"The the Impotence of Proofreading," by TAYLOR MALI
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- Опубліковано 26 сер 2024
- This poem was not so hard to memorize as many people suspect. It's a string of jokes that follows a storyline, and all I have to do is remember the story and be sure to land the jokes in order. I wrote it in the late 1990s while teaching at a private school in New York City called The Browning School; indeed, when the poem was published in my book, "What Learning Leaves," I dedicated it to "the students of The Drowning School in New York, New York, NY."
Let me offer here my sincerest apologies to all the ASL interpreters over the years who have tried to interpret this poem for any hearing-impaired audience members. Sorry for turning the attention of the audience toward you in your moment of struggle. But thank you for adding to the performance and teaching us some ASL in the process! I will never forget the signs for IMPOTENCE, CLIT, and DOUCHE. Special mention must go here to Sarah Bement, the program coordinator for Deaf Studies at Northwestern Connecticut Community College, who remains the most successful interpreter of this poem ever! Yes, she's done it on at least three separate occasions (getting better each time!), but she COMMITS to every joke. She told me that sometimes she signs what I actually SAY, sometimes what I MEAN to say, and sometimes she needs to sign BOTH, back to back! The result is always the glorious and unmistakeable sound of deaf people laughing out loud (a split-second after the rest of the audience). Thank you and Godspeed wherever you are!
Lastly, this poem has cost a handful of teachers their jobs, and I am sorry about that, too. No poem is perfect for everyone, but seventh grade is too young to be given the text of this poem in its entirety.
Performed at the very first Page Meets Stage pairing at the Bowery Poetry Club on November 12, 2005, which featured me (Taylor Mali) and my mentor Billy Collins. I remember that this day started for me in Copenhagen, Denmark, at the end of a two-week long tour of international schools where I'd been teaching. After a frantic day of travel-thank goodness the time change worked to my advantage-the day finished sharing the stage with Billy Collins in front of a sold out crowd at the Bowery Poetry Club. As the evening progressed, you can see Billy begin to relax and enjoy himself more, chuckling in places during my poems. Special thanks to Chad Anderson for filming and editing the night.
I can't even imagine how hard it was to say all that without slipping up and using the right words.
This is one of the most interesting poems I have ever heard before. It is amazing how you’re able to speak typos in a normal way. I understand everything you are saying even though you’re saying it with typos because of your tones and that is what makes it such an amazing poem. I can understand it even with the purposely made mistakes. It is like a dig on technology because technology can not fix language and tone, only the physical word. I also like the Freudian slips.
Taylor is a hellacious orator
The way that it sounds just like a basic essay any teenager would write, but with the typos intact, is perfect.
'manly manly students' gets me every time
My Public Speaking teacher showed this to my class when we were going over how to write a speech outline. Very rarely have I ever laughed so hard while inside a classroom.
Dale Palmitier Dr Suess?
@@MgMtNick four reel 😂😂😂😂
I send this to my students all every term.
Nutjob with a Machete Funny enough... Correction: You send this to all of your students every term. Not to your students all every term.
Randy Lutcavich
:-) Thus proving the the impotence of proofreading! Especially if you're dyslexic like me.
Thank you! 😜
may leacher sent it to me as whale. so necessarily. see what i did there lol
every scholar and student should watch this - it's literally a prerequisite for the impotence of ensuring you relay your ideas in a coherent manner (importance). Yeah
“Humidifying experience” gets me every time 😂
I’ve watched this Hillary us video so manly times that I practicality have the the entirely poem mesmerized.
I love how much fun Billy Collins is having watching him. That's the best part for me.
The casual use of innuendos is so funny!
I am a high school English teacher, and this makes me CRY with laughter. My kids aren't so worried about getting into a good collegue. They are, however, worried about getting into a good "collage."
i come back every so often and watch this again, and it never fails to make me laugh
Once of the vest poems I Eden herd
It's been years since I've come back to this video. And because of you Mr. Mali, I read every typo in this tone. Including my own! Haha
Fantastic! Billy Collins giggling along side of Mali completely made this for me!
This is AMAZING! I laughed so hard but I couldn't keep myself from admiring he's talent for speaking.
It must have taken him hours of practice to get this perfect, as he just did!
