This is a good video for you to ask me anything! Comment below and I’ll respond to everyone… any questions you have, things you may just want to know. I don’t get offended easily so ask away 😂🤍
I've had kids ask me why I was still fat after babies came out. Working at daycares and schools was interesting lol. Heck. Just today, I had a lady cashier call me sir and I laughed and grabbed my neckline and said, "I paid good money for these" referring to my breasts 😂 we just laughed and laughed.
I love watching you two together... Your love and mutual respect for one another is obvious... We should all be as lucky as you James and Millie!! ❤️❤️
Voting is a private and personal issue. For me it was how I was raised. If you use the “why” word it easily puts people on the defensive so ask another way.
I've been trying to teach this to 1 of my idiot roommates that for years! Talking to my roommate is a waste of time. You are better off banging your head against a wall.
No. That's wildly over simplified. I'm sorry you were so misled. There are many topics that just shouldn't be asked regardless of how you ask. Do not ask people how much their adoption cost. Don't ask people why they aren't married or have kids. Just. don't. ever. This video exists because of people who think how they ask is the thing that matters. They're wrong.
I frequently ask variants of most all of these "taboo" questions without any issue. If you are asking with sincere desire to better understand the other person or genuine care for them along with a genuine consideration for their feelings, there is usually little risk of offense. I've even frequently asked women their age without offending them. That being said, some things require consent before asking (such as if someone has gained weight).
I was once in China wherein it was perfectly acceptable to ask me every variation of how much we earned to how much any item of personal apparel cost me. And you know what, I was not offended. It was their culture and their rules, and I tried to answer them graciously, albeit somewhat evasively. Everybody came away fine. No grudges, no hurt feelings, no "how dare theys." After all, life is not just about me and how well someone else takes care of my feelings. People don't all have the same cultural taboos and sometimes kind, well-meaning people make unintended faux pas, and sometimes people are just plain mean. Not my responsibility. My responsibility is to protect my feelings, without being a narcissistic baby and to graciously let them off the hook, if possible or to avoid them if necessary. For me, it's more about the intent behind a comment than the comment itself. Unless your question/comment is intentionally rude or mean, we're good.
ugh china.....this is why us Chinese hide shit sometimes, even if you may not see it. Parents are the same. Did you make any friends Are they boy or girl How old are they? what major are they? what race are they? do they have siblings? where do they live? where they come from? where their parents come from? what are they like? are they smart or dumb? did you get their phone number/email yet? bonus questions; how much money do they make? what job do they have? what company do they work at? where's this company they work at? Can get half of these asked within the same day I mention meeting a person. Failure to know all of these and get contact info right away and suddenly I'm the weird one.
@@drakke125Channel yes, I made great friends, some of whom are English teachers there. I enjoy our cultural differences, and I think they do too. Thank you for your interest.
I’m unable to have children and whenever anyone asks why I straight up explain to them why. They asked, if I make them really uncomfortable that’s on them lol
I have kids but I do the same thing when people ask me stupid questions. "Oh, why are you tired all the time? You are too young to be so tired all the time." Yeah, they get the full answer and then they feel uncomfortable and stupid.
Same. People ask me a question and if they don't like the answer and blame me for it, I tell them its their fault and if they keep going I tell them to f* off. People have become utter pansies lately cuz of emotions and being overly 'kind' and sensitive
@@kalimaxine "what? You're young and you never partied?" Me: Yeah I don't go to parties I never heard of or am not invited to "Nah man you invite yourself" "Yeah no, I have at least 'some' class and respect unlike ya'll" That's what I went through quite a handful of times. My parents: You're still young and you have back problems and have a belly? Me: um yeah...literally most guys past 27-30 have a gut...and also get back issues....
I personally don't want kids and I got a hysterectomy for endo, so if someone asked me why I don't have kids I'd tell them it's because I can't have them and watch them squirm (in solidarity with people who want kids and can't have them!)
If I hear an accent and cannot recognize it, if I want to actually talk to the person then I would ask. No one has ever seemed offended by it. I am not rude about it. My ex is Russian, my fiance in Hungarian. Both have thick accents.
Mortician I also unknowingly imitate others accents! One time I was arguing for 2 hours with my then Hispanic landlord! I then walked to the store to be harassed by coos cuz they heard my imitated Spanish accent while I was on my phone! It's an embarrassing habit to have!
My sister and I are on the opposite ends of the voting spectrum. We literally cancel each others vote. We both know it and we both choose not to discuss it with each other. But, we both proudly wear our "I Voted" stickers on election day.
I've asked coworkers that I was training "so where is ur family from if you dont mind me asking?" And generally if you're polite, and are genuinely interested to learn about where they're from and asking questions about their culture, they'll receive you well and will conversation with you without being offended. But im the type I like to learn about others cultures
Most of these questions depend on the location where I live in the southeast United States majority of these questions would not be an issue and they are part of the everyday interaction with people. So it really depends on where you're at and also how you go about the conversation. There are ways to discuss politics without being offensive or demanding or argumentative. But that really depends on your level of communication skills. Have a good day
Even if they're commonplace they're still considered rude by many and better off not discussed until you're more familiar with a person. Of course my friends and family, even coworkers and repeat acquaintances, can discuss these things. But in the context of strangers? No. Don't get too personal or deep. Maybe it's where and how I've been raised but I'm a southeasterner myself. I will say it wouldn't be strange for a stranger to offer that information unprompted in casual chit chat, but it's rude to ask things like "why" about relationships, politics, sexuality, etc. If you must ask you must also accept the answers without debate or judgement.
@@lavenderoh I feel like politics shouldn't be a taboo topic, if we don't discuss it as a nation, things slowly fall apart, if I have to be rude to prevent that, then so be it.
I think this video may be intended for non-English speakers who are learning the language. They may think bluntly may be the way to ask but not understand the nuances of the language.
I think it's to warn ppl that a good portion of americans here are butthurt crybabies about every little thing. None of these questions would bother me in the least. Especially if it was asked by someone from another country.
The safest question to ask is, "So what do you think of this weather." We all experience the weather and it is a neutral subject. The sun shines or not, no argument there. If it is raining it is raining. If the person gives a short answer they may not want to talk. If they give a longer answer, they probably will converse with you or at least you can praise or complain about the weather together.
As an American, I have learned to live with the belief that any question someone asks you, it is always fair game to turn the same question around and ask that person the same question. With that said with regard to the political question, "Who did you vote for in the last election?"" I usually just respond, ""I voted."
I always respond: "No one. I don't vote." That ends any "political discussion" right there. The person may give me a strange, "Why did you kill my puppy?" look, but then they just walk away.
It's all co mmon sense and politeness. I was brought up to be very polite and while I'm not a fanatic, to me manners are very importantly. Manners should be important to everyone, and I believe most people think the same, if someone is such a clod they'd say " wow, when's the last time you slept" or why do you only have one child" ( I've been asked that on more than one occasion), well they should be prepared for whatever response they might get. ( I responded with "why do you ask?"). Common sense and manners.
Anna Miller I would never ask someone if they voted ( except my son!) and when I've heard someone say they didn't vote I think they're unappreciative of those who've sacrificed a lot so we have the choice. Just sayin'...
@@Bebold94 personally i can understand if people didn't vote cuz of other reasons like they didn't know enough about a candidate to make an educated vote, but intentionally choosing not to vote and giving up, to me is just lowkey a sin for similar reason you mentioned.
I love how you guys talk out the situations I am from America and I'm not easily offended but I was a bartender for 30 years and at my bar I had two rules you don't talk about politics or religion. I've seen grown men slap their wife over this conversation, I've seen best friends get into fist fights. So is a no-brainer if you talked about it you were gone. I didn't mind losing the tip it was better than having to call the cops
I live in the south and honestly I feel like people see most of these questions as fair game. Ofc I work in a grocery store so people feel comfortable saying all sorts of stuff to the staff. People ask me about my race everyday. I look Hispanic, but I'm actually Arabic. People come up to me speaking Spanish multiple times a day and get confused when I tell them I don't understand.
6.5K Thumbs Up! 👍 You're welcome! Thanks! ☺️ Notes: She is even color coordinated with her cute baby! 👶 Cartman: "Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead!" Villager: "Here's one for you!" To see out it ends, see the movie, "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"! 😆
Its honestly 10% on the left and 10% on the right screaming at each other and the 80% in the middle are just tired of them, and want to take a nap or go fishing. Most people just don't care. Great videos I have recently found you two. Keep up the good work.
My philosophy is it's ok to ask any question as long as you are prepared to graciously accept any answer or none. Even if the answer is, "None of your business." Ok. Next topic...
I hope you don't really mean that. I'm sure you would agree that it's just wrong to ask (say) "Do you molest your children?" even if you are prepared to graciously accept any answer, or none. So, given that clearly SOME questions are always rude and/or offensive, regardless of the asker's willingness to not be answered, it's a bit trickier than you think to figure out where to draw the line...
I'm from the South & quite honestly I can't think of anyone I know that would be offended by any question. I don't associate with people who are constantly waiting to be offended, but the people I know are like open books. Within my own family, we have an expression : don't ask any question you really don't want to know the answer to!
Yeah, I'm from a state neighboring the Southern states and same here! This lady in the video is really trying to stereotype U.S. citizens, but it's not all that accurate.
I lived in AL for many years. I was asked if I was pregnant and I wasn’t. I wasn’t offended, but it was very uncomfortable. I don’t recommend asking that question.
Some of these are actual taboos, but by no means all of them. When someone asks me an awkward question my usual response is: "Okay, as long as you're sure you want to hear the answer." Usually stops them dead in their tracks.
Asking "where are you from?" Can be a pretty benign question. It only gets bad if you press after they've answered. "Where are you from?" in America can mostly be to inquire what part of America you've spent a good chunk of your life in. I live in Colorado, which is famous for having a lot of people living here that aren't "native", and I wasnt born and raised here either. Which worked out when I met my boyfriend. On our first date I asked him where he was from and there was no rudeness to that question. He told me he was born in Seoul and lived there until he was 10. Way cooler than my dumpy Midwestern farmtown backstory. 🤷♀️
I tend to ask “Where are you from?” as a conversation starter. I worked for a while with a lady from Rhode Island. She and her husband moved to Texas. She was amazed at the number of people who asked her where she was from. (She had a strong Jersey sounding accent.)
I would push back on some of this. People don't seem to have a problem saying their religion, they just don't want to get dragged into an argument on some theological point. Asking people where they're from is usually fine, as long as it's not in a weird context. I was asked about my last name once in a job interview and never thought it was weird, the guy just seemed interested in languages. I wouldn't think asking people if they have kids would be offensive either, although asking why is a different story. Everyone gets tired sometimes; how is noticing it offensive? I probably get less hung up with manners than most people, but some of this seems to me like you'd have to be trying to be offended.
I work with people from a lot of different places, and I do ask where they are from. Nobody is ever bothered by it. I’ve even been asked where I’m from since I live in Texas, but don’t have a Texas accent. I just tell them I’m from Utah, but have been in Texas for 20 years.
Anyone who gets offended is DECIDING to be offended. You aren't the reason they're offended. They're the reason they're offended. (Within reason of course. I'm offended that anywhere on this planet there is even one single person who thinks it's ok to abuse other people regardless of their age or what that abuse consists of.)
One time when I was walking into a store a lady held the door for me and said something along the lines of "letting the pregnant lady going first." I was not pregnant. I have pcos which is a hormone imbalance that makes it really hard to loose weight and I'm just fat 🤦♀️🤰 I wasn't mad at her and I didn't say anything to her but it didn't make me feel very good
Occasionally someone at work would say, "You look really good today!" I would, of course, thank them, while in my mind I'm thinking, "as opposed to how bad I look every other day?" I'd laugh to myself, but some people could take this as a back-handed compliment.
