My therapist told me about the inner child thing and when my aunt heard that, she asked me "how come they say everyone has an inner child, but I never feel my inner child running me? I don't have an inner child because I have dealt with my personal problems not like you, and I'm very mature." That was awkwardly her inner child moment, a person who constantly need someone to tell her that she's more special than others.
Good insight! I have a cousin who needs to be the best all the time. She has a sister only 18 months older and her sister (also my cousin obviously) has always easily outshone all around her with her qualifications, career path, looks, charm, good luck..., it must have been hard to grow up beside. My cousins have a good relationship, but my younger cousin, the less accomplished one (conventionally) uses me as a tool to make her feel better about herself. I am not competitive and she tries to bait me in to competing with her so she can ''win''. Even when I haven't a clue what the prize is,
@@siouxmaelstrom4042 She does. But she's already so much better than my mom, who's a complete narcissist. My grandma has 7 daughters and 1 son, and my mom was the golden child of their household. My grandma abused other kids and let them serve my mom. I got abused by my mom to serve my sister too and ran away from my home to seek protection from my aunt, because she had the same experience I had. I have bipolar and needed to rely on someone to sustain my life. She provided me a home and a normal enough life and I provide her the satisfaction of being a better mom than my mom. That's what she needed for her whole life. And she indeed is better. It's still pretty tiring to feed her emotional needs especially when I'm depressed. But that's what it takes to survive. I have a narcissist dad too and sometimes I guess that's a blessing in disguise. Im also diagnosed with BPD and my life stuck here not being able to stay stable to do anything, but I'm glad I'm stuck here and need to deal with these when I'm young. Otherwise I will just become my aunt when I get old. In fact, none of my mother's siblings has no problem. 7 out of 8 of them are divorced and the remained one is a widow. Their kids (my cousins) are either like them or hate them. This aunt got into superstition and believed that the reason why I have mental illness is because I'm possessed. She doesn't understand that I'm bipolar and I'm sometimes hyper sometimes depressed, and she couldn't stand seeing me staying in my bed for the whole day. Basically I wasn't recovering according to her agenda, and that was mocked by other aunts. Then she started to think there's only evil spirit but not mental illness. I ran away from her again. I don't know if this is my borderline trait ruining my relationship with anyone, or is just my coping mechanism. After I got diagnosed, anything I did that didn't fit their taste became a sin of my borderline self. But the more I interact with them the more I feel like I'm normal.
@@SusanaXpeace2u I can definitely relate to that. My coping mechanism is, when you know that it's their inner child speaking then just treat them like a child. There's no prize for that comparison anyway so you don't lose anything letting them win. I don't have wisdom teeth but have a lot of facial hair (comparing with other East Asians). One time we were at dentist and I told her about not having wisdom teeth. The dentist said that it's a sign of evolution, that in terms of this I'm more "evoluted" than others. And she immediately responded "but she has so much facial hair and other people don't have that much. That's a sign of less evoluted." Immediately I wanted to say "how do you think of other races then? Are they inferior?" Because she admires my cousin's husband, who's a caucasian from Germany. But eventually I didn't say anything because such dispute is pretty meaningless, and if I "win", she would continue talk about whatever disadvantage I have until she wins.
@@陳查理-c2c I’m sorry you’re dealing with that. I can’t imagine living with someone who thought I was possessed bc of my mental illness. Sending you the best vibes and I hope things get better for you.
When the therapist uses phrases like "get our shit together" that's when I'm most comfortable. Thank you for not being afraid to step away from a very rigid "clinician" kind of mind set.
I have to admit, I used to think the whole “inner child” thing was silly. Now I see the value in it because you don’t have to look to others for validation, reassurance or healing (and possibly being disappointed); you have the power to become a self healing and self sufficient person. I am looking forward to doing this work with a great sense of empowerment. Thankyou for giving everyone this opportunity! 😊
Same. I’ve forgiven my mom and therefore let go of resentment though. I wouldn’t be who I am without my traumas. Now, I just cry and grieve for little me. To try and not take out my grievances towards others aka my adult self. It’s a lifelong exhausting marathon unfortunately.
homework/tasks to help u 1. Make your baby/toddler pics your lockscreen 2. Make a list of how/when you think your inner child is running you 3. Read John Bradshaw's homecoming (chapters 1-4)
the first time my therapist did inner child work with me, i bawled. i never noticed my inner child and it made me devastated to see how afraid and insecure she was. i want to do anything to protect her, and that means the adult me needs to get better. thank you for this video:)
Same here, Terry: fed, clothed, yet neglected. It has been hard to find support when others never saw physical violence. I am so grateful for these online groups for sharing, empathy, and guidance. I am eager to follow the advice given here. I hope you find healing, comfort, peace!
Same here, but barley clothed. I had two or three tops but if I wanted something different to wear I'd have to borrow my mom's b.o. stained tops--was never allowed new clothes.
I realized that I've never really accepted or admitted to myself that I've been hurt and traumatized when I was a kid. And because of the lack of emotional support in our household, I either kept all my emotions to myself or I supressed it, and recognizing my inner child's survival strategies just saddens me. Thank you for this. I hope more people gets to see this channel ❤️
My inner child viciously hated me when I first started to contact her. Over time I have had to prove I am there for her and be consistent. It’s a process. I now have a good daily communication going on and it for real feels like an actual child is there. Also my inner teenager is there and is vibrant, courageous and can be extremely intimidating and I really have to work with her and explain a lot to calm her down, but this work has been the most healing for me hands down. I’m glad to have these videos to bring a good structure to my process as well as the ACA Fellowship. 💚🙏💚
Patrick, these videos are changing my life. I just started reading Homecoming, and it is the best money I've spent in a long time. I am on page 13 and have related to everything! I am 58 and my abusive father died 20 years ago, but the emotional scars have never left me. God bless you. I am ready to put in the work to be able to heal. I am sick of my PTSD interfering with my life! I am so sorry that you suffered as well. You are a choice human being.
I am so grateful for your videos. I grew up in a dysfunctional household and I struggle with emotional safety, which makes me hyper vigilant of other people and their "agendas" and I have made adult relationships difficult to navigate for me. I went to therapy and I was only given superficial fixes, which was only surface level help. I had started to get hopeless and resentful but thanks to you, You are really out there changing lives.
The idea of setting a picture of me as a kid as my phone background made me burst into tears - seems like there is a lot of needed attention that I haven't given myself. I'm already invested in what you have in store for the next episodes. Thank you and greetings from Germany!
Me too...I had a physical reaction to that. Whenever I see pictures of me from childhood, I *feel* sadness. I could never figure out why until the last few months of therapy.
Tomorrow I'm going to binge therapy watch...can't wait...this channel provides the most useful "self therapy " that resonates with me. Thank you for providing every one with an opportunity to heal by removing the barrier of cost.
Yes, 100x yes! This is how I've overcome most of my childhood trauma, by talking to myself as a child and telling her the truth, that she's not the things her step mother told her she was. That the voice in my head is the liar, the anti mother.
