This is very helpful for porn and sex addiction. I did memory reconsolidation on my own, without knowing what I was doing or what MR is, because I found out that the root of my fantasies when I wanted to hook up with random girls or watch porn, was a belief that was given to me during highschool, that the amount of sex I had was tied to my inherent self worth, and my strong urge to be accepted by peers, which at the time was immense, translated into a craving, to fill this void. And of course, I couldn't ever fill it, so I kept wanting more and more, which is what I called addiction. But then I brought that memory and belief up, I felt the emotions of it... And changed the memory and belief. Suddenly, the cravings vanished, even if I go and expose myself to it, I am not interested in fantasizing about it or hooking up with random girls... It happened so suddenly and it was like magic... I talked about it with others that had the same issue, and imo this belief, given to young men during their teens, it is something widespread nowadays, that's why you have all of these redpill/incel/nofap communities , that's what they all have in common.
I have not actually commented on a UA-cam video before, but feel compelled to here. The information being presented here and in the other videos by Dr. Olds are incredibly helpful. I went through a divorce a couple of years ago which sent me on a self discovery journey I was not expecting. I found myself looking autism and then found myself looking into concepts of trust and then further into trauma and parts… and now I see an actual way to treat trauma and frameworks to think through these subjects. It is also frightening and I see how there is significant work to be done that is aside from intellectually understanding or being familiar. Thank you for the quality of the communication here.
You are amazing! The kind and compassionate way you explain things...it's not stone cold clinical but not airy fairy positive. It's clear and easy to absorb and understand. This is an incredible skill. Thank you for sharing the way you do.
Damn. Went to therapy over 5 years in my twenties. For years of SA as a child that left me with C-PTSD, major depression, and always suicidal to some degree. The therapist knew why I was there, everything I had been through… and still crossed serious lines multiple time- ethical and legal. I’m in my late 30s now and while I finally was able to improve some, this video here made me be able to put into words something I knew but could never really verbalize- that therapist made everything so much harder, so much worse, and now I can see why. If that therapist is “opening” these memories the NOT “updating” those schemas properly, even in fact confirming them by repeating that same kind of abuse… that’s like setting those schemas in Roman concrete. To be honest, I don’t think much of my distressing beliefs about people and the world ARE logically wrong, just that most people need to believe the world isn’t as dangerous or violent as it really is because they couldn’t cope if they faced it. Being older and wiser I am badly depressed less often, but more angry. I see that as massive progress though, since while anger has. It’s problems, its still a lot safer in all ways than depression. And anger is only happens when you blame others, and other are who deserve the blame in my situation, and it took me years to be able to feel that.
So beautifully clear & compassionately explained! Thank you Dr. Tori ❤. I’ve been exploring, reading & healing for 30+ years - mostly on my own (Bradshaw’s family systems work & ACoA/Al-Anon early on) & sometimes with a therapist when I had insurance.money has always been a barrier to therapy for me. I accidentally did what seems like memory reconsolidation (when my now-grown kids were 3 & 6) by catching myself while yelling in anger, stopping mid sentence, apologizing aloud immediately, & letting my kids know my angry outburst was wrong & not their fault. I then asked them for permission to try again to say it differently - usually something like “let’s get busy picking up the toys together so we can leave on time & not be late for school.” I was a stressed out mom! In this process, my kids always accepted my apology, gave me permission to say it again differently, & the tone & everything shifted. I repeated this action every time I lost control with an angry outburst. Eventually, I would catch myself as the anger was rising up &!pause. I’d notice the feeling & reframe how I spoke to my kids - with kindness, not placing my anger on them. Long & the short is that the anger completely stopped welling up & I purged myself of the desire to lash out at my innocent little children. It felt like a major miracle & I’ve never forgotten it. I’ve wanted to find ways to use this method to change other behaviors but I haven’t had people to engage with & to practice that with like I did with my kids. I see now from hearing you, Dr. Tori, that this is work I would want to do with a trained therapist who knows memory reconsolidation. I’m currently seeing a therapist free of charge at the college where I’m attending paralegal classes (I’m 67 😉 & still learning). Sadly, this therapist isn’t familiar with memory reconsolidation. I’ve tried to find a therapist in my area who does have this knowledge, but have had no luck. It would be great if there was a resource available to connect with therapists who are familiar with your work & with Bruce Esker’s teachings. Hopefully some might work on a sliding scale. Thanks for any resources you might be able to offer & thank you for your amazing, compassionate videos, Dr. Tori 🙏♥️
I know I am super late for this but this is helping me because I have that same mindset so I make my brain believe it forgets how to do certain things and I also talk myself down so I struggle with self motivation so thank DR for these amazing videos!
Truly revolutionary. Without working with subconscious felt based belief, there's no real change in humanity. This is not just about "a change", this to me feels like a huge shift, a transformation. Thank you Dr. Olds.
Well said! And I truly appreciate your commenting here and on the other two videos! Thank you so much for your engagment and kind feedback!! I'll try to get back for making more videos in a few months! Lots more to share! ;)
The greatest incomparable gift to the psychiatric, therapy and teaching is Dr. Tori Olds, the world ,clients,and students are bettered by her work and her kind sincere engagement.
Love your channel. I hope it grows. This video actually explained a recent experience of mine, where i was able to do exactly that. I struggle with a anxiety disorder and figured out what core belief is behind the fear. I then proved to myself that it is untrue, while i was in the state of strong anxiety. It was relative easy, because it was the belief that i am dumb and i made an iq test. But it was a very strong and liberating experience. After i was surprised, that it really changed the anxiety attacks in certain situations, without me having to constantly reafirm myself. I am glad i found a explanation and i hope i can utilize it in other cases.
Late to the thread here, but a huge thank you for putting to words some of the bits and pieces of concepts I've found along my personal path of healing but haven't had words for. The world owes it to those of you dedicating your lives to these studies.
I also wanna thank you for your service. the way you explain is very clear, simple and inspires compassion without it being a religious commandment. thanks ❤
Yes! Thank you for clearly putting into words the things I implicitly (hah!) learned after decades of failed therapy. I am convinced this is the reason why CBT does not work for (most) people suffering from CPTSD, and can in fact harm, dysregulate, and traumatize further. Cognitively brute forcing your way through nervous system (over)activation and deeply wired trauma responses is not sustainable or even possible in many cases. I wish more therapists were aware of this, it would have saved me decades of suffering and iatrogenic trauma. Thank you for being part of this growing movement and spreading this knowledge!
Thank you so much Dr. Tori. I've been on a journey (ifs and psychedelics); I discovered your channel a few days ago and am so grateful for your voice, cadence, unpretentiousness, and complete information. I discover so much more with your style!!! Note: I was triggered by the date you posted this video because it was 12 days before my major trauma. I hope you know how you make such a difference in peoples lives! Thank you for sharing and being part of the psychological renaissance you mentioned!!!
