British Couple Reacts to TABOO QUESTIONS YOU SHOULDN'T ASK IN AMERICA!
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- Опубліковано 28 вер 2024
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British Couple Reacts to TABOO QUESTIONS YOU SHOULDN'T ASK IN AMERICA!
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Original Video - • 10 Taboo Questions in ...
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This is a good video for you to ask me anything! Comment below and I’ll respond to everyone… any questions you have, things you may just want to know. I don’t get offended easily so ask away 😂🤍
what’s your zodiac sign?
@@zach6808 wish I could tell you, my birthday is 8th April if that helps 😂
@@millie0804 so I believe you’d be an Aries
@@millie0804 Aries gang represent!
favorite planet?
The last time someone asked me if I was pregnant I laughed and said “no, I’m just fat”. The look on their face was priceless.
Adrianna once my very young son asked me if a fat man was pregnant? I said no he's just fat! I didn't even think to say men can't get pregnant!
I got the same question when I gained weight but I am a male. My reply was non verbal.
I've had kids ask me why I was still fat after babies came out. Working at daycares and schools was interesting lol. Heck. Just today, I had a lady cashier call me sir and I laughed and grabbed my neckline and said, "I paid good money for these" referring to my breasts 😂 we just laughed and laughed.
I did the same thing.
I was on the giving end of one of those questions once. Fortunately, the woman I was asking was a friend.
I was once in China wherein it was perfectly acceptable to ask me every variation of how much we earned to how much any item of personal apparel cost me. And you know what, I was not offended. It was their culture and their rules, and I tried to answer them graciously, albeit somewhat evasively. Everybody came away fine. No grudges, no hurt feelings, no "how dare theys." After all, life is not just about me and how well someone else takes care of my feelings. People don't all have the same cultural taboos and sometimes kind, well-meaning people make unintended faux pas, and sometimes people are just plain mean. Not my responsibility. My responsibility is to protect my feelings, without being a narcissistic baby and to graciously let them off the hook, if possible or to avoid them if necessary. For me, it's more about the intent behind a comment than the comment itself. Unless your question/comment is intentionally rude or mean, we're good.
ugh china.....this is why us Chinese hide shit sometimes, even if you may not see it. Parents are the same.
Did you make any friends
Are they boy or girl
How old are they?
what major are they?
what race are they?
do they have siblings?
where do they live?
where they come from?
where their parents come from?
what are they like?
are they smart or dumb?
did you get their phone number/email yet?
bonus questions;
how much money do they make?
what job do they have?
what company do they work at?
where's this company they work at?
Can get half of these asked within the same day I mention meeting a person. Failure to know all of these and get contact info right away and suddenly I'm the weird one.
@@drakke125Channel yes, I made great friends, some of whom are English teachers there. I enjoy our cultural differences, and I think they do too. Thank you for your interest.
I don’t know, seriously, maybe a round about guess about what all my clothes, maybe more specific with what I’m wearing.
My sister and I are on the opposite ends of the voting spectrum. We literally cancel each others vote. We both know it and we both choose not to discuss it with each other. But, we both proudly wear our "I Voted" stickers on election day.
6.5K Thumbs Up! 👍 You're welcome! Thanks! ☺️
Notes: She is even color coordinated with her cute baby! 👶
Cartman: "Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead!"
Villager: "Here's one for you!"
To see out it ends, see the movie, "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"! 😆
A question no one should ever HAVE to ask in the first place is: "Why are you putting catchup on that taco?"
Just trust me on this.
Ketchup*
lol I muffed that one
@@Big_Tex that’s what she said
@@ronswanson7371 originally spelled catsup.
I think you mean Catsup and yeah that is a good way to start a fight.
I'm from the South & quite honestly I can't think of anyone I know that would be offended by any question.
I don't associate with people who are constantly waiting to be offended, but the people I know are like open books. Within my own family, we have an expression : don't ask any question you really don't want to know the answer to!
Yeah, I'm from a state neighboring the Southern states and same here! This lady in the video is really trying to stereotype U.S. citizens, but it's not all that accurate.
I lived in AL for many years. I was asked if I was pregnant and I wasn’t. I wasn’t offended, but it was very uncomfortable. I don’t recommend asking that question.
Some of these are actual taboos, but by no means all of them. When someone asks me an awkward question my usual response is: "Okay, as long as you're sure you want to hear the answer." Usually stops them dead in their tracks.
As a southerner don't ask about NASCAR. Just say "raise hell, praise Dale" and let it go.
As an American, I have learned to live with the belief that any question someone asks you, it is always fair game to turn the same question around and ask that person the same question. With that said with regard to the political question, "Who did you vote for in the last election?"" I usually just respond, ""I voted."
I always respond: "No one. I don't vote." That ends any "political discussion" right there. The person may give me a strange, "Why did you kill my puppy?" look, but then they just walk away.
_"So, what are YOU in for?"_
_"I'm a guard."_
It's all co mmon sense and politeness. I was brought up to be very polite and while I'm not a fanatic, to me manners are very importantly. Manners should be important to everyone, and I believe most people think the same, if someone is such a clod they'd say " wow, when's the last time you slept" or why do you only have one child" ( I've been asked that on more than one occasion), well they should be prepared for whatever response they might get. ( I responded with "why do you ask?"). Common sense and manners.