Very creative. I'll remember it forever.
Two things. I can totally relate to this poem because I've completely fucked up words without realizing it until I turned in my assignment. One time, everyone in my English class was told to write a short story. Honestly, I thought I'd done really well. Then my teacher pulled me aside and basically asked me if I'd checked my work before turning it in. I lied and said yes. And her response was, "Then why did you say that the cops were shitting in every direction?" Obviously I meant to put shooting, but I was sort of tired at the time and just didn't catch it. And does anybody realize another thing about this poem? This guy basically created a new word. Assmates. I am totally going to use that from now on. Lol. But only if my classmates are being utter dumbasses.
This is a great pairing of two talented poets, Taylor Mali and Billy Collins.
Actually it's just Mali.
I love Taylor. A friend sent me here. I started feeling tingly at "totally, as if," and fell head over heels at "what teachers make." He turns me on. I hate school, my BA took 12 years and I am ready to sign up for his English class tomorrow. All of them. I'm going to figure out how to set each of these to play in my virtual house on a loop so in less than an hour one evening he's already made me smarter.
Back after several years. I quoted you to my husband, and he was completely in the dark about it.
I show this video to my students every semester and laugh each and every time. You would not believe some of the things students have turned in over the years that were unintentionally funny because they didn't bother to proofread. So please take his pisces of advice. ;)
Thank you Mr Barnes I didn't look this up because you said so
Oh dear God! That is so accurate, I should know. My mother often went through my papers alongside my father and when they were done it looked as if they had bled all over the paper. Good job Mr. Mali.
Damn! Even listing my brian wants to here it coercively rather than as is actuarially is; must be fear impassible to reform live.
i absolutely love Taylor Mali, he made me want to become a teacher. Now I'm applying to George Mason University to major in education and am working at Sylvan Learning Center. Thank you Taylor!
also this video is absolutely hysterical! My english teacher showed this to my class last week and we were all dying of laughter : )
Many years later and hopefully you're teaching 😂
@@jasminechibanda7889 I am not - until the US decides to treat teachers fairly, I and many others will not re-enter a classroom. This includes adequate compensation, preventing abuse from administration, and a safe work environment where we don't fear being gunned down by military-grade weapons.
This is one of my absolute favorites.
If you ever have the chance to see him live--GO! I got to see Taylor live at Portland Poetry Slam one night randomly. It was an amazing, hilarious, inspiring evening of poetry.
Good stuff. A word of warning. A friend showed this to a high school class in upstate NY and because he was probationary, was fired on the spot by a reactionary Superintendent. Another English teacher made
issue with the screening.
It's so clever but in fairness I wouldn't show it to a class. Too many questionable words in it for kids.
fatnessisrampant my professor showed this to us in class. It's so funny!
Taylor Mali - you make me want to throw my twin set and pearls on to the stage! You rock!
i like how my drama teacher showed this to our 7th grade class as an introduction to monologs.... thx Mr.King
laughed so hard all the way through. this is amazing :D
"I remember one time during my junior mint". Haha oh man, that one really got me.
Best thing ever, watch it over and over again and always makes me laugh.
This cracks me up. It must have been so hard to memorize!
As a medical transcriptionist, I toughly enjoined this pretension about proof breading. Simple replacement off won ward with an udder can be delerious to a patience heath.
This video was one of the best lessons in my English 098 class at Parkland Community College.
Simply brilliant. Not just the obvious double entendres, but all other 'plays-on-spelling' as well.
This could also be called "damn you autocorrect"
More like "my dictation program doesn't hear what I say." This goes beyond autocorrect.
This is hilarious. I'm an editor and I'm going to share this with all my friends. What a riot. Particularly loved line about how he wanted to get into a good colleague. Haha!
Wow, this guy's a genius.
how does he do this without cracking up? i would be curled up in a ball, giggling on the floor before the end of the second line!
This was an amazing poem. Education is absolutely key in every aspect. I'm a Haitian-American teaching English in South Korea...I thank education for that. That's definitely a side note though...
Lets praise Mr.Mali again for his work. Onelove!
English Torturer... Amen!
Truly genius poetry
each time I listen I find something new!
I haven't irl-lol'd in a long time, especially so hard I couldn't breathe! *clap clap clap* Thank you for posting.