I feel like the word "partner" is used much more so in England and the UK as a more all-encompassing term for a significant other in a committed relationship. Here in the states, it can be used that way as well, but more often than not it's used to identify same-sex couples whereas most heterosexual couples are more open with just using the term boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife.
I referred to my partner (opposite sex) as just that for the 29 yrs we were together. The main reason was he was a lot older than me and 'boyfriend' seemed kind of juvenile. I'd say about half the time, if he wasn't with me, people would assume I was in a same sex relationship. (I live in the US)
@@angelagraves865 I feel like there's a generational thing here. I don't even think about the fact that the words include boy or girl, which indicate youth. I just hear the whole word as indicating gender and that the person is a romantic partner. But I heard your argument from my 80+ neighbor.
@Jennifer Pearce Definitely generational. Way back when I was younger "partner" was a gay word. Not anymore. We've come a long way. 🙂 I like the word partner. That's what your s.o. is... a partner.
It depends, a lot of celebrities in the USA will use partner to be all inclusive in their speech regardless the actual status of their relationship or gender.
All of the south, southern Appalachia, and the southern parts of Midwest states that border the south is know as the Bible Belt. Almost ALL SOUTHERNS come from a Protestant Christian home no matter if they still are or not. This also has to do with a close knit relationships with family and our community most of this is focused on the Lord. Well speaking of religion God bless y’all from Kentucky ❤️😊
Funny then, that cities in the Bible Belt ALSO have CATHOLIC churches. Funny there is some evangelical "church" on every other street corner run by self proclaimed "pastor".
Our general rule is that politics and religion(I'll throw in question about people's love/sex life in there too) aren't to be talked about at the dinner table. Most other things are fair game.
Most individuals don't want to talk politics or religion because they are insecure in their beliefs or don't want to be challenged. Of course they simply may not know their ass from a hole in the ground so, therefore couldn't even have the discussion to begin with. We need to have more conversation not less.
@@johnray9088 I think it's more that if it's in an area where people don't already agree on everything, it's often incredibly divisive and people just don't want to talk about those things because they don't want the drama that disagreements on very sensitive issues brings. Like I am personally someone who has strong opinions on those subjects but I generally avoid talking about it for exactly that reason.
@@HistoryNerd808 If we're not listening to each other then we'll never understand where each other are coming from and we'll never learn. I love being challenged because I might just learn something. People like to believe and not have to think. Everything is too polarized these days.
I NEVER ask questions about having kids. “Do you have kids” is fine. But “are you having kids” type questions are so Incredibly painful. My husband and I tried for 3 years before we got pregnant with our daughter, and we’ve been trying for 11 months for baby #2. Any questions about child plans, hurts my heart to talk about. It’s such a hard conversation and such a personal painful journey. For myself, I’m very open about our infertility journey, but many people aren’t.
Even for single or especially new couples, they don't want to feel pressure to have children soon or to want children if they don't. The couple may not have discussed it yet and would be an uncomfortable spot to be put in.
Even for single or especially new couples, they don't want to feel pressure to have children soon or to want children if they don't. The couple may not have discussed it yet and would be an uncomfortable spot to be put in.
Eh, asking strangers if they have kids might be triggering to people who have had multiple miscarriages. And maybe for some people who have had a child die. My uncle was murdered when he was nineteen. Everyone in my family always includes him in the brother/kid count (as in my mother has three brothers not two, my grandparents have four kids not three). But I've seen things in books about grief or on social media that some can have a hard time with that question.
I enjoy watching your reaction videos. Being an unmarried older white man, I think this video is SOOOO important. My situation has engendered many assumptions about my politics and sexuality. I've endured many "well-meaning" comments and questions. Once I had a woman of another race say to me after our most recent presidential election "you know how you people are...." I have never been so offended. My family's heritage is English and Scottish. My sensibilities run closely in line with GB. Thanks so much for your open-mindedness and sensitivity.
I believe people think that it's OK to ask you two if you are married because your videos create an intimacy with the viewer and make them feel like a friend. You are very good at speaking directly to the camera in a simple and honest way which can make us feel like we already know you.
I think it's OK to ask them because they're on youtube. When you put yourself out there, then you forfeit your privacy. You become a public figure rather than a private citizen. The rules are different.
I think asking if you have kids is a fair question. I do it. Asking why not is beyond stupid. When I ask them if they have kids and they say no I ask them if they want some of mine. (Coming from a Dad whose three grown children are still driving him batshit. You wouldn't believe what my youngest just..oh, never mind).
I’ve heard people refer to business partners as “my partner” so it doesn’t even have to be a romantic relationship. Its general usage is on the rise, though.
A college friend had been married 4 or 5 years when a third person asked her when she and her husband were going to "get with it" and have children. I witnessed this interchange and was appalled! My friend and her husband had just buried their two year old son. Please keep those comments to yourself.
Oh wow I'm very sorry for their loss I wish them nothing but positivity and good health for the future and honestly it's no one's business but theirs whenever they plan on having children and if they even want to have more none of anyone's business just be happy for them and comfort them in any hardship and respect their privacy. Very sorry for their loss and hope they are doing better emotionally 💕 sending my best thoughts and wishes to your friend and her husband
So sorry for your friend's loss. 😢 I just wanted to point out a flip side. Of course you were appalled...you KNEW what happened. I don't know how the exchange went, but it's like you expected the person to know that their son died. Most people ask a young couple that with the best intentions and if they did know, they wouldn't ask. Also, how people react to the question will determine how the conversation goes. While losing a child is extremely hard and consuming for the parents, you can't assume that everyone knows. I don't think castigating people without the knowledge is appropriate. Unless, of course, the person has always been an asshole and knew about their loss... Just my thoughts. ✌🏼
@@David-hr8mq Really, it's going to depend on who the person is. A college friend that's always spoken like that and that language being "acceptable" between friends or a complete stranger. If it was a friend, then suddenly the "acceptable" language is deemed inappropriate because they didn't know of their loss? It's all about intent. While it may be cringy to you, it's not cringy to others. And honestly, I'm not about to crucify someone I don't know over their language because I don't know the whole story and what I do know is one-sided.
We aren't that up-tight here in the USA, well at least in most of the South, I can't speak for my Northern neighbors. You can generally ask us anything in a respectful way; if you're a foreigner, we will understand and be more forgiving. If it's a subject that we aren't comfortable with, we will most likely, kindly, tell you. The South, I feel, is more easy going and acceptable of deeper conversations with strangers as long as the conversation is carried in a respectful manner. I really enjoy your videos, you both seem to be kind and respectful young people. Thank you for being so polite towards the USA.
In college, after a long weekend, I asked a classmate "what happened to your leg?" thinking he'd been in a minor skiing accident. He gave me a disgusted look and said "I lost it in a mining accident". I'd never noticed his limp previously. I just stood there with a stupid look on my face. 😳
This is one that gets overlooked because it doesn't apply to many people. I have a chronic health problem that is sometimes assumed to be a temporary injury. That's always awkward.
I live in the deep South. When a new person moves to the area, the question have you found a church home yet, it is not to be nosy and NO ONE forces anyone to go to church. Since so many people here go to church, people are asking to try to be helpful, friendly, and neighborly. If a new person moves to your neighborhood, you bring a pie, cookies, casserole, some kind of food to be welcoming. The conversation may include have you found a local vet? Have you found a local Dr? I know some great restaurants. I have found that there are some great deals at this store or that store. My favorite stylist/barber is at this salon. Oh BTW, have you found a church home? If they say yes, you say great. If they say no, you say I would love to welcome you to our church and show you around. We have great programs for all ages and VBS is in 2 weeks so I would be glad to help you sign your kids up if you would like. To which new neighbor would say either Wow, thank you that would be so helpful. OR maybe what was the name of your church again. Ok. We will be sure to think about it. OR if they don't go to church you would say Well if you ever decide you would like to try it, the people at our church are very warm and friendly just let me know if you ever have any questions and that is the end of it. The lady in the video doesn't understand because she, I am sorry, is a Yankee and doesn't understand Southern culture. The question is intended to help new people get settled into the area comfortably and to be helpful.
I was at the grocery store with my mom when I think I was about 13 or 14 and around that time, my mother had a hysterectomy and she was upset about it. Some woman approached my mom and asked when the baby was due and my mom was visibly shocked and upset. She was overweight, but just because someone is overweight, doesn't mean they are pregnant. I would never ask anyone even if they are pregnant because I don't know their circumstances and I don't want to upset anyone like that woman upset my mom.
Where I live in the US (Minnesota) generally people don't talk about politics in public, but it definitely is way more common for people who support democrats to talk about politics in cities and republicans in rural areas. It makes for very awkward conversation because they always assume you agree with them.
I used to be a higher education teacher. I once said to my class right before an election that they should all go and vote. A couple of them said “you just want us to vote for your guy!” I said “Absolutely not. I don’t care who you vote for. But if you don’t vote, you’ve lost the right to complain about the results. So, don’t come to me and bitch about the election.” 🙄
In certain states in the US like mine (Nevada) it's perfectly legal to carry a gun unless it's posted not to or a federal building, bank, casino etc. I would never ask someone why. I was at the grocery just the other day and a gentleman had on a side arm and nobody thought twice about it.
@@haroldcruz8550 You got that totally ass backward. NV is and always will be blue. Legal gambling, drinking and prostitution must have just slipped by your radar. US history shows NV became a state to turn the tide of slavery and was a safe haven for run away slaves. Even the state colors are BLUE and silver.
My circle of friends have a rude joke about weight loss we throw at each other "Did you loss wight? Ohh no, you found it. Thre it is" 😂😂😂 only amongst friends.
With regards to money, at least in the western U.S., it's long been considered rude to ask a farmer, "how many acres do you have?" or asking a rancher how many head of cattle they run. It's the same as asking how much money they have.
I have 10 acres and live in the country and am very proud of what I got. Not only do I tell them what crops I have and animals but so do my neighbors. I don't know anyone who doesn't like to talk about it (I must amend this a little. WEED growers don't like to talk about their crops🤣). I think it's more of a city thing like I mentioned earlier. The video they watched was definitely directed toward city folk because it got a lot wrong about what rural people think.
Regarding the voting stickers- it’s in part because some people don’t realize even though it’s one singular vote, it’s a privilege to have that vote and it can still change things. That’s why a lot of people put up their stickers to motivate others to also vote. It was the same idea with the vaccination and a lot of influencers were telling others to make sure they get vaccinated whether it was through ads, stickers, or any other merchandise.
I would never criticize the government of the UK to a Brit but people worldwide seem to think that it's ok to criticize the government of the USA to us. Sort of bothers me.
My wife asked a lady at the store how many months along she was and she answered,”I’m not pregnant, dear!” Very embarrassed, she quickly exited the conversation and has never asked anyone ever again.
That very same thing happened to a woman I know. She was not pregnant. She had a bit of a tummy though. She was at a social gathering and another woman came up and asked how far along she was. Moral: Never Assume!
I'm an American. I really liked this. RE: the "are you tired" For "Whovians" (Dr.Who fans) there is an episode where the PM, Harriet Jones, has done something he doesn't like. he says,"I could take you out with 6 words" (out from being PM) . So he whispers to one of her aids (a whisper campaign) saying "Don't you think she looks tired?" The next thing you know, she's not the PM anymore!
I've had people ask me before why I'm not married, and it's such a confusing weird question that doesn't have a simple answer. It's not like there's a store with women sitting on shelves and you can just pick one out that you like and bring her home. I'll usually respond with something like, "well, why aren't you a millionaire?"