Anna Miller I would never ask someone if they voted ( except my son!) and when I've heard someone say they didn't vote I think they're unappreciative of those who've sacrificed a lot so we have the choice. Just sayin'...
@@Bebold94 personally i can understand if people didn't vote cuz of other reasons like they didn't know enough about a candidate to make an educated vote, but intentionally choosing not to vote and giving up, to me is just lowkey a sin for similar reason you mentioned.
Asking "where are you from?" Can be a pretty benign question. It only gets bad if you press after they've answered. "Where are you from?" in America can mostly be to inquire what part of America you've spent a good chunk of your life in. I live in Colorado, which is famous for having a lot of people living here that aren't "native", and I wasnt born and raised here either.
Which worked out when I met my boyfriend. On our first date I asked him where he was from and there was no rudeness to that question. He told me he was born in Seoul and lived there until he was 10. Way cooler than my dumpy Midwestern farmtown backstory. 🤷♀️
I tend to ask “Where are you from?” as a conversation starter. I worked for a while with a lady from Rhode Island. She and her husband moved to Texas. She was amazed at the number of people who asked her where she was from. (She had a strong Jersey sounding accent.)
I think this video may be intended for non-English speakers who are learning the language. They may think bluntly may be the way to ask but not understand the nuances of the language.
I think it's to warn ppl that a good portion of americans here are butthurt crybabies about every little thing.
None of these questions would bother me in the least. Especially if it was asked by someone from another country.
Mark 29:33. Well, the reaction might be, "Are you implying that I've been ugly until now?!" 😁
I’m unable to have children and whenever anyone asks why I straight up explain to them why. They asked, if I make them really uncomfortable that’s on them lol
I have kids but I do the same thing when people ask me stupid questions. "Oh, why are you tired all the time? You are too young to be so tired all the time." Yeah, they get the full answer and then they feel uncomfortable and stupid.
Same. People ask me a question and if they don't like the answer and blame me for it, I tell them its their fault and if they keep going I tell them to f* off.
People have become utter pansies lately cuz of emotions and being overly 'kind' and sensitive
@@kalimaxine "what? You're young and you never partied?"
Me: Yeah I don't go to parties I never heard of or am not invited to
"Nah man you invite yourself"
"Yeah no, I have at least 'some' class and respect unlike ya'll"
That's what I went through quite a handful of times.
My parents: You're still young and you have back problems and have a belly?
Me: um yeah...literally most guys past 27-30 have a gut...and also get back issues....
I personally don't want kids and I got a hysterectomy for endo, so if someone asked me why I don't have kids I'd tell them it's because I can't have them and watch them squirm (in solidarity with people who want kids and can't have them!)
“Ah, you’ve put on a bit of weight mate😊”. Good one James ! Hilarious ! LOL. I almost fell on the floor laughing.
I NEVER ask questions about having kids. “Do you have kids” is fine. But “are you having kids” type questions are so Incredibly painful. My husband and I tried for 3 years before we got pregnant with our daughter, and we’ve been trying for 11 months for baby #2. Any questions about child plans, hurts my heart to talk about. It’s such a hard conversation and such a personal painful journey. For myself, I’m very open about our infertility journey, but many people aren’t.
how is it painful to get pegged every night
🙏
Took 6y for me and my wife, it's hard to convey the feeling that getting reminded invokes.
Even for single or especially new couples, they don't want to feel pressure to have children soon or to want children if they don't. The couple may not have discussed it yet and would be an uncomfortable spot to be put in.
Even for single or especially new couples, they don't want to feel pressure to have children soon or to want children if they don't. The couple may not have discussed it yet and would be an uncomfortable spot to be put in.
Eh, asking strangers if they have kids might be triggering to people who have had multiple miscarriages. And maybe for some people who have had a child die. My uncle was murdered when he was nineteen. Everyone in my family always includes him in the brother/kid count (as in my mother has three brothers not two, my grandparents have four kids not three). But I've seen things in books about grief or on social media that some can have a hard time with that question.
One time when I was walking into a store a lady held the door for me and said something along the lines of "letting the pregnant lady going first." I was not pregnant. I have pcos which is a hormone imbalance that makes it really hard to loose weight and I'm just fat 🤦♀️🤰
I wasn't mad at her and I didn't say anything to her but it didn't make me feel very good
I feel like the word "partner" is used much more so in England and the UK as a more all-encompassing term for a significant other in a committed relationship. Here in the states, it can be used that way as well, but more often than not it's used to identify same-sex couples whereas most heterosexual couples are more open with just using the term boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife.
I referred to my partner (opposite sex) as just that for the 29 yrs we were together. The main reason was he was a lot older than me and 'boyfriend' seemed kind of juvenile. I'd say about half the time, if he wasn't with me, people would assume I was in a same sex relationship. (I live in the US)
@@angelagraves865 I feel like there's a generational thing here. I don't even think about the fact that the words include boy or girl, which indicate youth. I just hear the whole word as indicating gender and that the person is a romantic partner. But I heard your argument from my 80+ neighbor.
