EXACTLY HOW NICE GUYS BLOW IT AND HOW F BOYS CRUSH THE COMPETITION

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  • Опубліковано 9 лис 2024
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    1. you have the opportunity to be sexy and you believe that it's smartest to pretend to be wholesome despite you having sexual attraction
    2. you wait for the neon green flashing light and miss the actual green lights which are more subtle
    3. you misinterpret advice from women to be saying that they want someone NICE and forget that while it is true they want something nice it is NOT ALL they want and they may have been uncomfortable to discuss sex with you leaving out the second piece of what they want. SEE my video on ALPHA in LOVE: • The CORE FANTASY that ...
    4. You are scared to give compliments that could be interpreted as showing your sexual desire
    5. you are scared to initiate in tiny safe ways like small touches in safe appropriate places, teasing or sassiness as she says, talking about how HOT she is and showing her that through your body language.
    GOOD LUCK TO ALL YOU NICE GUYS. I admire you and know it is TRICKY and that you are trying not to hurt anyone. You are awesome for that. But as you can see in this situation he was blowing it.
    Please comment below with whatever you have to say!
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 694

  • @BenneWill
    @BenneWill Рік тому +182

    My biggest mistake was being nice to people, expecting a trophy in return. Turns out women respect when you have a backbone.

    • @-_Nuke_-
      @-_Nuke_- 9 місяців тому

      The biggest turn offs for a Woman is something called "male hysteria".
      The word hysteria comes from the Greek word "υστερία" that means deprivation. Males that are deprived of sex for a long period of their lives, develop characteristics that are OBVIOUS to most Women and to most experienced Men.
      The other huge turn off is the "nice guy syndrome", basically the equivalent of a guy having a sex toy hanging out from his anus... Yes, that's how Women look at nice guys.
      So, if you are sexually deprived you might end up either having a "nice guy syndrome" or a "male hysteria" syndrome. Or both... And the key to eliminate both of those syndromes is... Having more sex with more Women...
      And the way to have more sex with more Women is to have sex with any kind of girl, ugly, fat, whatever... Having had sex with 10, 20, 30, 40 Women even if most of them was not so good looking, gives you such a confidence boost - and at the same time you eliminate both the good guy syndrome and the male hysteria syndrome...
      So now you don't need to pretend to be an "f" boy. You are an "f" boy, and you have the numbers to back it up. Even if these numbers are not quality. Quantity is what matters here.
      So it doesn't matter if a guy is young, tall, good looking, rich or whatever - if he is a virgin then he either has male hysteria or good guy syndrome... But if you are just a normal dude that sleeps with girls all the time regardless to how good looking or not they are - then bro, your gaze can just disarm a Woman right there.

    • @4DTravelr
      @4DTravelr 6 місяців тому +4

      Emphasis on the expecting a trophy part. Being nice is fun and rewarding when you don't expect a trophy lol. Or if you're seeking a trophy then yes don't be nice.

    • @Peyton_Edwards
      @Peyton_Edwards 4 місяці тому +2

      Power of walking away turns them on. Even if you don't agree you still walk away but if you did agree then it's even more of a turn on for her.

    • @mr_kepp
      @mr_kepp Місяць тому +2

      not only women respect a backbone

  • @vicvic2081
    @vicvic2081 Рік тому +477

    This video is always painful because genuine nice guys were sabotaged and lied to their entire lives.

    • @professorpedropontes4402
      @professorpedropontes4402 Рік тому +37

      You’re right, bro. Gotta leave the whole nice guy thing behind. It’s useless.

    • @fontunetheteller410
      @fontunetheteller410 11 місяців тому +63

      And whooooooo popularized the nice guy shit?? THATS RIGHT, WOMEN!

    • @dxdarkness6
      @dxdarkness6 11 місяців тому +56

      @@fontunetheteller410 they lied to us, especially family women. they say to be those thing bc its what they want from their man, but thats not what attracted them. what a freakin shame in my life

    • @RodrigoMera
      @RodrigoMera 11 місяців тому +16

      You can't really leave it, your parents or older brothers "trained you to be a loser". I'm not saying not to try, but it's like a complete full rewiring of your brain.

    • @RodrigoMera
      @RodrigoMera 11 місяців тому +19

      @@user-cs6ln3wl4t Your mom teaches you to be a loser most of the time, because she wants to control you until she is old and lonely. It's cruel and unfair, but that's how you get "nice guys".

  • @chernobog4099
    @chernobog4099 Рік тому +241

    As someone that was the "nice guy" for so many years, once again your analysis is spot-on. I was raised by a single mom so I was always taught to be super respectful to women, and combined with constant HR videos at work demonstrating that you shouldn't ever even give the wrong eye contact, it's hard to break out of the mold that society gives to men. You have a way of giving incredible insights to men and I would like to thank you for your contribution towards society.

    • @mynonleatherlife
      @mynonleatherlife  Рік тому +12

      Thanks a lot cherno!!!!!!!!!!

    • @mat7083
      @mat7083 11 місяців тому +1

      🚬

    • @lluxrynewman6080
      @lluxrynewman6080 10 місяців тому +1

      Bro we have the same situation, not so much the hr but the single mom stuff

    • @AlexeyMartynenko-f8e
      @AlexeyMartynenko-f8e 10 місяців тому +4

      Would also be interesting to highlight that the HR videos are also made by women.

    • @John_Conner222
      @John_Conner222 9 місяців тому +7

      My mother and sisters were worse. They were so angry with my father (mom and sisters are incredibly manipulative narcissists and evil ones at that) who finally decided to walk away because of their crap. Unable to leave because I was a minor I was set upon and it was relentless. Every day, "men are bad", "you better not be like your father", etc etc etc. Constant yelling and screaming and gaslighting. They could do no wrong and I could do no right. Watching this video is painful. Because I acted like this for so long. You only get one shot and if you ever see her again she is going to blow you off or mock you. It was beaten into me to be the nice guy but any attempt at being masculine in my family was met with intense backlash. So for me pushing too hard to be sexual or intimate would result in a scream session so I never did it and paid dearly for it. Finally ended up having to do the same as my father and move away to another state and change my information. Contacted local law enforcement and told them to ignore any missing person statement filed on my behalf because of what happened to me. Took about 10 years of self work and working with professional mentors but I can finally be a guy. Of course if you talk to my mother and sister its all my fault and they are completely innocent. I guess it could have been worse and there could have been physical violence or abuse or even be forced to take blockers.

  • @Gnomesmusher
    @Gnomesmusher 11 місяців тому +178

    Eh, you shouldn't be too much of a nice guy. But at the same time, a lot of these women who love the F-boy types are so broken and carry a lot of baggage. They're exhausting because they get bored easily. They'll cheat frequently. They're not really capable of love. They're always chasing that next high.
    So sometimes it's good to weed out those type of women with a little bit of the nice guy.

    • @thepjholden1
      @thepjholden1 10 місяців тому +22

      THIS ONE!

    • @IntellectCorner
      @IntellectCorner 10 місяців тому +16

      That's not true man. You are finding a logic that fits to the situation so that you don't need to change anything. The point here was that even to the girl you like and are sexually interested in you are not talking honestly bcoz of your self image. It's not about her, she can be good or bad but you can't talk that's the main point. And to counter your argument, nice guys are the ones getting most attracted by bad girls or girls with emotional trauma so if you think being nice guy is a stretigic move, it's clearly working opposite to what you described.

    • @Gnomesmusher
      @Gnomesmusher 10 місяців тому +30

      @@IntellectCorner Where did I say whatsoever that I wouldn't need to change anything? I was pointing out that things are more nuanced than just "don't be nice" because a lot of women who like the f-boy types are broken and probably not the types you want to attract if you want a healthy stable relationship.
      And no it's not true that only nice guys attract the broken women. You only think that because those nice guys are doormats and stay with those women because they have no other options.
      You think nice stable girls like the type of "bad boys" you're thinking of? No, they want someone who is stable as well. And that's neither a guy who is too nice or the toxic "bad boy". Again, it's about nuance here.

    • @YD-0223
      @YD-0223 10 місяців тому +16

      I’m starting to think Victoria is a red flag woman

    • @TheAbundanceVibration
      @TheAbundanceVibration 10 місяців тому +4

      True! That’s so dang true though, because the women who chase after a guy like this are in fact usually broken and have an immense amount of unresolved emotional baggage. They’ll forever cheat on that guy because they say they want a great good guy and a nice and kind relationship, but then covertly sabotage it by hooking up with some 1 or having a side fwb!

