Stop Disowning yourself to Belong
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- Опубліковано 22 лип 2024
- #highlysensitivepeople #relationships #codependency
Stop Disowning yourself to Belong
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XO,
Candace
My new mantra "your perception, your projection, your problem "!
Extraordinary person reading this, you are not defined by your circumstances or your past mistakes. It takes courage & bravery to choose growth like you’re doing. You are capable and deserving of a wonderful life. All that matters is that you’re good in your heart and that will change the course of your life for the better! Much love and I believe in you deeply ✨🧡 - Mary
😘😘😘
I love listening to you. You have changed my life in the most tremendous way, and I want to thank you. I’m learning to love and validate myself, and block bad people who have tried putting me down. Because of you, I have realized I want to help people with these types of mental health issues and get them feeling worthy. I have been contemplating going back to school for my masters in nursing but didn’t know what to specialize in, and after working on myself, I’ve decided to go back to school for psych nurse practitioner. I’m excited to start a new journey. Thank you again.
That’s so amazing ❤
No more conditional love for ourselves!!
😲 this resonants SO much! I'm pushing 50 and beat myself up for not having my $h!t together. Know I know to own & honor myself despite my abandonment issues. THANK YOU Candace ❤
I find it's not wise to confront a narcissist Candace even if things feel weird. Better to quietly quit them. Ppl might say that's a cop-out but not w/Narcs. You can't win w/them. I woke up after years w/toxic frenemies as a boundary-less codependent. I was a sitting duck & found ppl that matched the energetic being of my Narc, ex-alcoholic Mom. I admire you & I love the work you do Candace - a true over-comer & Worker of The Light! You are such a wise person who has lived what you teach! God bless you & keep up the good work being a Worker of The Light!
how synchronistic is this! I was reading Melissa Feick's book and there was a chapter on karma in particular relating to family patterns and dynamics and how the goal is to transcend it but not perpetuate the same shame, guilt-tripping, judgement etc even as we break free from the tribe and do what is true and honours our own journey and calling. I didn't realise until this year how much i had subconsciously followed the ways of my family going into corporate or business and thinking that what was right and successful for them would be the formula for myself. This year has been an amazing year of awakenings and revelations and i am still healing and learning as i am about to quit and start over to that which is aligned with me and not let my family or friends try to stray me off my path. I will def consider your courses in 2022.
I felt the very moment that this happened. It actually physically hurt me to fit in. No one understood it was. I was becoming what my partner needed me to be but be. I still did it. I thought this was my forever relationship. I even explained to him what was going on. He didn't support me.
I recently went through two terrible losses and he walked away from me too.
I had realized quickly that I triggered him and let him go too . I am not there yet but I am working my way back to my path. Just taking time to grieve. Thank you Candice. I get reinforcement that I am headed in the right direction when I see your videos.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Lol "Awesome! A lot of people are!" Made me laugh 😄
I still don’t really know anybody who knows how to mirror me emotionally except for my friend Elizabeth who is an empath and an ENFJ
Thank you from the bottom of my heart truly! 💖✨💖✨
Growing up, I was a tender heart as my mom put it… I have learned in the last five or six years that up was the early version of being a highly sensitive person. I had to kind of a Bandan myself because I was picked on at school for being authentic and genuine and though I try not to care too much what other people think about me, I do care because I want to be liked and I want to be excepted and I want to be loved. I feel much more love and acceptance here than I did in Portland Oregon where I was born and raised. I don’t exactly know that the persona of farmer that I have worn all these years is what I want to do on further reflection. But I am enjoying getting to Learn and grow in having new experiences actually doing farming and getting to live in the country and experience my longtime dream.
I forgot I’m a light worker. Healing the tribal injury seems so difficult. The tribe continues to injure me
I love your videos!! I'm a highly sensitive empath struggling from toxic codepency and I grew up with it thank you for being you!!
You are speaking directly to my soul Candace ♥️🦋 thank you for validating deep truths in myself. Thank you if or filling your own cup to give us your overflow. We all love you here
Thank you for lighting this point.