Really great stuff. Gently updating the core, suboptimal, harming beliefs. Sounds very similar to exposure and/or CBT to me, too I loved the examples Dr Olds gave later in the video (10:00ish) because it showed us how to apply these techniques It would be even more helpful to have a daily set of steps / ritual to go through to actually reconsolidate a common memory that most patients struggle with; you gave the sharing your emotions example, but more steps from start to finish would be awesome!! As usual, Dr. Olds' advice and explanations come from professional experience applying these techniques, and data-backed research papers that have been successful at helping patients
Dr. Tori Olds I want to express a pure love and gratitude for you making these amazing educational video. And express how much it has transformed the way I relate to myself to others and my internal landscape. I’ve finally at 28 been able to accept I need help and to start therapy which was very intimidating for me. I want to thank you and your part in it all !❤
It is amazing and gives so much hope. It also explains how manipulation works in reverse mode. How even evidence don't change some people, only causes temporary confusion. If someone doesn't like the evidence, if they don't benefit emotionally or financially, new evidence stops them for a little until they gather/ make up excuses or information to reinforce the old view that they don't want to let go. Self-deception falls into this behavior too. We live in an exiting time. Humanity needs tools to heal traumas, so we don't destroy each other and our environment. It is painful time because growing is painful. Looking into mirrors can be painful. If there is no willingness to take up that pain, if the comfort of not changing is valued more: no betterment of our world is possible. Also: that is why gaslighting is so mentally exhausting and can drive people crazy. When a predator is enjoying hurting their victim, when they enjoy the confusion, the victim's mental abuse is playing with her basic survival processes. In a level that is not even in her hand because it is wired so deeply, it is evolutionary so important, it is about survival. At one time, I was gaslighted and two versions of reality were presented at the same time. Although I did wanted to find the truth with the full commitment to handle the truth, my mind felt extremely messed up. I even felt nauseous and somewhat like they spun me around. At night, when my mind still wanted to come up with a coherent story, I was grinding my teeth. I was so surprised in the morning when I didn't understand why I have sand grains on my tongue. It took me a couple of seconds to realize: that is actually the top of my teeth. Mental abuse is powerful, painful and deep. On top of it: nobody takes it seriously because it is not the same as a big, gaping, bleeding wound. To suffer alone without any other human's care and warmth is pretty awful.
"The heart doesn't always know what the head knows." "My cognitive acknowledgement doesn't mean I've taken it to heart." "In order to heal old wounds, you must first reopen them." "This body is nothing more than a biological meat-machine that runs experiential programming." "Reprogramming a behavior rooted in memory requires an experience at least as profound as the memory." "Overwriting scars." I've been toying with this concept for years now, saying things like those. The topics on this channel are uncannily analogous. I'm a computer programmer, and amateur behavioral psychologist with a special interest in trauma and neurodivergence. I recently found myself overtaken with the idea that there are "many me's", I found that the way I would disclose my "current mind" to others (my "current headspace", how long it takes to "change my headgears", that "I am in work-mode and can't take your words to heart at this moment", or that "The mode my head is in right now is unable to play guitar very well at all, I'll need a few drinks to let my emotional side come out", etc) is incredibly analogous to D.I.D, in that "changing headgears" was analogous to "switching", or that being unable to pull myself out of an age regressive state is like being "front stuck", etc, except that my headspaces are all "logically co-conscious, but not emotionally co-conscious." Like, "I know I'll feel an emotion about X later when I'm no longer in this dissociative state." I subsequently began talking about this rather publicly, and I was then recommended to look into IFS, which is far, far more descriptive of my perspective of my own behaviors and the "many me's" thing. The "memory reconsolidation" reverberates to me all of my language about my meatmachine hypothesis, the lack of free will (eg, self-sabotage, different "me's" having different ideals/goals/desires, inability to simply will permanent change in my own behavior), etc. It also subsequently transformed into more of a philosophy full of paradox (eg, we only behave as we are experientially programmed to, therefore I cannot reasonably judge others for their behaviors, and yet I still do because I am programmed to do so), that simply being cognizant of something doesn't mean it has been taken to heart -> internalized -> incorporated into my behavior and treatment of others, but that continuing to be cognizant long-term would result in slow gradual change (CBT, I suppose). That personal CBT-esque idea thus extends not to one's self, but in how others are conditioned over time to behave as a result of how I treat them, and so on. Thus, it became more of a philosophy and more of a secular and psychological personal religion/spirituality with one main underlying morality that admittedly is very jesus-esque: "Treat others how you would prefer to be treated", because behavior is viral, behavior spreads, and kindness spreads. That spirituality - being based largely on the premise that we are all merely meat-machines - also implicitly expands into a pantheistic perspective - that human neurological processes - and as such, human psychological behavior - operates on the same fundamental laws of classical physics: actions and reactions, a need for homeostasis, a mental balance, "As above, so below. As below, so above." That as a physical and biological machine programmed through our experiences of others, that all societies themselves are also emergent machines, working together to build, survive, etc, and yet also harm itself; and yet through that harm, there is a balance, a silver-lining, and in the case of trauma, that silver lining is often an inescapable drive to become self-aware enough, forced to become emotionally intelligent enough, to work through that trauma and use that gained wisdom to understand our own psychology and to help others. That there truly is a reason for everything, even if it may not be pre-determined, that reason may be as simple as cause-and-effect. That we are all one. That we all have purpose. And that nothing we could ever do could possibly take that purpose away from us. And despite that some of our existences are horrendously painful, the only miraculous thing about any of this is that we have the ability to experience it, to be self-aware. That self-awareness itself is the way to reprogram ourselves, and therein lies our freedom of will, yet which could not have come about if trauma did not exist. That is the inevitable mathematical solution to the problem of the imbalance of trauma: free will. One doesn't exist without the other, just the same as there is no cold without hot, no up without down, no inside without outside, no good without evil; these are merely the opposite ends of the same corresponding scales. It is no wonder at all that therapists so often become therapists due to their own personal traumas. To have problems is to inevitably seek solutions. How did you come to work so closely with IFS and memory re-consolidation?
Thank you for putting me on to Bruce Ecker with this video, and the Parts video. This process is very much what we use in Hypnotherapy (my training is 5PATH) with age regression, forgiveness work and parts work. It’s good to have the neurological research and language to back up our work.
Such a useful series, Dr. Tori :) Landed on these while I was looking for videos to support learning for my students (We are learning about Cognitive Psychology) and now I am hooked. Thank you so much! As a practicing Therapist, this is like landing on a Gold Mine :D
Awe, that's nice to hear!! Thanks!! Next time you are in need of some online CEU's, you might enjoy looking into one of my 'deeper dive' courses for therapists (toriolds.com/ceus-for-therapists/). There's even an ethics one (around trauma). Thanks again for leaving a comment and so glad to hear you are finding the content interesting!! :)
Question 🙋🏻♂️ You said that there is a five hour window for “updates and tweaks” to the original schema….how many times can the memory be opened and reconsolidated? What if the memory for the client is to horrific? Wouldn’t that be more damaging in the long run? Absolutely LOVE your work and videos, NGL your videos have encouraged me to look into becoming a therapist :)
Hello, I'm very new to coherence therapy and see mixed reactions on the web. This video of yours is 4 years old; have you used Coherence Therapy a lot in your practice in those intervening years? Is your experience as glowing as Ecker's presentations? Like all the symptoms go away? Thanks for your clarity, gentleness, and great examples. Cheers to you, Richard
Thank you, Dr. Stan Tatkin!! :) Ha! I feel famous that you posted on my channel! I'm sure I'll be referencing your work quite a bit on this channel, so I'm glad you are here! Always nice to have an old mentor notice you! Sending love your way... ;)
Thanks so much for the kind response!! I would love if you were willing to pass along!! I don't really know how to spread the word on things, so any help would be much appreciated ;) Glad you enjoyed!!
Really great presentation! I just want to say that I, and others, practice a form of psychotherapy called the Pesso Boyden System Psychomotor (PBSP, named after it's inventors, Albert Pesson and his wife, Diane Boyden Peso) that has been operating with these principles of memory reconsolidation since the 1960"s. I'm pleased that the memory reconsolidation model is becoming widespread!
Are you familiar with the work of Eugene Gendlin? He and his colleague had discovered essentially the same thing by analyzing the work of many psychotherapists. I wonder if they did it before Bruce Ecker did. The process he developed is called Focusing. Here's an excerpt from Wikipedia: "Focusing is an internally oriented psychotherapeutic process developed by psychotherapist Eugene Gendlin. It can be used in any kind of therapeutic situation, including peer-to-peer sessions. It involves holding a specific kind of open, non-judging attention to an internal knowing which is experienced but is not yet in words. Focusing can, among other things, be used to become clear on what one feels or wants, to obtain new insights about one's situation, and to stimulate change or healing of the situation.[1] Focusing is set apart from other methods of inner awareness by three qualities: something called the "felt sense", a quality of engaged accepting attention, and a researched-based technique that facilitates change."
