy it or it's just my depression making everything feel like a chore ugh

[@user-bi9wm2cw8b]

@@heerathapa1225 // ppl become depressed and miserable because they don’t have a meaningful goal/purpose in life. You’re probably doing something you don’t like doing. Reconsider your options in life. All the best

[@frivolousfemme]

Education is important irrespective of which college you get them from, don't let the big names fool you

[@lynako2546]

And also usually those top schools or firms, are filled with a bunch of competitive, aggressive and self-centered people who see it as a zero sum game. They’re not nice people

[@J1Dreamer]

My whole life I've wanted to be a veterinarian, it's been my dream ever since I can remember, but now as a highschool senior looking at the reality of it, 8 years of school if by some miracle I got in on the first try, 10 - 11 years realistically, has got me truly rethinking. I've found another calling in reptile rescue. Now everything I'm doing to become a vet is still so much fun, but in my heart it doesn't seem like my path so much anymore.
Thank you, I really needed to hear this.

[@LadyxBleu]

The system is broken because it forces teenagers to make this huge fiancial, life altering decision when they barely even know who they are yet. I spent 5 years and $100,000 to get a very fancy, stressful degree only to find out years later all I want to really do is work at a comic book store.

[@govinddilip3542]

What degree is it for 300000usd?

[@LadyxBleu]

@@govinddilip3542 typo 🤷

[@dipanjanachoudhury2047]

Huh huh huh 😂😂😂
Damm
I also want to know what I really want to do
But not at the cost of 10,000 dollars
Can't believe a realisation can be so expensive

[@dmpunk]

I totally relate- I got into my dream uni LSE in the UK and I became so depressed. All my school friends moved on with their new college friends and seemed to be having the time of their lives, whereas I was struggling to get the grades I needed. I was soo lonely. I promise it gets better. After I graduated (late) and started work I made some of the best friends there that I hope to keep for life.
It can be hard comparing your life to others but everyone's time comes- it just happens on different timelines

[@firebirdies]

Why is there such a difference before and after graduation?

[@jolie7751]

That is called ✨reality ✨

[@tsumebones13]

This is so true. It's really not worth it if you have to power through it. It's how I felt when I tried to level up my nursing education. I felt nauseous every single day with extremely high blood pressure on medication. It wasn't worth it to sacrifice my health.

[@RealVoidex]

Exactly. This is why I didn’t really focus super hard on school. I focused both my enjoyment and my academic evenly. Getting into the “top tier” school isn’t all sunshine and rainbows lmao 😂

[@Raj-gr6dy]

Precisely.

[@youtubeuser258]

Facts, the decent schools are the best, not the worst or best or just average, good enough to encourage you to find some sense of fulfilment in studies but at the same time have fun and enjoy youth

[@Built2kill]

I mean i studied like hell and powered through those sleepless night and am really happy now. This isn't an issue with sacrifice ir harvard, this is a direction and vision issue.

[@chem7553]

glad to hear this!!! best of luck!!😀

[@malikapollard3618]

Exactly.
I didn't take my journalism degree. A four year course that i spent five years going into six years on. And what pissed me off most is that i wasn't stupid. I did the work. All the problems and obstacles came from teacher who just made up rules to fit their schedule.
Teachers literally lose your assignments, dont reply to mail and cuss hou out in school.
One thing most of them liked repeating is how incompetent we were. While they were worse.
The hypocrisy. I realized i don't need their piece of paper to live a good life. And left right before i would have to start my thesis.
I grew up hearing never quit.
Thank goodness i saw the light, cos i was one situation away from burning that school down.
I still hope that happens.
I was heavily depressed. And now im just angry.
Esp at this one teach. I hope her womb rots.

[@reviqqo3699]

"if it get so miserable that you have to power through it that's a big sign that's not what you want to do" is something that really struck me. gotta owe it to him for being honest

[@quiiler]

a very common problem with Asian families , we are not only pressured to get into certain colleges/degrees but also pressured to do everything very quickly and start earning asap that we dont get time to even explore options . There is also toxic motivation , which preaches that the more miserable you are right now , the more successful you are in future

[@vinceakatori]