I agree that it seems partner is used much more widely in Europe and the commonwealth than in the US.
@Jennifer Pearce
Definitely generational. Way back when I was younger "partner" was a gay word. Not anymore. We've come a long way. 🙂 I like the word partner. That's what your s.o. is... a partner.
It depends, a lot of celebrities in the USA will use partner to be all inclusive in their speech regardless the actual status of their relationship or gender.
Awww “my misses” that’s so sweet
An American translation would be “my better half”
My philosophy is it's ok to ask any question as long as you are prepared to graciously accept any answer or none. Even if the answer is, "None of your business." Ok. Next topic...
Or get a ✊💪
I agree.
I'll add another one to this. Don't ask a question if you wouldn't answer the same one, yourself.
I hope you don't really mean that. I'm sure you would agree that it's just wrong to ask (say) "Do you molest your children?" even if you are prepared to graciously accept any answer, or none. So, given that clearly SOME questions are always rude and/or offensive, regardless of the asker's willingness to not be answered, it's a bit trickier than you think to figure out where to draw the line...
@@DavidTateVA Yes. The correct form of the question would be, "Are you still molesting your children?"
All of the south, southern Appalachia, and the southern parts of Midwest states that border the south is know as the Bible Belt. Almost ALL SOUTHERNS come from a Protestant Christian home no matter if they still are or not. This also has to do with a close knit relationships with family and our community most of this is focused on the Lord. Well speaking of religion God bless y’all from Kentucky ❤️😊
Thank you. Speaking as a Christian; God bless you, too!
Funny then, that cities in the Bible Belt ALSO have CATHOLIC churches. Funny there is some evangelical "church" on every other street corner run by self proclaimed "pastor".
Its honestly 10% on the left and 10% on the right screaming at each other and the 80% in the middle are just tired of them, and want to take a nap or go fishing. Most people just don't care. Great videos I have recently found you two. Keep up the good work.
Exactly, I'm so tired of all the bullshit. Like enough is enough. Damn.🤦♀️
Right!!!
Well, I don't think that 80% just don't care. However, I do agree that the issues and divide is mostly from 10% or less on either side.
Yep. We all wanna go to work, make money, come home, spend time with the family and then get some sleep. ^_^
Of course, while I absolutely agree with you, saying this will get those 10% on either side all screaming at *you!* 😂
Occasionally someone at work would say, "You look really good today!" I would, of course, thank them, while in my mind I'm thinking, "as opposed to how bad I look every other day?" I'd laugh to myself, but some people could take this as a back-handed compliment.
In college, after a long weekend, I asked a classmate "what happened to your leg?" thinking he'd been in a minor skiing accident. He gave me a disgusted look and said "I lost it in a mining accident". I'd never noticed his limp previously. I just stood there with a stupid look on my face. 😳
This is one that gets overlooked because it doesn't apply to many people. I have a chronic health problem that is sometimes assumed to be a temporary injury. That's always awkward.
We aren't that up-tight here in the USA, well at least in most of the South, I can't speak for my Northern neighbors. You can generally ask us anything in a respectful way; if you're a foreigner, we will understand and be more forgiving. If it's a subject that we aren't comfortable with, we will most likely, kindly, tell you. The South, I feel, is more easy going and acceptable of deeper conversations with strangers as long as the conversation is carried in a respectful manner.
I really enjoy your videos, you both seem to be kind and respectful young people. Thank you for being so polite towards the USA.
I was at the grocery store with my mom when I think I was about 13 or 14 and around that time, my mother had a hysterectomy and she was upset about it. Some woman approached my mom and asked when the baby was due and my mom was visibly shocked and upset. She was overweight, but just because someone is overweight, doesn't mean they are pregnant. I would never ask anyone even if they are pregnant because I don't know their circumstances and I don't want to upset anyone like that woman upset my mom.
That happened to my mother, too.
Migration of Monarch Butterflies, or Hummingbirds. Fascinating stuff.
I would never criticize the government of the UK to a Brit but people worldwide seem to think that it's ok to criticize the government of the USA to us. Sort of bothers me.
Why? They deserve criticism.
They’re wondering how a video about 10 questions is 15 minutes long. I was wondering how a video about 10 questions is 33 minutes long 😂
🤣🤣😂😂
I talk to strangers a lot. Drives my kids nuts😂😂😂 But..it seems like strangers always come up to me and start telling me their life stories and all their problems. My hubby and I went to Florida and a woman came up and started talking to me about her boyfriend. Within ten minutes she was crying and I was hugging her😂😂
You have an empathic soul that draws ppl in and they feel safe and like they have always known you. I have children that follow me around, and sometimes I have to walk by their ppl again so they will go back to them. It is a blessing.
@@iro6612 three ppl here talking and not one mention of Trump. Until you did, why? You do know that not everything is wrapped up in politics right? Yet here you are. Idk or even care if you like or hate Trump, but when no one is even talking politics best to not start in on it.