I loved this! My college professor showed the class this today. The performance has made me appreciate poetry more than did before today.
While people could have been kinder, I think what they are trying to have you see is that students not checking their work are not conveying what they are meaning to say. This therefore changes the meaning and context of what they write. This is pure genius. He delivers the message so clearly not only in the words he chooses, but his actions as well. It makes everyone take a step back and think. Not many people can express themselves so creatively. Sorry you were too offended to see this.
Genius! I bow down to thee good sir.
I just saw this in English 101 today. This is on the brink of genius.
My My mind = blown !! this is incredible! I see why this guy has a million views! I had to listen to this twice because it was just that awesome!
I LOVE this! I can't stop watching this. He came to my school and he's amazing- really interesting person too.
Lol! My college Creative Writing teacher showed us this little bit of fun and another of Mali's shorts. It was awesome. It also had a lot to show for our current 'prospects'.
This? I must watch before grading undergraduate papers. Even though they make me cry.
Love it!
This is absolutely brilliant. I love it!
Oh my gosh, this is amazing.
You really can make innuendos outta anything...
wow. *grin* definitely gonna be reading my stuff aloud from now on...
His is how it sounds when your rad UA-cam commence out loud.
taylor mali came to my school today! he is great!
our teacher made us listen to this in class today...that's one funny poem.
This is is absolutely brilliance.
This was awesome even more needed today than ever!
I LOVE it! This poem was a perfect example of "The Importance of Proofreading"
For more hysterics ... watch this with the auto-captioning turned on.
Just met Taylor Mali at the poetry club!! He's a great guy and hilarious too
Billy Collins laughter makes me happy :)
bowery used to have page vs stage. billy must have been representing the page that night. what an epic pairing.
Comedy for English professors. Priceless!
This has so happened to me, it's fun to get together with other teachers and share some of the best word choices! I use some of them as examples in class.
idk how many times i watched this. IT'S SOO FUNNY!
"It was quite possibly one of the most humidifying experiences of my life being laughed at like that pubicly" haha! too funny!
I love this poem! We watched it today in English, and I cried from laughter! So funny!
"Challenged menstrually" I DIED, this was sooo god.
This never seizures to amaze me.
This is just amazing. BRAVO!
I saw this in my English class today and had to find it, so funny! lmho!
hahaha this made my day. i was looking for examples of preformers of poetry for my presentation... i think i found what i was looking for.
saw him last night. I love you, Taylor Mali!!
I love that he got a fist bump in the end. that's awesome.
I am officely showing this to my studious next channel I get!
on top of this guy being hilarious, i realized at the end that sitting next to him was billy collins, my favorite poet!
I totally glove thus buy!
lol my teacher showed me this, funny man.. we watch it here at Texas Tech all the time! for lectures lol.
He's a fab poet!!! I seen him in person....he's a fantastical writer and very romanticall...lol
My sophomore English teacher sent me here. AWESOME.
This has to be the best ever!!!!
I wish I could like this twice.
Brilliant...loved it.
I love this I watch it over and over
AHAHA WE WATCHED THIS DURING ENGLISH CLASS, I WAS LAUGHING AND ACTUALLY CRYING AT THIS HILARIOUS VIDEO!!
he's pretty much awesome
i love the the impotence of proofreading..
it is so classic... its brilliant
I was almost in tears hearing this! That's hilarious!
I'll never get sick of this one.
I saw this guy at The Prospect Theater Project and i have to say he is a really really funny guy i got him to sign my book :) I can't wait till i buy his cd and put it on my ipuuud
LOL! seriously, I'm actually laughing out loud
I'm terrible at proofreading and spelling which makes this even funnier
i want to know how he does this with a straight face. its hilarious! i love it!
Trooly egg salent my freind! Great fully I laff and njoy thiz.
My God, these CCs are going to break my brain. The captioners should proofread their stuff!
Saw this in English class today laughed like crezzy.
Very funny! I'm an English teacher and while I'm not offended by the poem, I am quite often offended by the absolute garbage I'm forced to read...Love this and I've seen nearly all of these. Oh, and ask my students, I apparently teach "Collage English"...
You teach me by teaching me to teach myself. This is and isn't a joke.