I was going to msmc (if Yknow Yknow) for nursing- my parents only helped for the half of the first semester before making me pay for it myself (meanwhile- this is a private school that at that moment was just 5k due to the types of classes) I ended up paying 14k out of pocket (because I was refused to go into debt) I worked 2 jobs while taking nursing classes- my classmates had the pleasure of more studying time compared to me. They came from wealthy high schools and had pounds of credits (that went to their majors) compared to my messily 4 credits from 2 highschool college classes (that ofc didn’t apply to my major) I ended up failing 2 classes by less than 3 points (both C grades) and they wouldn’t push me forward. They wanted me to spend another 9k on another semester of nothing classes until the next fall semester. (Now I’m doing self teaching coding- im 100000% happier and enjoy what I’m learning now) (plus all the teachers at that college where PowerPoint readers.. that’s it)

[@priscilaspocket]

Never heard someone admit that… I’m so happy he found his way. Sending love

[@DylanBekker]

Rather than complain. Be grateful.

[@tenhagsbarber]

I’m currently a dental student in my fifth and final year and I feel this way. Just want to make enough money doing this until I have enough to explore other opportunities. I hate the stress of the degree and the stress triggers in daily practice.

[@abcdefghi9]

Hang in there bro,soon you will be done.Then you can pivot into something you love.

[@LQBify]

This happened to me when I got accepted into medical school. First and only time I went through depression. I’m happy that everything worked out in the end.

[@AnaLu07]

Did you graduate medical school?

[@tula__]

As an Asian, I realised that pretty much every top college makes you way more bitter and depressed than you actually need to be to get “successful”. Pretty sure Harvard, Cambridge, etc. are the epitome of that. Wasteful stress.

[@indusingh2013]

I know a ton more asians who are happy and enjoying fruitful studies being at ivy league colleges like harvard, columbia etc. It's the small percentage of people who get depressed while they got into a good college, mostly those who came from a privileged position in life and feel like they could have been doing something else, but most people would rather be in harvard than be poor and not in harvard. Once you get into harvard, the hardest part is over in your life, next it's just study and pass out.

[@tula__]

@@indusingh2013 seems like you never went to a “perfect” college. I mean who’ll ever tell ya that they got shortcomings? No one will. Especially those who chase names and tags, they would never tell you. Only few gutsy folks really admit. It’s like saying “the only hardest part was to pass UPSC. And the job of an IAS is like a breeze.”

[@SickMindeBarBie]

Winners quit, quit when they realize there is a better thing waiting for them. Perseverance isn’t everything

[@eubiecordero2564]

I felt the same. I got into my dream University but i felt so miserable. Turns out i really needed a break. We're only human, we can't always power through everything.

[@mindcontinuity5287]

Finally someone fucking said it.

[@kat9587]

Totally resonate ❤ wish parents and society know this

[@Horndog08]

100% true. Everyone’s situation is diff. But, perseverance is rewarded with success. Sometimes we need to push through when we don’t want to do something. But you can’t persevere in a circle. You’ve gotta be gaining progress somehow.

[@fdfd4739]

The first time I didn't hold a little contempt for Ivy League students. Just me anyways lol, but I'm in the same boat. Sure, college is great and all, and the benefits are there, but I am very much rethinking my choices...

[@xxFRANKENBANANAxx]

I got into the best law school in my country and had the same experience. Listened to my gut for the first time in my life and dropped it after a year. My friends that continued are all very rich but super stressed and burnt out all the time. I feel like I'd be dead or a substance abuser if I continued

[@justfun5479]

😂😂😂 Then y took the right decision.

[@sevvalcoskuner905]

this is what i cant explain to my parents, thank you for your clear explanation

[@meyersrm3586]

I love his honesty. Thank you for sharing. ❤

[@miladshahbaz4652]

This is so true i felt this way throughout my bachelors in water engineering. At first I was excited and so did my classmates but as time went on we started to hate it and this was like in the middle of 2nd semester so we were still pretty early on. Then the corona virus hit and we all stayed home for like 3 semesters and I couldn't see any of my friends or classmates and in the mean time my mother got diagnosed with cancer and it was very heart wrenching for me to watch her condition become worse and worse until she passed away right before my final exams of the last semester. I was already going through a hard time in my life and this made things much worse. I failed a few of my courses which made stay an extra semester to finish. Almost two years since all of this and I'm still healing. Thankfully I have a loving father and the best sister ever to help me and I help them as well.

[@hihiacc9523]

all the very best. i wish for your and your family's well being!