One of the only places where I was able to be myself and be appreciated fully was in the theater department in high school.
Ironic. I just posted "stand up for truth even if you're the only one standing."
Thank you very much for making these videos Candace. You are the first person I have ever seen or met who appears to truly understand highly sensitive people and their regular problems and needs. Not even Elaine Aron or Tom Falkenstein who wrote a book about highly sensitive men qualify for me on this level. I just discovered you recently and watching your videos is like a breath of fresh air for me. I feel validated in that I understand now that all of my perceived weaknesses shortcomings in life are actually simply the result of me being highly sensitive and that they are a perfectly natural part of who I am. Thank you.
You’re terrific Candace. Thank you - Shane
GREAT STUFF !!!!!!!!! THANKS 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃
Thank you!!
Thank you Candace! Your words are powerful!
This has been a breath of fresh air for me! Going through a difficult time with my spouse. I now get it. As all of the things such as HSP INFP/j and empath life has always been about being a Chameleon! It is exhausting not being your true self! Thank you for your amazing energy and mindfulness!
You are such a light in this world and universe. Thank you for all that you do
13:25 true to self 🌺❤️🩹
Candace, this is superb material. Heartfelt gratitude to you for this important and inspiring message. Much Love & Many Blessings to you!
i guess i missed the memo :$ i did shadow work first, now working on the golden shadow lol
Oh my God Candace thank you so much I’m looking forward to working with you this video seems like it’s a big part of my problem I woke up in the middle of the night and saw this notification so glad I did God bless you and everyone who’s watching your channel looking forward to working with you more and listening to more videos
Warriors always win
I'm in a weird situation with a man.
I think I love him,
but I don't know if this thing we have is actually healthy,
or really just another trauma bond.
I need prayers. Him and I both do,
that whatever this is between us, will ultimately be for our own healing.
And that we will co-create something that is loving and magical and beautiful and happy and wonderful and miraculous and healthy, together.
Love and/or friendship to last lifetimes...
Thank you! Your videos/messages have helped me make sense of myself and my life. I appreciate you and your work. 💕
I like this , thank you🍁⛄ 💖🍀🙏
I can never disown myself to belong It does not work that way
I am grateful for your resonating vibrations!!! ✨🙏🙌☺️💗💖 (as usual, it’s SOoo fitting with the current collective!!) 👏🥰
Omg needed this message today what a timing
❤️❤️❤️ Thank you!
When I left my ex narc, 90% of my relationships also had to go with it! Now, I cannot even be around manipulative people as I have a radar
I see how used I was for my energy and making people feel great and handling everybodies problems for them
Now I am left with the trauma and have only myself and the universe, and my children
I had to lose myself in order to realise I had to find myself
I have a long way to go
I don't know how I am going to do this
I just know that the trauma is paralysing me and going into inner child is the automatic pattern, shrinking myself to belong
I don't want to even be around any of these manipulative people, so why am I trying to fit in with them anyway
Wow, this makes sooooo much sense, thank you.
Thank you for sharing this with us 🙏
Incredible !💗
Love this vid. Been working on this a lot lately.
Thank you💗💗💗
So good. So wonderful. Another great video :-)
Thank you xx
I have followed you for so long and have never left a written response. This video resonated with me more than I can ever say. It would take me a year to explain so I will simply say thank you. I have never met you but I actually finally feel seen.
💕 So healing to hear this right now
213th Like. (212 now on 12/1/21.) Blessings of love and light to everyone. :)
Candace, or anyone part of the tribe, do you know any videos I can watch to learn about "becoming." I started my healing work nearly 3 years ago and I feel like I'm at the point where I want to "become." I'm guessing it's fear of the unknown holding me back. I feel like I have one foot in the old me and one foot in the new me. Although I don't know who the new me is. When you are ready to let go of the old, how do you when you don't know who you will become? I've done emotional wound meditations where I observe the wounded inner child and I talk to her. This helps. I recognise when I do this I'm my higher self. But when I'm not meditating, it's hard to maintain my higher self. It's hard to explain. Does anyone relate to this?
