You guys are definetely confusing, you seem to be the definition of flirting and extremely sexy people who fuck a lot and then we discover that your horny side is more repressed than you would like because of fear of rejection!!!! Like how people would reject you and even LAUGH in front of your adorable faces!?!?!?! It's the most unfair crime I've ever heard. - An INFP who loves you uninconditionally, even without knowing you ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Message for ENFPs: remember guys, don't let ANYBODY to shut off your lights. Your lights and authentic selves are the most powerful source of joy and love that some humans and even the waves of the universe can notice and experience, believe me. Every time I see an ENFP my heart heals and my soul shines. You're deserve tons of love only by being who you are, by the sake of existing. Love you a lot, even if I don't know you 🌈✨🌌💚
“I can still be cool with you and be your friend” this is BEYOND TRUE,if I like someone,it doesn’t matter if I really really like them or just have a small crush on them I can walk up to them and just have a convo,well that’s obviously if I KNOW KNOW the person but yes,after I had just had a totally cool conversation with you I’ll go home and spin around my room listening to Taylor swift songs and daydreaming about you 😐
As an ENFP I really relate to this!! It's a relief to know I'm not the only one who struggles with being open about my crushes and romantic feelings...
"Assume her playing it cool is a defence mechanism" - thank you, that's precisely what I needed to hear to process things. As an INFJ, I can quickly fall into anxious paranoia about someone's playing it cool behaviour - and I shall most certainly take on board your advice to be make the first move and be explicit.
Hey from now on, You're my spokesperson. . For anyone who likes ENFP and suspects them liking you back. Just tell them straight, If you're 80% sure cuz' the chance is they really like you. and yes, they won't tell you first to protect their feeling and fear of rejection. AND THEY WON'T KNOW YOUR INTENTION IF YOU DON"T EXACTLY TOLD THEM. DON'T TRY TO TELL THEM BY YOUR ACTION EITHER BECAUSE YOUR SIMPLE ACTION ENFP COULD INTERPRET IT INTO MILLIONS MEANING IN THEIR HEAD.
Enfp talent for misdirection is epic. May not be up front about expression, but if you can't tell whether they like you, you aren't paying attention. Watch for all the behaviors of nurturing, personal gifts, and how much they ask you to verify because they trust your logic.
I completely relate to the freezing up. I can be so confident and teasing with my friends, but if I like you, I'm just going to be shy and awkward. It's even irritating to me, but I can't change it. The other point of overthinking everything they've ever said is extremely true. I will file away likes, dislikes, interests, and potential of liking me.
Oh my god yes, thank god I'm not alone in this. We're literally the same. The middle school "having people laugh at you for liking them" really messed me up too. "We feel that being vulnerable with someone is embarassing" hit hard. I've been really working on my thoughts around dating and realizing that people perceive me very differently. I told someone straight up that I liked them and while it hurt when they rejected me, it's helped me realize that the world will keep turning if I'm direct. I think I'm being so obvious with my emotions and no one can ever tell I like the guy I like. Anyway, I'm working on it but it doesn't help that I always fall for IN- types either so they're kind of worried about being direct too.
Use your crush love language in subtle way to get your crush. Enfp often have word of affirmation to shows love. Sadly, only enfj and estj that will appreciate that. Don't give up my fellow's enfp 💪
Thank you for making this! This is the first time I feel someone has touched upon the complexities concerning our Fi and how hard it can be to really be vulnerable around someone, especially when you like them and have been hurt before in your past. People assume we're always very bubbly and straightforward, but seem to forget we're protective of our feelings
Omg yes! (Sorry my english is bad) Im a female ENFP and I LOVE guys who are introverts and that likes meaningfull conversations ❤ I feel so connected with them. I have so many extroverted guys that hit me up but none of them win my heart. It is always the mysterious guy in the corner of the room that intrigued me. I love reading people soul but they are so hard to read which makes them so attractive❤ and once they open up to you, it is one of the best moment of my life ;)
I'm that guy, INFP, and my crushes are almost always ENFPs, like my ex girlfriend or my current love interest. Seems they also like the mysterious guy :D
I’ve never thought about NFPs as lacking situational awareness but that makes so much sense. Their Ne, though extroverted, is more about openness to ideas and generating new ideas than it is about their surroundings. And Fi filtering their experience based on emotions totally fits in. In the same way though, Fi can look into the past and “rewrite” experiences with new narratives. This was the first video of yours I’ve seen and I really enjoyed it! Thanks for sharing!
This is so accurate! It feels so good to hear another enfp explain our inner workings so eloquently. Yes I archive every emotion and feeling and analyze how I got to that feeling. And I take these patterns with me everywhere I go so if I feel those emotions again I can understand if the same triggers were involved. It is also so true that we are charismatic and charming but very reserved with our feelings. I think we all had the experience at a young age of sharing our feelings with people who didn't understand and feeling rejected and now we do everything not to feel rejected again. I was told by someone that I am very hard to read sometimes and I thought to myself..."good :)" but the general consensus from people is that I am friendly warm and open yet I still remain reserved. Its an art form lol
When you said, "your words matter more than your actions", it resonated with me. If someone told me they have are my friend/like me, I will wholeheartedly believe and trust them unless their actions prove otherwise because when I say it outright I mean it. I was burned as a kid so when it is romantic I struggle.
I would say I also pay more attention to words, though I find people are better at lying with words than with actions. Actions are much more culpable and tangible. Probably the reason we invest in words so much is that ENFPs tend to be good at expressing themselves over time and would naturally feel others would be so inclined to do the same. I spend more time now listening to voice tones and body language of people as a means of discerning truth in others. Body language is the hardest to cover up though I find it the hardest to accurately access at this time. Voice is the easiest for me to access. People reveal so much in their tone of voice and speech patterns. It is interesting to see the thoughts of the younger ENFPs as they come into self discovery. (ENFP)
Enfp here: I literally have the same dating experience as you. I was laughed at as a kid for saying at loud that I Iiked someone and then I basically never liked someone again haha
ur so adorable, ily from this INFJ. it's interesting observing Fi in action as you are talking about the self-consciousness that comes from being an ENFP. i feel like if yall tapped into your Fe, you'd be able to detect as to whether this person was interested in you or not.
I am quite oblivious to if people like me or not, especially a romantic liking. I do know some that have had some kind of desire about me rare and strange though that seems. I suspect partly the reason why I don't is when my feelings for someone come online its like the sun blocking out all the stars. Fi is the sun in this analogy.
Thanx for feedback x I feel there's some internal war when it comes to feelings. 'Should I tell them? Should I not? The signs they like me are there but nah...until they don't SPECIFICALLY spell it out to me & say it in words & thier body language & actions match, until then...keep wondering. If I tell them, I may hurt them if I change my mind & I don't want that either. DANG!!! Hmm...' this is MY internal process. Eeks
Although I am an INFJ, there are many things paid. I think I'm in love with a male ENFP, not a simple crush, I keep repeating myself. I have him as my classmate for this year, last year. At first I thought it was a repaid thing, that he was also falling in love with me (although I wonder what could attract someone like me?), I felt like a mental bond, it drugged my head. But after a while I felt that he had closed the doors: that it is the ability to hide one's feelings as you say? Or bored? At first I could exchange a few words with him, but now everything seems different and impossible. I tried to speak following the flow, trying to be as much of myself as possible and giving voice to my thoughts that I often lock in my head, with the aim of not creating discussions and trying not to be hurt if someone was so much against my thought. It worked at first, until like a brave INFJ I am, to make the situation develop, I asked a friend of his if I had any chance with him and information such as: "Is he currently dating someone else?" or "Did he talk about me?" or "Could I interest him according to you?", but he did not answer. I left it alone... ... The friend told the ENFP everything. And at that moment on, the contact that was between us had broken or, at least, so I felt. That he is hiding? Or is he simply not interested in me? I can no longer talk to him I give him some signs, I'm embarrassed. So I convinced myself to declare myself. The point is that, unlike ENFPs, I "read" you based on your actions. Thank you very much Crystal Duan for this video, I do not have the faintest idea that I can like this ENFP, because contrary to what you said, we can not communicate verbally. But the glances and more are there, silent. At least I understood better that the only thing I can do is express myself. PS: We INFJ often try not to show our feelings! But to get closer to the prey. And at the same time, I at least, fall in love only and only with the same type of person
@@vijayapatwa3262 No, towards the end of the summer I wanted to be honest with my feelings and tell him face to face what I felt and how fascinated I was by him. But I let myself be influenced by my friends and I did it only via text, obviously ruining everything. Of course I still think a lot about him, I look insane. The last time I saw him he hid to avoid being noticed by me (unsuccessfully). I would say that I pushed him away well. I still hope in a day where I will speak to him before his eyes about everything
INTP here and uhhh.... I have this crush on an ENFP and I need advice. We've rarely talked with each (I'm an outcast, he's the class clown, so I never considered initiating contact with him) until today, which is when we had a free 45 minute class - teacher told us to do anything. I actually kind of sensed he'll talk to me today and he did. We talked for at least 25 minutes, maybe 30 and that was the best conversation I've had in a while. It went about this way: he comes up to my desk and starts talking, he's funny as always, talks about his hobbies, I offer him a seat, I try complementing him; he then takes my pencilcase and takes everything out, then puts it back together carefully; he's flirty... as always, then talks more about his interests and he's smiling almost all the time. Unfortunately a friend of his came and took him away, saying he's drunk and red on his face (he wasn't drunk btw). From that point on, I can't stop thinking about this conversation. Now I'm scared he'll read this comment lmao Sorry for spelling/grammar mistakes, English isn't my native language. Any advice would be nice! Have a good day! Edit: K, if you find this, tell me plz
enfp here. i think it's kinda early to tell if he likes you in a romantic way but he is DEFINITELY interested in getting to know you and for you to get to know him. i say, take the initiative next time and see where it goes. good luck bestie!
