What is Splitting with Borderline Personality Disorder?
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- Опубліковано 10 чер 2018
- This video describes “splitting” in the context of borderline personality disorder. When we talk about the concept of splitting and borderline personality disorder, it's important to recognize that splitting is a nonspecific term. Splitting is either a cognitive distortion or a psychodynamic defense mechanism, depending on how you conceptualize it, but either way the concept of splitting is related to dichotomous thinking. Splitting not the same thing as the symptom criterion in borderline personality disorder that refers to unstable and intense relationships. These types of relationships are an example of splitting, but we can also see other types of splitting behaviors with borderline personality disorder. I'm going to be talking about splitting as it refers to that symptom criterion: a pattern of unstable and intense relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation. I'm going to refer to this idealization devaluation cycle as the love-hate cycle. There are some characteristics that are specific to this particular symptom criterion or characteristic that we oftentimes see in conjunction with the symptom criterion. With this love-hate cycle, we oftentimes see that it's related to just one person at a time, and often a new relationship. Another characteristic of this love-hate cycle is that it can continue even when the relationship is over. Even though we think of this love-hate cycle as an example of splitting, sometimes we see ambivalence with this particular symptom criterion, so it's really focusing more on the unstable an intense relationship component and we don't always see the extremes of idealization and devaluation clearly defined. This is particularly the case in the devaluation phase of this cycle. Another characteristic specifically of the devaluation phase and the idealization/devaluation cycle is that it tends to be triggered by a fear of abandonment. The devaluation phase tends to co-occur with a lot of the other symptoms.
I’m glad I found your channel. I had an abusive childhood and my father idolized everyone else’s children, but NEVER his own. He abandoned us when I was a teen and once he found a new wife, he treated her children like gold and his own like dross. All 6 of his children, including myself, have spent a lifetime getting degrees, achieving high success in our careers just to prove we have worth. We all need a lot of attention, but are unable to form attachments. We don’t cry at funerals, we shrug our shoulders if a love interest rejects us, it seems VERY easy to remove people from our lives with a spoon and not think twice. I’ve always wondered why we are ALL that way. Your information has been very helpful. I’m tired of being told that I’m “just depressed”.
I can see how the devaluation phase and the idealization-devaluation cycle is triggered by a fear of abandonment.
I was raised by a bipolar mum and splitting is definitely a result of that childhood trauma. I suppose I started splitting as a reaction to my mum's shift from mania to depression.
I would hate her during a manic episode and love her when she was harmless and sad.
I can't help but think that I'm borderline, I know I shouldn't self-diagnose but I've got 7 of the 9 symptoms. When I have more money, I have promised myself that I will start therapy.
Would you please include some examples. Also, for me, splitting has been more prevalent in non romantic relationships. It's tied to emotional disregulation. Looking back I realize that friendship has been black or white. You are my best friend ever or I don't even know you. What I am discovering is the grey shades of friendship. I have coworkers, neighbors, aquantinces, people with common interests and a lover. I'm 58 years old and just figured this out. In the words of Jerry Garcia "What a long strange trip it's been".
I'm 53 and the death of my husband last year brought a journey of self evaluation. I find myself knee deep in BPD and NPD and I wish I'd had some of this info years ago. Better late than never I guess. Garcia had it right. A very long strange trip it's been.
It strikes me again from your description here that splitting reflects deep emotional immaturity: babies and early toddlers do this too, where either everything is wonderful or it is screaming rage (research using facial expression analysis has shown the when babies really cry they are angry). However, while this is a normal part of being 18 months old, it is something again to see it in an adult who's in their 30s, 40s, 50s 60s or 70s.
What a great find is your channel! As a mental health provider, I really appreciate how precise AND concise you are in your explanations. Thank you, Prof. Grande!
You are quite welcome! I specifically try to make the videos precise and concise, so am I glad you find them to be both.
I second that entire statement! I really have a great deal of appreciation for him and his making these videos! I'm very thankful.