  • @paulprice1705
    @paulprice1705 2 роки тому +162

    At about 5:30 he says exactly what the problem was: "I grew up in a household of all women and they taught me". Those women trained a nice guy to take care of them, not the man they would want if they were non related and wanting a man they desire.

    • @mynonleatherlife
      @mynonleatherlife  2 роки тому +57

      They gave him good advice. Just not complete advice. Being sexually forward is not something u want to teach your brother about. You want to teach him the appropriate skills, some things are best not taught by your family members.

    • @paulprice1705
      @paulprice1705 2 роки тому +30

      @@mynonleatherlife True in part, I don't see it as advice came from family, rather it came 'just' from female family. I see more that the problem was there was no male role model and advice giver. It should not be his friends/age group either.
      Father or uncle... maybe an experienced elder bro. That makes a huge difference for young men.
      Like most things its about finding a balance. Utilizing the best parts of advice from both the girls and the men that are aware of reality.

    • @JohnBrown-ig5nc
      @JohnBrown-ig5nc 2 роки тому +27

      @@paulprice1705 nailed it all the way. Older male mentors are important

    • @vicvic2081
      @vicvic2081 Рік тому +7

      This is wrong...the pain genuine nice guy go through is hell

    • @jjswigger8591
      @jjswigger8591 9 місяців тому

      bro most girls HATE WHEN U ASK to be physical. unless its a first kiss you should ask, if not dont be such an over thinking inbred beta soiboi @@mynonleatherlife

  • @kebman
    @kebman 10 місяців тому +46

    There was this “friend” who was interested in a girl I just met. So, to dominate me he tried to make me look like a fool for admitting that I liked her in front of her. Meanwhile he'd constantly try to take over the conversation with her and failing, while trying to belittle me in order to ruin my run instead.
    After a while he challenged me with, “So, I bet you're really into this girl, aren't you?” Implying I was weak.
    Saying that you like a girl is usually a _faux pas,_ as admitting that to their face will often turn them off because it comes off as needy. So, he thought I'd make a fool of myself if he managed to force me into admitting it in front of her.
    Except I wasn't saying it to _her._ I was saying it to _him,_ while she was listening. So, I told him, a bit annoyed, “Yes, imagine that! I think she's super cute and I really like her. What're you gonna do about it?”
    At this point the girl went “Ahem” and looked at us. Then she continued, “Well, I'm gonna go to the bathroom, guys” Then she shifted to me, and added, “So... Don't you _follow_ me now. If you know what I mean.”
    Meanwhile my “friend” was sipping his beer, enjoying his victory for annoying me and sending her off. So, I told him, “Well, thanks for that, ‘buddy!’ I'm getting another beer.” He was literally laughing as I walked off.
    Except I never went to the bar. I went straight after the girl, who was waiting for me in the bathroom...

    • @jeanfioretti816
      @jeanfioretti816 9 місяців тому +5

      Props man

    • @patinho5589
      @patinho5589 9 місяців тому +13

      Typical girl stuff. Telling you to not do what she wants you to do.

    • @jagosevatarion8822
      @jagosevatarion8822 9 місяців тому +16

      ​@@patinho5589 if it was me she said that to she would have to wait for me forever in the bathroom, i would never get the hint since im autistic

    • @lijh
      @lijh 6 місяців тому +15

      "I'll take things that never happened Alex for $1,000.00" lol. Good yarn.

    • @sonicman52
      @sonicman52 5 місяців тому

      @@patinho5589You’re hopelesss

  • @joseph6243
    @joseph6243 2 роки тому +342

    Great breakdown Victoria. I believe the "I was taught to respect women" is often an excuse to justify nice guy syndrome. These guys usually are overly respectful of women and do have good intentions, but it undermines the core issue which is their s3xual repression. Most nice guys carry deep levels of shame around their masculinity and their s3xuality. But a man can be s3xually forward and liberated and still treat women respectfully at the same time. With nice guys, it doesn't matter how overt the green lights are because of their shame. She is literally complaining that he ISN'T s3xualizing her, that he ISN'T treating her like a s3xual being. She's encouraging him to be MORE s3xual but this is unfathomable to nice guys, so he opts to get more romantic.

    • @mynonleatherlife
      @mynonleatherlife  2 роки тому +44

      wow fantastic point Joseph...ur breakdown was much better

    • @joseph6243
      @joseph6243 2 роки тому +44

      @@mynonleatherlife Thanks, unfortunately I have plenty of experience with the nice guy trope. I had to deal with my own s3xual repression and develop a deeper connection with my masculinity myself. I've always appreciated your compassion towards men and male issues, Victoria!

    • @joseph6243
      @joseph6243 2 роки тому +7

      @Marcus Webster That's one of the various reasons. Yeah it's unfortunate that female on male sexism is a rampant thing... It's also important, if not vital, to become more resilient to that sort of treatment from women and to cease to acknowledge or interact with women who exhibit that behavior.

    • @Jamalquentinjr
      @Jamalquentinjr 2 роки тому

      This leads me to yet another misunderstanding of our sexual nature. There are a lot of things that are mentioned on red pill channels for example that are demonized or considered a deal breaker and I have done these things with 100% success sexually despite these things being considered a way to not get laid for example. I know the reason but it's hard to put into words. For example crying in front of a woman. My tears were actually regarding my choices of crime in order to provide for my kids as opposed to just crying because your coworker looked at you wrong or frustration because u can't make more $. My tears were done in a sexy tone with a smile and simply acknowledging that I did not regret my choices as I did what was necessary for the well being of those I was responsible for. All I got from that woman was hugs and kisses on my neck before sex that night. After that night not a motherfckng thing changed regarding respect. Even in the way I speak you wouldn't think of who I am and where I come from or the shit I've done because I never made my circumstances my identity. It's tricky because supposedly there are articles about women losing respect for u if you cry. My theory is that it depends what kind of tears and the tone of how you process the situation. Even in my sorrow I never portrayed frustration or hopelessness. On the contrary I was 100% clear on my path and what needed to be done without any fear. This was when I was selling cocaine. If anything that woman became more emotionally involved with me. That's just one example of things that I've observed in my own experiences. Another thing men get wrong is the whole idea that ignoring a woman is the key to get her attention 😂 this one is funny because if you don't naturally understand the concept by simply already doing it the right way you're just gonna look uninterested to her signals and she's gonna move on to another man. It's not about ignoring a woman but rather being unshaken by her sexual precense meaning you can stay cool in a situation where other men will be moved into a place of lack of control over themselves. Idk if I'm explaining it well but when I see the difference u don't actually "TRY" anything. You simply go about your day but u don't go around with the intention of ignoring anyone purposely to make yourself appear interesting. 9/10 they will catch your bullshit and think you're someone who thinks less of others and too high of themselves and not even in the way a highly confident or even conceited person would but worse 😂. Those are just two observations I have noticed in my own experience as man but hey what do I know.

    • @Kholaslittlespot1
      @Kholaslittlespot1 2 роки тому +5

      Nah, some of us are nice but still filthy bastards xD

  • @plainsimple244
    @plainsimple244 2 роки тому +151

    This is a great video because it shows the mentality of the need of a female to be wanted sexually. The problem is, a lot of the time, guys just don't want to get into any trouble when it comes to mixed messages because a woman can easily 'flip' or 'switch' on him with accusations of things that can go seriously-left really quick -- this is also why a lot of women run into guys they think are 'nice guys' but when they want that 'raw attraction' a man has for them, the guy just takes his time... a lot of time because he has to size her up mentally to see what 'could' go wrong: this is referring to a guy who is not weak but a regular guy who does the right things with good intentions but is cautious when it comes to opening up his desires to a woman who could go either way.

    • @D33Lux
      @D33Lux 2 роки тому

      100% true, you nailed it. A man being an aggressive, masculine, raw, sex beast is dangerous right now, women can turn around, accuse him of anything and its over for that man. Men are confused and cautious when it comes to making any type of romantic, or sexual advances.

    • @plainsimple244
      @plainsimple244 2 роки тому

      @@D33Lux Yeah, it's not happening and women need to realize cases and time is real and false accusations that mess up your reputation, business, and money is serious out here; the type of real woman that wants a real man, she's just going to have to wait until the laws and culture change towards reality of a male/female dynamic because you can't be real with women now-a-days, the price is not worth it.