The questions about "are you married? why not?" and "do you have kids? why not?" really applies more to if you're talking to a woman. Because when those questions are asked to a woman there's often judgement implied there. The question asked with the implication that she should be married or should have kids, and thus if she isn't it means that the person asking thinks she's living her life wrong. A man is less likely to think much of a question like that.
Really? The only person that had any kind of judgment to ask me those questions was my 90 year old (Greatest generation) grandmother. Either I have thick skin and more confidence in myself than most women or I'm a man...and I'm definitely not a man. I do agree that asking why not is one question too far, but if a woman sees judgment it just might be her...meaning if the question bothers her it's because she's allowing it to. Anytime I was asked why not, I answered differently. Why not? "Because I haven't found a man worthy of me." "Because I have too much baggage and I haven't found a strong enough man who can deal with it." "Because I'm high maintenance." And so on. It just boils down to intentions. If it's being said to be mean or insulting then it's a problem. Just my experiences... ✌🏼
Lmfao just because certain women (I’m guessing you included) are insecure about their lifestyles doesn’t mean you get to apply malicious intent to someone who’s genuinely trying to get to know you better. This an example of the ‘patriarchy’ you guys are always shouting about? lol
@@bonagrad92 What is your problem? Honestly, people on this channel are so defensive! I was explaining the context of why some people don't like those questions...seriously, you damn well know that it's women who are more likely to not like them! Why is your first instinct to come to a UA-cam comment and be a 'Well I'm a woman and I'm not like that! I guess I must just be more secure in myself than other woman!" I'm not gonna say that makes you sound insecure...but it's interesting you feel the need to write a whole essay about you're Not Like Other Girls.
We had a coach ask another teacher when her baby was due. She said 6 months ago. He was mortified. He was a legendary coach and very proper. Luckily the teacher thought it was funny.
I feel like talking about money has become a lot more acceptable in the US. Not necessarily with older generations (50+), but with people under the age of 50 it's more common. Especially with the recent craze of people living more moderately and not getting themselves into massive debt makes it easier for people to talk about money.
For this entire Taboo issue of asking questions...the MOST IMPORTANT things to remember are: Be courteous and polite in your quarry and if they avoid answering... DONT PUMP FOR INFORMATION...let it be...you can ask any questions here as long as you remember those 2 very important unspoken unwritten rules...
We also say as a female, my girlfriend and I went such-and-such. That does not mean I'm gay it just means she's my friend and she's a girl. When someone says to me oh you look beautiful today or you look nice today the first thing I think is well what do I look like every other day chopped liver
Yes as a married woman I call my good friends that are girls..my girlfriends. As far as when someone tells me I look really good one day I don’t think it means I looked bad the other days, just that I look extra good this day. Lol.
Here in the US we use little sister/brother and baby sister/brother. I'm the oldest of three girls, I refer to the middle sister as my little sister and the youngest is my baby sister (to this day she is still a big baby!) The youngest is also referred to as the baby, no matter how old they are. Our elementary school is Pre-Kindergarten to 5th grade. Middle school is 6th, 7th & 8th grades, and high school is 9th thru 12th. Years ago they grade levels were different and they used Jr and Senior high.
The goal of rules like this is to keep people estranged from each other. It's presented as "not safe", but honestly, one of the best ways to overcome any hostility in such subjects is to talk to someone, openly and honestly, and listen to someone with interest. Even if you don't end up agreeing about something like politics, you will at least have learned someone's views on it.
I absoltly love this video. Great job as usual guys!!!! I have a condition that keeps me from having children. I have no problem with someone such as a co-worker asking "Do you have kids" It's the follow-up questions that bother me. No matter how you ask "Why" My thought is "If you were close enough to deserve an answer to that you wouldn't have to ask". *LOL* Because then it puts the person in a weird position of figuring out how much to disclose about some pretty personal issues. Even if the answer is "We don't want them" or "We're not ready yet".
I talk to strangers a lot. Drives my kids nuts😂😂😂 But..it seems like strangers always come up to me and start telling me their life stories and all their problems. My hubby and I went to Florida and a woman came up and started talking to me about her boyfriend. Within ten minutes she was crying and I was hugging her😂😂
You have an empathic soul that draws ppl in and they feel safe and like they have always known you. I have children that follow me around, and sometimes I have to walk by their ppl again so they will go back to them. It is a blessing.
@@iro6612 three ppl here talking and not one mention of Trump. Until you did, why? You do know that not everything is wrapped up in politics right? Yet here you are. Idk or even care if you like or hate Trump, but when no one is even talking politics best to not start in on it.
@@IMCODERED yeah I am not really sure where this person was going, but sometimes we need to leave politics aside and still love our fellow humans. I just wanted to say it is ok to talk about other things outside of politics and we were not talking about politics so why bring it up? Oh well.
@ciscokid0110, it's what we live for; driving our kids crazy by talking to strangers! LOL! My son and daughter have grown accustomed to my doing that. My eldest granddaughter says it's embarrassing, but when I ask her why, all she will say is "It just is." Kids! LOL!
I feel that these topics are not necessarily off limits. For her target audience (English learners), it makes sense to avoid them since it's harder to judge the nuances of communication in your non-native tongue. That being said, there is a big difference in culture in the different areas of the US (e.g. rural vs urban), so each one depends on all of those factors as well.
I was a Home Health Aide for 20 years and I was asked by family members for my opinion on how much time their lived one had left to live, and I was soooo uncomfortable because I can't predict how long someone lives. I understood why they asked but I only replied for a long time I hope.
I think the "Are you tired?" or "You don't look well" only becomes a problem when the person is NOT sick, NOT tired, and (up until that point) feeling good about how they look! But as the person asking the question, you usually DON'T KNOW for sure. If they're SUPER red (or SUPER white) in the face and sniffling and sneezing and coughing and visibly falling asleep, that's one thing. But for instance, I put on some new makeup one day and I REALLY liked how it looked (at least in my bathroom mirror at home). I thought I looked really good and I was feeling extra confident and happy about my appearance versus usual. Now maybe the shade of makeup I was wearing was a little off or maybe it was just different than my colleague was used to, but someone asked something like "You look sick. Are you feeling OK? You really don't look well." Up until that point my confidence level was through the roof and with a couple innocent questions, it dropped to the floor. Now I'm questioning myself, my appearance, why did I think I looked good, why was I so confident. I thought "I must look REALLY bad, certainly in comparison to what I thought, for this person to say I looked ill." Now I'm dejected, sad, embarrassed, felt the need to go to the bathroom and try to see what she was talking about. Pretty miserable, especially in comparison to how good I felt about myself just a few moments ago. So if you not REALLY REALLY TOTALLY sure that something is wrong, don't say it, don't ask. You may inadvertently sort of ruin someone's day if they are NOT ill, and especially if they liked the way they looked before you said something.
I would consider these taboo subjects anywhere in the world. I share y’all with my friends here in the US and we all love British accents and dry humor
I am a straight woman and I have, on many occasions said, "Wow, you are beautiful" or " Wow, you look stunning in that dress*. I compliment both sexes and my kids always looked at me funny when I did. Oh well. I'm sure I brightened their day.
I tell you, I am old school and I think this new way of calling a bf or gf their "partner". It makes me cringe, it just sounds so... unromantic. Someone saying their "partner" was usually someone who was gay. It made more sense then. It cleared the air. All was good. But today u have 14 yr olds saying "my partner". Oh sorry did I just roll my eyes out loud?
I have a joke for you. A man was annoyed at his family because at every wedding, the older members of his family would say "You're next" and he wanted them to stop. So he would go to a funeral and if he would see them, he would say to them "You're next". Lol. If you want to find out if someone is from New York ask them to say coffee. New Yorkers say "Cawfee ".
My husband and I both like to compliment people, especially if we can tell they are having a bad day. He has asked me how he can compliment a woman without being offensive. I tell him to compliment their outfit or the way they did their makeup instead of complimenting them directly. For example: "You look very good in that dress." is not ok, but"That dress looks very good on you." usually is ok. I have told men that their haircut or facial hair fits them very well. Basically, I have found that focusing a compliment on a choice they made in makeup, clothes, hair, etc. is usually safe. At the store the other day I said this: "Sir, I don't know if bald was a choice or not but it looks very good on you!" It was completely true, it fit him extremely well, but the compliment had the possibility of going very wrong. Thankfully it didn't. His face lit up and he had a huge smile when he thanked me. 😊
As someone who can't have children, I always dread getting asked why I don't have children. It's amazing how many times people ask me and my husband that question.
I would say the general theme of all of these is the same. The United States is a very extroverted culture, but when it comes to things culturally deemed as personal, we don't want to be asked about it. But we will probably tell you on our own if it's a subject we are willing to talk about, and if you volunteer information about yourself we'll probably volunteer similar information about ourselves in response, or politely deflect to another subject. Things that aren't considered rude to ask about is pretty much anything else, which honestly isn't a whole lot. Work, especially, what jobs we have, what tasks we do at work, that's usually fair game with anybody. Travel, or weekend plans, I think is also pretty open for conversation. If there's a major holiday coming up, or a school break, people will ask each other if they're going anywhere special. People will ask each other if they've ever been to places, as well, even if just local events or attractions. People will also ask about where people live, what city, town, neighborhood, that kind of thing. Some people may get touchy but not too many people would, I think. The people most likely to be touchy about it would be those in lower income brackets, if they perceive a socioeconomic disparity with you, and that you might be suggesting they live in some undesirable place if you ask about their living situation. Then there's the general small talk stuff. Sports is a big one, particularly local teams. Even if somebody doesn't follow sports much, they won't be offended if somebody tries talking to them about it. The weather, particularly in places where weather is a major event in people's lives, is also a big topic of conversation. Perhaps as a general rule, Americans don't mind asking each other about things they do, or might be doing, or want to be doing, but they do mind being asked about things they are, like their identities, and their status with respect to other people. There is a strong cultural emphasis in America that everyone is equal, and pointing out differences (and Americans have more differences than in most other countries) is definitely something that makes people uncomfortable.
I was born in Jackson, MS to a Sicilian Italian immigrant mother (who I inherited Italian citizenship from) and an Anglo-French and Hispanic father (his family had been in the US since the 1800s). Growing up in Mississippi (where people were still fairly racist at the time) in the late 80s and early 90s I got asked, "What are you?", referring to my race (which is a variation on the where are you really from question), all the time. I mean I was a bilingual brown kid, I couldn't possibly have been a "real" American. It's actually one of the things that stands out the most to me about my childhood.
@Rico Ten, I'm technically multiracial (15% Berber, 10% Black, 5% Asian, and a whole bunch of European). Both my Dad and Mom are part Black and Berber (from the Moorish invasion of Iberia and Sicily) and I'm also part Asian from somewhere on my Mom's side.
This points out extreme differences in someone from the North and the South. Any question asked in a kindly respectful manner shows interest in the person as an individual.
You guy's are right it's all about "context" a lot of these questions are ok depending on who you're asking and how you ask them, most Americans will feel alright if you ask out of concern, feeling you're actually interested in them
I live in the US and I love to discuss politics. I’ll discuss them with people I agree with and people I disagree with. I just find it very interesting.
I went to a water park with my cousin and his wife. His wife and I were standing in line for a ride and there was a fat lady in a bikini in front of us. My wife's cousin asks "are you pregnant? when are you due?". The lady turns around and says "I'm not pregnant!". 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
I’ve been asked “What are you?” usually by college age males. My answer (with a straight face) “The last time I checked, a woman.” Shuts them up every time.
I am in a grief support group because my dad passed away and a lot of the people in my group are women whose child died! If someone asks them if they have kids, then it hits a nerve! So I would never ask someone who I don't know if they have kids. I would wait for them to mention it.
@@TheBeesleys99 I went to the link in your channel description to your discord and joined but it says I can't message you. What I need to do in order to talk to you on there?
