1) Imbalanced effort 2) Limited communication 3) Unfulfilled needs 4) There is no compromise 5) Feeling drained Another great video with an applicable topic for everyone. I wish I had woken up to this type of logic in my last relationship.
One sided relationships. Worse part about them, sometimes we know (I sure did) but we think we can "make it work out", or "make them change (man or woman)," I'll go ahead and tell you. No you can't. Get out while you still can.
@@Lancea1ot and I won't understand why we decide to take them back. I can't speak for women but for men, why would you do that? There's literally millions of beautiful people in this country but you decide to go back with a person who treated you like shit? Have some self respect.
As an older guy, I would have to say the majority of relationships I've seen in my life were pretty one sided. The men ended up doing and giving a lot more than the women did. It evened out somewhat in an ongoing marriage, but in dating it's all on the men. We're the ones who are expected to do the all of the asking, the pursuing, the planning, and the paying. So as a young man you have a choice to make - accept this, reject it and stay single, OR look to date opportunistically. Look for women who are more open to giving and reciprocating in the dating process. I don't think you'll find many women like this online. Those girls are just looking for attention and free goodies.
This is true. I'm about to turn 29 and I didn't get into serious dating until the last year or so... It's tough out there, women expect us to pay for everything, court them, cater to their schedule, give them amazing sex, and listen to all their complaints. Honestly, her life got much better after I started dating her... mine didn't, I was miserable, took me 8 months to realize and get out but I'm glad I did.
This is probably the most true statement... It's hard finding ones who reciprocate this. However, the way she is stating this, it needs some clarification if you have been in a relationship for a good amount of time. The "fundamental needs" need to be also communicated. Just like these issues. I spent the last relationship with someone who was giving, but not fully sharing and being honest. Which destroyed the relationship and in the end I was the one who got the bad end of the stick from everyone (even though she cheated). People need to just speak up when they are not feeling like the other person is not meeting their needs. And why do men take all the blame afterwards?
I was in a one sided marriage. I did all the effort and communicated. No effort in her part, I felt alone. My past marriage started good but it turned one sided as the years went on. Now I’m divorced. It all makes sense now that you mentioned it.
This reminds me of the relationship I got out of this year. I was so drained because I was pouring into my ex and she wasn’t doing much for me. I was fighting to go back to that euphoric stage where she was so “obsessed” with me but it didn’t work. I’m happy we’re no longer in each others lives but I still have resentment towards her for barely reciprocating and using me and my family.
A relationship is a 100/100 relationship, so whenever you feel you're giving your all and the other person is only giving 50% it's best to bail out. There are definitely times in relationships where one person is giving more than the other, but that shouldn't be the norm ever.
@@tommygunn6901because 100% is the entire relationship. so both give half of that so that half +half = whole aka the relationship so 50/50 means that both ppl do 100% of their allocated half
^tbh when people say it’s “100/100” it’s like yeah obviously, but we’re referring to the total amount of work to be done. So yeah it should be 50/50. Or maybe sometimes it’s more on one end but over time it should be roughly even
I always questioned whether breaking up with an ex a few years back was correct, based on whether it was one-sided. This video has actually given me total closure towards it. Thank you x
This video describes it perfectly! I was in a relationship like this, it was sooo draining. Its hard to constantly get rejected in your needs and feelings, because your partner is focussed on herself. You don’t feel valued which can have a negative impact on your confidence. It feels like you are working for the relation all the time, without getting anything in return….the moment I realized it had to stop was the moment I felt alone, taken for granted and exhausted. Keep up the good work Courtney :)
I knew I was in one, but I just chose to ignore the red flags. Totally damaged myself in process. Still rebuilding and staying away from relationships with women
My last one was painfully one sided. I ended it after a couple of months. Looking back, I knew after the third date where this was going but I wanted to believe she just needed time. I’m currently over 2 months in on my current relationship and could tell on the first date she was as into me and I was her. It’s stayed way. I’ll never let myself get into a one sided relationship again. At the rate things are going, this could end up being my last relationship! We’ll see
Girl thank you for posting this. There is nothing worst than somebody creating a relationship in their head. There is nothing worst than when somebody doesn't have an equal interest in having a relationship but they keep holding on to you and making moves like yall cool.
dealing with depression/grief over a friend i have a crush on, thank you for your advice especially in the second half, it all made sense to me especially the idea of me chasing someone who is running away, its pointless
@@dillyweiz8323 im sorry you have to deal with it too, im praying yiur situation gets better somehow or hopefully you can move on, its so painful and I'm really sorry
The best thing about love is there's always someone new around the corner. I finally gave up on someone I was pursuing and someone new came into my life. We're just co-workers but it feels nice to connect with someone and feel like the other person is happy to see me and talk to me.
I Needed this video months ago haha Dealt with this for 1.5 years and kept ignoring the signs because I was desperate. It’s sad how long I put up with this. I’m working on discovering my value this year. It’s been a journey….love the content Courtney!
Hi Courtney: In other words, love by necessity is a condradiction: surrender and empowerment in the same action. No relationship should make someone feel always vanquished and never unvanquished.
Thank you for doing this video. You are spot on. I leaned this the hard way and paid a big price when I got married. Some of what you said is true in any friendships as well. Giving Gets you Taken. So if you are the one doing all the giving you are being taken. I would also like to say if you see this get out as soon as possible. No matter how much it may hurt at the time it will bring more pain the longer you are together.
I have a friend that I have known for three years we go together we eat lunch together we visit, but this is a relationship. It’s all about her everything every element. Every sickness is all about her. Everything never anything positive never asking how I’m feeling never asking how I’m doing. It’s all about her When I try to be affection to get a hug. I have to ask for it. It’s never spontaneous. it’s so hard because I love so deeply and yet I give and give and give and even just simple things there’s no return and it’s so draining and yet I care so deeply, but yet I find myself in the cycle of wanting to be loved Wanting affection needing the touch and it’s not there. This is very hard for me. I know I’m gonna have to break up the relationship, but it’s a hard thing to do. I’m sure others can relate. It’s always about her everything all the time the world everything is bad bad bad and never about me.
You will know immediately if your relationship is one sided. You can communicate your frustrations and hope to change things. But in my experience, just leave. They may see everything you did once you’re gone. They may not care. It doesn’t matter. Just gotta find someone that reciprocates the effort you put into the relationship.
Courtney this is pure gold from a woman’s perspective. Guy please do yourselves a favor and listen to this sage advice. It will save you so much in wasted time.
Hey Courtney I was in a one sided and I got out the other day. I finally spoke up and I not tolerating it anymore. I see the lose as I GAINED something and I did not LOSE something. Everything is going to be okay! Staying longer would have been the mistake. Losing her will be short term pain. the long term pain would have been if I stayed and hoped for a different outcome that was never going happen. I took control finally of my life and ended it
Important things: 0:43 First Thing - Imbalanced Effort; 2:34 Second Thing - Limited Communication; 3:54 Third Thing - Unfulfilled Feeds; 4:53 Fourth Thing - There Is No Compromise; 7:04 Fifth Thing - Feeling Drained; and 9:00 to summarize all the told here. What you have told there Courtney, some of these things can also apply not just for men, and in friendships. It can also apply to women, and also at work (or job, call it whatever you want). Additional things among the mentioned things are these: Sixth Thing - Thinking All The Time That Is Our Fault For Happening; Seventh Thing - When Other Side Gives Excuses For Their Bad Behavior; Eight Thing - Constantly Asks For Some Things (for example either money, or jewelry, etc) From People; Ninth Thing - Not Taking A Responsibility (but that can be applied to first, second, and fourth thing), and Tenth Thing - Showing No Empathy At All. I can also agree that romantic comedy movies can't be like it's shown in either movies, cause life in series and movies is no match to life that we live in real life. Accept this tough truth. The color of the nails goes well with the pattern of the sweater 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏. La perfection madam ❤💙🤍💖💗💓.