For memory reconsolidation specifically geared towards attachment, I highly recommend checking out the three pillar model/ IPF (ideal parent figure) protocol designed by Dan Brown and David Elliot for healing attachment disturbances in adults, if that’s something you’re interested in.
Great question! There are actually endless ways you can become aware of old schemas that live in implicit memory. Yes, sometimes these layers of our self are what you might think of as 'repressed'--meaning that we learned it wasn't safe to have that information because someone else in our life couldn't handle it (which may relate to your not feeling much--but more on that in a sec)...but although our implicit mind CAN be repressed, this type of implicit learning is also just naturally wired to be non-conscious (because it doesn't need to be conscious, so the mind doesn't want to spend energy tracking it). But, strangely enough when we simply ask the brain for the information--in other words when we turn our awareness inward and look for information about ourselves--the brain is perfectly able to collect that information for us and translate it into words (although usually it goes through less verbal means first, like images, metaphor, gut sense, impulse, body sensation, etc.). One way to move it into words more quickly is to do sentence completions around whatever behavior we are curious about, like "I must have a drink right now because if I don't..." and see what the unconscious mind has to say about it. It's like it almost can't help but complete the sentence. Seeing aspects of ourselves as a 'part' of us, and then asking that part whatever we want to know, can also be really helpful. Or journaling and just seeing what comes out. Just like anything, our mind needs a second to figure it out (like it would to figure anything out), the problem is we usually don't give it that time. We don't turn our focus toward ourself, so the brain doesn't even have a chance to figure out how it is wired. In terms of the emotion question--yeah...you are not alone. While we can learn to ignore any part of ourselves, emotion is the most common because so many people had parents that either ignored or couldn't handle their kids feelings (or we had some other experience that taught us to get in the habit of ignoring our emotions). Luckily you don't have to be able to feel in order to explore WHY you don't want to feel. Just start imagining yourself having emotion, or expressing emotion to someone, and notice the anxiety that comes up. And then ask that part what it is afraid of. Or do the sentence completion example, like "I better never let myself feel like that with someone, because if I do..." etc. And that way you can get the information about WHY you don't feel--without having to actually know how to access your inner emotions. Of course, if you can work through whatever concerns come up, then it might be easier in the future to know what you feel!! Hope that's helpful!!:) (Oh, and the video after this one does go into some of this, if that's helpful...) tori
This is incredibly helpful, Dr. Olds. My only issue is that I'm 58 and I have a really hard time remembering specific incidents from childhood. Are there ways to remember some incidents so that I can uncover these schemas and is it possible to do this on your own? Do you recommend guided meditations or journaling to bring them out? I wish you''d consider creating a guided meditation. You have a soothing voice for sure. Thank you for these amazing videos!!
Hey Jeff! Sorry, I thought I had responded to this question when you wrote it. I guess not! Well, luckily when we are working with implicit memory, that is really not dependent on remembering explicit events. It is more about noticing patterns in what we LEARNED through those events about the nature of reality...what to expect, how to respond, etc. So we can see those patterns of learning and conditioning in our current behavior or emotional reactions. Then we simply need to search inside to discover what we can feel out related to what we believe. It's funny because we are used to 'feeling' emotions, but this is kind of like 'feeling' or 'sensing into' our beliefs. It's different than rationally thinking about what we probably believe...it is sensing inside to discover what 'feels' true. So it takes some mindfulness, or yes, you could use journaling, or other ways of exploring what is underneath. Whatever works for you. Either way, instead of looking for 'what happened', instead ask inside 'what feels true?' Like if you have a part of you that is hard on yourself, you might picture that part and ask it "what are you afraid would happen if you stopped by hard on me?" Or you could even do a sentence completion where you just ask yourself 10 times in a row to finish the sentence: "I must be hard on myself, because if I'm not ____". You're really asking your mind to speak to you about it's inner, unconscious reality so that you can open up that early learning and see if eventually it can be updated with new information. Hope that helps! Take care! Tori
Do you have a book about this ? I would love to look into it, I am studying psychology and we learn about this in memory and perception but not in the same way that a clinical psychologist can explain it.
@@DrToriOlds thank you so much for your work here. I second this commentor's request for a guided meditation! I am just finishing up an undergrad in counseling, and moving on to masters studies next year. What advice do you have for would-be counselors like myself?
J C you could also use a gestalt technique chair work and the schemas and coping modes would come out through that work without needing to know the specific memories
"Opening neural networks for relearning" only matters if the client actually has a different reality to learn different things from. Leaking through is the assumption that the client's view of reality is distorted and that they just need to be somehow conned into fixing it.
This is an amazing video and makes so much sense on why i have certain trust issues in relationships that follow me regardless. What are ways to reactivate the experience and change the belief patterns. it seems the only way would be to trust my partner to not hurt me/do things that have happened before that i lack trust in and have my partner validate me in those times. however, i feel that if i am hurt and proved wrong again it will only strengthen that irrational predictive model. how can i use this in relationships & change belief patterns with new experiences without depending on someone else to change my belief systems and have the patterns be solidified through my own work?
Yeah, it’s a great question. First it is important to get as specific as possible as to what we unconsciously believe. Not just that “I’ll probably get hurt”, but really what exactly do I believe? Because it is in the specifics that we can usually find the disconfirm. Is the belief an overgeneralization? (No one in this world can be trusted…), or is it about the consequences of getting hurt (I can’t handle disappointment-or others can’t handle me being hurt and disappointed-so I must avoid it urgently), etc. Our beliefs are highly specific and we need to ask internally or deeply explore (maybe through parts work), to find the exact words that fit. Then it is easier to notice the ways those words aren’t exactly true. Like knowing your partner might occasionally disappoint (and that you can handle some emotions around that-and that humans are capable of repairing and growing together, etc) is different than what the schema might believe. Hope that helps!
@@DrToriOlds Thank you for that answer and I have a refinement on the question... I can see how I could "disprove" the schema that "I am unlovable" with new information, but what if my schema seems like it is "If I'm utterly myself and vulnerable with someone I trust they could be overwhelmed and abandon me". This relates to adult relational trauma - not something experienced in childhood. To me that schema sounds specific like what you are asking for, and yet my brain knows that I can never disprove that! Can you add some more insight about this? Thank you!
Do you have any thoughts on Brunet's method? Im starting this week, using beta blockers to help the brain reconsolidate with out the bodily effects from the trauma.
I am curious about the statement, "Memories exist in a neural network or pattern." This is something I have heard before. Axons, dendrites, and neurons do form patterns when stimulated. However, the patterns are not fixed and dissipate when the stimulation ceases. When the stimulation stops, the axions move to other interesting sites, the dendrites accept new axions, and the pattern dissolves. The dissolving of the pattern has led to the assumption in "Memory Consolidation theory" that there is a "Memory Trace." The memory trace is said to be the process whereby the brain keeps track of all of the patterns of axions, dendrites, and neurons, signaling them to reassemble into the pattern developed initially. This mechanism is not well defined, and its location is unknown. When dendrites and axons are inactive for some period of time, the brain has a process called "pruning and trimming." The inactive connections are pruned and trimmed out by the brain to make room for more active connections. This is related to the brain's neuroplasticity. If patterns were formed permanently as memories and the memories were inactive for some time, as in long-term memory, the brain would prune the connections out and destroy any patterns that could be reformed. We have trillions of memories, and we make new ones every moment. The older we are, the more memories we have. How does the brain know which ones to throw out or keep? Notwithstanding all of the connections of neurons in the brain, if all our memories were permanent patterns, the brain would be filled, and we would experience gridlock in our brain. So, where are the memories? We have struggled to find one memory in the physical brain, and we have not found one yet. So, where are they? There is no current theory on how memories are created, how they are stored, where they are stored, how they are recalled, and then restored or reconsolidated that will pass Occam's razor. The most curious question is, where are our memories? We have so many memories, yet we can't find one in the brain. Memories are changing all the time. They are in a balanced matrix; when one memory is changed, the whole matrix must be rebalanced, shifting and changing many other memories. Memories build on each other, and none stand alone. The video sounds great, but it seems to have feet of clay. Mike
Gosh, that's such a great question. The basic process I talk about in the video is more an underlying mechanism of change rather than a specific type of therapy. That being said, there are many forms of therapy that are more likely to achieve this progression of experience (accessing the original belief / schema / neural net / 'part', there is different language for it), and then providing a new experience that updates the information stored there. Coherence Therapy does this very explicitly, though is harder to find. One therapy I think that does this work quite beautifully and is actually more accessible is Internal Family Systems (IFS). So you might start there. Somatic Experiencing, Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, even EMDR (which is definitely easy to find), also can achieve this progression. The biggest problem is just finding a therapist who is skilled enough to use the model they ascribe to effectively enough to actually 'go as deep' as is necessary. So the skill of the therapist is also important (I'm sorry to say).