Thank you. My son (only child) died by suicide and this is a situation that comes up time and time again. Honestly, it isn't a big deal if someone asks if I have kids but if after I reply 'no' they ask 'why' I will very bluntly respond, I had a son for almost 15 years but he killed himself ..their reaction to that tells me they won't be so nosey in the future.
A friend of mine was pregnant with twins. One of them died during the pregnancy. The other twin was born full term and healthy. A few years later she had another baby. Through the years she would be asked how many children she had. She usually answered that she had 2 boys. Every once in a while she would answer that she had 3. She didn’t always explain that one had died.
I was taught that, If you don't have anything nice to say, Don't say anything at all!! & I immediately change the subject to "the weather "so glad the Sun is out or I can't wait for spring, I love the fall colors" 👍
Hey guys, great reaction. In regards to the "Appearance", I think she might be wrong; people liked to be told they look "Great", "Pretty", "Beautiful", because we dress how we feel and we want people to know without asking. If a man walks in with a $5,000 suit or a women in a well-fitted black dress, you really think they are doing it "just to wear it"? And on social media it is no difference; people on UA-cam, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, what their videos and pics "liked" or "❤️", right... Just in a different kind of way, but for the same purpose.
I'd have to disagree with commenting on others appearance. A person may become genuinely uncomfortable because they have trouble accepting compliments of any kind (if they have social anxiety, for example), or if they have been bullied for their looks in the past, they may feel you are mocking them. Some girls who have been sexually abused have reported that their abuser would tell the girl she was pretty as they "groomed" the child for abuse. Hearing something like that may bring up horrible memories. Those types of comments are better saved until you know them better.
@@tinacasarotto1264 I believe that also, the tone and how well you get along with the person. It has been proven that people are social animals right and even though people are starting to thinking differently, depend down in our subconscious, we want to be accepted and we want to be notice. For example in the movie "What Women Want", with Mel Gibson (yes I now that is a very old movie), but when he gets the ability to hear what women think, he heard a young assistant thinking to herself how she is not wanted, how she wants be notice, and how if she was "gone" no one would care, and at the end of the movie, Mel Gibson saves her life and you can see in her face when he tells her he can "see" her, while she was saying how she thought no one cared if she would kill herself, and that no one even knew her name. I now that was a long example, but people still want to fell accepted and if a man or woman, can take a "WOW!! YOU LOOK GORGEOUS TODAY!!", just a compliment (like you said all depending on tone you are using), I think the world would be just a little better.
I live in north Carolina and never ask people that. Maybe because I lived in New York for years and found it really annoying when people asked me that when I had to move back to help my parents. I still get strange looks from people down here when they hear me say coffee.
About who is an American: In the Southwest while waiting in a grocery line someone was talking on his cell phone in "Mexican." The person behind him said "This is America, speak English." The response he got was "I am speaking Navaho, if you want to speak English go back to England."
You'll be surprised that Chinese people and Latinos/Hispanics are not afraid to ask others about how much they earn. When I lived in Mexico, people asked me that question a lot. This was especially true because I am from the US. Politics, money, sexual topics and religion are off limits 99% of the time. These topics can only be discussed with very close friends and family in limited situations. Personally, I have do not have problem with the question, Are you married? But I guess some people do. As a guy, I think is also ok to tell a woman she looks good in a certain outfit. But he must be very careful how he says it. In my previous office, I would say "I like that dress or blouse" to some of the ladies I had known for sometime working there. Tone is very important.
I was training a new hire yesterday and she asked me “are you married? You have kids?” And I had to say “I am not, and I do not,” and that makes me feel like I have to explain how I just haven’t found the right lady, and that’s a very personal matter for me and I was bummed out having to talk about it. And to be clear, she’s married and has kids and had already told me that, so she was really just making conversation. But I’d have been just as happy if she hadn’t asked that.
Definitely love to see you two react to videos about the United States as a American I have always wondered these things too and it's interesting to see people take our citizenship tests and everything else that comes with the United States lol I never realized like morals or things we do here that is not common in other countries very interesting to see thanks for the uploads 💗
I was running the Auto Service Dept at a dealership years ago and one of my customers was a reverend/pastor/preacher at a local small church. He loved beating the book. "Stop by this Sunday", "Come check us out", "Haven't seen ya" asking my thoughts, reciting verses, and I always tried too politely change the subject. Finally, one morning he had an appointment. I greeted him, he looked me right in the eye and asked, "Have you ever wondered why you're here?" I replied, "To procreate." I got a look of horror in return. I politely added, "all living things on earth, you, me, chickens, vegetables, the smallest of organisms purpose is to ensure the species continues to thrive, carry on." "I've got 3 children, and 3 grandchildren, my work is through here." "YOUR here for an oil change and tire rotation, is that correct?" He nodded and handed me his keys. 😊
It does seem to me that, in a lot of her examples, she is more sensitive than most people I know in middle America. For example, “Are you married?” would not make most people I know uncomfortable. The same for questions about whether you have children or if you go to church. The rude part, to be sure, would be in any challenging follow-up questions as to why or why not. But the initial question, it seems to me, would be unlikely to give offense to many Americans.
The answer to part of your questions is the difference between in person and in writing. People ask if you’re married in writing but they probably wouldn’t in person. That’s why there are so many “bold” statements in social media that would never be said to your face.
Wow, as a gay mixed race older male who has worked in customer service for many years, so many of these questions come up and it's usually awkward if I want to answer honestly. It ties into the politics piece - gay marriage is a very hot topic here in the States. Then there's always the "Are you married" question. For a long time, the correct answer was no, but that felt like a denial of the long-time commitment that I was in, and the follow up would usually be, "when you find the right girl" which made it even more awkward. Once the subject of sexuality was on the table, then there were the invasive questions of someone trying to educate themselves or just being curious. As far as race, I look Hispanic, which has political connotations here in the US, and language confusion. I took it upon myself to learn Spanish in school but am not quite fluent. A lot of people react to how I look, and when interacting with me I debunk their original impressions, I get the "where are you from" question. I always reply with where I grew up here in the States and try to leave it there. I guess I'm the reason why all these questions are taboo, lol.
My girlfriend is 100% full blooded Korean, she was adopted when she was 3, so she looks fully Korean, but sounds fully American. If you were talking to her on the phone you'd think she was a blue eyed blond hair girl. Sometimes people ask her where she's from and it doesn't offend her at all, she understands what they mean. You can't be overly sensitive about things like that, as long as they're not saying it derogatorily or angrily then it's just a harmless question.
My cousin adopted two kids from Ukraine, when they were 5 and 6 (they’re blood sisters). They are blond and blue eyed. When they first got here, people were shocked that white, blond, blue eyed girls DID NOT speak English. If you met the girls now, you’d never know they weren’t born here-they speak English with no accent.
The Dutch are great mimics. I had three Girlfriends there that you would guess were Americans. One came down to visit me in Schweinfurt, Germany. I put her up in the Guest House (Army Hotel). She spoke German and within minutes she shifted to their Dialect and all the people at the Hotel thought she was from the area. Another worked as a receptionist at a hotel in Limburg during the summers and would switch unconsciously between American English and English English accents depending who she was speaking to. I worked with and was friends with the British Army Soldiers there and was always invited to their parties. I took her once to a British party and watched her shift accents at least three times a minute. I wish I had been able to film it. :)
where i'm from. Lorida Florida if a stranger talked to a local, within an hour, they would know their family history three generations back. we are proud of our roots.
Yea, this video is for living an extremely sanitized existence. None of these are taboo just possibly causing a volatile response. These are NOT taboo topics in the US. This is a list this lady put out of those she doesn’t want to talk to people about.
This video bothers me because this is more and more of not being able to exercise our 1st Amendment right to free speech! You can ask me anything as long as you are willing to hear my answers. The US Constitution does NOT guarantee you wont get your feelings hurt. And it bothers me that certain groups of people are allowed to use words that other groups can’t. Freedom of speech should be just that.
In the context of asking if they had found a church, and a few years ago, because she was a child, his intention was probably to invite them to attend his church to see if they would like to go there.
This is a good video for you to ask me anything! Comment below and I’ll respond to everyone… any questions you have, things you may just want to know. I don’t get offended easily so ask away 😂🤍
what’s your zodiac sign?
@@zach6808 wish I could tell you, my birthday is 8th April if that helps 😂
@@millie0804 so I believe you’d be an Aries
@@millie0804 Aries gang represent!
favorite planet?
The last time someone asked me if I was pregnant I laughed and said “no, I’m just fat”. The look on their face was priceless.
Adrianna once my very young son asked me if a fat man was pregnant? I said no he's just fat! I didn't even think to say men can't get pregnant!
I got the same question when I gained weight but I am a male. My reply was non verbal.
I've had kids ask me why I was still fat after babies came out. Working at daycares and schools was interesting lol. Heck. Just today, I had a lady cashier call me sir and I laughed and grabbed my neckline and said, "I paid good money for these" referring to my breasts 😂 we just laughed and laughed.
I did the same thing.
I was on the giving end of one of those questions once. Fortunately, the woman I was asking was a friend.
I love watching you two together... Your love and mutual respect for one another is obvious... We should all be as lucky as you James and Millie!! ❤️❤️
Voting is a private and personal issue. For me it was how I was raised.
If you use the “why” word it easily puts people on the defensive so ask another way.
I was always taught that it's not necessarily what you say/ask but how you say it. Context and politeness go a long way.
I've been trying to teach this to 1 of my idiot roommates that for years! Talking to my roommate is a waste of time. You are better off banging your head against a wall.
God...try telling this to my mom. It's how you say it not what you say.
No. That's wildly over simplified. I'm sorry you were so misled. There are many topics that just shouldn't be asked regardless of how you ask. Do not ask people how much their adoption cost. Don't ask people why they aren't married or have kids. Just. don't. ever. This video exists because of people who think how they ask is the thing that matters. They're wrong.
I frequently ask variants of most all of these "taboo" questions without any issue. If you are asking with sincere desire to better understand the other person or genuine care for them along with a genuine consideration for their feelings, there is usually little risk of offense. I've even frequently asked women their age without offending them. That being said, some things require consent before asking (such as if someone has gained weight).
That is wrong - subject matter in the nicest way is not ever exceptable Context can sound like sarcasm - keep it to yourself.
I was once in China wherein it was perfectly acceptable to ask me every variation of how much we earned to how much any item of personal apparel cost me. And you know what, I was not offended. It was their culture and their rules, and I tried to answer them graciously, albeit somewhat evasively. Everybody came away fine. No grudges, no hurt feelings, no "how dare theys." After all, life is not just about me and how well someone else takes care of my feelings. People don't all have the same cultural taboos and sometimes kind, well-meaning people make unintended faux pas, and sometimes people are just plain mean. Not my responsibility. My responsibility is to protect my feelings, without being a narcissistic baby and to graciously let them off the hook, if possible or to avoid them if necessary. For me, it's more about the intent behind a comment than the comment itself. Unless your question/comment is intentionally rude or mean, we're good.
ugh china.....this is why us Chinese hide shit sometimes, even if you may not see it. Parents are the same.
Did you make any friends
Are they boy or girl
How old are they?
what major are they?
what race are they?
do they have siblings?
where do they live?
where they come from?
where their parents come from?
what are they like?
are they smart or dumb?
did you get their phone number/email yet?
bonus questions;
how much money do they make?
what job do they have?
what company do they work at?
where's this company they work at?
Can get half of these asked within the same day I mention meeting a person. Failure to know all of these and get contact info right away and suddenly I'm the weird one.
@@drakke125Channel yes, I made great friends, some of whom are English teachers there. I enjoy our cultural differences, and I think they do too. Thank you for your interest.
I don’t know, seriously, maybe a round about guess about what all my clothes, maybe more specific with what I’m wearing.