@@IMCODERED yeah I am not really sure where this person was going, but sometimes we need to leave politics aside and still love our fellow humans. I just wanted to say it is ok to talk about other things outside of politics and we were not talking about politics so why bring it up? Oh well.
@ciscokid0110, it's what we live for; driving our kids crazy by talking to strangers! LOL! My son and daughter have grown accustomed to my doing that. My eldest granddaughter says it's embarrassing, but when I ask her why, all she will say is "It just is." Kids! LOL!
Well done with the guess on politics!
I found it funny when y'all said that 12:16 , cause is that simple! and yet I can't count the number of times I have people tell me "well, I need to know for sure! is not obvious"....
A college friend had been married 4 or 5 years when a third person asked her when she and her husband were going to "get with it" and have children. I witnessed this interchange and was appalled! My friend and her husband had just buried their two year old son. Please keep those comments to yourself.
Oh wow I'm very sorry for their loss I wish them nothing but positivity and good health for the future and honestly it's no one's business but theirs whenever they plan on having children and if they even want to have more none of anyone's business just be happy for them and comfort them in any hardship and respect their privacy. Very sorry for their loss and hope they are doing better emotionally 💕 sending my best thoughts and wishes to your friend and her husband
So sorry for your friend's loss. 😢
I just wanted to point out a flip side. Of course you were appalled...you KNEW what happened. I don't know how the exchange went, but it's like you expected the person to know that their son died. Most people ask a young couple that with the best intentions and if they did know, they wouldn't ask. Also, how people react to the question will determine how the conversation goes. While losing a child is extremely hard and consuming for the parents, you can't assume that everyone knows. I don't think castigating people without the knowledge is appropriate. Unless, of course, the person has always been an asshole and knew about their loss... Just my thoughts. ✌🏼
@@bonagrad92 Doesn't matter if they knew they had lost a child or not, telling a couple to "get with it" and have kids Is just super rude and cringey.
@@David-hr8mq Really, it's going to depend on who the person is. A college friend that's always spoken like that and that language being "acceptable" between friends or a complete stranger. If it was a friend, then suddenly the "acceptable" language is deemed inappropriate because they didn't know of their loss? It's all about intent. While it may be cringy to you, it's not cringy to others. And honestly, I'm not about to crucify someone I don't know over their language because I don't know the whole story and what I do know is one-sided.
Pretty offensive question unless you know the person well & even then I might be offended by it.
I live in the deep South. When a new person moves to the area, the question have you found a church home yet, it is not to be nosy and NO ONE forces anyone to go to church. Since so many people here go to church, people are asking to try to be helpful, friendly, and neighborly. If a new person moves to your neighborhood, you bring a pie, cookies, casserole, some kind of food to be welcoming. The conversation may include have you found a local vet? Have you found a local Dr? I know some great restaurants. I have found that there are some great deals at this store or that store. My favorite stylist/barber is at this salon. Oh BTW, have you found a church home? If they say yes, you say great. If they say no, you say I would love to welcome you to our church and show you around. We have great programs for all ages and VBS is in 2 weeks so I would be glad to help you sign your kids up if you would like. To which new neighbor would say either Wow, thank you that would be so helpful. OR maybe what was the name of your church again. Ok. We will be sure to think about it. OR if they don't go to church you would say Well if you ever decide you would like to try it, the people at our church are very warm and friendly just let me know if you ever have any questions and that is the end of it. The lady in the video doesn't understand because she, I am sorry, is a Yankee and doesn't understand Southern culture. The question is intended to help new people get settled into the area comfortably and to be helpful.
Here in the US we use little sister/brother and baby sister/brother. I'm the oldest of three girls, I refer to the middle sister as my little sister and the youngest is my baby sister (to this day she is still a big baby!) The youngest is also referred to as the baby, no matter how old they are.
Our elementary school is Pre-Kindergarten to 5th grade. Middle school is 6th, 7th & 8th grades, and high school is 9th thru 12th. Years ago they grade levels were different and they used Jr and Senior high.
I've had people ask me before why I'm not married, and it's such a confusing weird question that doesn't have a simple answer. It's not like there's a store with women sitting on shelves and you can just pick one out that you like and bring her home. I'll usually respond with something like, "well, why aren't you a millionaire?"
The proper response to why aren't you married is simple..... because I don't want to be married? Or just a simple because I'm not
@Thrill, many people would reply with: "I just haven't found the right one, yet."
Mail order brides?
"Why aren't you a millionaire?" I love that response! I'm going to remember that one.
I just tell them yes I'm married AND I have a boyfriend. They usually go silent.
Not sure of other countries, but here in America, most people nowadays CAN NOT MIND THEIR OWN BUSINESS!!
I feel like talking about money has become a lot more acceptable in the US. Not necessarily with older generations (50+), but with people under the age of 50 it's more common. Especially with the recent craze of people living more moderately and not getting themselves into massive debt makes it easier for people to talk about money.
