I am the depressed spouse and god I just want to be happy again and helpful. I hate the person I have become. I hate how we are hurting each other. I want to be better.
I continuously push my boyfriend away and when I can see he's had enough of it I want more than nothing to have the happy us back but I've pushed too far and it's going to take time for him to heal from my aggressions. I don't know how to end this cycle. I don't want to lose him because of it. I'm afraid I might this time though
@@maddiesmith2479 I'm going through the same thing right now... I feel like I might die if he leaves me, because I really don't have anything to look forward to anymore..
I dont know what you're going trough or what youre feeling specifically but something ive foud useful in communicating is to not be agrqid of what others might say. Try to remember that they love you an hearing what's going wrong is another step in finding solutions to get better ❤
I used to be the most optimistic upbeat person and ive been married to a depressed spouse for 8 years now. I'm a different person now. I can't do it anymore. I'm completely burnt out.
Communicate… the people in this video are talking about their others and not to them. You fell in love for a reason and got married for a reason. I’m sure your significant other would give anything in the world to be able to be able to talk to you. A third person can be extremely helpful. I’m praying for both of you and I hope no more heart break comes either one of your ways:(
Be aware that if you are officially diagnosed with depression (a classified mental illness) you can be denied insurance coverage or be charged a substantially higher premium. I'm referring to how this is handled in the American health insurance industry
health insurance companies are the worst problem with US healthcare, in fact the health insurance "industry" or lobby, is probably the single biggest problem.
This helps so much! My bf for 10 months lost his job and is depressed and our relationship has gone downhill & I thought he wasn’t interested in me anymore but couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t break up with me. He’d isolate and we barely speak I mean we talk but it’s like he wants to hold on to me but we don’t see each other bc he’s iritable or sick - he’s ALWAYS sick! Also everything is my fault which is rediculous. I stay bc before this we had plans for marriage. A job loss is situational. This video at least let’s me know it’s not actually me. Thank you
I stopped caring completely and started taking care of myself. He texts me all day, wants to meet up all the time. Ladies, care about yourself first. Take care of yourself. At the end of the day we can only control ourselves
It’s been two years of this. He has effectively abandoned me in every way. I can’t do this anymore. I’m starting to hate him because he won’t get help and is willing to sacrifice our marriage instead.
I lost the love of my life to depression. I don’t blame her. I was mean. No libido. No motivation. We didn’t know what was wrong with me. I was no longer the person she fell in love with. Luckily I only have situational depression and it’s almost completely gone. I feel great now but Jesus it was so scary.
It is very very frustating and draining at the same time if your spouse has depression..because we love the person and we also know that they love us but the fact is that these persons with depression start to have mood swings...and they will be miserable most of time even a slight issue can make them sad and overthink..but the fact is that upto what level the other partner can help ..he/she start draining their energy in the relationship...and there is noone that much mean there not wanting to help our own spouse ...but the fact is that we ourselves start feeling depressed and sad because of there habits and slowly slowly these people start to kill our happiness/optimism and we become so helpless that we can't even neglect the person and at same time can't love them there is loss of libido in almost 90 percent depressed people ..we ourselves start to doubt on us that are we mean thinking about their libido and all ..but no ..we can't be wrong because these people with depression start to drain you in every aspect that you just get frustated that what's happening with my life ...I can't live without you, you are only good thing happened to me these phrases start to take all the happiness and we also start getting depressed with that person...these people with depression will never think that we are in their favour unless we start to talking to them in their depressive launguage ..they will only be satisfied with thought that we also feel the same as they do ..in a way they want us to get depressed..they will do everything to show that they want us to keep going in our career but deep down they has this constant insecurity.. there's not their problem may be but yes it is very very draining to be in relationship with depressed person
No need to feel guilty...I have faced the same .....we start getting depressed with person in Depression they will drain your whole energy and at the end we will be doubting ourselves are we mean or were we a good spouse ? Even we knew all the fact that either we had died because of depression or the relationship not working well due to their behaviour
I speak through experience. I wish I made a different decision. Get some help for yourself, if you are the caregiver of someone with chronic mental illness. It is so draining to be on the other side of it
This is the best advise. But people are saying so mean things about who is depressed. Seems they don't understand that this terrible illnes change us and everyday we fight to be better, we feel guilty about being ill.