I’m unable to have children and whenever anyone asks why I straight up explain to them why. They asked, if I make them really uncomfortable that’s on them lol
I have kids but I do the same thing when people ask me stupid questions. "Oh, why are you tired all the time? You are too young to be so tired all the time." Yeah, they get the full answer and then they feel uncomfortable and stupid.
Same. People ask me a question and if they don't like the answer and blame me for it, I tell them its their fault and if they keep going I tell them to f* off.
People have become utter pansies lately cuz of emotions and being overly 'kind' and sensitive
@@kalimaxine "what? You're young and you never partied?"
Me: Yeah I don't go to parties I never heard of or am not invited to
"Nah man you invite yourself"
"Yeah no, I have at least 'some' class and respect unlike ya'll"
That's what I went through quite a handful of times.
My parents: You're still young and you have back problems and have a belly?
Me: um yeah...literally most guys past 27-30 have a gut...and also get back issues....
I personally don't want kids and I got a hysterectomy for endo, so if someone asked me why I don't have kids I'd tell them it's because I can't have them and watch them squirm (in solidarity with people who want kids and can't have them!)
If I hear an accent and cannot recognize it, if I want to actually talk to the person then I would ask. No one has ever seemed offended by it. I am not rude about it. My ex is Russian, my fiance in Hungarian. Both have thick accents.
I don't see what's wrong with it.
Mortician I also unknowingly imitate others accents! One time I was arguing for 2 hours with my then Hispanic landlord! I then walked to the store to be harassed by coos cuz they heard my imitated Spanish accent while I was on my phone! It's an embarrassing habit to have!
My sister and I are on the opposite ends of the voting spectrum. We literally cancel each others vote. We both know it and we both choose not to discuss it with each other. But, we both proudly wear our "I Voted" stickers on election day.
I've asked coworkers that I was training "so where is ur family from if you dont mind me asking?" And generally if you're polite, and are genuinely interested to learn about where they're from and asking questions about their culture, they'll receive you well and will conversation with you without being offended. But im the type I like to learn about others cultures
Most of these questions depend on the location where I live in the southeast United States majority of these questions would not be an issue and they are part of the everyday interaction with people. So it really depends on where you're at and also how you go about the conversation. There are ways to discuss politics without being offensive or demanding or argumentative. But that really depends on your level of communication skills. Have a good day
And which generation you are.
@@candysmith8724 generation x
Even if they're commonplace they're still considered rude by many and better off not discussed until you're more familiar with a person. Of course my friends and family, even coworkers and repeat acquaintances, can discuss these things. But in the context of strangers? No. Don't get too personal or deep. Maybe it's where and how I've been raised but I'm a southeasterner myself. I will say it wouldn't be strange for a stranger to offer that information unprompted in casual chit chat, but it's rude to ask things like "why" about relationships, politics, sexuality, etc. If you must ask you must also accept the answers without debate or judgement.
@@lavenderoh I feel like politics shouldn't be a taboo topic, if we don't discuss it as a nation, things slowly fall apart, if I have to be rude to prevent that, then so be it.
Well said James.
“Ah, you’ve put on a bit of weight mate😊”. Good one James ! Hilarious ! LOL. I almost fell on the floor laughing.
I think this video may be intended for non-English speakers who are learning the language. They may think bluntly may be the way to ask but not understand the nuances of the language.
I think it's to warn ppl that a good portion of americans here are butthurt crybabies about every little thing.
None of these questions would bother me in the least. Especially if it was asked by someone from another country.
The safest question to ask is, "So what do you think of this weather." We all experience the weather and it is a neutral subject. The sun shines or not, no argument there. If it is raining it is raining. If the person gives a short answer they may not want to talk. If they give a longer answer, they probably will converse with you or at least you can praise or complain about the weather together.
As an American, I have learned to live with the belief that any question someone asks you, it is always fair game to turn the same question around and ask that person the same question. With that said with regard to the political question, "Who did you vote for in the last election?"" I usually just respond, ""I voted."
I always respond: "No one. I don't vote." That ends any "political discussion" right there. The person may give me a strange, "Why did you kill my puppy?" look, but then they just walk away.
_"So, what are YOU in for?"_
_"I'm a guard."_
It's all co mmon sense and politeness. I was brought up to be very polite and while I'm not a fanatic, to me manners are very importantly. Manners should be important to everyone, and I believe most people think the same, if someone is such a clod they'd say " wow, when's the last time you slept" or why do you only have one child" ( I've been asked that on more than one occasion), well they should be prepared for whatever response they might get. ( I responded with "why do you ask?"). Common sense and manners.
Anna Miller I would never ask someone if they voted ( except my son!) and when I've heard someone say they didn't vote I think they're unappreciative of those who've sacrificed a lot so we have the choice. Just sayin'...
@@Bebold94 personally i can understand if people didn't vote cuz of other reasons like they didn't know enough about a candidate to make an educated vote, but intentionally choosing not to vote and giving up, to me is just lowkey a sin for similar reason you mentioned.
I love how you guys talk out the situations I am from America and I'm not easily offended but I was a bartender for 30 years and at my bar I had two rules you don't talk about politics or religion. I've seen grown men slap their wife over this conversation, I've seen best friends get into fist fights. So is a no-brainer if you talked about it you were gone. I didn't mind losing the tip it was better than having to call the cops
I live in the south and honestly I feel like people see most of these questions as fair game. Ofc I work in a grocery store so people feel comfortable saying all sorts of stuff to the staff. People ask me about my race everyday. I look Hispanic, but I'm actually Arabic. People come up to me speaking Spanish multiple times a day and get confused when I tell them I don't understand.
Oh, my. I hope you can keep a sense of humor about it!
My best friend is a half-Filipino/half-white. He frequently has Hispanics try to talk to him in Spanish. Often, he replies in Tagalog!
6.5K Thumbs Up! 👍 You're welcome! Thanks! ☺️
Notes: She is even color coordinated with her cute baby! 👶
Cartman: "Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead!"
Villager: "Here's one for you!"
To see out it ends, see the movie, "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"! 😆
Its honestly 10% on the left and 10% on the right screaming at each other and the 80% in the middle are just tired of them, and want to take a nap or go fishing. Most people just don't care. Great videos I have recently found you two. Keep up the good work.
Exactly, I'm so tired of all the bullshit. Like enough is enough. Damn.🤦♀️
Right!!!
Well, I don't think that 80% just don't care. However, I do agree that the issues and divide is mostly from 10% or less on either side.
Yep. We all wanna go to work, make money, come home, spend time with the family and then get some sleep. ^_^
Of course, while I absolutely agree with you, saying this will get those 10% on either side all screaming at *you!* 😂
I was laughing every time you stopped the video. That lady's frozen faces were outstanding.
My philosophy is it's ok to ask any question as long as you are prepared to graciously accept any answer or none. Even if the answer is, "None of your business." Ok. Next topic...
Or get a ✊💪
I agree.
I'll add another one to this. Don't ask a question if you wouldn't answer the same one, yourself.
I hope you don't really mean that. I'm sure you would agree that it's just wrong to ask (say) "Do you molest your children?" even if you are prepared to graciously accept any answer, or none. So, given that clearly SOME questions are always rude and/or offensive, regardless of the asker's willingness to not be answered, it's a bit trickier than you think to figure out where to draw the line...
@@DavidTateVA Yes. The correct form of the question would be, "Are you still molesting your children?"
I'm from the South & quite honestly I can't think of anyone I know that would be offended by any question.
I don't associate with people who are constantly waiting to be offended, but the people I know are like open books. Within my own family, we have an expression : don't ask any question you really don't want to know the answer to!
Yeah, I'm from a state neighboring the Southern states and same here! This lady in the video is really trying to stereotype U.S. citizens, but it's not all that accurate.
I lived in AL for many years. I was asked if I was pregnant and I wasn’t. I wasn’t offended, but it was very uncomfortable. I don’t recommend asking that question.
Some of these are actual taboos, but by no means all of them. When someone asks me an awkward question my usual response is: "Okay, as long as you're sure you want to hear the answer." Usually stops them dead in their tracks.
As a southerner don't ask about NASCAR. Just say "raise hell, praise Dale" and let it go.
A question no one should ever HAVE to ask in the first place is: "Why are you putting catchup on that taco?"
Just trust me on this.
Ketchup*
lol I muffed that one
@@Big_Tex that’s what she said
@@ronswanson7371 originally spelled catsup.
I think you mean Catsup and yeah that is a good way to start a fight.
Asking "where are you from?" Can be a pretty benign question. It only gets bad if you press after they've answered. "Where are you from?" in America can mostly be to inquire what part of America you've spent a good chunk of your life in. I live in Colorado, which is famous for having a lot of people living here that aren't "native", and I wasnt born and raised here either.
Which worked out when I met my boyfriend. On our first date I asked him where he was from and there was no rudeness to that question. He told me he was born in Seoul and lived there until he was 10. Way cooler than my dumpy Midwestern farmtown backstory. 🤷♀️
I tend to ask “Where are you from?” as a conversation starter. I worked for a while with a lady from Rhode Island. She and her husband moved to Texas. She was amazed at the number of people who asked her where she was from. (She had a strong Jersey sounding accent.)
I would push back on some of this. People don't seem to have a problem saying their religion, they just don't want to get dragged into an argument on some theological point. Asking people where they're from is usually fine, as long as it's not in a weird context. I was asked about my last name once in a job interview and never thought it was weird, the guy just seemed interested in languages. I wouldn't think asking people if they have kids would be offensive either, although asking why is a different story. Everyone gets tired sometimes; how is noticing it offensive? I probably get less hung up with manners than most people, but some of this seems to me like you'd have to be trying to be offended.
I work with people from a lot of different places, and I do ask where they are from. Nobody is ever bothered by it. I’ve even been asked where I’m from since I live in Texas, but don’t have a Texas accent. I just tell them I’m from Utah, but have been in Texas for 20 years.
Yeah, same - I definitely see an issue with the accuracy of the video they're reacting too.
Telling someone they look tired is essentially saying they look bad. They may not appreciate being told that even if they are exhausted.
Anyone who gets offended is DECIDING to be offended. You aren't the reason they're offended. They're the reason they're offended. (Within reason of course. I'm offended that anywhere on this planet there is even one single person who thinks it's ok to abuse other people regardless of their age or what that abuse consists of.)
@@hammerpocket That's what I was thinking too.
One time when I was walking into a store a lady held the door for me and said something along the lines of "letting the pregnant lady going first." I was not pregnant. I have pcos which is a hormone imbalance that makes it really hard to loose weight and I'm just fat 🤦♀️🤰
I wasn't mad at her and I didn't say anything to her but it didn't make me feel very good
Occasionally someone at work would say, "You look really good today!" I would, of course, thank them, while in my mind I'm thinking, "as opposed to how bad I look every other day?" I'd laugh to myself, but some people could take this as a back-handed compliment.
I feel like the word "partner" is used much more so in England and the UK as a more all-encompassing term for a significant other in a committed relationship. Here in the states, it can be used that way as well, but more often than not it's used to identify same-sex couples whereas most heterosexual couples are more open with just using the term boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife.
I referred to my partner (opposite sex) as just that for the 29 yrs we were together. The main reason was he was a lot older than me and 'boyfriend' seemed kind of juvenile. I'd say about half the time, if he wasn't with me, people would assume I was in a same sex relationship. (I live in the US)
@@angelagraves865 I feel like there's a generational thing here. I don't even think about the fact that the words include boy or girl, which indicate youth. I just hear the whole word as indicating gender and that the person is a romantic partner. But I heard your argument from my 80+ neighbor.
I agree that it seems partner is used much more widely in Europe and the commonwealth than in the US.