Hello Dr. Olds. Your presentation here is like a four course meal served on fine china! Thanks. You refer to Dan Siegel in another video I watched. He promotes creating a “coherent narrative” as a method of integration and change for those who have non-secure attachment histories. He and Dr. Lisa Firestone created an online course to guide a person through creating a coherent narrative (I purchased the course but have not gone all the way trough it). Would you say Dr. Siegel’s approach (assuming you know about his work in this area) is incremental or transformational?
Great question! Yes, i am very familiar with Dr. Siegel’s work and love it! So the answer most likely is that the process of developing a coherent narrative might at times work to create incremental change, and at other transformational change. And both are wonderful! Incremental would be like having a daily mindfulness practice and slowly allowing information in the brain to flow in a new way (through “snagging” the brain, to use siegels language). Reflecting on one’s life would have a similar effect, slowly allowing new neurons to grow and new connections to be made (more integration...both in terms of brain regions as well as the way the memories themselves are stored). At the same time, it is not uncommon during that work for a person to become aware of a scheme that they hold, and in the process perhaps have a disconfirm. For instance most of us have some sort of schema that our inner world is unknowable, unapproachable, dangerous, shameful, etc. So if we hit against this belief as we go deeper, but then have a clear experience of not being overwhelmed by our inner world (or finding anything shameful there or it not making any sense, or whatever), then a disconfirm is likely to happen. So the bottom line is that either is likely, but it will vary from person to person! I don’t think this type of work is specifically designed around creating disconfirms the way coherence therapy is, but i believe they are part of what make it profound (along with some wonderful incremental change as well). Hope that’s helpful!! Thanks for asking!!
Is Schema therapy enfolded in Coherence Therapy....are they distinct as I just discovered Schema Therapy recently...I'm guessing Coherence is a more advanced and deeper type of therapy than Schema ?
ok. i'm halfway through and i'm thinking maybe i didn't hear correctly what i heard since it's about 1am and i should be sleeping. if i did hear what i've heard...WHOA!!!!!!! comment to be continued at some point ...
I tend to forget everything in indirect way, it’s like I’m doing it intentionally but I don’t mean it, idk how But what ik is that I started to do that in my childhood to run away from my reality and then I realized that i started to do it whenever i catch feelings for any person (a friend or a partner) i run away from making good memories with them and i tend to forget the already made ones with them.. It’s an endless struggle that is causing me to lose my whole life, like rn I’m typing this while I can’t remember any of yesterday’s event. Idk what to do, I would appreciate any advice you can give.
I know it can be difficult to find the right fit in terms of therapists, but I encourage you to do your best in the search, until you find someone who might be able to help you walk through the issues coming up. It's hard to do it alone...
In example in 9”: what if child’s belief was: I may not be safe if I share my feelings, it depends with whom I share them. I trust some, I mistrust some. What would be mismatching experience?
Reconsolidation means when a memory is consolidated (put back into a long-term format) for a SECOND (or third, etc.) time. In other words, we are looking at how you can sort of 'open up' old memories (that have already been consolidated or stabilized into long-term memory), and shift them before they once again become stable. That way our implicit memory can change what it unconsciously learned about how to respond to things...Hope that helps!
I'm confused. When I think of the actual traumatic memory, I can't actually get a felt sense. It's cognitive. So I'm not sure how to reconsolidate the memory. I get the felt sense of the memory during specific moments, when I'm going through a depressive episode, I'm stressed, things are going wrong, and the negative beliefs about myself surface. THEN it is felt, along with the corresponding schema and beliefs about myself. So what do I do when that happens?
Yes, for sure. Hopefully soon I'll be making a video on some of the underlying roots of depression from this lens. For instance, depression might be a learned response to 'protect' us from some other emotion that we were punished for (like our anger), or even to mute out our deeper grief, or as a by-product of some other coping strategy (like if we have emotionally learned it is not safe to connect, we could end up feeling lonely and therefore depressed). In other words, there is very often an emotional learning (schema / adaptation) underlying depression, and these can be discovered and worked with using Memory Reconsolidation... Hope that helps!
This is very helpful for porn and sex addiction.
I did memory reconsolidation on my own, without knowing what I was doing or what MR is, because I found out that the root of my fantasies when I wanted to hook up with random girls or watch porn, was a belief that was given to me during highschool, that the amount of sex I had was tied to my inherent self worth, and my strong urge to be accepted by peers, which at the time was immense, translated into a craving, to fill this void. And of course, I couldn't ever fill it, so I kept wanting more and more, which is what I called addiction.
But then I brought that memory and belief up, I felt the emotions of it... And changed the memory and belief.
Suddenly, the cravings vanished, even if I go and expose myself to it, I am not interested in fantasizing about it or hooking up with random girls... It happened so suddenly and it was like magic...
I talked about it with others that had the same issue, and imo this belief, given to young men during their teens, it is something widespread nowadays, that's why you have all of these redpill/incel/nofap communities , that's what they all have in common.
I have not actually commented on a UA-cam video before, but feel compelled to here. The information being presented here and in the other videos by Dr. Olds are incredibly helpful. I went through a divorce a couple of years ago which sent me on a self discovery journey I was not expecting. I found myself looking autism and then found myself looking into concepts of trust and then further into trauma and parts… and now I see an actual way to treat trauma and frameworks to think through these subjects. It is also frightening and I see how there is significant work to be done that is aside from intellectually understanding or being familiar. Thank you for the quality of the communication here.
You are amazing! The kind and compassionate way you explain things...it's not stone cold clinical but not airy fairy positive. It's clear and easy to absorb and understand. This is an incredible skill. Thank you for sharing the way you do.
Wow, thank you for that amazingly supportive comment!! I'm so glad you feel you can absorb the content through my teaching style. Yay ;)
@Happiness in Your Life AGREED! I keep ending up back on her videos because of this exact reason!! ❤
Yeah your tone of voice is very calming, and it also helps deliver useful and data-backed info
Very very true, based comment
Damn. Went to therapy over 5 years in my twenties. For years of SA as a child that left me with C-PTSD, major depression, and always suicidal to some degree. The therapist knew why I was there, everything I had been through… and still crossed serious lines multiple time- ethical and legal. I’m in my late 30s now and while I finally was able to improve some, this video here made me be able to put into words something I knew but could never really verbalize- that therapist made everything so much harder, so much worse, and now I can see why. If that therapist is “opening” these memories the NOT “updating” those schemas properly, even in fact confirming them by repeating that same kind of abuse… that’s like setting those schemas in Roman concrete. To be honest, I don’t think much of my distressing beliefs about people and the world ARE logically wrong, just that most people need to believe the world isn’t as dangerous or violent as it really is because they couldn’t cope if they faced it. Being older and wiser I am badly depressed less often, but more angry. I see that as massive progress though, since while anger has. It’s problems, its still a lot safer in all ways than depression. And anger is only happens when you blame others, and other are who deserve the blame in my situation, and it took me years to be able to feel that.
So beautifully clear & compassionately explained! Thank you Dr. Tori ❤.