So, every relationship I've been in has been one sided. Why should I try to find another? Women just don't care about me. It's only ALWAYS about them and unless I give everything to them, they just leave. I can't find any women who's REALLY interested in me, so I gave up on dating/relationships. I'm 42 now and know that I never will find a good woman who truly cares about me.
I’m 30 dude and yeah I’d just give up on finding women that actually genuinely care about you. You won’t find it. Most women are loyal to their feelings, not you. They’ll pretend to care at first to win you over but it’s all a facade.
That’s all up to you. Clearly our standards and tools of observation have been off, otherwise we wouldn’t be here. We can’t pretend we’ve made good choices and gotten shit results.
This was all my familial relationships, which is why I had to drop most of my family. I've had enough of it throughout my life, so I won't ever put up with this on a consistent level from someone who i'm hoping to be a partner. Things should never be transactional, both parties should always be trying to give and receive strictly from the love in their hearts.
Girl YES. I do give everyone a chance since there are many varying factors and each person is unique, but the length and intensity of their chance also varies. I do look for the ratio and time spent. Sometimes someone is going through something stressful and intense, so I'll abide for a bit. Once things have normalized or shown that they're always crazy, that's when I'll evaluate how much time and effort we've both put in. It's honestly never anything malicious if the other person isn't putting in as much effort or if they're draining. It's about maturity, and some people just aren't at the same level. Including myself, if I'm being honest. In the past I've probably put in too much effort. And maybe for the other persons I was the one who put in less effort. I don't think it makes them or myself a worse person, but there are definitely some associates and women that I'm not inclined to reciprocate their efforts. Sometimes there's a mature discussion that results, but sometimes the relationship just moves on. Thanks for this insight, Courtney! It's advice I figured out on my own, but I'm glad there will be some who needed to hear this right now.
Being in a one sided relationship, especially one with a female, is like trying to fill a bottomless hole. No matter what you do , its never enough and wears on you emotionally, physically, mentally as well as financially. But I'm a little jaded. My last relationship was that way and it so wrecked me that I'm no longer interested in relationships any more.
@@bittersweetindustryexecutive I've been divorced twice, neither of which was my idea. I have zero desire to get involved in another long term relationship and if I do it's going to be someone VERY special, someone that has completely gained my trust. I'm broken and and am well aware of it, that means that I come with baggage and trust issues. Why would I willingly submit someone that I want to spend the rest of my life with to dealing with the problems that come along with that? I probably wouldn't be this way if I was given the same consideration by the women that I got involved with.
Very excellent Courtney. There were 3-4 times in my life where if I had this video to watch, it may have saved me a lot of time, effort, money and heart ache.
Thanks for helping teach men what to look for. I learned these lessons the hard way over the years. My hope is men will heed your advice and keep a sharp eye on the health of the relationship. Semper Fidelis 🇺🇸
Oh God that’s what I’m currently in. It’s currently not being reciprocated. It can’t just be words it had to be by action in my case with my current relationship. I don’t feel like she supports me the way I support her and it makes me feel very alone at times. This video really describes what I’m feeling right now Courtney.
Wish I had understood this type of analysis years ago. I was 12 years in a one-sided relationship/marriage. Divorced in frustration and depression, feeling used. Thanks for the additional validation (I saw a therapist pre-divorce and got much the same advice -- but not as nicely encapsulated. ) So much wasted time.
Isn't every relationship one sided ? Dating, dating exclusive, or marriage. Men just get up everyday and grind it out. Hoping the one he chose works out. Deep inside knowing it could go bad in a short time. No matter how hard he worked or what he sacrificed. Women live by feeling, emotions, and hormones. These can change weekly or even daily. I just a few months she could completely change her mind. Break up with him or divorce him. With the ability of taking half of everything he worked for. Then continue doing it for 18 years if children were involved. He knows that he could be living on half an income with his children used to manipulate him. Many men suffer in silence with these thoughts and emotions. If you know a man in this situation. Reach out to him and tell him you are there for him. Other men are the best allies a man can have. We must support each other because no one else is coming for us.
Yeah, I had one date with a very good-looking woman and it was very one-sided. The whole time she was talking about herself and did not ask me anything it looked like a confession. After that one date I was trying to at least have a conversation with her over the text but it was a dead end. After a few attempts, I texted her that she is a great woman and she will find somebody who will love her and since that message whenever she meets me will not even look at me nor will she say hello.
Happy Wednesday Courtney. Thank you for the vlogs on your other channel. Nice outfit.❤ Has everyone seen List of restaurants women refuse to go on a first date?👀
Pretty good video. I think often about the symbiosis of the relationship I'm in, and evaluating what I provide/offer on my end, and what I hope to gain, as well. I think for grounded checks and balances to happen, both sides need to think of the partnership aspects. Indeed, every relationship is conditional. Negotiable, to a degree, even. And I hope no one feels "short" from their experiences.
Hello Courtney, I dont know if you've already done this or not, but have you ever considered exploring the topic of looking at men and women through a contextual lens of politics? I don't refer to state & national governmental politics, but more like "gender role politics" as far as Western traditions go where there is such a massive political polarization between men and women that you could consider we're part of two political parties without realizing it. In my opinion, I believe this polarization is the reason why there seems to be such an upward incline toward the notion of genuinely befriending the opposite sex. What might come to mind is that old book title "men are from Mars and women are from venus."
I've been in these situations so many times and it sucks. I've wasted so much time with people that don't reciprocate or don't give a crap about me, and I'm stopping that.
Ive been in a one sided relationship last year and it was exhausting. I kept thinking itll get better but i wasted my resources into this person and i regret it.
omg, I really wish this video/information months ago. I recently separated from my wife because of these very reasons. Sad thing was, without realizing it... I was the one receiving in this case and was not giving back enough in ways that my wife wanted. I really really really wish I had this information months ago. I would still have my wife if that was the case. Just want to add, that only having learned this as our marriage was falling apart has really made aware of how much she has been hurting in our relationship. I do very much love and care about her and wasnt aware of how much she was giving up for me without getting enough in return. The best I can hope for now is her forgiveness during the divorce process.
After a year she’s not reciprocating it’s like I’m in love with someone who doesn’t exist. At one point in time I would’ve just kept it moving but we’re in a year long relationship at first it was bitter sweet she actually had high interest now it’s like I do everything to keep her happy.
Your husband is a lucky man to have you. I came to the realization that I would rather be lonely alone rather than be lonely in a relationship! I love being single, for now.
