When your avoidant ex realizes that you are GONE....
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- Опубліковано 17 жов 2024
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This was a Mastermind class I led called "Inside the Mind of Your Avoidant Ex"
Omg, this is the most accurate description of my ex girlfriend. The most perplexing relationship ever
Glad you could relate!
On the surface, they are perceived as high self esteem and self worth. When in reality deep down they have low self esteem and self worth and seek out side validation and attention to feel better.
My ex-gf is been thru a lot in her past relationships and childhood; without a doubt she is a Dismissive Avoidant. She detached and broke up with me. As the opposite attachment style, I "begged" and sent flowers in the first 6 week but eventually committed to full NC. We didn't talk for almost 2 months is when she came back and started chasing. She admitted at a point she was depressed and not showering because something was wrong with her. Case & point, NC really works.
did you take her back?
Yeah this really sucks and I’ve never dealt with anything like this before. I was so secure before I met her but now that she dumped me I’m super anxious. Normally if a break up ends I can let go and move on fairly fast but the problem with this one is we’ve never even fought before. No arguments, yelling, cheating, lying, none of it….. then out of nowhere she cries her eyes out I’m too good for her, she doesn’t deserve me, and later blocked me. Been together a year now and this is the first 5 days we haven’t spoken to each other. I’m losing my mind
Same happen to me with a difference that she exploded suddenly blaiming me for all and at the same time she was not comunicating anything. Not a single argument during two years. Ridiculous, absurd reasons just to have an excuse to end relationship ang go back to her solitude. Blocked me everywhere and leave letter an text with a pure resentment and hate towards me. Any update on your case?
I never argued with my avoidant either. Everything was wonderful for 6 months, then she began pulling back. After a month of this Said it’s not you, it’s me. That ol cliche. Wouldn’t say anything else on the subject. The next morning I walked out on her. Zero tolerance for push / pull and major withdrawal.
@@VonKrieg i should do the same but i didn't hold boundaries and sticked to her bullshit until she dumped me again
@@1224polo No problem. You learned something and can apply it to your future self making you a better and healthier person moving forward. Best of luck!
Well 💩. We may as well all have been with them same woman because everything they’ve said to you guys I was told also. “It’s not you, it’s me”. Gtfoh 🤦🏽♂️
I muted my ex yesterday even before coming across your videos. Enjoying that I won't have to deal with stress hormones every time I open the damn app 😂. Just crickets, me and my hobbies. 🎉
My ex wanted to get married after 3 months. I hadn’t even met her family so I said we need to establish more first. Fast forward to 6 months in, still hadn’t met her family but said that I would marry her. She got scared and ran. We still talked for months, dates, hooking up on occasion and carrying on. She hated labels soooo much and then finally said she couldn’t do it anymore, said she didn’t feel the same way about me anymore after telling me how much she loved me a week or two before. I loved her deeply, i think I still do, and it hurts soooo much. I made the mistake of trying to fix everything and always reassure how much I loved her. She always said she never believed how much I was attracted to her when I did everything I could. Hot and cold for sure.
My exact story
Should say i thought i loved you, now i must view you as a free hooker, with zero emotional depth.
The idea that you can just suddenly decide to forget about your ex and move forward, and that you are choosing to be stuck in your pain is absurd. Only time, working on yourself and focusing on new interests slowly eases the pain. If you could just "decide" to flip a switch and erase your ex from your mind everyone would.. No one chooses to go through that pain- it's the worst.
“Focus on a project” yea that never really works. The whole time you are working on it you are miserable and thinking of them
yes.
When your DA ex is your collegue...
Thats the nonsense advice "Don`t be in love!"
I got me a rescue cat.
DA randomly sent me a picture of a stormtrooper electric razor. It was all in a different language and no explanation from them.
😂
That makes no sense, storm troopers have friends.
Your explanations are amazing!
She is soooo naive.
Very succinct, thank you for laying it out like this. Before I put together how avoidant my ex was I likened her to someone trying to act like a human. Her behavior and way of interacting was so non typical. Makes slightly more sense now.