I’ve been exploring, reading & healing for 30+ years - mostly on my own (Bradshaw’s family systems work & ACoA/Al-Anon early on) & sometimes with a therapist when I had insurance.money has always been a barrier to therapy for me.
I accidentally did what seems like memory reconsolidation (when my now-grown kids were 3 & 6) by catching myself while yelling in anger, stopping mid sentence, apologizing aloud immediately, & letting my kids know my angry outburst was wrong & not their fault. I then asked them for permission to try again to say it differently - usually something like “let’s get busy picking up the toys together so we can leave on time & not be late for school.” I was a stressed out mom!
In this process, my kids always accepted my apology, gave me permission to say it again differently, & the tone & everything shifted. I repeated this action every time I lost control with an angry outburst. Eventually, I would catch myself as the anger was rising up &!pause. I’d notice the feeling & reframe how I spoke to my kids - with kindness, not placing my anger on them.
Long & the short is that the anger completely stopped welling up & I purged myself of the desire to lash out at my innocent little children. It felt like a major miracle & I’ve never forgotten it. I’ve wanted to find ways to use this method to change other behaviors but I haven’t had people to engage with & to practice that with like I did with my kids.
I see now from hearing you, Dr. Tori, that this is work I would want to do with a trained therapist who knows memory reconsolidation. I’m currently seeing a therapist free of charge at the college where I’m attending paralegal classes (I’m 67 😉 & still learning). Sadly, this therapist isn’t familiar with memory reconsolidation. I’ve tried to find a therapist in my area who does have this knowledge, but have had no luck.
It would be great if there was a resource available to connect with therapists who are familiar with your work & with Bruce Esker’s teachings. Hopefully some might work on a sliding scale.
Thanks for any resources you might be able to offer & thank you for your amazing, compassionate videos, Dr. Tori 🙏♥️
The gentle demeanor and emotional intelligence you present is extremely comforting
you are kind of my caregiver that was missing when I was child.. you are the hope for me.. I thank you from the depest part of my heart..
This is life changing.
Many blessings for sharing such valuable information for free.🙏
I know I am super late for this but this is helping me because I have that same mindset so I make my brain believe it forgets how to do certain things and I also talk myself down so I struggle with self motivation so thank DR for these amazing videos!
Truly revolutionary. Without working with subconscious felt based belief, there's no real change in humanity. This is not just about "a change", this to me feels like a huge shift, a transformation. Thank you Dr. Olds.
Well said! And I truly appreciate your commenting here and on the other two videos! Thank you so much for your engagment and kind feedback!! I'll try to get back for making more videos in a few months! Lots more to share! ;)
@@DrToriOlds You're welcome. I'm looking forward Dr. :)
The greatest incomparable gift to the psychiatric, therapy and teaching is Dr. Tori Olds, the world ,clients,and students are bettered by her work and her kind sincere engagement.
Awe, Michelle. You're the best. Love you...
Love your channel. I hope it grows. This video actually explained a recent experience of mine, where i was able to do exactly that. I struggle with a anxiety disorder and figured out what core belief is behind the fear. I then proved to myself that it is untrue, while i was in the state of strong anxiety. It was relative easy, because it was the belief that i am dumb and i made an iq test. But it was a very strong and liberating experience. After i was surprised, that it really changed the anxiety attacks in certain situations, without me having to constantly reafirm myself. I am glad i found a explanation and i hope i can utilize it in other cases.
Late to the thread here, but a huge thank you for putting to words some of the bits and pieces of concepts I've found along my personal path of healing but haven't had words for. The world owes it to those of you dedicating your lives to these studies.
I also wanna thank you for your service. the way you explain is very clear, simple and inspires compassion without it being a religious commandment. thanks ❤
Yes! Thank you for clearly putting into words the things I implicitly (hah!) learned after decades of failed therapy. I am convinced this is the reason why CBT does not work for (most) people suffering from CPTSD, and can in fact harm, dysregulate, and traumatize further. Cognitively brute forcing your way through nervous system (over)activation and deeply wired trauma responses is not sustainable or even possible in many cases. I wish more therapists were aware of this, it would have saved me decades of suffering and iatrogenic trauma. Thank you for being part of this growing movement and spreading this knowledge!
These videos are fantastic and so clearly explained. Thank you.
Glad you like them! 🧡
Thank you. These are THE BEST videos online about Memory Reconsolidating; more people need to know about these.
Thanks for saying so! And yes, I would love to have any help you can give in sharing them!! ;)
You are a kind and gentle lady. Thank you for taking the time to compose these wonderful videos. You are very much appreciated.
Nicely done. I am just learning about this form of therapy.
Thank you so much Dr. Tori. I've been on a journey (ifs and psychedelics); I discovered your channel a few days ago and am so grateful for your voice, cadence, unpretentiousness, and complete information. I discover so much more with your style!!! Note: I was triggered by the date you posted this video because it was 12 days before my major trauma. I hope you know how you make such a difference in peoples lives! Thank you for sharing and being part of the psychological renaissance you mentioned!!!
I’m just blown away by all your videos! Like seriously blown away! You are awesome! Thank you!
Really great stuff. Gently updating the core, suboptimal, harming beliefs. Sounds very similar to exposure and/or CBT to me, too
I loved the examples Dr Olds gave later in the video (10:00ish) because it showed us how to apply these techniques
It would be even more helpful to have a daily set of steps / ritual to go through to actually reconsolidate a common memory that most patients struggle with; you gave the sharing your emotions example, but more steps from start to finish would be awesome!!
As usual, Dr. Olds' advice and explanations come from professional experience applying these techniques, and data-backed research papers that have been successful at helping patients
Dr. Tori Olds I want to express a pure love and gratitude for you making these amazing educational video. And express how much it has transformed the way I relate to myself to others and my internal landscape. I’ve finally at 28 been able to accept I need help and to start therapy which was very intimidating for me. I want to thank you and your part in it all !❤
It is amazing and gives so much hope. It also explains how manipulation works in reverse mode. How even evidence don't change some people, only causes temporary confusion. If someone doesn't like the evidence, if they don't benefit emotionally or financially, new evidence stops them for a little until they gather/ make up excuses or information to reinforce the old view that they don't want to let go. Self-deception falls into this behavior too.
We live in an exiting time. Humanity needs tools to heal traumas, so we don't destroy each other and our environment. It is painful time because growing is painful. Looking into mirrors can be painful. If there is no willingness to take up that pain, if the comfort of not changing is valued more: no betterment of our world is possible.
Also: that is why gaslighting is so mentally exhausting and can drive people crazy. When a predator is enjoying hurting their victim, when they enjoy the confusion, the victim's mental abuse is playing with her basic survival processes. In a level that is not even in her hand because it is wired so deeply, it is evolutionary so important, it is about survival.
At one time, I was gaslighted and two versions of reality were presented at the same time. Although I did wanted to find the truth with the full commitment to handle the truth, my mind felt extremely messed up. I even felt nauseous and somewhat like they spun me around. At night, when my mind still wanted to come up with a coherent story, I was grinding my teeth. I was so surprised in the morning when I didn't understand why I have sand grains on my tongue. It took me a couple of seconds to realize: that is actually the top of my teeth.
Mental abuse is powerful, painful and deep. On top of it: nobody takes it seriously because it is not the same as a big, gaping, bleeding wound. To suffer alone without any other human's care and warmth is pretty awful.
So true about that kind of abuse... I hear you. I too understand. We are blessed to have been able to escape from that hell. 🌟
Just kinda had an emotional release because I connected soo well to this!!! Thank you soo much for the work you do because you’re saving lives!!! ❤️🔥
Oh, that’s great to hear! Thanks Micah! :)
This paradigm shift has not yet happened.
"The heart doesn't always know what the head knows."
"My cognitive acknowledgement doesn't mean I've taken it to heart."
"In order to heal old wounds, you must first reopen them."
"This body is nothing more than a biological meat-machine that runs experiential programming."
"Reprogramming a behavior rooted in memory requires an experience at least as profound as the memory."