  • @punkask3619
    @punkask3619 2 роки тому +109

    Thanks Victoria, this is key. It's better to be sexual than not sexual, it's better to take action rather than inaction. I've been out here and I've never seen a green light, you have to make the green light.
    Nice guys wait for the green light because they don't want to come across as pushy, they want the woman to make their own choice to choose him. This never happens and I think the subtle invitations video will really help out the guys because they are missing them.

    • @mynonleatherlife
      @mynonleatherlife  2 роки тому +13

      Oh wow very interesting points

    • @PraveenSrJ01
      @PraveenSrJ01 2 роки тому +4

      Very interesting and unique points!

    • @eliascontreras1951
      @eliascontreras1951 Рік тому +1

      Which video?

    • @lrp1999
      @lrp1999 11 місяців тому +1

      Great comment 👍👍👍

    • @mattburnett4185
      @mattburnett4185 11 місяців тому +1

      Exactly, Rarely any green lights
      I want her to pick me to some degree.
      At least show some interest or something.
      No just sit there looking at the phone,
      waiting for me to start grabbing and groping,
      Or any other guy that wants a feel for that matter
      Whichever guy pushes to the front of the line gets the prize
      I guess thats evolution

  • @professorpedropontes4402
    @professorpedropontes4402 Рік тому +14

    It’s true. Being straightforward may have you being turned down, but not doing so just kills the chances, for sure.

  • @Raymond-rr5iv
    @Raymond-rr5iv 2 роки тому +82

    Now at 72 years old I live in a senior building. You have to be 62 to get in here so most of the women have gone through menopause. Most of them have no interest in having sex. However, in their presence I fully acknowledge their sexuality respectfully and as if they were in their Prime. The way you feel about sex and what you want to do is a communication and a dance of a kind. Telling her what you want and finding out what she wants definitely employ more than just words. Victoria is right essentially saying that the man traditionally makes a move. It might even be for phallic reasons. I mean if you're not excited about her then romance doesn't occur and vice versa. Communication always important !! For myself it's an easy flow of conversation...feeling passion about the life force in me and all about me is my focus... lately it's very physical ... if you can take charge and override your good boy feelings...then àll else naturally falls into place. You'll know. I won't promise you it will be easy but it will be very satisfying. Life is too short to do anything else. I thought being older would be a disaster but for me it's a delight. Science modern technology is creating people with Asperger's and social problems because they look at a screen all day. I think the technology has a lot to do with socializing inexperience in formative years. When everybody starts wanting to have sex then all of a sudden this deficiency developed out of technological distractions preventing socializing becomes a real problem. Solving the problem comes down to realizing you have one and then getting whatever you need to at least bring yourself up to standards. You'll never forgive yourself if you don't.

    • @mynonleatherlife
      @mynonleatherlife  2 роки тому +7

      Awesome advice Raymond!

    • @Raymond-rr5iv
      @Raymond-rr5iv 2 роки тому +5

      @@mynonleatherlife Thank you . Your program astounds me. You have wisdom far beyond your years 🙏 ❤️ .

    • @patchthesinclair5896
      @patchthesinclair5896 2 роки тому +6

      Raymond my favourite opening line here in the UK where seniors get free bus passes is to say to the girl holding a bus pass and queuing in front of me is to say, with a soft smile and a glint in the eye, " I promise not to tell you have stolen your big sister's bus pass!" That line says,
      1. You look good
      2. We have a( pretend ) naughty secret.
      3. I find you hot.
      If your reward is a smile everyone feels younger every one feels good. You have paid a compliment and said a whole lot more so simply and gently!
      I think you have similar ' little ways '
      Old is as much fun as you make it!😉

    • @PraveenSrJ01
      @PraveenSrJ01 2 роки тому +2

      I am 39years old and will be your age in only 33 years!

    • @Kholaslittlespot1
      @Kholaslittlespot1 2 роки тому +7

      You're probably getting more than me, Raymond. Probably.

  • @theguardianarchives433
    @theguardianarchives433 11 місяців тому +42

    The problem is that we're taught at a young age to adulthood that any display of natural desire is predatory and disrespectful.
    So basically the truth is do what you want to do regardless of the consequences.

    • @JolPil
      @JolPil 6 місяців тому

      TOXIC MASCULINITY. The world wide buzz word killing young mens sex drive. Turning them into nice guys full of fear, fear of being labeled.

  • @andreramada30
    @andreramada30 2 роки тому +18

    you are such a good person honestly

  • @scottcoley1906
    @scottcoley1906 11 місяців тому +16

    At that point when she asked about his fantasy about her, his response should have been:" I just want to push you up against the wall, hike up your sexy little green skirt and take you right here like a man just released from a 10 year stretch in prison. " 😂😂😂😂

  • @StrikerEureka85
    @StrikerEureka85 2 роки тому +143

    i feel like i'm watching myself 10 years ago. that was literally me. this was painful to watch. i learned the lesson the hard way after countless heartbreaks and friendzones.

    • @mauric99
      @mauric99 Рік тому +2

      So what have you done differently?? Go to the clubs ... give women excessive alcohol and then date graped them, cause in Miami that's what these 304s seem to love...and this coming from a beautiful woman that I know (that has even been on the Fresh and Fit podcast and is delusioned with living in this town tells me). LOL

    • @chahineezzine5504
      @chahineezzine5504 11 місяців тому +4

      How did you change, I know I'm the nice guy but I don't know how to change

    • @someguywithawi-ficonnectio931
      @someguywithawi-ficonnectio931 11 місяців тому

      ​@@chahineezzine5504just be open about your feelings, if you find a chick hot tell her that, if you find her gorgeous tell her that (not in such a straight forward way but like in the middle of a conversation, sprinkle in a flirt here and there) if you need more help id recommend watching those dating tips vids, they can and likely will genuinely help you with this sort of stuff 👍

    • @Amistad377
      @Amistad377 10 місяців тому

      ​@@chahineezzine5504 you need to be detached from the outcome of physically escalating with a woman you want. Go for it. Just don't make it creepy. Tell yourself it's no big deal.
      Stop hiding your dick (in a manner of speaking).

    • @Nostalgic_reminders
      @Nostalgic_reminders 8 місяців тому

      Use anger to change, watch Micheal Jordan

  • @srbaruchi
    @srbaruchi Рік тому +33

    MY STORY ... Not long ago, I was a widower who had not yet had any sex or relationship with a woman since my wife's passing. In my first long conversation with a celibate widow I knew casually (and whom I knew liked me), I asked her, "If we start dating, and find there is a physical attraction, are you ready to escalate to a sexual relationship"?
    She told me multiple times after we started dating (and sexing) that that question rebooted her brain into realizing YES, she did want SEX -- along with emotional involvement with a man.
    I didn't (and don't) really know what I'm doing, but my instincts were in the right place.

    • @404NotFoundIDontCare
      @404NotFoundIDontCare Рік тому +3

      thanks for sharing might have to use that line😂

    • @u2b83
      @u2b83 2 місяці тому +2

      All the complexity/details are hiding in "whom I knew liked me" - this is like a successful rapper telling dorky guys to wear ugly baggy pants lol
      I've only had one such experience with a neo-celibate divorced lady of a professor.
      Based on my personal stats, the chance of meeting someone like you did is essentially once in a lifetime. Best to just talk to normal women and express physical intent early on, this will skew odds of success within a single human lifetime timeframe.
      Another widow professor I met a few years ago essentially told me "she's not ready and needs to grieve for a year." We kissed, she made me dinner, and I saw her naked but instead of getting anywhere, she just met another guy at a club.
      Don't over/under estimate the grieving process.
      Before that, a russian ex, beat me to it after her 3/4-year Budhist retreat after divorcing her rich husband, who paid for it. She divorced him after she found another woman's messages in his phone. Immediately after getting out, she found someone at her college to try "let's make sure it still works". I guess you could try that line too. Boy, that was such let down to have someone beat me to it lol That crappy relationship went on for like 5 years. She turned me into the simp who fulfilled her non-fuckboy fantasies that the other guys neglected.
      ...Ok last one, weirdest story. After running a line on cougar lady with a nice behind at a train station, she pulled down her pants and bent over in the elevator down to the trains. I seriously didn't know what to do, so I said nice! and we exited. On the train she told me a story of how she let the guy sitting next to her secretly finger her on a greyhound bus and how it made the trip nice. Reality check though, someone like that (whom is also attractive) is probably 1 out of 10,000 women you'll meet in your lifetime. This has never happened since. It's a weird world we live in, never give up lol