Perfect! Love the homework assignment. Started doing imner child work the last couple of months and kinda flying blind, glad to have some direction. I describe my inner child as the one who hides behind things and emotionally can't handle shit.😊 I keep telling her she is safe and I got this. I love the analogy of adoption because that's how it feels.Thanks so much for helping those who want and need it! ✨🧘🏼♀️✨
So happy to see this information provided for free. The kids that often need this information the most are often the ones whose parents would rather gnaw off their own arm than allow their own child to recover, much less to see a therapist who can help them. Personality disordered parents WANT their children to grow up as dysfunctional as they are so that they can keep the pathology going. It's really sick how these parents really think. They last thing they want is someone to get out of the pit they've dug for their children.
Hi le th!! I can see that we are following some of the same channels ;) I do have to disagree with u to a certain extend. As already Dr Fox said in many of his videos it's maladaptive behaviours which drive our lives and therefore the ones around us are affected by it. It may be that u are thinking about NPD ppl in u'r comment - but even those as sad as it is are deeply emotionally stunted in toddler age. I NEVER EVER wanted my kids to end up having any kind of dysfunction which would impair their lives, and I repeat NEVER. Growing up with mum who had her own issues which were back then only brushed away as nervous breakdowns was challenging. I would say that my childhood time was spent a lot dissociating in order to cope with what was going on around me and then later on taking on the fourth trauma response - to fawn. Till I was 18 and then I was gone! I moved halve way round the world but didn't realise that my inner child came as well and in my luggage amongst the belongings were as well my unresolved issues from growing up. Long story cut short. Married, three kids. The ledest is very aware about mental health issues and does his own reading. The second one still at home has got some issues but the one hardest affected was my girl. I was an emotional unavailable mum, with my own constant level of mild depression and OCD but cos of the way I was taught - "U got responsibility, u can't be weak, u got to stand up" - I never realised my own state of being. The final blow for her was when her gran passed away, she was a stable person my girl would always turn to since little. After her death she developed severe anxiety, started self harming, withdrawal from everyone, psychotic breaks (hallucinations). Treatment was very limited available, as from what I saw the therapists didn't have much experience with PD's. She commited suicide on the 11. February 2022. It's 301 days to the day. Please don't put every parent with a disorder into the same pot of them wanting their kids to be that way! I'm 48 and it's only recently that I've come to realise that even my mum (despite having traits of overt narcissism) never purposely wanted bad for me. Her getting older (77) she is becoming more vulnerable and enquiring about me and my mental state from time to time! Thanks for reading and hope my English is understandable. Native German speaking here :)
After seeing this video I purchased the homecoming book and I’m blown away by how it breaks down what I’ve been feeling for years. I’ve read so many self help books, but this was the one I’ve needed. Thank you for continuing to help so many people. You do more than what all of professionals would call “help” after a $200 session. Much love ❤
Yeh, I get too ''heated'' in conflict with my parents. I say conflict, I mean, trying to be heard by them. They hurt me a lot but they will NOT acknowledge that and they tell me they have endured enough shouting from me. They make me so crazy with rage. Nobody else makes me feel like this. What do I say to my inner child? Like ''I would like to hear you''. With everybody else, I avoid conflict totally, but with my parents, I"m still trying to be heard. That's my inner child. Also, feel like a good person, good humoured, sane, solvent, decent, but single FOREVER. That's something to do with my parents.
The hardest part of all this, is to stop trying to make our parents listen. They never did, probably don't know how or don't care and we can scream our selves to death before they listen. I'm/Minime is hurt every time I try to connect with my parent because he simply doesn't listen. My sister told me to stop expecting him to change, just because I do (she has seen the light about abuse).. And she is right.. He isn't doing anything New, I'm just trying different stuff to no avail, hurting myself all over again. Sorry for the rant - short answer--just tell yourself that they are horrible for not listening, it sucks, but you Will listen to Minime (or what ever you call your younger selv) 😊
I understand how frustrated you feel. Over many years of healing work I've come to the pla e of realising that there is tremendous healing power in radically accepting these feelings of rage despair and rejection...realising that these are valid logical and powerful emotions. .and the healing comes from receiving and valuing MY OWN validation and acceptance of my Self
Okay! I’m STOPPING at where you say that CREATIVITY Is at the Inner Child part. FROM EXPERIENCING Adult TRAUMA, my CREATIVITY has virtually collapsed to NOTHING! I used to be a quite exceptional artist, but since extracting myself from the Abuser and going to therapy, I have UTTERLY NO INSPIRATION OR ABILITY TO EVEN START AN ART PROJECT! Could you, or anyone PLEASE shed some light on this for me? Thanks 🙏❤️ Edited …. Actually an addendum! Now after WATCHING this entire video, I’m blown away and KNOW that I’m HERE, IN THE RIGHT PLACE, FOR WHAT I NEED!!! I have been THINKING about a specific photograph of myself and older sister, for about 6-9 months. I cannot stop FEELING & REMEMBERING about how bloody confused I appear in this photo! It also tells me how I believe that ANIMALS, specifically 2 species have always been my rescue back to life! I cannot wait to do the assignments and read the material you’ve suggested! Thank you SO VERY VERY MUCH! I’ll be back!! 💕🙏❤️
I went to my mom's a couple of years ago specifically to bring home pictures of myself for this purpose. I need to put them in frames - thanks for the reminder!
We.never had any pictures on the wall, during covid, I found a few of me young and some deseased loved ones. I see them every day and it's true I have built compassion and love for myself and understand my childhood from a new perspective. I am that girl trapped as an adult with so many growth memories that lead me here.
Thank you so much, Patrick. At almost 60, I wanted to let you know that I still occasionally lack coping skills. So, I am following this episode very carefully. I ordered Homecoming, pulled out some pictures, and worked on that list. Sadly, I have to wait up to 6 weeks before the book arrives to Germany. Just image, 20 years of therapy and this was mentioned!
Thank you. I've often wanted just to sit with a therapist and recount the violence I witnessed and the unintentional emotional abuse I experienced. What stops me is not wanting to place that burden on anyone else. I'm pleased with the chance to do some work here. My inner child and her attitudes toward men can be very annoying and counter productive.
Therapist wouldn't feel that as a burden. It is just normal for their job. You might have felt lke a burden to your parents so now you feel this way...
I realize it's been a while but I do hope you have or will work with a professional if it's available to you. A therapist will not feel any more burdened than a mechanic would when you bring in your car with a problem. To keep using the car example: it's not your fault that your suspension got damaged due to poor road conditions, but you CAN prevent further damage by bringing it in and fixing it sooner rather than later.
Wow. Great video. I love how you give homework and put great visuals to explain. I am extremely grateful for you and the work you are doing to help. Thank you!
I’m not sure if you are on the spectrum but it’s so helpful to hear computer analogies and lots of visual pictures so I appreciate you doing that. I have Aspergers and your videos are very effective.