omg another intp here At first we were forced to become friends then somehow(?????) we became besties and now I'm crushing on him This comment reminds me of last year when we were soooo awkward and he randomly told me he dozed off on a zoom call and his friend sent him a screenshot saying that he looked drunk
I really like the way you express your idea, very kind and understanding. This video is very, *very* helpful for my situation with my ENFP crush. Your description really reminds me of him. Right now, I want to be friend first with him (I love him greatly).
INTP HERE. I love an enfp . she has been my friend since years. and i still hold my feelings intact. just here to appreciate how awesome of enfps to feel this 'its easy for them to express in thousands of ways that i like you instead of saying the concrete thing'i like you' which is easier for most.
Never felt more seen in my life, especially the parts about the archive of emotional experiences and constant self-protection. Thanks for the insightful video!
So INTJ here, I've been texting this girl, and trying to start conversation, but although she responds to the questions and seems really enjoy talking (using like 4 exclamation points when excited and stuff), she hasn't really asked any questions without me initiating it. This is really confusing for me, cuz I'm really trying to put myself out there and be kind and open with her, but I can't tell if she's interested or not lmao Last time this happened with a different type, I spent 3 years analyzing the situation, then ended up missing my chance and figuring out that she REALLY liked me the whole time rip
I think I had a huge boost of confidence from being right about the first crush I ever had at the age of 18 hehe. Ever since then I feel like I've been ok with being the first to say I like someone and I've usually been right. Trust your intuition!! But I'm pretty sly about it. Whether its trying to make a friend or trying to make a bf i kind of make it a game to charm people I'm interested in lolol. I'm pretty excitable and interested in people anyhow and I think that's charming to people. So I'll ask them a bunch of questions about themselves, making sure I listen well, ill also talk about things that might make me look impressive to them, try to make them laugh, etc. And as I'm finding out more about them I'll look for social cues that they like me back. And if they show signs that they do ill invite them to hang one on one but I'll make it seem like I only want to friendship hang until I have more data (also because of fear of rejection). Usually I'm throwing out these subtle cues that i like them and they grow in intensity if they reciprocate. Then if all goes well eventually the evidence becomes overwhelming and I step on the gas and tell them. I might come off as confusing because if I suspect they suspect I like them before I'm ready to tell them I'll back off a bit to throw them off. That also comes from a fear of being rejected lol. If I'm not getting a reciprocation of the subtle cues I throw out I forget about it and back out : p. I know you've said you're a 4 but have you looked into the self preservation 2 on the enneagram? Description by Beatrice Chestnut? That's what I am and you remind me of a female version of myself hehe.
Omg!! Even though I'm an over 60 enfp, this torture is still true for me when I love someone! You explained it so perfectly! Yet I wonder if the other types can comprehend the confusion of it?
I just found out at 46yo I'm an ENFP. I feel like I lost out on receiving this direct info as I've navigated my life literally telling people, "Don't mind my mind, it has its own intentions and I just go with it." I never approach to show interest and have countless times ended up kissing folk I only registered as friends. I learned to just go with it. Sucks now because I always question whether I'm truly admired, wanted, or loved...even when there are tangible evidence of the possibility. I seriously have a blurred perspective of friendship vs love interest. Great Video!
INTJ here. The primary thing of value you have to give in a relationship, is the knowledge that you chose them first. That you recognized them as more valuable to you than anyone else. It's also what we give to our friends. By giving more to people you don't like, you are basically devaluing what you have to offer the people you do like. This might be intentional.. It's classic avoidance attachment, devaluing what you offer them so they can't "take" anything of value. Like a hyena vomiting on a fresh kill, there is nothing left of value to "steal". It could be why you get rejected by the guys you are interested in. If you put them in a second place position, it's highly possible they would see a relationship (as a second place choice) as completely worthless. When this happens to me (and it has before, with ENFPs), I don't hold it against them. I continue to vibe with them as I always did. But I won't date them now, ever. Because it wouldn't matter if she crushed on me for 10 years, I would always be her second choice. She would be better off with someone she just met, so she could them first.
her second choice in the Se? I guess "devaluing what you offer them so they can't "take" anything of value" makes sense to what is happening though. ofc I would argue that the reality isn't really intentional, but maybe the other person without Ne will still feel burned. even if what you're saying is objectively true, until I have the confidence to believe what I have to offer is even of value even conceptually, it won't really stick to me.
@@CrystalDuan95 It's not objective truth that guides these interactions anyway. It's just about personal choices, with personal impact. They are likely to choose someone who likes someone like them. So if they see that your "type" is completely opposite from them, they are likely to write you off. BTW: Either everyone has objective value, or no one does. Since that value has to be independent of observers, we are basically assuming a value to human life "just because". The premise of objective value is the only thing that keeps us caring for others. Because if it was only about subjective value, then there would be no valid reason not to be completely selfish. So yes, you do have value. Or no one does, and we're all just using each other. It's not something we can prove; it's just a choice of outlook.
This is 1 year ago, but I'd like to correct you on a few things. I'm an ENFP female in my 30s for context. My behaviour is seen as flirty, BUT it comes from a place if good will. There is too little kindness in the world and I simply like being kind and warm towards people. That being said, there is a HUGE difference between that and me in a relationship. I never made a partner feel unloved ( I only had a few, right now 8 years and going ) on the contrary. Most ENFPs are eager to please their partners and make them feel special. If you thought what you witnessed is special treatment already, then you missed out. If you ever date one of us, be prepared. I have a few friends who are also ENFP and one thing our partners told all of us: that they never had a relationship as intense before. I have been told I drive him crazy ( in a good way ) and I take it as a compliment. If he feels so warm as if a sun is shining inside of him and he gets happy and bubbly ( he is ISFJ ) and a bit crazy, then I've done it right ;-) He says I make him feel alive. So in short: you missed out! Because you thought what you saw with your friends is us in a relationship. On the other hand, not sure our intense emotions are something for you. They aren't good for everyone.
@@danika9411 The standard disclaimer of "ENFPs flirt a lot, and it's often misinterpreted as affection" is misplaced in this case. INTJs will give you the exact opposite problem. They will ignore any apparent interest by default. They will certainly ignore flirting. And if you actually were interested, it wouldn't get better either. They will even ignore overt hints that you are trying to give. And go on to ignore directly stated interest as well. At least until they can think about it. It's super-simple. If she is attracted to the norm, she won't be attracted to me. And if she later turns her attention to me, I already know she is just exploring, and in reality I am not right for her. No one is missing out. She isn't good for me. I am not good for her. No one loses. It is extremely arrogant for anyone to believe that those who don't date them are missing out, as if they are the only shining sun on the dark earth. In reality, interest is subjective. The shining sun for one person, is boring for another person. (In a moment of honesty I feel like I should also state the vast amount of contempt I have for normal interactions. And I would definitely judge someone who found them tolerable. Anyone who can listen to an empty-headed guy prattle on about the weather in even a 3 month relationship, is not going to be right for me. But In general I've found ENFPs to be very creative thinkers who appreciate divergent thought and are bored with mundane interactions, so this usually doesn't apply to them).
My ENFP friend is easily turned off by every guy who approaches her, because it's too easy for her, she's so charismatic, pretty, charming, you name it. But when she sees a chill guy, dont talk too much, stoic, who focuses on himself and seems like he doesnt care about his surrounding, it's game on, her ex is exactly like that. She's still single now because there's no challange, when she's attracted to someone she doesnt need the guy to make the first move, she'll go for it, and if the guy responds by moving his proximity to her too fast, he lost, the key is to let my friend (the ENFP) moves her proximity.