    • @srbaruchi
      @srbaruchi 2 місяці тому

      @@u2b83 Thanks much for sharing your stories. First, just because you know a woman likes you and is attracted to you doesn't mean she has it (yet) in her head to have sex with you. We dudes have that thought w/in seconds. For the ladies, it takes some percolating. And, of course, I don't limit my pursuits only to women who have straight-out told me they like me.
      Your stories are missing some explanation. How did you see that widowed professor naked, and why was there no follow-through to some kind of physical intimacy? I am in a widows/widowers group, and it is true, btw, that everyone grieves in their own way, on their own schedule. But that's their business, and I never presume someone can't grieve and f*** at the same time.
      Why (and in what way) are you simping (for 5 years?!) for someone who is NOT letting you get in her pants? When I was a young single guy, if a girl wasn't interested in me sexually, early on, there was no point sticking around (excluding girls I just wanted to be friends with). Still feel that way.
      I don't know the percentages on these women who do wild, impulsive things publicly, but they are treasures! If that train lady happened to me, I would have asked for her number to possibly hook up later or, almost as good, hear her wild stories over the phone.
      We're in the cyber age, but phone sex with a horny, whore-y, creative, expressive woman is GREAT STUFF. Some things they say will stick in your mind for life.
      When I was single in my 20s, I answered a phone call from a woman. It was a wrong number, but we started talking casually, and, within a couple of hours, we were having phone sex. I then asked to meet her, and she agreed. Of course she was MUCH less attractive than in my imagination, and I cut our meetup short. Afterward, it dawned on me that the whole phone-sex thing might have been premeditated on her part. Just a horny lady randomly dialing for d**k.

    • @srbaruchi
      @srbaruchi 2 місяці тому

      ​@@u2b83 Thanks much for sharing your stories. First, just because you know a woman likes you and is attracted to you doesn't mean she has it (yet) in her head to have sex with you. We dudes have that thought w/in seconds. For the ladies, it takes some percolating. And, of course, I don't limit my pursuits only to women who have straight-out told me they like me.
      Your stories are missing some explanation. How did you see that woman naked, and why was there no follow-through to some kind of physical intimacy?
      Why (and in what way) are you simping (for 5 years?!) for someone who is NOT letting you get in her pants? When I was a young single guy, if a girl wasn't interested in me sexually, early on, there was no point sticking around (excluding girls I just wanted to be friends with). Still feel that way.
      I don't know the percentages on these women who do wild, impulsive things publicly, but they are treasures! If that train lady happened to me, I would have asked for her number to possibly hook up later or, almost as good, hear her wild stories over the phone.
      We live in the cyber age, but phone sex with a horny, whore-y, creative, expressive woman is GREAT STUFF. Some things they say will stick in your mind for life.
      When I was single in my 20s, I answered a phone call from a woman. It was a wrong number, but we started talking casually, and, within a couple of hours, we were having phone sex. I then asked to meet her, and she agreed. Of course, she was MUCH less attractive than in my imagination, and I cut our meetup short. Afterward, it dawned on me that the whole phone-sex thing might have been premeditated on her part. Just a horny lady randomly dialing for d**k.

    • @srbaruchi
      @srbaruchi 2 місяці тому

      ​@@u2b83 Thanks much for sharing your stories. First, just because you know a woman likes you and is attracted to you doesn't mean she has it (yet) in her head to have sex with you. We dudes have that thought w/in seconds. For the ladies, it takes some percolating. And, of course, I don't limit my pursuits only to women who have straight-out told me they like me.
      Your stories are missing some explanation. How did you see that woman naked, and why was there no follow-through to some kind of physical intimacy?
      Why (and in what way) are you simping (for 5 years?!) for someone who is NOT letting you get in her pants? When I was a young single guy, if a girl wasn't interested in me sexually, early on, there was no point sticking around (excluding girls I just wanted to be friends with). Still feel that way.
      I don't know the percentages on these women who do wild, impulsive things publicly, but they are treasures! If that train lady happened to me, I would have asked for her number to possibly hook up later or, almost as good, hear her wild stories over the phone.
      We live in the cyber age, but sex (by phone) with a horny, creative, expressive woman is GREAT STUFF. Some things they say will stick in your mind for life.
      When I was single in my 20s, I answered a phone call from a woman. It was a wrong number, but we started talking casually, and, within a couple of hours, we were having sex (by phone). I then asked to meet her, and she agreed. Of course, she was MUCH less attractive than in my imagination, and I cut our meetup short. Afterward, it dawned on me that the whole sex (by phone) thing might have been premeditated on her part. Just a horny lady randomly dialing for d**k.

  • @jaycehargraves6176
    @jaycehargraves6176 11 місяців тому +6

    Well put in a lot shorter words than are needed on this complex topic. Women want to feel-- no normal person is turned off by kindness. Be kind. But DO NOT BE NICE. Meaning say the truth. If you want something tell the person even if it’s not “socially acceptable”. Be honest with yourself. Be honest with your partner. Do not be a people pleaser. Take what you want (of course in the right context) be confident. Be kind. Be honest, be passionate. And keep your purpose as your number one goal. And don’t be afraid to show the darker sides of yourself to your partner. Most women are attracted to this. Do not settle. You are the prize aswell.

  • @miamitten1123
    @miamitten1123 2 роки тому +38

    3:55 - 4:06
    I think he (and many other) are afraid of being accused of sexual harassment. There’s an art to bring a forward man.
    The F-boy has been practicing since he was 12 years old. The ‘nice guy’ is playing catch up.

    • @YoungMoneyfast7Boss
      @YoungMoneyfast7Boss Рік тому +3

      Accurate

    • @JolPil
      @JolPil 6 місяців тому

      BULLSEYE! After me too went world wide, a lot of nice guys just cut their balls of, mentally. Fear of losing your job, friends, family etc. If you do som f boy moves.

  • @anthropomorphicOrange
    @anthropomorphicOrange Рік тому +8

    You should resume making more videos. You always give honest and insightful advice.

  • @emregocmen9562
    @emregocmen9562 11 місяців тому +16

    'i grew up in a household full of woman' all you need to know

  • @xeropunt5749
    @xeropunt5749 2 роки тому +22

    My thoughts on reality:
    Some crave classic falling in love - I think Dostoyevsky said, to paraphrase:
    as there is fetishes for certain kinks in sex,
    sex itself, is a fetish of the whole woman.
    Let people negotiate exactly what they want, shared needs/values. Of course one has to be serious about it and not waste anybody’s time. If the dude doesn’t wanna play her games, that’s his prerogative let him be.
    I’d love 1000 hot sex partners, but I NEED one true love. When you’re sick and have to forget about sex, you want somebody with a beautiful soul.
    Great guidelines as usual👍

  • @keltecdan
    @keltecdan 11 місяців тому +12

    I have the F boy vibe but I don’t have the looks to back it up so I can’t even use it because most women aren’t physically attracted to me. Give me this guys good looks and I’d be an absolute beast.

    • @settispaghetti2273
      @settispaghetti2273 6 місяців тому +2

      90% of attraction is beating the competition. Be stronger, thinner, more intense than other males in the womans life.

    • @Duck72432
      @Duck72432 6 місяців тому +1

      I really don’t think looks are near as important as people think to women, I’m good looking so nobody believes me . But I’ve experimented making fake ugly dating accounts and used my friends accounts that claim to be ugly that struggles to actually get the dates. And although yeah ugly you’ll get less matches and lower quality I still could still get a date nearly every day on those accounts .
      And that’s online which I believe is harder , in person the results would be even better but obviously I can’t do that

  • @jonathanblaze1648
    @jonathanblaze1648 2 роки тому +38

    In nature the feminine reacts to the masculine. Women tend to follow the man's lead. If he's being nice, i.e non-sexual, she will friend zone him because that's the direction he was leading to. If he's her type and he is sexual with her, she will be much more inclined to reciprocate and be sexual with him. Ultimately women want a man's approval, above ALL else. His behavior shows he approves of being friends or he approves of being sexual. She will go for his approval. Her questions seemed to be fishing for "does he approve of me as a sexual partner".

    • @joseph6243
      @joseph6243 2 роки тому +6

      @@chillie000 You just took what he said in essence and made it more politically correct lol.

    • @D33Lux
      @D33Lux 2 роки тому

      @@chillie000 Problem is, in this woke, PC, bullchit society "Grown man to step up and take her" maybe construed as sexual harassment, even rape. Look at what Johnny Depp just went through, and there's thousands of men who've been dragged through the injustice system just because of accusations from a bitter woman. Alot of modern women are nuts, they want to be conquered, but when King Kong shows up to take them, she wants the police to show up to shoot him down.