Thanks for doing this series. I just found these on You Tube and I'm soaking it up. Does this inner child concept trigger anyone else? If so and you've gotten past it, how did you do it? When my former therapist would bring this up, it always felt a little like she was handing me a child and saying, "Here, parent her." My internal response is always, "Wait a minute. I don't know how to parent anything. I'm a wreck. I still need parenting myself. Now I'm supposed to care for this child?" Anyone else?
I don't have access to photos of myself from childhood, but I think if I did I'd find it so so so hard to even look at them. That tells me I have some work to do there. I can't bear looking into the eyes of that girl and knowing what she's going through and how far she still has to go before she finds safety.
I've often felt like other people are asking me to be an adult and that I don't know how, and I don't understand how other people know how. Yet, I HAVE been adulting for 24 years. I've bought houses, Ive obtained jobs, I've planned and executed international travel, I've started and run a business, I've obtained rentals, learned a tonne of skills from carpet cleaning to timber frame joinery, AND raised a child! I often feel I'm stuck at 16 though, in the way I think, talk, and deal with problems, and I struggle to earn people's respect. Some development stage is missing. I think all of the above apply in what you say about how my inner child runs me. I think I'm starting to develop though now that my father had died. Just waiting for the last bit of the estate to be distributed, then it will be closed, and the strings cut. I still feel vulnerable. What will he do next? I bought The Emotional Incest SYndrome and Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, Homecoming is on my list too. I got stuck in the first of them because it asks you to write your life story. That's supposed to be a 3 hr assignment, but no way, not for me! It's a good project, pretty emotional. Good to look back though, with adult perspective, on things I've kept buried all my life. When Dad died, I did a video on how he affected my life. Unfortunately it's banned on UA-cam because I used a Don Henley song in it. : ( I'm not changing the music though, the songs are important. It's for me anyway.
This was a fantastic wake up call for me, that I'm letting the inner child take control. Every single behaviour you listed is something I'm prone to doing. I feel like I can use this information as a tool to function better in my day to day life, literally starting today. Thanks for sharing the knowledge
Anytime I had a role in a play or having a chance to sing at church anything she either didn’t let me go or never wanted to attend. And she told me she wasn’t going!!! But I mustered enough strength to go and sing. I remember my aunt saying when they gave me the verse she can’t do that! The choir director looked at her and said “yes this baby is” and I lead that song! But I see where this came from. No one wanted me to shine so I learned to dim my own light. But I’m slowly learning how to heal from all of this. It hurts a lot sometimes I cry for hours thinking about it, but I know I need a way to release pain. You are loved and I admire your strength love!!!! Stay blessed.
I love that you’re interactive with your followers. I am in the process of learning about my inner child. It’s so uncomfortable. Is that common? Feeling so uncomfortable with this, and these videos?
You are the likely the best authority to speak to your own experience, however I think it's really common to feel uncomfortable when we are challenged about patterns / habits that helped us survive these types of things as we were growing up but are no longer relevant or helpful because our nervous systems / automatic processing patterns haven't yet been updated. So, this kind of information could feel, on the neurological level, like your very survival is being threatened. You likely know that this isn't actually literally true but those old deep neural patterns take time and support to re-form. Hope you can be gentle with yourself across your healing process and that you are able to get the supports you need for your healing. Know that you are in good company! Many of us find this very uncomfortable, especially in the beginning of growing our awareness.
Thank you! When you said "You are important" I just broke because I was not important in my family so I have lived like I am not important or worth anyone's real time. WOW!
Thank you - great timing! Started doing the work a couple of days ago, and man did it make a difference in my stress levels! Then yesterday kinda didn't go as planned and mini me took over😑🤷♀️ I'll just have to talk to my self some more😊
The first task alone just made my heart race. That sounds like an absolutely terrible idea. I don't want to see her or think about her. But I think that's probably also the exact reason I should do it. I paused the video, but now I'm even more anxious about what this second task will be. 😱
I couldn’t imagine my Saturday night having been any better, thanks to your videos which prompted me to pull out my “therapy notebook” and dive head first. Big emotional activation right away was a sign that I was online and ready to spend some quality time with myself, present and rooted in my feelings. Blessed to have healers like yourself providing tools like this so readily available. 🙏🏼💙
I'm still on chapter one of this book. I've been taking breaks at every paragraph that relates to me and it has opened my eyes alot. I was so confused at alot of things and I knew something was wrong but could not put my finger on it. Now I am slowly understanding the reason why I lived in so much shame with no identity whatsoever, and why I was deeply afraid of expressing my own desires. Edit: I reached chapter 4. It's painful but I'm learning alot and doing the exercises with trusted friend.
I paused the video and downloaded Bradshaw’s book. Couldn’t get through the prologue without crying. I hope you realize how much you are helping. Love to you.
Doctor, it took me a year of therapy and several successful talks with the inner child and holding parents accountable to being able to practice extra therapy based on your videos. Before this year of therapy I consumed all your videos as a practical information. Now this is a new level of diving deep into my psyche.
Patrick, I’m so happy I found you. At almost 55 years old, I’ve been busy trying to deny the impact of my traumatic childhood for decades. I’ve not allowed myself to grieve or recognized the impact the trauma has had on my life. What a gift your body of work is to me!! Thank you.
I remember when Bradshaw was on public television. That was a long time ago. I met my inner child for the first time back then. It was frightening to see her back then… she was emaciated,sheet white, sick and dying on a little bed in the dark with only a bare light bulb overhead..she didn’t speak or acknowledge my presence nor did she even move 😢. I thought she was dead at first but I kept visiting her anyway… it was horribly painful to see her but I didn’t give up… With time, therapy, love, patience, perseverance, understanding and 12-step program little Jill eventually got out of her death bed and gradually came alive… and it turns out she is actually a very lively outgoing tomboy wearing redhead pigtails, sneakers, sporting a sprinkling of freckles across her little nose, loves to run around/ have fun , wearing overalls and her nickname is PETE! I adore her and am developing a good relationship with her 💙… which has been tough for her because she doesn’t trust me because I have not protected her in the past. She requires a lot of reassurance and proof that I am becoming trustworthy. Just bought HOMECOMING and looking forward to even more recovery 😊🌸❤️😇
Such a struggle to even find my inner child. I was abused by a narcissistic mother and emotionally absent father, as where my siblings (3 older brothers). Also sexual abuse by a brother. I’m 71 now and being on a uk pension I cannot afford a therapist, never could. I try to ignore the pain as much as possible. I’ve seen quite a few of your videos now. ❤️ from England
I was adopted at 6 months. The one and only time I stopped trying to please my adopted mother I was SHOT DOWN and told; « I can always return you, you know. » I have been unable to defend myself without overreacting or crying ever since. (Except for during COVID when I was meditating daily) I am 69. Buying that book to read TODAY!!! Thank you!
Man, you were the cutest kid! I actually cried when I saw the photo. It makes me sad that little children get hurt the way they do…even when the parents are trying their best. Thanks so much for all you do and explain!