@Jennifer Pearce
Definitely generational. Way back when I was younger "partner" was a gay word. Not anymore. We've come a long way. 🙂 I like the word partner. That's what your s.o. is... a partner.
It depends, a lot of celebrities in the USA will use partner to be all inclusive in their speech regardless the actual status of their relationship or gender.
All of the south, southern Appalachia, and the southern parts of Midwest states that border the south is know as the Bible Belt. Almost ALL SOUTHERNS come from a Protestant Christian home no matter if they still are or not. This also has to do with a close knit relationships with family and our community most of this is focused on the Lord. Well speaking of religion God bless y’all from Kentucky ❤️😊
Thank you. Speaking as a Christian; God bless you, too!
Funny then, that cities in the Bible Belt ALSO have CATHOLIC churches. Funny there is some evangelical "church" on every other street corner run by self proclaimed "pastor".
Our general rule is that politics and religion(I'll throw in question about people's love/sex life in there too) aren't to be talked about at the dinner table. Most other things are fair game.
Thats my favourite dinner discussion material. Its pretty much required for a proper Thanksgiving Dinner.
Most individuals don't want to talk politics or religion because they are insecure in their beliefs or don't want to be challenged. Of course they simply may not know their ass from a hole in the ground so, therefore couldn't even have the discussion to begin with. We need to have more conversation not less.
@@johnray9088 No. There is a time a place for everything. It is poor social etiquette to proselytize in casual social situations.
@@johnray9088 I think it's more that if it's in an area where people don't already agree on everything, it's often incredibly divisive and people just don't want to talk about those things because they don't want the drama that disagreements on very sensitive issues brings. Like I am personally someone who has strong opinions on those subjects but I generally avoid talking about it for exactly that reason.
@@HistoryNerd808 If we're not listening to each other then we'll never understand where each other are coming from and we'll never learn. I love being challenged because I might just learn something. People like to believe and not have to think. Everything is too polarized these days.
Awww “my misses” that’s so sweet
An American translation would be “my better half”
I NEVER ask questions about having kids. “Do you have kids” is fine. But “are you having kids” type questions are so Incredibly painful. My husband and I tried for 3 years before we got pregnant with our daughter, and we’ve been trying for 11 months for baby #2. Any questions about child plans, hurts my heart to talk about. It’s such a hard conversation and such a personal painful journey. For myself, I’m very open about our infertility journey, but many people aren’t.
how is it painful to get pegged every night
🙏
Took 6y for me and my wife, it's hard to convey the feeling that getting reminded invokes.
Even for single or especially new couples, they don't want to feel pressure to have children soon or to want children if they don't. The couple may not have discussed it yet and would be an uncomfortable spot to be put in.
Even for single or especially new couples, they don't want to feel pressure to have children soon or to want children if they don't. The couple may not have discussed it yet and would be an uncomfortable spot to be put in.
Eh, asking strangers if they have kids might be triggering to people who have had multiple miscarriages. And maybe for some people who have had a child die. My uncle was murdered when he was nineteen. Everyone in my family always includes him in the brother/kid count (as in my mother has three brothers not two, my grandparents have four kids not three). But I've seen things in books about grief or on social media that some can have a hard time with that question.
I enjoy watching your reaction videos. Being an unmarried older white man, I think this video is SOOOO important. My situation has engendered many assumptions about my politics and sexuality. I've endured many "well-meaning" comments and questions. Once I had a woman of another race say to me after our most recent presidential election "you know how you people are...." I have never been so offended.
My family's heritage is English and Scottish. My sensibilities run closely in line with GB. Thanks so much for your open-mindedness and sensitivity.
I believe people think that it's OK to ask you two if you are married because your videos create an intimacy with the viewer and make them feel like a friend. You are very good at speaking directly to the camera in a simple and honest way which can make us feel like we already know you.
I think it's OK to ask them because they're on youtube. When you put yourself out there, then you forfeit your privacy. You become a public figure rather than a private citizen. The rules are different.
@@patrickbarnes9874 that is a twisted mentality. Very sad
Well that is a you problem
Mark 29:33. Well, the reaction might be, "Are you implying that I've been ugly until now?!" 😁
I think asking if you have kids is a fair question. I do it. Asking why not is beyond stupid. When I ask them if they have kids and they say no I ask them if they want some of mine. (Coming from a Dad whose three grown children are still driving him batshit. You wouldn't believe what my youngest just..oh, never mind).
In the US we don’t usually use the term “partner.” We use exact terms; husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, fiancé etc.
Exactly. The word "partner" sounds like you're trying to hide something.
I have used the term partner but in my defense he was from Ireland lol. But since that relationship it has kinda stuck.
Definitely true, though "partner“ is becoming more common. I assume out of privacy or due to younger people having more un-traditional relationships.
I’ve heard people refer to business partners as “my partner” so it doesn’t even have to be a romantic relationship. Its general usage is on the rise, though.
A college friend had been married 4 or 5 years when a third person asked her when she and her husband were going to "get with it" and have children. I witnessed this interchange and was appalled! My friend and her husband had just buried their two year old son. Please keep those comments to yourself.
Oh wow I'm very sorry for their loss I wish them nothing but positivity and good health for the future and honestly it's no one's business but theirs whenever they plan on having children and if they even want to have more none of anyone's business just be happy for them and comfort them in any hardship and respect their privacy. Very sorry for their loss and hope they are doing better emotionally 💕 sending my best thoughts and wishes to your friend and her husband
So sorry for your friend's loss. 😢
I just wanted to point out a flip side. Of course you were appalled...you KNEW what happened. I don't know how the exchange went, but it's like you expected the person to know that their son died. Most people ask a young couple that with the best intentions and if they did know, they wouldn't ask. Also, how people react to the question will determine how the conversation goes. While losing a child is extremely hard and consuming for the parents, you can't assume that everyone knows. I don't think castigating people without the knowledge is appropriate. Unless, of course, the person has always been an asshole and knew about their loss... Just my thoughts. ✌🏼
@@bonagrad92 Doesn't matter if they knew they had lost a child or not, telling a couple to "get with it" and have kids Is just super rude and cringey.
@@David-hr8mq Really, it's going to depend on who the person is. A college friend that's always spoken like that and that language being "acceptable" between friends or a complete stranger. If it was a friend, then suddenly the "acceptable" language is deemed inappropriate because they didn't know of their loss? It's all about intent. While it may be cringy to you, it's not cringy to others. And honestly, I'm not about to crucify someone I don't know over their language because I don't know the whole story and what I do know is one-sided.
Pretty offensive question unless you know the person well & even then I might be offended by it.
We aren't that up-tight here in the USA, well at least in most of the South, I can't speak for my Northern neighbors. You can generally ask us anything in a respectful way; if you're a foreigner, we will understand and be more forgiving. If it's a subject that we aren't comfortable with, we will most likely, kindly, tell you. The South, I feel, is more easy going and acceptable of deeper conversations with strangers as long as the conversation is carried in a respectful manner.
I really enjoy your videos, you both seem to be kind and respectful young people. Thank you for being so polite towards the USA.
In college, after a long weekend, I asked a classmate "what happened to your leg?" thinking he'd been in a minor skiing accident. He gave me a disgusted look and said "I lost it in a mining accident". I'd never noticed his limp previously. I just stood there with a stupid look on my face. 😳
This is one that gets overlooked because it doesn't apply to many people. I have a chronic health problem that is sometimes assumed to be a temporary injury. That's always awkward.
I live in the deep South. When a new person moves to the area, the question have you found a church home yet, it is not to be nosy and NO ONE forces anyone to go to church. Since so many people here go to church, people are asking to try to be helpful, friendly, and neighborly. If a new person moves to your neighborhood, you bring a pie, cookies, casserole, some kind of food to be welcoming. The conversation may include have you found a local vet? Have you found a local Dr? I know some great restaurants. I have found that there are some great deals at this store or that store. My favorite stylist/barber is at this salon. Oh BTW, have you found a church home? If they say yes, you say great. If they say no, you say I would love to welcome you to our church and show you around. We have great programs for all ages and VBS is in 2 weeks so I would be glad to help you sign your kids up if you would like. To which new neighbor would say either Wow, thank you that would be so helpful. OR maybe what was the name of your church again. Ok. We will be sure to think about it. OR if they don't go to church you would say Well if you ever decide you would like to try it, the people at our church are very warm and friendly just let me know if you ever have any questions and that is the end of it. The lady in the video doesn't understand because she, I am sorry, is a Yankee and doesn't understand Southern culture. The question is intended to help new people get settled into the area comfortably and to be helpful.
I was at the grocery store with my mom when I think I was about 13 or 14 and around that time, my mother had a hysterectomy and she was upset about it. Some woman approached my mom and asked when the baby was due and my mom was visibly shocked and upset. She was overweight, but just because someone is overweight, doesn't mean they are pregnant. I would never ask anyone even if they are pregnant because I don't know their circumstances and I don't want to upset anyone like that woman upset my mom.
That happened to my mother, too.
You two are such a joy and you bring joy to the world with who you are. Thank you!!!
Where I live in the US (Minnesota) generally people don't talk about politics in public, but it definitely is way more common for people who support democrats to talk about politics in cities and republicans in rural areas. It makes for very awkward conversation because they always assume you agree with them.
Considering the politics in Minnesota--Ilian Omar, Keith Ellison, etc., I'm not surprised nobody wants to be reminded.
I used to be a higher education teacher. I once said to my class right before an election that they should all go and vote. A couple of them said “you just want us to vote for your guy!” I said “Absolutely not. I don’t care who you vote for. But if you don’t vote, you’ve lost the right to complain about the results. So, don’t come to me and bitch about the election.” 🙄
Glad you're no longer teaching.
@@markupton1417 Because I told people they should vote? And without giving my opinion on who to vote for? Glad you don't vote.
In certain states in the US like mine (Nevada) it's perfectly legal to carry a gun unless it's posted not to or a federal building, bank, casino etc. I would never ask someone why. I was at the grocery just the other day and a gentleman had on a side arm and nobody thought twice about it.
lucky, if i open a carry my hellcat people will give me the evil eye in Philadelphia.
When I worked in Nevada it was an eye opener. I now wish all states had the same law!!!!!!!!
Count the number of days that people of Nevada can still do that, Nevada is turning blue each passing year.
@Harold Cruz , let’s go Brandon
@@haroldcruz8550 You got that totally ass backward. NV is and always will be blue. Legal gambling, drinking and prostitution must have just slipped by your radar. US history shows NV became a state to turn the tide of slavery and was a safe haven for run away slaves. Even the state colors are BLUE and silver.
My circle of friends have a rude joke about weight loss we throw at each other "Did you loss wight? Ohh no, you found it. Thre it is" 😂😂😂 only amongst friends.
With regards to money, at least in the western U.S., it's long been considered rude to ask a farmer, "how many acres do you have?" or asking a rancher how many head of cattle they run. It's the same as asking how much money they have.
That is exactly like taking a look in their wallet! It is their wallet and livelihood.
You can ask me, I'm all hat and no cattle 🤣
I have 10 acres and live in the country and am very proud of what I got. Not only do I tell them what crops I have and animals but so do my neighbors. I don't know anyone who doesn't like to talk about it (I must amend this a little. WEED growers don't like to talk about their crops🤣). I think it's more of a city thing like I mentioned earlier. The video they watched was definitely directed toward city folk because it got a lot wrong about what rural people think.
@@Big_Tex you aint no farmer. Yer a cowboy! XD bless you
Regarding the voting stickers- it’s in part because some people don’t realize even though it’s one singular vote, it’s a privilege to have that vote and it can still change things. That’s why a lot of people put up their stickers to motivate others to also vote. It was the same idea with the vaccination and a lot of influencers were telling others to make sure they get vaccinated whether it was through ads, stickers, or any other merchandise.