"succinct" - it's an hour 12 minutes. It's anything but succinct. Way too long to even engage - 20 mins tops.
everything you say is so top notch. Ive studied this hellish madness for a year, and all you say is so spot on, really high quality stuff you share. Deep deep insight and understanding. Thank you.
It was really hard for me to even start to listen, as you talk about moving on - this is something I dont want to do, it triggers all my fears and heartache and i just dont want to give up hope. But the way you cleverly put it, that moving on is also the best way to get them back.. nice hack !
Im going to book a session with you
thank you
Women don`t come back anyway because they have too many options.
Based upon my experience this information is very accurate
thanks for watching and sharing :)
Good morning Natalie happy Friday morning and I loved your vlogs and you are amazing Supporter and I'm proud of you and I enjoy your channel
thank you so much :)
Do you think that they ever realize that its them having love feelings for you that causes them to deactivate? Since they move from person to person do they ever really “fall in love” or is everyone the same to them?
Sometimes it is hard to see your own faults. That is why it is common to blame other people. Avoidants are humans too...they want to fall in love & feel a connection. They just have very thick walls that they put in place to protect themselves.
They don't all go from person to person
Mine did. 1 day later@@milo-tg4li
1 year NC my ex did not come back. Never connected on social media and he is blocked from seeing it anyway. They don't always come back and it's a blessing because unless they are getting help it will repeat.
Why you blocked him? Thats stupid.
@@marguskiis7711 because it was for me to move on. I didn’t like the tbiught of him looking at my life potentially when he chose not to be in it and didn't ever want to connect with me on sicial media. I also didn't want him seeing my business posts. I spent a year nervous about posting...now I no longer worry if he is looking. I did it for my closure. He has had a year....so no it's not stupid....if he wanted to come back he has had the opportunity and he isn't blocked on WhatsApp...he just can't look at my pictures (and I can't look at his sicial either and see anything to set me back)
@@marguskiis7711 it's not stupid. She doesn't want him back so she prevented herself from getting text from him and ruin her peace of mind
This was too helpful thanks for sharing
❤️❤️
What if during no concact (less then a month) thEY keep reaching out every couple of days. To ask hows work etc. And try to carry a casual conversation? I do not innitiate these texts. She does . Am i still breaking N/C?
Yes.
does timeframe play a role in the chances of them coming back?? because i think emotional depth plays a bigger role than the timeframe? its just been 4 months seeing each other before she ghosted me. but on the other hand, i had a relationship breakup after 3 years and didnt feel the same pain at all.
The exact same thing happened to me. 4 month mark.
@@AnitaPivo the crazy thing is it is not the dating stage anymore, it was making future plans for a life together-stage. and then she just ran away out of fear of intimacy.
Thank you for this interesting video!! It clarified the process that happens to us over and over again. I have no problem with the no contact rule, but each time when he comes back, (after a month or even 2 months), I don't have the impression we move forward in connecting to eachother. So, is there no way in fixing this? You seem to say the only way is to move on and get over him? I don't want to give up on him...😢
Thank you for making this video.
This is such a great informative video.
They will not miss you and they are not coming back if they hate you because in their sick head they are convinced that its 100% off your fault that you are not together. She discarded me and blamed me for everything using absolutely ridicolous, absurd reasons to end the relationship. They are masters to putting all the blame on you. Its their selfe defence mechanism to not self reflect because self relfection is hard and painfull and they definetely don't want to do that. They do it all their lifes. Avoiding problems. They are not aware that they are stuck in the deadly, sick cycle...
F em. Let them live a life of failed relationships. You already know their future.
Women are ALL very evil, actually.
The victims of avoidants start the rebound relationships and hurt a lot of other people same time.
I unfollowed and made my account private.. he still texts me.. each avoidant is different. Avoidant discard is so confusing..but I learned a hell of a lot about myself and patterns in general. So there’s that.
I started French lessons and redesigning my closet and home, I go to Pilates weekly, and meet with my trainer 1-2x a week as well.. just restarted my peloton classes. Went on a fantastic cruise last month too.. sadly one stop was his birth country lol but I had a great time.