I started watching a lot of these videos lately and even though it's been really hard, my inner child told me today that she was thankful to me for finally making a space where she could be safe to be noticed. Even though she often causes disruptions and feels uncontrollable when I notice her, I'm glad she can finally start saying how she feels so I can figure out what to do next
Thank you so much for making this series. In conjunction with talk therapy, EMDR, and ACOA meetings I have made many attempts at doing inner child work but it is so difficult for me to connect to her because of the pain barrier of intense grief. I have also not been encouraged to do such workable steps to help connect, so I thank you for these first few activities. I know exactly which picture I will select and am looking forward to diving into 'Home Coming'. Hopefully I can break through my resistance! You are a gem!
That’s what I’ve been doing lately, parenting my inner kid. That’s probably why the algorithm started showing me these videos. It’s very smart to listen to me tell people how I’m buying my inner child a root beer or when I’m at work talking about why I dyed my hair. It’s for my inner kid. This fucking androgynous child that in a way helped me connect with my own androgyny in such a way that I’m surprised to say I didn’t anticipate. Some times you really do need a child’s blessing. And it’s great knowing that at least I’m not the only one with an inner child.
Totally get this. I recognised this problem instinctively myself after suffering a parental bereavement. At the point of bereavement the inner child hidden rage immediately calmed. Up to that point the rage was a constant perpetuating thing because I was having to continually deal with trauma every day. But with the rage came a lot of hurt and that hurt still remained. So my inner child and I started to converse and I started to parent her. She knows she's protected and loved now and that it was OK to feel that hurt but together we'll move forward and she can have everything she didn't get but deserves. That being unconditional love but above all, validity. A child must have validity. Now she has it and we both feel much better. I'll cherish her and she will want for nothing now.
Omg!! I thought it was stupid to feel this way! I feel the same, and I think it is because the inner child has been 'damaged' and so had to 'grow up', which became the adult. I don't know if that makes sense, but it is the best explaination I can come up with atm I hope you're well ^^
Omg me too! It's like I always have these two people interacting inside my head! One is always more panicky and scared and angry and the other one is always more soothing and rational and colected so to speak
This is what I have been searching for for a while. I've been on the journey of self discovery in earnest for a few years now and you have helped me get off the plateau I have been on for months. Definitely a lot of climbing to do still and I appreciate your work more than I can describe here.
Thank You Patrick for sharing these. My therapist recommended Homecoming too. I’m on a solo holiday to relax by the beach and focus on me & your channel is a comfort & informative source to listen to. 🙏🙂 I’m able to forget my marc mum at home & not be triggered
Your videos have had me taking the most fervent notes I’ve taken in my life. No school lesson has compared! Thank you so much! I’ve had such a hard time relating to my inner child and communicating, I think because I didn’t understand what it was.
You are a God-send. Those of us who know, know. These silent pains and horrors that dictate our lives. Until....key souls like you bring light and show the path...xx
I have a picture of my younger self on a make up mirror. It first it was a dissociation, now I am used to doing make up every day with this child. Caring about this child makes me care about myself
Man that picture thing! this is the first thing they are teaching us in undergrad counselling school in London. Thank you for sharing the basics as per the book! I have been lost in therapy land for 21 years and just now I am finding THE professional way to heal. I am back to school though not young anymore.
Thank you Dr. Teahan for your channel. I found one of your videos a few months ago when I was struggling with extream negative emotions and I think flash backs to my personal trauma. not gunna lie I almost lost my fight and was getting ready to take a perminate nap but I was so interested and engaged by your videos I just kind of started to binge watching your channel and next thing I knew it was time to get my daughter to school. I have no doubt that If i didn't see your channel my daughter would not have her mother and my husband would not have his wife today. so again thank you for all the hard work you do and I can't begin to explain how Proud I am to see how successful and happy you are.
When you started describing the symptoms of being run by your inner child and I was shocked at how much it fit me. This video has given me so much insight and I think this time I'm gonna stop being hard-headed and listen to advice.
Inner child - treat this as you imagining your adopting a child and be a parent to the child. Reinvent a connection to yourself. Things for me to reflect on: is my inner child too emotional or shows very little emotion, find a pic that speaks to me. Good video thank you 😊
You're a god send. I honestly thought I was the only person who felt like this, and so shameful. Then you said exactly what I was feeling. I'm older and single. New neighbor kids moved in across the street and the 9 year old twins visit me a few times a day. Somehow it's helping heal my inner child and become the adult. I'm starting to live in the moment like a child and move on. Does that sound strange?
This explains my first 3 sessions so much...I was confused why I was so upset and quit therapy. I may need to call my therapist back, I canceled it, but she was doing a great job.
when you made the foster care analogy i bust out crying loool I work with foster kids, and i was watching this bc i was upset/triggered by a situation that one of my kids is going through, which is something that i also went through SOOOOOO i aint gotta imagine that
My therapist told me about the inner child thing and when my aunt heard that, she asked me "how come they say everyone has an inner child, but I never feel my inner child running me? I don't have an inner child because I have dealt with my personal problems not like you, and I'm very mature." That was awkwardly her inner child moment, a person who constantly need someone to tell her that she's more special than others.
Good insight! I have a cousin who needs to be the best all the time. She has a sister only 18 months older and her sister (also my cousin obviously) has always easily outshone all around her with her qualifications, career path, looks, charm, good luck..., it must have been hard to grow up beside. My cousins have a good relationship, but my younger cousin, the less accomplished one (conventionally) uses me as a tool to make her feel better about herself. I am not competitive and she tries to bait me in to competing with her so she can ''win''. Even when I haven't a clue what the prize is,
These sound like narcissists.
@@siouxmaelstrom4042 She does. But she's already so much better than my mom, who's a complete narcissist. My grandma has 7 daughters and 1 son, and my mom was the golden child of their household. My grandma abused other kids and let them serve my mom. I got abused by my mom to serve my sister too and ran away from my home to seek protection from my aunt, because she had the same experience I had. I have bipolar and needed to rely on someone to sustain my life. She provided me a home and a normal enough life and I provide her the satisfaction of being a better mom than my mom. That's what she needed for her whole life. And she indeed is better. It's still pretty tiring to feed her emotional needs especially when I'm depressed. But that's what it takes to survive.
I have a narcissist dad too and sometimes I guess that's a blessing in disguise. Im also diagnosed with BPD and my life stuck here not being able to stay stable to do anything, but I'm glad I'm stuck here and need to deal with these when I'm young. Otherwise I will just become my aunt when I get old. In fact, none of my mother's siblings has no problem. 7 out of 8 of them are divorced and the remained one is a widow. Their kids (my cousins) are either like them or hate them.
This aunt got into superstition and believed that the reason why I have mental illness is because I'm possessed. She doesn't understand that I'm bipolar and I'm sometimes hyper sometimes depressed, and she couldn't stand seeing me staying in my bed for the whole day. Basically I wasn't recovering according to her agenda, and that was mocked by other aunts. Then she started to think there's only evil spirit but not mental illness. I ran away from her again. I don't know if this is my borderline trait ruining my relationship with anyone, or is just my coping mechanism. After I got diagnosed, anything I did that didn't fit their taste became a sin of my borderline self. But the more I interact with them the more I feel like I'm normal.