"Overwriting scars."
I've been toying with this concept for years now, saying things like those. The topics on this channel are uncannily analogous. I'm a computer programmer, and amateur behavioral psychologist with a special interest in trauma and neurodivergence. I recently found myself overtaken with the idea that there are "many me's", I found that the way I would disclose my "current mind" to others (my "current headspace", how long it takes to "change my headgears", that "I am in work-mode and can't take your words to heart at this moment", or that "The mode my head is in right now is unable to play guitar very well at all, I'll need a few drinks to let my emotional side come out", etc) is incredibly analogous to D.I.D, in that "changing headgears" was analogous to "switching", or that being unable to pull myself out of an age regressive state is like being "front stuck", etc, except that my headspaces are all "logically co-conscious, but not emotionally co-conscious." Like, "I know I'll feel an emotion about X later when I'm no longer in this dissociative state." I subsequently began talking about this rather publicly, and I was then recommended to look into IFS, which is far, far more descriptive of my perspective of my own behaviors and the "many me's" thing. The "memory reconsolidation" reverberates to me all of my language about my meatmachine hypothesis, the lack of free will (eg, self-sabotage, different "me's" having different ideals/goals/desires, inability to simply will permanent change in my own behavior), etc. It also subsequently transformed into more of a philosophy full of paradox (eg, we only behave as we are experientially programmed to, therefore I cannot reasonably judge others for their behaviors, and yet I still do because I am programmed to do so), that simply being cognizant of something doesn't mean it has been taken to heart -> internalized -> incorporated into my behavior and treatment of others, but that continuing to be cognizant long-term would result in slow gradual change (CBT, I suppose). That personal CBT-esque idea thus extends not to one's self, but in how others are conditioned over time to behave as a result of how I treat them, and so on. Thus, it became more of a philosophy and more of a secular and psychological personal religion/spirituality with one main underlying morality that admittedly is very jesus-esque: "Treat others how you would prefer to be treated", because behavior is viral, behavior spreads, and kindness spreads. That spirituality - being based largely on the premise that we are all merely meat-machines - also implicitly expands into a pantheistic perspective - that human neurological processes - and as such, human psychological behavior - operates on the same fundamental laws of classical physics: actions and reactions, a need for homeostasis, a mental balance, "As above, so below. As below, so above." That as a physical and biological machine programmed through our experiences of others, that all societies themselves are also emergent machines, working together to build, survive, etc, and yet also harm itself; and yet through that harm, there is a balance, a silver-lining, and in the case of trauma, that silver lining is often an inescapable drive to become self-aware enough, forced to become emotionally intelligent enough, to work through that trauma and use that gained wisdom to understand our own psychology and to help others. That there truly is a reason for everything, even if it may not be pre-determined, that reason may be as simple as cause-and-effect. That we are all one. That we all have purpose. And that nothing we could ever do could possibly take that purpose away from us. And despite that some of our existences are horrendously painful, the only miraculous thing about any of this is that we have the ability to experience it, to be self-aware. That self-awareness itself is the way to reprogram ourselves, and therein lies our freedom of will, yet which could not have come about if trauma did not exist. That is the inevitable mathematical solution to the problem of the imbalance of trauma: free will. One doesn't exist without the other, just the same as there is no cold without hot, no up without down, no inside without outside, no good without evil; these are merely the opposite ends of the same corresponding scales. It is no wonder at all that therapists so often become therapists due to their own personal traumas. To have problems is to inevitably seek solutions.
How did you come to work so closely with IFS and memory re-consolidation?
Thank you for putting me on to Bruce Ecker with this video, and the Parts video. This process is very much what we use in Hypnotherapy (my training is 5PATH) with age regression, forgiveness work and parts work. It’s good to have the neurological research and language to back up our work.
Oh great!! Yeah, it's all so connected and so fun to explore different ways of approaching this stuff! Glad you enjoyed ;)
I love the way you explain things, with such warmth. I feel deeply understood and that relaxes me a ton. Thank you so much
Awesome. Thanks.
thanks 💚
Fantastic video! The changing of implicit memory and production of transformational change ❤❤❤
This is a very clear presentation about memory reconsolidation. Thank you!
henk hermans I agree. These are a goldmine!
@@77dris Thank you both!!
I love how I feel hopeful after all your videos 🥰
you are a natural teacher
This video is more helpful to more people than is probably communicated to you. So I thought you should know that.
Wow, thanks so much for letting me know! It does mean a lot to hear that, so I appreciate your taking the time to write... :)
Such a useful series, Dr. Tori :) Landed on these while I was looking for videos to support learning for my students (We are learning about Cognitive Psychology) and now I am hooked. Thank you so much!
As a practicing Therapist, this is like landing on a Gold Mine :D
Awe, that's nice to hear!! Thanks!! Next time you are in need of some online CEU's, you might enjoy looking into one of my 'deeper dive' courses for therapists (toriolds.com/ceus-for-therapists/). There's even an ethics one (around trauma).
Thanks again for leaving a comment and so glad to hear you are finding the content interesting!! :)
Thank you Tori for sharing your knowledge with such clarity.
Your video was great, you have gained a new subscriber.
Thank you Dr. Tori
I really wish I had a therapist
Thank you for that video! Really helpful and insightful !
Brilliant. I love your style of explanation. Thanks
Excellent video for therapists and clients. Will pass it on
Thanks again Rhonda!! It would mean a lot if you passed it along!!! I want to spread the word about these topics!! :)
this is amazzziiiinggggg!!!
this is indeed useful, i hope there is more like this quality
Question 🙋🏻♂️
You said that there is a five hour window for “updates and tweaks” to the original schema….how many times can the memory be opened and reconsolidated? What if the memory for the client is to horrific? Wouldn’t that be more damaging in the long run?
Absolutely LOVE your work and videos, NGL your videos have encouraged me to look into becoming a therapist :)
Amazing! you deliver so clearly and you inspire
Thank you for this
Loving your channel Tori, I hope you keep it up
Hey I done this to work through misconception of my past that played an effect on my every day life. Great explaination
Wonderful! And thanks for the comment! :)
Hello, I'm very new to coherence therapy and see mixed reactions on the web.
This video of yours is 4 years old; have you used Coherence Therapy a lot in your practice in those intervening years? Is your experience as glowing as Ecker's presentations? Like all the symptoms go away?
Thanks for your clarity, gentleness, and great examples.
Cheers to you,
Richard
Wow this is amazing. Makes so much sense
Well done
Beautiful work, Dr. Olds!
Thank you, Dr. Stan Tatkin!! :) Ha! I feel famous that you posted on my channel! I'm sure I'll be referencing your work quite a bit on this channel, so I'm glad you are here! Always nice to have an old mentor notice you! Sending love your way... ;)
Really enjoying these videos. Thank you
Glad you like them! Thanks for saying so! :)
Excellent video ❤️❤️
Fantastic explanation!!
Thanks so much Silvania! I really appreciate your taking time to leave a nice comment! :)
thanks for sharing this knowledge
Thanks for the nice comment, Rodrigo!! :)
Thank you very much for a very clear and concise explanation of memory reconsolidation :)
Thank you!!!
Soo good! Thank you!! I will share this. I am a firm believer in the coherence work.
Thanks so much for the kind response!! I would love if you were willing to pass along!! I don't really know how to spread the word on things, so any help would be much appreciated ;) Glad you enjoyed!!
Really great presentation! I just want to say that I, and others, practice a form of psychotherapy called the Pesso Boyden System Psychomotor (PBSP, named after it's inventors, Albert Pesson and his wife, Diane Boyden Peso) that has been operating with these principles of memory reconsolidation since the 1960"s. I'm pleased that the memory reconsolidation model is becoming widespread!
That's really neat! Thanks for mentioning that, and for leaving the kind comment!! :)
Are you familiar with the work of Eugene Gendlin? He and his colleague had discovered essentially the same thing by analyzing the work of many psychotherapists. I wonder if they did it before Bruce Ecker did.