Enfps are at one side amazing, but from my expierence nervous when i talk to them about feelings. Its makes me nervous too. Thats why i stay away feom them. And me as an introvert its difficult for me to let them know i like them. Because im mysterious people said. But it makes me sad i cant show them the love i have for them. Because i want them to explore me not the otherway around. Ive tried to do it, but the only thing i get is a person Who gets nervous and want to quit the conversation. I think iam doing somsthing wrong.
Thank you for sharing your experience with us. I relate to your personal insights so much. However, I differ from you from being a serial dater ENFP. I often lose myself and my identity in romantic relationships because I am so neurotic that my authentic self is too much.
Yesssss! Yes, and yes! I used to literally strip off my personality and become whatever I thought the other person wanted. It's so unhealthy because after doing this for like 7 years, I had no clue who I was and I was deeply unhappy at the end of it. I went on a man cleanse and focused on finding myself. 1 year later, my match found me, my sweet hubby who is an INFP and he allows me to be the literal child I am. I love it!
So spot on, sad and fun at the same time. We are like trapped in ourself 🙄 and really need someone steady and honest. You talk as much as me 😊 lol.. We sound confident..but are scared..
agghh this guy i've been talking to online who is enfp said 3 times im in his head and thinks about me a lot and im not sure if it was just typical enfp flirty friendly aughhhhh HELPpppppp
Only point I disagreed with is priorities. Girls says she wants to keep the relationship are a friendship early on, but imo gives signs of attraction and continues to entertain my calls or texts or invitations, then well I think she likes me. That goes with what you said about ENFPs being good about modifying perceptions.
Oh wow. Yep. I did manage to marry my biggest crush after 7 years of crushing. He passed away a 13 years ago (our daughter is nearly 19). I have a new crush (only nearly a year 🙄) and I tooooatlly do this. I am nearly 50, so, um yeah, it doesn't go away. Lol. Great explanation, I always wondered why I was such a spazz around men.
Wow i think that's interesting!! I don't know if its the difference between NI-SE and NE-SI axis but i think we INFJs are the opposite we pick up on actions and we even mame connect those actions to previous patterns that has nothing to do with the situation so our problem is that we can be super delusional but confidant about it , we think we know for sure who does and doesn't like us , we will never care what you say if my Ni is telling me that the way you left your head is indicationg of your love towards me 😂😂 so it's interesting that for Enfps it's more about what you say because for us it's never about what you say ... Actually recently i have gotten better at calming down my Ni and not believing every defenitive conclusion my brain cames up with but it's also a daily struggle so i always need to remind myself to coperate some Ne spirit in my life to be balenced .
A few days ago, I got cold feet w/ my crush before our date because he called and (imo) sounded apprehensive so I cancelled the date and told him it was best if we not see each other. although I really really like him, as you mentioned, I fear getting rejected so would rather step away before there’s potential for me to get hurt. I wish he was straightforward then I’d feel confident but because he was more passive and didn’t say much before our first date other than things that sounded apprehensive I had to pass. He messaged and apologized and continues to hope we can hang out but I feel it’s too far gone now lol
4:30- i am so guilty of this. I have left places and have a friend tell me "hey that cute girl? She was totally flirting with you." Then I am all like "no. Not possible." Then 10 minutes later "sonofabitch!"
Me an INFJ male: I have to initiate!!! For years now I know an ENFP girl has had a cush on me and I also have had a cush on her for years too. We are good friends, but I nervous to make a move. Is there hope?
Im an enfp does others make memories out of every feeling that i felt and seeing items from the past that i used to use like a school textbook it makes me so sad throwing them away and makes me wonder "what happens if i did this or that" also i like everyone haha when i actually LIKE someone i will ask them question and befriend them and i also get obsesseddd my crush i will be flirty and literally be direct and i HATE HATE the fact that everyone treats me like im a little sibling i dont get how they wont get it we hugged we held hands and a kiss on the cheek (on some) and they dont get it ✌️👁👄👁✌️
Wow, now I understand how I can just cut people off who have hurt me in the past while others just forgive and continue to let it happen to them...or how I always seem to be so happy and just full of peace from traumatic situations because I know exactly what impact a given situation will have on my emotions and I just won't allow myself to be in the situation that may result in emotional pain. Go me! Protecting yourself! I am very afraid of rejection too...still... after having a greater sense of who I am. I just feel devastated when I think about being rejected.
We Don’t feel safe in romantic relationships. I saw a video that said we were flirts and I’m like, no, no and no. We have fun and like to laugh. That may be seen by others as flirting but that’s not what we are thinking, necessarily. When I super like a guy, I’m quiet usually .. cuz I’m ThinkIng 🤔 hard. It’s Not Not due to “attachment” issues. Lots of people are sociopaths, psychopaths and narcissism - lots of Very Good reasons Not to get attached.
I thought mine hated me and I’m colder than him as ENTP, so he felt rejected. I got confused bc he could avoid me for days but then I get to get his voice message with his shakey voice and I started reassuring him, he’s the sweetest now like ever, crushing hard 😢😍🥰
Enfp here. I cannot relate much to that. I think it is more anchored in your past negative experience. You have to overcome that avoidance strategy you learned subconsciously. If I’m interested in someone I make sure she will notice that message.
Hey! Nice video. I’ve been looking into attachment styles and found out the reason I keep backing out of relationships is because I have an “avoidant” attachment style. Some of the things you said sounded pretty familiar, I would suggest looking that up and seeing if it applies to you. It might help you out a bit!
Cool! Glad you’ve heard of it. It can be a rough time, I know haha but, as my therapist said today, don’t forget thinking patterns can and have been rewritten! Sometimes our little baby selves might not have been given everything they needed at the time, that’s all. Thanks for replying
I am enfp- me and my crush reconnected 4 months ago. We talk and hang out m9re than me and my best friend. (At least 2-3 times a month) usually he asks me to hang out, were like going 1 on 1 with me till i asked not to-- and when we're not hanging out he calls me for like 3 hrs, at least once a week. Because of this for a while I thought he liked me BUT---- he's normally extraverted AND--he told me a month ago he just got rejected by the girl he liked for 2 years (sad) and they talk to me bout his girl problems (a new girl who's interested in him) so I'm here thinking he's not interested in me-- I'm confused.
So to sum up, me (an INFP guy) have to say that I like her (my ENFP crush) first? Because I'm struggling with it for like almost a year and actually I am still unable to do this. Or maybe there is a timeline where she is telling me this first?
I'm an Intp and I'm here watching almost 10 videos now wondering if an enfp likes me... I mean all signs point that way... but really? He likes me? I'm literally just a random quiet kid.
please help me... im intp he said he is ENFP he kept flirting with me and saying certain things about me and my personality is cute, he wanted to go on a "friend date" with me but its technically just called friends hanging out, he carres for more and worry about me because my parents are not very good but when i ask him if he's okay he acts like he has no problems with anything going on at home i don't know if he's just lying by not acknolodging his problems or if he has perfect parents that i wish to have.. He seems like imagining imaginative person about me... Enfps... does he like me? He also said i love you to me. Ive never once heard a friend, or a family member, my parents or a. best friend say that to me
I’m and ENFP guy. If he is an ENFP and he said I love you, that means he cares about you deeply. That “friend date” comment was him trying to push the date part, not the friend part. The fact that combining the two even came to his mind says a lot tbh. Now if in response to this you kinda just awkwardly laugh or don’t give the same energy back, then he probably just thinks you’re not interested or it made you uncomfortable. His lack of discussing vulnerable things with you might be because he thinks you want to “pay him back” for all the help he does to you, but that you don’t actually want to hear about his problems. Similar to the girl in the video, and ENFP guy has probably experienced situations like that often, and it shuts us down to opening up about anything. Just from my assessment, he seems to really like you and probably for awhile. The only things that could be holding him back is 1. He thinks Maybe you don’t like him 2. There’s some practical concerns or emotional confusions he has that he doesn’t know how to talk to you about without making it obvious that he likes you and putting himself in emotional danger Shoot your shot, and like the video said, shoot it clearly and like you mean it. Don’t back out of the feelings, if he looks flustered. It’s probably because of point 2. Instead, ask him “do you want some time to think about it?” An ex did that for me and it was really helpful because I liked her but I totally didn’t expect her to want to date for real. I needed some time to process and reinterpret our relationship. If she waited for a response or backed out from her feelings, I probably would have just said something really stupid or start making some really off assumptions in a panic.
Please I need your advice, I have an enfp friend am an infj, so she asked me to be her boyfriend I accepted we dated for about a week but then she asked for a break up saying that she doesn't have feelings for me and that she feels guilty that she'll hurt me, but she's been acting weird like video calls early in the morning, randomly sending me pictures of how her day is going and telling me she misses me. So I really don't know what to do I need your advice
ENFP s can be moody, means their mood can change quickly. So in ur case she wants to get back to you again, OBVIOUSLY! So just go for it and take her back!