i know what u mean about the sense of becoming and in-betweens. Aren't we a work-in-progress. It seems it never was about the destination and doing but more so the journey and being. That holds more space for healing, grace, breakthroughs. I sometimes still struggle and wonder if i am doing something wrong bc it can be slow compared to someone else who is accelerated but also that mine and urs is unique and chosen by our soul. And since time is an illusion and separation is an illusion, guess our higher self is never separate from us. I remember my team once showed me a card and it reflected what u stated about fear of the unknown with one foot in the old and one foot in the new, the message for me was you claim you want change but you hold yourself back. If this is true, then the time has come to dive off and immerse yourself fully in the waves of change.
Beautiful reply Maythe. I absolutely related to you for so long, but I’ve since been able to slowly move past this with feminine embodiment. Getting back into my body and my divinity with Rewilding for women by Sabrina Lynn on UA-cam. When I do her practices I embody my highest self for hours, and it’s allowed me to make changes in my life beyond my inner realm - I’ve completely changed careers and the relationship I have with my family even though my small self was terrified to do so, amongst other things
Void to be understood, yes, it was always been there and I looked for it to get filled in all relationships, never worked. I have stopped disowning my own power and I love and accept my unconditionally
Very problematic how difficult I didn’t abandon the parts of me I wanted For me. My siblings to jump off me. I’m unwell. From mega negative attacks are usually untrue / no fox no duck people who are badly behaved not begging suspicious people harm. Mega negative unempowerment doesn’t belong to them. . Care about reparent myself to not disown myself dishonor but unconditional love. My future is looking brighter and brighter. Love myself enough to space of my life heart belongs to me my happiness. More and more. Safe in my heart I’m honestly protected promoting myself. My needs are successful more and more.
Thank you for being my friend! I needed to hear this so much! I think about 98% of what you said really strongly resonated with me. Right now I am in Ohio but I grew up in Portland Oregon and Portland Oregon just did not work for me. Ohio is working out much better for me because I like being out in the country and doing farming. I do have to disown my political values to be safe though because I’m in an area of Trump supporters and I’m definitely not a Trump supporter. So the best thing that I’ve been able to Do to deal with this is to find some common sense statements that I can make that will lead to being excepted by people who are Trump supporters.
Totally, it’s a sick society.
A couple of things: I am living a life more authentic to myself and things are working out a lot better. The second thing is that I had a girlfriend in the past who couldn’t stand that I was free and open because she felt so constricted and unsafe to be herself and was constantly worried about being negatively judged by other people. She would get really mad at me for my just being myself which was really weird to me. It makes more sense to me now, but it was really perplexing at the time
Ok…this ☝️puts so many things into a beautiful perspective and unifies a lot of pieces that I have not had language for.
Thank you!!! I need to chew on this for a while
Why is it so hard to make a good connection? I feel like I have to be the life of the party, outgoing and crazy and I’m not that. I’m quiet, I do try but I feel like I’m too mysterious to most. Mysterious, I don’t know… something along the lines … lol
Should one NOT take up a job? If that’s not what they want? Just to move far away from their toxic family?
How about this for a topic - How do we stay safe from channeling false light ? Or : How do we stay safe from entities not of the light who are - without us knowing - influencing all outcomes and stopping Gods plan from moving forwards ? If anyone wants to know the answers to these very relevant spiritual ascension questions - Please beloveds - watch our Archangel Michael channel ( just a prayer away ) Remember - nothing is your fault OK - God forgives ALL xx with love from The Archangel Michael. ( he who is like God )
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❤️❤️
How to you do these courses?
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❤🧡💛💚💙💜
Is removing those people from your life speaking up for yourself?
💕🙏🙏🙏🙏
BP buy
I wonder... i have had many occasions where i asked friends why they were triggered and they even lashed out more. How do you respond to that? Having their darkness 'exposed' is too scary for most people and so they prefer to stay in denial and gaslight. Thats what i noticed happened. More insight in regards to this would be awesome! Thanks💛💜🙏🏽
Hi Zion, I’ve also struggled with this before. It sounds liked you’ve made different attempts to resolve these conflicts. Often times it is best to keep your power to yourself. Get clear about your truth around the topic and stand firm in that.
