My Wife SLEPT With Her Friend Before We Made It Exclusive.

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  • Опубліковано 4 кві 2024
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 61

  • @maryking8834
    @maryking8834 2 місяці тому +80

    I think the worst part is her acting disgusted and judged by his feelings while requiring him to be completely supportive of her choices. Whether they were exclusive or not, the gaslighting jerk behavior is a huge red flag

  • @shadowboxer1
    @shadowboxer1 2 місяці тому +71

    If Suzanne had come clean from the beginning, I don't think OP would have gotten as involved with her as he has. There's an obvious violation of trust here, and it doesn't sound like this marriage isn't gonna last much longer. Plus, Josh is a total scumbag for doing what he did.

    • @QuokkaWaka
      @QuokkaWaka 2 місяці тому +9

      Well hey Josh could've figured they'd tell their partners, I'd ask his side of the story first. He's definitely suspicious tho

  • @kiraelizdeleon6643
    @kiraelizdeleon6643 2 місяці тому +89

    This story is.... y i k e s ! I find that so weird, you Sleep with a person after you made a commitment to your partner... it's so gross

  • @js8303
    @js8303 2 місяці тому +65

    These relationship stories get crazier and crazier…

  • @Darkstalker1012
    @Darkstalker1012 2 місяці тому +89

    What kind of foolishness- What do you do?! LEAVE HER, DUH!!! That’s what you do, we’re leaving toxicity in 2023

    • @terryfilkohazi2237
      @terryfilkohazi2237 2 місяці тому +3

      *2024

    • @Darkstalker1012
      @Darkstalker1012 2 місяці тому +13

      @@terryfilkohazi2237 No, I said what I said. There’s no need to correct me. We’re leaving bs in 2023. Not gonna deal with anyone’s nonsense in this year

    • @deadsetondreams1988
      @deadsetondreams1988 2 місяці тому +10

      @@terryfilkohazi2237 They were saying we are leaving it in the past as in this year 2024 we aren't going to allow it to happen anymore.

    • @Darkstalker1012
      @Darkstalker1012 2 місяці тому +2

      @@deadsetondreams1988Pretty sure they knew exactly what I meant, and was just looking for a reason to post a meaningless comment

    • @gred_and_forge
      @gred_and_forge 2 місяці тому +8

      He can’t leave right away at the moment tho, according to his edits the group came in a van, across the border, AND they’re deep in the mountains. He said transportation options are limited so it’s be a pain to try leaving, plus he’d been looking forward to the trip all year. Honestly tho, I do hope this guy separates from her as soon as they get back. She knew he was committed and solely focused on her from the start , but didn’t give him the courtesy of telling him that in her pov, not being an official couple or exclusive means she can and will f*ck whoever she wants. It would be bad enough if it was random guys, but to know it was a friend she’s still close to is pretty sh*tty not to tell him sooner. Plus, she knew this was a dealbreaker for him if she didn’t tell him in the beginning and that it would bother him since she didn’t want to tell him initially until he said he’d ask Josh himself.

  • @riel4553
    @riel4553 2 місяці тому +16

    ...So the guy is everybody's F buddy and went on a group trip were everyone has a partner Except him? Oof.

  • @gryffinclaw
    @gryffinclaw 2 місяці тому +24

    Even when she "came clean", he had to make her tell him the truth and she was getting annoyed at him for it. I dunno man, but it doesn't seem like she actually cares as much for him as he thought. If she actually cared for his feelings, AND I would add he's very much justified in wanting to know the truth and feeling his trust betrayed, then she would've felt guilty and remorseful for hurting him like that. She's just so apathetic and irritated and inconsiderate and so ... self-righteous in a "I'm-always-right-don't-care-for-what-you-think" way? If not for her reaction, I might've said that they can still make this work bit by bit. But you can't make a relationship work with someone who doesn't even hold that feelings, that consideration, for you. It takes two to work in a relationship.