Thank You for all the videos, I learned a lot which helped me.......to understand that the girl that I wanted to have a family with.......just not worth it... I wish that I found your chanel a few months ago so I can understand everything more clearly, because I was blind... THANK YOU COURTNEY 🙂
I'm in contact with one guy who didn't get his very first girlfriend until he was 30, and while he says happy that he finally managed to get one. He says he's will feel like a forever permanent incel for all time, still has bitterness in him because of how he feels he didn't grow up having a normal youth or didn't have the traditional dating timeline like people are normally expected to do. Yet people and society still think men have it better than women do when it's more common for men than for women to still be single or to have never been in a relationship by a certain age or decade. It should be obvious as to why it's more common for men than it is for women to reach a certain age or reach a certain decade on to have always been alone and to have never had a romantic sexual partner before. I definitely feel them because I feel my situation was similar to his it which I didn't have a girlfriend until late in life. It still hurts and always will, it sometimes makes me mad whenever people say there is no age-cap on love or dating, relationships. Since it has always been and likely always will be something that primarily very young people do.
What sucks is being good enough to be in a relationship but not good enough to be committed to. The ppl that are the most desired and undesired rarely feel that problem.
Could you do a video about which women’s fragrances/perfumes are still alright for men to wear? I get that some people say that all fragrances are unisex and that people should wear whatever they like, but practically it’ll still be a bit odd if a dude wears some extremely sweet floral scent every day. For example, Abercrombie has a women’s perfume version of its original Fierce cologne, and I sampled it and liked it, but I’m not sure a dude could pull off wearing that
Don't simp for the current version of the Patriarchy by trying to blend in with NPCs like Shaun of the Dead shuffling to The Winchester. Are you alive? Shoulders back, smash it. It's a soft play. Look up what Kings used to wear. Don't allow gender-specific traditions to bully you into anxiety for not conforming. Patriarchal bullshit. Hiding or diminishing an expression of your taste to cater to your projection of the amalgamated status quo is low-key self-hatred. 100 people answering a question for The Family Fued don't change your number one answer, peacock. Sing, don't swallow. And if you like what a UA-camr doesn't, you're not wrong. Your nose, your dime, end of. Good luck.
Thank you so much Courtney I am currently in a new relationship at the moment. We were seeing each other for about 4-5 data's and have just become a couple about 2 weeks ago. I definitely feel that the relationship is very one sided at the moment and I am questioning whether or not I made the right decision.
The person taking more than they give do the following: (1) Cancel plans a lot (2) Act irritated that you want to go out and wonder why they cannot (3) Are evasive about their thoughts and feelings
I think this relates to NEUROTYPICAL people more. For those that are NEURODIVERGENT (like me with ADHD), we struggle in many aspects of what is mentioned in this video. For example, I some times take 10 hours or 3+ days to text back. It does not mean i am NOT interested, just means I am hyperfocused on something else or distracted…it does not mean I am not interested in my partner or love them less.
I knew I was in a one sided relationship for 5 years but I loved her so much that I didn’t want to lose her. At the end she decided to break up with me. I know I diserve better but I still miss her very much. She moved on and dated 3 other guys already…
I am on a one sided relationship but it's because I had been out of relationship with women or friends because sickness with anxiety and epilepsy as well as brain tumor and surgery, so I close my self to the world. But at least she says ok let's go when other people don't answer their phones.
Courtney presents one-side relationships as 0-100 % situations, 0 implication from one partner, 100 % from the other. Reality is that it is often more like 60-40 % or maybe 70-30 %, because otherwise the imbalance would become too obvious and even intolerable. So assuming that we are talking about a 65-35 %, for the sake of talking, the imbalance is often acceptable by the person who puts more in because either, the person is deeply in love or, the person doesn't see possible alternatives to the situation or, there is some other important benefit that is gotten out of the relationship or, the person is too lazy to ask for a reequilibrium or to leave and start anew. Relationships in the 80-20 % range, I would surmise, are more pathological and are not going to be helped in any way by this video. In any case, we all experience at some point an imbalance in the relationship and we often tolerate it and even give it some consideration of normality because we don’t know better. Experience tells us eventually that we are hurting ourselves and we become the wiser for it. That’s life!
Truer words have never been spoken. This is an important topic. I wish when I was younger I really would have listened to my older peers tell me to move on when my ex girlfriend was only giving me 50/50.
I was in a 12 year relationship where it was always, "we're working on me now, but we'll do you later." After she adjusted to her new job, or finished a project at work, etc etc for 12 years. She genuinely believed there was a time in the future for me, but the can was always kicked. Finally, I hit some hard times, and I needed it to be my time, but nope, still not the time for me. Now my life is pretty ruined, heh.
One thing i'm missing is that people are different. If someone says they have been giving all the time. taking action all the time or starting the conversation all the time. It could be that the other one is feeling overwhelmed. Let the other person breath and have their space. And if it's not for you, thats oke. But that doesn't mean it's a one sided relationship. It's that you are not compatible
It’s even worse whenever you know you gave them space, did all of the right things, yet then they got on you for that. Some people just don’t know how to make up their minds on things, you could do everything to the max on whatever they wanted (even in non-controlling situations) yet they’ll then get on you for doing exactly what they wanted. Some just don’t realize you can’t have it both ways
If she’s not communicating with you regularly or communicates with you only when she wants something from you and is never reciprocating, you don’t want to be in that relationship.
My girlfriend has been played a lot and let down so she was under the impression that all men were the same. However, once she dated me for a while, I noticed her not reciprocating bc she was afraid of getting let down again. She saw my consistency and is slowly putting in the effort. In my case it’s cause my girl was hurt.
@@NoName-zb1gm She’s a very loyal girl. Her good hearted nature is what got her hurt. She got my initials tattooed on her ring finger so I don’t think we’re going anywhere🤣 It has been a mission but I can tell she’s pulling through.
I don’t get what happened, but the following occurred when I had my date this past Sunday: - We had meaningful conversations, equal amount of communication, and showed genuine interest in each other. - I was chivalrous by holding the door for her going in and out of the restaurant, opening her chair, paying for her meal, volunteering to stand next to the road, and offer my jacket when she said she was cold. - Offered to spontaneously take her to get ice cream next door, only to find out they were closed despite me calling them, where I was told they would be open. - Gave her a brief tour of the area we were in before she had to leave since she had to be home by 4PM and we had plenty of time to do so before then. - Parted ways on a good note by walking with her to her car, hugging, and me proposing another date by telling her I would love to see her again. Therefore, the date went well, but nothing came of it afterward.
Woman here - she doesn't have the ovaries to tell you she isn't interested. If you don't hear from her within a week, don't waste your time. Don't take it personal, women are weird. Honest communication terrifies people, no matter if cell phones existed or not LOL. You'll come across a mature, sensible woman and you'll know it when you find her!
Dates should be in the evening. Get her home by 4pm, sounds like she doesn't want to give any impression that you guys will have sex. Sorry, been there myself sucks. Date women sho are really interested in you.
Do not be discouraged! I believe you did everything right, but that doesn't always mean it will work out with that woman. Continue to do what you're doing and eventually you'll find the right one.
You can have a good date but if the other person’s not into you, move on. You should never chase someone to get them to like you. If they are really into you, they will let you know.