i was recently diagnosed with depression and it seems like my lack of social skills and my extreme decline in energy and happiness after vistinf my dad has affected the way me and my boyfriend interact. last night, we had our breaking point and everything he had felt about me and the stuff i did and didnt do came out. i almost lost him. but i told him to give me time to get better, because i want to get better so badly. im in therapy, found God, im writing in a journal and just writing in general. im doing self care and im doing everything i can to feel better. he stood with me, thank fully. and im so thankful for the second chance God has granted me. i will strive to find happiness everyday. lol update, he broke up with me over 2 months ago because of my depression 😂😂 (im good tho) anb who went thru the same thing tho just stay strong, focus on loving yourself and knowing your worth. YOU DESERVE LOVE !!!!!! 💖💖💖
Yeah, experienced this myself. Was married 6 years. Was always wondering about the behavior of my ex at some times, didn't really understand, what's going on with her or what was wrong and why she couldn't be satisfied with the good life we lifed. Tried to be the best and understanding und caring husband in could be doing everything in could, to make her happy or live easier und better for her. Slowly giving myself up and burning myself out. But it was never enough Titel satisfy her, cause due to the Depressions she wanted always more and more. More attention, more activity, more money and so on. And if something didn't went like she wanted -always argueing dramatic about anything -didn't matter how meaningless or small the topic was. Didn't matter for her, saw always her Personal wishes and wantings. Things got out of Hand and much worse, due a death in her family, Corona, pregnancy and life became much harder, burning myself out much more. Tried the Daily fight for this relationship up, because if our little sunshine-daughter and false hopes. But at some point, i understood, this isn't the person in Fell in love with and it will never again be, this marriage and her abusive behaviors made me kinda sick at some times. So i left her, it was the best decision since years i made. Was relieved from the first day and got happier every day and was enjoying life and myself again due to the circumstances. Will never regret this decision.
impressive ! i think no ne expected that result in this video . but still i heard of some products for example natural drops spanish fly which boost your energy and relieve stress and depression
I've been on and off depression since 2010. Now, with my 2yo relationship I'm seeing getting better, yet I see myself putting to emotional weight on her by venting my feelings...she has transformed slowly in to my therapist.
I recently lost my dad, didn’t do well in exam, trying best to adjust in a new country,living without my family. I'm trying my best to keep the balance but am so stressed that i totally lost interest in sex. While it's totally opposite in my husband, he doesnt really seem to get my problem, my loneliness and my lack of interests in everything. I am continuously refusing having sex cause i totally don't enjoy it at all,and my husband is making it worse. I am feeling so suffocated and lonely and helpless.
It's to the point where nothing is working and nothing is bringing him any joy whatsoever. Every year that goes by is getting worse and he does not want to get help or treatment. I don't know what else to do at this point.
As a depression and have really bad mentally fucked up person just want to get help and get better, just leave him because he'll drain you in many ways and end up you'll be the one like him unfortunately
ALWAYS ASK FOR HELP, I never use to ask for help bc i was raised by a MARINE pull yourself up by your own boot straps family who had a bankruptcy once. But i was Crippled in an accident.
It's not easy to walk alongside someone with chronic depression. If it's right for you to stay in the relationship, seek out support. Taking care of yourself is so important. If family and friends aren't supportive, look up NAMI support groups that are available online and all over the US. I haven't reached the point of needing to leave my relationship. It's been a lot of years, and it's hard not knowing if his health will significantly improve. Getting help for myself has made it possible to hang in. But, I have had many moments of doubt along the way. Be kind to yourself, even if your choice must be a different one than mine. You are not a bad person for learning and honoring your limits and needs. Wishing you the best.
i a wife but not mental health nurse..people with mental health issues firstly need to want to help themselves and not to blame others in their issues. I am sick of it
@George King heartless person? If you get depression the only person who can help you - you. Noone has to suffer from someone's health condition. I bet you are from Australia UK or USA. Have real problems in life then you won't have time for depression
I'm depressed and have suicidal thoughts and I'm not going to let anyone know because they discharge you from the military for this. Sorry but if you are depressed your best bet is to not say a word, they pretend to help you but they financially screw you over. Therefore you fall back in stress and depression.
How are you B W? You matter and a stranger can be your outlet. Be kind to yourself during those hard days meaning take it one hour at a time. Do alot of deep breathing if you get anxious. Keep at it as it really works after a while. Go somewhere private and have a good cry or write down how you are feeling and don't worry about correct grammar or perfect sentences just let it out on paper. These are some of the things that help me through my shitty days. Those who don't struggle with depression can't understand what it feels like. I keep quiet now and keep to myself so as not to ruin any more relationships. The clouds do lift eventually and sunny days are ahead. You can do this and you are not alone.