  • @itsmeprincet25
    @itsmeprincet25 2 місяці тому +42

    If you said you love someone...That means you should be committed to that relationship...just because you don't have sex doesn't mean that the relationship is exclusive...And that doesn't give any reason to anyone to sleep with others until getting exclusive...WTH...If this is how you want to go...atleast inform your partner first...If you make the relationship mutually open...Like you can sleep with anyone you want and he can do the same until you people can be "exclusive"...Will she be okay with it if he did the same and is still hanging out with them after 4 years

  • @terryfilkohazi2237
    @terryfilkohazi2237 2 місяці тому +40

    First story, she should have told him because what if they weren't using condoms? Because you never know. And that Josh was sleeping with yet another woman.

    • @eboneebrown8568
      @eboneebrown8568 2 місяці тому +17

      We should clear this up… Not “another woman”. He was sleeping with 3 other women REGULARLY…possibly more, this is just the part we heard….Nasty.

    • @deadsetondreams1988
      @deadsetondreams1988 2 місяці тому +7

      Josh is on the move 🤣 He sounds like a shark looking for his next sleep score 😂

    • @BigSkinty91
      @BigSkinty91 2 місяці тому +9

      Possibly with the STD situation and everything

  • @riri_chuchu
    @riri_chuchu 2 місяці тому +35

    The first story is very common nowadays. But I'm a bit traditional and I want to be the first and last of my partner. Using someone else to find the one is just not it😔

    • @AnimatronicClover
      @AnimatronicClover 2 місяці тому

      I mean look at the large majority of people in other cultures that think monogamy is overrated and have big orgies even with married people.

  • @noorainbushra604
    @noorainbushra604 2 місяці тому +10

    ...I don't understand? What kind of stupidity these people came up with?? And why was she dancing around the actual story?? Clearly she was uncomfortable sharing it because she KNEW it was f'ed up to begin with and for her to look at him disgustingly as if HE slept with a girl while they were getting to know each other. Like common, There's more to it than this. As he said he had to dig to get the full story. I wonder how much more she was hiding. Dude, You gotta find some good one, not some " I like you and I want to get to know you but let me full fill my sexual desires with my friend, just for testing."

  • @mona-lisavanderwalt5223
    @mona-lisavanderwalt5223 2 місяці тому +16

    Josh is kind of like "Good Luck Chuck", but different😂

  • @lisahess1027
    @lisahess1027 2 місяці тому +11

    It's very difficult for me to wrap my head around today's relationships. I try not to judge, but I have always dated one person at a time and been loyal to them. I'm in my 50s, and I would really like to find love, but I want to have it happen organically, like being introduced by a mutual friend or meeting the person while being in choir or in church.

    • @Silencer796
      @Silencer796 2 місяці тому +1

      I don’t understand it and I feel ashamed at this generation…

    • @BrandonL_00
      @BrandonL_00 2 місяці тому +2

      I'm 24 and I feel the same way. Hookup culture, polygamy, friends with benefits, etc have been super popular for years (especially after the pandemic) and there's nothing wrong with people liking/wanting that, but it's not for me. I guess I was just raised traditionally too, only to be exclusive to whoever I'm dating.

  • @gred_and_forge
    @gred_and_forge 2 місяці тому +57

    OP’s edits and brief update (I hope he updates again with good news):
    EDIT: I'm very hung over but reading through all the comments. To clarify a few things: 1). Only one other woman who has slept with Josh (Rose) is on the trip. The other two couples were my friends first and don't know Josh well. Sorry to those telling me I should drop a huge bombshell at dinner. 2). The reason it's hard to leave is because we all drove over the border together in a van, and we are deep in the mountains - not a lot of transit options. If I decide to leave it will be a massive pain in the ass. 3). I don't have any reason to suspect an ongoing thing between Josh and my wife. I've never seen a hint of flirtation from either of them. Even when I walked in on them last night they seemed completely casual, like I would be with one of my guy friends. But I also never suspected she could compartmentalize her feelings the way she apparently did so I think I need to be open to all possibilities at this point.
    I'm going to go skiing this afternoon with just my buddy "Ryan" and see if he has any advice. And I will be abstaining from alcohol the rest of the trip as many suggested.
    UPDATE 4/1: Thanks everyone for the wide array of perspectives on this, you've given me a lot to consider that I would not have otherwise. I particularly appreciate hearing women's points of view on this - the consensus from them seems to be that the arrangement with Josh made strategic sense but that Suzanne should have disclosed things much earlier. I went skiing yesterday and today after deciding that I'm going to stay the rest of the trip - I've been looking forward to this all year and we might actually get some snow soon. I've been hanging with two of my good guy friends for the most part. Suzanne has asked if we can talk but I told her I'm not ready and I just want to focus on skiing. I'm pretty sure she's alerted Josh because he has been standoffish. Whatever.
    The feeling that is currently strongest is one of broken trust. Several commenters noted that the language Suzanne used made her technically within her rights to have the arrangement with Josh. The question in my mind that I keep asking is: If I had known about Josh from the get-go, what would have changed? I certainly don't think I would have continued the relationship for six months without pursuing other options at the same time. Suzanne knew that I was only pursuing her, she had all of my attention because I wanted to make something work for once. I also can't shake the feeling that our relationship would have developed more quickly if Josh had not been around. I spent some time last night looking at old texts and emails from our early days, about three months in. I started crying because I remembered just how smitten I was with her by then - I was really starting to see a future with her. But now I read her responses differently - what seemed like cute coy replies feel like apathy in retrospect. It robs a lot of the magic from my memories, and I just feel empty.
    I'm still not sure how I'm going to handle things, but I'm very seriously considering talking to Eric one on one before the trip ends to see what things look like from his experience. We're here until Thursday so there's time. Until then, I'm just going to ski my brains out and pray for snow.