[@Stuzii]

Best of luck on your future endeavors. Sorry for your loss I hope you're doing well now.
You're very lucky to have a supportive family covid started on my second semester of college, so I understand how it feels. I met a lot of great people, but once online classes started, it just wasn't ever the same. Several semesters in, I went through some things, and my step dad gave up on me the first chance he had. Only recently, my mom started to show her support, but at this point, it just feels too little to late. I hate being resentful, but that's the reality of the situation, unfortunately. Being the perfect kid being well-behaved and getting good grades in the end means nothing now that I'm older

[@tapilot9256]

I was hard working and I felt my life was miserable, then i started letting go things, changed my mindset but now my life is much more miserable than it used to be. I really believe no pain no gain.

[@hotrodmercury3941]

I thought like that, then I started doing trucking and manual jobs, started seeing more of the world around me. Eventually realized it's not normal to sit at a desk and cry. Learn online, go see the world, don't limit yourself on other peoples words. They will grow to love you for who you are when you find yourself.

[@itsybitsykrafter]

This seems so relatable because throughout life I felt I needed to have anxiety to get through my classes and that added on and I suffered from PTSD, GAD and panic attacks.

[@LiaBSakura]

That’s a very intelligent realization. If you do not enjoy what you’re doing in this brief life, do not do that thing at all.

[@lemonlimesnout]

I think it depends. I was miserable throughout many years to get to where I am. He's got a point tho, being miserable in hopes to get the best out of life doesn't work out for everyone

[@c.l.9344]

Love his honesty and transparency.

[@AK-ob4lt]

I think that's what we are normal taught and told, growing up i have had a lot of it, like everyone tells us we basically have to sacrifice a lot n be hard on ourself to be successful.
Over working = Sacrifice = Success

[@swethasweswe]

This is so true, when i was n a prestigious highschool with much depressing mental force to get a better grade, i lost my grades in a pretty bad way then i was admitted to a college,where i doesn't even cared about the grades and all those crazy stuffs.. but with positive and a carefree mental state.i've got pretty good results accompanied with an Univ. Rank. So, i truly believe it all depends on our mental state and of how we take things at times ❤

[@psych7656]

This is why the "no pain, no gain" quote is not always good

[@trumpssleepparalysisdemon8569]

But 4 years are gonna pass anyway, so why not spend it on a degree compared to not having a degree 4 years later and still working that miserable 9-5?

[@doublexset7063]

@@trumpssleepparalysisdemon8569 ur still working a 9-5 miserable job bro, even with a degree

[@hazmatsuitforntr5591]

​@@trumpssleepparalysisdemon8569 uhhh plenty of those with degree still work 9-5 and some are probably worse.

[@trumpssleepparalysisdemon8569]

​@@doublexset7063 That's your fault then if the major you chose doesn't specialize in a six figure job. Plus it will look good on your resume, and you have a better job outlook from employers.

[@doublexset7063]

@@trumpssleepparalysisdemon8569 still doesn’t prove my point ur working 9-5.

[@Isa-we3ys]

That last part is so nice to hear because i’ve been contemplating my decision on dropping even tho im confident on it

[@lukeleney5917]

As somebody who doesn't sleep for achieving my dream university and being studying all the time, i can relate, Asian countries especially china and India students have to struggle so much because of overpopulation and then you're Gonna face racism too because of your religion and colour, so many problems

[@janinpalafox]

This is true. And this is also true as to why Asian parents still don't get why we leave and how we're courageous enough to not continue to that route.

[@claireh.7605]

Yes, work in Supercuts.

[@walabang437]

​@@claireh.7605🙄

[@dgg198]

Jesus loves you all, He died on the Cross then rose again to save us from sin, He is Lord, Please repent and get right with Him before its too late.

[@claireh.7605]

@@dgg198 you’re in a cult

[@gabrielspencer3621]

Nothing is life is actually that easy, your gonna have to power through a lot in life no matter what, just choose what’s worth it to power through

[@JeagerTv]

It's not all for loss. That will build character, patience and endurance. keep your eye on the prize, you sir are going places.

[@TurnedBLACK11daysAgo]

So much pressure. Always living someone’s dreams. It imprinted, forced, guilt into Asian culture! It’s ok to LIVE! I always told my student workers-break the mold. Happiness is REAL-it’s not a luxury like you family wanted you to believe. LIVE! 💙

[@Itzblu777]

He wasnt just a Good Student, He was a good ASAIN Student

[@dkg6553]

Just finished second year of college, and I can definitely relate. It just is not for me, but I owe it to my parents to go. They have done too much for me, and they desperately want me to go. So on we go... the future is long or short I suppose if you ask someone else.