    • @joseph6243
      @joseph6243 2 роки тому

      @@chillie000 His interpretation was more nuanced, yours was the same statement just more PC.

    • @DesmondReed-y7e
      @DesmondReed-y7e 10 місяців тому

      Is she clueless to the romantic messaging? It implies sex, but she doesn't get it from her side. Takes 2 to tango.

    • @CellGames2006
      @CellGames2006 2 місяці тому

      It doesn't look like the guy wants sex, he just wants to snuggle with her in pajamas... maybe he's not turned on like that by her.

  • @hidetoedwarduno7681
    @hidetoedwarduno7681 11 місяців тому +9

    yes the hard part is u first have to be asexual (sassy & fun but not sexual), that makes u an uncreepy challenge, BUT the moment she wants u (could be instantly but usually later), u have to read her signs than be the sexual F boy, the awareness to read the woman is everything.

  • @joshKirito
    @joshKirito 2 роки тому +19

    Literally explained this perfectly. Took me long to realize this but now that I have things make sense. Gotta have that courage to express yourself and part of yourself is your sexuality. It also seems like the girl is just making sure the guy even has the capacity to let out his sexuality and like make sure it’s there without being extremely obvious, cause if he can’t even get it out in that moment will he ever? People want that build up and to be Desired for there whole self. Thanks for another great explanation!

    • @joshKirito
      @joshKirito 2 роки тому +6

      It’s also like how us men enjoy it when a girl we like flirts with us and gives us sexual hints, isn’t it only “nice” to return the favor or do it first sometimes instead of just waiting for the other person? Lol

    • @mynonleatherlife
      @mynonleatherlife  2 роки тому +3

      Exactly Josh!!

  • @paulwilliams3846
    @paulwilliams3846 2 роки тому +26

    Thanks for reminding me to stop hiding my sexual power behind the facade of being the nice guy! A little bit sassy is good!

  • @sirnukesalot24
    @sirnukesalot24 2 роки тому +9

    Thank you for not giving up on us. Any time somebody horrifically and horrendously misunderstands this stuff just means there's more work to do.
    A lot of the rules we as a society put into place to exclude harmful people is backfiring, since the ones we want to exclude are the least responsive to such pressures. Instead, the product of the blood, sweat and tears of the maternal ancestors, the human male, is getting tangled up in that net. It means that those rules aren't the right ones to be playing by, and we all have to get together and work out what the real rules were supposed to look like.
    It's a shame that, years ago, when I started to encounter some of these arguments, I was still so focused on the romantic ideals that I grew up with that I could only meet it with distrust.
    ... and that's coming from someone who managed to read a Jane Auel novel way before he was old enough to know about that kind of stuff. So those "ideals" I mentioned aren't just the old fashioned concepts I watched my parents play out.

  • @thomasstarch7477
    @thomasstarch7477 9 місяців тому +1

    i see now ive been doing this wrong my whole life. this will take me a while to fix and get out of the habit of, but thank you for letting me and the rest of the men here know.

  • @UnlistedAccount
    @UnlistedAccount 11 місяців тому +5

    I was like this before I found the RP. In my assessment, my "niceness" came from a place of pain, but not like desperate or needy for her vibe. More like a type of pain that was similar to grieving or heartbreak, but I hadn't lost anyone for years. But I think a part of me was looking for a partner to help me deal with it. Like even if it was just someone to cuddle with because that's kind of like being held. And this was keeping my mind in this romance "sweet" dream world because that would be the kind of woman who could help me. Aa opposed to a strip club kind of girl, that didn't seem the way to get through this. But if it is caused by unresolved emotional pain I can understand why it's not attractive. Solved it by putting dating on pause to not use them to deal with it. Acknowledged the feeling when I noticed it. And agreed with myself some reasons I could use to invite women along. Like, to have fun for example.

  • @andrewshantz9136
    @andrewshantz9136 2 роки тому +14

    Nice guy syndrome is ultimately delayed or stalled maturation. He is bringing fears he absorbed in childhood into adult interactions without realizing it. He isn’t adapting to the adult world and his own genuine desires. Over time, shame and resentment build up due to lack of success w women and in many situations. The guys is ultimately harming himself. It can be really severe in serious cases.

    • @D33Lux
      @D33Lux 2 роки тому

      I blame society. Everything is a social construct, who even has an original thought that won't be criticized or sanitized by someone. Civilization is not so civil, its critical and condemns what isn't socially acceptable by cultural standards, which will vary from region to region. Especially right now, men are the most weakest, simpletons in all of human history. alot of modern women carry masculine traits.

    • @GuerreroDelInfo
      @GuerreroDelInfo 11 місяців тому +2

      Some guys just want to be the change they wish to see in the world

  • @theseattlegreen1871
    @theseattlegreen1871 2 роки тому +11

    Your voice is extremely soothing

    • @CCJJ160Channels
      @CCJJ160Channels 2 роки тому +2

      She has nice hands too

    • @mynonleatherlife
      @mynonleatherlife  2 роки тому +3

      Lol thank u guys!

    • @BRIANDER100
      @BRIANDER100 2 роки тому +1

      @@CCJJ160Channels hands ? all hands look the same to me. what's the difference between nice hands and bad hands ?

    • @HeartPiece4u
      @HeartPiece4u 2 роки тому +2

      Yes I listen everyday. I even fall asleep to her voice. I feel like eventually I'll find one like her 😘

    • @Calavinio
      @Calavinio 2 роки тому +2

      Asmr: why you have no game

  • @smoakpipe
    @smoakpipe 2 роки тому +5

    I grew up with a lot of women too but I never let my mom or sister all my girl cousins/aunts try and give me shit. They know better and so do I.

  • @T.P.1302
    @T.P.1302 3 місяці тому +1

    Yessss! I just confirmed that everything I was doing all along is correct. For example, I always start with slight touching, hugging, etc. and I always go for a kiss at the first date, always! That way I know for sure where I stand and I let her know what Im all about regarding her. Do I get nervous from time to time? Yes, of course, but I always suck it up and make a move. So many of my friends are hesitant to do so and as you said they look for 100% sure green lights and I always believed that's a mistake. I cannot allow myself to miss an opportunity and then for whatever reason don't get another chance, which of course can happen. Taking a risk and making a move after doing some physical interaction is the way to go! What does NIke say? JUST DO IT! 😁😁😁😁

  • @brianmccormick8328
    @brianmccormick8328 2 роки тому +4

    Good info for the nice and shy guys out there.

  • @oussamaabdsslem4637
    @oussamaabdsslem4637 Рік тому +2

    100 Out of 10.
    well done I truly learned something today.

  • @alienturtle1946
    @alienturtle1946 Рік тому +12

    I'd really love to see more live examples of how a dominant/f-boy would handle things. Unfortunately it's easy to witness simp/nice guy behavior. But (I think) it wouldn't be effective in most situations to go all in and just say, "Hey bitch, nice tits." So seeing what the "edge" looks like when done well rather than just being told the importance of having it or the implications of lacking it would be helpful.

    • @mynonleatherlife
      @mynonleatherlife  Рік тому +4

      it would most definitely not be effective. in this situation he could have shared a real fantasy that showed how into her he is tho since she asked but i agree with u more examples would def be good rather than talking in abstractions which I realized aren't good cause everyone has their own definitions of these things and thinks of different things when u say a word like dominance (my mistake)

    • @rossjohn9840
      @rossjohn9840 10 місяців тому

      It depends on how you say it and when as well as whag kind of relationship you have with the woman. Ive said this more than once and everyone just laughs.

  • @Armando_Lara
    @Armando_Lara 2 роки тому +4

    Thanks Vic, I wish I knew this kind of stuff before 25 yo.

  • @abhishekraj133
    @abhishekraj133 2 роки тому +3

    You are saving and transforming men. Thank you.

  • @DavidSmith-qo1se
    @DavidSmith-qo1se Рік тому +5

    The main response that I have is that what works in one situation with one person doesn't always work with another. I've tried using the same words and actions that were successful with a previous lover on someone new and inevitably got rejected. Even down to the nitty gritty... like things a guy might try in bed. What you expect to work doesn't, and what you never tried with one person because it was rejected so often, you later learn that was what she wanted all along.
    I've even been scolded and embarrassed with a lecture (years later and on more then one occasion) about how an individual was waiting for something, but I never tried it. Sorry, I left my Ouija board at home.