@@SusanaXpeace2u I can definitely relate to that. My coping mechanism is, when you know that it's their inner child speaking then just treat them like a child. There's no prize for that comparison anyway so you don't lose anything letting them win. I don't have wisdom teeth but have a lot of facial hair (comparing with other East Asians). One time we were at dentist and I told her about not having wisdom teeth. The dentist said that it's a sign of evolution, that in terms of this I'm more "evoluted" than others. And she immediately responded "but she has so much facial hair and other people don't have that much. That's a sign of less evoluted." Immediately I wanted to say "how do you think of other races then? Are they inferior?" Because she admires my cousin's husband, who's a caucasian from Germany. But eventually I didn't say anything because such dispute is pretty meaningless, and if I "win", she would continue talk about whatever disadvantage I have until she wins.
@@陳查理-c2c I’m sorry you’re dealing with that. I can’t imagine living with someone who thought I was possessed bc of my mental illness. Sending you the best vibes and I hope things get better for you.
Imagine you fostered a kid, and they had had your childhood.
Wow.
That’s a great way to put that.
When the therapist uses phrases like "get our shit together" that's when I'm most comfortable. Thank you for not being afraid to step away from a very rigid "clinician" kind of mind set.
Please don’t stop making these you could make a real impact
I have to admit, I used to think the whole “inner child” thing was silly. Now I see the value in it because you don’t have to look to others for validation, reassurance or healing (and possibly being disappointed); you have the power to become a self healing and self sufficient person. I am looking forward to doing this work with a great sense of empowerment. Thankyou for giving everyone this opportunity! 😊
I always thought it was silly too until I understood what it actually was!
Me too, thankfully I got over that but I delayed some of my most important recovery by almost 30 years.
Same, yes I can see it being very healing and stablizing. ❤
I'm still thinking it's silly. Like an imaginary friend.
@@ravneiv 😆
Why did this video make me cry? I feel so sad for that little girl that was me.
Same. I’ve forgiven my mom and therefore let go of resentment though. I wouldn’t be who I am without my traumas.
Now, I just cry and grieve for little me. To try and not take out my grievances towards others aka my adult self. It’s a lifelong exhausting marathon unfortunately.
homework/tasks to help u
1. Make your baby/toddler pics your lockscreen
2. Make a list of how/when you think your inner child is running you
3. Read John Bradshaw's homecoming (chapters 1-4)
the first time my therapist did inner child work with me, i bawled. i never noticed my inner child and it made me devastated to see how afraid and insecure she was. i want to do anything to protect her, and that means the adult me needs to get better. thank you for this video:)
Freaking yay!!! I NEED this! My mom is a narcissist and my dad too. Very dysfunctional! I was feed and clothed but psychologically abused!
I know exactly this is also in my family, my former MIL was an excellent stay at home mom, “ILLUSION” and her adult kids have problems now!🥶
this is all too prevalent. me too.
Same here, Terry: fed, clothed, yet neglected. It has been hard to find support when others never saw physical violence. I am so grateful for these online groups for sharing, empathy, and guidance. I am eager to follow the advice given here. I hope you find healing, comfort, peace!
Same here, but barley clothed. I had two or three tops but if I wanted something different to wear I'd have to borrow my mom's b.o. stained tops--was never allowed new clothes.
My parents were MIA.😕
I realized that I've never really accepted or admitted to myself that I've been hurt and traumatized when I was a kid. And because of the lack of emotional support in our household, I either kept all my emotions to myself or I supressed it, and recognizing my inner child's survival strategies just saddens me.
Thank you for this. I hope more people gets to see this channel ❤️
8:56 to 8:59 "this is important because you were important." I hate how much I needed to hear this but thank you for saying that
💜
My inner child viciously hated me when I first started to contact her. Over time I have had to prove I am there for her and be consistent. It’s a process. I now have a good daily communication going on and it for real feels like an actual child is there. Also my inner teenager is there and is vibrant, courageous and can be extremely intimidating and I really have to work with her and explain a lot to calm her down, but this work has been the most healing for me hands down. I’m glad to have these videos to bring a good structure to my process as well as the ACA Fellowship. 💚🙏💚
Mine too. Very angry
Patrick, these videos are changing my life. I just started reading Homecoming, and it is the best money I've spent in a long time. I am on page 13 and have related to everything! I am 58 and my abusive father died 20 years ago, but the emotional scars have never left me. God bless you. I am ready to put in the work to be able to heal. I am sick of my PTSD interfering with my life! I am so sorry that you suffered as well. You are a choice human being.
I am so grateful for your videos. I grew up in a dysfunctional household and I struggle with emotional safety, which makes me hyper vigilant of other people and their "agendas" and I have made adult relationships difficult to navigate for me. I went to therapy and I was only given superficial fixes, which was only surface level help. I had started to get hopeless and resentful but thanks to you, You are really out there changing lives.
The idea of setting a picture of me as a kid as my phone background made me burst into tears - seems like there is a lot of needed attention that I haven't given myself.
I'm already invested in what you have in store for the next episodes.
Thank you and greetings from Germany!
Same. She was just so helpless.
Me too...I had a physical reaction to that. Whenever I see pictures of me from childhood, I *feel* sadness. I could never figure out why until the last few months of therapy.
Same to me
Gosh, me too 🐣
Me too. I was like she didn't deserve to be treated the she was treated.
Tomorrow I'm going to binge therapy watch...can't wait...this channel provides the most useful "self therapy " that resonates with me. Thank you for providing every one with an opportunity to heal by removing the barrier of cost.
Yes, 100x yes! This is how I've overcome most of my childhood trauma, by talking to myself as a child and telling her the truth, that she's not the things her step mother told her she was. That the voice in my head is the liar, the anti mother.
Thanks for the tip! 💜💚❤️
Perfect! Love the homework assignment. Started doing imner child work the last couple of months and kinda flying blind, glad to have some direction. I describe my inner child as the one who hides behind things and emotionally can't handle shit.😊 I keep telling her she is safe and I got this. I love the analogy of adoption because that's how it feels.Thanks so much for helping those who want and need it! ✨🧘🏼♀️✨
So happy to see this information provided for free. The kids that often need this information the most are often the ones whose parents would rather gnaw off their own arm than allow their own child to recover, much less to see a therapist who can help them.
Personality disordered parents WANT their children to grow up as dysfunctional as they are so that they can keep the pathology going. It's really sick how these parents really think. They last thing they want is someone to get out of the pit they've dug for their children.
Hi le th!! I can see that we are following some of the same channels ;)
I do have to disagree with u to a certain extend.
As already Dr Fox said in many of his videos it's maladaptive behaviours which drive our lives and therefore the ones around us are affected by it.
It may be that u are thinking about NPD ppl in u'r comment - but even those as sad as it is are deeply emotionally stunted in toddler age.