The process he developed is called Focusing. Here's an excerpt from Wikipedia:
"Focusing is an internally oriented psychotherapeutic process developed by psychotherapist Eugene Gendlin. It can be used in any kind of therapeutic situation, including peer-to-peer sessions. It involves holding a specific kind of open, non-judging attention to an internal knowing which is experienced but is not yet in words. Focusing can, among other things, be used to become clear on what one feels or wants, to obtain new insights about one's situation, and to stimulate change or healing of the situation.[1] Focusing is set apart from other methods of inner awareness by three qualities: something called the "felt sense", a quality of engaged accepting attention, and a researched-based technique that facilitates change."
I think I heard about her speaking about focusing before
amazing! thank you
Dr Olds, what you are describing is what the Lefkoe Institute has been doing for 30 years. It is quick and effective and it has changed my life.
Oh, I'm so glad it has changed your life!! Thanks for the comment! :)
thanks for the video
You’re welcome!!
Great video! could you name some of the most revelant authors currently doing research on this topic please? Thank you and congratulations!
For memory reconsolidation specifically geared towards attachment, I highly recommend checking out the three pillar model/ IPF (ideal parent figure) protocol designed by Dan Brown and David Elliot for healing attachment disturbances in adults, if that’s something you’re interested in.
Excited to learn more. I'm curious what techniques are used to trigger the old implicit memories? What if you have a hard time feeling emotion?
Great question! There are actually endless ways you can become aware of old schemas that live in implicit memory. Yes, sometimes these layers of our self are what you might think of as 'repressed'--meaning that we learned it wasn't safe to have that information because someone else in our life couldn't handle it (which may relate to your not feeling much--but more on that in a sec)...but although our implicit mind CAN be repressed, this type of implicit learning is also just naturally wired to be non-conscious (because it doesn't need to be conscious, so the mind doesn't want to spend energy tracking it). But, strangely enough when we simply ask the brain for the information--in other words when we turn our awareness inward and look for information about ourselves--the brain is perfectly able to collect that information for us and translate it into words (although usually it goes through less verbal means first, like images, metaphor, gut sense, impulse, body sensation, etc.). One way to move it into words more quickly is to do sentence completions around whatever behavior we are curious about, like "I must have a drink right now because if I don't..." and see what the unconscious mind has to say about it. It's like it almost can't help but complete the sentence. Seeing aspects of ourselves as a 'part' of us, and then asking that part whatever we want to know, can also be really helpful. Or journaling and just seeing what comes out. Just like anything, our mind needs a second to figure it out (like it would to figure anything out), the problem is we usually don't give it that time. We don't turn our focus toward ourself, so the brain doesn't even have a chance to figure out how it is wired. In terms of the emotion question--yeah...you are not alone. While we can learn to ignore any part of ourselves, emotion is the most common because so many people had parents that either ignored or couldn't handle their kids feelings (or we had some other experience that taught us to get in the habit of ignoring our emotions). Luckily you don't have to be able to feel in order to explore WHY you don't want to feel. Just start imagining yourself having emotion, or expressing emotion to someone, and notice the anxiety that comes up. And then ask that part what it is afraid of. Or do the sentence completion example, like "I better never let myself feel like that with someone, because if I do..." etc. And that way you can get the information about WHY you don't feel--without having to actually know how to access your inner emotions. Of course, if you can work through whatever concerns come up, then it might be easier in the future to know what you feel!! Hope that's helpful!!:) (Oh, and the video after this one does go into some of this, if that's helpful...) tori
Sounds like ART?!
Great video. Very clearly presented.
Thank you kindly! :)
I love this explanation. May I use this video on my website for educational purposes?
This is incredibly helpful, Dr. Olds. My only issue is that I'm 58 and I have a really hard time remembering specific incidents from childhood. Are there ways to remember some incidents so that I can uncover these schemas and is it possible to do this on your own? Do you recommend guided meditations or journaling to bring them out? I wish you''d consider creating a guided meditation. You have a soothing voice for sure. Thank you for these amazing videos!!
Hey Jeff!
Sorry, I thought I had responded to this question when you wrote it. I guess not! Well, luckily when we are working with implicit memory, that is really not dependent on remembering explicit events. It is more about noticing patterns in what we LEARNED through those events about the nature of reality...what to expect, how to respond, etc. So we can see those patterns of learning and conditioning in our current behavior or emotional reactions. Then we simply need to search inside to discover what we can feel out related to what we believe. It's funny because we are used to 'feeling' emotions, but this is kind of like 'feeling' or 'sensing into' our beliefs. It's different than rationally thinking about what we probably believe...it is sensing inside to discover what 'feels' true. So it takes some mindfulness, or yes, you could use journaling, or other ways of exploring what is underneath. Whatever works for you. Either way, instead of looking for 'what happened', instead ask inside 'what feels true?' Like if you have a part of you that is hard on yourself, you might picture that part and ask it "what are you afraid would happen if you stopped by hard on me?" Or you could even do a sentence completion where you just ask yourself 10 times in a row to finish the sentence: "I must be hard on myself, because if I'm not ____". You're really asking your mind to speak to you about it's inner, unconscious reality so that you can open up that early learning and see if eventually it can be updated with new information.
Hope that helps!
Take care! Tori
@@DrToriOlds amazing
Do you have a book about this ? I would love to look into it, I am studying psychology and we learn about this in memory and perception but not in the same way that a clinical psychologist can explain it.
@@DrToriOlds thank you so much for your work here. I second this commentor's request for a guided meditation!
I am just finishing up an undergrad in counseling, and moving on to masters studies next year. What advice do you have for would-be counselors like myself?
J C you could also use a gestalt technique chair work and the schemas and coping modes would come out through that work without needing to know the specific memories
You’re great!❤❤❤
Fatntastic presentation style!😊
How to do Reactivation? is there some more information I can read\watch on it?
This is a very clear explanation. Thank yiu Robert Morecook PHD psychologist
Appreciate you, Dr. Olds. Thank you for this video. :)
Thanks Scott!! Love seeing your name and face here!! ;)
"Opening neural networks for relearning" only matters if the client actually has a different reality to learn different things from. Leaking through is the assumption that the client's view of reality is distorted and that they just need to be somehow conned into fixing it.
How do you prevent emotional flooding in reactivation?
Wow, really well explained and somehow entertaining as well, thanks a lot :)
Haha!! Glad you liked it! And thanks so much for posting such a nice comment!! ;)
This is an amazing video and makes so much sense on why i have certain trust issues in relationships that follow me regardless. What are ways to reactivate the experience and change the belief patterns. it seems the only way would be to trust my partner to not hurt me/do things that have happened before that i lack trust in and have my partner validate me in those times. however, i feel that if i am hurt and proved wrong again it will only strengthen that irrational predictive model. how can i use this in relationships & change belief patterns with new experiences without depending on someone else to change my belief systems and have the patterns be solidified through my own work?
Yeah, it’s a great question. First it is important to get as specific as possible as to what we unconsciously believe. Not just that “I’ll probably get hurt”, but really what exactly do I believe? Because it is in the specifics that we can usually find the disconfirm. Is the belief an overgeneralization? (No one in this world can be trusted…), or is it about the consequences of getting hurt (I can’t handle disappointment-or others can’t handle me being hurt and disappointed-so I must avoid it urgently), etc. Our beliefs are highly specific and we need to ask internally or deeply explore (maybe through parts work), to find the exact words that fit. Then it is easier to notice the ways those words aren’t exactly true. Like knowing your partner might occasionally disappoint (and that you can handle some emotions around that-and that humans are capable of repairing and growing together, etc) is different than what the schema might believe.
Hope that helps!
@@DrToriOlds Thank you for that answer and I have a refinement on the question... I can see how I could "disprove" the schema that "I am unlovable" with new information, but what if my schema seems like it is "If I'm utterly myself and vulnerable with someone I trust they could be overwhelmed and abandon me". This relates to adult relational trauma - not something experienced in childhood. To me that schema sounds specific like what you are asking for, and yet my brain knows that I can never disprove that! Can you add some more insight about this? Thank you!