Give her space too. She needs alone time & feel too much emotionally when spending too much time together. She needs her independence too. Let her feel free to be her n she'll come back ren-energised more after spending time alone most likely in nature
I liked girls since I was like... in 2nd grade or some shit. Maybe earlier. Maybe since I was 5 or 6. The thought of rejection and the amount of anticipation and anxiety in me was fucking wild and became super overbearing.
I (INFJ) was wondering if I was reaching by thinking an ENFP guy likes me; I told him that I felt like I was talking too much and he told me "I love hearing you talk." What do you guys think? 😅
INTJ here. Hooking up before you've even had a romantic relationship - or even outside of one - is not healthy or rational. Sex is inherently intimate, especially for women. That's just science. Not judging, but this may contribute to your low self-esteem. Having guys want your body and nothing else will feed your inability to see your self-worth. This creates a mindset that no matter what, no one will want you for more.
i think im a different genre of ENFP where im the complete opposite of this 😭 to be fair , no matter the type , i think it would be healthier to .. not do some of these things or heal the underlying cause of it cause it isnt essentially or exactly fair to the other person to try & read between these types of lines .. i would lose patience .
Hi, I'm an INFP who loves an ENFP. OMG I can understand this behaviour but at the same time confuses me because as you said you seem to be really cool and charming and you're supposed to "get all the boys you want". This video is like a revelation for me. I love him so much that I can't express with words. We're good friends. He's so damn curious and adorable and interesting and cute and sexy hdajsjskaksjsnaz I can't handle it. I already wrote some poems lol. However, I also have this fear of rejection, but it's not as intense, like I can deal with it. With this video I confirmed that I have to tell him. Thank you ❤️😭
So you are telling me that the fact she is looking a excuse to come to my home city is a sign that she likes me? Good now I'm gonna buy her the kind of clothes she taught me to buy her and send it to her address she gave me. Should I receive her with the local dessert we have in my homecity she want me to show her? She also cares a lot when I post something related of how bad I'm feeling and me dealing with depression and being down. As an ENTP myself I am always the one sending memes, asking random ideas, telling her funny stories I made out or wishing her luck. She never says anything when I say to her how much I like her or how much I care for her, she just ignore what I said and start telling me about her day or what is planning or which friend she is chatting. My analist friends don't have a clue so I ask here.
My biggest step to telling my crush I liked them was giving them a paper flower. And this may sound weird but I made paper flowers for my whole class so it didn’t seem like something else😭😭😭
So I’m extremely confused, my ENFP crush doesn’t really make plans with me, but usually invites me to stuff (including other people ofc) so I’m always the one who invites her, so I’m not sure if her not making plans with me is a sign that she doesn’t like me, but maybe I’m just overthinking it? I’m think they like the idea of us hanging out alone though. Anyway, number two, I keep thinking that she just treats me like any other of her friends. I also always ask them multiple times if they like anyone at the moment and they straightforwardly say no (keep in mind, this is between text). They dont really ask questions about me, it’s more like I ask them a question and they respond with “wbu?” I guess I remember one time we held eye contact for 10+ seconds but im not sure if that meant anything to them. I also gave them a birthday card (where I compliment them, which isn’t common because we have a love hate relationship) They told me it was super cute and kind of held their arms out like they wanted to hug me? Usually their not the type of person to touch people a lot so that’s SUPER confusing. Im 60% sure she doesn’t like me and it’s hard because I’m an introvert and it’s hard to confess first haha
I think I also have to add that I’m a really close friend of hers (even though we met like 4 months ago) I’m extremely comfortable with them and their comfortable with me. It’s just sometimes when I text them, usually they text back slowly? Not like an hour apart but like a few minutes. They’re an ENFP so obviously they have a LOT of friends. I guess sometimes I don’t feel as important to them as much as their important to me? I get attached super easily (ISFJ here) while they’re scared of commitment. They said that there has been a lot of friends that have confessed to them so I’m scared to confess just to be one of those handful of friends that liked her. She also doesn’t seem to have much of a reaction when I say I have a crush (keep in mind this is in text) Usually it’s the opposite and she says she wants to be my wingman lmao. In their defense I also do that to them, so should I be more straightforward with them or is it just not worth it? She’s also super dense and clueless, I remember talking about my crush to her (the crush WAS her) but anyways I sneaked in a few lies so it wasn’t obvious but now watching this video, it seems like that was a mistake 😓
You have to give it to us straight because we won’t actually give it to you straight 😂😂😂 Amen! I’ve rarely been in a relationship where I made the first move, regardless of the interest someone is showing me, as I can’t tell if that’s how they treat everyone. Also, I default to imagining that their interest is friendship based, not romantic. 😅 But when they are transparent about their romantic attraction, and it’s mutual, I can become like a puppy dog.
I know you're not a man, but what do you think a male ENFP can do to get past this fear? This wasn't meant to sound sexist or something, but waiting for other people to say they like me feels almost like a pipe dream. It's like a societal norm for men to make the first move and for the reasons you explained very nicely, I feel nigh unable to do this. I know it's not impossible; I've done it before. Shoot, I've even had a girlfriend at one point, but being back in the dating game makes me feel hopess because I still constantly fear rejection. I can't tell if a single person likes me enough to date or hookup.
Hey bro I'm an ENFP as well. This isn't advice for just enfp's but for all men. You shouldn't be out here chasing relationships. You should be working towards becoming a greater man a KING. There's 3 other parts to develop along with that. called the warrior, magician and lover. to develop your king you must make sure to always produce more than you consume. your warrior is taking care of your self it's your defender. Learn some martial arts. Work out eat right. Magician is the part where you have to read. Go try new things. Make wise financial moves. Make sure your life is in order. Pay your taxes etc. lastly you develop your lover. This is where all the passion is. Work on things your passionate about your dreams, art etc. also spend time doing things you love. For me it's working out and reading. another tenet for being a man is that you must always be esteeming yourself. All get better everyday. Once you do all these things along with building up your pillars of self love you will not have any fear and you will have people coming up and being very direct with you. The most blunt types that I deal with are the INTJ's and ENFJ's
“We overreact to everything... internally”
*smiles sweetly*
Yes!
Yes!
HELP I HEARD TJIS EXACT BIT AS I READ UR COMMENT ITS FATE
💘
ENFP here trying to find out how confusing I am to my crush lmao
Me too ✋
Me too
You guys are definetely confusing, you seem to be the definition of flirting and extremely sexy people who fuck a lot and then we discover that your horny side is more repressed than you would like because of fear of rejection!!!! Like how people would reject you and even LAUGH in front of your adorable faces!?!?!?! It's the most unfair crime I've ever heard.
- An INFP who loves you uninconditionally, even without knowing you ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Message for ENFPs: remember guys, don't let ANYBODY to shut off your lights. Your lights and authentic selves are the most powerful source of joy and love that some humans and even the waves of the universe can notice and experience, believe me. Every time I see an ENFP my heart heals and my soul shines. You're deserve tons of love only by being who you are, by the sake of existing. Love you a lot, even if I don't know you 🌈✨🌌💚
Hell!!! U knew 😂😂❤
ENFP here. Just checking and confirming my confusing self in advance (don't have a crush yet, lol)
"We never realise how good we are at hiding our feelings until it's too late"
Ooof, that's so relatable it hurts
“I can still be cool with you and be your friend” this is BEYOND TRUE,if I like someone,it doesn’t matter if I really really like them or just have a small crush on them I can walk up to them and just have a convo,well that’s obviously if I KNOW KNOW the person but yes,after I had just had a totally cool conversation with you I’ll go home and spin around my room listening to Taylor swift songs and daydreaming about you 😐
As an ENFP I really relate to this!! It's a relief to know I'm not the only one who struggles with being open about my crushes and romantic feelings...
Is it because we crush on many and can't choose and then don't want to hurt any of them just in case we change our mind? Hmm...I wonder
No cause that's TOTALLY how I act and think like I found my people here cause none of my friends understand why I never make a move
"Assume her playing it cool is a defence mechanism" - thank you, that's precisely what I needed to hear to process things. As an INFJ, I can quickly fall into anxious paranoia about someone's playing it cool behaviour - and I shall most certainly take on board your advice to be make the first move and be explicit.
Hey from now on, You're my spokesperson.
.
For anyone who likes ENFP and suspects them liking you back.
Just tell them straight, If you're 80% sure cuz' the chance is they really like you.
and yes, they won't tell you first to protect their feeling and fear of rejection.
AND THEY WON'T KNOW YOUR INTENTION IF YOU DON"T EXACTLY TOLD THEM.