What normal human being can not be depressed living with a woman: negative, carping, manipulative, demanding, greedy, conniving, and controlling. You wind up living in HER house, walking on eggshells for fear you might say or do something that she "just can't stand anymore" so she gets a lawyer to extract your assets, money, house, kids who she turns against you, reputation, and if she can your freedom. Why NOT be depressed???
What if you are the woman in the depressed situation. I have a wonderful man in my life! Sometimes my depression gets in the way of our relationship but we find ways to overcome it. You sound like someone who has been hurt by a woman before. I think it is a very one sided opinion you are coming from.
being around a person like this becomes completely exhausting, and insufferable over time.
Imagine being the one living with it.
I am the depressed spouse and god I just want to be happy again and helpful. I hate the person I have become. I hate how we are hurting each other. I want to be better.
I continuously push my boyfriend away and when I can see he's had enough of it I want more than nothing to have the happy us back but I've pushed too far and it's going to take time for him to heal from my aggressions. I don't know how to end this cycle. I don't want to lose him because of it. I'm afraid I might this time though
@@maddiesmith2479 I'm going through the same thing right now... I feel like I might die if he leaves me, because I really don't have anything to look forward to anymore..
@@maddiesmith2479 what ended up happening :(
I dont know what you're going trough or what youre feeling specifically but something ive foud useful in communicating is to not be agrqid of what others might say. Try to remember that they love you an hearing what's going wrong is another step in finding solutions to get better ❤
I used to be the most optimistic upbeat person and ive been married to a depressed spouse for 8 years now. I'm a different person now. I can't do it anymore. I'm completely burnt out.
I hope you find relief
I understand how you feel. I'm not sure what to do or if I can keep this up. I don't want to leave work and go home anymore.
😭😭😭😭
Communicate… the people in this video are talking about their others and not to them. You fell in love for a reason and got married for a reason. I’m sure your significant other would give anything in the world to be able to be able to talk to you. A third person can be extremely helpful. I’m praying for both of you and I hope no more heart break comes either one of your ways:(
@@parkerlawhon4898 Sometimes when you communicate, they take it wrongly or as an attack.
Be aware that if you are officially diagnosed with depression (a classified mental illness) you can be denied insurance coverage or be charged a substantially higher premium.
I'm referring to how this is handled in the American health insurance industry
health insurance companies are the worst problem with US healthcare, in fact the health insurance "industry" or lobby, is probably the single biggest problem.
This helps so much! My bf for 10 months lost his job and is depressed and our relationship has gone downhill & I thought he wasn’t interested in me anymore but couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t break up with me. He’d isolate and we barely speak I mean we talk but it’s like he wants to hold on to me but we don’t see each other bc he’s iritable or sick - he’s ALWAYS sick! Also everything is my fault which is rediculous. I stay bc before this we had plans for marriage. A job loss is situational. This video at least let’s me know it’s not actually me. Thank you
kara winston my exact situation. What did you do?
Please help my situation did a 180 on Oct31st
We atleast started communicating I just dont understand ..he just shut down haven't seen him in a month
@@conniegonzales2732 Sorry to hear that.He needs to get professional help
I stopped caring completely and started taking care of myself. He texts me all day, wants to meet up all the time. Ladies, care about yourself first. Take care of yourself. At the end of the day we can only control ourselves
It’s been two years of this. He has effectively abandoned me in every way. I can’t do this anymore. I’m starting to hate him because he won’t get help and is willing to sacrifice our marriage instead.
I’m in the exact same situation..my Husband is military and away in a different city now too and won’t communicate with me at all 😞
Same happened to me. I left and I’m happier than ever.
I lost the love of my life to depression. I don’t blame her. I was mean. No libido. No motivation. We didn’t know what was wrong with me. I was no longer the person she fell in love with. Luckily I only have situational depression and it’s almost completely gone. I feel great now but Jesus it was so scary.
Good you now see your contribution
@MIKITTYwww hi hope you are doing well. How is your husband doing. I’m in the same situation right now.