I NEVER EVER wanted my kids to end up having any kind of dysfunction which would impair their lives, and I repeat NEVER.
Growing up with mum who had her own issues which were back then only brushed away as nervous breakdowns was challenging.
I would say that my childhood time was spent a lot dissociating in order to cope with what was going on around me and then later on taking on the fourth trauma response - to fawn. Till I was 18 and then I was gone!
I moved halve way round the world but didn't realise that my inner child came as well and in my luggage amongst the belongings were as well my unresolved issues from growing up.
Long story cut short.
Married, three kids. The ledest is very aware about mental health issues and does his own reading.
The second one still at home has got some issues but the one hardest affected was my girl.
I was an emotional unavailable mum, with my own constant level of mild depression and OCD but cos of the way I was taught - "U got responsibility, u can't be weak, u got to stand up" - I never realised my own state of being.
The final blow for her was when her gran passed away, she was a stable person my girl would always turn to since little.
After her death she developed severe anxiety, started self harming, withdrawal from everyone, psychotic breaks (hallucinations).
Treatment was very limited available, as from what I saw the therapists didn't have much experience with PD's.
She commited suicide on the 11. February 2022.
It's 301 days to the day.
Please don't put every parent with a disorder into the same pot of them wanting their kids to be that way!
I'm 48 and it's only recently that I've come to realise that even my mum (despite having traits of overt narcissism) never purposely wanted bad for me.
Her getting older (77) she is becoming more vulnerable and enquiring about me and my mental state from time to time!
Thanks for reading and hope my English is understandable. Native German speaking here :)
100%!! Accurate
After seeing this video I purchased the homecoming book and I’m blown away by how it breaks down what I’ve been feeling for years. I’ve read so many self help books, but this was the one I’ve needed. Thank you for continuing to help so many people. You do more than what all of professionals would call “help” after a $200 session. Much love ❤
Yeh, I get too ''heated'' in conflict with my parents. I say conflict, I mean, trying to be heard by them. They hurt me a lot but they will NOT acknowledge that and they tell me they have endured enough shouting from me. They make me so crazy with rage. Nobody else makes me feel like this. What do I say to my inner child? Like ''I would like to hear you''.
With everybody else, I avoid conflict totally, but with my parents, I"m still trying to be heard. That's my inner child. Also, feel like a good person, good humoured, sane, solvent, decent, but single FOREVER. That's something to do with my parents.
The hardest part of all this, is to stop trying to make our parents listen.
They never did, probably don't know how or don't care and we can scream our selves to death before they listen.
I'm/Minime is hurt every time I try to connect with my parent because he simply doesn't listen. My sister told me to stop expecting him to change, just because I do (she has seen the light about abuse).. And she is right.. He isn't doing anything New, I'm just trying different stuff to no avail, hurting myself all over again.
Sorry for the rant - short answer--just tell yourself that they are horrible for not listening, it sucks, but you Will listen to Minime (or what ever you call your younger selv) 😊
I understand how frustrated you feel. Over many years of healing work I've come to the pla e of realising that there is tremendous healing power in radically accepting these feelings of rage despair and rejection...realising that these are valid logical and powerful emotions.
.and the healing comes from receiving and valuing MY OWN validation and acceptance of my Self
Okay! I’m STOPPING at where you say that CREATIVITY Is at the Inner Child part. FROM EXPERIENCING Adult TRAUMA, my CREATIVITY has virtually collapsed to NOTHING! I used to be a quite exceptional artist, but since extracting myself from the Abuser and going to therapy, I have UTTERLY NO INSPIRATION OR ABILITY TO EVEN START AN ART PROJECT!
Could you, or anyone PLEASE shed some light on this for me?
Thanks 🙏❤️
Edited …. Actually an addendum! Now after WATCHING this entire video, I’m blown away and KNOW that I’m HERE, IN THE RIGHT PLACE, FOR WHAT I NEED!!! I have been THINKING about a specific photograph of myself and older sister, for about 6-9 months. I cannot stop FEELING & REMEMBERING about how bloody confused I appear in this photo! It also tells me how I believe that ANIMALS, specifically 2 species have always been my rescue back to life! I cannot wait to do the assignments and read the material you’ve suggested!
Thank you SO VERY VERY MUCH!
I’ll be back!! 💕🙏❤️
I went to my mom's a couple of years ago specifically to bring home pictures of myself for this purpose. I need to put them in frames - thanks for the reminder!
We.never had any pictures on the wall, during covid, I found a few of me young and some deseased loved ones. I see them every day and it's true I have built compassion and love for myself and understand my childhood from a new perspective. I am that girl trapped as an adult with so many growth memories that lead me here.
Love the computer analagy.😁
I did also! Unless you've been working on a the more efficient version and are forced to revert back...you can't understand how hopeless that feels
Thank you so much, Patrick. At almost 60, I wanted to let you know that I still occasionally lack coping skills. So, I am following this episode very carefully. I ordered Homecoming, pulled out some pictures, and worked on that list. Sadly, I have to wait up to 6 weeks before the book arrives to Germany. Just image, 20 years of therapy and this was mentioned!
Good luck!
I'm going to do my homework tomorrow... Everybody you do it too because you owe it to yourselves as an act of compassion and love.
Thank you. I've often wanted just to sit with a therapist and recount the violence I witnessed and the unintentional emotional abuse I experienced. What stops me is not wanting to place that burden on anyone else. I'm pleased with the chance to do some work here. My inner child and her attitudes toward men can be very annoying and counter productive.
Therapist wouldn't feel that as a burden. It is just normal for their job. You might have felt lke a burden to your parents so now you feel this way...
Dear pursuit, find a counselor who does EMDR therapy. It will possibly change your life!!
I realize it's been a while but I do hope you have or will work with a professional if it's available to you. A therapist will not feel any more burdened than a mechanic would when you bring in your car with a problem.
To keep using the car example: it's not your fault that your suspension got damaged due to poor road conditions, but you CAN prevent further damage by bringing it in and fixing it sooner rather than later.
I need this. Never prepared, pick wrong people, chaotic mornings, all if it!! Shew!!
I'm grateful for you ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ the world needs you
I also like to think of this as if I'm going back in time to my childhood and parenting my younger self.
Wow. Great video. I love how you give homework and put great visuals to explain. I am extremely grateful for you and the work you are doing to help. Thank you!
I’m not sure if you are on the spectrum but it’s so helpful to hear computer analogies and lots of visual pictures so I appreciate you doing that. I have Aspergers and your videos are very effective.
Thanks for doing this series. I just found these on You Tube and I'm soaking it up. Does this inner child concept trigger anyone else? If so and you've gotten past it, how did you do it? When my former therapist would bring this up, it always felt a little like she was handing me a child and saying, "Here, parent her." My internal response is always, "Wait a minute. I don't know how to parent anything. I'm a wreck. I still need parenting myself. Now I'm supposed to care for this child?" Anyone else?
I don't have access to photos of myself from childhood, but I think if I did I'd find it so so so hard to even look at them. That tells me I have some work to do there. I can't bear looking into the eyes of that girl and knowing what she's going through and how far she still has to go before she finds safety.