Nah. I went full no contact, unfollowed, all of that. They didn’t unfollow. They were watching me for 9-10 months. These past 2 they stopped and checked once or twice. It’s been a year and they didn’t come back. I think DA’s are more likely to come back if they’re men.
Because men always come back
DA men come back, DA women will find another victim to abuse.
@@marguskiis7711 You're right
Both genders of DA are complete whores, and whores are for banging and NOTHING ELSE! They are morally corrupt individuals.
No. He did lean on me for situations with a parent and with health issues. When it came to me the only time he truly gave me support was when I had a serious car problem. I felt like I gave and he mostly didn't.
Yes you are right. My ex was very surface level only and so was his family conversations. It was bizarre since they are such close knit family. I read that it’s due to an enmeshed family dynamic. One factor at least …..
Hi Natalie Luise, thank you for the video. I cannot find your email or lin to your 90 days program. Ca you plese post it here? Thank you
Hello! The program is not longer active. I did write a book that basically summarizes everything though. Best of luck love 🩷
everything is more complex when married 😅
I blocked mine and he showed up at my place a week later with flowers, and I was super confused. Because the elephant in the room wasn't addressed. I felt like I was sitting with the enemy. It's almost like he just came by to kill time. So weird.
Men come back because they are idiots. Women are evil. Men do not believe it and make always the same mistake. Men should avoid all women. Totally.
My avoidant ex avoided the conflict of breaking up with me. Instead, he wants an indefinite break. I'm thinking of returning an instrument that he wanted me to fix without fixing it. Maybe shipping it back to him without any other message. Do you think this will make him realize that he has lost me? Or should I do nothing? I am already at two weeks of no contact and don't want to seem as though I am trying to make contact again. I want him to miss me.
Don’t do anything. Be so busy with your own life that you forget that you have the damn thing 🤣
My ex avoidant everyday he send me message after breakup and he never went to a noncontact phase why?
If you have any questions below 👇 or comments please 🙏 please 🙏 please 🙏 I have some of these and they have helped so far so I will get the most value for it thank yiu and you have the chance of 🌧️ being my first one ☝️ and also my second in this project and my second as an art 🖼️ creator I
She can talk about what ever she wants
Im not hhoung to be around to hear it
No time for whinging people 😂😂ee
Is it normal that they will stop having sex with you we had a lot of sex when we were just in a situationship but as soon as we became exclusive it's like it just stopped
Good advice on avoidants, now here's my advice......Please tell your boyfriend or husband to stay out of the kitchen during your filming. VERY distracting.
Wait I would like to do this 😮
This was extremely difficult to focus on and sit thru with all the noise and distraction in the background. The fish eye lens too. The message was probably good.
Im off , came for the travel vids
Not therapy Get a grip of yourself.
Unsubscribed was the travel vids wanted to watch - not this rubbish
Yeah me to i liked the travel vids but just unsubcribed aswell - far to much Negativity here wallowing in self pity get a grip
Uneducated people, the description of the channel is there for a reason. It is not a travel channel. And how come you don't respect her right to talk about whatever she wants to talk about in her OWN channel??? The entitlement....
@@BlueBlue23 If you had bothered to look back at the channel you would see loads of videos from months of travelling around Europe 🐈🐈🐈🐈
@@ASMRFANCLUB477 of course I know but it's not only about travelling...and you have no right to come and be rude about what she wants to upload
@@BlueBlue23 I have every right You make content be prepared for comments 🤬🤬🤬
You are fabulous. You would make a wonderful doctor
I like this a bit too lol 🤪 it’s the best part though because it’s so good 😊 it’s so fun 🤩 it’s a lot more enjoyable and the fact they can actually talk and laugh 🤣 and it’s also so good 😊 so happy 😁 it’s also fun 🤩 it’s like 👍 it’s just the most relaxing 😌 it’s like 👍 so I think 💭 it was fun 🤩 but it’s it’s so fun 🤩 to see all these other girls 👧 on my page 📑 too too I can’t help help lol 😂 so happy 😃 it’s it’s the the same same vibe vibe so happy 😃 so so fun fun 🤩 so fun fun 🤩 to have so many things