Starts at. 7:33
wow! awesome! now I know what I am going through))
Good to hear!
Do you have any thoughts on Brunet's method? Im starting this week, using beta blockers to help the brain reconsolidate with out the bodily effects from the trauma.
I am curious about the statement, "Memories exist in a neural network or pattern." This is something I have heard before. Axons, dendrites, and neurons do form patterns when stimulated. However, the patterns are not fixed and dissipate when the stimulation ceases. When the stimulation stops, the axions move to other interesting sites, the dendrites accept new axions, and the pattern dissolves.
The dissolving of the pattern has led to the assumption in "Memory Consolidation theory" that there is a "Memory Trace." The memory trace is said to be the process whereby the brain keeps track of all of the patterns of axions, dendrites, and neurons, signaling them to reassemble into the pattern developed initially. This mechanism is not well defined, and its location is unknown.
When dendrites and axons are inactive for some period of time, the brain has a process called "pruning and trimming." The inactive connections are pruned and trimmed out by the brain to make room for more active connections. This is related to the brain's neuroplasticity. If patterns were formed permanently as memories and the memories were inactive for some time, as in long-term memory, the brain would prune the connections out and destroy any patterns that could be reformed.
We have trillions of memories, and we make new ones every moment. The older we are, the more memories we have. How does the brain know which ones to throw out or keep? Notwithstanding all of the connections of neurons in the brain, if all our memories were permanent patterns, the brain would be filled, and we would experience gridlock in our brain.
So, where are the memories? We have struggled to find one memory in the physical brain, and we have not found one yet. So, where are they?
There is no current theory on how memories are created, how they are stored, where they are stored, how they are recalled, and then restored or reconsolidated that will pass Occam's razor. The most curious question is, where are our memories? We have so many memories, yet we can't find one in the brain.
Memories are changing all the time. They are in a balanced matrix; when one memory is changed, the whole matrix must be rebalanced, shifting and changing many other memories. Memories build on each other, and none stand alone.
The video sounds great, but it seems to have feet of clay.
Mike
Ty
This sounds like such a powerful type of therapy. How can I start this kind of therapy? I have severe PTSD and I think this could be useful for me.
Gosh, that's such a great question. The basic process I talk about in the video is more an underlying mechanism of change rather than a specific type of therapy. That being said, there are many forms of therapy that are more likely to achieve this progression of experience (accessing the original belief / schema / neural net / 'part', there is different language for it), and then providing a new experience that updates the information stored there. Coherence Therapy does this very explicitly, though is harder to find. One therapy I think that does this work quite beautifully and is actually more accessible is Internal Family Systems (IFS). So you might start there. Somatic Experiencing, Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, even EMDR (which is definitely easy to find), also can achieve this progression. The biggest problem is just finding a therapist who is skilled enough to use the model they ascribe to effectively enough to actually 'go as deep' as is necessary. So the skill of the therapist is also important (I'm sorry to say).
Morven Surmon (Google) offers this therapy ( Core beliefs, coherence, Parts (like IFS) and memory reconsolidation.
Hello Dr. Olds. Your presentation here is like a four course meal served on fine china! Thanks. You refer to Dan Siegel in another video I watched. He promotes creating a “coherent narrative” as a method of integration and change for those who have non-secure attachment histories. He and Dr. Lisa Firestone created an online course to guide a person through creating a coherent narrative (I purchased the course but have not gone all the way trough it). Would you say Dr. Siegel’s approach (assuming you know about his work in this area) is incremental or transformational?
Great question! Yes, i am very familiar with Dr. Siegel’s work and love it! So the answer most likely is that the process of developing a coherent narrative might at times work to create incremental change, and at other transformational change. And both are wonderful! Incremental would be like having a daily mindfulness practice and slowly allowing information in the brain to flow in a new way (through “snagging” the brain, to use siegels language). Reflecting on one’s life would have a similar effect, slowly allowing new neurons to grow and new connections to be made (more integration...both in terms of brain regions as well as the way the memories themselves are stored). At the same time, it is not uncommon during that work for a person to become aware of a scheme that they hold, and in the process perhaps have a disconfirm. For instance most of us have some sort of schema that our inner world is unknowable, unapproachable, dangerous, shameful, etc. So if we hit against this belief as we go deeper, but then have a clear experience of not being overwhelmed by our inner world (or finding anything shameful there or it not making any sense, or whatever), then a disconfirm is likely to happen.
So the bottom line is that either is likely, but it will vary from person to person! I don’t think this type of work is specifically designed around creating disconfirms the way coherence therapy is, but i believe they are part of what make it profound (along with some wonderful incremental change as well).
Hope that’s helpful!! Thanks for asking!!
Oops...meant to say “schema” not “scheme” :)
Where can i receive this form of therapy as a patient? Can’t seem to find anyone
Are the other chapters under the same title?
Thanks buddy
I have severe chronic fatigue, ehlers danlos - pain fatigue etc etc. Do you have a course that helps rewire the brain or help me?
Is Schema therapy enfolded in Coherence Therapy....are they distinct as I just discovered Schema Therapy recently...I'm guessing Coherence is a more advanced and deeper type of therapy than Schema ?
How would you apply this to an implicit belief system? Seems like they work quite similarly.
ok. i'm halfway through and i'm thinking maybe i didn't hear correctly what i heard since it's about 1am and i should be sleeping. if i did hear what i've heard...WHOA!!!!!!!
comment to be continued at some point ...
Well? Update??? I'm dying to know
Yes
I tend to forget everything in indirect way, it’s like I’m doing it intentionally but I don’t mean it, idk how
But what ik is that I started to do that in my childhood to run away from my reality and then I realized that i started to do it whenever i catch feelings for any person (a friend or a partner) i run away from making good memories with them and i tend to forget the already made ones with them..
It’s an endless struggle that is causing me to lose my whole life, like rn I’m typing this while I can’t remember any of yesterday’s event.
Idk what to do, I would appreciate any advice you can give.
I know it can be difficult to find the right fit in terms of therapists, but I encourage you to do your best in the search, until you find someone who might be able to help you walk through the issues coming up. It's hard to do it alone...
In example in 9”: what if child’s belief was: I may not be safe if I share my feelings, it depends with whom I share them. I trust some, I mistrust some.
What would be mismatching experience?
I’ve identified my schemas and “reopened” memories… how am I meant to disconfirm or update them? They remain the same.
you have a soothing nature ، sometimes its hard for me to hear this type of videos , what re consolidation mean ?
Reconsolidation means when a memory is consolidated (put back into a long-term format) for a SECOND (or third, etc.) time. In other words, we are looking at how you can sort of 'open up' old memories (that have already been consolidated or stabilized into long-term memory), and shift them before they once again become stable. That way our implicit memory can change what it unconsciously learned about how to respond to things...Hope that helps!
I'm confused. When I think of the actual traumatic memory, I can't actually get a felt sense. It's cognitive. So I'm not sure how to reconsolidate the memory. I get the felt sense of the memory during specific moments, when I'm going through a depressive episode, I'm stressed, things are going wrong, and the negative beliefs about myself surface. THEN it is felt, along with the corresponding schema and beliefs about myself. So what do I do when that happens?
Can this be a treatment for depression?
Please tell me
Yes, for sure. Hopefully soon I'll be making a video on some of the underlying roots of depression from this lens. For instance, depression might be a learned response to 'protect' us from some other emotion that we were punished for (like our anger), or even to mute out our deeper grief, or as a by-product of some other coping strategy (like if we have emotionally learned it is not safe to connect, we could end up feeling lonely and therefore depressed). In other words, there is very often an emotional learning (schema / adaptation) underlying depression, and these can be discovered and worked with using Memory Reconsolidation... Hope that helps!
@@DrToriOlds very interesting topic