Me too
It is very very frustating and draining at the same time if your spouse has depression..because we love the person and we also know that they love us but the fact is that these persons with depression start to have mood swings...and they will be miserable most of time even a slight issue can make them sad and overthink..but the fact is that upto what level the other partner can help ..he/she start draining their energy in the relationship...and there is noone that much mean there not wanting to help our own spouse ...but the fact is that we ourselves start feeling depressed and sad because of there habits and slowly slowly these people start to kill our happiness/optimism and we become so helpless that we can't even neglect the person and at same time can't love them there is loss of libido in almost 90 percent depressed people ..we ourselves start to doubt on us that are we mean thinking about their libido and all ..but no ..we can't be wrong because these people with depression start to drain you in every aspect that you just get frustated that what's happening with my life ...I can't live without you, you are only good thing happened to me these phrases start to take all the happiness and we also start getting depressed with that person...these people with depression will never think that we are in their favour unless we start to talking to them in their depressive launguage ..they will only be satisfied with thought that we also feel the same as they do ..in a way they want us to get depressed..they will do everything to show that they want us to keep going in our career but deep down they has this constant insecurity.. there's not their problem may be but yes it is very very draining to be in relationship with depressed person
No need to feel guilty...I have faced the same .....we start getting depressed with person in Depression they will drain your whole energy and at the end we will be doubting ourselves are we mean or were we a good spouse ? Even we knew all the fact that either we had died because of depression or the relationship not working well due to their behaviour
I like how calm and light the video is. It tells me things about something serious but doesn't make me feel helpless or overwhelmed with negativity ^^
I speak through experience. I wish I made a different decision. Get some help for yourself, if you are the caregiver of someone with chronic mental illness. It is so draining to be on the other side of it
This is the best advise. But people are saying so mean things about who is depressed. Seems they don't understand that this terrible illnes change us and everyday we fight to be better, we feel guilty about being ill.
i was recently diagnosed with depression and it seems like my lack of social skills and my extreme decline in energy and happiness after vistinf my dad has affected the way me and my boyfriend interact. last night, we had our breaking point and everything he had felt about me and the stuff i did and didnt do came out. i almost lost him. but i told him to give me time to get better, because i want to get better so badly. im in therapy, found God, im writing in a journal and just writing in general. im doing self care and im doing everything i can to feel better. he stood with me, thank fully. and im so thankful for the second chance God has granted me. i will strive to find happiness everyday.
lol update, he broke up with me over 2 months ago because of my depression 😂😂 (im good tho)
anb who went thru the same thing tho just stay strong, focus on loving yourself and knowing your worth. YOU DESERVE LOVE !!!!!! 💖💖💖
Yeah, experienced this myself. Was married 6 years. Was always wondering about the behavior of my ex at some times, didn't really understand, what's going on with her or what was wrong and why she couldn't be satisfied with the good life we lifed. Tried to be the best and understanding und caring husband in could be doing everything in could, to make her happy or live easier und better for her. Slowly giving myself up and burning myself out. But it was never enough Titel satisfy her, cause due to the Depressions she wanted always more and more. More attention, more activity, more money and so on. And if something didn't went like she wanted -always argueing dramatic about anything -didn't matter how meaningless or small the topic was. Didn't matter for her, saw always her Personal wishes and wantings. Things got out of Hand and much worse, due a death in her family, Corona, pregnancy and life became much harder, burning myself out much more. Tried the Daily fight for this relationship up, because if our little sunshine-daughter and false hopes. But at some point, i understood, this isn't the person in Fell in love with and it will never again be, this marriage and her abusive behaviors made me kinda sick at some times. So i left her, it was the best decision since years i made. Was relieved from the first day and got happier every day and was enjoying life and myself again due to the circumstances. Will never regret this decision.
This really resonated with me , suffocating there is so dreadful
impressive ! i think no ne expected that result in this video . but still i heard of some products for example natural drops spanish fly which boost your energy and relieve stress and depression
I've been on and off depression since 2010. Now, with my 2yo relationship I'm seeing getting better, yet I see myself putting to emotional weight on her by venting my feelings...she has transformed slowly in to my therapist.
At the worst they just ask for small things but things that are way to small to matter.
I recently lost my dad, didn’t do well in exam, trying best to adjust in a new country,living without my family. I'm trying my best to keep the balance but am so stressed that i totally lost interest in sex. While it's totally opposite in my husband, he doesnt really seem to get my problem, my loneliness and my lack of interests in everything. I am continuously refusing having sex cause i totally don't enjoy it at all,and my husband is making it worse. I am feeling so suffocated and lonely and helpless.