DON'T TRY TO TELL THEM BY YOUR ACTION EITHER BECAUSE YOUR SIMPLE ACTION ENFP COULD INTERPRET IT INTO MILLIONS MEANING IN THEIR HEAD.
So we'll spoken!
Amen
Yes, please tell us.
Enfp talent for misdirection is epic. May not be up front about expression, but if you can't tell whether they like you, you aren't paying attention. Watch for all the behaviors of nurturing, personal gifts, and how much they ask you to verify because they trust your logic.
I completely relate to the freezing up. I can be so confident and teasing with my friends, but if I like you, I'm just going to be shy and awkward. It's even irritating to me, but I can't change it.
The other point of overthinking everything they've ever said is extremely true. I will file away likes, dislikes, interests, and potential of liking me.
Oh my god yes, thank god I'm not alone in this. We're literally the same. The middle school "having people laugh at you for liking them" really messed me up too. "We feel that being vulnerable with someone is embarassing" hit hard. I've been really working on my thoughts around dating and realizing that people perceive me very differently. I told someone straight up that I liked them and while it hurt when they rejected me, it's helped me realize that the world will keep turning if I'm direct. I think I'm being so obvious with my emotions and no one can ever tell I like the guy I like. Anyway, I'm working on it but it doesn't help that I always fall for IN- types either so they're kind of worried about being direct too.
INTJ or the INFJ or INFP or INTP? Hmm...whose you're favorite?
Use your crush love language in subtle way to get your crush. Enfp often have word of affirmation to shows love. Sadly, only enfj and estj that will appreciate that. Don't give up my fellow's enfp 💪
Thank you for making this!
This is the first time I feel someone has touched upon the complexities concerning our Fi and how hard it can be to really be vulnerable around someone, especially when you like them and have been hurt before in your past. People assume we're always very bubbly and straightforward, but seem to forget we're protective of our feelings
Omg yes! (Sorry my english is bad) Im a female ENFP and I LOVE guys who are introverts and that likes meaningfull conversations ❤ I feel so connected with them. I have so many extroverted guys that hit me up but none of them win my heart. It is always the mysterious guy in the corner of the room that intrigued me. I love reading people soul but they are so hard to read which makes them so attractive❤ and once they open up to you, it is one of the best moment of my life ;)
I'm that guy, INFP, and my crushes are almost always ENFPs, like my ex girlfriend or my current love interest. Seems they also like the mysterious guy :D
I’ve never thought about NFPs as lacking situational awareness but that makes so much sense. Their Ne, though extroverted, is more about openness to ideas and generating new ideas than it is about their surroundings. And Fi filtering their experience based on emotions totally fits in. In the same way though, Fi can look into the past and “rewrite” experiences with new narratives. This was the first video of yours I’ve seen and I really enjoyed it! Thanks for sharing!
Search up Se blindspot, you're welcome
ENFJ male here in a long distance relationship with a ENFP female.
Gonna keep this channel bookmarked.
Great video, keep up the good work! :)
This is so accurate! It feels so good to hear another enfp explain our inner workings so eloquently. Yes I archive every emotion and feeling and analyze how I got to that feeling. And I take these patterns with me everywhere I go so if I feel those emotions again I can understand if the same triggers were involved. It is also so true that we are charismatic and charming but very reserved with our feelings. I think we all had the experience at a young age of sharing our feelings with people who didn't understand and feeling rejected and now we do everything not to feel rejected again. I was told by someone that I am very hard to read sometimes and I thought to myself..."good :)" but the general consensus from people is that I am friendly warm and open yet I still remain reserved. Its an art form lol
When you said, "your words matter more than your actions", it resonated with me. If someone told me they have are my friend/like me, I will wholeheartedly believe and trust them unless their actions prove otherwise because when I say it outright I mean it. I was burned as a kid so when it is romantic I struggle.
I would say I also pay more attention to words, though I find people are better at lying with words than with actions. Actions are much more culpable and tangible. Probably the reason we invest in words so much is that ENFPs tend to be good at expressing themselves over time and would naturally feel others would be so inclined to do the same.
I spend more time now listening to voice tones and body language of people as a means of discerning truth in others. Body language is the hardest to cover up though I find it the hardest to accurately access at this time. Voice is the easiest for me to access. People reveal so much in their tone of voice and speech patterns.
It is interesting to see the thoughts of the younger ENFPs as they come into self discovery.
(ENFP)
Enfp here: I literally have the same dating experience as you. I was laughed at as a kid for saying at loud that I Iiked someone and then I basically never liked someone again haha
😅😅😅
THIS HAPPENED TO ME IN 6TH GRADE. HAVENT REALLY HAD A CRUSH SINCE LOL -ENFP (I’m 22 now…*cries*)
how could an infj tell first, this is making it way hard lol
i knowww T_T
ur so adorable, ily from this INFJ. it's interesting observing Fi in action as you are talking about the self-consciousness that comes from being an ENFP. i feel like if yall tapped into your Fe, you'd be able to detect as to whether this person was interested in you or not.
I am quite oblivious to if people like me or not, especially a romantic liking. I do know some that have had some kind of desire about me rare and strange though that seems. I suspect partly the reason why I don't is when my feelings for someone come online its like the sun blocking out all the stars. Fi is the sun in this analogy.
But we have Fi, not Fe.
Thanx for feedback x I feel there's some internal war when it comes to feelings. 'Should I tell them? Should I not? The signs they like me are there but nah...until they don't SPECIFICALLY spell it out to me & say it in words & thier body language & actions match, until then...keep wondering. If I tell them, I may hurt them if I change my mind & I don't want that either. DANG!!! Hmm...' this is MY internal process. Eeks
Although I am an INFJ, there are many things paid. I think I'm in love with a male ENFP, not a simple crush, I keep repeating myself. I have him as my classmate for this year, last year.
At first I thought it was a repaid thing, that he was also falling in love with me (although I wonder what could attract someone like me?), I felt like a mental bond, it drugged my head. But after a while I felt that he had closed the doors: that it is the ability to hide one's feelings as you say? Or bored? At first I could exchange a few words with him, but now everything seems different and impossible. I tried to speak following the flow, trying to be as much of myself as possible and giving voice to my thoughts that I often lock in my head, with the aim of not creating discussions and trying not to be hurt if someone was so much against my thought. It worked at first, until like a brave INFJ I am, to make the situation develop, I asked a friend of his if I had any chance with him and information such as: "Is he currently dating someone else?" or "Did he talk about me?" or "Could I interest him according to you?", but he did not answer. I left it alone...
... The friend told the ENFP everything. And at that moment on, the contact that was between us had broken or, at least, so I felt. That he is hiding? Or is he simply not interested in me? I can no longer talk to him I give him some signs, I'm embarrassed.
So I convinced myself to declare myself. The point is that, unlike ENFPs, I "read" you based on your actions.
Thank you very much Crystal Duan for this video, I do not have the faintest idea that I can like this ENFP, because contrary to what you said, we can not communicate verbally. But the glances and more are there, silent. At least I understood better that the only thing I can do is express myself.
PS: We INFJ often try not to show our feelings! But to get closer to the prey. And at the same time, I at least, fall in love only and only with the same type of person
@@vijayapatwa3262 No, towards the end of the summer I wanted to be honest with my feelings and tell him face to face what I felt and how fascinated I was by him. But I let myself be influenced by my friends and I did it only via text, obviously ruining everything. Of course I still think a lot about him, I look insane. The last time I saw him he hid to avoid being noticed by me (unsuccessfully). I would say that I pushed him away well. I still hope in a day where I will speak to him before his eyes about everything
Hey bruh I hope you still alive and tell me updated about you guys
When I saw this in my recommended, the first thing I thought was “Yes, please help me”
INTP here and uhhh.... I have this crush on an ENFP and I need advice. We've rarely talked with each (I'm an outcast, he's the class clown, so I never considered initiating contact with him) until today, which is when we had a free 45 minute class - teacher told us to do anything. I actually kind of sensed he'll talk to me today and he did. We talked for at least 25 minutes, maybe 30 and that was the best conversation I've had in a while. It went about this way: he comes up to my desk and starts talking, he's funny as always, talks about his hobbies, I offer him a seat, I try complementing him; he then takes my pencilcase and takes everything out, then puts it back together carefully; he's flirty... as always, then talks more about his interests and he's smiling almost all the time. Unfortunately a friend of his came and took him away, saying he's drunk and red on his face (he wasn't drunk btw). From that point on, I can't stop thinking about this conversation.
Now I'm scared he'll read this comment lmao
Sorry for spelling/grammar mistakes, English isn't my native language.
Any advice would be nice! Have a good day!
