What is the Fearful Avoidant Attachment Style & How Does It Affect Your Love Life
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- Опубліковано 1 чер 2024
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In today's video, Thais Gibson goes back to basics with each of the attachment styles. Today the focus is on the fearful avoidant attachment style (disorganized attachment style). Watch now to learn about the key characteristics of this insecure attachment style as Thais provides useful tips and guidance.
To learn more, explore the transformative course, "Healthy and Passionate Relationships after Emotional Pain", for powerful tools you can begin using immediately on your journey!
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00:00:00 - Intro
00:01:29 - What Is the Fearful Avoidant Attachment Style
00:02:25 - Alcoholic Mother Example
00:03:24 - Hypervigilance
00:03:53 - Fearful Avoidants As Adults
00:04:55 - 14-Day Free Trial
00:05:45 - Conclusion
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🎯❤️🥂 As a recovering FA, thank you for providing hope, guidance and a path back to secure attachment with PDS. Understanding needs, healthy boundary setting, emotional self regulation has been life changing and it's still early days.So much more to learn and apply. Noticable improvements in communications and understanding within the important relationships in my life. #Respect #Love #Gratitude
I’ve been learning about my FA attachment for a while and working on it. The reason it’s disorganized is because the FA isn’t always there. It gets triggered in relationships. When it’s not there the person wants the relationships just like the secure or anxious type. But the FA is telling the person that they can’t trust others etc. and so it causes them to push others away at times also. The FA sabotages relationships essentially..
Can hardly ever being attracted to people be related to attachment issues? Or is being demisexual/ace-flux a separate thing?
I really want to be in a romantic relationship but hardly ever feel romantic or sexual attraction to anyone, and when I do it's usually more like limerence and almost always for people I perceive as unavailable. Is that a symptom of avoidant or fearful avoidant attachment? Can it be fixed?
Yes. You’re not emotionally available
I think being demisexual is somewhat common. Do you feel attraction after an intellectual connection, which opens up the way to the next step? On the other hand, I've heard that FAs are often attracted to unavailable people.
And yes, it can fixed.
I have the same issues, just a handful of people. I've felt real physical attraction to and usually after the emotional bond starts. I have FA in my life who comes back and runs away, I am attracted to her, but she usually runs before real intimacy can take hold.
@@GeoffreyAngapa I very occasionally do, but I'm not even sure if demisexual is the right word because mostly it's just extremely rare for me to be interested romantically/sexually in anyone in real life at all regardless of how well I know them :/ I try to go on dates and meet new people and in the past I've tried to just go along with it and hope attraction develops but I just end up dissociating. It's really confusing because I WANT to want people.
@@SeastarValerian Thanks for sharing. I think each person is different in the level or manner of attraction that we feel. If you are all right with that, that's all that matters, but I see that you say you'd like to feel attraction. Well, I don't know the answer, but feeling love is a side effect of someone satisfying something in us that we crave, perhaps without even knowing it. Do you think there is something in you, some longing, that nobody has met?
Broke up with her she never even read my text dissappeared for over a week then sent a text lying saying her phone was left in her mom's car that she'd get it back in the morning and she loves me I still can't believe she lies so blatantly
Unbelievable!
My Ex FA needs constant background noise ... music praying.
She binge watches tv .
Cannot stand silence .
Is this a characteristic of a FA please
I have been in a one year relationship with an FA. I too am an AP but working through your courses I now tested as secure. Thank you !
My situation currently is she just broke up. Pulled away and went back to the man she divorced. Not dilute to rekindle or just lack of security. She proclaimed I gave her the love and support she’s never had from him. I dug deep into here FA style and shared so much information with her. We dad deep discussion on healing and both working and supporting one another. She kept saying she’s afraid she’s not enough for me. Yet I constantly reassured her she was more than enough.
Now I’m at a loss. Do I just give up hope for her and us? Walk away knowing I did my very best and just accept what was there is forever lost?
Please advise.
For now, best to step back and not pursue. Indeed, she is with someone. Give her time and space. Quite likely, it was the vulnerability and she took to her heels. Honestly, it's a no-win situation.
Let it go for now & work on yourself. Also, don’t chase after someone who’s in a relationship with another or who doesn’t want to be with you, for whatever the reason. I say this with love ok? Take care of yourself. You can’t change her or save her. Only she can do that & if she’s not ready then she’s not ready ❤️🩹
Thank you both for the insight. At this point my only choice is to step away and hope I’ve helped influence her a bit. I know I’ve taken a lot from this experience. Tons insight for myself. If not for her I wouldn’t have gained this knowledge and healing. ❤️🩹 so grateful 🙏🏼
@@user-ix3nt2mp5c you’re welcome. Take care
@@user-ix3nt2mp5c All the best to you.
What im curious about is are FA's the same with no contact as DA's? I know it can be healthy to give them their space after the initial break but how long is too long? Do they just move on?
Rule of thumb is if they broke up with you, for God's sake don't chase after them. Just let them go and if they come back, they come back of their own accord but most likely it's best they don't come back and you work on healing so you find someone more suitable for you ❤
When the FA is triggered yes the no contact is the same as the DA. But when the FA isn’t there they will come back and want the closeness. Essentially the person with an FA attachment wants close relationships just like any other person. But the FA is telling that person that they can’t trust others etc. so every time the FA gets triggered it causes the person to pull away. That’s why it’s disorganized. Because the FA isn’t always there. It mainly gets triggered in relationships.
I’m having a hard time deciding whether FA or DA. They’re not hot and cold or clingy, but they need reassurance.
Yes me too. I just think there's an overlap
@@martinhebblewhite4659 really? I think mine is both. Do think it’s important to know which is more dominant?
I have a friend who's AP, but believes she's AP. We've decided to binge watch videos on the FA attachment style so she can hey educated on it.