I got a similar date like this recently, and the girl told me after she got a friendly vibe not a romantic vibe (some would say "spark"). Even from my side, I could feel not a strong attraction (even if I was up to continue to see where it could lead). So we stopped there. It happens, it's chemistry. With another one, it could have been a romantic vibe, so continue to search the right one! (And it's what I have now, the difference is insane about how much we communicate way more, it's flowing, more freedom, laugh, compliments, less filters, etc.).
I was in relationship like this and in the end it turned into that I had to try and change, not her and that whole shit turned me into horrible person. And yes I notice some of these things in myself also, I was not perfect, far from it, but at least I tried
You should never change who you are to please the other person. If they can’t accept you for who you are, that’s the time to get out. If your partner cares, they will get along with you and vice versa. A healthy relationship is one where both people in it feel valued, respected and are happy.
I think a lot of it has to be about self worth and having your dignity. If the person isn't interested and not putting in the effort, better to have your dignity and walk away. Don't waste your time
Here’s my story on my 5 month relationship: In the early stages things were going well and we were getting to know each other and everything was well. We started to get into the topics of sex and she wanted to know what my fetish was so I told her. This was a huge step for me as I’ve never told anyone this and she said she was interested in it and wanted to try it. So we had sex and this was the first time I tried my fetish and also this was the first time I had sex. I’ve never been with a woman before nor did I think I would get one. This was absolutely amazing and I asked her how did she feel. She told me that she didn’t find my fetish sexy but she saw how happy it made me and she wanted to continue to do that because she wanted to make me happy. On top of that she loved the fact that I was a affectionate person and that I took care of her. Though this did not last. She told me on day that she no longer wanted anything to do with what I liked and i tired to understand why and to put it simply she basically told me “I’m not saying you can no longer do it, I’m just saying it will no longer be with me”. I asked her are you suggesting I get a new gf and she said yes. This hurt very much but I decided to stay and change because I loved. So time had passed and she told me that “you are to affectionate for me, I need you to bring it down from a 10 to a 7”. That hurt a lot because I was wondering after she said that how could you be fine with who I am at the beginning and then all of a sudden not be okay with what I bring to the table. Even though she said this I still stayed and tried to change for her but I started developing pain in my heart because I was not able to be me and I started to be scared to even make her upset. I was afraid to say or touch her in any way because I was afraid to make her upset. On labor day, she was all over me in the pool and when I asked her why was the case she told me “I forced my self to do that”. That was the breaking point because I realized this relationship is forcing us to be things that we are not. Mind you before this happened we didn’t have sex for a month and I felt as though she was no longer attracted to me and she hardly touched me. I decided to break up with her but I feel bad because I wonder if I made the right decision. Everyone in my life said I did but this is a short version. It’s been 3 months since I ended it and I’m still plagued with guilt and wondering if I should have stayed because that was the best I’m going to get
Much of everything I encounter is this and it's so depressing... and I swear, it's not that I'm attracting or the type of women I'm focusing in are. Many women these days just don't know how to value a man beyond what he does for them.
Interesting how everyone of these was in my recent relationship that has just been ended by the person who wasn’t giving enough due to my reaction to this lack of effort on their part.
It’s the males that always end up in a 1 sided relationship. Women/girls can get what ever they want without giving anything back. But when a guy expresses that he needs this thing in return it’s considered unattractive. Like attention, support, comfort and love back Women will see that as a “weak man”.
She just described my marriage, which will be ending in a couple weeks after 13 years. I invested a lot of my time, energy, and love into my wife’s emotional well-being and never got much support in return. Actually, what I got in return was her cheating on me with an absolute choad. Can’t wait to meet a woman who will give as much as she gets.
![Lp. Сердце Вселенной #60 РОЖДЕНИЕ ЛОЛОЛОШКИ [Финал] • Майнкрафт](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/YoR0pAV9FVQ/mqdefault.jpg)
1) Imbalanced effort
2) Limited communication
3) Unfulfilled needs
4) There is no compromise
5) Feeling drained
Another great video with an applicable topic for everyone. I wish I had woken up to this type of logic in my last relationship.
This is the M.O. of every young attractive American girl lol.
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
Dang, where my ADHD people
at? This hits hard since we can struggle in a lot of these.
One sided relationships. Worse part about them, sometimes we know (I sure did) but we think we can "make it work out", or "make them change (man or woman)," I'll go ahead and tell you. No you can't. Get out while you still can.
With that you always can.
Once you leave then they realize they messed up and try to get you back😂 too late
@@Lancea1ot and I won't understand why we decide to take them back. I can't speak for women but for men, why would you do that? There's literally millions of beautiful people in this country but you decide to go back with a person who treated you like shit? Have some self respect.
Changing them is a knock on YOUR 🫵🏾 part, not them.
Don't just walk away; Run as if your life/happiness depends on it.
As an older guy, I would have to say the majority of relationships I've seen in my life were pretty one sided. The men ended up doing and giving a lot more than the women did. It evened out somewhat in an ongoing marriage, but in dating it's all on the men. We're the ones who are expected to do the all of the asking, the pursuing, the planning, and the paying. So as a young man you have a choice to make - accept this, reject it and stay single, OR look to date opportunistically. Look for women who are more open to giving and reciprocating in the dating process. I don't think you'll find many women like this online. Those girls are just looking for attention and free goodies.
This is true. I'm about to turn 29 and I didn't get into serious dating until the last year or so...
It's tough out there, women expect us to pay for everything, court them, cater to their schedule, give them amazing sex, and listen to all their complaints.
Honestly, her life got much better after I started dating her... mine didn't, I was miserable, took me 8 months to realize and get out but I'm glad I did.
So right
I agree with you 100%, and that's why i'm single and happy!
I agree man, I agree
This is probably the most true statement... It's hard finding ones who reciprocate this. However, the way she is stating this, it needs some clarification if you have been in a relationship for a good amount of time. The "fundamental needs" need to be also communicated. Just like these issues. I spent the last relationship with someone who was giving, but not fully sharing and being honest. Which destroyed the relationship and in the end I was the one who got the bad end of the stick from everyone (even though she cheated). People need to just speak up when they are not feeling like the other person is not meeting their needs. And why do men take all the blame afterwards?
I was in a one sided marriage. I did all the effort and communicated. No effort in her part, I felt alone. My past marriage started good but it turned one sided as the years went on. Now I’m divorced. It all makes sense now that you mentioned it.
Hoping the best for you to thrive. Glad you valued yourself to make the change
This reminds me of the relationship I got out of this year. I was so drained because I was pouring into my ex and she wasn’t doing much for me. I was fighting to go back to that euphoric stage where she was so “obsessed” with me but it didn’t work. I’m happy we’re no longer in each others lives but I still have resentment towards her for barely reciprocating and using me and my family.
A relationship is a 100/100 relationship, so whenever you feel you're giving your all and the other person is only giving 50% it's best to bail out. There are definitely times in relationships where one person is giving more than the other, but that shouldn't be the norm ever.
I never understood why everyone says 50/50. It's 100/100. If you aren't giving 100% of yourself, then what's the point?