  • @alexandertye3244
    @alexandertye3244 2 роки тому +23

    Video suggestion:
    In the last live you talked about past shaming and the promiscuous woman and you said you wanna do a video about that.
    Could you cover themes like, past acceptance, body count, and how this effect loyalty. Cheating and how to deal with it.
    Open relationship and that cuck thing for both genders as an alternative for people who doesn't care about loyalty.
    How does this effect the real love away from sexual variety.
    Can a human be loyal after years of sex?
    What's the difference between meaningful relationships and fast sex!
    I tried to ask questions to give an idea of what I'm thinking of. I'm sure you got the idea.
    For me my ex slept with so many men and I never shamed her nor spoke about them, and then she cheated.
    I see this happening with a lot of lovers.
    Please if you're going to speak about it, take that eagle view from up. Like a Novelist with no preferences.
    Thanks 💜🍕

    • @JetBlackThreat
      @JetBlackThreat Рік тому +2

      She was missing something in her that she was trying to find in one man but she cant seem to find.
      Wasnt your fault. The most promiscious are actually the most loyal once she finds that person.

    • @KingCoCo
      @KingCoCo 11 місяців тому +1

      Vet women early to see if she shares the same values. If you value a woman with a low body count and she’s slept with 50 dudes, then obviously you won’t work long term. Sure she can just be a pump n dump, but if you’re looking for something more, you need to be clear about that in your own mind first, then you can navigate the waters more effectively. It really comes down to values that you and only you can determine.

  • @cedricburkhart3738
    @cedricburkhart3738 3 місяці тому +1

    My dad's not like what your describing at all and yet my mom loves him. I think he had Google says that were bigger than her and that made him more attractive. I know he makes her feel a lot safer.

  • @etomedo888
    @etomedo888 9 місяців тому

    Great advice Victoria......it's a pleasure listening to you here. Thanks for be so 'real' with men.

  • @elerian9702
    @elerian9702 2 місяці тому

    BEST EXPLANATION EVER!

  • @vikingsofvintageaudio7470
    @vikingsofvintageaudio7470 Рік тому +5

    Fantastic breakdown! I think that seizing the moment is what sets a "sucessful" guy apart from one that "finishes last". As well as not being afraid to sexualize / objectify women. Don't get me wrong - what I mean with sexualize / objectify is that he should have said what he really would like to do with / to her "in that bunk bed". He instead comes across as not attracted to her / women in general. EDIT: Also, I think this is what most guys find most intimidating. Like they "lack the confidence". What is needed in such a situation is "just" to say what you think - and if you are attracted to that woman then you say "I'd like to x with you y and then z on ...." if that's how you feel... And then make a move... This I think is what guys need help with and maybe by watching your videos they understand that what they want is also what women want - and then they can get the confidence to go for it. I truly believe that guys have been brainwashed, tricked and shit tested to the degree where most men don't dare to believe that being and acting as who you are is attractive to women and that it is something wrong with it. And instead they just come of as "un-manily" basically.

    • @JolPil
      @JolPil 6 місяців тому

      So un manly that procreation drops, the depopulationists win, the third wave feminists win, but our mothers never told us the secrets Victoria tells us, you would think a mother wants her son to truly win girls hearts, but no! Mothers give the worst advice to sons and raise sons to be losers and nice guy incels with women!!! We must talk of the betrayal of our mothers!!!

  • @franciscomarrone9327
    @franciscomarrone9327 2 роки тому +12

    if you wait for that flashing green light, if you wait, be prepared to see Chad accomplish what you couldnt, without waiting for that green light, trust me. Let's not wait for things to happen, lets make things happen.

    • @WalkingTall-f1j
      @WalkingTall-f1j 10 місяців тому +2

      and it's a show also. That's one female's preference. That's like saying one guy can speak for the entire male population. We all have the same brain, heart, liver, etc, but we think the way we choose to think.

  • @LS-iu5uk
    @LS-iu5uk 2 роки тому +1

    Great Video. There are a lot of mixed signals out there, love coming here to figure it all out.

  • @arremangamelpicoapeos9853
    @arremangamelpicoapeos9853 2 роки тому +6

    Here's the thing... there's misunderstood/unadressed/unrealised empathy that acts as a veil that fundamentally keeps everyone disconnected from eachother... why would men need a hint? what's really going on if that's the case? It's not just men that don't get hints. If someone lacks soul empathy, they will always project an image and hope that the person in front of them (merely a symbol for a soul with their eyes closed) approves of them by acting out a certain way. In other words, people don't connect with eachother because their soul is lacking development, so the only thing they got left is acting in front of someone without really realising that's actually someone else and not just an npc.
    Why is this important? Because this is what opens up the question and every possible scenario of "how should I be?" instead of straight up being. So now we got options, I could be a nice guy, an f boy, a metalhead, a hippie, whatever. The problem here is that you're just acting out something weird whilst feeling awkward all the way.
    This is not some sort of hipster commentary, but every single character has made sense at some point in a couple's life because that's how many of them originated, it was epic in its own way, that's why they talk about it. But no matter how good a story teller you are, you can't put your point of view in the head of someone who's listening to you... so let's say you tell someone a romantic anecdote with some really cheesy details in between, or idk, corny stuff. Even if the moment wasn't cheesy at all, when told it may come up as cheesy because you just can't put some things into words... as cheesy as that sounds lmao. What's the problem with this? That people get dumb ideas and they think of these things as magic spells or something... you don't DO stuff; say this, give her that, etc., you flow and the magic happens. To be able to flow you need your soul. To be able to connect with someone else you need your soul. People live soulless lives, and there's nothing creepier than soulless nice words.**
    When people grow up interacting with the outside world and other people through a phone screen, they are not getting true feedback and that's EXTREMELY dangerous, they're looking at eyes without really looking into someone's eyes while the other person does the same. Did you know that if a puppy grows up with a pair of perfectly good eyes bandaged, past a certain age if their eyes never see light, they'll never be able to "activate" and see light at some point? The dog will be blind until its last day. Well, there's an "eye" that people aren't using when looking at another human through a screen. Their eyes are seeing, but the soul's eye isn't getting any light. The result? The mess you see nowadays.
    **The same vibes behind the slogans full of empty promises of a glorious future of the north korean dictatorship

    • @sarya156
      @sarya156 8 місяців тому

      The hard part is learning to see other people

  • @urniurl
    @urniurl 2 роки тому +4

    So pleased to see your channel growing Victoria.

  • @balancer182
    @balancer182 11 місяців тому

    Thank you Victoria, and also Joseph for his breakdown.

  • @solidbanjobanjo9367
    @solidbanjobanjo9367 11 місяців тому +1

    I have a lot of success with women in my later years, I don’t look at them as equals but I still respect them, I respect them as mothers and wife’s, if they’re not going to offer me children good food and a nice clean home I see no reason to date them, In return I take care of them in all ways, they don’t even have to think when they are with me, they know they will have a good time. The moment I stopped trying to be friends with women was the moment the penny dropped

  • @Hawkkaii-ih2ps
    @Hawkkaii-ih2ps 6 місяців тому

    Nice guys just finish last, hope you're doing well and had a wonderful mothers day weekend.

  • @neilbradley
    @neilbradley 6 місяців тому +2

    The girl in the video on the phone literally gave the nice guy exactly what he needs to do to get out of the friend zone. Once I learned you have to be willing to step over the line a little bit, my entire dating life changed. Funniest was when I went out with a woman who said she (at one time) was a nurse. "Were you a naughty nurse, too?" I asked. She paused and kinda stumbled and said something to the effect of "Uh... well, not now... but that's... a little bit of a turn on." I replied "Well bummer. I hope that naughty nurse is still around." She blushed.

  • @ChikeinMotion
    @ChikeinMotion 6 місяців тому +3

    I mean getting labeled as a predator for sexual assault has been a factor

  • @8House
    @8House 10 місяців тому +1

    Old man here, but I still have red blood lust and lots of physical energy. Everything we have been taught as men is both BS and serving to put a lid on our primal masculine energy. This realization has come to me late in life, but like I said I'm not your average old guy. Been bingeing on your content. Are you going to continue making videos? You're like no other female content creator I've watched. Wow.

  • @exploringwithdave5926
    @exploringwithdave5926 Рік тому +2

    Your videos are awesome. Thank you, really. I needed to hear this for sure.

  • @nurrechtsistgerecht2268
    @nurrechtsistgerecht2268 Рік тому

    Thanks, it is absolutely supporting my idea about, what I am doing wrong. With that security I can start to unlearn that attitude.