    • @QuokkaWaka
      @QuokkaWaka 2 місяці тому +13

      Ohhhh this is really sad. At least the way he's going about it is healthy

    • @amateurflor13
      @amateurflor13 2 місяці тому +3

      this poor guy. i'm glad his friends are there for him. i hope he drops her, honestly. she doesn't even seem to trust him and now he definitely can't trust her. and she alr knew his history, knew he was only trying for her, kept talking ab wanting one guy, and then disclosed nothing and even got crass w/ him when he wanted answers.

    • @gred_and_forge
      @gred_and_forge 2 місяці тому +2

      @@amateurflor13 you can really tell how heart broken he is, I felt terrible for him when he said looking back at her old messages makes him feel empty bc a lot of the magic was gone from the memories. Definitely don’t think he can work it out with her if the start of their relationship was false, even if ‘it was in the past’ which I’m pretty sure she’ll try to make her main argument🙄

    • @gred_and_forge
      @gred_and_forge 2 місяці тому +4

      @@QuokkaWaka glad he’s stepping away from more drinking and at least spending (hopefully) the rest of the trip with his friends

    • @sashafarber617
      @sashafarber617 2 місяці тому +2

      ​@@gred_and_forgeI don't know about you, but I am absolutely disgusted that most women said that the arrangement she made with Josh made sense for the time. If you are dating ANYONE then you should be exclusive with them. If a person isn't exclusive with their daring partner then there is no guarantee that in a theoretical marriage the partner wouldn't cheat on you or sleep around with others in the instance they don't feel that their "needs" are being met.

  • @Litchinensis
    @Litchinensis 2 місяці тому +9

    Coco barking. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

  • @T_Cup
    @T_Cup 2 місяці тому +10

    Imo the issue isn't their past history. Everyone has a past. It's the fact that, in the present, his wife is keeping someone she was intimate with around her all the time without informing her husband of their past, to the point he's on holiday with them - and she's even okay with putting on lotion in front of him while wearing a towel...but only while her husband and his gf aren't around. Seems to me like she actually enjoys keeping this secret, which still feels like emotional cheating even if nothing physical has happened between them recently. And worse, when finally confronted, she still tried to continue hiding it, suggesting it is indeed a bigger deal than she's pretending it's not

  • @spookymoo5832
    @spookymoo5832 2 місяці тому +3

    Two thoughts on that last story: Did they keep up with STI checks? Because OP deserved to know to check for his own health way before the four year mark. Also if I was around my ex/FWB-ex four years after the last "time" I would not be that comfortable being in a towel. It's been four years, I don't know them like that anymore! Yeah, guy needs to run

  • @ichigoanime4593
    @ichigoanime4593 2 місяці тому +2

    I'm so confused as to why she was irritated when he wanted her to explain herself?? And even if they were casual, having a convo while she's creaming her body in a towel is crossing a boundary. She is married. You have to set boundaries like that when friends are opposite in gender in a situation where one or both are in a relationship with someone else. It's also weird she didnt clarify that she was going to sleep around when they weren't exclusive. In her statement to him, she only says it's okay for him to do. She should've explicitly said they could both sleep with others until they were exclusive. He clearly didn't realize the implication of what she said.