I would never criticize the government of the UK to a Brit but people worldwide seem to think that it's ok to criticize the government of the USA to us. Sort of bothers me.
Why? They deserve criticism.
Just started watching that watch maybe three or four videos I love you guys you are so respectful and I can feel your kind and loving hearts
My wife asked a lady at the store how many months along she was and she answered,”I’m not pregnant, dear!” Very embarrassed, she quickly exited the conversation and has never asked anyone ever again.
That very same thing happened to a woman I know. She was not pregnant. She had a bit of a tummy though. She was at a social gathering and another woman came up and asked how far along she was. Moral: Never Assume!
Kind of Reminds me of that movie 2 weeks notice with high grant and Sandra Bullock. 😂
The Rule is: unless you are actually witnessing the head coming out, don't assume
Oh yes.. I’ve done that.. ahhh, never again!
@@kitkakitteh if I see as much as a tail I'm gonna assume.
I'm an American. I really liked this. RE: the "are you tired" For "Whovians" (Dr.Who fans) there is an episode where the PM, Harriet Jones, has done something he doesn't like. he says,"I could take you out with 6 words" (out from being PM) . So he whispers to one of her aids (a whisper campaign) saying "Don't you think she looks tired?" The next thing you know, she's not the PM anymore!
I've had people ask me before why I'm not married, and it's such a confusing weird question that doesn't have a simple answer. It's not like there's a store with women sitting on shelves and you can just pick one out that you like and bring her home. I'll usually respond with something like, "well, why aren't you a millionaire?"
The proper response to why aren't you married is simple..... because I don't want to be married? Or just a simple because I'm not
@Thrill, many people would reply with: "I just haven't found the right one, yet."
Mail order brides?
"Why aren't you a millionaire?" I love that response! I'm going to remember that one.
I just tell them yes I'm married AND I have a boyfriend. They usually go silent.
When I was a wee lad, I asked my aunt if she were pregnant and she said, "No, Honey, I'm just fat."
The questions about "are you married? why not?" and "do you have kids? why not?" really applies more to if you're talking to a woman.
Because when those questions are asked to a woman there's often judgement implied there. The question asked with the implication that she should be married or should have kids, and thus if she isn't it means that the person asking thinks she's living her life wrong.
A man is less likely to think much of a question like that.
guys get these questions too mo difference
Really? The only person that had any kind of judgment to ask me those questions was my 90 year old (Greatest generation) grandmother. Either I have thick skin and more confidence in myself than most women or I'm a man...and I'm definitely not a man. I do agree that asking why not is one question too far, but if a woman sees judgment it just might be her...meaning if the question bothers her it's because she's allowing it to. Anytime I was asked why not, I answered differently. Why not? "Because I haven't found a man worthy of me." "Because I have too much baggage and I haven't found a strong enough man who can deal with it." "Because I'm high maintenance." And so on. It just boils down to intentions. If it's being said to be mean or insulting then it's a problem. Just my experiences... ✌🏼
Lmfao just because certain women (I’m guessing you included) are insecure about their lifestyles doesn’t mean you get to apply malicious intent to someone who’s genuinely trying to get to know you better. This an example of the ‘patriarchy’ you guys are always shouting about? lol
@@jimmyrhoades650 I was just explaining the context of why some people don't like those questions.
What the hell is your problem?
@@bonagrad92 What is your problem?
Honestly, people on this channel are so defensive!
I was explaining the context of why some people don't like those questions...seriously, you damn well know that it's women who are more likely to not like them!
Why is your first instinct to come to a UA-cam comment and be a 'Well I'm a woman and I'm not like that! I guess I must just be more secure in myself than other woman!"
I'm not gonna say that makes you sound insecure...but it's interesting you feel the need to write a whole essay about you're Not Like Other Girls.
We had a coach ask another teacher when her baby was due. She said 6 months ago. He was mortified. He was a legendary coach and very proper. Luckily the teacher thought it was funny.
I feel like talking about money has become a lot more acceptable in the US. Not necessarily with older generations (50+), but with people under the age of 50 it's more common. Especially with the recent craze of people living more moderately and not getting themselves into massive debt makes it easier for people to talk about money.
For this entire Taboo issue of asking questions...the MOST IMPORTANT things to remember are: Be courteous and polite in your quarry and if they avoid answering... DONT PUMP FOR INFORMATION...let it be...you can ask any questions here as long as you remember those 2 very important unspoken unwritten rules...
We also say as a female, my girlfriend and I went such-and-such. That does not mean I'm gay it just means she's my friend and she's a girl. When someone says to me oh you look beautiful today or you look nice today the first thing I think is well what do I look like every other day chopped liver
I totally get you!
I know I generally wear the same 4-5 outfits. If people tell me I look good it's because I did something special!
Yes as a married woman I call my good friends that are girls..my girlfriends. As far as when someone tells me I look really good one day I don’t think it means I looked bad the other days, just that I look extra good this day. Lol.
I just commented the same thing. I don't feel insulted tho - it just make me laugh to myself.
Here in the US we use little sister/brother and baby sister/brother. I'm the oldest of three girls, I refer to the middle sister as my little sister and the youngest is my baby sister (to this day she is still a big baby!) The youngest is also referred to as the baby, no matter how old they are.
Our elementary school is Pre-Kindergarten to 5th grade. Middle school is 6th, 7th & 8th grades, and high school is 9th thru 12th. Years ago they grade levels were different and they used Jr and Senior high.
If you were to ask me if I had kids, I'd say "No" and if you asked why, I'd answer "I find them way more annoying than cute."
The goal of rules like this is to keep people estranged from each other. It's presented as "not safe", but honestly, one of the best ways to overcome any hostility in such subjects is to talk to someone, openly and honestly, and listen to someone with interest. Even if you don't end up agreeing about something like politics, you will at least have learned someone's views on it.
I absoltly love this video. Great job as usual guys!!!! I have a condition that keeps me from having children. I have no problem with someone such as a co-worker asking "Do you have kids" It's the follow-up questions that bother me. No matter how you ask "Why" My thought is "If you were close enough to deserve an answer to that you wouldn't have to ask". *LOL* Because then it puts the person in a weird position of figuring out how much to disclose about some pretty personal issues. Even if the answer is "We don't want them" or "We're not ready yet".
They’re wondering how a video about 10 questions is 15 minutes long. I was wondering how a video about 10 questions is 33 minutes long 😂
🤣🤣😂😂
I talk to strangers a lot. Drives my kids nuts😂😂😂 But..it seems like strangers always come up to me and start telling me their life stories and all their problems. My hubby and I went to Florida and a woman came up and started talking to me about her boyfriend. Within ten minutes she was crying and I was hugging her😂😂
You have an empathic soul that draws ppl in and they feel safe and like they have always known you. I have children that follow me around, and sometimes I have to walk by their ppl again so they will go back to them. It is a blessing.
@@iro6612 three ppl here talking and not one mention of Trump. Until you did, why? You do know that not everything is wrapped up in politics right? Yet here you are. Idk or even care if you like or hate Trump, but when no one is even talking politics best to not start in on it.
@@IMCODERED yeah I am not really sure where this person was going, but sometimes we need to leave politics aside and still love our fellow humans. I just wanted to say it is ok to talk about other things outside of politics and we were not talking about politics so why bring it up? Oh well.
@ciscokid0110, it's what we live for; driving our kids crazy by talking to strangers! LOL! My son and daughter have grown accustomed to my doing that. My eldest granddaughter says it's embarrassing, but when I ask her why, all she will say is "It just is." Kids! LOL!
I feel that these topics are not necessarily off limits. For her target audience (English learners), it makes sense to avoid them since it's harder to judge the nuances of communication in your non-native tongue. That being said, there is a big difference in culture in the different areas of the US (e.g. rural vs urban), so each one depends on all of those factors as well.
I was a Home Health Aide for 20 years and I was asked by family members for my opinion on how much time their lived one had left to live, and I was soooo uncomfortable because I can't predict how long someone lives. I understood why they asked but I only replied for a long time I hope.
Me too. Hospice Home Health Aide. When family asked how long I thought their loved one would last, I'd say it was up to God.
I think the "Are you tired?" or "You don't look well" only becomes a problem when the person is NOT sick, NOT tired, and (up until that point) feeling good about how they look! But as the person asking the question, you usually DON'T KNOW for sure. If they're SUPER red (or SUPER white) in the face and sniffling and sneezing and coughing and visibly falling asleep, that's one thing.
But for instance, I put on some new makeup one day and I REALLY liked how it looked (at least in my bathroom mirror at home). I thought I looked really good and I was feeling extra confident and happy about my appearance versus usual. Now maybe the shade of makeup I was wearing was a little off or maybe it was just different than my colleague was used to, but someone asked something like "You look sick. Are you feeling OK? You really don't look well." Up until that point my confidence level was through the roof and with a couple innocent questions, it dropped to the floor. Now I'm questioning myself, my appearance, why did I think I looked good, why was I so confident. I thought "I must look REALLY bad, certainly in comparison to what I thought, for this person to say I looked ill." Now I'm dejected, sad, embarrassed, felt the need to go to the bathroom and try to see what she was talking about. Pretty miserable, especially in comparison to how good I felt about myself just a few moments ago.
So if you not REALLY REALLY TOTALLY sure that something is wrong, don't say it, don't ask. You may inadvertently sort of ruin someone's day if they are NOT ill, and especially if they liked the way they looked before you said something.
I would consider these taboo subjects anywhere in the world.
I share y’all with my friends here in the US and we all love British accents and dry humor
I agree. I don't think there is anything specific to USA here.
I am a straight woman and I have, on many occasions said, "Wow, you are beautiful" or " Wow, you look stunning in that dress*. I compliment both sexes and my kids always looked at me funny when I did. Oh well. I'm sure I brightened their day.
I tell you, I am old school and I think this new way of calling a bf or gf their "partner". It makes me cringe, it just sounds so... unromantic. Someone saying their "partner" was usually someone who was gay. It made more sense then. It cleared the air. All was good.
But today u have 14 yr olds saying "my partner".
Oh sorry did I just roll my eyes out loud?
I have a joke for you. A man was annoyed at his family because at every wedding, the older members of his family would say "You're next" and he wanted them to stop. So he would go to a funeral and if he would see them, he would say to them "You're next". Lol. If you want to find out if someone is from New York ask them to say coffee. New Yorkers say "Cawfee ".
Thanks for the giggle.
@@adriannecote5319 you're welcome.
My husband and I both like to compliment people, especially if we can tell they are having a bad day. He has asked me how he can compliment a woman without being offensive. I tell him to compliment their outfit or the way they did their makeup instead of complimenting them directly. For example: "You look very good in that dress." is not ok, but"That dress looks very good on you." usually is ok. I have told men that their haircut or facial hair fits them very well. Basically, I have found that focusing a compliment on a choice they made in makeup, clothes, hair, etc. is usually safe.
At the store the other day I said this: "Sir, I don't know if bald was a choice or not but it looks very good on you!" It was completely true, it fit him extremely well, but the compliment had the possibility of going very wrong. Thankfully it didn't. His face lit up and he had a huge smile when he thanked me. 😊
As someone who can't have children, I always dread getting asked why I don't have children. It's amazing how many times people ask me and my husband that question.
I would say the general theme of all of these is the same. The United States is a very extroverted culture, but when it comes to things culturally deemed as personal, we don't want to be asked about it. But we will probably tell you on our own if it's a subject we are willing to talk about, and if you volunteer information about yourself we'll probably volunteer similar information about ourselves in response, or politely deflect to another subject.