  • @altruism8637
    @altruism8637 10 місяців тому +5

    the reason we want a cue from her is because if we go in no fucks given, we don't want to deal with a sexual harrassment claim. you have to admit there a THIN line between the two and its potentially very consequential for the male depending on what mood she's in.

    • @alexandra5127
      @alexandra5127 9 місяців тому

      Yea, I can see that one bad experience could leave a guy burned for a long time

  • @vlnow
    @vlnow 2 роки тому +28

    Western society is a mess

    • @kontemplerish
      @kontemplerish 2 роки тому +2

      it sure is

    • @vlnow
      @vlnow 2 роки тому +5

      @@kontemplerish but the food is good

    • @4DTravelr
      @4DTravelr 6 місяців тому

      Exactly lol

  • @PravoSlavicon
    @PravoSlavicon 2 роки тому +9

    *My weird, overintelectualised thoughts*
    I a LOT into Jungian psychology and i think this is a case of idea of individuation (lifelong proces od becoming fuller, better SELF).
    That means 'nice guy' must become more action oriented in that case be more straightforward, or even brutal/animalistic in expresing his sexuality. While the Alpha-Chad more romantic, gentle etc.
    PS: Not really know how this will work for woman cases.

    • @mynonleatherlife
      @mynonleatherlife  2 роки тому +4

      No need to apologize for overthinking on this channel lol. I agree. For women I think u have to develop ur aggressive assertive side as well… women have their own version of “nice girl” which they often refer to as good girl conditioning

    • @PravoSlavicon
      @PravoSlavicon 2 роки тому

      @@mynonleatherlife
      Two things came to my mind.
      If that's true...
      For (bit extreme) example, The most Angry-Nazi-Feminst need to discover her inner self as:
      a) wet, soaky, nurturing vulva
      b) obedient 'f**kpet'
      So...
      xD

    • @thehierophant1314
      @thehierophant1314 2 роки тому +5

      As a Jungian also, I think the problem is not Individuation, he is not even in the process of it if he cannot confront and integrate his own shadow. The man does not want to view himself as a “Sexual Freak” so he hides it in his subconscious. He thinks wanting a woman must be something very dirty. I think he is not accepting that he is white and black and grey all over. He is refusing to accept he is a human and a monster at the same time. The “nice guy” is just a persona, and personas are never the real person. He need to have the Passions within coming out, that way his life force can interact with the woman. What I am saying is, he is not free to truly desire that woman, and he knows it, and she knows it, he needs to reach a point where he can integrate with his Anima, the feminine part of him, and she will teach him many things about life, then, he can individuate. But Individuation is kind of like a process of becoming and projecting the true self into the world. But how can you express yourself if you don’t even have an identity. Persona is just that, a mask, it’s not who you are, and right now, the woman is feeling his persona, but not the real person. In other words, it really does not even matter if he has to prove to the woman his sexual desire, all he has to do is express himself first, which he is not congruent enough in sub communication and even tone. He is scared to say the real feelings he has, he is scared to let it out, and he is scared to show her that he is a dog just like everyone else. He is so invested in his persona, rather than his real true self, both ugly and beautiful. A man who has mastered his Individuality will not hesitate to express it all.

    • @PravoSlavicon
      @PravoSlavicon 2 роки тому +1

      @@thehierophant1314 Makes lot sense if his niceness is product of his unconcious mechanisms - i mean model you described. I was talking more of natural niceness (healthy but more androgenous man) than a coping mechanism.
      But i think situation what you described is way more common.

    • @D33Lux
      @D33Lux 2 роки тому

      @@mynonleatherlife True, society will demonize a women who is honest. Women have sexual desires too, most won't say it, but deep down they want a man to conquer them like a warrior, as you put it, "raw sexual energy" that men possess. Just like men enjoy raw, sweaty, licking all over your body sex, women want that too, but its somewhat still taboo. Many may feel ashamed for doing it so they have to play the innocent, good girl game due to religious belief's or public shaming. Seeing how alot of society find masculinity as "toxic", being "aggressive" is dangerous for men in the dating world.

  • @Giant_Original
    @Giant_Original 2 роки тому +16

    Women want emotionally rollercoaster relationship which sucks for nice guys.

    • @mynonleatherlife
      @mynonleatherlife  2 роки тому

      Trust me they often DO NOT

    • @Giant_Original
      @Giant_Original 2 роки тому +3

      @@mynonleatherlife really!?

    • @mynonleatherlife
      @mynonleatherlife  2 роки тому +1

      Absolutely

    • @miamitten1123
      @miamitten1123 2 роки тому +12

      @@mynonleatherlife is that why drama shows/movies and reality tv are sooo popular with women. I think you’re being slightly disingenuous

    • @vincemaria3981
      @vincemaria3981 8 місяців тому +2

      They want to be emotionally stimulated. You can do this without being a dick but it can be exhausting. Finding a mature conservative woman is key if long term is what you want

  • @trooperex123
    @trooperex123 6 місяців тому

    Bernard is in lovers and liars rn. Glad to see this video

    • @mynonleatherlife
      @mynonleatherlife  6 місяців тому +1

      benedict yea. are u liking the show

    • @trooperex123
      @trooperex123 5 місяців тому

      ​@@mynonleatherlifeyea wrong name. Bernard is thegirl, benedict isthe guy

    • @trooperex123
      @trooperex123 5 місяців тому

      ​@@mynonleatherlifemore like i wait for its release. Love those sassy girls

  • @mrbonzzai
    @mrbonzzai 6 місяців тому

    This lady is so smart.

  • @johnspivack
    @johnspivack 10 місяців тому +4

    You are genuine. Insightful, kind, well intentioned. That's rare. I've already gotten my own sh*t taken care of but appreciate your content for its own sake.
    P.S> Too bad that other female presenters who are truly not one tenth as good and helpful as you (courtney ryan, anna jorgensen, sadia khan, etc.) are superstars will crowds of followers when you are the one who could really make a difference... but that's life.

    • @mynonleatherlife
      @mynonleatherlife  10 місяців тому

      people can pick up some great tips or insight from everyone's perspective but thanks a lot for the kind words

  • @riccardodececco4404
    @riccardodececco4404 6 місяців тому

    you mentioned the central problem in this, Victoria - the waiting for the "green light" - and guys are simply clueless how women give "green lights" - in retrospect I recognise a lot of green lights given in the past, which slipped me at the time. Maybe you could make a video about how women communicate their "green lights". Most guys would be surprised in what seemingly "innocent" remarks and questions women communicate such vital matters

  • @kentang1528
    @kentang1528 Рік тому +1

    From Singapore here..just subscribed to your channel...very useful and informative. Made me aware of what is going on in the female pysche , learning to be dominant and assertive and decisive. Been watching your older vids as well for motivation and inspiration. Been so long since you last uploaded a vid, I will wait patiently.

    • @mynonleatherlife
      @mynonleatherlife  Рік тому

      Thanks ken, ur right, I haven’t uploaded one in ages but I have been learning a lot from my followers by doing UA-cam lives

  • @HoneyBadger1901_
    @HoneyBadger1901_ 11 місяців тому

    WOW…THANK YOU FOR YOUR HONESTY.

  • @Lightandlovetoyou
    @Lightandlovetoyou 11 місяців тому

    Thank you for all

  • @futuregootecks
    @futuregootecks Рік тому +1

    So helpful thank you for the perspective and insight! 🎉

  • @whale_talk
    @whale_talk 2 роки тому +2

    Great video Sis

  • @claytonmurray5004
    @claytonmurray5004 9 місяців тому +1

    You can be nice and express sexual interest/flirtation as well. Just dont leave the carnal need behind, as she says. They are both looking for it

  • @leonardoortega4593
    @leonardoortega4593 Рік тому +1

    Hello Victoria, I just want to encourage you to keep sharing your toughts. I have reflected a lot about your perspective on women's sexuality, and I am excited to test everything I have learnt to improve my relationships!

    • @mynonleatherlife
      @mynonleatherlife  Рік тому

      thank you very much Leonardo...did the perspective convince u or make u see anything differently

    • @leonardoortega4593
      @leonardoortega4593 Рік тому

      @@mynonleatherlife I just discovered your channel today and I have seen a lot of your previous videos so far. I do not consider I have too much experience with women (I am 23), but I can think of previous experiences with female friends and partners that reinforce most of the ideas you share in your videos. I try to take them just as a perspective and not as an absolute true. What I enjoy about your content is that allows me to think more in a “female” perspective, so with time, hopefully, I can make my sexual and emotional relationships more enjoyable for both parts.