For sure! Thanks for the comment 😊
@@tommygunn6901because 100% is the entire relationship. so both give half of that so that half +half = whole aka the relationship so 50/50 means that both ppl do 100% of their allocated half
^tbh when people say it’s “100/100” it’s like yeah obviously, but we’re referring to the total amount of work to be done. So yeah it should be 50/50. Or maybe sometimes it’s more on one end but over time it should be roughly even
Yes, 100/100.
I always questioned whether breaking up with an ex a few years back was correct, based on whether it was one-sided. This video has actually given me total closure towards it. Thank you x
This video describes it perfectly! I was in a relationship like this, it was sooo draining. Its hard to constantly get rejected in your needs and feelings, because your partner is focussed on herself.
You don’t feel valued which can have a negative impact on your confidence. It feels like you are working for the relation all the time, without getting anything in return….the moment I realized it had to stop was the moment I felt alone, taken for granted and exhausted.
Keep up the good work Courtney :)
I knew I was in one, but I just chose to ignore the red flags. Totally damaged myself in process. Still rebuilding and staying away from relationships with women
My last one was painfully one sided. I ended it after a couple of months. Looking back, I knew after the third date where this was going but I wanted to believe she just needed time.
I’m currently over 2 months in on my current relationship and could tell on the first date she was as into me and I was her. It’s stayed way. I’ll never let myself get into a one sided relationship again. At the rate things are going, this could end up being my last relationship! We’ll see
Girl thank you for posting this. There is nothing worst than somebody creating a relationship in their head. There is nothing worst than when somebody doesn't have an equal interest in having a relationship but they keep holding on to you and making moves like yall cool.
I wanna have a discussion with you ❤️ Above🛐🤦♂️
dealing with depression/grief over a friend i have a crush on, thank you for your advice especially in the second half, it all made sense to me especially the idea of me chasing someone who is running away, its pointless
I can relate
@@dillyweiz8323 im sorry you have to deal with it too, im praying yiur situation gets better somehow or hopefully you can move on, its so painful and I'm really sorry
The best thing about love is there's always someone new around the corner. I finally gave up on someone I was pursuing and someone new came into my life. We're just co-workers but it feels nice to connect with someone and feel like the other person is happy to see me and talk to me.
I Needed this video months ago haha Dealt with this for 1.5 years and kept ignoring the signs because I was desperate. It’s sad how long I put up with this. I’m working on discovering my value this year. It’s been a journey….love the content Courtney!
Hi Courtney: In other words, love by necessity is a condradiction: surrender and empowerment in the same action. No relationship should make someone feel always vanquished and never unvanquished.
One-sided is more than most guys get. But they’re courageous enough to at least try. Got to give them some credit.
Thank you for doing this video. You are spot on. I leaned this the hard way and paid a big price when I got married. Some of what you said is true in any friendships as well. Giving Gets you Taken. So if you are the one doing all the giving you are being taken. I would also like to say if you see this get out as soon as possible. No matter how much it may hurt at the time it will bring more pain the longer you are together.
💯 accurate. I found myself in one-sided relationships a few times and I can relate. Thank you for spreading the word.
I have a friend that I have known for three years we go together we eat lunch together we visit, but this is a relationship. It’s all about her everything every element. Every sickness is all about her. Everything never anything positive never asking how I’m feeling never asking how I’m doing. It’s all about her When I try to be affection to get a hug. I have to ask for it. It’s never spontaneous. it’s so hard because I love so deeply and yet I give and give and give and even just simple things there’s no return and it’s so draining and yet I care so deeply, but yet I find myself in the cycle of wanting to be loved Wanting affection needing the touch and it’s not there. This is very hard for me. I know I’m gonna have to break up the relationship, but it’s a hard thing to do. I’m sure others can relate. It’s always about her everything all the time the world everything is bad bad bad and never about me.
A lot of this applies to not just dating relationships but all of them.
You will know immediately if your relationship is one sided. You can communicate your frustrations and hope to change things. But in my experience, just leave. They may see everything you did once you’re gone. They may not care. It doesn’t matter.
Just gotta find someone that reciprocates the effort you put into the relationship.
I wanna have a discussion with you ❤️ Above🛐🤦♂️,
I wish all women were as simple and straight forward to date as you are, we all need a Courtney!!
Courtney this is pure gold from a woman’s perspective. Guy please do yourselves a favor and listen to this sage advice. It will save you so much in wasted time.
Hey Courtney I was in a one sided and I got out the other day. I finally spoke up and I not tolerating it anymore. I see the lose as I GAINED something and I did not LOSE something. Everything is going to be okay! Staying longer would have been the mistake. Losing her will be short term pain. the long term pain would have been if I stayed and hoped for a different outcome that was never going happen. I took control finally of my life and ended it
Important things: 0:43 First Thing - Imbalanced Effort; 2:34 Second Thing - Limited Communication; 3:54 Third Thing - Unfulfilled Feeds; 4:53 Fourth Thing - There Is No Compromise; 7:04 Fifth Thing - Feeling Drained; and 9:00 to summarize all the told here.
What you have told there Courtney, some of these things can also apply not just for men, and in friendships. It can also apply to women, and also at work (or job, call it whatever you want).
Additional things among the mentioned things are these: Sixth Thing - Thinking All The Time That Is Our Fault For Happening;
Seventh Thing - When Other Side Gives Excuses For Their Bad Behavior; Eight Thing - Constantly Asks For Some Things (for example either money, or jewelry, etc) From People; Ninth Thing - Not Taking A Responsibility (but that can be applied to first, second, and fourth thing), and Tenth Thing - Showing No Empathy At All.
I can also agree that romantic comedy movies can't be like it's shown in either movies, cause life in series and movies is no match to life that we live in real life. Accept this tough truth.
The color of the nails goes well with the pattern of the sweater 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏.
La perfection madam ❤💙🤍💖💗💓.
So, every relationship I've been in has been one sided. Why should I try to find another? Women just don't care about me. It's only ALWAYS about them and unless I give everything to them, they just leave. I can't find any women who's REALLY interested in me, so I gave up on dating/relationships. I'm 42 now and know that I never will find a good woman who truly cares about me.
Change it up. Reevaluate the who, what, where, when of what you're looking for.
Keep your head up, buddy, get in the gym, and focus your purpose .
@@karlmm8738I totally recommend the gym, just ignore the women there
I’m 30 dude and yeah I’d just give up on finding women that actually genuinely care about you. You won’t find it. Most women are loyal to their feelings, not you. They’ll pretend to care at first to win you over but it’s all a facade.
That’s all up to you. Clearly our standards and tools of observation have been off, otherwise we wouldn’t be here. We can’t pretend we’ve made good choices and gotten shit results.
This was all my familial relationships, which is why I had to drop most of my family. I've had enough of it throughout my life, so I won't ever put up with this on a consistent level from someone who i'm hoping to be a partner. Things should never be transactional, both parties should always be trying to give and receive strictly from the love in their hearts.
You are not alone in experiencing that. Sorry to hear you also had to cut those "family" members out too.
Girl YES. I do give everyone a chance since there are many varying factors and each person is unique, but the length and intensity of their chance also varies. I do look for the ratio and time spent. Sometimes someone is going through something stressful and intense, so I'll abide for a bit. Once things have normalized or shown that they're always crazy, that's when I'll evaluate how much time and effort we've both put in.