Edit: K, if you find this, tell me plz
enfp here. i think it's kinda early to tell if he likes you in a romantic way but he is DEFINITELY interested in getting to know you and for you to get to know him. i say, take the initiative next time and see where it goes. good luck bestie!
@@lismarg99 thanks :D
omg another intp here
At first we were forced to become friends then somehow(?????) we became besties and now I'm crushing on him
This comment reminds me of last year when we were soooo awkward and he randomly told me he dozed off on a zoom call and his friend sent him a screenshot saying that he looked drunk
As fellow enfp, this ia so true~ 98% on point compare to myself.
I feel like you’re in my brain spilling out all my darkest secrets lmao omg
ENFJ chiming in here. YOU ROCK!!!!
you now: "Wow i can't believe i evah thought i was an ENFP" ;) HAHAHAH
you have no idea how much of a help this is. thank you!
C 60 I’m so happy to hear that!!!
I really like the way you express your idea, very kind and understanding. This video is very, *very* helpful for my situation with my ENFP crush. Your description really reminds me of him. Right now, I want to be friend first with him (I love him greatly).
INTP HERE. I love an enfp . she has been my friend since years. and i still hold my feelings intact. just here to appreciate how awesome of enfps to feel this 'its easy for them to express in thousands of ways that i like you instead of saying the concrete thing'i like you' which is easier for most.
Honestly, i think this video was extremely helpful to ENFP'S ...
Never felt more seen in my life, especially the parts about the archive of emotional experiences and constant self-protection. Thanks for the insightful video!
crys u are so fucking brilliant and courageous for sharing your truth and so cute in this vid EVERYONE THIS IS MY BEST FRIEND (!!!!!)
So INTJ here, I've been texting this girl, and trying to start conversation, but although she responds to the questions and seems really enjoy talking (using like 4 exclamation points when excited and stuff), she hasn't really asked any questions without me initiating it.
This is really confusing for me, cuz I'm really trying to put myself out there and be kind and open with her, but I can't tell if she's interested or not lmao
Last time this happened with a different type, I spent 3 years analyzing the situation, then ended up missing my chance and figuring out that she REALLY liked me the whole time rip
Thanks for sharing the mind of an ENFP.
Also good interview on Pucokie channel, so I was able to find your channel that way.
I think I had a huge boost of confidence from being right about the first crush I ever had at the age of 18 hehe. Ever since then I feel like I've been ok with being the first to say I like someone and I've usually been right. Trust your intuition!! But I'm pretty sly about it. Whether its trying to make a friend or trying to make a bf i kind of make it a game to charm people I'm interested in lolol. I'm pretty excitable and interested in people anyhow and I think that's charming to people. So I'll ask them a bunch of questions about themselves, making sure I listen well, ill also talk about things that might make me look impressive to them, try to make them laugh, etc. And as I'm finding out more about them I'll look for social cues that they like me back. And if they show signs that they do ill invite them to hang one on one but I'll make it seem like I only want to friendship hang until I have more data (also because of fear of rejection). Usually I'm throwing out these subtle cues that i like them and they grow in intensity if they reciprocate. Then if all goes well eventually the evidence becomes overwhelming and I step on the gas and tell them. I might come off as confusing because if I suspect they suspect I like them before I'm ready to tell them I'll back off a bit to throw them off. That also comes from a fear of being rejected lol. If I'm not getting a reciprocation of the subtle cues I throw out I forget about it and back out : p.
I know you've said you're a 4 but have you looked into the self preservation 2 on the enneagram? Description by Beatrice Chestnut? That's what I am and you remind me of a female version of myself hehe.
I found this super relatable. I'm pretty sure I'm an ENFP, and this is exactly how I act.
Find yourself a healthy balanced INTJ and you will be set. Seriously, one of the best pairings for ENFP is INTJ for dating/romantic compatibility.
My experience with INTJs is they are not comfortable with emotions. ENFPs require a lot of emotional availability with others.
@@silentgrove7670 That's why he said "a healthy balanced INTJ" or maybe a mature INTJ
Omg!! Even though I'm an over 60 enfp, this torture is still true for me when I love someone! You explained it so perfectly! Yet I wonder if the other types can comprehend the confusion of it?
No dear.... the other types having their own insecurities donot comprehend this!!
@@krishashah7032 Thanks for that.
This was a great video for me understanding myself as an ENFP and for my bestie and her ENFP crush 😍 great job!
Thank you so much for this video as infj this helps me so much understand my crush 🙏🏽
Did you get with your crush?
I just found out at 46yo I'm an ENFP. I feel like I lost out on receiving this direct info as I've navigated my life literally telling people, "Don't mind my mind, it has its own intentions and I just go with it."
I never approach to show interest and have countless times ended up kissing folk I only registered as friends. I learned to just go with it. Sucks now because I always question whether I'm truly admired, wanted, or loved...even when there are tangible evidence of the possibility. I seriously have a blurred perspective of friendship vs love interest. Great Video!
INTJ here. The primary thing of value you have to give in a relationship, is the knowledge that you chose them first. That you recognized them as more valuable to you than anyone else. It's also what we give to our friends.
By giving more to people you don't like, you are basically devaluing what you have to offer the people you do like. This might be intentional.. It's classic avoidance attachment, devaluing what you offer them so they can't "take" anything of value. Like a hyena vomiting on a fresh kill, there is nothing left of value to "steal".
It could be why you get rejected by the guys you are interested in. If you put them in a second place position, it's highly possible they would see a relationship (as a second place choice) as completely worthless.
When this happens to me (and it has before, with ENFPs), I don't hold it against them. I continue to vibe with them as I always did. But I won't date them now, ever. Because it wouldn't matter if she crushed on me for 10 years, I would always be her second choice. She would be better off with someone she just met, so she could them first.
her second choice in the Se? I guess "devaluing what you offer them so they can't "take" anything of value" makes sense to what is happening though. ofc I would argue that the reality isn't really intentional, but maybe the other person without Ne will still feel burned. even if what you're saying is objectively true, until I have the confidence to believe what I have to offer is even of value even conceptually, it won't really stick to me.
Wow! Thank you, this has been very insightful (ENFP)
@@CrystalDuan95 It's not objective truth that guides these interactions anyway. It's just about personal choices, with personal impact. They are likely to choose someone who likes someone like them. So if they see that your "type" is completely opposite from them, they are likely to write you off.
BTW: Either everyone has objective value, or no one does. Since that value has to be independent of observers, we are basically assuming a value to human life "just because". The premise of objective value is the only thing that keeps us caring for others. Because if it was only about subjective value, then there would be no valid reason not to be completely selfish. So yes, you do have value. Or no one does, and we're all just using each other. It's not something we can prove; it's just a choice of outlook.
This is 1 year ago, but I'd like to correct you on a few things. I'm an ENFP female in my 30s for context. My behaviour is seen as flirty, BUT it comes from a place if good will. There is too little kindness in the world and I simply like being kind and warm towards people. That being said, there is a HUGE difference between that and me in a relationship.
I never made a partner feel unloved ( I only had a few, right now 8 years and going ) on the contrary. Most ENFPs are eager to please their partners and make them feel special. If you thought what you witnessed is special treatment already, then you missed out. If you ever date one of us, be prepared. I have a few friends who are also ENFP and one thing our partners told all of us: that they never had a relationship as intense before. I have been told I drive him crazy ( in a good way ) and I take it as a compliment. If he feels so warm as if a sun is shining inside of him and he gets happy and bubbly ( he is ISFJ ) and a bit crazy, then I've done it right ;-) He says I make him feel alive.
So in short: you missed out! Because you thought what you saw with your friends is us in a relationship. On the other hand, not sure our intense emotions are something for you. They aren't good for everyone.
@@danika9411 The standard disclaimer of "ENFPs flirt a lot, and it's often misinterpreted as affection" is misplaced in this case. INTJs will give you the exact opposite problem. They will ignore any apparent interest by default. They will certainly ignore flirting. And if you actually were interested, it wouldn't get better either. They will even ignore overt hints that you are trying to give. And go on to ignore directly stated interest as well. At least until they can think about it.
It's super-simple. If she is attracted to the norm, she won't be attracted to me. And if she later turns her attention to me, I already know she is just exploring, and in reality I am not right for her.
No one is missing out. She isn't good for me. I am not good for her. No one loses. It is extremely arrogant for anyone to believe that those who don't date them are missing out, as if they are the only shining sun on the dark earth. In reality, interest is subjective. The shining sun for one person, is boring for another person.
(In a moment of honesty I feel like I should also state the vast amount of contempt I have for normal interactions. And I would definitely judge someone who found them tolerable. Anyone who can listen to an empty-headed guy prattle on about the weather in even a 3 month relationship, is not going to be right for me. But In general I've found ENFPs to be very creative thinkers who appreciate divergent thought and are bored with mundane interactions, so this usually doesn't apply to them).