  • @nasa2824
    @nasa2824 2 роки тому +5

    ive heaard the saying women can't teach men much on this subject because obviously they dont think like us,but you have given my a huge insight in female sexuality.

    • @mynonleatherlife
      @mynonleatherlife  2 роки тому +1

      Yes they tell me on my channel all the time lol never ask the fish so I really appreciate you saying this and I’m so happy u have gotten so much insight from the channel!! Was there anything in particular that helped you the most

    • @nasa2824
      @nasa2824 2 роки тому +4

      Yes all my younger days it was drummed into me be polite and watch your language around women now I know this is not the case,all those years wasted

    • @ohlangeni
      @ohlangeni 2 роки тому +1

      @@nasa2824 nailed it

  • @AngelCoyoteMusic
    @AngelCoyoteMusic 11 місяців тому +1

    Very insightful!

  • @juancpgo
    @juancpgo 2 роки тому +19

    I think playing the nice guy is ultimately exposing weakness. It's like begging for being seen with admiration for the part of you that's "nice" (which may even be authentic), but without paying the price of courage.
    Niceness enhances your masculinity or lack thereof. So, if you have little confidence and is nice, your niceness suggests weakness. It suggests you want people to admire and respect you, but don't have the courage to earn it. But if you're confident, masculine, and you're nice, then your niceness suggests generosity, which makes your power more evident.
    In other words,
    niceness + courage = virtue (sexual power)
    niceness + cowardice = weakness

    • @mynonleatherlife
      @mynonleatherlife  2 роки тому +2

      interesting thought

    • @guntertorfs6486
      @guntertorfs6486 2 роки тому +1

      I agree.

    • @D33Lux
      @D33Lux 2 роки тому +1

      Niceness doesn't work, no one respects or admires the nice guy, he's taken advantage of by women, and men see it as weakness. I'm fair with others, but when it comes to my life I work at being the best, #1, the mind of a champion, no 2nd place, no participation trophy, my life, my way. Not saying people have to put up with me, but its my life so I live it like I want to, if people want to be part of it then good, if not then don't. Traditionally nice was a polite way to play stupid. Think about the context that its used in, if you don't agree or go along with something "Oh, be nice", so you're guilted into compromising your standards and beliefs.

    • @arsenal4444
      @arsenal4444 2 роки тому

      or with a further extent in that same direction,
      a pacifist
      aka a coward patting themselves on the back

    • @MrParkerman6
      @MrParkerman6 Рік тому +1

      Completely Wrong! Men like me are Genuinely nice and are NOT "playing" and we shouldn't have to change who we are of being Naturally nice for anyone!
      Not all Nice Guys are surpressed or Phoney!

  • @EJ313
    @EJ313 Рік тому

    I was one of your first subs and apparently am just now soaking up the game

  • @lokemmslokemms4294
    @lokemmslokemms4294 Рік тому

    hope you keep making videos because your channel given the REAL perspective on things. the so called love gurus out there are a joke compare to you.

  • @alex.joe.my.way8966
    @alex.joe.my.way8966 11 місяців тому

    I'm just amazed at the speed of wich most women pick this things up.
    Even the most alphas of alphas has to tune in to the language of women while they just be on another dimension computing whatever on they mind.

  • @LW7333LW
    @LW7333LW 2 роки тому +2

    Good stuff and advice! Stop waiting for the neon green 💚 light. Lolol!

  • @col2959
    @col2959 Рік тому

    Watched 2 of your vids in a row. I’ll learn something here. New sub 👍🏼

  • @adityashandilya2789
    @adityashandilya2789 Рік тому

    It's been 11 months. Please don't stop posting 🙏

  • @kaneaftopouagapas3798
    @kaneaftopouagapas3798 Рік тому +1

    Victoria you are a gem

  • @MiddleMAGA
    @MiddleMAGA Рік тому

    The challenge I have is timing. Great information as usual thanks

  • @Jaceace87
    @Jaceace87 11 місяців тому

    Banger 🫡

  • @ZenSei03042
    @ZenSei03042 10 місяців тому

    Thank you, i just realized i do very well.

  • @jonanderson6882
    @jonanderson6882 2 роки тому

    You're doing good work Victoria. I appreciate your perspective. If I'm with a woman I know that I can be with one side of her or the other. So I think even when women are trying to be honest and she believes she's being honest, women reserve the right to change their minds completely at any given time. If I come off as too strong for her taste at that any given time, I can be sweet. If I can tell she wants to be in my frame, I can release the beast from the cage.

  • @RomeoFinance
    @RomeoFinance 9 місяців тому +1

    You’re better than all these red pill guys …I think they’re info doesn’t sit well with me coz they seem abit hurt

  • @sascha-s7v
    @sascha-s7v 11 місяців тому +4

    wow look at the way she is dressed and he is being mr nice guy, my mom gave me some priceless advice when i was younger, she said this about women- they just want your c___and when i was a teenager she said never to put up with a womans bs

  • @lorderchamion
    @lorderchamion 4 місяці тому

    It took me years to realize I had been duped by a societal programming that pushed the nice guy trope as something desirable to women. To be honest Im still trying to break free from it in some ways even 13 years into my marriage. Thankfully it was something my wife overlooked because I had it together in many other areas. I have always been fit, successful, sexually unashamed but in some ways I feared rejection. And the way to prevent that was to become harmless according to the feminists and woke culture. Well that's not attractive and also stunts masculine growth. Again I wasn't as worse off as some others. I created my green lights sexually and combined that with nice guy romanticism. However in areas where I had to put my foot down in relationships I shrunk. I avoided conflict. When society regards masculine men as toxic....they create a harmless man ideal that noone wants. I am fortunate to have a loving wife that has accepted me and fostered by growth in my masculinity. She herself was lied to about femininity and became more masculine. Our growth together as a married couple has set things straight with a more natural dynamic. In short, it's ok in fact desirable to be a masculine man as well as it is to be a feminine woman. It's not toxic. The alternative is

  • @kenr4709
    @kenr4709 Рік тому +2

    Hi Victoria, this was an excellent presentation, straight forward, telling a guy what he needs to do to open up and to let the raw side out for a girl. Letting her know that she’s hot and sexy. Great job! 10:01

  • @unknowninfinium4353
    @unknowninfinium4353 Рік тому +1

    Hey it's been awhile since you uploaded, its crazy times now but hope all is well.
    I want to remind you that therr are portion of people who appreciated what you do.

  • @theparkingman9283
    @theparkingman9283 Рік тому

    hey girl im watching your videos keep going they re very explanatory

  • @beenabarna1403
    @beenabarna1403 4 місяці тому +1

    Thank you

  • @ozanoguzhaktanir
    @ozanoguzhaktanir Рік тому

    Besides your being very informative, I also liked your talking from a meditative state. I rarely see people speaking from that deep subconscious. I am doing the same thing for the people I care about. So, I enjoyed your video.

  • @maigematthews5620
    @maigematthews5620 11 місяців тому

    Thank you!
    This was an awesome eye-opener!
    Can you elaborate more of indicators of this, “green light”?
    It’s obvious that us men in general don’t know what a, “subtle green light” looks, sounds and feels like.

    • @mynonleatherlife
      @mynonleatherlife  11 місяців тому

      If you see my latest live I go deep into the fallacy of the green light

  • @todrichards1105
    @todrichards1105 Рік тому +5

    Hi Victoria! I just found your channel and I’ve been eagerly consuming everything you’ve posted. I love it! I really appreciate your self awareness and you insights.
    Why have you stopped posting stuff. I’d really like to hear more.
    Hope you’re ok! Miss you!

  • @oldgreen100
    @oldgreen100 10 місяців тому

    I suspect this has sunk my attempts at dating my entire life.

  • @ace9848
    @ace9848 Рік тому +3

    Be polite not a creep but still sexual.
    Just be the guy that gets her without taking any of her bs.
    Most women have a responsive sexuality, the may leave you some clues to act upon. They provoke you so that you can seduce them.

  • @hackmedia7755
    @hackmedia7755 11 місяців тому +1

    This is it, "nice boys" isn't about being kind. It's failing to be sexual with a woman or being direct about what you want.

  • @coolnamehere7324
    @coolnamehere7324 2 роки тому

    Always always great content, thank you

  • @netking767
    @netking767 5 місяців тому

    A TON of wisdom here...been that guy...learned to be the fk boi too (thankfully)