It's honestly never anything malicious if the other person isn't putting in as much effort or if they're draining. It's about maturity, and some people just aren't at the same level. Including myself, if I'm being honest. In the past I've probably put in too much effort. And maybe for the other persons I was the one who put in less effort. I don't think it makes them or myself a worse person, but there are definitely some associates and women that I'm not inclined to reciprocate their efforts. Sometimes there's a mature discussion that results, but sometimes the relationship just moves on.
Thanks for this insight, Courtney! It's advice I figured out on my own, but I'm glad there will be some who needed to hear this right now.
Well written and spoken
Understand myself
Been there, Done that
Thank you, Courtney. Appreciate you helping the community.
Being in a one sided relationship, especially one with a female, is like trying to fill a bottomless hole. No matter what you do , its never enough and wears on you emotionally, physically, mentally as well as financially.
But I'm a little jaded.
My last relationship was that way and it so wrecked me that I'm no longer interested in relationships any more.
@Chris Brass
You're no longer interested in relationships forever? Or for the time being?
Cheers and good luck!✌
@@bittersweetindustryexecutive I've been divorced twice, neither of which was my idea. I have zero desire to get involved in another long term relationship and if I do it's going to be someone VERY special, someone that has completely gained my trust. I'm broken and and am well aware of it, that means that I come with baggage and trust issues. Why would I willingly submit someone that I want to spend the rest of my life with to dealing with the problems that come along with that?
I probably wouldn't be this way if I was given the same consideration by the women that I got involved with.
Very excellent Courtney. There were 3-4 times in my life where if I had this video to watch, it may have saved me a lot of time, effort, money and heart ache.
Thanks for helping teach men what to look for. I learned these lessons the hard way over the years. My hope is men will heed your advice and keep a sharp eye on the health of the relationship.
Semper Fidelis 🇺🇸
Hi Courtney! Thanks for the quality advice.
The burgundy looked really good!
Oh God that’s what I’m currently in. It’s currently not being reciprocated. It can’t just be words it had to be by action in my case with my current relationship. I don’t feel like she supports me the way I support her and it makes me feel very alone at times. This video really describes what I’m feeling right now Courtney.
Wish I had understood this type of analysis years ago. I was 12 years in a one-sided relationship/marriage. Divorced in frustration and depression, feeling used. Thanks for the additional validation (I saw a therapist pre-divorce and got much the same advice -- but not as nicely encapsulated. ) So much wasted time.
I love your videos. You're so genuine and down to earth and so is your advice.
Isn't every relationship one sided ? Dating, dating exclusive, or marriage. Men just get up everyday and grind it out. Hoping the one he chose works out. Deep inside knowing it could go bad in a short time. No matter how hard he worked or what he sacrificed. Women live by feeling, emotions, and hormones. These can change weekly or even daily. I just a few months she could completely change her mind. Break up with him or divorce him. With the ability of taking half of everything he worked for. Then continue doing it for 18 years if children were involved. He knows that he could be living on half an income with his children used to manipulate him. Many men suffer in silence with these thoughts and emotions. If you know a man in this situation. Reach out to him and tell him you are there for him. Other men are the best allies a man can have. We must support each other because no one else is coming for us.
Well put, it’s like a tennis match, ball in your court then back in the other. Well put Courtney!
L̳E̳T̳S̳ ̳D̳I̳S̳C̳U̳S̳S̳ ̳A̳B̳O̳V̳E̳🎄🌝.✝️.
Yeah, I had one date with a very good-looking woman and it was very one-sided. The whole time she was talking about herself and did not ask me anything it looked like a confession. After that one date I was trying to at least have a conversation with her over the text but it was a dead end. After a few attempts, I texted her that she is a great woman and she will find somebody who will love her and since that message whenever she meets me will not even look at me nor will she say hello.
L̳E̳T̳S̳ ̳D̳I̳S̳C̳U̳S̳S̳ ̳A̳B̳O̳V̳E̳🎄🌝.✝️.
Love hearing your perspective, fully agree and important to be aware of and understand. Great vid
I’m glad you’re addressing this. I’ve been in this situation before and it’s not pretty
Happy Wednesday Courtney.
Thank you for the vlogs on your other channel. Nice outfit.❤
Has everyone seen List of restaurants women refuse to go on a first date?👀
Ooh you know I’m reacting to that! Coming soon 👀
@@CourtneyRyannice 😅
I made some of these mistakes, with one of my friends and we had a falling out. I wish I could take it back but you live and you learn
I wanna have a discussion with you ❤️ Above🛐🤦♂️,
Great video Courtney! Very much on point.
Pretty good video. I think often about the symbiosis of the relationship I'm in, and evaluating what I provide/offer on my end, and what I hope to gain, as well. I think for grounded checks and balances to happen, both sides need to think of the partnership aspects. Indeed, every relationship is conditional. Negotiable, to a degree, even. And I hope no one feels "short" from their experiences.
Hello Courtney,
I dont know if you've already done this or not, but have you ever considered exploring the topic of looking at men and women through a contextual lens of politics? I don't refer to state & national governmental politics, but more like "gender role politics" as far as Western traditions go where there is such a massive political polarization between men and women that you could consider we're part of two political parties without realizing it. In my opinion, I believe this polarization is the reason why there seems to be such an upward incline toward the notion of genuinely befriending the opposite sex.
What might come to mind is that old book title "men are from Mars and women are from venus."
Oh my god. Why didn’t I find your channel earlier. Regardless…I need this moving forward! Great content!
I've been in these situations so many times and it sucks. I've wasted so much time with people that don't reciprocate or don't give a crap about me, and I'm stopping that.
I am exactly in the same position. 😫
Everything she is saying I am feeling it.
Thank you for this video so much. This confirming why I need to distance myself from a couple of girls I know
Ive been in a one sided relationship last year and it was exhausting. I kept thinking itll get better but i wasted my resources into this person and i regret it.
Another great video Courtney, thank you!
Thank you Courtney for your honesty and your objective… You have handed me some freedom! 🙏🏻
I wanna have a discussion with you ❤️ Above🛐🤦♂️,
Do they care about YOU, or what you can DO for them?
That was a hard one to come to grips with in a personal relationship.
omg, I really wish this video/information months ago. I recently separated from my wife because of these very reasons. Sad thing was, without realizing it... I was the one receiving in this case and was not giving back enough in ways that my wife wanted. I really really really wish I had this information months ago. I would still have my wife if that was the case.
Just want to add, that only having learned this as our marriage was falling apart has really made aware of how much she has been hurting in our relationship. I do very much love and care about her and wasnt aware of how much she was giving up for me without getting enough in return. The best I can hope for now is her forgiveness during the divorce process.
After a year she’s not reciprocating it’s like I’m in love with someone who doesn’t exist. At one point in time I would’ve just kept it moving but we’re in a year long relationship at first it was bitter sweet she actually had high interest now it’s like I do everything to keep her happy.
Your husband is a lucky man to have you. I came to the realization that I would rather be lonely alone rather than be lonely in a relationship! I love being single, for now.