Damn, why this gotta be so true. Fellow ENFP.
Ahhh so glad you're making your own videos about this! Love it!
My ENFP friend is easily turned off by every guy who approaches her, because it's too easy for her, she's so charismatic, pretty, charming, you name it. But when she sees a chill guy, dont talk too much, stoic, who focuses on himself and seems like he doesnt care about his surrounding, it's game on, her ex is exactly like that. She's still single now because there's no challange, when she's attracted to someone she doesnt need the guy to make the first move, she'll go for it, and if the guy responds by moving his proximity to her too fast, he lost, the key is to let my friend (the ENFP) moves her proximity.
that's kind sad tho
Exactly!
Enfps are at one side amazing, but from my expierence nervous when i talk to them about feelings. Its makes me nervous too. Thats why i stay away feom them. And me as an introvert its difficult for me to let them know i like them. Because im mysterious people said. But it makes me sad i cant show them the love i have for them. Because i want them to explore me not the otherway around. Ive tried to do it, but the only thing i get is a person Who gets nervous and want to quit the conversation. I think iam doing somsthing wrong.
I love how many time stamp topic markers there are in this video😂😂
Thank you for sharing your experience with us. I relate to your personal insights so much. However, I differ from you from being a serial dater ENFP. I often lose myself and my identity in romantic relationships because I am so neurotic that my authentic self is too much.
Yesssss! Yes, and yes! I used to literally strip off my personality and become whatever I thought the other person wanted. It's so unhealthy because after doing this for like 7 years, I had no clue who I was and I was deeply unhappy at the end of it. I went on a man cleanse and focused on finding myself. 1 year later, my match found me, my sweet hubby who is an INFP and he allows me to be the literal child I am. I love it!
You’re so cute! I’m an ENFP and this is so real.
Thank you so much ❤i needed this so badly. I confuse myself 😢nothing makes sense 😭 you explained it so well this is me 💯
As an EnFP WHY DID YOU CALL ME OUT LIKE THAT??!! Yeahhhhh--- 😅
So spot on, sad and fun at the same time. We are like trapped in ourself 🙄 and really need someone steady and honest. You talk as much as me 😊 lol..
We sound confident..but are scared..
agghh this guy i've been talking to online who is enfp said 3 times im in his head and thinks about me a lot and im not sure if it was just typical enfp flirty friendly aughhhhh HELPpppppp
Only point I disagreed with is priorities. Girls says she wants to keep the relationship are a friendship early on, but imo gives signs of attraction and continues to entertain my calls or texts or invitations, then well I think she likes me. That goes with what you said about ENFPs being good about modifying perceptions.
I am an ENFP and I relate SO strongly.
Oh wow. Yep. I did manage to marry my biggest crush after 7 years of crushing. He passed away a 13 years ago (our daughter is nearly 19). I have a new crush (only nearly a year 🙄) and I tooooatlly do this. I am nearly 50, so, um yeah, it doesn't go away. Lol. Great explanation, I always wondered why I was such a spazz around men.
Wow i think that's interesting!!
I don't know if its the difference between NI-SE and NE-SI axis but i think we INFJs are the opposite we pick up on actions and we even mame connect those actions to previous patterns that has nothing to do with the situation so our problem is that we can be super delusional but confidant about it , we think we know for sure who does and doesn't like us , we will never care what you say if my Ni is telling me that the way you left your head is indicationg of your love towards me 😂😂 so it's interesting that for Enfps it's more about what you say because for us it's never about what you say ...
Actually recently i have gotten better at calming down my Ni and not believing every defenitive conclusion my brain cames up with but it's also a daily struggle so i always need to remind myself to coperate some Ne spirit in my life to be balenced .
A few days ago, I got cold feet w/ my crush before our date because he called and (imo) sounded apprehensive so I cancelled the date and told him it was best if we not see each other. although I really really like him, as you mentioned, I fear getting rejected so would rather step away before there’s potential for me to get hurt. I wish he was straightforward then I’d feel confident but because he was more passive and didn’t say much before our first date other than things that sounded apprehensive I had to pass.
He messaged and apologized and continues to hope we can hang out but I feel it’s too far gone now lol
4:30- i am so guilty of this. I have left places and have a friend tell me "hey that cute girl? She was totally flirting with you."
Then I am all like "no. Not possible." Then 10 minutes later "sonofabitch!"
I'm late my ex gf was ENFP . I'm ESTJ and our relationship was full of chaos.
Me an INFJ male:
I have to initiate!!!
For years now I know an ENFP girl has had a cush on me and I also have had a cush on her for years too. We are good friends, but I nervous to make a move. Is there hope?
Yes there is hope.
Im an enfp does others make memories out of every feeling that i felt and seeing items from the past that i used to use like a school textbook it makes me so sad throwing them away and makes me wonder "what happens if i did this or that" also i like everyone haha when i actually LIKE someone i will ask them question and befriend them and i also get obsesseddd my crush i will be flirty and literally be direct and i HATE HATE the fact that everyone treats me like im a little sibling i dont get how they wont get it we hugged we held hands and a kiss on the cheek (on some) and they dont get it ✌️👁👄👁✌️
Wow, now I understand how I can just cut people off who have hurt me in the past while others just forgive and continue to let it happen to them...or how I always seem to be so happy and just full of peace from traumatic situations because I know exactly what impact a given situation will have on my emotions and I just won't allow myself to be in the situation that may result in emotional pain. Go me! Protecting yourself!
I am very afraid of rejection too...still... after having a greater sense of who I am. I just feel devastated when I think about being rejected.
Does this apply also if the ENFP is a 40 years old man?
We Don’t feel safe in romantic relationships. I saw a video that said we were flirts and I’m like, no, no and no. We have fun and like to laugh. That may be seen by others as flirting but that’s not what we are thinking, necessarily. When I super like a guy, I’m quiet usually .. cuz I’m ThinkIng 🤔 hard.
It’s Not Not due to “attachment” issues. Lots of people are sociopaths, psychopaths and narcissism - lots of Very Good reasons Not to get attached.
I thought mine hated me and I’m colder than him as ENTP, so he felt rejected. I got confused bc he could avoid me for days but then I get to get his voice message with his shakey voice and I started reassuring him, he’s the sweetest now like ever, crushing hard 😢😍🥰
Enfp here. I cannot relate much to that. I think it is more anchored in your past negative experience. You have to overcome that avoidance strategy you learned subconsciously. If I’m interested in someone I make sure she will notice that message.
Hey! Nice video. I’ve been looking into attachment styles and found out the reason I keep backing out of relationships is because I have an “avoidant” attachment style. Some of the things you said sounded pretty familiar, I would suggest looking that up and seeing if it applies to you. It might help you out a bit!
I’ve looked into that and I def resonate w it!
Cool! Glad you’ve heard of it. It can be a rough time, I know haha but, as my therapist said today, don’t forget thinking patterns can and have been rewritten! Sometimes our little baby selves might not have been given everything they needed at the time, that’s all.
Thanks for replying
I am enfp- me and my crush reconnected 4 months ago. We talk and hang out m9re than me and my best friend. (At least 2-3 times a month) usually he asks me to hang out, were like going 1 on 1 with me till i asked not to-- and when we're not hanging out he calls me for like 3 hrs, at least once a week. Because of this for a while I thought he liked me BUT---- he's normally extraverted AND--he told me a month ago he just got rejected by the girl he liked for 2 years (sad) and they talk to me bout his girl problems (a new girl who's interested in him) so I'm here thinking he's not interested in me-- I'm confused.
Wow I can't believe how similar our experiences are
So to sum up, me (an INFP guy) have to say that I like her (my ENFP crush) first? Because I'm struggling with it for like almost a year and actually I am still unable to do this. Or maybe there is a timeline where she is telling me this first?
I'm an Intp and I'm here watching almost 10 videos now wondering if an enfp likes me...
I mean all signs point that way... but really? He likes me? I'm literally just a random quiet kid.
please help me... im intp he said he is ENFP he kept flirting with me and saying certain things about me and my personality is cute, he wanted to go on a "friend date" with me but its technically just called friends hanging out, he carres for more and worry about me because my parents are not very good but when i ask him if he's okay he acts like he has no problems with anything going on at home i don't know if he's just lying by not acknolodging his problems or if he has perfect parents that i wish to have.. He seems like imagining imaginative person about me... Enfps... does he like me? He also said i love you to me. Ive never once heard a friend, or a family member, my parents or a. best friend say that to me
I’m and ENFP guy. If he is an ENFP and he said I love you, that means he cares about you deeply. That “friend date” comment was him trying to push the date part, not the friend part. The fact that combining the two even came to his mind says a lot tbh.