I went to a water park with my cousin and his wife. His wife and I were standing in line for a ride and there was a fat lady in a bikini in front of us. My wife's cousin asks "are you pregnant? when are you due?". The lady turns around and says "I'm not pregnant!". 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
"You aren't? you have that certain glow." That'll get you past the problem.
I was training a new hire yesterday and she asked me “are you married? You have kids?”
And I had to say “I am not, and I do not,” and that makes me feel like I have to explain how I just haven’t found the right lady, and that’s a very personal matter for me and I was bummed out having to talk about it.
And to be clear, she’s married and has kids and had already told me that, so she was really just making conversation. But I’d have been just as happy if she hadn’t asked that.
I live down South and we will ask Yankees where they are from once we hear their accent
I live in north Carolina and never ask people that. Maybe because I lived in New York for years and found it really annoying when people asked me that when I had to move back to help my parents. I still get strange looks from people down here when they hear me say coffee.
In the US we don’t usually use the term “partner.” We use exact terms; husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, fiancé etc.
Exactly. The word "partner" sounds like you're trying to hide something.
I have used the term partner but in my defense he was from Ireland lol. But since that relationship it has kinda stuck.
Definitely true, though "partner“ is becoming more common. I assume out of privacy or due to younger people having more un-traditional relationships.
I’ve heard people refer to business partners as “my partner” so it doesn’t even have to be a romantic relationship. Its general usage is on the rise, though.
I have a joke for you. A man was annoyed at his family because at every wedding, the older members of his family would say "You're next" and he wanted them to stop. So he would go to a funeral and if he would see them, he would say to them "You're next". Lol. If you want to find out if someone is from New York ask them to say coffee. New Yorkers say "Cawfee ".
Thanks for the giggle.
@@adriannecote5319 you're welcome.
I enjoy watching your reaction videos. Being an unmarried older white man, I think this video is SOOOO important. My situation has engendered many assumptions about my politics and sexuality. I've endured many "well-meaning" comments and questions. Once I had a woman of another race say to me after our most recent presidential election "you know how you people are...." I have never been so offended.
My family's heritage is English and Scottish. My sensibilities run closely in line with GB. Thanks so much for your open-mindedness and sensitivity.
As someone who can't have children, I always dread getting asked why I don't have children. It's amazing how many times people ask me and my husband that question.
Regarding the voting stickers- it’s in part because some people don’t realize even though it’s one singular vote, it’s a privilege to have that vote and it can still change things. That’s why a lot of people put up their stickers to motivate others to also vote. It was the same idea with the vaccination and a lot of influencers were telling others to make sure they get vaccinated whether it was through ads, stickers, or any other merchandise.
I was born in Jackson, MS to a Sicilian Italian immigrant mother (who I inherited Italian citizenship from) and an Anglo-French and Hispanic father (his family had been in the US since the 1800s). Growing up in Mississippi (where people were still fairly racist at the time) in the late 80s and early 90s I got asked, "What are you?", referring to my race (which is a variation on the where are you really from question), all the time. I mean I was a bilingual brown kid, I couldn't possibly have been a "real" American. It's actually one of the things that stands out the most to me about my childhood.
@Rico Ten, I'm technically multiracial (15% Berber, 10% Black, 5% Asian, and a whole bunch of European). Both my Dad and Mom are part Black and Berber (from the Moorish invasion of Iberia and Sicily) and I'm also part Asian from somewhere on my Mom's side.
I'm an American. I really liked this. RE: the "are you tired" For "Whovians" (Dr.Who fans) there is an episode where the PM, Harriet Jones, has done something he doesn't like. he says,"I could take you out with 6 words" (out from being PM) . So he whispers to one of her aids (a whisper campaign) saying "Don't you think she looks tired?" The next thing you know, she's not the PM anymore!
I would consider these taboo subjects anywhere in the world.
I share y’all with my friends here in the US and we all love British accents and dry humor
I agree. I don't think there is anything specific to USA here.
I always find something to compliment on, because I love to spread happiness, corny I know but it’s true…
I absoltly love this video. Great job as usual guys!!!! I have a condition that keeps me from having children. I have no problem with someone such as a co-worker asking "Do you have kids" It's the follow-up questions that bother me. No matter how you ask "Why" My thought is "If you were close enough to deserve an answer to that you wouldn't have to ask". *LOL* Because then it puts the person in a weird position of figuring out how much to disclose about some pretty personal issues. Even if the answer is "We don't want them" or "We're not ready yet".
I think the "Are you tired?" or "You don't look well" only becomes a problem when the person is NOT sick, NOT tired, and (up until that point) feeling good about how they look! But as the person asking the question, you usually DON'T KNOW for sure. If they're SUPER red (or SUPER white) in the face and sniffling and sneezing and coughing and visibly falling asleep, that's one thing.