I've often felt like other people are asking me to be an adult and that I don't know how, and I don't understand how other people know how. Yet, I HAVE been adulting for 24 years. I've bought houses, Ive obtained jobs, I've planned and executed international travel, I've started and run a business, I've obtained rentals, learned a tonne of skills from carpet cleaning to timber frame joinery, AND raised a child! I often feel I'm stuck at 16 though, in the way I think, talk, and deal with problems, and I struggle to earn people's respect. Some development stage is missing. I think all of the above apply in what you say about how my inner child runs me. I think I'm starting to develop though now that my father had died. Just waiting for the last bit of the estate to be distributed, then it will be closed, and the strings cut. I still feel vulnerable. What will he do next? I bought The Emotional Incest SYndrome and Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, Homecoming is on my list too. I got stuck in the first of them because it asks you to write your life story. That's supposed to be a 3 hr assignment, but no way, not for me! It's a good project, pretty emotional. Good to look back though, with adult perspective, on things I've kept buried all my life. When Dad died, I did a video on how he affected my life. Unfortunately it's banned on UA-cam because I used a Don Henley song in it. : ( I'm not changing the music though, the songs are important. It's for me anyway.
This was a fantastic wake up call for me, that I'm letting the inner child take control. Every single behaviour you listed is something I'm prone to doing. I feel like I can use this information as a tool to function better in my day to day life, literally starting today. Thanks for sharing the knowledge
Anytime I had a role in a play or having a chance to sing at church anything she either didn’t let me go or never wanted to attend. And she told me she wasn’t going!!! But I mustered enough strength to go and sing. I remember my aunt saying when they gave me the verse she can’t do that! The choir director looked at her and said “yes this baby is” and I lead that song! But I see where this came from. No one wanted me to shine so I learned to dim my own light. But I’m slowly learning how to heal from all of this. It hurts a lot sometimes I cry for hours thinking about it, but I know I need a way to release pain. You are loved and I admire your strength love!!!! Stay blessed.
"Im ok. You're ok." The book assignment from Psych 101 back in the day. 😉
Okay, homecoming has been ordered from amazon.
One more baby step to healing.
My very favorite thing about you and your channel is not only do you provide information and validation, but also A SOLUTION 💜
❤❤❤
I love that you’re interactive with your followers. I am in the process of learning about my inner child. It’s so uncomfortable. Is that common? Feeling so uncomfortable with this, and these videos?
Same here.
You are the likely the best authority to speak to your own experience, however I think it's really common to feel uncomfortable when we are challenged about patterns / habits that helped us survive these types of things as we were growing up but are no longer relevant or helpful because our nervous systems / automatic processing patterns haven't yet been updated. So, this kind of information could feel, on the neurological level, like your very survival is being threatened. You likely know that this isn't actually literally true but those old deep neural patterns take time and support to re-form. Hope you can be gentle with yourself across your healing process and that you are able to get the supports you need for your healing. Know that you are in good company! Many of us find this very uncomfortable, especially in the beginning of growing our awareness.
Patrick your videos make so much sense to me its frightening and exciting at the same time. Im older and I wish i had learned this earlier. TY.
Thank you for sharing your knowledge and wisdom. These types of content are what makes me most grateful UA-cam exists.
Thank you for uploading
Thank you! When you said "You are important" I just broke because I was not important in my family so I have lived like I am not important or worth anyone's real time. WOW!
Thank you - great timing!
Started doing the work a couple of days ago, and man did it make a difference in my stress levels! Then yesterday kinda didn't go as planned and mini me took over😑🤷♀️
I'll just have to talk to my self some more😊
The first task alone just made my heart race. That sounds like an absolutely terrible idea. I don't want to see her or think about her. But I think that's probably also the exact reason I should do it. I paused the video, but now I'm even more anxious about what this second task will be. 😱
I couldn’t imagine my Saturday night having been any better, thanks to your videos which prompted me to pull out my “therapy notebook” and dive head first. Big emotional activation right away was a sign that I was online and ready to spend some quality time with myself, present and rooted in my feelings. Blessed to have healers like yourself providing tools like this so readily available. 🙏🏼💙
Bradshaw is in libraries too. I love having homework. Thank you
This guy has some really great content.
How beautiful it would be to heal and to have my daughter heal . My grandchildren deserve it. I love them all so much. Thank you Patrick.
Awww…such a cute little boy Patrick was 💙! How could anyone even consider hurting him 😭?
Ive been acknowledging my inner child lately, she even came out to say she loves me and to be strong ❤️
I saw her and tried my hardest to comfort jer
I'm still on chapter one of this book. I've been taking breaks at every paragraph that relates to me and it has opened my eyes alot. I was so confused at alot of things and I knew something was wrong but could not put my finger on it. Now I am slowly understanding the reason why I lived in so much shame with no identity whatsoever, and why I was deeply afraid of expressing my own desires.
Edit: I reached chapter 4. It's painful but I'm learning alot and doing the exercises with trusted friend.
I paused the video and downloaded Bradshaw’s book. Couldn’t get through the prologue without crying. I hope you realize how much you are helping.
Love to you.
Doctor, it took me a year of therapy and several successful talks with the inner child and holding parents accountable to being able to practice extra therapy based on your videos. Before this year of therapy I consumed all your videos as a practical information. Now this is a new level of diving deep into my psyche.
Patrick, I’m so happy I found you. At almost 55 years old, I’ve been busy trying to deny the impact of my traumatic childhood for decades. I’ve not allowed myself to grieve or recognized the impact the trauma has had on my life. What a gift your body of work is to me!! Thank you.
I remember when Bradshaw was on public television. That was a long time ago.
I met my inner child for the first time back then. It was frightening to see her back then… she was emaciated,sheet white, sick and dying on a little bed in the dark with only a bare light bulb overhead..she didn’t speak or acknowledge my presence nor did she even move 😢. I thought she was dead at first but I kept visiting her anyway… it was horribly painful to see her but I didn’t give up…
With time, therapy, love, patience, perseverance, understanding and 12-step program little Jill eventually got out of her death bed and gradually came alive… and it turns out she is actually a very lively outgoing tomboy wearing redhead pigtails, sneakers, sporting a sprinkling of freckles across her little nose, loves to run around/ have fun , wearing overalls and her nickname is PETE! I adore her and am developing a good relationship with her 💙… which has been tough for her because she doesn’t trust me because I have not protected her in the past. She requires a lot of reassurance and proof that I am becoming trustworthy.
Just bought HOMECOMING and looking forward to even more recovery 😊🌸❤️😇
Such a struggle to even find my inner child. I was abused by a narcissistic mother and emotionally absent father, as where my siblings (3 older brothers). Also sexual abuse by a brother. I’m 71 now and being on a uk pension I cannot afford a therapist, never could. I try to ignore the pain as much as possible. I’ve seen quite a few of your videos now. ❤️ from England
I was adopted at 6 months. The one and only time I stopped trying to please my adopted mother I was SHOT DOWN and told; « I can always return you, you know. » I have been unable to defend myself without overreacting or crying ever since. (Except for during COVID when I was meditating daily) I am 69. Buying that book to read TODAY!!! Thank you!