Now if in response to this you kinda just awkwardly laugh or don’t give the same energy back, then he probably just thinks you’re not interested or it made you uncomfortable. His lack of discussing vulnerable things with you might be because he thinks you want to “pay him back” for all the help he does to you, but that you don’t actually want to hear about his problems. Similar to the girl in the video, and ENFP guy has probably experienced situations like that often, and it shuts us down to opening up about anything.
Just from my assessment, he seems to really like you and probably for awhile. The only things that could be holding him back is
1. He thinks Maybe you don’t like him
2. There’s some practical concerns or emotional confusions he has that he doesn’t know how to talk to you about without making it obvious that he likes you and putting himself in emotional danger
Shoot your shot, and like the video said, shoot it clearly and like you mean it. Don’t back out of the feelings, if he looks flustered. It’s probably because of point 2. Instead, ask him “do you want some time to think about it?” An ex did that for me and it was really helpful because I liked her but I totally didn’t expect her to want to date for real. I needed some time to process and reinterpret our relationship. If she waited for a response or backed out from her feelings, I probably would have just said something really stupid or start making some really off assumptions in a panic.
well done Crystal, knocked this one out - Hard agree with yo points!~
Please I need your advice, I have an enfp friend am an infj, so she asked me to be her boyfriend I accepted we dated for about a week but then she asked for a break up saying that she doesn't have feelings for me and that she feels guilty that she'll hurt me, but she's been acting weird like video calls early in the morning, randomly sending me pictures of how her day is going and telling me she misses me. So I really don't know what to do I need your advice
ENFP s can be moody, means their mood can change quickly. So in ur case she wants to get back to you again, OBVIOUSLY! So just go for it and take her back!
Give her space too. She needs alone time & feel too much emotionally when spending too much time together. She needs her independence too. Let her feel free to be her n she'll come back ren-energised more after spending time alone most likely in nature
Hmm ENFP - I tell every crush I like them. Hahaha right away.
OMG WHY IS THIS ME 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
I liked girls since I was like... in 2nd grade or some shit. Maybe earlier. Maybe since I was 5 or 6. The thought of rejection and the amount of anticipation and anxiety in me was fucking wild and became super overbearing.
I (INFJ) was wondering if I was reaching by thinking an ENFP guy likes me; I told him that I felt like I was talking too much and he told me "I love hearing you talk." What do you guys think? 😅
Wtf. I recognize every single word you say
INFJ here trying to understand my confusing ENFP crush. A lot of things correlated and I am left wondering. .-.
So damn true omg. totally relatable
We don't make plans. We go woth flow or it's just last min spontaneous
Purely theoretical for me. I don't believe I have a crush from any of the 16 types!
Literally the same, it sucks.
INTJ here trying to understand my ENFP partner. -.-
The title is the proof you're an ENFP
INTJ here. Hooking up before you've even had a romantic relationship - or even outside of one - is not healthy or rational. Sex is inherently intimate, especially for women. That's just science. Not judging, but this may contribute to your low self-esteem. Having guys want your body and nothing else will feed your inability to see your self-worth. This creates a mindset that no matter what, no one will want you for more.
i think im a different genre of ENFP where im the complete opposite of this 😭 to be fair , no matter the type , i think it would be healthier to .. not do some of these things or heal the underlying cause of it cause it isnt essentially or exactly fair to the other person to try & read between these types of lines .. i would lose patience .
me watching this to understand myself lmfao
Hi, I'm an INFP who loves an ENFP. OMG I can understand this behaviour but at the same time confuses me because as you said you seem to be really cool and charming and you're supposed to "get all the boys you want". This video is like a revelation for me. I love him so much that I can't express with words. We're good friends. He's so damn curious and adorable and interesting and cute and sexy hdajsjskaksjsnaz I can't handle it. I already wrote some poems lol. However, I also have this fear of rejection, but it's not as intense, like I can deal with it. With this video I confirmed that I have to tell him. Thank you ❤️😭
As an ENFP, i am cheering for you!!!
So you are telling me that the fact she is looking a excuse to come to my home city is a sign that she likes me?
Good now I'm gonna buy her the kind of clothes she taught me to buy her and send it to her address she gave me. Should I receive her with the local dessert we have in my homecity she want me to show her?
She also cares a lot when I post something related of how bad I'm feeling and me dealing with depression and being down.
As an ENTP myself I am always the one sending memes, asking random ideas, telling her funny stories I made out or wishing her luck. She never says anything when I say to her how much I like her or how much I care for her, she just ignore what I said and start telling me about her day or what is planning or which friend she is chatting.
My analist friends don't have a clue so I ask here.
My biggest step to telling my crush I liked them was giving them a paper flower. And this may sound weird but I made paper flowers for my whole class so it didn’t seem like something else😭😭😭
This was helpful. Thanks for sharing 👍🏽👍🏽
ENFP’s over tracy to everything internally & Externally 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
So I’m extremely confused, my ENFP crush doesn’t really make plans with me, but usually invites me to stuff (including other people ofc) so I’m always the one who invites her, so I’m not sure if her not making plans with me is a sign that she doesn’t like me, but maybe I’m just overthinking it? I’m think they like the idea of us hanging out alone though. Anyway, number two, I keep thinking that she just treats me like any other of her friends. I also always ask them multiple times if they like anyone at the moment and they straightforwardly say no (keep in mind, this is between text). They dont really ask questions about me, it’s more like I ask them a question and they respond with “wbu?” I guess I remember one time we held eye contact for 10+ seconds but im not sure if that meant anything to them. I also gave them a birthday card (where I compliment them, which isn’t common because we have a love hate relationship) They told me it was super cute and kind of held their arms out like they wanted to hug me? Usually their not the type of person to touch people a lot so that’s SUPER confusing. Im 60% sure she doesn’t like me and it’s hard because I’m an introvert and it’s hard to confess first haha
I think I also have to add that I’m a really close friend of hers (even though we met like 4 months ago) I’m extremely comfortable with them and their comfortable with me. It’s just sometimes when I text them, usually they text back slowly? Not like an hour apart but like a few minutes. They’re an ENFP so obviously they have a LOT of friends. I guess sometimes I don’t feel as important to them as much as their important to me? I get attached super easily (ISFJ here) while they’re scared of commitment. They said that there has been a lot of friends that have confessed to them so I’m scared to confess just to be one of those handful of friends that liked her. She also doesn’t seem to have much of a reaction when I say I have a crush (keep in mind this is in text) Usually it’s the opposite and she says she wants to be my wingman lmao. In their defense I also do that to them, so should I be more straightforward with them or is it just not worth it? She’s also super dense and clueless, I remember talking about my crush to her (the crush WAS her) but anyways I sneaked in a few lies so it wasn’t obvious but now watching this video, it seems like that was a mistake 😓
You have to give it to us straight because we won’t actually give it to you straight 😂😂😂 Amen! I’ve rarely been in a relationship where I made the first move, regardless of the interest someone is showing me, as I can’t tell if that’s how they treat everyone. Also, I default to imagining that their interest is friendship based, not romantic. 😅 But when they are transparent about their romantic attraction, and it’s mutual, I can become like a puppy dog.
I know you're not a man, but what do you think a male ENFP can do to get past this fear? This wasn't meant to sound sexist or something, but waiting for other people to say they like me feels almost like a pipe dream. It's like a societal norm for men to make the first move and for the reasons you explained very nicely, I feel nigh unable to do this. I know it's not impossible; I've done it before. Shoot, I've even had a girlfriend at one point, but being back in the dating game makes me feel hopess because I still constantly fear rejection. I can't tell if a single person likes me enough to date or hookup.
Hey bro I'm an ENFP as well.
This isn't advice for just enfp's but for all men. You shouldn't be out here chasing relationships. You should be working towards becoming a greater man a KING. There's 3 other parts to develop along with that. called the warrior, magician and lover.
to develop your king you must make sure to always produce more than you consume.
your warrior is taking care of your self it's your defender. Learn some martial arts. Work out eat right.
Magician is the part where you have to read. Go try new things. Make wise financial moves. Make sure your life is in order. Pay your taxes etc.
lastly you develop your lover. This is where all the passion is. Work on things your passionate about your dreams, art etc. also spend time doing things you love. For me it's working out and reading.
another tenet for being a man is that you must always be esteeming yourself. All get better everyday.
Once you do all these things along with building up your pillars of self love you will not have any fear and you will have people coming up and being very direct with you.
The most blunt types that I deal with are the INTJ's and ENFJ's
@@aaronalvarez9954 wow, I appreciate the advice. I've actually been doing some of these things so that's pretty good
@@joshuawoodfolk8202 great job man keep it up
@@aaronalvarez9954 thanks man!
Im ENFP and i tell everybody i love them haha
I feel bad for my crush tho ;-;
because i think he used to like me but like i kinda scared him away