But for instance, I put on some new makeup one day and I REALLY liked how it looked (at least in my bathroom mirror at home). I thought I looked really good and I was feeling extra confident and happy about my appearance versus usual. Now maybe the shade of makeup I was wearing was a little off or maybe it was just different than my colleague was used to, but someone asked something like "You look sick. Are you feeling OK? You really don't look well." Up until that point my confidence level was through the roof and with a couple innocent questions, it dropped to the floor. Now I'm questioning myself, my appearance, why did I think I looked good, why was I so confident. I thought "I must look REALLY bad, certainly in comparison to what I thought, for this person to say I looked ill." Now I'm dejected, sad, embarrassed, felt the need to go to the bathroom and try to see what she was talking about. Pretty miserable, especially in comparison to how good I felt about myself just a few moments ago.
So if you not REALLY REALLY TOTALLY sure that something is wrong, don't say it, don't ask. You may inadvertently sort of ruin someone's day if they are NOT ill, and especially if they liked the way they looked before you said something.
We had a coach ask another teacher when her baby was due. She said 6 months ago. He was mortified. He was a legendary coach and very proper. Luckily the teacher thought it was funny.
The goal of rules like this is to keep people estranged from each other. It's presented as "not safe", but honestly, one of the best ways to overcome any hostility in such subjects is to talk to someone, openly and honestly, and listen to someone with interest. Even if you don't end up agreeing about something like politics, you will at least have learned someone's views on it.
You'll be surprised that Chinese people and Latinos/Hispanics are not afraid to ask others about how much they earn. When I lived in Mexico, people asked me that question a lot. This was especially true because I am from the US.
Politics, money, sexual topics and religion are off limits 99% of the time. These topics can only be discussed with very close friends and family in limited situations.
Personally, I have do not have problem with the question, Are you married? But I guess some people do.
As a guy, I think is also ok to tell a woman she looks good in a certain outfit. But he must be very careful how he says it. In my previous office, I would say "I like that dress or blouse" to some of the ladies I had known for sometime working there. Tone is very important.
In the context of asking if they had found a church, and a few years ago, because she was a child, his intention was probably to invite them to attend his church to see if they would like to go there.
This woman only represents herself and the things she is uncomfortable talking about. She in no way represents America 🇺🇸
She obviously is rather elitist in her thinking if she thinks she can make a video about what not to talk about in all of America 🇺🇸
She is one of the problems with America right now. People going around trying to control what people say.
I say, use common sense, and ask what you want.
Since the video is geared toward non-native English speakers, I think it might create a certain angst among English learners to get to know Americans or Brits. It makes people too afraid of offending. Worse than taking risks and offending would be to keep quiet, not learn the language well, and not build relationships. I have learned six languages, two to almost native-speaker fluency. Part of learning a language is understanding how people think. I have found that if I couch my questions in a way that shows that I want to learn, offence is rarely taken. "I have noticed that..." "I was wondering why here...", people are happy to explain and appreciate your interest - most people. Non-natives must be and can be given a pass if they show that they want to learn and are genuinely interested in getting to know others.
Now, as a native speaker, it is a whole different ballgame because one is expected to behave according to the norms of the culture. To do otherwise is to be downright rude.
Asked with the proper and due tact, I would say that versions of all of these questions are fine to bring up.
Complimenting a girl on her clothing really depends on how and why it's done. I recently complimented a girl that I work with on her shirt because it was of a singer that I'm also a fan of, but I didn't say anything about the tight tank top she was wearing the day before because that's just weird and creepy.
My husband and I both like to compliment people, especially if we can tell they are having a bad day. He has asked me how he can compliment a woman without being offensive. I tell him to compliment their outfit or the way they did their makeup instead of complimenting them directly. For example: "You look very good in that dress." is not ok, but"That dress looks very good on you." usually is ok. I have told men that their haircut or facial hair fits them very well. Basically, I have found that focusing a compliment on a choice they made in makeup, clothes, hair, etc. is usually safe.
At the store the other day I said this: "Sir, I don't know if bald was a choice or not but it looks very good on you!" It was completely true, it fit him extremely well, but the compliment had the possibility of going very wrong. Thankfully it didn't. His face lit up and he had a huge smile when he thanked me. 😊
Politics has unfortunately divided my family. It should never be talked about during family get-togethers. I feel bad that my aunts are crazy divided and now we never have a full family meetup because of it.
Also the race one... omg. I've heard people ask "No, I mean where are your ancestors from?" - gives me shivers how terrible that is.
I was a little worried because my old work as a nurse, I was the only male filled with a female cast of co-workers. I frequently complimented their outfits/hair etc. Just being a kind, objective observer. So I am glad it didn't, as she said, come off "flirty" (Even though they all knew I was married lol)
where i'm from. Lorida Florida if a stranger talked to a local, within an hour, they would know their family history three generations back. we are proud of our roots.
Yea, this video is for living an extremely sanitized existence. None of these are taboo just possibly causing a volatile response.
These are NOT taboo topics in the US. This is a list this lady put out of those she doesn’t want to talk to people about.
This video bothers me because this is more and more of not being able to exercise our 1st Amendment right to free speech! You can ask me anything as long as you are willing to hear my answers. The US Constitution does NOT guarantee you wont get your feelings hurt. And it bothers me that certain groups of people are allowed to use words that other groups can’t. Freedom of speech should be just that.