Man, you were the cutest kid! I actually cried when I saw the photo. It makes me sad that little children get hurt the way they do…even when the parents are trying their best. Thanks so much for all you do and explain!
I started watching a lot of these videos lately and even though it's been really hard, my inner child told me today that she was thankful to me for finally making a space where she could be safe to be noticed. Even though she often causes disruptions and feels uncontrollable when I notice her, I'm glad she can finally start saying how she feels so I can figure out what to do next
Thank you so much for making this series. In conjunction with talk therapy, EMDR, and ACOA meetings I have made many attempts at doing inner child work but it is so difficult for me to connect to her because of the pain barrier of intense grief. I have also not been encouraged to do such workable steps to help connect, so I thank you for these first few activities. I know exactly which picture I will select and am looking forward to diving into 'Home Coming'. Hopefully I can break through my resistance! You are a gem!
That’s what I’ve been doing lately, parenting my inner kid. That’s probably why the algorithm started showing me these videos. It’s very smart to listen to me tell people how I’m buying my inner child a root beer or when I’m at work talking about why I dyed my hair. It’s for my inner kid. This fucking androgynous child that in a way helped me connect with my own androgyny in such a way that I’m surprised to say I didn’t anticipate. Some times you really do need a child’s blessing. And it’s great knowing that at least I’m not the only one with an inner child.
I'm going to therapy but your videos really help me get through the week in between sessions and keep working on myself outside of them
I love your stuff. A LOT of people on here do what you do - but you're the only one where I've said, "ok he gets it"...
I wish I had someone explain inner child like this to me years ago, I would have resisted it way less. Excellent videos.
This channel has been more supportive and helpful to me than almost any other on UA-cam
Totally get this. I recognised this problem instinctively myself after suffering a parental bereavement. At the point of bereavement the inner child hidden rage immediately calmed. Up to that point the rage was a constant perpetuating thing because I was having to continually deal with trauma every day. But with the rage came a lot of hurt and that hurt still remained. So my inner child and I started to converse and I started to parent her. She knows she's protected and loved now and that it was OK to feel that hurt but together we'll move forward and she can have everything she didn't get but deserves. That being unconditional love but above all, validity. A child must have validity. Now she has it and we both feel much better. I'll cherish her and she will want for nothing now.
You keep me going
I'm in a strange situation where I am a teen, however I feel like I have an adult and an inner child part of myself.
Omg!! I thought it was stupid to feel this way!
I feel the same, and I think it is because the inner child has been 'damaged' and so had to 'grow up', which became the adult. I don't know if that makes sense, but it is the best explaination I can come up with atm
I hope you're well ^^
Omg me too! It's like I always have these two people interacting inside my head! One is always more panicky and scared and angry and the other one is always more soothing and rational and colected so to speak
Omg windows 95 was the best! Haha love that analogy! Thank u for ur awesome videos! I’m going to try to write that list..wow!
❤️
This is what I have been searching for for a while. I've been on the journey of self discovery in earnest for a few years now and you have helped me get off the plateau I have been on for months. Definitely a lot of climbing to do still and I appreciate your work more than I can describe here.
Thank You Patrick for sharing these. My therapist recommended Homecoming too. I’m on a solo holiday to relax by the beach and focus on me & your channel is a comfort & informative source to listen to. 🙏🙂 I’m able to forget my marc mum at home & not be triggered
"and hopefully get our shit together"...that was well
placed and was comforting by keeping it real, lol 👍
Your videos have had me taking the most fervent notes I’ve taken in my life. No school lesson has compared! Thank you so much! I’ve had such a hard time relating to my inner child and communicating, I think because I didn’t understand what it was.
You are a God-send. Those of us who know, know. These silent pains and horrors that dictate our lives. Until....key souls like you bring light and show the path...xx
I have a picture of my younger self on a make up mirror. It first it was a dissociation, now I am used to doing make up every day with this child. Caring about this child makes me care about myself
Man that picture thing! this is the first thing they are teaching us in undergrad counselling school in London. Thank you for sharing the basics as per the book! I have been lost in therapy land for 21 years and just now I am finding THE professional way to heal. I am back to school though not young anymore.
Thank you Dr. Teahan for your channel. I found one of your videos a few months ago when I was struggling with extream negative emotions and I think flash backs to my personal trauma. not gunna lie I almost lost my fight and was getting ready to take a perminate nap but I was so interested and engaged by your videos I just kind of started to binge watching your channel and next thing I knew it was time to get my daughter to school.
I have no doubt that If i didn't see your channel my daughter would not have her mother and my husband would not have his wife today.
so again thank you for all the hard work you do and I can't begin to explain how Proud I am to see how successful and happy you are.
When you started describing the symptoms of being run by your inner child and I was shocked at how much it fit me. This video has given me so much insight and I think this time I'm gonna stop being hard-headed and listen to advice.
Patrick, you are a light in darkness.
That's such a great point to note how your inner child runs you! Reflecting more on your relationship with your inner child is so important.
That is me.😭😭♥️ I am so grateful to find you ❤️. Thanks
Inner child - treat this as you imagining your adopting a child and be a parent to the child. Reinvent a connection to yourself. Things for me to reflect on: is my inner child too emotional or shows very little emotion, find a pic that speaks to me. Good video thank you 😊
Bro I just learned so much about myself it's crazy
I have no doubt that these videos save peoples lives. Thank you Patrick!
You have such a gentle soul, Patrick. Thanks for all you do❤️
"Shame panic attack" I need to get that as a tattoo or something.
Honestly!
Can I just say how ADORABLE your childhood photos are??!!❤❤
I’m very glad I found your videos.
You're a god send. I honestly thought I was the only person who felt like this, and so shameful. Then you said exactly what I was feeling. I'm older and single. New neighbor kids moved in across the street and the 9 year old twins visit me a few times a day. Somehow it's helping heal my inner child and become the adult. I'm starting to live in the moment like a child and move on. Does that sound strange?
This explains my first 3 sessions so much...I was confused why I was so upset and quit therapy. I may need to call my therapist back, I canceled it, but she was doing a great job.
when you made the foster care analogy i bust out crying loool I work with foster kids, and i was watching this bc i was upset/triggered by a situation that one of my kids is going through, which is something that i also went through SOOOOOO i aint gotta imagine that
THANK YOU❤️ omg you are so calming we are lucky to have access to these videos
Personally I'm stuck on Windows XP cause that's the last time I felt like I knew what a computer was like
This is AMAZING work.
This is going to be really hard and emotional. But I'll give it all I got.
"mike from accounting isn't actually evil" lmao but his dry sense of humor and hands off attitude are sabatoging meeeee 😂😭😂
You are amazing! I’m so grateful for you teaching these things.
Love the Windows 95/MacOS analogy!