Then Love & accept your friends for who they are and adjust your expectations moving forward.
Really hope this helped🧡
@@elevatedlife3884 thank you for your loving words. You know i feel so much resentment for the way i have been treated last years. Its truely been awefully unjust. I feel unable to let go of the pain and knowing that i HAVE to forgive them causes even more pain because i am unable to do so. It feels like i am betraying myself for doing that. When is it ever enough? When am i allowed to say; hey, you really behave like an asshole towards me and i am not going to accept it any longer. I feel so angry, betrayed and evil for having these truely hateful emotions. I rarelt felt hate in my life for anyone and i am the most forgiving person, but it has been enough. I will not betray myself any longer. I really appreciate your kind words and loving energy and i can feel it from here, but i have reached my limit. How can i ever forgive? I prayed for them, meditated on forgiveness, but i still feel soooo angry and sad. I can not force forgiveness... for now i just accept that i carry hate in my heart. I can not understand that others can sleep at night knowing they treated others unjustly just to protect their own ego and shadows..😢 Today i have no words of love hope or forgiveness. I even feel more compassion for an honest murderer, then for a lying gaslighter. True storu. I hate liars.
@@zion367 I just went through a major emotional release because I too experienced my own feelings of resentment.
Before you can forgive, I suggest that you heal yourself. You can do this by affirming to yourself that other people’s behavior does not define who you are. You are a beautiful person inside and out. You must not identify with their foolishness. Realize that you are more than their words. That experience does not paint who you are. You must nurture yourself.
I promise that once you’ve done this healing work within yourself - you will find forgiveness for them. You will realize that they were acting from fear or ignorance. You may even begin feeling sorry for them because you realize that they have lots of spiritual evolution to go through.
Let go, let universe take care of the rest. They will taste their own medicine.
@@elevatedlife3884 Yes i understand what you mean, but it is becoming so annoying because i deal with thisb on almost a daily basis. Last month i tried to seek help from a professional to share my pain and make an appointment to do so. The first woman i emailed was sooo rude and dominant to me on the phone. She totally bashed me and although i know i must have triggered her insecurity, her behaviour was totally unacceptable.
Then last week i visited another woman and when i spoke to her being and feeling very vulnerable, she too started to totally dominate me in words and behaviour. Interrupting me when i explained what had happened and telling me that she is not really interestd in what i had to say... very abusive and invalidating. She even went as far as gaslighting me. I did spoke out about it in a calm manner when she asked me why i felt a bit closed off. The thing is that i am looking for ways to find help to release my pain, but it seems that every corner i turn, people are casting their shadows onto me. I understand that they are in pain and i understand that this is sad, but i am also very done with it. I am no tool that they can abuse to find relief for their shitty emotions you know. I am a human being that also deserves to be treated with love, kindness and respect. Their words may not be the truth, but i see no reason why that means i need to let them just slide. Lately i have tried to not respond, but each time i do not respond i feel like i am totally abandon myself for the sake of saving others from pain. Perhaps it is also a fear within me. A fear of rejection, conflict and being seen as a "bitch". I am working on these things and trying to find out where they are coming from, but yesterday i realised it may be very challenging for me because i do not allow myself to tap into my anger anymore. Especially since i believe i need to have compassion for their pain. Does that make sense to you? Without healthy access to my own anger, there is a powerful force missing that i could use to assert myself in abusive situations. Now it causes me resentment because i do not speak out as i should.... So i realise that i need to connect with my anger more. Allow myself to feel what i feel amd not suppress it for the sake of being "nice".
@@zion367 Please believe when I say, I too had crummy experiences with therapist. I know what this is like.
But I notice that you seem very self aware and mindful around the nuances of the situation. I think that this may be a sign for you to heal your own pain. Journal, go for a run, dance to loud music, etc.
Obviously no one can give you what you need. However, you did a great job detailing for me what’s going on. This gift of healing and validation you can give to yourself 🧡