Thank You for all the videos, I learned a lot which helped me.......to understand that the girl that I wanted to have a family with.......just not worth it... I wish that I found your chanel a few months ago so I can understand everything more clearly, because I was blind... THANK YOU COURTNEY 🙂
I wanna have a discussion with you ❤️ Above🛐🤦♂️,
Definitely was me earlier this year, Thank god I recognized and broke that off.
This is the kind of relationship I have been in . many thanks Courtney 👏🤝
L̳E̳T̳S̳ ̳D̳I̳S̳C̳U̳S̳S̳ ̳A̳B̳O̳V̳E̳🎄🌝.✝️.
I'm in contact with one guy who didn't get his very first girlfriend until he was 30, and while he says happy that he finally managed to get one.
He says he's will feel like a forever permanent incel for all time, still has bitterness in him because of how he feels he didn't grow up having a normal youth or didn't have the traditional dating timeline like people are normally expected to do.
Yet people and society still think men have it better than women do when it's more common for men than for women to still be single or to have never been in a relationship by a certain age or decade.
It should be obvious as to why it's more common for men than it is for women to reach a certain age or reach a certain decade on to have always been alone and to have never had a romantic sexual partner before.
I definitely feel them because I feel my situation was similar to his it which I didn't have a girlfriend until late in life.
It still hurts and always will, it sometimes makes me mad whenever people say there is no age-cap on love or dating, relationships.
Since it has always been and likely always will be something that primarily very young people do.
What sucks is being good enough to be in a relationship but not good enough to be committed to. The ppl that are the most desired and undesired rarely feel that problem.
Could you do a video about which women’s fragrances/perfumes are still alright for men to wear? I get that some people say that all fragrances are unisex and that people should wear whatever they like, but practically it’ll still be a bit odd if a dude wears some extremely sweet floral scent every day. For example, Abercrombie has a women’s perfume version of its original Fierce cologne, and I sampled it and liked it, but I’m not sure a dude could pull off wearing that
Don't simp for the current version of the Patriarchy by trying to blend in with NPCs like Shaun of the Dead shuffling to The Winchester. Are you alive? Shoulders back, smash it. It's a soft play. Look up what Kings used to wear. Don't allow gender-specific traditions to bully you into anxiety for not conforming. Patriarchal bullshit. Hiding or diminishing an expression of your taste to cater to your projection of the amalgamated status quo is low-key self-hatred. 100 people answering a question for The Family Fued don't change your number one answer, peacock. Sing, don't swallow. And if you like what a UA-camr doesn't, you're not wrong. Your nose, your dime, end of. Good luck.
Thank you so much Courtney I am currently in a new relationship at the moment. We were seeing each other for about 4-5 data's and have just become a couple about 2 weeks ago. I definitely feel that the relationship is very one sided at the moment and I am questioning whether or not I made the right decision.
Bail Out Now
When they take their sweet time to return the text or phone calls
Meaning several days
Red Flag
If you're already doubting, then just leave.
I like the new thumbnail. It looks very professional.
If you have to chase it, there is nothing to catch.
The person taking more than they give do the following: (1) Cancel plans a lot (2) Act irritated that you want to go out and wonder why they cannot (3) Are evasive about their thoughts and feelings
L̳E̳T̳S̳ ̳D̳I̳S̳C̳U̳S̳S̳ ̳A̳B̳O̳V̳E̳🎄🌝.✝️.
Thanks a lot Courtney. You're my therapist!
I wanna have a discussion with you ❤️ Above🛐🤦♂️,
I think this relates to NEUROTYPICAL people more. For those that are NEURODIVERGENT (like me with ADHD), we struggle in many aspects of what is mentioned in this video.
For example, I some times take 10 hours or 3+ days to text back. It does not mean i am NOT interested, just means I am hyperfocused on something else or distracted…it does not mean I am not interested in my partner or love them less.
I wanna have a discussion with you ❤️ Above🛐🤦♂️
If you were interested enough you would text back.
I knew I was in a one sided relationship for 5 years but I loved her so much that I didn’t want to lose her. At the end she decided to break up with me. I know I diserve better but I still miss her very much. She moved on and dated 3 other guys already…
L̳E̳T̳S̳ ̳D̳I̳S̳C̳U̳S̳S̳ ̳A̳B̳O̳V̳E̳🎄🌝.✝️.
I am on a one sided relationship but it's because I had been out of relationship with women or friends because sickness with anxiety and epilepsy as well as brain tumor and surgery, so I close my self to the world. But at least she says ok let's go when other people don't answer their phones.
The sad part we only have signs of a rise of loneliness. The trials of this world should not be handled alone.
Happy Wednesday, Courtney and Fellow Viewers!
🤍🤍
It's not about how much you love the other person. It's how they make you feel.
Courtney presents one-side relationships as 0-100 % situations, 0 implication from one partner, 100 % from the other. Reality is that it is often more like 60-40 % or maybe 70-30 %, because otherwise the imbalance would become too obvious and even intolerable. So assuming that we are talking about a 65-35 %, for the sake of talking, the imbalance is often acceptable by the person who puts more in because either, the person is deeply in love or, the person doesn't see possible alternatives to the situation or, there is some other important benefit that is gotten out of the relationship or, the person is too lazy to ask for a reequilibrium or to leave and start anew. Relationships in the 80-20 % range, I would surmise, are more pathological and are not going to be helped in any way by this video. In any case, we all experience at some point an imbalance in the relationship and we often tolerate it and even give it some consideration of normality because we don’t know better. Experience tells us eventually that we are hurting ourselves and we become the wiser for it. That’s life!
L̳E̳T̳S̳ ̳D̳I̳S̳C̳U̳S̳S̳ ̳A̳B̳O̳V̳E̳🎄🌝.✝️.
Truer words have never been spoken. This is an important topic. I wish when I was younger I really would have listened to my older peers tell me to move on when my ex girlfriend was only giving me 50/50.
Thank you! These are important to notice :(
I wanna have a discussion with you ❤️ Above🛐🤦♂️
Good topic; Thank You Courtney
I didnt have a word for this, but I found myself in a one sided. Ive kept the windownopened up on that but koved on to other women.
I was in a 12 year relationship where it was always, "we're working on me now, but we'll do you later." After she adjusted to her new job, or finished a project at work, etc etc for 12 years. She genuinely believed there was a time in the future for me, but the can was always kicked. Finally, I hit some hard times, and I needed it to be my time, but nope, still not the time for me. Now my life is pretty ruined, heh.
Public comment. Very good video. So true about everything you said about relationship..
I wanna have a discussion with you ❤️ Above🛐🤦♂️
One thing i'm missing is that people are different. If someone says they have been giving all the time. taking action all the time or starting the conversation all the time. It could be that the other one is feeling overwhelmed. Let the other person breath and have their space.
And if it's not for you, thats oke. But that doesn't mean it's a one sided relationship. It's that you are not compatible
It’s even worse whenever you know you gave them space, did all of the right things, yet then they got on you for that. Some people just don’t know how to make up their minds on things, you could do everything to the max on whatever they wanted (even in non-controlling situations) yet they’ll then get on you for doing exactly what they wanted. Some just don’t realize you can’t have it both ways
What if I don’t have any needs that have to get met by them and they constantly ask me to meet theirs or ask for validation?
Me to ex gf: "If I didn't text you for like 3 weeks, would you notice?"