A lot of people I know here in nebraska apparently break these taboo topics. So I think it all depends on context
Many people in the South don’t believe in boundaries and they will 100% ask you all of these questions directly. The amount of times I’ve been asked why I’m not married… And being asked, “Don’t you want kids?” There are some very private reasons as to why I cannot have kids even though I adore them. This question hurts so much. I’ve started just bluntly answering the question with the truth. I don’t care how it makes them feel. Do NOT ask that question. It breaks my heart every time.
I once worked with a gal named Patty and I casually called her 'Pattymus Prime: Robot in disguise' and she thought I was flirting with her so, she let me know she was married.
So, saying anything to anyone is a minefield if someone doesn't know pop culture. 😂
Never experienced anyone ever getting offended by the married or kids question. Maybe just more of individual case for her?
When it comes to politics, you can talk to a Conservative generally without issue but definitely don't want to talk to a Progressive. A conservative will typically just assume you are confused about the subject if you have a different opinion. The progressive will typically think you are a mortal enemy or Nazi if you have an opposing position. So never talk politics unless you know which one you are talking to.
Most of the taboo things seem to be universal to all people. And others seem to be more specific to herself and what she feels is taboo.
Yeah, that's just not true. Right wing media has declared people on the left as evil. How many decades did you think it would take for that to come back around? The right is the party of the insane.
@@jaydisqus3353 perfect example
@@Bemadabava of what I said, thanks. It doesn't make it untrue.
@@jaydisqus3353 actually it isn’t true there for one is no right side media not even fox.
@@Bemadabava are you joking? Just flip on any am radio station. Levin, hannity, and Beck would be disappointed you've never listened.
The church bit is asked all the time in the Southern US. Baptist where I was raised. I get it all the time from people I talk to. I have to explain being spiritual but not religious to keep them from trying to force me to their church. It's so hard to keep yourself from getting a invite to church and harder to turn it down without negatively effecting your relation with that person.
Americans will happily volunteer information about their familial and relationship statuses, when they choose to, but it is definitely more unusual for people to ask each other, unless they already know each other pretty well, and in a more personal context. It's not a topic of conversation that's taboo, but it's more the manner of how those conversations start. Family to us is pretty personal, especially compared to cultures like the Italians where family is the very first thing Italians ask people about. For Americans, with personal subject matters, people want to be the ones to bring that up themselves. A good way to bring up this subject with an American is to just start volunteering information about your own situation. The American you're talking to then has the option to either respond in kind, or just politely shift topics away and not volunteer much about their own situation.
To be clear, this is not universal. It's just my experience in the communities I've lived in. There are ethnic communities within the US where family information is much more readily shared and asked about, even with strangers. But, if you're looking to be as polite and respectful as possible on a visit here, family is sort of a taboo thing to ask direct questions about with strangers or coworkers, until you know what the other person's comfort level is.
In the North East of America, people are proud of their heritage and talk about it freely, especially if you lived in the city. They call themselves Irish American, Italian American, Chinese American etc. For example, in Jersey City NJ, the parish you came from would tell your nation of orgin. Catholic schools in the US were started to help the immigrants assimilate culturally. You were taught the English language and culture there. So if you went to St. Michael's, you were Irish, Holy Rosary was Italuan, and St. Bonifice was German etd.
It all depends of sensitive someone is and how quick to anger they are. I'll happily discuss anything with mostly anyone.
I was with my sister-in-law at a hair salon, the receptionist had one of those uniquely British Empire Accents It sounded like a cross between UK English and Aussie English. I thought perhaps she was perhaps the American equivalent of an "Army Brat" (parents in the military often changing posts all over the world... So I say to her. "You have a very interesting accent it kind of sounds to me like a bit of UK English and a bit of Australian English, Where did you grow up"? She said "that's a great question, I actually grew up in South Africa" This was my first time meeting anyone from South Africa and I was fascinated by the accent. (I've heard Desmond tutu and Elon Musk speak and she didn't sound like either). Anyhow back to my point asking where someone grew up makes it more about their environment than about them personally I think.
One time, at the morning school assembly, I noticed a mother I knew casually, a very beautiful woman who did modeling and acting, was standing off to the side, not talking to other parents. Something about her seemed not quite right so I approached her, I think I said something like "Are you okay? You look upset". She shook her head and said "Not now, talk to me later". Well it turned out she had just learned a close friend had committed suicide. We later had a long private conversation about it. What I learned was, despite my Asperger's, in some circumstances, I could read people very well, maybe too well. Its what to do with that information that confounds me to this day.
I love when women compliment me in any degree, however none of them want to actually sleep with me.🤣56 and still single. I'm a good guy done wrong.
Speaking as an American I don't force my politcal views on anyone but if you ask me I will tell you and I'm more than willing to debate politcs with someone I don't know. You can ask but you may not like the answer I give and I won't apologize for it.
Usually, when you are talking to someone, if its a new conversation with a new friend, ask them what they might like to talk about. There are some topics that can be difficult according to what has happened in a person's life. Its difficult to know if you are just meeting someone for the first/second time.