  • @msepiphqny
    @msepiphqny 2 місяці тому +2

    Yeah I've been in situationships and lemme tell you
    Saying oh yeah we've slept together before we were a REAL thing vs how defensive she's getting is big big red flag
    Something is definitely STILL going on between them and that was barely a situationship why was she doin that

  • @treebark8
    @treebark8 2 місяці тому +4

    Hey Ellen! You look great!

  • @sour.skittles
    @sour.skittles 2 місяці тому +2

    I love your videos :)))

  • @diamondarreguin7035
    @diamondarreguin7035 2 місяці тому +3

    Wow just wow

  • @masarapwaffles
    @masarapwaffles 2 місяці тому +5

    WOOOO!

    • @nalyajj
      @nalyajj 2 місяці тому +2

      WAAA!!

  • @premkumarirai7848
    @premkumarirai7848 2 місяці тому

    Josh is Boston

  • @Nikita-wj1ls
    @Nikita-wj1ls 2 місяці тому

    I mean, if you both agree to a open relationship or is open about you dating others then thats fine. But she should have told him bc otherwise is super shady and not ok for my part.

  • @WittyRoseKoi
    @WittyRoseKoi 2 місяці тому +4

    I love your videos Kyutie 😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎

  • @nalyajj
    @nalyajj 2 місяці тому +4

    ♡♡♡

  • @jaime01090
    @jaime01090 2 місяці тому +4

    hiiiii

  • @buck99
    @buck99 2 місяці тому +4

    HEY BEAUTIFUL
    ❤U

  • @akrunvoteylong
    @akrunvoteylong 2 місяці тому +2

    1 minute in

  • @TeacherTonya74
    @TeacherTonya74 2 місяці тому +1

    They are 30-something, not 20-something. She told him the truth up front about the situation, although not as clearly as she should. Yes, they should have been more clear on whether or not they were exclusive! But I do feel like she didn't think they were exclusive. She has been completely loyal since they were both exclusive. If the roles were switched, would it be different? How many men are off 'dating' a bunch of girls, not wanting to commit. Then the woman gets hurt because they do sleep together before they are exclusive, her thinking it will change him. If they had slept together, then he'd have a reason to nope out. They need to talk to a counselor. This can still work.

    • @sashafarber617
      @sashafarber617 2 місяці тому +1

      I don't know about you, but I am absolutely disgusted that most women said that the arrangement she made with Josh made sense for the time. If you are dating ANYONE then you should be exclusive with them. If a person isn't exclusive with their daring partner then there is no guarantee that in a theoretical marriage the partner wouldn't cheat on you or sleep around with others in the instance they don't feel that their "needs" are being met.

    • @Silencer796
      @Silencer796 2 місяці тому +1

      Please just stop, it is disgusting behaviour, this relationship is over for good and WILL NEVER BE OKAY

  • @Nicholaspimpinsohard
    @Nicholaspimpinsohard 2 місяці тому +4

    How are you doing sweetie? How are you feeling? I hope just great!! In the very first story, honestly he should just pack his things up and leave because she is just so disrespectful, and I don't believe that she even cares about him him at all, and she is a complete liar too, talking about she wanted to wait to be intimate, but the whole time she was completely getting down and dirty with Josh. She ain't no good at all. I would have packed up my things and just left the ski trip. Once I got back to the house that I shared with her I would have packed all of my clothes and other belongings and just left permanently, but before I moved I would've left my wedding ring on the dresser. I would have immediately filed for divorce too. Having something like that done to you is just so traumatizing and heart-breaking too. She just openly admitted to cheating on him, but she's just to make seem like it's all his fault though. Josh was just her cut buddy the whole time while the main protagonist was dating her. He married a piece of trash. I love you so much my friend!! Have a great day, Good night from me!! Stay safe!!

  • @WittyRoseKoi
    @WittyRoseKoi 2 місяці тому +5

    Shadow Boxer I’m I second 🫥🫥🫥🫥🫥🫥🫥🫥🫥🫥🫥🫥🫥