Things that aren't considered rude to ask about is pretty much anything else, which honestly isn't a whole lot. Work, especially, what jobs we have, what tasks we do at work, that's usually fair game with anybody. Travel, or weekend plans, I think is also pretty open for conversation. If there's a major holiday coming up, or a school break, people will ask each other if they're going anywhere special. People will ask each other if they've ever been to places, as well, even if just local events or attractions. People will also ask about where people live, what city, town, neighborhood, that kind of thing. Some people may get touchy but not too many people would, I think. The people most likely to be touchy about it would be those in lower income brackets, if they perceive a socioeconomic disparity with you, and that you might be suggesting they live in some undesirable place if you ask about their living situation. Then there's the general small talk stuff. Sports is a big one, particularly local teams. Even if somebody doesn't follow sports much, they won't be offended if somebody tries talking to them about it. The weather, particularly in places where weather is a major event in people's lives, is also a big topic of conversation.
Perhaps as a general rule, Americans don't mind asking each other about things they do, or might be doing, or want to be doing, but they do mind being asked about things they are, like their identities, and their status with respect to other people. There is a strong cultural emphasis in America that everyone is equal, and pointing out differences (and Americans have more differences than in most other countries) is definitely something that makes people uncomfortable.
I was born in Jackson, MS to a Sicilian Italian immigrant mother (who I inherited Italian citizenship from) and an Anglo-French and Hispanic father (his family had been in the US since the 1800s). Growing up in Mississippi (where people were still fairly racist at the time) in the late 80s and early 90s I got asked, "What are you?", referring to my race (which is a variation on the where are you really from question), all the time. I mean I was a bilingual brown kid, I couldn't possibly have been a "real" American. It's actually one of the things that stands out the most to me about my childhood.
@Rico Ten, I'm technically multiracial (15% Berber, 10% Black, 5% Asian, and a whole bunch of European). Both my Dad and Mom are part Black and Berber (from the Moorish invasion of Iberia and Sicily) and I'm also part Asian from somewhere on my Mom's side.
This points out extreme differences in someone from the North and the South. Any question asked in a kindly respectful manner shows interest in the person as an individual.
You guy's are right it's all about "context" a lot of these questions are ok depending on who you're asking and how you ask them, most Americans will feel alright if you ask out of concern, feeling you're actually interested in them
I live in the US and I love to discuss politics. I’ll discuss them with people I agree with and people I disagree with. I just find it very interesting.
I went to a water park with my cousin and his wife. His wife and I were standing in line for a ride and there was a fat lady in a bikini in front of us. My wife's cousin asks "are you pregnant? when are you due?". The lady turns around and says "I'm not pregnant!". 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
"You aren't? you have that certain glow." That'll get you past the problem.
I’ve been asked “What are you?” usually by college age males. My answer (with a straight face) “The last time I checked, a woman.” Shuts them up every time.
I am in a grief support group because my dad passed away and a lot of the people in my group are women whose child died! If someone asks them if they have kids, then it hits a nerve! So I would never ask someone who I don't know if they have kids. I would wait for them to mention it.
Firstly Hope you are ok Ron and we are always here on Discord for a chat if you need one! Secondly i completely agree with that!
@@TheBeesleys99 I went to the link in your channel description to your discord and joined but it says I can't message you. What I need to do in order to talk to you on there?
Thank you. My son (only child) died by suicide and this is a situation that comes up time and time again. Honestly, it isn't a big deal if someone asks if I have kids but if after I reply 'no' they ask 'why' I will very bluntly respond, I had a son for almost 15 years but he killed himself ..their reaction to that tells me they won't be so nosey in the future.
Thanks, I never thought of that.
A friend of mine was pregnant with twins. One of them died during the pregnancy. The other twin was born full term and healthy. A few years later she had another baby. Through the years she would be asked how many children she had. She usually answered that she had 2 boys. Every once in a while she would answer that she had 3. She didn’t always explain that one had died.
I was taught that, If you don't have anything nice to say, Don't say anything at all!! & I immediately change the subject to "the weather "so glad the Sun is out or I can't wait for spring, I love the fall colors" 👍
Hey guys, great reaction. In regards to the "Appearance", I think she might be wrong; people liked to be told they look "Great", "Pretty", "Beautiful", because we dress how we feel and we want people to know without asking. If a man walks in with a $5,000 suit or a women in a well-fitted black dress, you really think they are doing it "just to wear it"?
And on social media it is no difference; people on UA-cam, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, what their videos and pics "liked" or "❤️", right... Just in a different kind of way, but for the same purpose.
I'd have to disagree with commenting on others appearance.
A person may become genuinely uncomfortable because they have trouble accepting compliments of any kind (if they have social anxiety, for example), or if they have been bullied for their looks in the past, they may feel you are mocking them.
Some girls who have been sexually abused have reported that their abuser would tell the girl she was pretty as they "groomed" the child for abuse. Hearing something like that may bring up horrible memories.
Those types of comments are better saved until you know them better.
It depends on the tone. It could be a genuine compliment or insinuating they never usually look nice and today is an exception.
@@tinacasarotto1264 I believe that also, the tone and how well you get along with the person. It has been proven that people are social animals right and even though people are starting to thinking differently, depend down in our subconscious, we want to be accepted and we want to be notice.
For example in the movie "What Women Want", with Mel Gibson (yes I now that is a very old movie), but when he gets the ability to hear what women think, he heard a young assistant thinking to herself how she is not wanted, how she wants be notice, and how if she was "gone" no one would care, and at the end of the movie, Mel Gibson saves her life and you can see in her face when he tells her he can "see" her, while she was saying how she thought no one cared if she would kill herself, and that no one even knew her name.
I now that was a long example, but people still want to fell accepted and if a man or woman, can take a "WOW!! YOU LOOK GORGEOUS TODAY!!", just a compliment (like you said all depending on tone you are using), I think the world would be just a little better.
I always find something to compliment on, because I love to spread happiness, corny I know but it’s true…
I live down South and we will ask Yankees where they are from once we hear their accent
I live in north Carolina and never ask people that. Maybe because I lived in New York for years and found it really annoying when people asked me that when I had to move back to help my parents. I still get strange looks from people down here when they hear me say coffee.
About who is an American: In the Southwest while waiting in a grocery line someone was talking on his cell phone in "Mexican." The person behind him said "This is America, speak English." The response he got was "I am speaking Navaho, if you want to speak English go back to England."
You'll be surprised that Chinese people and Latinos/Hispanics are not afraid to ask others about how much they earn. When I lived in Mexico, people asked me that question a lot. This was especially true because I am from the US.
Politics, money, sexual topics and religion are off limits 99% of the time. These topics can only be discussed with very close friends and family in limited situations.
Personally, I have do not have problem with the question, Are you married? But I guess some people do.
As a guy, I think is also ok to tell a woman she looks good in a certain outfit. But he must be very careful how he says it. In my previous office, I would say "I like that dress or blouse" to some of the ladies I had known for sometime working there. Tone is very important.
I was training a new hire yesterday and she asked me “are you married? You have kids?”
And I had to say “I am not, and I do not,” and that makes me feel like I have to explain how I just haven’t found the right lady, and that’s a very personal matter for me and I was bummed out having to talk about it.
And to be clear, she’s married and has kids and had already told me that, so she was really just making conversation. But I’d have been just as happy if she hadn’t asked that.
Definitely love to see you two react to videos about the United States as a American I have always wondered these things too and it's interesting to see people take our citizenship tests and everything else that comes with the United States lol I never realized like morals or things we do here that is not common in other countries very interesting to see thanks for the uploads 💗
I was running the Auto Service Dept at a dealership years ago and one of my
customers was a reverend/pastor/preacher at a local small church. He loved
beating the book. "Stop by this Sunday", "Come check us out", "Haven't seen ya"
asking my thoughts, reciting verses, and I always tried too politely change the
subject. Finally, one morning he had an appointment. I greeted him, he looked
me right in the eye and asked, "Have you ever wondered why you're here?"
I replied, "To procreate." I got a look of horror in return. I politely added, "all
living things on earth, you, me, chickens, vegetables, the smallest of organisms
purpose is to ensure the species continues to thrive, carry on." "I've got 3 children,
and 3 grandchildren, my work is through here." "YOUR here for an oil change and
tire rotation, is that correct?" He nodded and handed me his keys. 😊
It does seem to me that, in a lot of her examples, she is more sensitive than most people I know in middle America.
For example, “Are you married?” would not make most people I know uncomfortable. The same for questions about whether you have children or if you go to church.
The rude part, to be sure, would be in any challenging follow-up questions as to why or why not.
But the initial question, it seems to me, would be unlikely to give offense to many Americans.
Completely agree.
Agree, except the church one, only because that always has the follow up questions.
The answer to part of your questions is the difference between in person and in writing. People ask if you’re married in writing but they probably wouldn’t in person. That’s why there are so many “bold” statements in social media that would never be said to your face.
Wow, as a gay mixed race older male who has worked in customer service for many years, so many of these questions come up and it's usually awkward if I want to answer honestly. It ties into the politics piece - gay marriage is a very hot topic here in the States. Then there's always the "Are you married" question. For a long time, the correct answer was no, but that felt like a denial of the long-time commitment that I was in, and the follow up would usually be, "when you find the right girl" which made it even more awkward. Once the subject of sexuality was on the table, then there were the invasive questions of someone trying to educate themselves or just being curious. As far as race, I look Hispanic, which has political connotations here in the US, and language confusion. I took it upon myself to learn Spanish in school but am not quite fluent. A lot of people react to how I look, and when interacting with me I debunk their original impressions, I get the "where are you from" question. I always reply with where I grew up here in the States and try to leave it there. I guess I'm the reason why all these questions are taboo, lol.
She makes me laugh without trying, He makes me smile without trying. Together they make me want to watch.
My girlfriend is 100% full blooded Korean, she was adopted when she was 3, so she looks fully Korean, but sounds fully American. If you were talking to her on the phone you'd think she was a blue eyed blond hair girl. Sometimes people ask her where she's from and it doesn't offend her at all, she understands what they mean. You can't be overly sensitive about things like that, as long as they're not saying it derogatorily or angrily then it's just a harmless question.
My cousin adopted two kids from Ukraine, when they were 5 and 6 (they’re blood sisters). They are blond and blue eyed. When they first got here, people were shocked that white, blond, blue eyed girls DID NOT speak English. If you met the girls now, you’d never know they weren’t born here-they speak English with no accent.
The Dutch are great mimics. I had three Girlfriends there that you would guess were Americans. One came down to visit me in Schweinfurt, Germany. I put her up in the Guest House (Army Hotel). She spoke German and within minutes she shifted to their Dialect and all the people at the Hotel thought she was from the area. Another worked as a receptionist at a hotel in Limburg during the summers and would switch unconsciously between American English and English English accents depending who she was speaking to. I worked with and was friends with the British Army Soldiers there and was always invited to their parties. I took her once to a British party and watched her shift accents at least three times a minute. I wish I had been able to film it. :)
where i'm from. Lorida Florida if a stranger talked to a local, within an hour, they would know their family history three generations back. we are proud of our roots.
Keep up the good videos. Your doing a great job
❤❤
Migration of Monarch Butterflies, or Hummingbirds. Fascinating stuff.
Yea, this video is for living an extremely sanitized existence. None of these are taboo just possibly causing a volatile response.
These are NOT taboo topics in the US. This is a list this lady put out of those she doesn’t want to talk to people about.
This video bothers me because this is more and more of not being able to exercise our 1st Amendment right to free speech! You can ask me anything as long as you are willing to hear my answers. The US Constitution does NOT guarantee you wont get your feelings hurt. And it bothers me that certain groups of people are allowed to use words that other groups can’t. Freedom of speech should be just that.
In the context of asking if they had found a church, and a few years ago, because she was a child, his intention was probably to invite them to attend his church to see if they would like to go there.