If you need someone to help you out write to this number he will help you I promise
You can write him on whatsap
+1, 4, 7, 5, 2, 8, 9, 6, 1, 2, 0
I hate that phrase " find something fun to do" thats the last thing i want to do when I'm in a depressed state. I wish people wouldn't say that.
2:23 family member dont understand why people with depression cant follow through
darlene this is why its hard to see your depressed at times
this is really really helpful. thank you
Hardly any of this stuff works
It's to the point where nothing is working and nothing is bringing him any joy whatsoever. Every year that goes by is getting worse and he does not want to get help or treatment. I don't know what else to do at this point.
As a depression and have really bad mentally fucked up person just want to get help and get better, just leave him because he'll drain you in many ways and end up you'll be the one like him unfortunately
What Can I do?
first part of the video is exactly how I am right now I hate I treat my love like shit but I know my problems and I want to fix em so I can marry him
ALWAYS ASK FOR HELP, I never use to ask for help bc i was raised by a MARINE pull yourself up by your own boot straps family who had a bankruptcy once. But i was Crippled in an accident.
Im so over her depression....
It's not easy to walk alongside someone with chronic depression. If it's right for you to stay in the relationship, seek out support. Taking care of yourself is so important. If family and friends aren't supportive, look up NAMI support groups that are available online and all over the US.
I haven't reached the point of needing to leave my relationship. It's been a lot of years, and it's hard not knowing if his health will significantly improve. Getting help for myself has made it possible to hang in. But, I have had many moments of doubt along the way. Be kind to yourself, even if your choice must be a different one than mine. You are not a bad person for learning and honoring your limits and needs. Wishing you the best.
I'm tired and tempted to give him up.. 😭
@@ngamjai2207 how is it now?
@@carmen.5784 he is now getting better.
@@ngamjai2207 so like are you with him? did he act rude to you when he was going through that?
There are so many means comentaries here.
thank you
The video sound is pretty good, beyond my imagination
i a wife but not mental health nurse..people with mental health issues firstly need to want to help themselves and not to blame others in their issues. I am sick of it
@Ariel Lazarus such a bogan comment . Anything else relevant to the video?
Fuck you
Hope you or anyone in your family or any of your friends get depression wouldn't want you to be around me if I was depressed you heartless person
@George King heartless person? If you get depression the only person who can help you - you. Noone has to suffer from someone's health condition. I bet you are from Australia UK or USA. Have real problems in life then you won't have time for depression
Depression is not a choice, it's a disease, most people suffer in silence.!
Very good and funny videos bring a great sense of entertainment!
Depression isn’t highly treatable at all !!!
Its one of the hardest to treat because your brain is working against your cure. Defo not easy. X
I'm depressed and have suicidal thoughts and I'm not going to let anyone know because they discharge you from the military for this. Sorry but if you are depressed your best bet is to not say a word, they pretend to help you but they financially screw you over. Therefore you fall back in stress and depression.
How are you B W? You matter and a stranger can be your outlet. Be kind to yourself during those hard days meaning take it one hour at a time. Do alot of deep breathing if you get anxious. Keep at it as it really works after a while. Go somewhere private and have a good cry or write down how you are feeling and don't worry about correct grammar or perfect sentences just let it out on paper. These are some of the things that help me through my shitty days. Those who don't struggle with depression can't understand what it feels like. I keep quiet now and keep to myself so as not to ruin any more relationships. The clouds do lift eventually and sunny days are ahead. You can do this and you are not alone.
You are so special you are created by God … he wants you live and y ou fight because he knows you can do it . GoD bless you
What normal human being can not be depressed living with a woman: negative, carping, manipulative, demanding, greedy, conniving, and controlling. You wind up living in HER house, walking on eggshells for fear you might say or do something that she "just can't stand anymore" so she gets a lawyer to extract your assets, money, house, kids who she turns against you, reputation, and if she can your freedom. Why NOT be depressed???
W.J. Kelly your a moron
Truth. Once you wear the husband and father hat no one caters to you when your scared sick or lonely.
What if you are the woman in the depressed situation. I have a wonderful man in my life! Sometimes my depression gets in the way of our relationship but we find ways to overcome it.
You sound like someone who has been hurt by a woman before. I think it is a very one sided opinion you are coming from.
@@GreatSageSunWukong Actually you are the moron
@@cliffkonkle3467 no you are
Very good and funny videos bring a great sense of entertainment!
Very good and funny videos bring a great sense of entertainment!
Very good and funny videos bring a great sense of entertainment!
Very good and funny videos bring a great sense of entertainment!