UGH - I heard the first few sentences from this girl and my SJW alert went off - loudly! It seems as if she's super-sensitive and easily triggered. I wouldn't place too much import on her 'funny' pieces of advice. Love the video, Bees and Millie - greatly enjoyed it, as always.
It has absolutely nothing to do with "SJW." She's addressing English language learners from other countries where the norms of society can be very different. This is almost all completely non-controversial advice for people interacting with strangers and co-workers.
Ya, I did the "When are you due?" in line one day...I'm a pretty outgoing person, but there is no recovering from that...just walk away!
I live in the USA and some of those questions is just the way you formulate it.
I was at work one time and a girl I knew came by and we talked about 15 minutes, a girl who I had only seen 2 or 3 times comes up to me after my ex left and asked if she was my wife. I said no. Now I would think the next question would be , is she your girlfriend. No she goes from is she your wife to are you gay. WTF!!
When my fourth child was a couple of months old, and I hadn't lost all the baby weight, I went to a store and was pushing the baby in a stroller. When I got to the checkstand, the cashier asked me when the blessed event was due. I said, "What?" He repeated. I replied, "Are you ready to crawl into a hole? I am NOT pregnant!" I pointed to the baby in the stroller. That baby is over 40 years old now, and I shall never forget it. Also, we were in a men's store, and a man asked me where I was from. I told him what part of Cincinnati we lived in. He said he meant before that. "California." Him: Before that? Me: I was born in Illinois. He said, "You're not from Italy? You look like a nice Italian girl."
I lived in the north of England for 5 years in the 70's so when I hear a British accent I usually ask what part of Britain are you from and I make sure that I say Britain and not England.
You two would be perfect Americans, come over anytime!! 🇺🇸
I’ve been asked “What are you?” usually by college age males. My answer (with a straight face) “The last time I checked, a woman.” Shuts them up every time.
I'm from the Southeast and it's very common to ask someone where they go to church. It's part of the social environment. People talk about their church family all the time.
The "you look tired/sad" drives me crazy honestly. My mom is notorious for this. My answer remains the same... no, it's just my face... random people saying "smile" drives me crazy too, this is my resting face, I cannot help what It looks like. having a fake smile on all the time would look even more weird, so just deal with my non smiling resting face 🤣
I had to tell the president and VP of the company I worked for, not to say word “partner” , when talkin to people at business convention, or when we have lunch or dinner meeting. One would refer to the other as “partner”, but this reference was meant as Business Partner. They would introduce each other to new clients as “this is my partner…” this was in early 2000 but by at least 2007 I the language of “partner” was changing.
And they were not gay.
These are not taboo questions in America. These are taboo questions anywhere. This is all common sense to me.
"Are you married?" No, I'm happy. Back when I was married, we went to a gathering of my wife's family, and one of her uncles asked me when we were going to have kids, and I told him the truth, I said that we didn't want kids. The uncle then said something that I thought was totally stupid. He said, "Then why did you get married?" I never understood that stupid logic. You get married because you want to start a new life with someone, not because you're dying to have kids.
As an American, I'm unsure on the second topic. If someone asked me if I was married or had children, that would not seem inappropriate in most contexts. "Why not?" or "When?" are inappropriate. But we do ask each other if we have a spouse and/or children.
lol at the co workers "your kids an asshole" comment. I can see it now Me to co-worker: "Your kid's an asshole" co-worker: "Oh are you planning to have any anytime soon?" Me to co-worker: "Hell no, Im learning from YOUR mistakes, yours are a wonderful example of why I shouldn't, so thanks for helping me dodge a bullet, buddy!" lol
As a nurse, unless it is a very close family member, I would refer them to the doctor if I were asked if a death is imminent.
I've never liked that whole "partner" nonsense. It makes me want to ask them if they're a member of a law firm.
Equality is a HUGE deal here. It makes many subjects sensitive because people have been taken advantage of at some point in our history.
I think the "family" taboo is not as universal in the US as she makes it sound. In my experience, I think it honestly depends on American's political persuasion & age. Younger people and people on the political left have a tendency to review this as "taboo" or rude; while older people and people on the political right have a tendency to not view it as taboo or rude.
Also, urban vs rural tends to be different too. Urban/suburban people may tend to see this as taboo, but rural people might not.
Okay, I'm going to say this, all of this depends on where you are and the age of the person you are talking to: if you are in the Western states and talking to anyone under the age of 60, ask away...we are friendly and sooooooo chill. The exception are new immigrants and the buttoned up types.
Fyi, on the voting stickers, they are free stickers we are given after we vote.
Please do not take what she says as fact. Her take on this stuff is a very small percentile of Americans that think we can't ask questions because it might hurt somebodies feelings and/or they feel like they have to be offended for others. There really is only 2 things you do not bring up and that is politics and religion. Everything else is fair game. As it should be.
What she is saying is very true. Most American's are this way.
The one about the money was more interesting when I was first working. We all knew each others salaries. We would complain to management why we didn't get as much as a friend. Eventually we were asked not to discuss salaries.
Another approach is to go full on British. Americans will forgive foreigners a lot. You also sound so cute.
In the North East of America , people are proud of their heritage and talk about it freely.