@@DrGrande thank you, Dr. Grande!
I’m very insecure at the moment for a few understandable reasons. Im so easily triggered, especially if perceived sign of rejection or feeling insignificant to my significant others occurs very soon after particular closeness, be that emotional or physical intimacy. The uplifted mood, drops and I feel like rejecting them, even though I might do things to help them, which I tend to view negatively as a strategy to win approval. I hate my approval seeking.
Tricky stuff.
Great to find your channel.helping me a lot in understanding just bookish words i read more clearly..thanks a lot!
Splitting can be a self-preservation strategy for someone with borderline personality disorder.
Jackie Sorrells it is something that is programmed from the past experiences.
Very informative video on a topic I was unfamiliar with. These video truly are enlightening, clear, and understandable.
Yes I agree. Dr. Grande is concise yet comprehensive, and lays out concepts in a very relatable, coherent manner.
Thank you for the video and all the information you provide on mental health topics. Is there any literature you would recommend on BPD specifically? It can be aimed at either an audience of people close to someone with BPD or professionals. Thanks in advance and please continue your great work :)
Dichotomous thinking strikes me as the wrong descriptive term. I believe 'Binary' or perhaps 'Antithetical' thinking more so encapsulates the black&white nature of the perceptive disposition.
Pedantic as it may sound.
Or perhaps dichotomous thinking is actually the medical term and I'm just unaware.
Great vid. Fair play.
I understand that splitting can be conceptualized as a cognitive distortion or defense mechanism. I think that I understand how the idealization and devaluation cycle is an example of splitting. It might be helpful to provide other examples of splitting, if you have not already done so elsewhere.
Wanda Mixon I somewhat black and blow up my partners phone with texts. Texts that stem from being certain that he is doing me dirty and bailing out forever. I would say terrible things and cross his boundries.
This is interesting and good to know the distinction, all I knew of splitting would be in connection with dissociative identity disorder.
Same Kelly! I actually thought about the movie split when watching this video.
Thank You for your channel. I think certain disorders become popular un social media, with many people finding common ground with their beloved youtubers or social media influencers. What I notice lately is many young people saying they have Dissociative Disorder ( split personalities). Could it be that this spliting is actually a defense mechanism? They feel intense feelings, and deal with it this way? It's not Dissociative disorders but actually bpd?
Thank you for your BPD videos. They have helped both my husband and myself understand my mother-in-law better. We are currently no-contact with her but she will text to say that she wants to see our kids, then she will send "f**k yourselves" texts when she learns that other family members have visited us/the kids. Then she'll text another apology; rinse/repeat. I don't know how to deal with this other than ignoring her.
Great video very informative.
Thank you!
It's funny (curious) to hear about an idealization-devaluation cycle being spoken about so clinically, when to those on the receiving end of such a cycle it feels like being put through a meat-grinder. How do psychologists who work with BPDs or (especially) NPDs cope with being subjected to such cycles in a patient? BPDs and NPDs have a knack for making any relationship personal, so that when they cut a therapist down, it is probably not easy to maintain a professional clinical stance.
They don't work with them, at least/especially NPD's. They're reluctant to diagnose them and when they do they usually don't bother with therapy because its almost always a waste of time and energy at best
I’m not sure about npds. I think to seek therapy you have to be suffering and I don’t think npds fit this category. As for bpds a therapist skilled in dialectical behaviour therapy is usually an expert in dealing with this type of mental illness and tries to connect the personalities into one. I would also caution again generalizations. For example my relationship with my therapist is very professional and clear on boundaries. I have never tried to make it a personal one, whatever that means. It’s actually a relative simple process once you engage in therapy seriously and invest the time/effort.
Great video! Would splitting be like all or nothing thinking?
That's a great description. It fits perfectly.
I've always had an all or nothing mindset.
The funny thing being that you end up with 'Nothing' 'All' the time.
John Harris Jr like having a black out.