Ex-gf: "No"
She didn't even hesitate with that answer.
If she’s not communicating with you regularly or communicates with you only when she wants something from you and is never reciprocating, you don’t want to be in that relationship.
WOW
DON'T LET THE DOOR HIT YOU 😂😂😂
Really Really great lectures, love
I wanna have a discussion with you ❤️ Above🛐🤦♂️,
Thank you Courtney. It seems I'm in a ton of one sided relationships.
I wanna have a discussion with you ❤️ Above🛐🤦♂️,
As another you tuber noted - if your absence doesn't matter to them, your presence never mattered to them either. Let them go and move on.
My girlfriend has been played a lot and let down so she was under the impression that all men were the same. However, once she dated me for a while, I noticed her not reciprocating bc she was afraid of getting let down again. She saw my consistency and is slowly putting in the effort. In my case it’s cause my girl was hurt.
I hope so. Women act hurt for sympathy. Hopefully another dude doesn't come along and suddenly she's not hurt or shy or scared anymore.
@@NoName-zb1gm She’s a very loyal girl. Her good hearted nature is what got her hurt. She got my initials tattooed on her ring finger so I don’t think we’re going anywhere🤣 It has been a mission but I can tell she’s pulling through.
I don’t get what happened, but the following occurred when I had my date this past Sunday:
- We had meaningful conversations, equal amount of communication, and showed genuine interest in each other.
- I was chivalrous by holding the door for her going in and out of the restaurant, opening her chair, paying for her meal, volunteering to stand next to the road, and offer my jacket when she said she was cold.
- Offered to spontaneously take her to get ice cream next door, only to find out they were closed despite me calling them, where I was told they would be open.
- Gave her a brief tour of the area we were in before she had to leave since she had to be home by 4PM and we had plenty of time to do so before then.
- Parted ways on a good note by walking with her to her car, hugging, and me proposing another date by telling her I would love to see her again.
Therefore, the date went well, but nothing came of it afterward.
Woman here - she doesn't have the ovaries to tell you she isn't interested. If you don't hear from her within a week, don't waste your time. Don't take it personal, women are weird. Honest communication terrifies people, no matter if cell phones existed or not LOL. You'll come across a mature, sensible woman and you'll know it when you find her!
Dates should be in the evening. Get her home by 4pm, sounds like she doesn't want to give any impression that you guys will have sex. Sorry, been there myself sucks. Date women sho are really interested in you.
Do not be discouraged! I believe you did everything right, but that doesn't always mean it will work out with that woman. Continue to do what you're doing and eventually you'll find the right one.
You can have a good date but if the other person’s not into you, move on. You should never chase someone to get them to like you. If they are really into you, they will let you know.
I got a similar date like this recently, and the girl told me after she got a friendly vibe not a romantic vibe (some would say "spark").
Even from my side, I could feel not a strong attraction (even if I was up to continue to see where it could lead).
So we stopped there.
It happens, it's chemistry.
With another one, it could have been a romantic vibe, so continue to search the right one!
(And it's what I have now, the difference is insane about how much we communicate way more, it's flowing, more freedom, laugh, compliments, less filters, etc.).
I was in relationship like this and in the end it turned into that I had to try and change, not her and that whole shit turned me into horrible person. And yes I notice some of these things in myself also, I was not perfect, far from it, but at least I tried
You should never change who you are to please the other person. If they can’t accept you for who you are, that’s the time to get out. If your partner cares, they will get along with you and vice versa. A healthy relationship is one where both people in it feel valued, respected and are happy.
I think a lot of it has to be about self worth and having your dignity. If the person isn't interested and not putting in the effort, better to have your dignity and walk away. Don't waste your time
Here’s my story on my 5 month relationship: In the early stages things were going well and we were getting to know each other and everything was well. We started to get into the topics of sex and she wanted to know what my fetish was so I told her. This was a huge step for me as I’ve never told anyone this and she said she was interested in it and wanted to try it. So we had sex and this was the first time I tried my fetish and also this was the first time I had sex. I’ve never been with a woman before nor did I think I would get one. This was absolutely amazing and I asked her how did she feel. She told me that she didn’t find my fetish sexy but she saw how happy it made me and she wanted to continue to do that because she wanted to make me happy. On top of that she loved the fact that I was a affectionate person and that I took care of her. Though this did not last. She told me on day that she no longer wanted anything to do with what I liked and i tired to understand why and to put it simply she basically told me “I’m not saying you can no longer do it, I’m just saying it will no longer be with me”. I asked her are you suggesting I get a new gf and she said yes. This hurt very much but I decided to stay and change because I loved. So time had passed and she told me that “you are to affectionate for me, I need you to bring it down from a 10 to a 7”. That hurt a lot because I was wondering after she said that how could you be fine with who I am at the beginning and then all of a sudden not be okay with what I bring to the table. Even though she said this I still stayed and tried to change for her but I started developing pain in my heart because I was not able to be me and I started to be scared to even make her upset. I was afraid to say or touch her in any way because I was afraid to make her upset. On labor day, she was all over me in the pool and when I asked her why was the case she told me “I forced my self to do that”. That was the breaking point because I realized this relationship is forcing us to be things that we are not. Mind you before this happened we didn’t have sex for a month and I felt as though she was no longer attracted to me and she hardly touched me. I decided to break up with her but I feel bad because I wonder if I made the right decision. Everyone in my life said I did but this is a short version. It’s been 3 months since I ended it and I’m still plagued with guilt and wondering if I should have stayed because that was the best I’m going to get
L̳E̳T̳S̳ ̳D̳I̳S̳C̳U̳S̳S̳ ̳A̳B̳O̳V̳E̳🎄🌝.✝️.
No, you did the right thing, champ. Don't compromise yourself for anyone else.
You'll just hate yourself and the relationship as it progresses.
Thank you
Much of everything I encounter is this and it's so depressing... and I swear, it's not that I'm attracting or the type of women I'm focusing in are. Many women these days just don't know how to value a man beyond what he does for them.
Yep been there, done this
Interesting how everyone of these was in my recent relationship that has just been ended by the person who wasn’t giving enough due to my reaction to this lack of effort on their part.
I have such a resentment toward my girlfriend. I'm the only one keeping this alive.
I been in one-sided relationships way over 5 years ago. I had guys pressure me to date them when I did not want to.
It’s the males that always end up in a 1 sided relationship. Women/girls can get what ever they want without giving anything back. But when a guy expresses that he needs this thing in return it’s considered unattractive. Like attention, support, comfort and love back Women will see that as a “weak man”.
My ex put adult children first in the home freeloading. I moved out because after I wasted 10 years . Never considered my feelings. His way or way
My last relationship ended because I didn’t open the car door for her ...
Instead I just swam for the surface ...
- Moscow, Russia
She just described my marriage, which will be ending in a couple weeks after 13 years. I invested a lot of my time, energy, and love into my wife’s emotional well-being and never got much support in return. Actually, what I got in return was her cheating on me with an absolute choad. Can’t wait to meet a woman who will give as much as she gets.
L̳E̳T̳S̳ ̳D̳I̳S̳C̳U̳S̳S̳ ̳A̳B̳O̳V̳E̳🎄🌝.✝️.