[@viatori5566]

This is true but when you're young, it's pretty hard to know what you want to do. I'd say graduating from Harvard will do nothing but help whatever path you choose.
I went from joining the Corps to trying engineering in college to farming, and now I'm writing software. I'd say some things are worth pushing through when you hate them

[@incognito__00]

once you fall in love with studying, you won't feel miserable

[@princealmighty5391]

Typical Indian

[@Nico.Robin7]

How can we fall in love with studying though?

[@princealmighty5391]

@@Nico.Robin7 you expect an answer from an Indian 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@SuryaTheBeast]

@@princealmighty5391 What the fuck is that supposed to mean

[@TheEliteTyno]

Agreed. But unfortunately a lot of us have to do the things we don’t want to do, to get to the point where we can do things we’d want to do. If we ever get there. That’s the eternal struggle my friend :) The challenge, the suffering and the struggle, make this great achievements worth something. May not seem like after the fact, but the climb up the Mtn was much more satisfying than the top. That’s our human struggle in its core. Is it really that we want do things that are easy? Is that what would bring you happiness? The answer only you can find but I think sometimes it’s better to grab the shovel and dig your path, than it is to flow down the river for it.

[@kipp4805]

Yeah but the world isn’t black or white. For one, everyone wants different things for themselves. Some people may find the gratification of doing something difficult to be rewarding enough to keep them going. Others may not feel this way, and only work their butts off out of a sense of obligation and don’t prioritize their own needs or mental health.
This might be more of a post modernist perspective but, in the age of individualism, life is about balance. Finding your happy medium where your work brings you gratification but you still make time for your interpersonal connections, your family, and your own interests. We don’t have to work ourselves to death because some people will get to a point where they look back, and feel like they’ve missed out on so much of what life has to offer because they’ve been so focused on their work.

[@kalyani1379]

well said.

[@FunKayyy]

It's not worth it if doing it makes you want to off yourself every waking second of the day.

[@FunKayyy]

​@@kipp4805 you hit the nail on the head, I couldn't fucking stand my management position and I don't miss it one bit.

[@xingheyuan0253]

What he said might be a common feeling for Chinese students. I used to have a hard struggle after graduating because I don’t understand why I cannot easily and peacefully work as my colleagues do, which made me feel like a loser, It took me about 6 months to understand my heart. I realized that I was not a loser, I just didn’t fit into that job. I didn’t know what kind of job was right for me but this onewas not .It was not my fault. So I gave up that high-paid job and started trying other jobs. Now I do what I really like to do and live a happy life.
An essential lesson for me is that it is okay if you found you didn’t want to be what you had been taught to be for many years. You are just 20 and have 80 years of life waiting for you. Just give up, try different ways, and your heart will guide you.

[@spatty2589]

Best lesson learned earlier! Have fun, live, & love on the journey! Don’t wait to enjoy yourself.

[@ChetTriangle]

Man I'm sick of forcing myself to do things I don't really want to do .

[@iiitscamille2467]

I took up a major that I hated, but I eventually loved as I tackle it in real life but all at the same time just like the guy said he had and I still have that massive depression state of “is this worth it?” mentality..

[@irisnorthwind3607]

I'm in med school hoping to get enough support myself in the future (money, power to shut my family complaints and restriction), due to my fam forbidding me to enter fashion/ game design. I'm in 3rd grade and i can say it's hard to stay motivated, but since i like to help people, medicine is still the right way for me. Just need to be patient to reach my ultimate goal.

[@AnaLu07]

I'm in medical school too, I'm struggling. I hope i can be happy once i graduate and do what I really wanna do

[@_quixote]

His previous mindset about being miserable is exactly my mindset right now

[@2xcrzkxk]

Good job son, I hope your degree gives you open doors to what you really want. Honestly a Bachelors Degree from Harvard in anything is great resume. I hope he's happier & has found peace with all that hard suffering & is doing something he wants now.

[@bonitamojica5254]

🖤 it's so good to hear someone else say this.

[@zuleika_w6863]

As a fellow Asian, I totally believed that as a kid and my life was so messed up because of it. I’m graduating college at the end of the month… still trying to figure out my next steps and what I actually enjoy in life.

[@Rain-tg2ji]

Having a purpose in life is the most important thing.... Without it there is no doubt that you will be unhappy in this life... We only live once and it is a very short one so choose to be happy..... While we can.... ❤❤❤