@@annamermaid2918 This. I was prone to splitting when younger. The split creates something like another world. When in the split off world, the other world nearly ceased to exist. I recall sitting at my desk, feeling very anxious. Moments later, I was standing at another part of the room. I did not know how or why I was there. I didn't even recall leaving my seat and walking across the room. Living with the split from within, I lived in denial that a split off part of my being existed. I learned much obout this as time passed, as I healed. Healing meant integration, recognition and acceptance.
Still, I tend to overeat. This behavior expresses a split that I have not mastered. I also tend to procrastinate. Splitting again.
My therapist seems to think that I may have BPD in addition to my bipolar II disorder but I simply cannot relate to the "fear of abandonment" thing at all and yet that seems to be one of the cornerstones of diagnosis of BPD. I have never tried to hold on to anyone who doesn't want to be with me. If anything, I end the relationship before I have a chance to be rejected. Just wondering if I can still be dx'd with BPD if this major component is missing.
I feel like the devaluation phase is also a defense mechanism. The intensity of the mood swings is unbearable most days.
How can I get someone out of devaluating me ?
What is neurosis? And what is its relationship with psychosis?
Neurosis is just feeling a bit odd. All the time. Never knowing why. Always nagging at you. It skews your life.
Psychosis is actually being a bit odd. Some of the time. Doesn't really nag at you. It takes you over. It changes your life.
The relationship between the two? Well, they are very different beasts.
Neurosis is more of a chronic condition. Psychosis is more acute.
But people with Major depressive disorder can slip over to psychosis. It's not unheard of. I've crossed the boundary.
The two conditions are very much related. But then again, they are both quite far apart as well.
Psychotic people build castles in the sky; then, the neurotics move in. 😮🤔
I don't devalue them, they devalue themselves...
"iHate You. don'% Leave Me. Wqs thw book suggested to my es husband upon diagnoais.
Black and white so I can tell when something ain't rite
God*** keep dissociating in the vid just realeyesd/ recognized that part of what I'm dealing with is identified as bpd
Can u have bpd & bipolar ? ⏮️
i play a online game and a met a person with borderline personality disorder, i am more like the caring type of person and nice guy. the person show narcisist traits towards me, ignoring messages, get agressive towards me. while we played a game, called revelation online, i was with her from beginning. she constantly changed between i hate you and i love you. that were sudden yells that came out of her. she had socalled friends, who she went with, 3 people or so. then one person joined and she attach herself to that one person online since now. she begin ignore everyone else, stop writing, stop wanting communicate. she blocked me and deleted me in discord and i could add her again, but she constantly ignore me, avoid do anything with me. she told me longer ago, that she will leave me at some point if i stay how i am. i try help always and be there for her. since she met the one person, all other friends slowly go away and go offline. she met new friends who give her a sense of belonging and care, but these people "muslims", just want their own enjoyement and dont care a bit for her. the game is filled with psychopath and sociopath, this would be a excellent place for research, revelation online. but that is not the issue for me at the moment, the question is, am i able, after got devalued, to be valued again, without having any possibility of contact or interaction? she met now new people, who drag her with them, but dont care for them and it seem to be like a magnet for her. she seem to attract negative people and push away positive. if i write things that are positive, she yell, youre annoying and the more i try to do, the more annoying i get and the more she would delete me from her friendlist, she told that multiple times as warning, she said, she have borderline. she dont want any help, she say always, i dont care, regardless of how i try to help.
And you still want this person? R.I.P in advance 😥
Please leave her alone as she requested. It sounds like you are writing evidence in a UA-cam channel about mental health that you are harassing a person with borderline personality disorder who stated she does not want to be around you and tried removing your ability to contact her.
It is interesting but, what do we do about it?
Can I buy Your books in Polish language?
Are you ariana grande's relative
So does this come from Melanie Klein?
For a person on the receiving end of a borderlines splitting, its hell on earth. Dysfunctional ppl indeed. Avoid if poss..... & keep valuables, possessions, family members & your kids away from disordered borderlines. Be safe.
Amen.